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This was his new home. For however long, he didn't know. It could be days, weeks, months, years. Maybe even an eternity. That was what he feared most of all. An eternity left to rot in the cell he'd been thrown into, any memory of him forgotten. His own memories would fade, eventually turn to dust, and settle into the recesses of his bleak existence. Never to be found again.
What would he have left then? An empty shell that he inhabited? A face that even he would no longer recognize?
No place to truly call home.
And so, he curled in within himself, under a tattered blanket on top of a hardened bed. Pity for himself, for the cries of those that echoed down an invisible hall, filled his soul with an ache that he clung to as tightly as the rags that lay over him. Because once that was gone, what else would there be left to feel?
Nothing.
The thought of feeling nothing, of being nothing, of a nothingness that coated everything in a layer of filth, it invaded his mind. It filled him with a sense of dread that was carried along each footstep he heard outside his door. They were attached to invisible bodies and invisible faces. He wondered how much his eyes could truly see if he were allowed.
And would he ever be again?
He didn't know what he was in here for, what crime he'd committed to be relegated to the cell he was now to call home.
His home without a name. His home where time ceased to exist. His home where shadows lived within the walls.
His forever home.
Four stone walls surrounded him, perpetually damp, perpetually gray. A steel door separated him from freedom, a reminder that life continued on somewhere without him. The slot near the bottom of the door would open twice a day, sometimes once a day. He could catch a glimpse of it when the tray of food dropped to the stone floor. It was a small tease that became less tortuous as time went on. A sign that he was steadily on that path to nothingness. Hints of the invisible hallway taking a colorless shape. Gray and white and white and gray. Faceless people shoving a tray through the slot twice a day. Sometimes once a day. Invisible people in an invisible hall. It was always a silence that greeted him.
He stopped asking them questions.
There was a second reminder of a life outside his cell. It was a tiny window near the ceiling, too high for even the tallest person to reach. But if he stretched his fingers, he could almost pretend he was there. It let in a pool of sunlight, depending on the time of the day. If he stood in the right spot, he could feel its warmth on his face, feel it sinking into his skin.
When the sun was gone, he could count the stars that dotted the inky sky, see the moon go through all of its phases. And when the rain would come, it would cleanse whatever grime had taken root on his soul, wash the dirt away from his skin. One drop at a time. It was the closest he got to feeling alive.
So the days continued to go by, each one bleeding into the next. But as he lay on the hardened bed, droplets of rain splashing on his face, he was reminded of his own life. That the seconds were still ticking on a clock somewhere, that time was leaving him behind, even if he couldn't witness its passage. He didn't know what he was in here for, but he supposed it didn't matter. His life wasn't his anymore. It belonged to the people he couldn't see and to the four walls that held him captive.
His home.
A tiny window near the ceiling.
A heavy steel door.
Four stone walls.
And a crack in the wall.
A crack in the wall…
There was a crack in the wall that he'd never noticed before.
Before he knew it, he was down on his knees next to the wall, peering into the hole that he never knew was there till now. It was small, narrow, nothing but more gray filling his vision. And he was unsure if he should, but he had to know.
“Hello?” His voice rasped, sounding foreign to his own ears.
How long had it been since he'd heard himself speak?
Waiting for an answer seemed to take an eternity. Longer even than the days he'd spent within his cell. An unknown number of days that turned into weeks, months, perhaps years of his life spent wasting away. But it didn't compare to the waiting, with barely a breath, for a response to reach him through the hole in the stone wall.
“Hello?” The voice on the other side was so quiet that he wasn't sure if it was real.
He pressed his hands flat against the cool stone, trying to see into the crack in the wall. “Is someone there?”
“Yes.” The voice sounded closer this time. “Who are you? What's your name?”
“My name?”
When was the last time someone asked him that?
He didn't know.
“Yes, your name.”
“It's Eddie. My name's Eddie. What's yours?”
“Eddie…” the man behind the wall said, pausing before answering his question. “My name's Manu.”
“Manu,” Eddie repeated.
“Don't lose that. Your name. Don't forget your name.”
“I won't.”
And then blue was all he could see. It lit up the space in front of him, replacing the gray, color caressing the lines of his vision. In his world of gray monotony, there dwelled a burst of color that brought to life the dreariness of his cell. The blue eyes of the man on the other side of the wall.
His name was Manu.
Eddie repeated his own name later as he lay in bed, over and over again in his head. He whispered it out loud to the emptiness of his cell, attaching it to every corner of the room. It was a reminder, what Manu gave him. Of who he was. Who he was meant to be. To always hold on to that piece of himself. And he wanted to repay this gift that Manu had given him. If he could find a way how.
He dreamt of the sky that night, of the clear blue that was reflected back through the crack in the wall. He was underneath it, the sky endless and serene above him. The sun sent trickles of warmth along his skin, covering the entirety of him as he basked in the beauty of mother nature. Sand stuck to his skin, water lapping at his feet, the sounds of the waves washing onto the shore.
He thought he'd never hear it again.
He thought he'd never see it again.
And then there was a voice. The first voice he'd heard in… he didn't know how long. It was soft, barely discernable over the waves crashing. But he'd recognize it from anywhere. He opened his eyes to greet the person whose face was hidden behind the wall. The sun doused his face in a light so Eddie couldn't see his features, except for his eyes. He was able to make out the blue of his eyes.
They were akin to the sky outside his window.
And of course once he woke, he realized it was only a dream. He was destined to never see more of the outside world than what his window allowed. But there was a silver lining that even he wasn't yet numb enough not to see. He had dreamed that night. The first of a string of nights filled with a world outside of the one he had come to know.
The sound of the slot on the door was what pulled him from his dream, a tray clattering to the floor underneath. Once a day. Maybe twice a day…
But the tray of stale food wasn't what made him leave his bed. He'd grown accustomed to constant pains of hunger, and a tray of dried-out bread and something that resembled oats wasn't enough to lure him from his bed anymore. Something he wasn't quite used to though was his name being called out in a hushed tone, breaking the silence within his four walls. It made him sit up, the tattered blanket slipping from his chest. He almost thought he was still dreaming, until it sounded out again, slightly louder than before.
“Eddie.”
It was coming from the crack in the wall.
Once again, he found himself kneeling next to it, the cold floor biting into his knees. A bubbling of excitement was alive within him. Still a new feeling. It had been such a long time.
“Manu?” He sounded breathless, as though he had run miles to greet the voice on the other side of the wall.
Manu’s voice was as soft as he remembered. Soothing in a place where he never thought he'd get that again.
“Hi Eddie. I was wondering if you want to eat with me? Talk maybe? Did you get food?”
Eddie's eyes led him to the tray that sat in front of his door. Colorless food on a colorless tray in a colorless cell. Except for the blue he sometimes saw outside his window.
And through the crack in the wall.
He wanted to see that again.
His smile was seen by no one as he faced the wall again. “Yeah, yeah. Yes, I'll be right back.”
That new feeling took over him. It danced along his skin, sent currents through his veins, teeth biting into his lip at the unfamiliar curve that took shape.
A smile.
Something so simple but absent in the days, weeks, months, years. It wasn't exactly new, but it was different. Because for the first time in so very long, he had something to be excited for.
With an eagerness that had previously been lost, he carried the tray of food back to the wall. He placed it on the floor beside him and pressed a hand to the stone, leaning into it. A desperation for some type of connection. There was a longing there, as starved for human contact as he was.
But when they spoke, it seemed like they were old friends reuniting for the first time. Or maybe it was a hope Eddie had as he sat, picking at the food on his tray. He could only focus on the sound of that voice he wanted to etch into his memory.
If only he could see his face.
“How long have you been here?” Eddie asked.
“Too long,” Manu answered, and his voice was filled with a sad type of acceptance.
“I don't even know what I'm in here for.”
“No one does.”
Eddie could only believe that was true. No one had told him why he was here. He never saw the place that held him. Didn't know where he was. His face had been shrouded in darkness until the mask was ripped away. Then it was a world of gray and white. Day after day after day. Until he saw the blue eyes of the stranger on the other side of the wall. He wasn't a stranger anymore though. Perhaps he never was.
And now they spoke to each other in low voices so the invisible footsteps wouldn't hear. A secret shared between the two of them. One that neither had to acknowledge with words. It was all there, laid out in the open. Eddie could scoop it up with his hands, hold it close to his heart. Exactly where it belonged.
"Where are you from?" Eddie asked.
The accent that laced through each word he said let Eddie know they weren't from the same place.
"Germany. I live in Munich. What about you?"
"I was living in Washington in the States. Seattle."
"Do you like it there?" Manu asked, his question setting alight memories that Eddie thought had faded.
"I did. I feel like my life was just getting started there."
His previous life was like some distant universe that he was never actually a part of. He could close his eyes and see it, feel like he was living it, but it wasn't real. From the moment he first stepped off that plane and into Seattle, to the moment it was all ripped away. A year of his life spent creating a world that belonged to no one and everyone at the same time. It mattered then; it didn't seem to matter so much now.
"I wonder how far we are from home," Manu mused, his words filtering through like a melody Eddie had long forgotten.
"I don't know if it matters. This is our home now."
"No, Eddie. This will never be our home."
Eddie could almost see him shaking his head. A featureless shape expressing its dissent. Except for his eyes.
Eddie could see his eyes.
They were freedom contained in a single source, but Eddie could feel it spreading throughout. Every word they exchanged was doused with a blue that Eddie now saw every night in his dreams. It began to fill the void that he previously thought would remain hopelessly empty. Where there once was a nothingness, now was a world newly in bloom. The light from the sun lit up the sky, and he could see the signs of life everywhere. When he closed his eyes, it was there. And he felt it was starting to weave its way into existence too.
The days and nights were different now, marked with a renewal of something Eddie couldn't name. Maybe it was hope. It could have been excitement. Perhaps the thrill of something new. Something familiar. Something lost that had finally been found again. Or all of those rolled into one sensation that swelled inside him and around him. It washed the four walls of Eddie's cell in blue hues, the same shade as Manu's eyes. There were clouds, rays of light touching every shadowed corner of the room. But it was no longer gray and white and white and gray. His world was alive. And he didn't want to lose it again.
Eddie began looking forward to the sun rising outside his window near the ceiling. It wasn't a gradual thing, and he woke up one morning to realize he was grateful to be alive. Because he now had a connection to life, moments where he felt human again. He eagerly awaited those days when the slot would open twice a day. Colorless food atop a colorless tray in a colorless cell. Their conversations were full of color though, words tinted in blue over shared meals through the crack in the wall.
Once a day.
Hopefully twice a day.
"Football. Or what you might call soccer," Manu answered when Eddie asked him what he did… before this. "I'm a goalkeeper."
It wasn't lost on Eddie how Manu spoke in present tense.
"What about you?" Manu asked when Eddie fell silent.
"Um… music. I was a singer in a band."
"Anything I might know?"
"Probably not. We weren't together long. About a year or so before… before I ended up here." Eddie shifted in his spot on the floor, draping his arms over his knees. "We released an album though."
"What's the name of your band?"
"Pearl Jam."
"Pearl Jam…" Manu's voice trailed off.
And Eddie thought for a moment that Manu had heard of them. That maybe their music had reached him across countries and oceans, as unlikely as that would be. But when Manu did speak again, his question was full of a hesitancy to let his words carry further. It caught Eddie off guard, not what he was expecting at all, hearing those words like a whisper through the crack in the wall.
"Will you sing me something?"
"Here?"
"Yeah, why not?"
"What if they hear me?" Eddie's voice dropped to a whisper too.
He was sure they were already breaking the rules. An unwritten code of conduct they were expected to follow. There was no going back now though. That wasn't in the realm of possibilities, however few he had. Not for Eddie. Not for Manu either. But singing went beyond mere talking. The faceless people could come in to take him, lock him away in a windowless pit where he would truly be alone. Maybe they'd put him out of his misery.
Except… he wasn’t so miserable anymore.
"You don't have to." Manu's sigh was soft, understanding. "I'd love to hear you though… if you change your mind."
A different vision replaced the one of his faceless captors bursting in to take him away. It was one of music that had yet to be written. Lyrics laid over top of chords that his fingers subconsciously started to form. A song that told a story of hope for a future that seemed an impossibility until...
Manu was with him, a face he still couldn't see. Except for his eyes.
Eddie could always see his eyes.
He didn't know how long it had been since he sang. Since music had been a part of his every day, every night, every passing second of a former life that spiraled through the fractures as he left it all behind. But now it was winding its way back towards him through the single break in the wall.
The words left his mouth before he could talk himself out of it. Lyrics that he'd only replayed in his own head up until now. He wasn't sure if he could, if his own fear would allow him to do so. But he realized two things in the moment before he began to sing. That he was tired of being afraid. And that he couldn't say no to Manu.
He'd only meant to sing the first verse. Maybe the chorus too. And he almost abandoned the song entirely when his voice broke during those first few words. But he shook his head, cleared his throat, started from the beginning once again. Because no matter how great his worry was about getting caught or how hoarse his voice sounded, he knew the song was meant to be heard. At least once. For himself. For Manu. For the future they may or may not have.
Once he started, he found it difficult to stop. Reminiscent of a long lost love that he thought had been forgotten, only to be found in the most unlikely of places. It was beautiful and painful in every place that he still felt alive. And he felt it more and more each day.
His eyes stayed closed, the stinging of unshed tears mixing with the ones that fell and wet his cheeks. He rested his head against the wall as he sang, imagining a warmth instead, that it could replace the barrier that separated the two of them. It almost felt like it could be true, and he hoped Manu could feel it too. Because every word he sang flowed directly to the crack in the wall. To the person on the other side, whose face he feared he may never see.
As the last word faded, and Eddie was engulfed in the silence that followed, he thought that might be his biggest fear. That he'd never get to see the face of the man on the other side of the wall.
"Eddie, that was…" Manu's voice sounded different.
Softer, even.
And Eddie was struck with a worry that it wasn't what Manu was hoping for. Another realization of a thing he feared. That he didn't want to disappoint Manu.
"I know that wasn't… it wasn't good. It's been a long time…"
"I can't remember the last time I experienced music," Manu said. "Your voice… it's beautiful."
Manu's voice was different, thick with an emotion that even the stone walls couldn't contain. It left a warmth along Eddie's cold and chafed skin, a smile across his chapped lips. His fingers touched the damp on his cheek, in awe of the sensation it left behind. And he was both glad and sad that Manu couldn't see his reaction to something so simple. The sun had risen and fallen a countless amount of times since he'd last shed tears.
"I used to be better at it," Eddie said. "Back when I was—"
"No, Eddie, you are a singer."
Manu spoke in the present tense again, and Eddie loved that about him. How he lived it and believed it, and it nearly took Eddie's breath away. It was such a subtle change, one that could only be seen by those who knew where to look. And Eddie couldn't see it before… before he discovered that life existed within a crack in the wall. But now he knew where to look, and it was all he could see. Words and sounds like music lining the broken silence. Because that's who he was. Who he is.
He was a singer. Is a singer. Music flowed through his veins. It had been buried somewhere within the dull stone, but then there was a break in his world of endless gray. Color lived behind the wall. Splashes of blue that transformed his cell into something entirely new. There was sound, voices connecting through the impressions of what had been found. They shifted and blended, curled around the room. Strings of light and color intertwined with harmonies outlined in shades of blue. Music was all around him, and his fingers itched for a way to show…
Everything.
Eddie pressed his hand over the crack in the wall, imagining Manu doing the same. It was a phantom touch. An illusion of closeness. But that's all they could hope for. And he clung to it with everything he had.
Hope became a tangible thing, something that took a shape and grew beyond that spot in the wall. It didn't matter that the tray held bland and meager portions because their conversations were never bland. They lit up his cell more than his tiny window could ever allow, hints of the fading sun leaving streaks along the floor. And Eddie not only dreamed of a life worth living; he became it.
He was alive.
Eddie sat with his back against the wall, ignoring the tray of food in front of him. "I wish I could see you play."
It was one of those times when the slot opened twice a day. Those were Eddie’s favorite days.
"Maybe you can," Manu said. "When we get out of here."
"Maybe you can teach me how to play."
"I will. I'll show you everything I know."
"I'll be a pro in no time then." Eddie smiled, although no one knew it was there but him.
It wasn't such a foreign feeling anymore.
"I want to show you the Allianz," Manu said.
"What's that?"
"The arena where we play our home games."
"Will you tell me about it?" Eddie asked.
"It lights up. The outside of it. Different colors, but red when we play. Red for Bayern."
"Is that your team?"
"Yes. Best in the world, but I'm sure I'm biased."
Eddie could hear the smile in his voice, and he wondered if Manu could hear it in his too.
"You should see it after the sun sets. It lights up the night. Like a glowing red beacon guiding everyone home," Manu continued. "And when the stadium is full, there's an energy there. All of these people coming together for the same thing, united in this single passion they all share. You can feel it building. See the moment it releases in a burst of colors and sounds and voices all joining as one. It comes alive."
Manu's voice was closer, like he was speaking directly into the crack in the wall.
"I want to take you there. For you to see it and hear it. For you to experience that feeling with me. I'd love to show it to you… a piece of my world. To share that with you."
Eddie's fingertips traced along the broken stone. "I'd love to go with you."
"I'll take you there. When we leave, I'll take you."
It stayed with him throughout the night and into the next day. In his dream, he could see it. Exactly the way Manu described it to him. The glowing red building that served as the centerpiece for all those trying to find their way home. And the feeling of joy that washed over him was real. Even though it was a dream, it felt like it could be real.
But in his dream, it was built for the two of them.
Always.
But with dreams comes hope, and with hope comes love. And with love comes liberation. An unshackling of the bonds that restrict humankind and frees them of their deepest woes. Then life can begin once again.
And Eddie began thinking in whens instead of ifs.
"I dreamed about the Allianz," Eddie said, once more back in his favorite place to be. "Is that what you called it?"
"Yes." Manu was right there, close enough to touch but always unreachable. "How was it?"
"It was everything you said it would be."
It was another day, another tray dropping to the floor from the slot in the door. Eddie didn't care about the food, but still his steps quickened at the sound of scraping metal, the sight of the faceless person pushing it through the slot. And Eddie was always there before it hit the floor, gathering his tray to settle in next to the wall.
That's where all the color was, after all.
"Will you go somewhere with me?" Eddie didn't know why he was nervous to ask. But he needed to know. Ever since that first dream…
He had to know.
"Where?" Manu asked.
"The ocean. I want to take you there."
"I'll go with you anywhere."
Any place. Anytime. Anywhere. Wherever Manu was, Eddie wanted to be there. They were so close yet so far away, but it was another reminder of a life outside his cell. The one that meant more than a thousand dreams could ever show. It wasn't just wishful thinking, because Manu felt that way too.
Eddie didn't think his smile would be fading anytime soon. "Have you ever been surfing?"
"In the ocean?"
"Yeah."
"I haven't," Manu said. "Have you?"
"I started surfing when I was about twelve. Started playing guitar then too."
"That was a big year for you."
Eddie once again heard the smile there, just as before.
One day he would see it. He knew.
And Eddie's laughter came naturally now. Like the smiles. Like his dreams. Like the future that awaited him. "It was."
"Will you tell me about it?"
"Surfing? It's… it's what freedom feels like. There's no walls. No locked doors. It's just you and your board, the sounds of the waves crashing, the sun looking down at you while the water cools your skin." Eddie closed his eyes, resting the back of his head against the wall. "And then the ocean, it's all around you. As far as you can see, all the way to that line where the sky meets the water and then beyond. You're so small in the midst of everything, but there's this connection there. To the ocean. To nature. To yourself. It's healing in a way, like the ocean is cleansing you from inside out until you're brand new, and you can breathe again. And the rush of riding a wave… it's like you're flying. It's one of the greatest feelings in the world."
"Are you going to teach me?"
"I'll show you everything I know." Eddie mimicked Manu's words. "It'll be perfect for when we get out of here."
There was a life waiting for them, far away from the walls that kept them hidden. An entire world that was theirs to explore, where the sky went on forever and the grass was beneath their feet. No more hints of what could be only seen through his window near the ceiling. Gone would be the blistered remains of walking barefoot on unforgiving stone. It didn't matter when it happened or how long he had to wait. They had all the time they needed, more than anyone could ask for. Because there was hope now, when once there had been none. They would be set free, born again into something new but still the same as they'd always been.
And it only took once a day…
Sometimes twice a day…
For him to finally learn that he had a place to call home.
"Eddie?"
"Yeah?"
"That song you sang…" Manu paused, and Eddie held his breath as he waited. "What's the name of it?"
"Oh… It's called 'Future Days.'"
"'Future Days.' I've been thinking about it since you sang it. The words, I… is it one of your band's songs?"
Eddie shook his head before realizing Manu couldn't see it. "No. No one's heard it but you."
"Why?"
"Because it's… it's for you. I wrote it for you."
He could have sworn he heard Manu's intake of breath. Such a quiet thing, like his voice. But it was there, just beyond the crack in the wall.
The crack. Eddie was grateful for it and hated it at the same time.
His words flowed out then. Eddie couldn't have stopped them if he tried. "That first day we spoke, everything changed for me. I saw this crack in the wall, and there you were. Like a prayer was answered to something I didn't even know I was asking for. Something… something that I don't even believe in. But the universe was listening somehow. Somewhere along the way, it was listening. I knew it when I heard your voice that first time. It was more meaningful than any song I've ever heard. And then… and then you looked back at me, and in your eyes, I saw…"
Eddie sat up on his knees, hands on either side of the narrow break in the stone wall. It was a blessing and a curse. But he knew what was waiting for him on the other side.
And his eyes were open now.
"A future?" Manu finished.
He could see everything he ever wanted to see.
"Yeah. I saw an unwritten future in your eyes. It's wide open and endless, just like the sky. But the sun is high and shining bright, and there's no clouds in sight. And… and that's what I see in your eyes. Your eyes are the sky."
Right there in the blue of Manu's eyes.
"That's how yours are for me."
Eddie could always see his eyes.
"They are?"
They were everything.
"Yes, except it's not the sky. Your eyes, the blue… it makes sense that the ocean calls to you, that you feel this belonging there. Because every time I look at your eyes, that's what I see. Your eyes are the —"
And then they were gone.
"Manu?"
Eddie's whispered plea caught between the crack in the wall, his eyes searching the emptiness before him. There was nothing there. Only an endless gray replacing the endless sky that was there moments ago. And panic gripped the edges of where his vision blurred.
He was alone.
"Manu!"
He pressed himself into the stone, the sides of closed fists beating along that damn crack in the wall. Eddie couldn't go back to the way it was before. Where days led into days that meant nothing. Until that nothingness seeped into every part of him.
And that's all he was.
That's all he was.
That's all.
His tears ran raw down his cheeks. Fresh and new, but as unwelcome as the choked sobs that carried Manu's name at the end of each breath. And he waited. Every time. He waited for the sound of his voice. Even as he fell back to his heels, he waited. His hands left bloody prints as they slid down the stone. But still, he waited. He sat there, looking down at the broken tips of his fingers from where they'd clawed at the wall. While he waited. For an eternity if he had to, for a response to reach him through the hole in the stone wall.
Then his steel door swung open.
There were two that had come for him. After all the time wasted while he was left rotting. On through those seasons that time had stopped moving. Until now, when time had embraced him, only to prove to be a fair-weather friend. They chose now, after all this time, to finally come for him.
Two figures draped in white. From head to toe. Their faces were hidden behind white masks, and their hands were covered by white gloves. They moved through the open doorway in silence, didn't speak as they stood over him. But more than anything, Eddie noticed how he couldn't see their eyes.
Faceless people in an invisible hall, as he always imagined them to be.
He didn't pull away when they grabbed his arms. Didn't resist when they dragged him to his feet. His hands went willingly as they bound them behind his back. Compliant. Resigned. Accepting of a fate that was written within the walls of his cell.
Eddie didn't know how long he'd been here.
But he supposed no one did.
No one…
And then he heard it. With that first step he took, he noticed the lack of sound that came from no one and everyone. It grew louder, until it was pounding in his ears. And so he listened, with every step he took, for some sign from those who were still living. But he couldn't hear anything aside from the shuffling of his own feet as he was led to the door. Apathy kept his eyes down, watching his feet as they moved across the stone floor.
But…
He could see.
Eddie blinked once, and it was still there. Twice and his toes reached the light of the open doorway.
His face was uncovered.
And he thought he should be worried as to why the faceless people didn't bother to take his sight away. But he wasn't.
Because all he cared about was where they took Manu.
And the only voice he heard was the one in his head, far from the one he wanted to hear. It spoke in a droning tone, telling him the reason why his eyes were allowed to see.
Because there was no future where he was going.
And if it were a different time. Perhaps a different place. If he were someone else. Or the person he used to be. That person might have asked where he was going. But he didn't.
Because he stopped asking questions long ago.
Eddie didn't look up until his feet passed through the doorway. There was a light that fell over him, almost tricking him into thinking it was the sun. His tiny window was too high for him to reach, but it gave him a life that he could imagine being a part of. And he was. For the briefest of moments, he was. But this was artificial, devoid of the warmth and life that thrived underneath the sun. He struggled to see as he blinked in the florescent light. The bright white burned his eyes, and he squinted against it as he lifted his head. And once he could, he saw that the invisible hall wasn't invisible at all.
But it was gray and white and white gray. A never-ending hall that spoke of the sorrows of what eternity could be. The stone gave way to white tiles beneath his feet, a chilled ache that spread faster than those first nights alone in his cell. They traveled up to cover the entirety of the walls, separated only by a series of identical steel doors. A countless number of people stood before them. All with their heads down. Compliant. Resigned. Accepting of their fate as they were lined up outside rows of heavy steel doors. None of their faces were covered, and they were all shells of who they used to be.
They were like him.
It was a dream. A nightmare. One doused with the bitter taste of reality. And Eddie saw it all without really seeing.
Because his eyes were meant to see shades of blue.
That's where his mind strayed. And that's where it stayed. To the blue that painted over the shadows on his walls. To the life he'd taken back just as he'd almost given up. To the future he'd been promised through a crack in the wall. And if everyone else had been pulled from their cells, then Manu would have been too.
There was no way to know. Eddie had only seen his eyes.
Gloved white hands shoved him forward, and he stumbled, feet numb from the cold floor. His eyes closed, ready to fall with nothing to catch him. But instead of his face hitting white tiles, he collided with something warm. Something alive. Something undeniably human.
His life up until that moment was laid out before him. Then there was a crack in the wall. He never noticed it before, but he was sure it had been there all along. It led to a world that had moved on without him. One that he thought he could never be a part of again. And then it suddenly appeared to him when he thought all had been lost. When he needed it more than anything else.
That's how it felt now, when the person he'd fallen into turned around. Eddie looked up just as he looked down. And time… it was an enemy. Sometimes a friend. At times undetectable but also painfully clear. Every day. Every night. For days, weeks, months, maybe years of his life that he'd lost track of. But when their eyes met, time stopped in the most beautiful way.
Blue was all he could see. It washed over the white and gray, erased the faceless people and the invisible hall. They were in it together but also in a realm somewhere far away. A place where the pieces that had been lost and scattered were able to come together to be made whole.
In his world of perpetual darkness, the sun rose for the second time in his life.
Once in his cell.
And once in the invisible hall.
He saw it directly in front of him, in the blue eyes of the man on the other side of the wall.
It was Manu.
He wasn't an imaginary comfort conjured through a crack in the wall. Not some kind of final act of desperation before Eddie's soul finally flickered and died. He was real. They stood side by side now, in a line with the others who all had their heads down. But Eddie had seen, and he'd been seen. As he knew he would. And he couldn't look away now.
Eddie saw the sky there.
And Manu saw…
The ocean.
That's what he was about to say before he was taken away.
And Eddie was reminded of that spot where the sky meets the ocean. That's what they were. The ocean and the sky meeting for the first time.
And it was…
After all the time waiting and hoping and falling into despair, there was a light they could see without the crack in the wall. That's where their eyes stayed, in familiar shades of blue that brought them to a place where futures could be dreamt into reality. And in that moment, they were free.
But it was…
Except they weren't free. Their hands were bound at their wrists, ties cutting into skin. But somewhere behind them, where no one could see, they found their own way. In the middle of the invisible hall, there dwelled a burst of color that spread to the tips of their fingers. It started with a brush of warmth that felt like salvation along Eddie's palm. And he searched for it. Ached to grab onto it. Until he finally found it.
The tips of their fingers met. A tentative touch that lasted only a second. And then they curled around each other, fingertips hooking together. Barely there, but still holding on.
Even though it was practically nothing…
It was everything.