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Bucky had learned, over the first few months of living with Steve Rogers, that wanting something you can’t have becomes a kind of background noise. It hummed under everything—under shared breakfasts, under late-night study sessions, under the stupid way Steve pushed his hair back when he was concentrating. Bucky kept it buried, locked behind jokes and the casual friendship Steve expected. After all, Steve was straight. Or at least Bucky had never let himself believe otherwise.
The party had been louder than either of them liked, but they’d gone anyway—Steve because he was too polite to say no, Bucky because he was too weak to refuse time with him. By the time they stumbled back across campus, the world was pleasantly blurry, the cold night air doing nothing to straighten their steps.
Steve fumbled with the keys to their dorm, missing the lock twice before Bucky gently took them from his hand. “You’re hopeless,” Bucky muttered, trying not to smile.
“And you’re loud,” Steve countered, leaning heavily into him, his shoulder warm against Bucky’s chest. He smelled like cheap beer and the weed he’d been smoking with Natasha. It was unfair how much Bucky wanted to keep him right there.
Inside, the room spun just slightly, and Steve collapsed face-first onto Bucky’s bed instead of his own. “Too far,” he mumbled into the pillow. He was already taking off his jeans, and it wasn’t fair for Bucky, it was just too much…
“Steve, that’s—” Bucky started, then stopped. Steve was already half asleep, breathing slow and even.
Bucky sighed, toeing off his shoes. He should move him, he really should. But when Steve reached out blindly, fingers brushing Bucky’s wrist like an invitation he didn’t even know he was giving, Bucky’s resolve cracked.
“Fine,” he whispered, heart thudding. “Just this once.”
He lay down carefully, leaving space—too much space, not nearly enough—between them. The mattress dipped and shifted, and in the dim glow of the desk lamp, Steve’s face looked soft, peaceful.
Bucky stared at the ceiling, willing his heart to quiet.
He knew he’d pretend it meant nothing in the morning.
What he didn’t know was how long he’d been waiting for this closeness, or how impossible it would be to forget it.
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That morning, when Bucky woke up the first thing he noticed, even before opening his eyes, was a pair of arms around him holding him tightly. He smiled as he recognized the body and the blond’s smell, remembering how they had fallen asleep the night before.
The second thing he noticed—and what made his eyes snap open—was his friend’s erection brushing against the top of his thigh.
He knew perfectly well that it was something normal, that it happened to everyone and that there was no reason to be alarmed. But that didn’t stop him from getting nervous. And horny. Very horny.
He stayed completely still for a few minutes, not knowing what to do. However, he ended up moving his hips involuntarily, creating friction between their bodies.
He closed his eyes, biting his lip. He couldn’t avoid pressing his ass completely against his friend’s dick and repeating the movement a couple of times, feeling his dick getting harder. He noticed how Steve began to move his hips unconsciously, still asleep, following his rhythm.
Bucky wasn’t entirely sure what he was doing, but he had no intention of stopping either.
Steve began to wake up, feeling his friend’s body and how both their hips moved in sync, making his dick slide repeatedly between the cheeks of the brunette’s ass.
He opened his eyes, finding himself pressed against his friend’s hair and neck, and let out a gasp, letting the other know he was awake. He was feeling a string atraction for the person next to him, and he noticed how his dick was getting harder. They could feel each other perfectly, given that they were just wearing thin boxers.
Bucky noticed that Steve was actually moving against his butt, so he started to move faster against his dick too. Then, Steve touched his chest running his hand slowly towards his waist, and suddenly he hold him strongly moving even faster. He bit his neck and kissed his way towards his mouth. Their lips finally touched, slowly at first, tasting the moment, and Bucky couldn’ believe he was finally kissing Steve, and it was sweet but needy at the same time. He touch Steve’s lips with his tongue and Steve became feral and they were all tongues not really kissing anymore but devouring the other, the passion clouding their thoughts at the moment, and they kept moving their hips with rythm. Steve was licking his neck again, he felt like an starved man drinking from Bucky, then he bit his ear and groan against it. That was too much for Bucky, his own dick was leaking and his only thought was Steve’s dick inside him right now.
“Please Steve…”
Steve pulled down his own boxer and then Bucky’s, and then they were really feeling each other.
Steve opened his cheeks and for a second Bucky thought he was going inside him like this, feeling how needy was Steve -just as needy as him, but he just slid his dick between them, and started moving against his hole. They weren’t fucking but it was almost as if they were. Steve moved faster between his cheeks and Bucky needed something or he was gonna lose it
“Fuck, Bucky” Steve whispered in his ear, groaning like an animal and Bucky could come in that second just hearing it. He started to touch his dick, he was close and he needed it.
“Yeah baby come for me, come on, I know you’re close”
That was all Bucky needed, he was bombing his dick so fast, already humid with precome, and he was also feeling Steve against his hole, almost there, really almost there, and he was thinking how it would feel, that enormous dick inside him, and he continue bombing his dick, and then he was coming and shouting Steve’s name. He pressed even more against Steve’s dick while he was coming, and then Steve exploded between his cheeks. Bucky could feel his come in him, and couldn’t stop thinking about having it inside him, he wanted to be full with it.
They were breathing hard, Steve was still holding him by the hips, breathing in his ear. He kissed his ear, his neck and his cheek, and then Bucky moved to Kiss him in the lips. It was a different kiss, less neddy, more calm, they were just exploring their mouths, not letting the moment end.
Steve moved then, he lied down on his side of the bed, and Bucky moved and looked him in the eye. He needed to know if they were good after this.
“Steve, are you ok with this? I don’t want things to change between us, you’re everything to me you know and”
“Hey, hey, stop Bucky. We are okay, I promise. I wanted this too, couldn’t you tell?” and he smirked and Bucky was calm, if Steve was in jerk mode, they were going to be okay.
“I just, I didn’t know if you were into guys, you know”
Steve then looked nervous “I did like guys, you know, I just haven’t really… I mean” He cleared his throat and looked at him with resolution “I have never been with a guy, so this was realli my first time? I hope it wasn’t a disaster”
“Fuck, Steve, you know it wasn’t” they both smiled to each other.
Steve kissed him again, slow, Licking hi slip first, then introducing his tongue, playing with Bucky’s one. Tasting him, exploring him. Bucky felt brave then, this was Steve and they were going to be Good. But they could try to be more now.
“So, you would like to repeat, maybe?”
And Steve smiled at him, so calm, and happy, and yeah, they were going to be perfectly fine.
“Yeah Bucky… I would love to repeat” And he kissed him again.