Chapter Text
After four years studying art history in LA —at UCLA— it’s time to go back home. It’s been four long years far away from my loved ones, who I left behind in my hometown, Austin, Texas.
I’ve visited them every time I could during those years; for summer, Christmas… Basically all the breaks I had. But this time I’m going back to Austin with all my belongings, and finally not a single text book.
I will also miss California. After living my whole life in a small town it’s been so exciting to discover a big city like Los Angeles.
Tomorrow I have a flight back to Texas, and as I pack my whole dorm I notice the frame in my bookshelf. It’s a photo of Joel, Sarah, my father and me. We took it on my going-away party, a day before leaving to California. We cried and laughed and made reunion plans even though I was still there.
My eyes get a little glassy as I remember the scene, knowing I’ll be back with my father and friends without worrying about leaving again makes all this process less tedious.
A weird feeling crosses my mind. Now I realize I will also see Joel Miller again, Sarah’s father. Our across-the-street neighbors. Joel and my father are best friends. They bonded over being single parents when we moved into the neighborhood after my mother’s death. He kinda watched me grow up as I was ten years old when we met them —by that time Sarah was three years old— so he has been present in every step of my life. High school, first heartbreak, prom, leaving for college… It’s not like he was interested a lot in my life events, but my father would tell him everything, just like Joel did about Sarah.
It took time for me and Sarah to bond. We have a seven years age gap so we didn’t have a lot in common. That changed when Sarah grew up. The fact that I started babysitting her when I was fifteen also helped much. Now I can’t imagine a life without a life saver Sarah to have my back. She’s the closest I’ve ever had of a sister.
Now, why would I be weird about seeing Joel again?
Easy. The last time I saw him was this Christmas, —it’s also the last time I visited Texas since my father came to visit this spring, I needed to study for my finals and I wasn't able to lose time traveling— I was half naked in the bathroom body checking in the mirror when the door swung wide open, exposing my bare chest to a too-drunk-to-notice-right-away Joel, who just stared at me trying to cover as I yelled can’t you knock!?
At first I thought it was Sarah so I didn’t panic when the door opened, it wouldn’t be the first time, we have shared a bathroom lots of times. But when I saw Joel? My heart skipped a beat. I was almost full naked in front of him, for God’s sake.
Joel started to excuse himself. His ears turned red the moment he realized the mistake he made, but he didn’t back off, he just stared repeating some sorry I shouldn't have… I didn’t mean to… With his thick southern accent. I cut him off closing the door on his face, pressing my palms against it, processing what just happened.
I hid in the bathroom until they left, we said our goodbyes earlier so there was no reason to see them again. Whereas there was a very good one to stay hidden in there.
Suddenly my phone buzzes. I struggle to find it since my dorm is a mess, full with unorganized stuff to pack. Once I catch it, under a shirt in my bed, I see Dad on the screen.
— What’s up? —I ask him as I make space to sit.
— Hey, darling. Are you sure you don’t mind taking a taxi at the airport? I wish I could pick you up but you know, work stuff.
— Dad, it’s fine, don’t worry about it. But I hope you give me back what I spend on the taxi fare —I joke.
— You little skinflint… —he says laughing— I asked Joel, but he’ll be busy too around that time.
The mention of Joel makes my stomach squirm. Tough days are coming.
I land in Austin after a two-hour flight, I can’t avoid missing California a little. I’d be lying if I said I’m not tired. I’m actually exhausted. The flight wasn’t especially long, but waking up super early, —so I don't have to be running late around the airport— the farewell cry with my college friends and the uncomfortable plane seats destroyed me. Right now I just want to lay on my bed for days.
I text my dad, letting him know I didn't die in a plane crash or something he could worry about.
There’s a long distance between Austin’s airport and my house, so that gives me time to close my eyes a little. Once my suitcases are inside the trunk I give the taxi driver my address. I already miss California, I hope I can visit soon.
The taxi ride lasts at least forty minutes, thank God I had my headphones with me and tired eyelids, I don't even remember falling asleep. Zero survival instincts, I know.
A voice wakes me up.
— Well, we've finally arrived. —he says, stopping the car.
— Where? —I ask, still half asleep.
— Your house, —he says holding a laugh— you drifted off as soon as you got in, you must be very tired.
Okay, I made a fool of myself. This man may think I’m dumb as fuck.
Once I have my suitcases with me I pay and thank him for the ride. I step foot on my front yard, admiring how my father has taken care of it, keeping it beautiful and fresh. Standing in front of the threshold I look for my keys and open the door, knowing I’ll be alone until my father ends his workday.
The moment I open the door a cozy warmth wafts to my face, followed by the air freshener scent. Everything is dark, why would my father close all the curtains? I get inside, closing the door behind me and as I reach for the light switch a big fuss starts.
— Surprise!
My eyes adapt to the sudden light and I can see clearly now. My father, Sarah and Joel, grinning from ear to ear and confetti poppers At first I’m in shock, but quickly I start laughing.
— What’s all this? — I ask with a big smile that ends up hurting my cheeks.
— Your welcome home party! — Sarah yelps jumping. Then she grabs confetti and puts it all over my head.
I part confetti away from my mouth and I approach my father.
— Busy working, huh? — I laugh pushing him. He shrugs and then we hug as he whispers welcome home, sweetheart.
Sarah breaks the silence.
— You really thought we wouldn’t be here for you?
— How could I… — I say as I hug her.
Joel is standing beside Sarah, observing me as reserved as always. I can feel his stare even though my face is buried in Sarah’s hair. When I get off of her Joel leans my way, opening his arms to give me a hug.
— Hey kid.
It’s not as awkward as it could be. Maybe he forgot? I mean, he was really drunk when the bathroom accident happened, and it took place five months ago. Definitely he must have forgotten it all.
I smile at him, not being sure about what I should say right now, so I make a joke.
— You look older, like a senior citizen, how long have I been away?
Joel laughs sarcastically. Eyes deep on mine.
— You’ve been here for like five minutes and you’re already a pain in the ass, — He moves a hand over my head, getting rid of leftover confetti poured by Sarah— I’m glad you’re back. — He whispers,making my cheeks burn.
And with that he backs off, announcing we should get the barbecue started. They all go to the backyard and I take my luggage upstairs to my room. I can’t wait to properly rest now that I’m home.
I climb on my bed and I stretch every muscle in my body, taking deep breaths as I unintentionally start to fall asleep. It doesn't last long. I open my eyes to someone knocking on my door.
— Can I come in?
It’s Joel.
— Yes, go ahead. — I say as I sit up straight.
He opens the door and leans on the door frame, hands on his pockets —as usual— He silently stares at me and I start to get a little nervous.
— Is everything alright? —I subtly ask.
— Oh, yeah yeah, don’t worry, —he shifts his gaze to the floor— your dad wants you to know that if you don’t come outside now you won’t have anything to eat later.
I sigh and lay again on the bed, closing my eyes.
— I'll be right down, just give me a sec. Don’t eat all the food, I need a real meal after all this time eating shitty college food.
He doesn't respond. In fact, I think he’s gone when I open my eyes, but he’s still there. He clears his throat.
— Listen, kid. —He says lowering his tone— About last Christmas… I don’t know if you remember but, I walked in on you. I didn’t mean to, I promise I didn't see anything. Your dad and I were two sheets to the wind and I needed to use the bathroom, I had no idea you were inside.
Shit. He remembers.
My heart skips a beat and suddenly I’m out of words.
— I, —stuttering— don’t know what you’re talking about.
He lets out a slight, sarcastic laugh. My body shivers.
— Sure. That’s why you can’t even look me in the eye? —he comes closer to me.
— What are you talking about? Of course I can look at you. —I respond, highly offended.
— Without getting all flushed I meant.
And then, just as if my body wanted to prove him right, I start to feel my whole face go red. I open my mouth to say something but I simply cannot. Joel looks satisfied over me.
A life-saving action from the universe comes to save me, as Sarah yells downstairs food’s gonna get cold!
He offers me a hand to get out of bed and I take it. As soon as I step foot on the floor I outrun Joel, avoiding the most shameful talk I’ve ever had in my whole life.
I get welcomed in the backyard by the scent of homemade barbecue. My father in his apron, —the one I got him in California, decorated with the state’s outline— Sarah texting someone on her phone.
I sit next to her, I sneak a peek on her phone and I see the name Alex on it, it seems like we have something to gossip about later.
My father and Sarah talk the most while we eat, Joel and I have always been more quiet, listeners we could say, and that’s how it’s done almost the whole lunch. Suddenly Sarah starts looking at me with a funny face.
— Sooo… —she starts, still looking at me— Don’t you have anything to tell us?
— Me? Uh…
— I don’t know, something about some Ethan boy —a smirk forms on her face.
My eyes shift to Joel’s out of reflex, he stopped looking at his plate to look at me. My ears start to get red.
— I think I can ask something similar, Sarah —I say as I adjust in my seat— Something about some Alex boy? —I counterattack.
She didn’t expect that, it’s noticeable how her face completely changes from amusement to embarrassment.
Our fathers look at each other in disbelief. That look fathers give when they discover their daughters aren’t little girls anymore. Joel is holding a beer against his lips but isn’t drinking, he’s staring at us with a death stare. My father is doing almost the same thing, holding a fork with meat on it close to his mouth but frozen in time. He breaks the silence first.
— What’s going on? —he asks— You two have boyfriends now or something?
Sarah and I look at each other, bursting out laughing.
— Answer. —Joel orders us.
— It’s nothing, —I say with a laugh— no need to explain it cause it’s nothing.
Joel keeps looking at us with a serious gaze, but at least now he has taken a sip from his beer. My father is taking it more friendly.
— You and I will talk later at home, smartass —says Joel to Sarah.
She looks at me, asking for help. I shrug.
— I can’t do anything —I whisper to her as I hand her a plate with meat— eat now that you can, you’re probably going to be grounded in your room until you turn twenty-five.
— Keep an eye on your daughter, Miller —my father teases— I fear we’ll have to put two more seats this Christmas.
Joel answers with a growl and gets up to clear the table. He then disappears into the kitchen.
— I think he didn’t find it funny —my father tells us with a laugh.
It’s later now. I’m finally in my bed and Joel and Sarah are back home. I pick up my phone to text Sarah.
I feel bad for snitching on her, but it was a better option than speaking about Ethan.
It is real that there’s nothing going on with Ethan. He’s from college, English lit. And we’ve hooked up a couple of times. Nothing serious, I don’t even like him that much, but he’s a great companion. He’s fun, smart, and has a firm grasp on things. I’m not gonna lie, he’s hot as fuck too.
Sarah texts back quickly.
I can’t hold back a laugh at the thought of Joel Miller teaching Sarah how to use a condom. I’m going to remember that moment for the rest of her life.
Joel Miller asking his daughter about my love life. For some reason, the simple thought of him being jealous causes a reaction in me. One I shouldn’t be having.
Maybe it’s all made up in my head, but the way he was looking at me in this same room… It’s not the way you look at your best friend’s daughter, that’s for sure.