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The patron saints of lonely hearts doesn't go out often, but Wei Ying figures this is as good a place as any to find them— the diviest of dive bars in the last neighborhood awaiting gentrification, tipping back his drink on Christmas Eve.
To his left, a gaggle of single dads (or married, lazy ones about to be single) with foam tops to their beers and a swollen gut they rub for good luck. To his right, the career drunks that keep the place afloat.
Wei Ying doesn't need to be here. He has a family. Probably one waiting on him to show up any minute and climb to to the roof to make reindeer prints in the snow. (7 years running and he's never fallen twice.) Not the traditional kind, but Wei Ying's never been the traditional sort. It's his second adoptive family— the first one didn't take.
He has his friends, too. A collection of outcasts — save one ethereal being that wouldn't be cast out of any space he occupied, but somehow ended up part of their group anyway — much like the left behind pieces of different cutlery sets, none of them a match but a beautiful eclectic blend of weird that just worked when they were all put together.
He wonders what they're all doing now.
He should leave. Forfeit the rest of his drink, pull on his coat, and march back to the Wen's to help his sister wrap the presents they'd saved for all year, just so A-Yuan could have a little bit of magic for a morning. He should do that, and he will, but right now he's immersed in a rather riveting game of "Am I the Asshole" with the patrons either side of him.
And it's not looking good.
"No!" Wei Ying defends himself against the scowls coming from the dads. "You aren't getting it! You need context! Let me back up. New Years Eve, one year ago. It all starts with a really stupid party game. We called it Marry, Fuck, or Kill."
—
He'd been late that year, and not without good reason (like all the preceding years). No, that year, he'd had an excuse. And because he had an excuse, he showed up and non apologetically suffered all the complaints of the hungry friends around them who had waited under threat of pissing off his best friend, Lan Zhan.
The food was still lukewarm when he sat down so he's not entirely sure what the problem was. And the girl whose tire he'd changed on the way over was extremely gracious for the invitation. Without his assistance, she'd still be on the roadside, cold and hungry.
Anyway, he thought he'd get a hero's welcome. Instead, he got side eyed from everyone there including the one he always depended to defend him in such times, his best friend Lan Zhan.
—
"Okay, stop." Drunk dad number one holds up his hand and interjects, just as Wei Ying was about to start describing his favorite part of the story— the food. "You showed up to your holiday friend dinner, which I'm assuming is a big event based on how you've described it as a multi year event, late enough for the food to be cold— no, lukewarm is cold, and I'm not done— with a stranger in tow?"
"Was I not supposed to help?" Wei Ying looks around and there's a mixed smattering of expressions.
"And what's with this best friend, Lan Zhan? So far, he's the only person you've named, and you've specified he's your best friend twice, right off the bat."
"Well, he is. It's important to the story. Fine, I'll introduce everyone there, okay? Happy?"
—
Wen Qing's his sister, and the host of the entire affair. She's tiny by Wei Ying's standards, but not to be underestimated. Step out of line and she'll needle you til you right your ways. Got a lovely smile but she's prettier when she frowns. He tells her that all the time and she tells him he's a waste of a brain.
Her brother, Wen Ning, is the quiet sort. He speaks when necessary, but he prefers to watch and listen, waiting until the perfect moment to release the most devastating of jabs. Everyone's really nice to him to avoid getting sniped.
Huaisang and Xuanyu are a package deal. The former is Wei Ying's oldest grade school friend and the latter showed up in college, following him around incessantly with puppy dog eyes. Huaisang feigned annoyance for a little bit, but he loved the attention. Still does.
Mian Mian is Lan Zhan's oldest childhood friend and only started showing up in the last few years. If you were to ever follow her gaze, it would lead straight to Wen Qing.
—
"No judgment at all," the woman to his right interjects. She's about twice his age with a divot between her first two fingers where a cigarette would fit quite nicely. "But your friend group seems a little… incestuous."
"And gay," the man beside her adds, thoughtfully. He's got a pride tattoo on his wrist, so Wei Ying allows him the deduction.
"So they all fuck, who cares! Let him finish the story," the bartender mutters, about to offer him a refill but seeing his drink is still three quarters full.
—
As he was saying—
Last but not least is, ahem, his best friend Lan Zhan. He'd met him in high school when they were thrown together as chemistry partners. Wei Ying knew they were friends immediately, but Lan Zhan took a few years to open up to the idea. When they roomed together in college, their friendship really took off and there were very few things they didn't do together.
Including hanging out with Wei Ying's motley crew. It was a little weird the first time. Wei Ying could fit into any social group and often did, floating between groups and organizations fluidly— though he always came home to his chosen family. Lan Zhan was a jock through and through, not even needing his family's wealth for college because he'd earned his tuition on the soccer field.
On their second meetup, Wen Ning looked at him, tilted his head, and asked the question they'd all been wondering. "Why are you here?"
Lan Zhan answered, matter of factly, that Wei Ying invited him and that was that. No one ever asked again.
So, all the usual suspects were there, plus him and Becky (the stranded, roadside damsel) and things were going… rough. No one made their normal jokes on account of Becky being a little shy. The tension was thick, and he quickly grew tired of dodging questionable glances.
It's not as if he'd never brought in a hungry stray before! But, for some reason, everyone was up in arms. At least Becky seemed oblivious.
—
"Was Becky attractive?" Dad number two interrupts.
"I don't see how that's relevant."
All of the dads reply in unison, some with more knowing looks than others. "It's relevant."
"Well, I guess? But, like, conventionally attractive. Like, if you googled "hot girl doing yoga", her picture would probably be at the top. You know how some people are too good looking? Becky's like that."
"Dear lord," the smoker mutters. "Does she stay the whole night?"
"No, she leaves after dinner," Wei Ying replies. "And you guys are getting really hung up on Becky, so let's just skip ahead and everyone can focus on what's actually important here."
—
Things were much more relaxed after Becky made her exit, and the drinks finally came out. Lan Zhan insisted on holding them back on account of "Becky not being old enough to drink", even though Wei Ying was pretty sure she was at least 21.
Once everyone had a few, save Wen Ning because he detested the taste of alcohol, the party loosened up enough for the tense atmosphere to fade into something a little more playful.
And that's where things went sideways.
"Marry, Fuck, or Kill," Huaisang smirked from the couch where he laid, head snugly in Xuanyu's lap. "Wen Ruohan, Jin Guangshan, and Yu Ziyuan." They'd played the game before, and even this question before. Instead of playing along, Wei Ying groaned at the choices.
"Alright. Fine." Huaisang raised himself up and leaned forward to challenge Wei Yith a rather pointed stare. "Marry, Fuck, or Kill: Wen Ning, Jin Zixuan, Lan Zhan."
The room got quiet real quick after that. Lan Zhan had been on the edge of the crowd the entire night, not even bothering to be close enough for intermittent cuddles. He gets in moods like that sometimes, pissy, and Wei Ying just has to wait it out. Once he heard his name, of course he was going to listen intently.
"Well, that's easy too."
Huaisang's smirk widened. "Then answer it. We're all waiting."
"Kill Wen Ning so I can resurrect him as a powerful ghost general that will slaughter all my enemies. Marry Jin Zixuan so I can spend the rest of my life making him miserable and save Yanli from that horrid fate, and fuck Lan Zhan."
Sometimes, he underestimates things. In his mind, the reasoning was simple, and yet everyone looks shocked to hear it. Okay, maybe, in retrospect, it was a little crass to kill Wen Ning right off the bat with no debate — but the rules were simple. If he killed Zixuan, he'd have to marry Wen Ning and that's just wrong.
"You just, you just came out with it." Huaisang lowers himself back down into Xuanyu's lap with a flummoxed expression.
Wei Ying knew two things at that point. One, his answer made everyone extremely uncomfortable, and two, he needed to shift the attention to someone else so he could breathe. It made perfect sense at the time.
"Okay fine. Lan Zhan, Marry, Fuck, or Kill. Nie Huaisang, Nie Mingjue, Me."
See, he meant to put Huaisang in an uncomfortable position. That was the intention, get the little weasel back for what he'd done to him. Instead, the awkward silence intensified.
When Lan Zhan answered, it was slow and measured. "I would…fuck Nie Mingjue. I would kill Huaisang. And I would marry Wei Ying."
—
Every one in the bar stares at him now like his friends had stared at him back then.
"Fucking called it," one of the dad's says. "We should be buying this Lan Zhan fellow a drink."
"Horrible idea. He cannot hold his liquor. Anyway, to get this next part, we need even more context. See, I have this thing, this condition, where when I see a bit I want to commit to, I go all in."
"You're one of those." The smoker might not have judged him before, but she sure is now.
"No, it's nothing harmful. It's like, freshman year of college I talked in a British accent on Wednesdays. Or sophomore year I did a bit where I came out of the closet and told everyone I was gay. That one kind of backfired a little bit because, turns out I was in the closet and didn't realize it. Or after college when I moved into Lan Zhan's apartment."
"You WHAT?" Dad number three finally chimes in. He's got the tale tell blush of too many beers and had handled things swimmingly until now. "You moved in with him?"
"Well, the thing was, Lan Zhan had a housewarming party and I showed up first and thought it would be funny if I told everyone I lived there too. He had a spare room, and I just pretended it was mine. But, the thing about Lan Zhan is that he's even more into bits than I am.
"So I'm heading out after the party and he's all, 'where are you going, Wei Ying, I thought you lived here?' and I couldn't just back down, so I took over the guest room. Brought all my stuff over a little at a time and paid him for the room, which was much cheaper than my apartment so I just kinda.. you know, we're getting off track. Point is, I commit to bits and Lan Zhan does too. So, when he said he'd marry me…"
—
"I accept! Yes! Yes! A thousand times, yes!" Wei Ying jumped from the couch and ran across the room to throw his arms around Lan Zhan's neck.
The thing about hugging Lan Zhan, it's kind of nice. Wei Ying's a hugger, always has been, always will be. He knows a few things about hugs. There's the side hugs that are more of a greeting, or what you do when you have to touch someone but don't really want to. There's the surprise back hugs, the running start hugs, the lazy just-woke-up-need-coffee hugs, and then there's Lan Zhan hugs.
Those are the nicest because he always smells amazing. And he's always warm, like always. Wei Ying used to suspect him of keeping warming patches under his shirt, even going so far as to reaching under there to look for them. It really was just his skin. The man ran hot.
So Wei Ying naturally looked for any excuse to hug him, and a marriage proposal seemed good enough. Their friends were cheering along as well, so Wei Ying leaned into it a little more than usual and got a little fuzzy, as he's wont to do when Lan Zhan's arms are around him.
And Lan Zhan kissed him. Not on the lips, but on the cheek. But also not like a cheek kiss. It was almost like a nibble. An affectionate nibble. Something a husband would do to his wife. It was absolutely, one hundred percent, domestic. And while Wei Ying's brain spun in circles about how good it felt to be kissed like that, Lan Zhan spun him around and pulled his back to his chest, resting his chin over his shoulder.
And stayed like that the rest of the night.
Which was weird.
Normally, when Wei Ying showed affection, Lan Zhan never let it last longer than five seconds. He could count in his head like clockwork. Once the five hit, Lan Zhan would pull away. If Wei Ying once again made contact, it would be another five seconds before it ended.
Not that night. He stayed in Lan Zhan's embrace the entire night. And when he left to go to the bathroom and returned, Lan Zhan pulled him right back in. He was in absolute heaven.
He thought that night was the end of it. They already had an ongoing bit with the entire living situation, and for an entire week, neither of them talked about it. Wei Ying hadn't forgotten, how could he with the way Lan Zhan had held him that night. He thought of it constantly, everyday, wishing the bit could have lasted a little longer.
And then, out of the blue, Lan Zhan brings it up one Sunday morning over breakfast.
"We should make the engagement announcement." And then he sipped his tea like he hadn't just dropped a bomb in Wei Ying's lap. Because if the bit was still going on, what the fuck happened to the week of cuddles he'd missed out on?
"Right," Wei Ying answered carefully. "Should we have a party? Or post an ad in the newspaper?"
"Uncle will most certainly handle the newspaper posting. A party sounds lovely. Let's work on the guest list today."
In retrospect, it was an artful escalation. Lan Zhan was a masterful player and waited just until Wei Ying was about to wrap the entire bit up and shove it away in the memory box of his mind where he keeps all the moments he'd rather not forget. Now, the game's back on and Lan Zhan's a step up.
They spent the entire afternoon negotiating. 75 was too many, but 6 was too few. They ended up agreeing on a guest list of 20 and Wei Ying was convinced to invite the Jiang's only because it would be hilarious to see their faces. (Except for Yanli's. She was always sweet, he couldn't imagine she'd be anything but thrilled to see Wei Ying marry Lan Zhan.
—
"Why would this Yanli person be thrilled?" Dad number one asks.
"Because she cares about me and I've been in love with Lan Zhan for like, ever." Are these people even paying attention?
"Wait. You admit you're in love with him?"
"Yeah. Wasn't it obvious?"
"To us, yeah. We just didn't know if you knew."
"Course I did. Lan Zhan's perfect. He's everything I could want in a husband. Beautiful, calm, patient, a great listener, hot as fuck, responsible, and he never tickles."
"So why weren't you already dating him, again?"
Wei Ying chuckles. "Can you imagine? Someone like Lan Zhan dating someone like me? That'd be like if the mutt that lived in the alley knocked up someone's pedigreed poodle."
He continues the story despite several loud exasperated groans.
—
The party was way nicer than it had any right to be. Lan Zhan rented a room at a hotel in the heart of the city and the event planner took care of everything. All they had to do was show up and look in love.
Wei Ying didn't really have to act, but Lan Zhan was brilliant. He was never a step or two out of reach, and though Wei Ying felt a little out of his depth with the fancy attire and sophisticated string music, Lan Zhan whispered sarcastic quips in his ear the entire night that kept him grounded.
There were even toasts, which Wei Ying thought might be pushing the envelope a little bit. Either Lan Zhan's family was in on the bit, or the were frothing at the bit to marry him off. The speeches were heartfelt and funny, and by the end of the night Wei Ying felt more than a little guilty at the extravagance.
After, when he admitted as such to Lan Zhan, he quickly assuaged his misgivings. "Our company partners for events all the time, Wei Ying. They were more than happy to use the event as training for their new employees. We received a very reasonable price and everyone enjoyed themselves."
"Oh," Wei Ying replied. The guilt was gone, replaced by disappointment. There were moments that night it almost felt real, but it seemed Lan Zhan hadn't lost sight of things. It was still a bit, and now the ball was in his court.
—
"What'd I miss?" The woman to his right asks, stepping back in from outside with the tendrils of cigarette smoke still clinging to her.
"They just had an engagement party," one of the dads offers. "Fancy hotel downtown. There were speeches."
"You've got to be fucking kidding me," she deadpans.
—
Engagement parties are hard to top, so Wei Ying decides to roll up his sleeves and put in some work. That plan fails miserably when he sees everything that goes into wedding planning. No wonder it's a trillion dollar industry! Just skimming over everything overwhelms him, and Lan Zhan finds him red eyed and frazzle haired, staring helplessly at the computer.
"It's so much. Look, Lan Zhan! We have to decide everything! Who to invite, where to have it, what to serve, what to wear, what they should wear, what flowers to decorate with, where everyone's going to stay, who's going to take pictures, if we want it video taped, wedding showers, bachelor parties, a website! Some people have websites, Lan Zhan! You know how I feel about my digital footprint!"
Lan Zhan slowly closed the laptop lid, placing it out of sight and Wei Ying instantly felt a thousand times better.
"You're getting ahead of yourself, Wei Ying." Lan Zhan reached for his hands and held them tightly. "One thing at a time, mmh?"
Wei Ying agreed, if only for the reason that getting stressed out wedding planning seemed a legitimate escalation of the bit, even if no progress had been made.
"Right. Rome wasn't married in a day." And then he floofed dramatically into Lan Zhan's lap, where he was comforted with head scritches for a luxuriously long time.
In truth, his breakdown was a weak escalation. Lan Zhan's engagement party should have been bit-ending, both by scale and cost (no matter how much of a deal he got, Wei Ying knew it wasn't cheap.) He needed something much more grand to get back on top. And when Lan Zhan had grabbed his hand, the perfect idea struck him.
It required planning, of course. He didn't know Lan Zhan's ring size, so he had to sneak into his room at night, long after he was sure to be asleep, with a length of ribbon he could easily hide if Lan Zhan woke up.
Lan Zhan had always been a deep sleeper, and he expected to be in and out without notice. He hadn't anticipated Lan Zhan sleeping in the very middle of the king sized bed, meaning Wei Ying would have to climb in beside him to accomplish his mission. The only saving grace is that his right hand was tucked under the pillow leaving his left exposed. He shudders to think what he'd have had to have done if it the case were reversed.
Lan Zhan twitched the moment his weight presses down on the mattress, but it must have been a coincidence because his soft little snores continued unabated. For good measure, he counted to ten before reaching for Lan Zhan's hand. Not the whole thing, just the finger, which he lifted up gently to set the ribbon under.
It was magnificent. In one fell swoop he had the ribbon wrapped and marked with Lan Zhan none the wiser. In a few days time he'd come home and Wei Ying would be waiting for him with a candle lit dinner and a dramatic exchanging of the rings. With enough candles, he'd surely upstage the dinner and Lan Zhan would have no choice but to throw in the towel.
That was awake Lan Zhan, though. Sleeping Lan Zhan had vastly different goals, including grabbing Wei Ying and pulling him close to his chest, and nuzzling into his neck. Within seconds, he found himself trapped with no escape. Lan Zhan was still asleep, but his body was dead set into absorbing Wei Ying whole.
Sleeping Lan Zhan was far less of a human than he was one of those finger trap toys he used to play with as a child because every time Wei Ying wiggled for freedom, he found himself being sucked even closer to the man's body.
If it wasn't nice and warm and everything he'd ever dreamed of, he'd have had a serious complaint in the morning.
Not that it would have mattered anyway, because he woke up alone.
There was only one thing to do when one had been caught climbing into one's best friend's (maybe fiance's) bed uninvited and sleeping there until the morning.
Double down.
Lan Zhan stood with his back to him at the stove as he patiently waited to flip soysages. He hasn't heard him over the sizzling of the fake meat, so he flinched slightly when Wei Ying's arms wrapped low around his hips.
"Morning cutie," Wei Ying whispered, planting a soft kiss high on his cheekbone. He was quiet a moment, two three four moments, and then on the fifth beat:
"Good morning, beautiful."
Now, Wei Ying was no stranger to being called beautiful. Hell, he called himself that enough. Wen Qing did as well, though always condescendingly. Huaisang said it a time or two with resentment. In any case, it shouldn't have made him feel all weak in the knees.
It did. And if it weren't for the fact that he'd affixed himself to Lan Zhan's back, he might have just sunk to the floor.
Good morning, beautiful.
He wanted to hear it again. Lan Zhan wasn't a toy with a string though, he was a living breathing human being and it probably wouldn't be fair to force him to say the same three words over and over and over again until Wei Ying had his fill.
Anyway, it doesn't seem that Lan Zhan's going to mention the sleeping thing at all, so Wei Ying gets to work setting the table and pouring them each their morning drink of choice. Coffee blacker than his soul for Wei Ying, and green tea for Lan Zhan. It was their weekend tradition to breakfast this way, dating back to the morning after the party where Wei Ying declared himself Lan Zhan's roommate. Lan Zhan would cook, Wei Ying would beverage, and after they would plan their day.
—
"Oh come the fuck on!" Dad number three, a little toasty now, groans loudly.
—
Their perfect weekend hobby, he was saying.
Only, Lan Zhan hadn't been effortlessly dissuaded from referencing last night's sleeping arrangements. Once his meal had finished, he pushed his plate away and rested his chin on his hands quite casually.
"What should we do with the spare room? I'd considered an office slash reading area, but I could also see a studio going in."
"Heh?"
"We've got time, I guess. My brother will be here later with Mingjue to pick up the bed. They're adding a guest room for the nanny, and the size is perfect. Just make sure the sheets are taken off by noon."
Then he rose, brought their dishes to the sink and quietly washed them, like it was a normal fucking Sunday morning and he hadn't just informed Wei Ying that, from this moment forward, they'd be sleeping together every night.
—
"So you see what I'm working with guys, right? Like, I commit to the bit, but Lan Zhan mates the bit. I was completely out of my depth."
Viola, the smoker, speaks up once the cacophony of voices settle down. "Are you sure that Lan Zhan knew it was a bit? Did you ever consider he might want to actually marry you?"
"Well, yeah, of course I did. That would have been the best. But, no. It definitely was for the bit. I checked."
"You checked?" Dad number two asks. Wei Ying makes a gesture to the bartender because Dad number two looks like he's getting a little too sloshy. A tall glass of water is set down soon after and Wei Ying continues.
—
Lan Zhan was up quite a bit, not that Wei Ying was keeping score. Okay, he was keeping score. The engagement party, the good morning, beautiful, the sharing of the bed— when it was added all up, all Wei Ying really had was initiating the bit to begin with. Now Lan Zhan's left him in the dust and he's got to get even.
The rings might not be enough to get him there anymore, but it was a good start. He went alone because his friends were already asking too many questions— like are you fucking insane and why are you guys torturing each other like this and wait are you actually getting married?!— and he didn't want to be distracted when he made the most important purchase of— the bit.
His first outing was fruitless, and his second and third. Two weeks went by, both online and in store, browsing every manner of metal band before he found one that would compliment Lan Zhan's beauty. The band was gunmetal gray inset with yellow sapphires, and it was the only thing he'd found pretty enough to grace Lan Zhan's finger.
Except, the ring wasn't for sale. It was adorning an older man standing in line for pastries, and the glint had caught Wei Ying's eye as he swiped his card to pay.
"Your ring!"
The man had been mildly surprised when Wei Ying grabbed his hand, but relaxed when he realized he wasn't being robbed.
"It's brilliant! It's perfect! Sir, please tell me where you got this!"
The man didn't tell him, not immediately. He invited Wei Ying to his table and they had breakfast together. He wanted to know who Wei Ying had in mind for such a piece of jewelry, and Wei Ying told him the entire story. The bit with Lan Zhan, the engagement party, the sleeping arrangements, and how desperate he was to even things out.
He asked a lot more questions after that. How long had Wei Ying been in love— since about five minutes after learning Lan Zhan's name— and what he loved about Lan Zhan — a list so long his coffee had grown tepid by its end.
"You can't have this ring, my friend. But, I can get you one similar." The man took Wei Ying's phone number and his piece of string with a rather pleased smile, as he'd used that method once himself, a very long time ago.
Three weeks later he got the call, and the ring turned out even more beautiful than he'd hoped and at an incredibly reasonable price. The only stipulation was that Wei Ying would have to return it if the wedding didn't happen, but he thought the provision was fair considering he'd been completely honest with the entire situation from the get go. (Why the man was helping him, he'd yet to figure out.)
(That's not entirely accurate. He did ask, and the man explained he was a hopeless romantic. It was a pretty good explanation, considering the romance was pretty hopeless.)
With the money he saved on the ring, Wei Ying invested in candles. Tall ones, short ones, big and fat ones. It took forever to set them up, and even longer to light them— which, he'd had to organize with some of Lan Zhan's coworkers to get the exact time of his departure from work and still barely had lit the last one before he heard the jingle of keys in the hallway.
When he came in, Wei Ying was in a suit and on one knee. He rarely had occasion to wear one, but he just couldn't see pulling this off in skinny jeans. Besides, someone like Lan Zhan deserved the whole nine yards for his first proposal, even if for a bit.
Lan Zhan cried.
Not bawled, by any means, it was a bit proposal of course. But his eyes watered and he wiped them as he approached, forgetting to set his briefcase down and remove his shoes before Wei Ying reminded him.
But then he was there, standing in front of Wei Ying, with just a little bit of a tremor in his hand when Wei Ying reached for it.
"What do you say, sweetheart? Make it official?" For some reason, the words were hard to say. It felt like there was a frog in his throat, making the words sound all warbled. Lan Zhan must have felt the same because instead of answering verbally, he just nodded his head and bit his lip as Wei Ying slid on the ring.
And then he examined the ring. His eyes grew impossibly big, and he pulled it off to look inside the band.
"This is a Xiao Xingchen. Wei Ying, how did you get this?!"
—
"HOLD THE PHONE!" Drunk Dad number 4 bellows, and where did he come from? Wei Ying could have sworn there were only three before. "The old man, in the cafe, that was Xiao Xingchen?!"
Wei Ying shakes his head. "No, his name was Song Lan."
"You're fucking kidding me. I tried for a year to get on his waiting list. On his waiting list. Not even on the books. And you got a ring for a fake proposal?"
"Hey, simmer down," Viola barks. "It was a real proposal! No one lights that many candles if it ain't real. Get back to your story, pumpkin."
—
Anyway, after explaining how he'd found the ring on Song Lan a month prior, Lan Zhan slipped it happily back on his finger. Wei Ying figured they were kind of even now, what with all the candles he lit. The mental math seemed to check out, so all he needed to focus on was a grand gesture to seal the deal and get Lan Zhan to admit defeat.
Instead, Lan Zhan kissed him.
Right on the lips.
Hard.
He'd been kissed before, by both men and women alike. He enjoyed it; who doesn't? A little smooch here or there, sometimes some heavy petting attached, and Wei Ying's a happy camper.
He'd never been kissed like that before. Lan Zhan's hand moved to cradle his face like he was something precious. His lips lingered on his a moment, and he welcomed the brief pause Lan Zhan gave him for his mind to catch up to what was happening, but once Lan Zhan heard the little whimper escape him, it was over.
He ravaged him so completely and so thoroughly, Wei Ying was left dazed and breathless, clinging to Lan Zhan for dear life. He felt so light, he thought his feet might leave the floor. And then he kissed him again, even harder, tasting and nibbling and sucking until Wei Ying completely submitted to the assault, and then his feet did leave the floor because Lan Zhan had picked him up and carried him to the couch.
"What are your thoughts on sex before marriage?" he asked into Wei Ying's ear, voice low and husky.
"I'm its biggest fan," Wei Ying tears his mouth away long enough to answer.
—
"Alright, alright, let's hold some phones now. You guys started fucking?"
"This doesn't sound unrequited at all. He cried during the proposal, and made love to him in a candle lit room after. I was on the fence, but I'm switching to team not a bit."
Wei Ying glares at the bartender. "You're supposed to stay neutral, as the professional dispensing our drinks."
"Sorry buddy. Dude's in love with you."
"No, I know it sounds like it. And trust me, after that night, I really started to think so, too."
—
Anyway, with sex on the table, the bit became a lot more interesting. Wei Ying had no idea what a rabid sex drive Lan Zhan possessed as he never exposed him to any of the men he'd ever dated. As it turned out, Lan Zhan was a beast in bed.
Wei Ying had experience, but it soon became clear they were operating at two different levels. So, Lan Zhan took it upon himself to enlighten Wei Ying to certain things he'd missed during his sexual exploration. Like the pleasures of taking a dick up the ass. Apparently, Wei Ying was a bottom.
And not just any bottom, but a needy bottom, as Lan Zhan often teased him. "But don't worry, I rather like it."
The bit got sidelined for a while. Just a month or two, until Wei Ying woke up sore and satisfied one morning and realized there were only six months left.
And Lan Zhan was nowhere near admitting defeat. In fact, he appeared (to the untrained eye) (and also the trained one) to be winning. Though, on some occasions, the bit seemed to be the last thing from Lan Zhan's mind—
The nights where he fucked him long and slow, driving Wei Ying to a blabbering mess, collecting all the nonsensical things he said like trophies as he rocked in and out of him, grinding into his prostate and daring Wei Ying to come untouched.
Those nights, Wei Ying thought maybe this might mean something more to him, too. Especially when one of those trophies he collected was Wei Ying's confession of love, and his eyes seemed to almost glow at hearing it.
With six months left, he needed to get the ball rolling again. The sex break was nice, but it was past time to get back to work.
He scheduled a photo session with Mian Mian on a Saturday he'd told Lan Zhan to leave open, and they had their engagement photos in the park. (They needed a nice photo for the invitations, which was next on his list. Surely, Lan Zhan would buckle when he saw things in black and white.)
—
"You have pictures? We gotta see." Viola tugged at his sleeve while the four drunk dads joined their voices in chorus.
"Show us! Show us!"
He'd rather not, because looking at them now kind of hurts, but it's rude to tell the story and keep the visual aids private. With a sigh, he pulls out his phone and opens up the folder to flip through.
The bar goes quiet, and he realizes there's a crowd formed around him. Apparently more than the left and right had been listening. Everyone takes a look, and the reactions are all pretty much the same.
"He's fucking gorgeous."
Well, yeah. Wei Ying told them that. He supposes he undersold Lan Zhan.
"If anyone looked at me like that, I'd leave my wife for them," Drunk dad number four sighs.
He guesses he can see the sentiment. But they were trying to look like they were in love. Okay, so Wei Ying didn't have to try. Hasn't he already established Lan Zhan's acting chops?
"I get it. A guy that looks like that? He'd turn me stupid, too," Viola says in unironic sympathy.
—
Anyway, the photos turn out pretty damn nice, and when Wei Ying drops a mock up of their wedding invitation into Lan Zhan's lap, he's fully expecting an "okay, you got me" sigh.
But Lan Zhan wasn't ready to throw in the towel just yet. Wei Ying didn't get to take a victory lap that weekend. No, he spent both days touring venues to find the perfect place to exchange their vows.
Lan Zhan had an extremely detailed list of places that had availability, but because they were organized by locations Wei Ying was most likely to love, nothing ever captured the magic of the first place they toured. It was an older farmhouse set on a lake, and Lan Zhan said if they had the ceremony at sunrise, it would reflect off the water beautifully.
There was a small building off to the side where they could hold the reception, with big windows that opened to let the breeze through. He had every inch mapped out, and his vision was perfect.
It stuck in his mind, and after the second day Lan Zhan told him they no longer had to look. It was clear where Wei Ying's heart lay, and they put the deposit down that night.
He cried this time, that night in bed. Lan Zhan held him and he said they were happy tears. They weren't. Because standing there, imagining their friends and family around them, A-Yuan bearing the rings and A-Qing tossing the flowers, and Lan Zhan holding his hands as they exchanged their vows, well, Wei Ying realized something.
He was in love. Not the love he thought he'd been in, which was the natural infatuation of his gorgeous best friend, but love love. Love that hurts the heart to think about. Love that makes goodbye a fear. Love that grew too big to deal with on his own so now Lan Zhan has to help him with it, only…
They're not actually getting married, is the thing.
They were acting like it though, and things moved ahead but Wei Ying's heart grew suspicious. It wanted walls up. It wanted a way to protect itself from the inevitable fallout of the schemes made by Wei Ying's brain and pride.
And so, two months before their wedding date, and one month before this very night, Wei Ying approached Lan Zhan after work because his heart demanded things. And that thing was knowing whether or not it was about to be ripped out of his chest in a couple of months when Lan Zhan informed him that they weren't actually getting married.
"So you know how all of this is a bit?"
"A what?" Lan Zhan asked, tilting his head in confusion.
"A bit. Like the whole getting married thing. We played that game and you said you'd marry me, and I accepted and we just kept going with it?"
Lan Zhan's face looked…not good. "Wei Ying, are you telling me, this entire time, our engagement was a joke to you?"
"No! Not a joke! I just thought we were pretending."
Lan Zhan turned away. There was a shake to his shoulders, but he stood otherwise still. "I think you should leave."
—
"Okay, I'm inclined to call it. You're the asshole. You broke his heart!" Dad number 2 yells, and a chorus of voices agree with him.
"Keep listening. I'm not done yet."
—
Wei Ying left for about an hour, but he didn't have anywhere to go. All of his things were back at Lan Zhan's, and he'd need to at least pack a bag of essentials if he were getting kicked out.
But when he walked back in, Lan Zhan was cooking and listening to music, stopping to pour him a glass of wine upon seeing he'd returned.
"What's this?"
"Dinner. And wine."
"Why are you cooking me and plying me with alcohol?" Wei Ying asked, heart thumping.
"Why wouldn't I?" To his credit, Lan Zhan looked genuinely confused.
"Because you just told me to get out," Wei Ying explained, slowly.
"Right. That was part of the bit. Which is over now, so… dinner."
Lan Zhan plated their meals and they ate together, just like always, only Wei Ying's heart was crushed and bleeding and confused while Lan Zhan looked completely unphased.
"So, the whole time, you knew it was a bit." Wei Ying asked later, as they watched a rerun of one of his baking shows.
Lan Zhan pauses it to answer. "Was I mistaken?"
"You got rid of the bed."
"Brother's bringing it by tomorrow. Your welcome to share with me tonight, or I can sleep on the couch if you prefer."
"Yeah, um, actually I'd rather take the couch. It's cooler in here. You know I get really hot at night."
Lan Zhan's face flickered with something, but it was gone too fast for Wei Ying to register.
And, just like that, things went back to normal. Wei Ying got his bed back, and they stopped sleeping together and all that it entailed. No more orgasms, no more good morning, beautifuls, and no more talk of weddings.
And Wei Ying was fine. He'd known it was a bit. He'd known how competitive Lan Zhan could get. So his heart got a little trampled? So he'd let himself believe it for a hot minute. He'd be okay.
But when he got home this morning, Lan Zhan's ring was sitting on the counter to be returned and Wei Ying lost it. All the feelings he'd denied came back at once, ripping through him and leaving him bleeding. He'd have to return the ring to that sweet old man and he'd know. He'd know that Wei Ying hadn't been able to make love happen.
—
"And then I came here," he sniffs, a tear sliding down his chin and rippling in the stale waters of his untouched glass.
"So, the whole time, he really thought it was a bit?" Viola asks, gently, and in disbelief.
"I mean, yeah? I thought maybe we were saying it was a bit, but that we both actually wouldn't mind getting married to each other because he's super fucking hot and makes killer pancakes. And I'd keep him safe, you know. Protect him from all the world's evils because he's really too good for this universe. But, no. The whole time, it was just a bit."
"Or, maybe he didn't want to lose you as a friend, freaked out when you actually left, and pretended everything was normal when you came back because he couldn't bear the thought of losing you," a newcomer from the back suggests. A newcomer with a very familiar voice.
Everyone in the bar turns to see who spoke. Everyone in the bar gasps together. Except Wei Ying, his gasp doesn't come. It's buried under a sob and if he makes any noise at all, it'll be extremely unflattering.
He bites his lip instead.
"Lan Zhan."
"Wei Ying."
He rises unsteadily and there's either a swarm of butterflies in his stomach or a fish flopping around helplessly. It feels like more the latter, but that's hardly romantic.
"How long have you uh, how long have you been here?"
"I followed you when you stormed out."
"And you didn't say anything?! And none of you said anything?! Are you in cahoots?!"
"We didn't know until you showed us the picture," the bartender explains. "Then it was better to just let you finish."
"Okay, you are ALL the assholes. And I'm not having this conversation with a crowd, so, Lan Zhan, please escort me outside so that we may talk in private."
The crowd boos, but Lan Zhan's death glare silences them pretty quickly.
—
The December night would have sobered him up had he ingested more than a third pint of beer. Without alcohol in his system, it's a little too chilly. Before he can complain, Lan Zhan's scarf is being wrapped around his neck and Wei Ying decides that he'll stay in the cold forever if it means having Lan Zhan's scent right beneath his nose.
"I'm sorry, Wei Ying."
The admission takes him off guard. "What could you possibly be sorry for? We never quite settled things, but I'm pretty sure everyone in there thinks I'm the asshole now that you showed up."
Lan Zhan sighs and tugs him close. "I know you hide your true feelings behind humor. I took advantage of that."
"What do you mean, hide my true feelings behind humor?" He definitely doesn't do that!
"Like when you told everyone you were bisexual as a bit before coming out of the closet. Or when you couldn't afford the rent increase for your apartment, so you moved into mine. Your adoptive family made you feel like you couldn't just ask for the things you wanted, so you jump through hoops to get what you need."
Okay, maybe he does do that.
"And when you came to me a few weeks ago," Lan Zhan continues, "and made mention of the elephant in the room, I panicked. I think I thought if I kept it going long enough, you might just be stubborn enough to marry me."
"You really wanted to marry me?"
Lan Zhan laughs. "Since I met you. You told everyone I took a long time to come around, but that's only because I was so nervous around you. Wei Ying, the last year of my life has been the happiest I've ever been. When I woke up with you in my arms the first morning, I thought I'd died and gone to heaven. Do you understand?"
Wei Ying thinks he does, but he doesn't want to assume anything. Even when it's staring him in the face with a big flashing arrow. "No. Tell me."
"I love you, Wei Ying. I've loved you since high school. I will love you forever. And I didn't take the ring off to give it back. I didn't take the ring back at all. The ring on the counter is yours."
Wei Ying's eyes fly to Lan Zhan's hand and sure enough, his ring is still there. It's beautiful and gold and shiny, and now it's wavy with tears.
Lan Zhan reaches into his pocket and pulls out the one he'd left on the counter. "If you'd looked inside, you'd see."
He does, but he has to wipe his eyes first. He does so laughing at himself, and it makes Lan Zhan chuckle as well. Once his eyes are dry enough, he squints enough to see the inscription. "May it last forever."
"Oh, oh fuck. Lan Zhan. You really want to marry me!"
"If you'll have me. I didn't cancel anything," Lan Zhan says. Then, a little more nervously, "Is it a yes?"
A loud cheer grabs his attention and he turns to see the entire bar crowded up against the window.
"Say yes you idiot!"
"Don't be an asshole Wei Ying!"
"Yes! Yes! Yes!"
They're ridiculous, all of them, these lonely hearts that have kept his company. He winks at the window and screams his answer to them, the night, and the man he loves.
"Yes! I'll marry you!"
At least he tries to say the last part. It's muffled by Lan Zhan's kiss, deep and possessive and the only thing he ever wants to feel against his own for the rest of his beautiful days.
—
Lan Zhan was right, by the way. The sunset reflected beautifully off the lake that chilly New Years Day.