Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

February 1976

It’s like a plague that fills her mind, choking her until she’s gasping for air, memories of a time she can barely remember whizzing to the forefront. Gosh, it was almost fourteen years ago now, but the memories of the summer she was thirteen linger like a bad smell. It’s been like this since she found out she was pregnant, the dreams she hasn’t had since her teenage years coming back with a strong vengeance. She shudders awake yet again, a pain humming on her right eyelid as her eyesight adjusts to the blurry darkness of the room.

It’s always the same. A clown, a boy she can barely remember who’s short, with neat dark hair and an incredible talent for the drums, her best friends Lilly, Will and a girl she can’t quite place but knows she felt affection for. And then there’s the poster, baring the face of a boy she does not know yet looks so much like her and Wentworth. Richie, he’s called, a name that’s familiar to her. As if her unborn child knows what she’s thinking about, she feels them kick, and she smiles a small smile before she rubs a gentle hand over the spot they’d kicked.

“What’s wrong?” Wentworth mumbles beside her, half asleep and blurry from the lack of glasses or contact lenses on her face. He blinks up at her, his eyesight also poor, and she just responds with,” I’m okay, go back to sleep.”

“I can feel you shaking, Mags.” He tells her and she lets out a sigh, lying back comfortably against the pillows once more. Wentworth turns so he’s curled up against her, and then he lifts up her pyjama shirt slightly and begins to draw shapes on her bump with his finger. He’s got that dopey grin on his face that he gets every single time he sees her, and Maggie truly wonders how she got so lucky.” Was it that dream again?”

He’s about as aware of her nightmares as he can be, which is saying that he knows practically nothing. He knows something happened when she was younger, and that she’s struggling to remember it; he knows that Will Hanlon was involved, and he and Jessica often talk about their aloof spouses with concern and love. He knows she sometimes zones out, that she goes quiet and gets in her own head, that her right eyelid twinges with phantom pains sometimes. He tries his best, truly he does, and that’s all she can ask of him. He loves her with his whole heart, and she loves him with hers, too.

Maggie just looks at him, feeling her heart burn with so much love, and he just blinks dopily at her before he’s grinning and sitting up. He grabs his glasses from the bedside table and slides them on his face before he’s grabbing some moisturiser. He slowly, and carefully, rolls her pyjama shirt up a little more so that it rests just at the top of her baby bump. Then, he puts the lotion onto his hands and gently begins to rub it into her skin. In true Wentworth Tozier fashion, he hums softly to a Beach Boys song, bobbing his head along as his hands slide over her skin. Maggie watches him with an amused smile. There’s no doubt in her mind that he’s going to be the best dad in the world.

As Maggie fiddles with her wedding rings, she thinks back to the day they met. Sophomore year of Highscool drama club, she’d joined with Lilly whilst Wentworth had joined because his best friend was on the track team and he needed something to do. They’d clicked right away, but it was the moment that Went told her his name that it sounded familiar. They started dating a year later, sixteen years old with their whole lives  ahead of them, and it’s truly felt like they were meant to be together.

“Holy shit, they kicked!” Wentworth gasps, lifting his hands off of his wife’s bump and then bringing his face down beside it, staring intently.” Maggie, my love, we’ve got one active baby!”

“Well yes, he’s your baby after all.” Maggie says and at the use of the word ‘he’ Went looks at her with a curious glint to his eye.

“He?” He asks. Maggie flushes and responds with,” it’s…it’s just a feeling.”

“Don’t you recognise your little boy?”

“Mother’s intuition.” Wentworth beams as he sits back up properly. He places a kiss atop Maggie’s bump before he takes his glasses back off and lies back down beside her.” You thought of any names? Because I’ve got a few and mom keeps reminding me that if we’ve got a boy we need to stick to Tozier tradition and give him my name as his middle name. I’m Wentworth Kenneth Tozier for a reason. I don’t know. It means something to her.”

“I’ve thought of a few.” Maggie admits.

“Then comes Richie in the baby carriage”

“You have?” He asks, looking at her curiously. Maggie gives him a small smile and nods.” Like what?”

A flash of a memory of a boy, who isn’t Wentworth, playing the drums crosses her mind, and she gets struck with an odd sense of grief muddled with childish puppy love. Without thinking, she answers with,” Rich…Richie. Richard. I like Richard.”

Wentworth sits in thought for a moment, like he’s rolling the name around in his head. His lips are pursed and Maggie takes a moment to peck him on the lips, and he smiles before he says,” Richard Wentworth Tozier. Yeah…yeah I like that. What if she’s a girl, though?”

“Lillian.” Maggie replies and Went grins tiredly at her.” After Lill. Middle name, I’m not sure, I think I like Veronica, maybe. What names have you thought about?”

“Margaret junior and Wentworth junior.” Went responds with that playful smirk on his face. Maggie just playfully rolls her eyes and laughs as he’s saying,” I’m kidding, Margie Wargie. I don’t know. I like Ellie for a girl. I really like Richard for a boy though, I think it’s nice. That name suits a baby that we made.”

“That sounds so gross when you say it like that.” Maggie laughs. Their small two bedroom apartment is never quiet because the pair are constantly making one another laugh. They also have a habit of speaking in stupid voices, something that Maggie used to get bullied for in school. She’s glad she’s found someone that she can be a little weird with. She’s glad she’s married a weirdo. Went grins and then kisses her temple before letting out a yawn.” We should go back to sleep, hm? You’ve got work tomorrow. Almost a qualified dentist, you need to rest that beautiful brain of yours.”

“You need to rest that beautiful face of yours.” Wentworth responds, nuzzling his nose into the side of Maggie’s neck, her hand coming up to entangle with his mess of curls.” Are you still meeting at Hanlon Farm tomorrow?”

“Yes, I’ll be sure to save some pie for you.” Maggie responds. She’s learnt that she has a passion for cooking and baking, and before she got pregnant, she was a chef at the local diner in town. She misses work a lot already, but she struggles to stand for long periods of time, so she’s thankful for the opportunity to only need to cook or bake when she wants to. Wentworth smiles up at her, he hates missing out on hanging with their friends.

Jessica Hanlon and Andrea Uris are both also pregnant (due in July, whilst Maggie’s about ready to pop), and the three of them are loving experiencing this together. Sonia Kaspbrak, the wife of Wentworth’s best friend Frank, has a three month old little boy named Edward who she brings along to their weekly get together. Sometimes Will, Frank and Donald participate; and on rare occasions where he doesn’t have work, Wentworth will join, too. They’ve all agreed to continue doing it after their babies are born, hoping that they’ll all be friends and grow up together.

The next morning, Wentworth makes them breakfast. He’s not the most confident chef, but he can cook up an edible meal, and Maggie happily eats her pastrami hash while the two make very loud conversation filled with so much laughter that it makes Maggie cry and her chest ache. The pair get ready for the day, and then Wentworth is driving Maggie over to the Hanlon Farm, Maggie sitting comfortably and listening to the radio play whilst she carries the cherry pie she’d made the night before in her arms as if it’s her own baby.

“Have fun without me.” Wentworth says with a pout and Maggie leans over and kisses his stupid mouth with a smile before she’s getting out of the car.

“Have fun at work my hot dentist!” She tells him before she’s closing the door, satisfied with the blush that rises on his cheeks as she heads to the door of the farmhouse. She knocks and waits patiently.

“My, you are just about ready to pop!” Tings out the voice of Charlotte Hanlon as she opens the door. Maggie smiles.” You had me that pie, sweetie. You head on in. You’ve got Donald and Will for company today, too!”

“Oh boy!” Maggie chuckles as she allowed Charlotte to take the pie. She steps inside the entrance hall to the house and shrugs off her coat, almost jumping out of her skin when Leroy makes his appearance known and takes her coat for her; hanging it up on the coat hook beside the door. Maggie slips off her shoes and then follows the pair to the conservatory.

Jessica and Will don’t live on the farm, they live on Harris Avenue, but Will works with his father on the farm and so most of their meets happen at the farmhouse. Maggie’s come to love this place like it’s her own home. She spent a lot of her teenage years here with Will and Lilly, glad to be free from her parents for a few hours longer. She hadn’t had the most stable home life, and she’s practically no contact with her parents. She pretty much moved in with the Tozier’s at seventeen and her parents didn’t give a shit about it. They hadn’t cared when she’d gotten married, and they certainly didn’t care that they were about to have a grandchild. At least Uncle Mike had her back, that was for certain!

“Marge!” Will cheers the moment Maggie walks into the room. He’s beaming at her and she’s overcome with affection for her best friend.

“Will!” She cheers back before he’s standing and wrapping her up in a hug. She chuckles and hugs him back as she hears him say,” oh my god you look like you could go into labour any day now!”

“I’m due in a week, isn’t that crazy?” Maggie breathes out as they pull away from one another’s embrace. She’s then pulled into a hug by Jessica, and then Andrea; and Donald gives her an awkward handshake. He’s always been slightly awkward, it made sense why he befriended Wentworth so quickly.” Andie, Jess, you’re both beginning to show, oh my god! The pregnancy glow looks good on you!”

“Thank you!” Andrea replies as Jessica blushes and says,” Wentworth’s such a lucky man, Margie. You suit pregnancy so well, you look so beautiful.”

“Will’s the luckiest man in the world.” Maggie tells her, playfully punching Will on the arm. He laughs and then the pair sit down.

Whilst the group talk all things baby, Leroy and Charlotte enter with herbal tea, sandwiches and the pie Maggie had made. They have a nice little afternoon tea, Donald somehow even quieter than he normally is. It’s nice to catch up with Leroy and Charlotte, too, and Maggie is so thankful for her friends. It hasn’t felt the same since Lilly left two years ago, and she fears she’s going to forget her the way she’s sure she has with others. Almost like the memory of that month in 1962 is slowly trying to erase from her mind. She hasn’t forgotten her, yet. She guesses it’s because they’d been best friends since first grade.

“This pie is to die for!” Andrea hums as she finishes off a second piece. Maggie flushes under her praise as Jessica adds,” honestly, Margie, you should open up a pie shop.”

“Oh, hush, I’m not that good!” Maggie chuckles as she turns bright red.

“I think we all beg to differ.” Will tells her, and Donald just smiles to her in agreement. Maggie smiles back at him in appreciation and continues to eat her little slice of pie.

Donald Uris had also had tragedy in his life, except he could remember his. He became aloof and quiet like Will and Maggie did, but it was more frequent. The Tozier’s and the Uris’ had become firm friends back in the late 60s, when Donald and Wentworth ended up working together at the grocery store while they were both in college. They were complete opposites, but Went had a charm meaning he could befriend people pretty easily. As Andrea, Will and Jessica fuss over a baby book, Maggie moves to sit beside Donald. She nudges his knee with her own and he looks up at her.

“Penny for your thoughts?” She asks and he chuckles lightly before he responds with,” I was thinking about Teddy.”

Theodore Uris, Donald’s younger brother, had died mysteriously that April of 1962, a month before his bar mitzvah. Donald had said something nasty to him the night before he’d vanished, and he’s regretted it every single day since. Donald shuffles uncomfortably as emotion crosses his face. He gulps it back before he says,” I just…what if I’m a shit father the same way I was a shit brother?”

“Don, don’t think like that.” Maggie tries to reassure him. She goes to rub his back but he shrugs her off.” Hey, you were a great brother-

“You didn’t know me back then.” Donald mumbles, voice sounding tearful.” He…he was clearly freaked out about something and I…I was so nasty toward him. There was a time when we were close, back when we were younger but…i was an asshole of a teenager.”

“I think we were all assholes when we were teenagers.” Maggie tells him and Donald goes to protest, but she just continues with,” I almost threw my best friend under the bus for popularity. I was a bitch!” She can’t remember much, but she remembers the Pattycakes. The popular girls who had seen her, not rich like them, and had taken pity on her and allowed her to join their group.

“Being a teenager sucks.” Donald sighs softly and Maggie smiles before she nods.

“I know I didn’t know you back then, but the you that I know now…he’s gonna be a great dad.” She tries to reassure him once more.

“God, Wentworth’s so lucky to have you!” Donald tells her and Maggie grins a little before she’s saying,” no, I’m lucky to have him. I don’t know what I’d do without him.”

“I don’t know what I’d do without either of you.” Donald tells her.” I’d probably be skinnier from not eating all of those pies you make.”

Maggie laughs loudly, and Donald just grins next to her; the other three looking over at them, incredibly confused. They rejoin the group, and conversation turns to the Kaspbrak’s and why they’re not here today. Little Eddie is apparently quite a sickly baby, and so Sonia had found it best to stay home, not wanting to spread illness amongst the pregnant women. They miss them, but they continue on into the afternoon. Charlotte’s prepared a lunch that they all happily eat, and they all fuss over things related to their future children. Like names and nursery colours and hoping that they’ll grow up being friends.

Maggie offers to help clean up after lunch, but Charlotte tells her to stay put and rest; she’s nine months pregnant after all. Maggie just grins and relaxes against the couch cushions, having a deep conversation with Jessica about morning sickness. All their lives revolve around now is pregnancy. She’s loved every minute, but Maggie kind of can’t wait to get this baby out of her now, it hurts to stand sometimes, and she always needs to pee.

“I had a weird dream last night.” Will admits when he and Maggie finally get a moment alone a few hours later. The Uris’ have gone home and Jessica is off talking with Charlotte. Maggie just glances to her best friend, unsure of what he’s going to say. They’re sat side by side on the couch, ice teas in hand.

“Mine are getting worse the closer I get to my due date.” Maggie responds and Will looks at her, a little worried.” It’s like…like my baby is doomed by something. I don’t know.”

“I keep dreaming of being trapped in a fire.” Will admits and this time, it’s Maggie’s turn to look at him with worry.” The only thing I remember from that year, really, was the fire at the black spot. I can’t remember much of anything else but…it haunts me.”

“Sometimes I still feel like I’m trapped in that box, knowing the person who saved me was dying beside me.” Maggie admits as the hazy memory surfaces in her mind.

“Let me out, please!”

“Marge! Listen to me!

“Let me out!”

“Marge”

“Let me out!”

“Remember what you said…about knights?”

“What?”

“Knights! Who sleep with something by the bed?”

“Yuh-yeah?”

“Well…we don’t just pee in pots. We also protect fair maidens.”

“Marge?” Will whispers softly as Maggie feels a few silent tears fall down her face. She can feel the phantom burning in her chest of the smoke that she inhaled, can feel that odd melancholic feeling she gets whenever she remembers his voice, but can’t think of a name or a face to put it too. She wipes her tears away silently.” Why can’t I remember him, Will? I can remember Lilly but…not him and not…not—

“I can’t remember her either.” Will tells her, and Maggie gently leans her head against his shoulder.” I can hear her in my dreams, can see a silhouette. But I don’t know what she looks like, and it’s the same for him, too. The boy who saved you.”

“I’m just sick of feeling so scared all of the time.” Maggie admits. She feels Will kiss her temple softly.

“Yeah, I am, too.” He states, wrapping an arm around her, the two sitting in their shared state of numbing silence. It’ll be over soon, they’ll cheer up in a minute, but for now they just wait for it to pass.

March 1976

36 hours of labour is something that Maggie Tozier was certain she never wants to do ever again. She survived a burning building and yet has never felt pain quite like childbirth in her life. Wentworth had been by her side, every step of the way. He’d held her hand, stroked her hair, kissed her forehead, and then sobbed when their little boy was finally brought into the world. Maggie had cried too, relief and joy and love filling her body as her little boy was placed into her arms.

Wentworth is asleep on his little pop up bed, but Maggie can’t sleep. She just keeps staring down at the baby in her arms, snoozing away without a care in the world. His skin is smooth to the touch, and he’s got dark curls that resemble his father’s, already. Maggie gently strokes his cheek and he hiccups in his sleep, which makes her smile.

Maggie’s felt love before, of course she has. For the boy she cannot remember, for her friends, for her husband. But she’s never felt love like this. This love is different, it’s stronger, it’s overpowering. This tiny little baby in her arms (he weighs nine pounds eight ounces and tore her vagina, he is not tiny in the slightest) is making her feel so many emotions at once that it’s hard to process. The most prominent one, though, is love. This is her baby, her little boy, hers and Wentworth’s; and she loves him so fiercely that she would kill to protect this child from how cruel the world can be.

Alongside love, however, is this odd sense of dread. Her dreams have been filled with a poster of a missing child; who looks like Wentworth but with some of her own features. Dark hair, big glasses, a smile that resembles her own.

Richie Tozier

13 years old

Last seen July 4th

Date of birth: March 7th 1976

Maggie stares blankly at the calendar on the wall of her hospital room. It’s 4:07am on the 7th of March, 1976, two hours after she gave birth. It also just so happens to be her husbands birthday. She looks down at her sleeping baby in her arms and that dread grows a little. Something is going to happen to her baby, something bad, she can sense it. But, before she can freak out, her baby wriggles in her arms and then begins to cry.

“It’s okay,  it’s okay, Richard, mama’s here. Don’t cry.” She coo’s softly, but he continues to wail in her arms.” What do you need, little one? Hmm? Are you hungry, is that it?”

She brings her baby to her breast, and he latches on instantly, gulping down milk hungrily. She still isn’t sure that she’s nursing him right, but he looks content as he eats, blue eyes already droopy and milk drunk. Maggie just grins and rubs his back gently as he eats, and she nods her head along to the soft music playing over the radio next to her bed. Wentworth’s snoring slightly, and Richard is gulping hungrily, and Maggie sits in a content silence with a smile on her face. But, that smile disappears the minute she hears those opening guitar strings.

I took my love, I took it down

Climbed a mountain and I turned around

Her breath hitches as tears spring to her eyes, and she tries to calm herself as Richard stops feeding. He needs to be burped, she knows that, but as the song continues on (Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love?

Can the child within my heart rise above?

Can I sail through the changin' ocean tides?

Can I handle the seasons of my life?

Mmm) she can’t help the sobs that escape her throat. It wakes Wentworth up, as Richard begins wailing loudly because he needs to be burped, and in an instant, her husband has scooped their son up in his arms and is burping him.

“Why’re you crying?” Wentworth asks his wife, as she scrubs harshly at her face, trying to rid of her tears.

She doesn’t know how to explain why. She can’t verbalise it. That she’s crying because she’s scared that something will happen to their boy, because she’s been having dreams of his face on a missing poster, that the fear she’s felt since she was thirteen will somehow be felt by their son. She’s petrified and she can’t explain to him why. Only Will would understand. Only Will could.

“I’m fine.” She sniffles, reaching out for their baby again once he lets out a loud burp. Went gently passes him back to her before he’s clambering into her hospital bed, wrapping her up in his arms.

“You know you can tell me anything, right?” He whispers in her ear before he places a soft kiss to her hair. A small tear escapes from her eye, and he wipes it away for her softly.

“I know. I’m just scared. This is all so new.” Maggie sniffs and Wentworth hums in agreement beside her before he’s saying,” I’m scared, too, but…he’s so perfect. I’ve never seen such a perfect little baby.”

“He looks like you.” Maggie chuckles and she looks to her husband to find him staring at her, brow furrowed.

“You think? I think he looks like you.” He states and then the two stare at their baby. He’s fast asleep again, not paying them any mind. The two tilt their heads as if they’re trying to look at him from a different angle, and then they both laugh loudly before they quiet down so they don’t wake their baby.

The next day, they have a whole bunch of visitors, wanting to coo at their little baby. Went’s parents stay for a while, fussing over their grandson and making sure that their son and daughter in law are okay. The Hanlon’s visit, and it’s a little odd to see Will holding onto her baby knowing that Lilly won’t get to meet him. She’s probably forgotten them all by now, like their other friend had that she can’t remember the name of. To both of their surprise, though, they aren’t expecting to see Frank Kaspbrak waltzing into the room; wife and baby free.

“I wanted to come and meet this little cutie.” Frank explains as he sits in the hospital chair, Richard asleep in his arms.” But Sonia didn’t think it would be wise to bring our four month old in case he passes his cold onto your baby. Can’t say I blame her, it’s probably wise. He’s coming to the end of his cold, though. He’ll be as right as rain soon, and then these two can hang out. Eddie can teach him how to do tummy time like a pro!”

“It was a cold? I thought he was deathly sick from the way she made it sound.” Maggie states and Frank snorts out a laugh before he’s responding with,” yeah, it’s just a cold. A normal cold. He’s fine, she just worries. New mom jitters and all that, I’m sure you can understand.”

“Yeah, I do.” Maggie responds, remembering that dread she’d felt in the night. Suddenly, she wants her baby in her arms, and she holds her arms out toward Frank. He smiles and stands up, carefully placing Richard back into her arms.

“He looks like Went.” He states and Maggie laughs as she nods, looking down at her sleeping baby. Wentworth is shaking his head in disagreement.” He looks exactly like you don’t even try and deny it, those eyes are a Tozier trait! His hair is exactly like yours, I’ve seen your baby photos!”

“Face shape is Mags, lips are Mags, nose is Mags. He’s got two similar features to me, that’s it!” Wentworth explains and Maggie just continues to laugh at their debate.

“I think he’s a perfect blend of us both.” She tells them, and the two men glance to one another before they look at baby Richard again. They nod in agreement.

September 1976

A teething baby is hell! For weeks, Richie’s been teething. He’s crying all the time, it’s making him sick, and his parents don’t really know what to do except ride it out.

Maggie’s woken up in the early hours of the morning to Wentworth sobbing while he tries to calm their screaming six month old. He’s softly trying to sing to him, because it usually soothes him, but it’s not working. It’s an odd sight to see a grown man stress singing Kokomo by The Beach Boys, and it takes everything in her to not laugh at the absurdity of it.

“Do you want me to nurse him?” Maggie asks with a yawn, and Wentworth jumps out of his skin at the sound of her voice. He turns to look at her, tears falling down his face, before he says,” Will it work?”

“He didn’t eat much of his puree at dinner and he barely had any milk before he went down for the night. He’s probably hungry.” Maggie responds and Went carefully heads back over to the bed. He sits down beside his wife and passes their son over to her. Richie’s face is all red and puffy, and he’s rubbing his left cheek in an attempt to soothe himself. The shoulder of Wentworth’s tshirt is covered in drool and he pulls it off and throws it in the direction of their laundry basket.

“I can’t wait for this teething business to be over.” Wentworth sniffles, rubbing at his eyes to rid of his tears. Maggie begins to nurse Richie, and he latches on instantly, tearful blue eyes looking up into hers.

“One of his eyes droops a little.” Maggie states, and Wentworth looks at her before he looks down at their son.

“He’s got a lazy eye like me.” Wentworth sighs.” We’ll have to take him to see a doctor, he’s gonna need glasses I think.”

Richie pulls away from his mother breast and begins to blubber again, more drool falling down his chin. Maggie sighs and looks at Went before she says,” could you grab him some medicine and the teething gel, please? He’s due another dosage.”

Wentworth grabs the medicine and the gel, and once they’ve given them to Richie, he feeds for a little moment longer. They burp him, and then Maggie tries to rock him back to sleep again whilst Wentworth sings, standing behind her and looking down at their son over her shoulder. Love thumps against Maggie’s chest and she turns her head to press a kiss against Went’s jaw. He grins happily.

It’s chaotic the next morning. They’re midway through packing as they’re moving into a bigger house; which is something they’ve been saving for for years. Thanks to Wentworth’s job, they’re able to live on the slightly wealthier side of town, and Maggie is glad that they won’t be raising Richie in the same conditions that she was raised in. She dodges boxes as she makes breakfast. Richie’s in a slightly better mood and he laughs in his high chair as he watches his dad dance around the kitchen, exhausted from the night before but trying to not let it show. He’s taken the day off because it’s not wise for him to be this tired on the job, and he’s thrilled because it’s a Hanlon farm day!

The farm house is loud on this particular day. Mike and Stanley are only two months old so their wake windows aren’t very long, but Richie and Eddie are at an age where they try and talk to one another. It’s just baby blabbering but it’s really cute to watch. Eddie’s sat on Sonia’s knee, making noises to Richie, who’s on the floor by his dad’s feet playing with some blocks and laughing at the noises that Eddie is making. Jessica is rocking a sleeping Mike in her arms, whilst Andrea is nursing Stanley. Maggie smiles as she looks at her friends and how much love the room holds.

“He sounds like he’s close to forming some words.” Wentworth tells Sonia, who beams brightly and responds with,” he can stand now, too. We’re trying to guess what he’ll do first…walk or talk.”

“Richie’s going to be talking before he’s walking, I think.” Maggie states, running a gentle hand through her son’s curls. He looks at her and smiles. She smiles back before he goes back to playing with his blocks.” He was up all night teething, how on earth did you deal with it with Eddie?”

“He’s still teething now but…the gel really helped. Also teething toys can help if you haven’t got any.” Sonia suggests and Maggie and Wentworth look at one another, sharing a look that says ‘we’re stupid’. The pair chuckle lightly and then Maggie stops her son from placing brick in his mouth.

“We’ve got a few for Mike when he’s older if you want one now?” Jessica asks and Maggie responds with,” if it’s no trouble.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, it’s fine.” She says with a smile before she’s heading off the Mike’s nursery, the baby in her arms not even fussing. God is Maggie jealous about that, Richie’s a fussy baby. She can barely sit and eat her food without him in her arms, let alone trying to go and use the toilet without him waiting to sit on her floor beside her. He’ll scream otherwise.

When Jessica reappears, there’s no Mike in her arms, meaning that he’s either in his bassinet or that Will or his grandparents have him. She’s got a little teething ring in hand and she kneels down in front of Richie, who stares up at her inquisitively. Jessica smiles and says,” hi Richie, I’ve got a little present for you. It’s going to help with your teeth.” Richie blabbers back to her before he’s taking the ring from her hand and instantly shoving it into his mouth, sucking on it. Eddie laughs and Richie looks at him, taking the ring out of his mouth and beaming brightly at the sound. Maggie and Wentworth smile.

Charlotte prepares a nice lunch for them all, and afterwards, Richie and Eddie both go down for a nap. Richie’s asleep against Wentworth’s shoulder, while Maggie has Eddie so that Sonia can finish off her lunch. She thanks her, and Maggie tells her not to worry. That she adores Eddie and will help out whenever she needs. Sonia smiles to her. Donald arrives at some point after lunch, and he has a moment with his son, just fussing over him and Maggie grins as she watches the pair. He looks like a natural parent already, looking at Stanley with so much love that it looks like it physically hurts him. Andrea beams up at her husband and he kisses her softly.

“Oh Jesus Christ.” Went laughs and Maggie looks at him as he peeks under Richie’s diaper. He scrunches his nose.” Oh wow that smells. Yep that’s my son. I will be right back! Come on, stinkabutt.”

“At least you’re self aware.” Maggie chuckles as Went heads off to the bathroom with their diaper bag. He laughs loudly before he disappears.

They do another round of pass the baby, and Maggie ends up with Stanley snoozing against her shoulder while Jessica has Eddie; leaving Sonia and Andrea baby free for a moment. Will returns with Mike in one arm, staring up at him, and Richie on his hip; giggling away. Maggie snaps a photo on her camera with a small smile and then she asks,” where’s my husband?”

“Caught up in a conversation with my dad about his job.” Will responds and he chuckles softly as Richie rests his head on his shoulder contently, not worrying about the drool falling out of the babies mouth and onto his t-shirt.

Eventually, Sonia does get her baby, and Eddie is back in his mother’s arms all of five minutes before his dad arrives. The moment he spots his dad, his whole face lights up, and he reaches his arms out for him with loud whines. Frank manages to grab ahold of his son before he wriggles out of his mother’s grasp, and he places a soft kiss to Eddie’s cheek before he’s greeting everyone with his kind smile. He looks tired but he tries not to show it. Will eventually passes Richie to Maggie, and Donald gets his hands back on Stan while Jessica gets Mike and begins to nurse him. Wentworth walks into the room with Leroy and Charlotte, and he immediately begins annoying Frank. Frank just laughs, used to his best friend’s antics.

October 1976

Patch therapy is what they’d recommended for Richie, along with infant glasses that are held around his head via a strap. He hates wearing his glasses, and so Maggie isn’t sure how he’s going to like doing his patch therapy. He’s only seven months old. Wentworth also had to do it as a young child, as they both have something called amblyopia, which is a lazy eye. Richie stares at his mother as she puts the eye patch over his stronger eye, and then he whines as she puts his glasses on him. He’s got eyesight worse than her, somehow! The prescription makes his eyes huge and it’s super cute. He’s her little bug eyed baby and she loves him so much.

“You need to wear it, Richie.” She tells him and he frowns.” It’ll make your weak eye stronger, sweet boy.” He continues to frown.” Look, you like to watch that new show The Muppets, and your glasses will help you see the TV!” He still frowns, eye patch firmly over his eye. She grins.” Aww look at you, my little pirate!”

“I’ve always wanted to be a pirate…look at us, a pirate and a knight”

“Looks like we’ve got next Halloween all figured out, huh?”

“It’s a date!”

Richie giggles at his mother’s words before he’s staring at The Muppets Show on the TV. This odd sense of melancholy hits Maggie all at once, and it’s dizzying. It’s been a while since a foggy memory hit her and she has that dread bubble in her throat as she looks at her son, who’s sucking on his hand and enjoying his TV show. She shudders like someone has walked over her grave, and then the feelings pass as she hears Richie laugh at Fozzie on the television screen.

January 1977

Maggie’s making dinner when he first says it. For two months, Went’s been trying to get Richie to say dada as Eddie had said it just after his first birthday. Richie had seemed on the brink of talking, and so Wentworth was determined to make his first word dada. He’s at work, however, when Richie actually speaks.

He’s sat on the kitchen floor playing with some wooden cars whilst his mother prepares dinner. The radio is on, Walk Like A Man by Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons is humming around the room; and Richie looks up at his mother and goes,” mama!”

Maggie freezes, unsure of what she’s heard, and then she rushes to turn off the radio. She turns to her son, who just blinks his big blue eyes up at her, and she asks,” what did you say?” He doesn’t respond. He just blinks at her again with a small smile on his face.” Richie…what did you say? Can you say it again?”

“Mama!” Richie giggles and tears instantly flood Maggie’s eyes as she scoops him up in her arms. He clings onto her.” Mama! Mama! Mama! Mmmmm mmmm mmamamamamama!”

Wentworth cries when he gets home and Maggie tells him. He’s a little upset that he missed his sons first words, but he’s so unbelievably proud of him that the pair just stand in an embrace and cry for a little while until Richie’s whining because he’s hungry.

February 1977

They’re sat watching TV when Richie hits his next milestone. He’s been pulling himself up onto his feet via the couch for weeks, and he’s been very active on his walker. They aren’t expecting it to happen tonight, but the pair ignore what they’re watching on the screen and turn to watch their son as he pulls himself up. He looks to his parents, smiles, and then turns, his foot hovering off of the ground. Wentworth grabs his camera and Maggie is out of her seat and kneeling a few paces in front of him. Richie just stares at her. Maggie stares back.

“Come on, baby. Come to mama!” She encourages him, and Wentworth begins to record on their family camera.

“This is Richard Tozier, eleven months old, about to take his first steps!” He says in an old British voice like he’s presenting a documentary. Maggie laughs.” It’s one small step for a baby, but it’s one giant leap for Tozier kind!”

Richie giggles, though he has no idea what his father is saying, and it makes him a little wobbly. He grabs ahold of the edge of the couch and then looks to his mom again, a small smile on his face. She smiles back and says,” come on, sweetheart. You can do it! I know you can!”

Hesitantly, he places his foot down in front of him, before he’s moving the second one. He’s a little wobbly, and Maggie opens her arms out in front of her as he makes his way over to her on shaky legs. The pair are watching their son with tears in their eyes and the moment he makes it to Maggie, she wraps him up in her arms and stands up, cheering loudly. Wentworth stops filming and joins in, the pair jumping up and down and cheering for their son, who laughs loudly as his curls bounce up and down too.

March 1977

There’s not much Muppets merchandise, but it’s what Richie wants for his birthday party. Their backyard is decorated with handmade Muppets banners that Andrea had spent the whole week preparing. Maggie and Wentworth are forever grateful to her. Maggie’s made a Kermit the Frog cake, because he’s Richie’s favourite, and she’d been incredibly proud of it. She just hopes he likes it.

It’s emotional celebrating your babies first birthday, and she and Wentworth had already cried a tonne just this morning alone. They watch as their son waddles around hand in hand with Eddie Kaspbrak, who’s babbling away to him. Richie babbles back, like he completely understands what Eddie’s saying. It’s like they’re speaking their own language.

Mike is currently crawling around on the floor after Richie and Eddie, whilst Stanley is content in Donald’s arms, looking like his mini me, their curls sitting in the exact same way. Maggie grins and then grabs everyone’s attention so that they can start unwrapping Richie’s gifts. She sits her son down on her lap and Wentworth goes to his little gift table.

The Kaspbrak’s have gotten him some toy cars to add to his collection. The Hanlon’s have hand knitted him a Kermit sweater that makes him gasp so loudly and beam with excitement. The Uris’, as practical as ever, have brought him some new clothes and a few more teething toys. Wentworth’s parents have gotten him some new books, and then he unwraps his gift from his mom and dad. He tears into the paper and giggles when he holds onto the Kermit plushie. It’s an original from the 50s, it was originally a hand puppet, but Wentworth’s mom had added some stuffing to the stomach and sewn on some legs. Richie grins and hugs it tightly. Maggie tears up at how happy he is and she looks to Wentworth, who looks tearful as well.

Kermit stays firmly in Richie’s arms for the rest of the day. He’s there when he blows out the candles on his cake (which he loves), and he makes Kermit applaud when Wentworth blows out his own candles. He’s there when his friends leave. He’s there when they eat dinner, and Richie refuses to let go of him come bed time. He shrieks when Wentworth tries to take him off of him because he’s not meant to have plushies in his crib with him yet. He just shrieks and shrieks and eventually Wentworth gives up, allowing him to have his Kermit.

“Happy birthday, baby. Have sweet dreams!” Maggie says, tucking him in and kissing him on his forehead. Went turns his nightlight on, and Maggie turns off his main light. They’re hoping he sleeps through the night and doesn’t need to sleep in their bed with them.

Usually, they lounge on the couch for an hour before they tidy up the house from the mess of the day. Tonight, however, the pair immediately collapse into bed, exhausted. Maggie’s half asleep when the baby monitor alerts her that Richie’s crying, and Wentworth goes to get up to get their son, but Maggie tells him that she’s on it. She slowly walks down the hall, opens up Richie’s door and carefully picks him up out of his crib. He nuzzles his nose against her neck as she heads back to her own room. Wentworth is dead asleep by the time she returns; and she slowly clambers into bed, laying Richie in between them. His small hand curls around her finger and she falls asleep feeling incredibly safe and secure.

“Beep Beep, Margie!”

She shudders awake to find Richie’s foot in her face. He’s stretched out, head on Went’s chest, fist in Went’s face and feet in his mother’s. Maggie calms her breathing down and slowly picks her son up. He fusses a little but he soon calms down when she places him onto her chest, thumb going into his mouth. She kisses the top of her head and tries to focus on calming herself, rubbing soothing circles onto her son’s back. She truly thought the nightmares were over.

May 1978

The soft tune to The Supremes You Can’t Hurry Love is what rouses Maggie from her sleep. She yawns and stretches before she pulls herself out of bed, instantly putting on her bathrobe and slippers. She pops in her contact lenses in their en-suite and then she cleans her face. The scent of bacon, eggs and pancakes drift to her nose and makes her stomach clench in hunger as  she heads downstairs, approaching the kitchen. Inside, she finds her husband and his mini me dancing around while cooking. Went’s in a white tshirt and a pair of blue boxers while Richie is in a little yellow tshirt and his diaper, his glasses secured to his head via a blue strap.

“Oh yeah, baby, feel the rhythm!” Wentworth chuckles, ever the drummer. Richie lets out a little bout of giggles as he bounces around, his wild mess of dark curls bouncing all over the place.” Okay…and Richie, freestyle!”

Wentworth stops dancing and continues cooking the eggs in the pan on the stove while Richie does a little solo. It’s essentially just him stomping his feet and shaking his diapered butt whilst letting out loud giggles. Then, he looks to his dad and says,” daddy style!”

Richie claps along as Wentworth begins to just swish his hips from side to side, which their son somehow finds hilariously funny. And then, Richie’s lifting his arms to be picked up, and so Wentworth lifts him up with one arm, whilst the other is preoccupied with breakfast. Richie stares down at the pan and grins before he’s kissing his dad’s cheek softly. Wentworth smiles so wide it’s blinding, and then he’s kissing all over Richie’s face and making him screech with laughter.

“Careful, we don’t wanna wake mommy.” Wentworth chuckles and Maggie just says,” oh, I’m already awake, but please continue!”

“Oh man you ruined our surprise.” Wentworth sighs.” Can you take him while I plate this up? I don’t want him getting burned.”

“Mama!” Richie giggles as he’s handed over to his mom. Maggie smiles and rests him against her hip, continuing to dance around with him while Wentworth plates up breakfast.” No suspise for you!”

“I’m sorry I ruined it, baby.” She states, kissing the top of his head. He reaches up and pokes at the scars on her eyelids. Shes starting to regret wearing contact lenses. She moves her head away and says sternly,” not mommy’s eyes, baby, you know this.”

“Sowwy.” Richie says sadly and then he whines as she places him into his high chair. She just ruffles his hair and sits down beside him as Wentworth brings in their breakfast. He kisses Maggie gently on the lips before he sits down and states,” we were making you breakfast in bed.”

“You two are so sweet!” Maggie says with a grin, full of so much love she could burst. Richie grins and then shoves bacon into his mouth with his hands.” Use your fork, please.”

“No.” That’s his new favourite word right now. He loves saying no. It’s a little irritating but they’re working on it, truly. Today, however, Maggie just lets him do whatever he wants. What’s the point of having a child if you can’t spoil them sometimes? (They spoil him all the time. They can’t help it).

“What’s the plan for today?” Maggie asks her husband as he shoves some pancake into his mouth.

The days of hanging around the Hanlon farm have been over for a year now. The moment Maggie went back to work and they stuck Richie in daycare (alongside Stanley, so they’re still friends) they became too busy to organise anything. Wentworth had told her she didn’t need to work, he made enough to provide for them both, but Maggie loves working, truly. Even in that shitty diner. The compliments on her cooking make it all worth it. Sure, she misses her friends like crazy, but she’s sure they’ll get back in touch. She just hopes it’s soon.

“Well, I’ve got the morning off so I was thinking…me, you and the boy head to the park and then once I’m back from work we can go out for dinner?” Wentworth suggests and Maggie beams brightly at him.

“That sounds perfect!” She says and Richie giggles before he’s chewing on more bacon using his hands. He’s made a mess of himself already.

“Stop being so stinkin’ cute.” Maggie tells him and he laughs some more.

After breakfast, she opens her mothers day card. The front has a drawing of two rabbits on it, a mother and a baby, and inside Wentworth has written ‘to mommy, you’re the best in the whole world, I love you so much’ and underneath that is some multicoloured squiggles that she’s guessing is meant to be Richie’s name. She loves it. Her gift is a dainty necklace with an ‘R’ charm on it, and she cries as Wentworth helps her to put it on. She wears it with pride for the rest of the day. She never wants to take it off.

October 1979

Halloween is Richie’s favourite time of the year. He loves dressing up and going around the neighbourhood asking for candy. This year, his grandma Tozier had made him a little Kermit the Frog outfit, and he’s grinning from ear to ear as Maggie snaps some photos of him. Wentworth is dressed as Animal (he’s wearing a god awful multicoloured wig and ripped up clothes) while Maggie is dressed as Fozzie (she’s in a brown dress, with a bear ear headband and a Fozzie style hat on her head. She’d also drawn on a bear nose onto her face) and Richie’s never looked so happy in his entire three years of life.

As they begin to make their way out of the door to go trick or treating, Maggie grabs the ‘out trick or treating, take one’ sign and the bowl of candy. Wentworth opens the door, however, and Frank Kaspbrak is on the other side about to knock with Eddie. They haven’t seen them in two years. Somehow, Richie’s now taller than Eddie, despite the fact that Eddie’s turning four in a few days. He’s dressed in a little bear onesie and he holds up his Halloween bucket and says,” treat!” with a big smile on his face.

“Here you go, cutie.” Maggie says, holding the bowl in front of him. Eddie grins and selects a giant snickers bar and a Hershey’s bar.

“What do you say to Mrs Tozier, Eds?” Frank says as Eddie places them into his bucket. He looks up at Maggie and says,” thank you, Mrs Toesah!”

“You’re welcome.” Maggie chuckles as she places the sign on the door and the bowl on their porch bench. Frank smiles and asks,” were you just on your way out?”

“We were. No Sonia with you?” Wentworth asks.

“No, mommy’s at home for the trick or treaters isn’t she, Eddie?” Frank responds and Eddie nods up at Wentworth before he looks at Richie and says,” I like your cossume.”

“Thank you, I Kermit!” Richie responds an Eddie looks up at his dad and says,” I be Fozzie?”

“You can be Fozzie.” Maggie says, taking her hat off and placing it onto the boys head. He giggles.” You wanna join us trick or treating?”

“Yes please!” Frank responds, taking a hold of Eddie’s hand as the five of them begin making their way down the Tozier’s porch.

As they walk together, Wentworth and Frank fall into their usual dynamic of teasing one another and laughing loudly, not missing a beat (Went’s teasing Frank for not wearing a costume. Frank’s telling him he’s dressed as Norman Bates). It’s almost like two years haven’t passed. Richie and Eddie walk slightly ahead of them, looking like mini versions of their fathers as Richie says something that makes Eddie laugh. The two boys are holding hands, and it’s so sweet and so innocent that Maggie wishes they could stay this young and free forever. The world can be so cruel, she just hopes it won’t ever be cruel to them.

March 1980

Richie had requested a Muppets and Star Wars theme this year for his birthday. Wentworth had got the decorations (thankfully it’s easier to find Muppets stuff now) and Maggie had made the cake. Eddie and Stanley are coming over, Stanley to sleep over but Eddie isn’t allowed to stay for the night just yet. The three boys are in the basement, staring at Wentworth’s drum and guitars, and he laughs before he picks a guitar up and begins strumming it.

“Cool!” Stanley gasps as Went strums the guitar riff to Hotel California by The Eagles.

“Daddy, can I play?” Richie asks and Went smiles and nods as Richie begin to strum. Went plays the notes and Richie strums along happily as together they start the riff to The Chain by Fleetwood Mac.

Soon, the boys take turns to play the guitar, and Maggie watches with amusement until the doorbell rings. She heads upstairs, grabs their pizzas and then calls the boys up for dinner. Loud feet pound up the stairs and she can hear Wentworth’s laughter echoing around the halls. The three boys sit on the floor happily as Maggie puts on Star Wars for them, her and Went cuddled up on the couch and sharing a pizza to themselves. The boys are sharing a cheese and tomato while they have a meat feast, and it’s perfect. Eddie and Richie argue over characters, and they laugh loudly, and Stan sits beside them rolling his eyes but looking amused. He looks far older than three when he does that.

They don’t have any dessert, instead, they do Richie’s cake once the movie is over. Maggie’s made the Muppets as Star Wars characters for his cake and he loves it so much that he tells her four times how thankful he is. He blows out his candles, and the boys all eat a slice each before there’s a knock at the door. Wentworth opens it and greets Frank, meaning that it’s time for Eddie to go home. Richie, however, doesn’t like that one bit.

“We’re gonna play with my Death Star!” He sobs, trying to cling onto his mother’s dress. She pulls him off of her skirt gently as Frank and Wentworth watch his little temper tantrum.

“Eddie has to go home now.” Maggie tells him and he shrieks.” Baby, you knew he had to go home at six, he can’t stay over tonight.”

“Please, mama!” Richie bawls, his little face all red with tears running down his cheeks.” Mama!”

“It’s not up to me, sweetheart, please calm down.” She says, running a hand through his curls. He just shrieks again and turns to Frank, who goes wide eyed as Richie grabs ahold of his leg and goes,” please, can Eddie stay? Please!”

Frank kneels down to Richie’s height, and very gently begins to wipe his tears as he says,” we can stay for half an hour, okay? So you can show him the Death Star, and then we have to go I’m afraid. His grandparents from his mommy’s side are over right now and they want to see him too, is that okay?” Richie sniffles and nods before he’s hugging Frank tightly. Frank grins and says,” good boy, Rich.”

It was Frank who had began calling him Rich back when he was few months old, and every time Maggie hears the nickname, her heart clenches, and she can’t explain why. Richie scrubs at his eyes before he’s grabbing Eddie’s and Stanley’s hands and taking them to see the Death Star his grandparents had gotten for him. Frank follows Wentworth and Maggie to the kitchen; where Maggie pours them all some homemade lemonade.   

“How’s Sonia? I feel like we haven’t seen her in ages.” Maggie asks and Frank smiles before he responds with,” she’s good. She’s busy with work, you know how it is. I’m luckily self employed so I can set my own working hours so I’m usually the one who picks Eddie up from daycare.”

“How is the garage doing?” Maggie asks. Frank owns his own mechanics repair shop and he’s incredibly proud of it. He hopes to pass it onto Eddie one day.

“Business with booming, Margie.” He states with a grin.” How’s the diner?”

“Same old same old.” Maggie responds with a smile as she takes a sip of her lemonade.” Richie enjoys coming to work with me sometimes. He’ll help me with making the pies.”

“Yeah, he doesn’t like coming to work with me, though. He says it’s boring.” Wentworth states, and Frank laughs before he says,” that boys not following in his old man’s footsteps.”

“Less of the old, Kaspbrak. Less of the old.” Wentworth chuckles.” We are four days apart, don’t forget.”

“You never let me forget.” Frank replies.” March 7th and March 11th…they rhyme.”

“It’s like you two were destined to be best friends.” Maggie tells them and the smile that the two men give one another makes her long for Lilly. Her lifelong best friend. Her lifelong best friend who found her way out of Derry, who isn’t trapped because she felt like she had to stay in this awful town. She misses her like crazy. She misses Will, too. She hates how they became too busy for one another.

Richie loses it when the half hour is up and Eddie has to go home. He screams and screams by the front door long after Frank and Eddie are gone, and Stanley just happily sits in the living room with Wentworth; who tries to distract him from Richie’s temper tantrum. Maggie’s left to deal with Richie, who ends up being put on the naughty step for four minutes. She watches him from the kitchen, being able to see him from the doorway, and once the egg timer signals that his prison sentence is up, she walks over to him. He’s hiccuping like crazy, and some tears are still falling down his face, but he just looks up at his mother with his big eyes behind his glasses, and she’s instantly scooping him up into her arms. She hates it when he cries, even if he’s misbehaved.

“I’m sorry, mommy.” He mumbles into her shoulder and she rubs his back in an attempt to calm him.” Please don’t send Stanley home.”

“I won’t, sweetheart. That was only if you didn’t start behaving.” She tells him, pressing a kiss to his temple as she carries him into the living room.” How about we watch The Muppet Movie?”

“You okay, Wichie?” Stanley asks as Maggie sits down beside him, Richie on her lap. Stanley is cuddled against Wentworth’s side, looking very content.

“I want Kermit.” Richie mumbles, and Went heads upstairs to grab him.

Richie thanks him once his Kermit is in his arms, and Wentworth puts the movie on before he sits back down on the couch; Stanley curling up against his side once more. Richie barely makes it fifteen minutes in before he’s falling asleep, Kermit in his arms, head against his mother’s chest.

May 1980

Maggie had thought nothing of it at work when she’d heard about the house that caught on fire on Harris Avenue. It wasn’t until she got home that her world fell apart once again. The phone had rung, she had answered it, telling Richie and Stanley to quiet down as they’d been having a play date and were playing with Richie’s Star Wars figures. It had been Charlotte Hanlon on the phone. A very tearful and heartbroken Charlotte Hanlon had to break the news to her that another one of her best friends was dead.

Maggie had blacked out, unsure of what to do. She’d fallen to the floor in a mess of sobs, the phone hanging from the receiver, Richie and Stanley rushing into the room. Richie, the smartest four year old she’d ever met, had memorised the number to his dad’s office and had called him home. Wentworth had come rushing in and pulled his wife into his arms, crying with her over the loss of their friend. When the Uris’ had come to pick Stanley up (earlier than planned but Richie for once didn’t complain) they’d cried, also. Though they hadn’t been as close to Will and Jessica as Maggie had been.

Her dreams were unpleasant that night. She’d dreamt of fire, of smoke clogging her lungs, of that boy again; the one she can’t remember but knows she loved once upon a time. She dreamt of Will, of Jessica, of poor little Mike. She’d woken in a fit of sobs, and Wentworth had held her as she’d cried, guilt filling her veins. She hadn’t seen them in three years. Three whole years! Some friend she was.

The morning of the funeral, she stands numbly in front of the mirror. Shes too full of grief to put in her contacts, so she’s wearing her glasses. Shes in a neat black dress, with a black cardigan over the top, and her hair is half up and half down with a black bow keeping it in place. Wentworth’s standing in the doorway, donning a black suit, and she just looks at him in the reflection of the mirror. Her bottom lip begins to wobble and he rushes over to her, wrapping his arms around her waist and nuzzling his chin against her neck.

“I can’t do this again.” She sobs and Wentworth places a kiss to her shoulder, and then her jaw, before hes reaching his hand around and wiping the tears from her eyes.

“You’ve got me this time.” He whispers softly. She can’t really remember the funeral for the boy that saved her life, but she can remember the grief. She can’t do this again. It’s too painful.

Richie’s off with his grandparents for the day (on the Tozier side, the Truman’s have never met him) and the moment they make it to the church, Maggie doesn’t want to leave the car. She watches as some more people arrive, but it’s mostly family thanks to that batshit news article stating that Will was a crackhead who did this on purpose, though it’s clear it had been an electrical fire. She’d screwed the newspaper up in anger and had secluded herself in her room; having one of her aloof and quiet moments that she hadn’t had in a long while, which confused the hell out of Richie. The moment Maggie sees Leroy and Charlotte arrive with little Mike, she begins sobbing all over again.

“We need to go in, Mags.” Wentworth tells her, rubbing her back gently as she bawls her eyes out.” Come on, you’ll regret it otherwise.”

Maggie waits until the very last minute to get out of the car. She sits at the back of the church, and she zones out for the whole service, eyes focussed on Mike in the front row being held by his grandparents while he cries. It’s so unfair. Life is so fucking cruel. He’s just a little boy and he’s lost his parents in such a horrific way. He’ll never get to know them, know how good they were, know how loved he was. Wentworth holds her throughout the service, and when they get to the wake at the farm, she stays firmly by his side. She leans her head on his shoulder and he wraps his arms around her, kissing her temple repeatedly.

“No good friends, no bad friends. Only people we want to be with. Need to be with. People who build their houses in your heart.”

“Margie?” Charlotte says as she approaches her carefully. Maggie sniffles and lifts up her head, looking at her through her tears. She looks exhausted, and so full of pain that it hurts to look at her.” Hey, kid, how’re you holding up?”

“I’m…” She begins and then she remembers how she’s secluded herself in her room a lot more lately, bogged down by grief.” I’m getting there, I guess? Richie helps in ways he doesn’t even comprehend.”

“Mikes like that for us.” Charlotte states and they glance over at Mike, who’s sat on Leroy’s lap eating a sandwich.” That boys been through a lot yet he’s constantly got a smile on his little face. I wish I could have a positive outlook like him.”

“I’m so sorry, Char.” Maggie begins to sob and Charlotte pulls her into a hug, Wentworth standing and rubbing her back softly.” I didn’t see either of them for so long, I’m such a shit friend-“

“Hush now, my love, that’s not true. You were the best friend Will could’ve had, y’all just became too busy.” Charlotte sniffles, rocking her back and forth, though Maggie’s taller than her now.” Don’t blame yourself for any of this. It was an accident! A horrible accident.”

There’s a while where she’s just hugged by both Charlotte and Leroy, and she sobs, and they don’t judge her. There’s a moment where she spends some time with Mike, listening to him talk about his parents, incredibly articulate for a three year old. He doesn’t seem sad, at least not right now, and Maggie can see so much of Will in him that it’s painful. She vows in that moment to protect that boy as much as she can.

August 1980

“Mama! I’m gonna be late!” Is how Maggie is awoken. She blinks back the sleepiness from her eyes, grabbing her glasses, the blurry vision of her four year old coming into view. He’s smiling at her, wearing bedhead that could rival his father’s. Speaking of, he’s already up and out at work.” I got pre-k, mama. Are you having a sad day again?”

Her bouts of grief have been getting worse since Will passed. She spends a lot of her time in her room wallowing if she’s not working, and she knows that Richie’s worried, and she knows that Went is too. She sits up, rubs at her eyes under her glasses and sees that they have 20 minutes to get Richie to school.

“Fuck!” She gasps, grabbing Richie and scrambling out of bed.

It’s a frantic morning. She throws on a random dress, puts Richie in a white tshirt and some short dungarees before she’s helping him brush his teeth. She makes him some breakfast, just a bowl of cereal, which he eats while she does her teeth. She doesn’t bother with her contacts, she just packs Richie’s backpack with a snack, puts their shoes on and then is carrying him out to the car.

“You look like hell.” Andrea states as Maggie rushes over to her, Stanley, Sonia and Eddie at the pre-school gates.

“Are you okay?” Sonia asks, both of them looking at her with concern while their boys all chat excitedly.

“Overslept, I’m fine.” Maggie responds, leaning over and trying to smooth down Richie’s hair. She fails. It springs right back up.” Oh God, child, you look like you were dragged through a bush backwards.”

Richie giggles at that, and then the three women take their sons by the hands and head into the building together. They head to their classroom, stand and listen to the teachers introduction that Maggie isn’t really listening to, and then she kneels down to Richie’s height when it comes time to leave. He blinks up at her and she adjusts his glasses on his face, now that he’s free from the infant strap his glasses slide down his face quite frequently.

“You have a good day, now, sweetheart.” She tells him, kissing his forehead softly.” Be a good boy, okay? Andrea is gonna pick you up after school and I’ll grab you from the Uris’, okay?”

“Okay, mommy.” Richie responds and Maggie smiles at him.” Please don’t be sad at work.”

“Oh sweetheart, I’m okay, I promise.” She tells him, voice welling with emotion as she pulls him into a hug. She kisses the top of his head and pulls back before she says,” have the best day. I love you.”

“I love you, too.” Richie says, watching as his mom stands back up before he rushes off to join Stan and Eddie. They make their way over to another boy, one Sonia lets them know is one of Eddie’s daycare friends Bill, and the boy is instantly laughing at something Richie is doing. Maggie smiles as her heart swells with love for her son.

She doesn’t have a bad day at work, far from it. She jokes along with the other chefs, takes a while to waitress on the floor, and even spends two hours just baking pies. It’s soothing, truly it is, and by the end of her shift she’s longing to see her son again now that her mood has improved. She slips on jacket over her waitress uniform, takes down her hair from the ponytail she threw it up in earlier, and she grabs her purse as she says goodbye the afternoon and evening staff. They wave goodbye with smiles on their faces and Maggie’s in such a good mood as she gets into her car and drives to the Uris’.

When she arrives at the Uris’, Frank is already there to pick up Eddie, and he’s got Richie under one arm and Bill under another, spinning them both around and making them laugh loudly. Maggie grins as she enters, hearing the boys laughter, and he places the two boys on the ground, trying to catch his breath for a moment before Eddie and Stanley request a turn. Frank blinks a little hard, and then picks the boys up and spins them, too, laughter ringing out loudly.

“Mommy!” Richie giggles, running over to her and lifting his arms up. She picks him up, holding him close and kissing the top of his head.” Mommy, I got a new friend!”

“I saw. Hi Bill!” Maggie greets and Bill looks up at her shyly before he’s responding with,”huh-huh-hi Richie’s muh-muh-mom-m.”

“Bills got a stammer.” Richie informs his mom sweetly.” Cause he was in a car crash.”

“Oh God, that’s awful, I’m sorry.” Maggie apologises and Bill just shrugs before he’s skipping off to find Stan. Eddie’s in his dad’s arms, laughing as Frank tickles him.” Right, little monster, let’s get home to start dinner for when daddy finishes work.”

“Bye Stanley, bye Eddie, bye Bill!” Richie calls out as Andrea walks into the hallway. Maggie grins at her and says,” thank you for looking after him. I hope he wasn’t any trouble.”

“He’s got a mouth on him that one, but he’s so stinkin’ cute. Have you showed your mama your Kermit impression yet?” Andrea asks and Richie turns to Maggie and begins singing Rainbow Connection in an almost pitch perfect Kermit the Frog impression.

Maggie and Wentworth often speak in silky voices to one another, and she’s thrilled that Richie’s got a habit of it, too. He’s giggling as Maggie kisses his cheek, and then she thanks Andrea once more before she’s taking Richie to the car. He continues doing his Kermit impression the whole way home and Maggie indulges him, because he’s so enthusiastic and she loves when he’s happy.

January 1981

When Maggie first began dating Wentworth, she knew he was a package deal. He and Frankie Kaspbrak had been attached at the hip since they were in daycare. They met when they were three years old and had been inseparable since. That time period of two years where they hadn’t seen each other had been hard on Wentworth, he’d missed his best friend everyday. They had just become such busy people. Now, though, it’s easier to meet up now that their sons are close.

She also knows that when Frank was four, he was diagnosed with an aggressive form of leukaemia that they didn’t think he’d survive. Wentworth, a tiny four year old himself, stuck by his best friend’s side. He sat with him through his chemotherapy sessions, would try and put on puppet shows for him; and Frank’s been thankful for that ever since. He was officially cancer free when he was six and he’s been well past remission ever since.

The boys are playing with a train set Eddie had gotten for Christmas, laughing away without care in the world. Sonia’s oddly withdrawn and quiet, and she keeps an eye on the boys as Frank takes Went and Maggie to the kitchen, beginning to make the boys some hot chocolate.

“I’ve got something to tell you.” He sighs out, not looking at them. Maggie feels Wentworth immediately tense beside her. Frank’s tone is solemn and Went looks nervous. He lets their hot chocolates brew and turns to them, eyes still not meeting theirs.” I passed out at work the other week. I’ve been tired, my joints have been hurting more and more. I’ve been getting a tiny bit dizzy. I had a nose bleed and then I passed out. We didn’t think it would be anything serious, but they ran some tests.”

“And?” Went asks when Frank goes quiet. The man doesn’t say anything, he fiddles with the sleeves of his sweater and turns back to the hot chocolates.” Frankie…what’s wrong?”

Frank takes a shuddering intake of breath before he’s turning back around to the pair. Wentworth’s already working himself into a panicked state, and Maggie grabs ahold of his hand. She rubs her thumb gently against his knuckles and he stares at his best friend with pleading eyes. Frank’s eyes begin to well with tears, and it’s like something clicks in Wentworth’s head as he sobs out a,” no.”

“Yeah.” Frank breathes out and Maggie looks between the two, a little confused.

“No! Please, no!” Went cries, walking over to Frank and pulling him into a hug. Frank hugs him back almost instantly, clinging to him like a lifeline.

“I’m sorry.” He mumbles against his best friend’s shoulder. Frank just laughs wetly before he’s saying,” don’t apologise, it’s not your fault that cancers a fucking bitch!”

“Wait, it’s back?” Maggie asks, her voice clogging with emotion. Frank nods and holds an arm out of her to join their hug. She immediately does, tears beginning to fall down her face.

“We haven’t told Eddie yet. We don’t know how.” Frank sobs, and Wentworth just cries quietly into his shoulder, unable to say anything.” I’m not going to see him grow up.”

“Don’t say that. You’ve beaten it before, maybe you will again!” Maggie tries to encourage him but he just shakes his head.

“They did a lumbar, it’s…it’s already in my nervous system. I don’t know how much more I can fight.” Frank cries. Maggie wipes some of his tears away and holds the two men tightly as they bawl.” They thought the chemo from when I was a kid would make me infertile. Eddie’s a fucking miracle, he’s my miracle and…I’m not going to see him grow up.”

“When do you start treatment?” Wentworth asks, voice wobbly, tears falling down his face.

“I start chemo next week. They don’t know how effective it’ll be given it’s in my nervous system.” Frank sniffles in response.” They suggested a bone marrow transplant but it didn’t work when I was a kid. It was the chemo that worked.”

“If you need anything, anything at all, we’re here to help.” Maggie states and Frank smiles tearfully at her.” How’s Sonia holding up?”

“Not well. She’s…she’s trying to ignore that it’s happening while she still can, I think.” Frank responds and Wentworth harshly pulls out of the hug and he says,” I need some air. Sorry.” Before he’s heading out of the kitchen and into the Kaspbrak’s backyard.

Maggie presses a soft kiss to Frank’s forehead before she’s following her husband outside. He’s doubled over, retching, and she rushes to his side, rubbing between his shoulder blades. He’s sobbing the worst she’s ever seen him sob, and it’s painful to watch. She pulls him into her arms, holding him tightly and crying along side him as he hyperventilates in her arms. She takes him through some breathing exercises and he just weeps and weeps and weeps.

November 1981

Eddie’s taken the news of his dad’s diagnosis better than they’d expected. It’s been almost a year, and he’s taking it in his stride. Frank’s sick, real sick, and he’s sitting against the couch cushions weakly, a hat covering his bald head, a blanket covering his trembling body. But he’s smiling as he’s watching his newly turned six year old open up his birthday presents.

“Cool!” He gasps as he holds up a Darth Vader figure.” Thank you Bill’s mom and dad! Daddy, look it’s Darth Vader!”

“That’s awesome.” Frank croaks though he looks genuinely happy for his son. Sonia’s sitting beside him, stroking his arm gently, trying not to show how upset she is.

“This is so so cool, oh my God!” Eddie gasps, hugging Bill excitedly before he’s grabbing another gift to unwrap.” From the Tozier’s.”

“I chose it!” Richie informs him as he, Bill, Stanley and their parents watch Eddie tear off the wrapping paper.

“Oh wow!” Eddie gasps as he unwraps a Lego Death Star set.” Oh, thank you, Rich. Thank you. Thank you!”

“I thought you and your dad can make it together when he’s feeling better.” Richie says innocently and it makes Maggie’s heart ache. Eddie wraps Richie up in a hug, presses a soft kiss to his cheek and says,” you’re the bestest friend ever. Thank you!”

“Your son’s so sweet.” Frank whispers to Wentworth, who instantly begins to tear up. He gently holds onto Frank’s hand and says,” they remind me of us.”

“They’re exactly like us.” Frank laughs softly, but it comes to an abrupt stop when his nose begins to bleed. Sonia immediately rushes off to get him a tissue.” Oh fuck! Shit!”

“Daddy, are you okay?” Eddie asks with concern as Went tries to stem the blood with his sweater sleeve. Frank tries to tell him to stop, but Wentworth informs him that he doesn’t care about ruining his sweater.

“Here, honey.” Sonia says tearfully as she reaches her husband again, sitting back down beside him. She blinks back her tears as she and Wentworth press the tissues against his nose, and the kids are all watching with alarm as Frank asks,” can you get them out of the room, please? I think I’m about to be sick.”

“Come on, boys. Why don’t we head off to the kitchen for a moment?” Maggie suggests, immediately springing into action. Richie rushes into her arms and she picks him up before she’s guiding Eddie, Bill and Stanley out to the other room. Zack, Bill’s father, is grabbing something for Frank to be sick in while Donald, Andrea and Zack’s wife Sharon are trying to find some antibiotics and pain killers he can take.

“Is Frank okay, mom?” Richie asks as Maggie places him onto the kitchen floor.

“He’s just really sick, sweetheart.” Maggie responds, and then Eddie lets out a startling sob. The boys instantly crowd him in a hug and he sobs in their arms, similar to how she, Wentworth and Frank did a few months back.” Oh, honey, it’s okay! Come here.”

Eddie immediately goes to her open arms, and she picks him up. He’s smaller and lighter than Richie so it isn’t much of a struggle like it usually is with her own son, and she rests Eddie against her hip. He clings onto her, bawling his eyes out, and she just rubs his back gently as she tries to soothe him. Stan, Bill and Richie are all crying too, and they all cling onto Maggie’s legs, seeking comfort from her as well.

Frank’s a little better by the time they do Eddie’s cake. Eddie’s sat by his side, Frank holding onto him as best as he can as Sonia brings his car cake in that Maggie had made for him. They all sing to him and he beams brightly before he blows out his candles.

March 1982

March had been a pretty uneventful month. They’d celebrated Richie and Went’s birthdays, had sent off a card for Frank (who had been too sick to celebrate his) and now Maggie’s enjoying a day off from work. Her son always somehow knows how to make her laugh, and she watches with amusement as he dances around the kitchen whilst they’re supposed to be making a pie.

“Careful you don’t get flour everywhere, cutie.” She tells him and he giggles at her before the front door opens. He turns his head in the direction of the sound and calls out,” daddy?”

“Wentworth?” Maggie calls out and he very slowly makes his way into the kitchen. His expression is unreadable, and it’s a foreign concept seeing him so removed and void of emotion.” You’re home early, is everything alright?”

“Uhm no, not really.” Wentworth responds, his voice clogging with emotion as tears spring to his eyes. Richie’s watching him, incredibly concerned and confused, until he cries out,” Frank passed!”

“When?” Maggie gasps, rushing out from behind the breakfast bar and pulling her husband into a hug as he breaks into gut wrenching sobs. He’s shaking all over, and sure, Maggie’s seen him cry loads but never this badly.

“His fucking birthday of all fucking days!” Wentworth bawls and he sounds so angry that it’s unsettling. Richie’s standing and watching his parents, unsure of what to do.” Oh my god…oh my fucking god this isn’t happening. This isn’t real. It was a fucking week ago and no one told me until now, he was my best fucking friend on this whole Earth! And I found out via waiting room gossip at work? What the fuck?!”

“I’m sorry, baby.” Maggie cries alongside him. He gives out hiccuping sobs in her arms and then she looks at their son as he begins to cry and she says,” oh sweetheart, come here!”

“Is Eddie okay?” Richie sobs as his mom picks him up, trying to hold her husband together and calm their son.” I want to see Eddie! He hasn’t been at school! I want to see him!”

“Okay, baby. It’s okay.” Maggie shushes and then she asks Wentworth,” has the funeral been?”

“No. It’s in two days.” He sniffles and Richie cries,” I want to see Eddie!”

“We will see him soon.” Maggie says as Wentworth rants out,” he beat cancer at six years old and it still got him, this is so fucking cruel!”

That night, they all end up asleep in their bed. Richie’s tucked under his mother’s arm, and Went is resting against her chest, all tired out from crying. He takes a day off of work the next day, and Maggie prepares a casserole to give to the Kaspbrak’s. Richie begs to come with her. She can’t say no. Wentworth stays at home, lying on the couch and not paying attention to the show on the TV. Instead, he’s wallowing in his grief, incredibly angry at the world.

It’s raining as they stand on the Kaspbrak’s front porch, casserole in one of Maggie’s hands, Richie’s small hand tucked into her other. He look up as his mom as they wait, and then eventually, the door opens for them to be greeted with a very grief stricken looking Sonia, who’s still in her pyjamas. A bit like Wentworth is.

“We heard about Frank, I’m so sorry. How’re you holding up?” Maggie begins and to her surprise, Sonia just bursts into tears.” We…we figured making dinner is gonna be hard for you guys. I made you a casserole, is that okay?”

Sonia just moves to the side, allowing the two into the house. It’s a mess, but Maggie isn’t about to judge, and she heads to the kitchen to place the casserole down while Richie goes off to find Eddie. Sonia heads into the kitchen herself and grabs some tissues to wipe her eyes. Maggie just looks at her, filled with so much pain for her. It’s hard watching Wentworth grieve his best friend, but it’s awful watching Sonia grieve her husband.

Maggie sets to recook the casserole and then she starts to brew some tea for Sonia. Shes not planning on staying long, she knows that they need their space before tomorrow. She does, however, do the dishes while the casserole cooks. Sonia watches her from where she’s quietly sat at the table, and Maggie dries and puts away the dishes in the silence.

“How’s Eddie doing?” She eventually asks because she hates silence. Sonia sniffles and responds with,” better than me. He’s only six, I don’t think it’s fully hit him yet. He’s so young! He’s so so young!”

“It’s so unfair, I’m so sorry.” Maggie tells her. She gets how she’s feeling, she’s lost so many people. She pours the tea into a mug and hands it to Sonia, who takes it with shaking hands before Maggie’s turning back to the casserole.” Eddie’s a strong boy, Sonia. I know things seem bleak right now, but he’s a good kid and he’s got good friends around him.”

“Thank you for doing this.” Sonia cries and Maggie begins to plate up the casserole before she’s saying,” don’t thank me at all. It’s called being a friend.”

When Eddie’s called down for dinner, it’s a shock to see just how normal he looks. He’s up and dressed and he’s even laughing as he heads into the room, Richie beside him, doing an awful British accent. Sonia seems to manage a smile at her son’s laughter, and Eddie greets Maggie with a hug before he’s sitting down for his dinner. Before they go, Sonia thanks her once again, and Maggie reminds her once more that she’s just being a friend.

It’s raining on the day of the funeral, and the Tozier car is quiet for once. Richie’s playing a racing game in the back with the raindrops on the window, sitting nicely in his little black suit. Went’s face is turned against his window, tears silently falling down his cheeks. Maggie’s driving, wearing the dress she wore to Will’s funeral, and now she’s back here again. Another funeral. Again.

Wentworth is immediately in floods of tears the moment they enter the church. The photo they’ve chosen of Frank is a shot from his and Maggie’s wedding. Went is cropped out of it but Frank’s smile is so blinding that it’s overwhelming, and Richie’s holding onto his dad’s hand as his dad openly weeps loudly in the church. It’s a closed casket, but there’s a body in there this time, unlike Will and Jessica’s funeral.  Their photo had been from their wedding, Jessica dressed in white and Will looking at her with so much love. Maggie stares at the photo of Frank through the entire service. It isn’t fair. It truly isn’t fair. He’d survived cancer once before and it still wasn’t enough.

Eddie’s sobbing loudly through the whole service, and Richie keeps trying to get up to go to him, to the point where Maggie has to hold him on her lap. He makes a loud protest, and Sonia glares at the six year old over her shoulder. Richie clings onto his mom and then begins to cry, as well. Wentworth’s head is against Maggie’s shoulder as he bawls, and she tries to hold it together for her boys. It’s difficult, but she manages.

April 1982

In the same way that Wentworth found out that his best friend had passed away whilst he was at work, Maggie finds out in a similar way that Eddie’s been in hospital whilst she’s waitressing. There’s some of Sonia’s relatives having dinner, and she doesn’t mean to eaves drop, truly she doesn’t. But Eddie hasn’t been to school in weeks and it’s worrying Richie, she just didn’t expect the answer to be that he’d almost died of pneumonia. He’s back at home now, recovering, and she thanks the God she doesn’t believe in that her son doesn’t have to go through what she and his father have.

It’s a day where she finishes work before Richie finishes school, and so once she’s home, she begins to make Eddie some homemade soup. It’s a simple chicken broth, something she gives to both Richie and Wentworth when they’re sick, and she drives over to the Kaspbrak house and rings the doorbell. There’s no response, and so she tries again. And again. And again, until Sonia is opening the door with a stern frown on her face. Maggie shrinks in on herself despite being taller than her.

“I heard about Eddie. Figured he could use some soup?” Maggie states, offering the soup towards Sonia, who just looks at it as though it’s toxic.

“Are we just gossip fuel in this town?” Sonia asks and Maggie pulls the soup back toward her chest, allowing it to warm her up a little. She looks at the older woman, slightly confused.” I didn’t tell you about Eddie, I didn’t tell you about Frank, and so clearly people are gossiping about us!”

“Wentworth deserved to find out another way about his best friend dying.” Maggie states, voice entirely calm.” He found out at work because your hairdresser was discussing it in the waiting room. And today, I found out about Eddie via your relatives talking about it in the diner. I’m not the one gossiping about you, Sonia. Richie’s concerned about Eddie. I’m just trying to be a friend.”

“You’re not my friend, Margaret.” Sonia says harshly, and Maggie can feel an anger brewing in her gut, ugly and unwanted. She grips onto the soup container.” And I’m certainly not a charity case. I can take care of my sick child all by myself, I don’t need your pathetic soup or your help!”

And with that, she slams the door in her face, leaving Maggie standing on the porch in absolute shock. She knows grief can be ugly, she just wasn’t expecting this.

August 1982

Wentworth had done the school drop off, and so it’s Maggie’s day to do pick up. It’s the first day of the new semester, and their little boy is a first grader, which seems crazy to say. Today, she’s picking up Richie, Bill and Stanley and looking after them while their parents finish work, and the moment she spots the boys, she waves them over.  Eddie’s at school, recovered from his pneumonia but still a little weak, and he’s holding Richie’s hand on the playground. Maggie watches Sonia scold him for that and Maggie suppresses an eye roll. Ever since Frank passed she’s been getting stranger and stranger, and Maggie would be more concerned if she wasn’t saying nasty things about her son. Calling him dirty, telling Eddie to stay away from him. Richie doesn’t seem too bothered by it, but Maggie is. Girls were horrible to her at school but a grown woman hating a six year old for no reason is a bit too much, in her opinion.

“How was school boys?” Maggie asks as she drives, the boys rowdy in the back as they fuss over Bill’s new Indiana Jones figure.

“Good.” They respond and Maggie grins before she’s asking Bill,” and hows your brother, sweetheart?”

“Oh he-he’s so cuh-cuh-cuh-cute, M-Mrs T!” Bill responds with a big grin on his face. Maggie was looking after Bill until his dad finished work, allowing his mom some time alone with her eleven month old, or to tidy, or to just rest. A toddler can be a lot. Maggie can still remember when Richie was tiny.

The boys instantly rush down to the basement to play when Maggie opens the front door, and she hangs up their coats and bags, and puts away their shoes before she’s heading to the kitchen. She sighs as she begins to prepare dinner, smiling as she hears Richie make Bill and Stanley laugh with his new voice, the Irish Cop.

August 1984

The night before he’s starting third grade, Richie throws one of the biggest temper tantrums his parents have ever witnessed. He’s moody all through dinner, he refuses his bath, they have to fight him to get him bathed; dragging him to the tub kicking and screaming, and now he’s refusing to go to sleep. Maggie had laid out his back to school outfit, and he’d just thrown it all on the floor. He’s sat amongst the mess, screaming at his dad, who is trying to get him to stand up. He’s too big to carry now, he’s too tall, and Went is trying his best to get him off of the floor, but Richie’s entire body is limp and he screams and screams. His voice is going raw. They can hear it.

“What’s wrong? Why won’t you behave?” Wentworth asks, sounding at his wits end. His glasses are crooked on his face and he’s been tugging at his hair in pure frustration so it’s now sticking up in tufts. Richie just screams as Went goes to lift him up again. So, he drops his son’s arm and Richie curls up on the floor, on top of his clothes, bawling.

Hesitantly, Maggie approaches her eight year old like he’s a startled animal whilst her husband takes some calming breaths. Richie looks up at her, hiccuping and hyperventilating, and she reaches out for him. He grabs her hands and allows her to pull him up on his shaky legs. Carefully, she takes her son to her room, and Wentworth goes to grab him some water. She sits Richie down on the edge of the bed, and he trembles as Maggie goes to the en suite and wets a face cloth, before she comes back and kneels in front of him. He knocked his glasses off in his fit of rage and so, she just gently begins to cool him down by wiping the cloth over his face. Richie begins to take calming breaths as Wentworth comes back with the water.

“Small sips, my little knight.” She whispers to him, a nickname she’s been calling him since he went as a knight last Halloween. It had felt right, like it suited him. Rich, her brave little knight. Richie sniffles as he does as instructed. She brushes his bangs out of his eyes and he blinks at her.” You wanna tell us what that was all about?”

“I duh-duh-don-don’t.” Richie takes a pause in speaking and has another sip of water. Wentworth, who’s sitting beside him while Maggie’s knelt in front of him, begins to rub his back as Maggie tries to help him calm his breathing. He wipes at his eyes before he’s responding with,” I don’t wanna go to school.”

“Why not, honey?” Maggie asks as Wentworth gently strokes their son’s hair. Richie leans against him and Went puts his arm around him.” I thought you really liked school?” Richie shakes his head.” What’s happened, sweetheart? You did really like school!”

“Do…do you hate me?” Richie asks, voice all wobbly with emotion. Wentworth and Maggie glance at one another, both stunned that he’d ever ask that. Maggie feels the question hit her right in her chest and she feels herself begin to tear up, pulling her son into her arms and letting him sob against her.

“Honey, your dad and I love you so so much, okay? I don’t want you to ever feel otherwise.” Maggie begins and Wentworth looks like he’s about to burst into tears. Instead, he gulps his emotion down and says,” yeah, kid. You’re the best thing to have ever happened to us. We tell you everyday that we love you and it’s the truth. Why do you think that we don’t?”

“Hen-Hen-Henry Bowers sah-said that…that mama should’ve hah-had an abortion. I don’t know what-wha-what that is. Buh-but he said yuh-you hate meh-me. That eh-everyone hates me.” Richie bawls, and Maggie holds him closer to her while Wentworth wraps his arms around them both.

“He’s ten, how on earth does he even know what an abortion is anyway?” Maggie states, trying to not let her anger seep out of her voice. That isn’t what Richie needs right now.

“Well, his father is Oscar Bowers so I’m not shocked that the kids a little fucked in the head.” Wentworth says without thinking, and that makes Richie giggle.” Son, do not say that to him. Please!”

“That was funny.” Richie laughs and Wentworth grins before he’s kissing him on the temple.

That night, they all end up in the same bed yet again. Went’s pushed right onto the edge of it but he doesn’t seem to mind, instead curling himself around Maggie, who has Richie tucked under her arm, fast asleep. She plays with his hair softy, and she grins when she feels Wentworth place a gentle kiss by her ear before he falls asleep, too.

December 1987

It’s weird now, having a sixth grader. She has a middle schooler, which wasn’t even a thing when she was in school. It was just elementary or high school. Richie takes the bus to school now, telling his parents that he’s old enough, now, and that Bill and Stanley get the bus, too. Eddie gets the bus home, and Maggie’s thrilled that he’s still close friends with the boys even though it’s clear that his mother has jumped off the deep end. Suddenly, Eddie has a billion allergies and is constantly getting checked at the hospital for things that Maggie is certain don’t exist.

She’s home early, as she’s had an earlier shift at work because she has more time to do those shifts now that Richie takes the bus to school. All she has to do is make sure he’s up, dressed and fed before she goes, and though he misbehaves at school, he’s never late there. He’s a pretty good kid, Maggie wonders often how she got so lucky.

They decorated the house for Christmas last week, and it’s nice to come home and feel the Christmas spirit. Richie’s still at an age where the magic of Christmas hasn’t worn off yet, and Maggie dreads when that day arrives. She tidies up the entrance hall a little as Richie’s got about ten billion pairs of shoes lying on the floor, and then she heads off to make some Christmas cookies.

She’s putting the cookies into the oven when the front door opens and she hears multiple pairs of feet hurry into the house. The boys hang out spot was at theirs now, as opposed to the Uris’ house like when they were younger. They’re talking in hushed voices, which makes concern flood Maggie’s gut because these boys were never quiet unless something was wrong. They’ve made it to the stairs when she makes herself known, and Richie turns so his back is to her. Bill, Eddie and Stanley stand in front of him and smile innocently.

“Can I see my son, please?” Maggie asks and the three boys glance to one another.” Richard…turn around.”

Richie goes to comply, but before he can fully turn around, Eddie’s rambling out,” I tried to patch him up, Mrs Tozier, I swear!”

“Patch him up?” Maggie asks and then she lets out a horrified gasp when her son turns around and she catches sight of his face. His right eye is swollen shut, his lip is busted, there’s dry blood around his nose and he’s holding his glasses in his hand. His broken glasses. They’re split right in the middle, being held together by tape.

“What the fuck? Who the fuck did this to you?” Maggie asks, not caring that she’s cursing. The boys move and allow her to reach her son, and he shies away from her touch when she goes to cradle his face in her hands.

“It’s fine, ma, leave it!” Richie says, backing away from her affections.

“It’s not fine!” She tells him and he just turns to head up the stairs.” Who did this to you, Richard?”

“Leave it!” He yells at her, grabbing Eddie by the arm and storming off to the bathroom. Eddie gives Maggie an apologetic look before he’s dragged away, and then she turns to Stanley and Bill, the latter having a cut on his lip.

“I tuh-tried to in-in-inter-intervene.” Bill admits when she realises she’s looking at his cut. She just raises her eyebrows, expecting him to tell her what happened, but when Bill doesn’t continue speaking, she turns to Stanley and says,” Stanley Theodore Uris, you better tell me what happened right this instant!”

Stanley goes wide eyed, and he looks to Bill in a panic before he looks back to Maggie and says,” he…uhm. He’s gonna be mad I told you!”

“I don’t care.” Maggie says, worry taking over her voice.” He’s just come home, beaten and bruised, and no one will tell me why. So I’m going to ask you boys again…what happened?”

They glance to one another before they both rush to answer her question. She tells them to slow down, to answer one at a time, and eventually she figures out that it’s to do with Henry Bowers. It’s always to do with Henry Bowers. He’s been verbally abusing Richie for years and no matter how many times Maggie and Wentworth see the principal, nothing is ever sorted. And now he’s caused physical harm to her son, and Maggie is so mad that she excuses the boys to go and see Richie while she takes herself off to go and calm down. They’d told her it wasn’t Richie’s fault, that Henry had actually been saying awful stuff to Eddie, and Richie had opened his mouth and told him to go blow Paul Bunyan. Henry had practically jumped on top of him and begun punching him, and Bill had tried to get in between them, resulting in him getting hit, too.

Richie and his friends stay up in his room whilst Maggie prepares dinner. After an hour, the boys head home, saying hi to Wentworth when he crosses the threshold into the house. He greets them all in his own little way, and then he’s greeting his wife with a kiss before he spots how angrily she’s chopping up carrots.

“What did the carrots do?” Wentworth asks, and then he jumps when Maggie slams the knife down on the counter and yanks open the freezer door, grabbing a bag of ice.” What’s happening? What’s wrong? I haven’t seen you like this in a while!”

Maggie doesn’t say anything, she just wraps the ice in a cloth and heads upstairs, Wentworth following her. She knocks on Richie’s door, and he doesn’t respond but they can hear the hums of a guitar being played (which is one of Wentworth’s), and so she knocks again. When he doesn’t respond yet again, she opens his door up and he glares at her as she walks in. Wentworth gasps at the sight of his face, even though it’s a fraction better than it had been when he’d come home. Richie just stares at the two of them, and then he spots the ice in his mother’s hand, and his non bruised eye tears up.

“It was just me and my stupid mouth, mom. I’m fine.” He tells her, voice choking around the emotion, and Maggie sighs as she sits down beside him. Gently, she holds the ice on his eye and he sniffles.

“It’s not fine.” She tells him, hating how his bottom lip is trembling from him trying to hold back his emotion.” He’s thirteen years old, he shouldn’t be putting his hands on an eleven year old kid!”

“Oh, they don’t care about age. I was twelve and a fifteen year old Oscar Bowers and a thirteen year old Alvin Marsh tormented me for years!” Wentworth states and Richie glances to his dad, who ventures into the room and runs a soothing hand through his son’s hair.” This town is so shitty sometimes. They chased me once, all the way to the Kenduskeag. People were ignoring it, except for one woman…Charlotte Hanlon was the only person who stepped in to stop them. Unfortunately, though, I wasn’t very athletic and the head start I had didn’t work and I ended up in the water.”

“What the fuck?” Richie gasps and Maggie sighs out a,” language, Richard!” He just gives her an apologetic smile and Wentworth kisses the top of his son’s head as he says,” we’re trying to put an end to the bullying, I promise. I just wish it hadn’t gotten physical for you like it did for me.”

“I can handle it, I swear.” Richie tells them.” I’m just really sorry I was rude to you, mom.”

“It’s okay, sweetheart.” She says.” Now, apply pressure on the ice and do your homework before dinner.”

“Yes ma’am!” Richie chuckles as his dad ruffles his hair and his mom softly kisses his cheek.

October 1988

That familiar sense of dread hits Maggie like a cold bucket of water when she reads the front page headline on the paper while she’s getting ready to go to work. Went’s sat at the table, coffee in a mug on the top of the table, newspaper open while Richie is shovelling eggs and bacon into his mouth like a barnyard animal. Maggie stares in horror at the headline. Georgie Denbrough is missing. Little seven year old Georgie Denbrough is missing! They’d just celebrated his birthday a few weeks ago and now he’s missing!

Maggie glances to the calendar. She’s aware of the year but there’s something telling her to look at the date. It’s 1988. 26 years after that horrific year of 1962, and she can’t remember what happened, she tries to remember for Georgie’s sake. But she can’t. She begins to hyperventilate, fears of her son being harmed filling her mind, and she feels her husband’s hands on her back, and her son asking if she’s okay, and tries to steady her breathing. This couldn’t be happening again!

March 1989

The morning of Richie’s 13th birthday had been completely normal. Maggie and Wentworth had had a little cry in bed before Richie had woken up over the fact they now had a teenager, but things had progressed smoothly after that. Maggie had made a feast of a breakfast, and Richie had happily opened his gifts (except for his main one, which he’ll open later) before heading off to school, happy and cheerful like nothing could ruin his mood, his birthday badge shining on his sweater.

Work is the same as it usually is, incredibly uneventful, and Maggie’s allowed to go home early to prepare for Richie’s birthday. The boys are staying over, and so Maggie decorates the basement with homemade Street Fighter bunting as that’s her son’s current obsession. His cake is even Street Fighter themed. She blows up both of their double air mattresses, grabs Richie’s bedding and a tonne of blankets, and makes some form of den for them. Richie had requested a scary movie for their sleepover and so Maggie pulls out their tapes of horror movies she thought they’d be fine with. Just as she heads back upstairs to prepare some snacks for them, the front door opens and the boys loud voices bounce around the house.

“I don’t even know if it’s human shit or animal shit!” She hears Richie say as she walks into the entrance hall. She’s about to tell him off for his language until she sees him holding open his backpack…which is filled with shit. Eddie and Stan are standing covering their noses while Bill and Richie are inspecting the backpack.

“What on earth?” Maggie asks, making the boys jump. They turn to her and Stanley loudly professes,” Henry put poo in Richie’s backpack, Maggie!”

“We can’t tell if it’s animal or human, though.” Richie informs her and Maggie takes the bag from him, screwing up her face as she just throws it in the trash.

“It doesn’t matter either way. Now, all four of you, go wash your hands please.” Maggie tells them, and they comply almost instantly. She’s fuming, but she won’t let them know that. She just washes her hands at the faucet and then continues to make them some snacks.

When Wentworth gets home, she opens up the trash can and shows him the backpack. He’s so stunned at first that he laughs and says,” happy birthday to me, I’ve got a shit covered backpack in my trash. What the fuck is up with that stupid ass kid? Even his dad wasn’t that bad!”

“He’s psychotic.” Maggie sighs, closing the trash can before she’s pulling her husband in for a kiss.” How was work, birthday boy?”

“I feel old as hell.” Wentworth says, smiling up at her as he wraps his arms around her waist, hers around his shoulders.

“Hmm I personally think the streaks of grey in your sideburns and the crows feet by your eyes are sexy as hell, Dr Tozier.” Maggie grins and Wentworth kisses her once again, deepening it and sighing against her mouth. However, they pull apart when they hear,” oh gross. Not when I had friends over!” from the kitchen doorway. Wentworth laughs and untangles himself from his wife before he’s rushing to his son and pulling him into a tight hug.

“Less of the gross, mister. You’ll be sickly in love one of these days.” Went tells him; and Richie flushes bright pink as he declares a grossed out,” nuh uh, pops! Girls are gross.”

“I said the same thing at your age.” Wentworth tells him, ruffling his hair. Richie giggles and then turns to Maggie and asks,” mom, now that dad’s home, can we order the pizzas?”

“Girls are gross, says the boy who came home with literal crap in his backpack.” Maggie states and Richie grins innocently at her.” Less of the misogyny in this house, Richard. Now, go and get the boys so I can order pizzas.”

Dinner is loud, and rowdy, which isn’t a shock as it’s usually like that when all four boys are under their roof. After dinner, they take a moment for Wentworth to open some gifts, which is mostly just clothes and a new wallet. Then, Richie’s allowed to open his gifts from his friends; and he gets a lot of new toys and Muppets memorabilia that he’s running out of space for. Together, Maggie and Wentworth hand over his main present to him, and he tears at the wrapping paper like a feral animal. He gasps as he stares at the guitar in his hands.

“My old one that you play is so busted up now, and you seem to have a real interest in wanting to play. So we figured we’d get you your own.” Wentworth tells him.

“I’m gonna be the first rock and roll singer from Derry!” He tells his friends, and Maggie smiles at that. When Richie had turned six, he’d been gifted some hand puppets. He’d declared that he’d wanted to be a ventriloquist in the exact same way he’s just declared he wants to be a singer. She always wants him to dream big.

Richie loves his cake. He always loves his cake, but this specific one brings out a big smile on his face. They all sing for him, he blows his candles out, and then he’s rushing off to grab the ‘40’ candles for Wentworth. Went grimaces as Maggie lights them, and then they all sing again, and he grins as he blows his candles out; Richie not bothering to complain when his dad pulls his mom in for a loving kiss. They’ve never been shy of PDA, Richie’s friends are used to it by now. They don’t even bat an eye.

Even though they’re supposed to be watching their horror movie, the boys are incredibly loud in the basement. They can hear Richie playing on his guitar, Eddie screeching in horror about something, Bill attempting to sing along to what Richie is playing and Stan snapping at them to ‘shut the fuck up before we get told off!’ They don’t get told off until it’s past midnight, and Maggie and Wentworth have been trying to go to sleep for hours. Wentworth heads down to tell them it’s time to go to sleep, and when he returns back to bed, he cuddles up to his wife and becomes dead to the world immediately.

Maggie, however, cannot sleep. She cradles her snoozing husband, playing with his thinning hair as she watches the clock turn from one am to two. And then, that fear hits her again, a voice telling her that something is going to happen to her son, something bad. Slowly, and carefully, she gets out of bed; not bothering to throw on her bath robe and slippers as she makes her way down the stairs. She tip toes down the stairs that lead to the basement, and she lets out a sigh of relief when she sees all four boys fast asleep and safe. Bill and Stan are on one mattress, fast asleep with their backs touching. While, Richie and Eddie are asleep on the other mattress. Eddie’s clinging to Richie like a koala, Richie’s raggedy Kermit in his own arms. Eddie is snoring as loudly as ever, and Richie looks so content that the panic in Maggie’s chest subsides.

That next Monday, she talks to the principal about the crap in the backpack situation. The principal, as per usual, just waves her off, saying that there’s no evidence, and that it’ll be a ‘he said, she said’ situation, and that ‘boys will be boys’. Maggie is furious, she hates that phrase, and that’s always his answer when her son is suffering!

July 1989

This is the first summer that Richie’s spent mostly outside with his friends. The group has gone from four to seven, adding in the new kid Ben Hanscom, little Mikey Hanlon and Alvin Marsh’s girl, Beverly. Maggie sees them sometimes while she’s at work, riding around on their bikes like they’re the only seven people on earth. She doesn’t know what they get up to, but she can’t help the pit in her stomach and the fear flaring in her chest as more kids go missing and her son rides around town without a care in the world. She can’t put him on house arrest. She isn’t Sonia Kaspbrak.

Last week, there was a fight of some kind. Eddie ended up hurt, Richie ended up running his mouth saying some shit about Georgie in a moment of anger because he cares about Eddie more than almost anyone on this earth, and Bill had punched him. Maggie hadn’t appreciated her son coming home with a bloodied chin, and she’d threatened to call the Denbrough’s and make Bill apologise. Richie had told her not to bother, that he was done with Bill Denbrough and his shit ideas of how to spend their summer. She scolds him not only for his language, but for what he said to Bill, also as it had been cruel. Richie had just shrugged.

The group split. Eddie’s well and truly under house arrest, and so the only person Richie sees is Stanley. They attend the boys Bar Mitzvah, of which he cusses out Donald and leaves. Maggie can’t remember Teddy Uris all that well anymore, but the more Stanley grows, the more she can see his uncle in him. It makes her a little sad when she sees him sometimes, in the same way that Wentworth gets this melancholic look on his face when he sees Eddie.

Richie had consoled Stanley after his outburst, while Maggie had consoled Donald. She knows he’s tough on Stan, and he knows it’s because he’s scared. 27 years ago, his little brother died, and they didn’t have a body to bury. She nudges Donald’s shoulder with her own, reassures him that everything will work out, and tells him to relax a little when it comes to his son. Donald thanks her for being his voice of reason yet again.

The day starts out like it normally does. Maggie makes breakfast for herself and Wentworth, and then she leaves a breakfast sandwich in the fridge for Richie when he wakes up. He’s been sleeping in a lot more now that he’s not hanging out with his friends. Went kisses her goodbye as he leaves to go to work, and Maggie gets ready for work herself before she’s heading to Richie’s room and saying goodbye to him. He’s still asleep, so she kisses his temple, smooths down his hair, and then leaves him some money for the arcade. He spends most of his days in that arcade and she’s sure it isn’t healthy for him.

The lunch rush starts the moment Maggie enters the diners kitchen. She loves when there’s a rush, it keeps her occupied, and she smiles as she cooks. It truly is her passion, Wentworth tells her she could do it professionally all the time. She never went to culinary school, though, she’s just been working at the diner since she was fifteen.

Her shift is done around three pm, and on her drive home, she spots her son walking home alone, hunched over in a way to make himself seem smaller. He’s 5’1, he doesn’t need to look any smaller than he is, and he looks absolutely terrified. His hands re in his pockets and he looks extremely guarded and rattled. Maggie pulls over the car and rolls her window down, and Richie jumps out of his skin.

“Need a ride?” She asks and he nods, rushing around to the passengers side and getting in. His jeans are covered in grass stains and he’s shaking like a leaf.” Are you okay?”

“I just want to go home.” Richie mumbles, and Maggie nods as she begins to drive again. It doesn’t go unnoticed that her son closes his eyes when they pass the Paul Bunyan statue, and Maggie’s concern for him is growing more and more by the second.

He secludes himself in his room when they get home, and she can hear him crying softly on the other side of his closed door. She knocks, wanting to comfort him, but he just tells her to go away. So, she does as he wishes, dread building and building in her stomach, twisting up in knots she can’t untangle. Just like she has done since Georgie Denbrough went missing, Margaret Tozier has yet another panic attack in her bedroom. Panic claws at her throat like a wild animal, and she struggles to take in any breath, so much fear is clogging up her mind and she doesn’t even know what she’s afraid of! She just wants her son to be safe. Eventually, when it passes, she secludes herself in her room as well, and Wentworth comes home to an incredibly quiet house.

August 1989

Richie didn’t come home at dinner. He didn’t come home at 7pm. He isn’t home now, and it’s nearing seven in the morning. Maggie hasn’t slept, she’s pacing her living room, bathrobe wrapped tight around her trembling body. She can’t stop crying, her eyes are red and puffy, and she keeps getting a phantom pain over her right eyelid. She’s giving it another hour until she calls the cops. She doesn’t trust cops, that’s why she hasn’t called yet, but as the clock ticks ever on, her worry is becoming far too much. Wentworth is sitting on the couch, cup of coffee in hand, exhausted and tearful; and he just watches as his wife paces the living room.

She’s pelted him with ‘what-if’s’. What if he’s hurt? What if he’s at his friend’s houses (they’d called the Uris’ and the Denbrough’s but they’d said Bill and Stanley weren’t home either)? What if they’d fallen asleep in their clubhouse and just hadn’t told them? What if he’s dead? What if the thing that’s been scaring her since she was thirteen, that unnamed being she can’t picture in her mind, what if it’s killed her son? They should call the cops, really they should, but the cops in Derry don’t do a single productive thing. She’s about five minutes from going out and searching for him herself.

The front door opens when the clock hits seven thirty, and the two practically sprint into the entrance hall. Richie is walking in, covered in grime and stinking like a sewer, and he looks exhausted as he slips his shoes off. He yelps as his mother pulls him into a hug, not caring that he smells bad. She’s just glad her baby is safe in her arms.

“Don’t you ever, ever, scare us like that again, oh my god!” Maggie breathes out, cupping her son’s face in her hands. He stares at her with wide eyes, and then she hugs him again.” Where on earth were you?! We haven’t slept, we called your friend’s parents! We didn’t know where any of you were!”

“Sorry.” Richie says, voice muffled against her shoulder as Wentworth also joins the hug. He’s shaking a little and Richie clings to his parents like a lifeline.” We fell asleep in the clubhouse.”

“You need to let us know next time. Find a phone booth. Please just don’t ever scare me like that again!” Maggie tells him and she fees him nod against her.” Go and take a shower, you stink. And get some sleep, you look dead on your feet!”

All three of them sleep until well into the early afternoon. When Maggie wakes up, she cuts off a slice of Mississippi Mud Pie that they were supposed to have after dinner last night, and she carefully takes it upstairs with a glass of milk. Richie’s still asleep when she enters his room, which is a mess currently, and she steps over dirty underwear and piles of comic books, and gently nudges her son awake. He yawns and stares at her, and then he spots the pie in her hands and grins. As he happily eats his pie, Maggie sits beside him, resting her head against his own. She’s a lot calmer now. In almost a year, she’s felt nothing but panic, fear and dread, and the moment Richie had crossed the threshold into their house this morning, tranquility fell over her. She kisses the top of his hair and he smiles and offers her some of his pie. She grins and eats it.

October 1989

There are a lot of things that Margie Tozier doesn’t like about herself. She’s forty years old now, and her insecurities haven’t changed much. She hates the scars on her right eyelid, she hates that she uses humour to deflect how she truly feels, and she’s always struggled with her image and her looks. Wentworth tells her everyday that she’s beautiful, the boy she can’t remember had called her pretty, and sometimes she allows herself to believe it. Mostly, though, she hates how quiet and aloof she can get. She hates that her grief can cause her to lock herself away. And right now, she hates that her son has developed her coping mechanisms.

Ever since the summer, he’s been shut off from his parents. He’s snappy and angry and spends most of his time with his friends, and if he’s not with them, then he’s locked up in his room wallowing. Maggie wants him to let her in, she’s desperate to connect with her son again. She doesn’t know who this boy is, its like he’s a stranger. It’s like she’s looking into a mirror, seeing herself at his age, struggling in similar ways, and she despises it.

Halloween is usually Richie’s favourite time of year, but tonight, he’s in his room with Eddie. He’s playing the guitar and Eddie is laughing loudly at something, and it’s nice to hear that the two are happy…but Richie isn’t being like that with his parents. In fact, when Eddie goes home, Richie goes back to being a recluse. Maggie waits outside of his door, and can hear him strumming the chords to Kokomo softly on the other side. She raps her knuckles against the door and she hears him hum in acknowledgment, allowing her inside. The room is an absolute bomb site and she just sighs as she looks at it. Richie blinks at her and then goes back to playing the guitar.

“If you’re just gonna complain about the mess of my room, then you can get out.” He states and Maggie’s taken aback by his tone.

“Richard!” She gasps and he mock gasps out a,” Margaret!”

“Okay, I know that your friend left and that you’re upset about that, but this has gone on for long enough!” She snaps at him and he rolls his eyes as he fiddles around with a few chord progressions. Beverly had moved away at the end of summer, and the boys haven’t been the same since.” Can you put that down when I’m talking to you, please?”

“Oh you’re such a fucking hypocrite!” Richie scoffs, putting his guitar down and crossing his arms over his chest, frowning up at his mother. Maggie’s never felt anger towards her child, not once, but this…this hurts.” You always do this. You lock yourself away when you’re depressed, well guess what, mother, I’m depressed. So I’m locking myself away. I want to be left alone!”

“That’s not healthy.” Maggie tells him and he rolls his eyes again.” I’m being serious, Richie! You keep shutting your father and I out, but you’re fine with your friends. We’re worried about you.”

“You wouldn’t get it, they do!” Richie says and it sounds so similar to what she’d said to her own mother at his age. But her mother didn’t care for her, not really. Not the way she cares about Richie.” Can you just get the fuck out of my room?”

“I was going to say you could watch a horror movie with your father and I tonight, but I won’t bother.” Maggie sighs before she’s leaving his room, closing his door gently behind her before she’s storming downstairs with tears in her eyes. Wentworth’s waiting at the bottom of the stairs, and he pulls her into a hug.” He never speaks to you like that!”

“You’re just very similar, Maggie Moo. Don’t take it to heart, he’s just being a teenager.” Wentworth tells her, kissing her cheek softly.

“I thought we had at least one more year until the teenage angst hit. Guess I was wrong.” Maggie mumbles and Went rubs her back as he asks,” do you want me to try?”

“Go ahead.” She sighs, and Went gives her a smile before he’s heading off upstairs to talk with their son.

Eventually, Richie joins them downstairs for a horror movie. Wentworth pops some popcorn, and Richie apologises to Maggie for how he spoke to her. He allows her to hug him, and then the three pile onto the couch to watch the movie; Richie holding the popcorn on his lap and smiling as his mom plays with his hair. There are reflection of herself that she sees in him, and even if she hates it, it’s something she’s going to have to live with.

April 1990

“Marge, your boy and his friends are in.” Says old Lee, who usually works the cash register and is kind of their host. He’s been working here since Maggie was about twelve.  It’s insane to think that she’s forty one and he’s still here now.

“Thank you, I’ll be out to take their order soon!” Maggie tells him, but Lee chuckles and just says,” there’s no need, it’ll be their usual.”

Two large fries to share, six milkshakes, a chicken burger for Richie, and a hot dog for Ben. Maggie snorts to herself as she begins to prepare their food. Their order has never changed, not once, and she grins to Mae; who’s on milkshake duty. Once it’s all ready, Maggie gathers it onto a tray and makes her way over to the six. Her breath hitches every single time she sees Mike. He’s the spitting image of his father, in the same way that Eddie reflects Frank, and Stan reflects Teddy. Her son’s friends remind her of that year she can’t remember, the memories like echoes in her mind. She sighs, forces a smile, and places down their food. Richie is squished up against Eddie, winding him up by messing up his gelled hair.

“Are you paying for this today or am I?” Maggie asks her son, and he responds in a bad British accent with,” why, dear mother of mine, who do you take me for?”

“A scrounger.” Maggie responds. Eddie giggles at Richie’s side while Stan grins smugly at him. Richie rolls his eyes.” You can always take some shifts here, I was only a bit older than you when I started working here.”

“Ma, come on, not the employment talk while we’re mourning Bill!” Richie states, and Maggie looks to Bill with a raised brow. He flushes and explains with,” we’re muh-muh-moving in a muh-month-th. It’s hard wih-wih-wih-without Juh-Georgie.”

“That’s understandable, sweetheart. We’ll miss you, though.” Maggie tells him, and Bill grins as he says,” I’ll muh-miss you guys, tuh-too!”

“Oh, I’m paying by the way, Maggie!” Stanley informs her when she goes to head back to the kitchen. Stanley’s recently gotten a part time job at the same grocery store that his dad and Wentworth had worked in, at only 13 years old. Maggie had informed her son that he’s 14 and should probably start looking for a job, too. Richie had just shrugged her off.

“Ass kisser!” Richie says to Stan, who flips him off. Maggie chuckles and just says,” don’t worry, Stan. I can pay for you guys.”

“Thanks, Mrs Tozier!” The boys, except Richie (who calls her mom) and Stan (who calls her Maggie), all chorus, and Mike grins to her happily as she gives him a small smile back. Then, she manages to make her way back to the kitchen.

With the news of Bill leaving, Maggie worries that Richie’s going to close himself off again. And when May rolls around, and The Denbrough’s leave Derry, she’s proven right. Richie locks himself away for a week and a half. When he re-emerges, he’s even had a tiny growth spurt, which Wentworth jokes about. Maggie just hopes that none of his friends leave until after they do. She’s staying in Derry until Richie graduates, he’s too far into his school career to up and leave now.

December 1990

Richie’s been growing like crazy. Last month he was just shorter than his dad, who’s 5’6, and now he’s just taller than him. For a 14 year old, he’s quite tall for his age, taking after the Truman boys. Maggie herself is 5’11 and her older brothers are 6’2 and 6’3. Mike’s quite tall for his age, even taller than Richie is, standing at 5’9 while Richie’s a solid 5’7. It’s funny watching the two putting the ornaments on the tree while Eddie stands on his tip toes and struggles to reach the branches that are higher up. He’s 15 years old and 5’3, still a tiny little thing like his dad had been, and Maggie grins as she brings in hot chocolate for them all. Went grins excitedly and instantly rushes over to grab his, like he’s still a child and not almost 42 years of age.

“Thank you, my dear wife, love of my life!” He says as he presses a kiss to her nose and then sips on his drink. The boys all grab theirs and look at their handiwork so far. They just need a few more ornaments and then the star on top and they were done.

“Drink from your own mug!” Eddie shrieks as Richie snatches his hot chocolate and takes a sip. He grins smugly and says,” come on, Eddie my love, sharing is caring!”

“So take some of Mike’s, too, then!” Eddie tells him, taking his mug back and elbowing him in the ribs. Richie chuckles and Mike hands him his mug. They spend a while swapping drinks even though they’re all the same, and then they continue to decorate the tree.

Richie and Eddie squabble over who gets to put the star on the top of the tree, but Maggie ends the argument pretty quickly by giving the star to Mike. He thanks her happily and places the star on the tree. Then, the three boys pose in front of their finished product and Maggie snaps a photo of them on her camera.

Wentworth turns the music up on their record player, and then grabs his wife by the hand, spinning her around the room to Merry Christmas, Baby by The Beach Boys, singing along happily. Maggie laughs, her heart soaring with love as her husband sings to her, shimmying around with her whilst the three boys dance along, too. They’ve got wide smiles on their faces, and they’re laughing as they dance together. At the end of the song, Wentworth pulls some mistletoe out of his pocket and holds it out for his wife, who rolls her eyes and kisses him softly. She notices Richie glancing to Eddie, and then her son pretends to act disgusted by his parents as if to cover up the fact that he was ever looking at Eddie at all.

March 1992

Maggie spends a long time on the morning of March 7th 1992 just staring at her son. Her suddenly very grown up son. He’s sixteen now, almost an adult, and he’s so tall. She watches as he talks with Eddie, Stan, Ben and Mike (who’s 6’0 already and only 15) as they manoeuvre around the basement; having their annual sleepover. He’s almost as tall as her now. He’s 5’10, he’s gangly and doesn’t quite fit into his height yet. His voice is getting deeper, his hair is curlier and he’s looking more and more like his father by the second. He’s got a part time job at the Capitol theatre, she and Wentworth have somewhat been teaching him to drive at the weekends, and he’s probably the funniest young man she knows.

“I feel old.” Wentworth had said that morning when they’d just woken up, cuddling in bed and incredibly emotional over their son turning 16. Wentworth’s 43 today, too, and Maggie turned 43 in January. It’s been thirty years since that fateful year of 1962, and her life is relatively okay. Her son is 16 and alive and the funniest kid on earth, and she’s so grateful.

Currently, her son is winding up little Eddie Kaspbrak. Little Eddie Kaspbrak, who is currently making her husband tear up just at the sight of him. He’s growing to look more and more like his father, too, as the years go on. His hair is curly, but his mother makes him gel it down. His baby fat is nearly gone, instead displaying high cheek bones and a pretty killer jawline. He’s old Hollywood handsome, like Frank had been, and Maggie’s shocked that the girls at school aren’t falling over their feet to date him, like they were with Frank when they were in Highschool. He’d already had a few girlfriends by this point, but then again, she hasn’t known Eddie to be all that interested in dating, he’s mostly wrapped up in whatever Richie is doing. Eddie’s got a spout of acne, like his father had at that age, and his voice is deep. Deeper than Richie’s is, which is still breaking. He’s 5’7, taller than Went is now, and Maggie knows that Wentworth’s chest aches every single time he catches a glimpse of that boy.

It’s the same for her with Mike. He looks exactly like Will did at fifteen, albeit a lot taller. She’s sure the height came from Charlotte’s side of the family, she remembers Will’s uncles being quite tall. Thanks to the farm work, he’s quite broad, too…but it’s his smile that always gets her. Anytime Mike Hanlon smiles at her, full of laughter and kindness, she’s reminded of Will, and her heart gives a painful ache. She just feels blessed that Mike is in her life, that he’s best friends with her own son and she gets to see him as frequently as she does.

Richie gets a lot of clothes this year for his birthday, and a few action figures too. He’s got alot of neon windbreakers and a few band Tshirts, and he’s thrilled with his little haul. And then he opens his main present from his parents. The box is small, and he raises a curious brow as he opens it, before he gasps and retrieves the object inside, dropping the empty box onto the floor.

“Holy shit!” He gasps, holding the keys up and grinning so wide it looks painful.” My own one? I thought I was sharing with dad?”

“I wouldn’t want to share a car with you, son, no offence. We just said that to throw you off our trail.” Wentworth tells him with a chuckle, and then he’s leading the boys up through the house and out into the garage.

Maggie’s car is parked on the street, while Went’s is on the driveway. In the garage is a secondhand, cherry red, 1970s convertible Ford Mustang. Richie’s in floods of tears the moment he spots it, and then he’s throwing his arms around his parents before the five boys are all trying to pile inside the car; loud and rowdy. Maggie and Went grin as she tells them not to scratch the paintwork; and then they let Richie know that he’s having some professional driving lessons starting next week. He thanks them over and over again.

His cake this year is a simple one. It’s decorated with mini guitars and is a chocolate cake, his favourite. Richie grins as his friends sing to him, he blows out his candles, and then he’s grabbing the candles for Wentworth. They sing to him, too, and he blows out his candles before they’re all eating the cake and making their way back down to the basement. Instantly, Richie and Wentworth are over to their respective instruments. Went taps at his cymbals and Richie tunes up his guitar, and then he’s strumming the first few chords of Landslide and Maggie tenses. Richie grins and then begins to play Rainbow Connection from The Muppet Movie. Went chuckles and plays the soft drum beat, and they all sing along together. But, no one’s louder than Eddie is.

May 1993

Gold Dust Woman by Fleetwood Mac plays out of the stereo as Maggie manoeuvres around the kitchen, sliding her glasses up her face (she hasn’t worn contacts for a while now). Honestly, cooking calms her. It’s one of her most favourite things on Earth, and she loves nothing more than feeding her boys. Wentworth is upstairs, gathering some laundry to do, and Maggie hums along to the music as she chops up some carrots. She jumps when Wentworth walks into the room, haunted look on his face, and some items in his hands that she cannot see.

“Everything okay, my love?” She asks, and with shaking hands, he places down a magazine and a box of cigarettes on top of the counter.” What on earth is this?”

“I made the mistake of going into a seventeen year old boys bedroom to gather some laundry and found something I wish I hadn’t.” Wentworth admits and Maggie takes a closer look at the items. The magazine is a porno…a gay porno. Maggie glances up at Wentworth and says,” well…I’m not surprised. He’s never had a girlfriend or anything. I just…I wish he’d come and talk to us about it.”

“Do we…bring it up?” Went asks. Maggie considers their option for a second. They could bring it up, ask him about it outright, and frighten him off. It’s always better for him to come to them, for him to seek them out. She doesn’t want to frighten him. So, they could just leave it and let him tell them in his own time.

“He’s seventeen, we should’ve given him the sex talk already, no matter if he’s gay or straight or not.” Maggie replies with a sigh.” If…if we just give him the birds and the bee’s talk, it could lead into that conversation. Let it flow naturally.”

“That sounds good.” Wentworth sighs, slowly picking the items back up.” I’m not shocked he smokes either, you can smell it on him. He does a terrible job of hiding it.”

“He’s your son, that’s for sure.” Maggie chuckles as she remembers how Went was at that age. A stoner, mostly, but he’d smoke often, too. Wentworth grins at her and then heads back off upstairs.

Richie’s been working weekends at the Capitol Theatre for the past year, and he’s been loving it. Maggie finishes making dinner just in time for him to come home, and he sits happily at the table, ready to eat. She’s kind of sad that they’re probably about to ruin his mood. Richie can sense that something is off with his parents, and he looks to the two, incredibly confused. Maggie and Wentworth glance at one another as well, and then look back to their son.

“So, son, we’ve noticed that there’s one milestone we didn’t cover with you.” Wentworth begins and Maggie cringes slightly at his wording. Richie just stares blankly at him and goes,” okay, and that is?”

“The sex talk.” Wentworth simply responds, ripping it off like a bandaid. Richie goes wide eyed and looks to Maggie, as if he’s asking her to help him to get out of this conversation.

“It’s just…your dad and I were talking earlier, and we know a few of your friends have had girlfriends and we just…we’ve never given you the talk or anything, and we probably need to.” Maggie explains. Only one friend has had an actual girlfriend and that was Stanley, for a little while. Mike’s had a few dates and even Ben had been getting himself out there before he had left Derry a few months back. It’s just Richie and Eddie who don’t seem to be all that fussed. Richie flushes bright red.” You’re a young man, Rich. It’s…normal to have these…these urges-

“Oh my God!” Richie groans in horror, covering his face with his hands.” Mom, I’m not having sex!”

“Okay, well, this is for when you eventually do, okay? It’s a normal conversation to have between parent and child.” Maggie informs him, and he rolls his eyes.”  You’re seventeen, it’s normal to be sexually active-

“God knows we were at that age.” Wentworth comments and Richie lets out a horrified,” Jesus, dad, I don’t need to know that!” as his dad laughs at his success of winding him up.

“Anyway, the point is, Richie, that we want you to be safe if you’re having sex, okay?” Maggie states and Richie groans again, grimacing.” This is Derry, a small town in Maine, they probably aren’t teaching you much in health class. As your parents we need to know that you know and understand the risks of unprotected sex.”

“Yes, mom, I do. But, I’m not having sex yet, I swear.” Richie tells them, and then they look to one another and give a little satisfied nod. Maggie reaches over and takes Richie’s hand into her own, and she says,” alright, sweetheart. Is there anything you wanna ask? Or tell us, maybe? We’re here to talk, always. You know this.”

Richie just stares at her, eyes searching her face for something. He opens his mouth, as if he’s about to speak, and then he shakes his head; removing his hand from hers and going back to quietly eating his dinner. Maggie sighs and glances to her husband, who looks at their son with so much worry that it’s a little sad to look at. She always thought she’d made this house a safe space for her son to tell her anything, but, clearly she had failed at that.

June 1994

Maggie can remember the first ever lunch she made for Richie for school. She can remember driving him there, kissing his forehead and watching him go off into his class with Stanley; beaming bright despite the tantrum he’d thrown that morning. She remembers how she’d felt. The fear that he’d just cry all day for her, the way she’d missed him like crazy all day, the relief she’d felt seeing his laughing face when she’d picked him up from the Uris’ that day, tucked under Frank Kaspbrak’s arm and being swung around.

Now, though, she’s feeling a whole load of different emotions, seeing her son onstage at graduation, in his cap and gown, eighteen years old and so tall and so grown up; giving his valedictorian speech. Her son was valedictorian, her baby. She’s so insanely proud of him, and she and Went laugh at his speech…watery laughs full of so much pride.

They’re immediately wrapping him in a hug the minute that graduation is over. He laughs at them, telling them to stop crying, but his eyes are full of tears as well. They get a photo of him, Eddie, Stanley and Mike; and then Andrea gets a photo of the two of them with their son. Richie’s the same height as his mom now, and he’s still growing, so she just allows herself to look into his eyes before she has to look up at him for the rest of her life.

The Uris’ are hosting a graduation party, and Richie’s doing his classic tactic of winding Eddie up. He’s trying to steal his food off of his little paper plate and Eddie’s shrieking in protest. Stan’s rolling his eyes and trying to ignore them, Mike watches them with a sad smile. He’s staying in Derry while the others are getting out and going off to college. Eddie’s off to NYU, Stan’s going to Augusta University, and Richie’s off to Stanford. Maggie grabs a devilled egg and heads over to stand beside Mike.

“I’m gonna miss them, too.” Maggie tells him. She and Wentworth aren’t following Richie just yet. They’re staying in Derry and saving up some money before they move out to California to be with their son. Plus, Wentworth is still busy with work. Mike looks at her and smiles.” You know, you’re always welcome at ours even if Richie’s not there anymore, right?”

“Really?” Mike asks and Maggie nods with a small smile.” I never thanked you for treating me the same as all of Richie’s other friends, I know I joined the group late but you and Wentworth never made me feel like less of a friend because of that.”

“You were one of Richie’s first friends.” Maggie informs him, and he looks at her, a little confused.” Your dad and I were best friends, did you know that?” He shakes his head.” Well, we were. When your mom and I realised we were going to have babies around the same time, we vowed to see eachother weekly. And we did, up until you and Richie were around a year old. Life just got busy and…and I regret not keeping in contact with your parents, I really do. Maybe, when you come for dinner some time, I could tell you stories about them?”

“I’d like that.” Mike beams, and Maggie pulls him into a tight hug before her son is coming over to her and dragging her attention onto him.

“I got you something!” He’s telling her, rushing outside to his car. She follows with a chuckle and he grabs a badly wrapped gift from the trunk, heading over to her and passing the gift over.” For being the best mom a boy could ask for.”

Maggie snorts a laugh as she unwraps the gift. Inside is a red sweater with the Stanford logo, and Maggie giggles before she’s pulling her baby into a hug. He holds onto her tightly, tells her that he loves her, and then presses a kiss to the top of her head.

July 1996

Richie had gotten his avoidant and reclusive habits from his mother, but when he still lived at home, they could bug him into talking to them. He’s been at college for two years, he’s lonely (they know that for a fact), and he barely ever calls home because he’s ashamed of that fact. So, when he does call home this time, Maggie’s surprised. His memories of Derry are fuzzy, and they truly are planning to move to be with him soon.

“I just hate it, mama, I hate it!” Richie’s crying down the phone, Maggie glancing to Wentworth, who’s listening in beside her.” I have zero friends, I hate my major, my roommates an asshole. I…I’m gonna drop out.”

“Okay, sweetheart, if that’s what you want.” Maggie sighs and Richie sniffles as he says,” don’t do that!” And Maggie asks him,” do what?” to which he replies with,” sigh like that! Like you’re disappointed with me!”

“I’m not disappointed with you, sweetie. I just…I’m worried about you, that’s all. It’s normal for your father and I to worry.” She tells him and he lets out a small sob.” Why don’t you come home for a little while, huh? Then we can rethink and reassess and head off somewhere else together?”

“I got a job here, ma. I can’t just give that up.” Richie tells her.” I…I gotta go. Thanks for listening to me ramble. Love you, tell dad I love him, too!”

“We love you, Rich-“ She’s saying, but he’s hung up before she can finish. Maggie sighs and places the phone back down on the receiver. And then she falls into Wentworth’s open arms and cries. She worries over her son a lot more now than she has since he was 13 years old.

She’d always wanted him to dream big. As a child, he wanted to be a ventriloquist, obsessed with the muppets and all things Jim Henson. As a teenager, he was enamoured with the guitar, and got really good at playing the instrument, too. He wanted to be the first rock and roll singer from Derry, but that dream died, too. So, he got into Stanford as an English Literature major, and that dreams died before it’s even allowed to set sail. She doesn’t know what’s in store for her son next, but they’ll both support him no matter what, she knows that.