Chapter Text
December 3rd, 17:32
For the first time in ten years, Suguru was waiting for a first date.
Despite being well into his twenties (twenty-eight was just around the corner, now) Suguru was uniquely inexperienced in the dating world. He was in a decade-long relationship with his college sweetheart, Satoru. Other people referred to his ex-boyfriend by his surname “Gojo,” which itself was a title that commanded respect in the world of finance. The name “Gojo” came attached with wealth, power, and legacy — all three of which Suguru lacked. Now that Suguru was on his own, he was determined to try and rebuild himself. However, in his solitude, Suguru had started to realize how much he relied on Satoru for a comfortable lifestyle. Dating a Gojo meant never having to look at bills, never having to budget for rent and utilities, and living a relatively care-free life that only required sitting still and looking pretty. But those days were over, and Suguru needed to move on.
Word got around that Suguru and “Gojo” had called it quits and within a week, Suguru saw his DM’s and inboxes flooded with old classmates, colleagues, and extended acquaintances asking when he was free, if he’d like to get coffee, maybe give a chance to a nice guy. Alphas, betas, and even omegas — their desires were indiscriminate when it came to Suguru, the omega who had captured the notoriously aloof Gojo’s affections. Nearly everyone wanted to take a bite out of Gojo’s leftovers. Or at least, that was what Suguru cynically thought to himself until he saw a familiar name pop up in an Instagram story reply. It was from his old underclassman Haibara, complimenting a picture of book Suguru uploaded. It said: “Cute!! Just like u!!”
Suguru remembers the first time he met Haibara. It was the first day of his second year. Suguru and Satoru were both tasked to introduce themselves to the new first-years and guide them around campus. Haibara immediately attached himself to Suguru and soon enough, Haibara was following his upperclassman around campus, offering to carry his books or take him to a cafe nearby. Suguru had initially brushed it aside, dismissing Haibara as an overly eager beta who wanted to stake his claim on an omega, only to be pleasantly surprised to discover that Haibara was an alpha. Suddenly, the attention was flattering. But before Suguru could give Haibara a chance, Satoru would start tailing Suguru around and refused to give Suguru and Haibara a moment to themselves. Satoru would privately call Haibara “mousy” and “obnoxious,” and asked why Suguru was even giving Haibara any attention at all. It took months of arguing back-and-forth until Suguru realized that Satoru had been scenting him against his will and effectively warded off any alphas from approaching Suguru. Finally, when Suguru couldn’t take the embarrassment of being scented anymore, he confronted Satoru only to find out that he was feeling jealous of the way Suguru was reciprocating Haibara’s interest and admitted he wanted Suguru to himself. It was after that fight that they started officially dating.
But that was ten years ago, and now there was no possessive alpha following around anymore. Suguru was free as a bird.
So he and Haibara arranged to meet up at a cafe somewhere in Ginza. Neither of them called it officially a date, but Suguru still felt butterflies in his stomach. He planned his outfit the night before, and laid out his clothes in preparation like some schoolgirl getting ready to meet her crush. He was dressed in a dark navy wool coat that hugged his waist and fell right above his ankles. Underneath, he wore pressed plaid pants and an ironed white button up. Despite being an omega, Suguru didn’t want his secondary gender to define him and usually dressed rather masculinely. He liked the way pressed clothes would hug his body and accentuate his slender figure, giving him a more elegant look rather than the typical omegan feminine and juvenile appearance. Suguru was already somewhat tall for an omega, but it didn’t matter when Satoru was by his side. Satoru was well above six feet, and dwarfed most people by comparison. Haibara, however, was a little closer in height to Suguru. Suguru didn’t mind, but he wondered if Haibara would.
“Senpai!”
Suguru looked up to see Haibara, waving from the other side of the street. Haibara also came dressed in a pressed, black wool coat and grey slacks. His hair was neatly groomed, giving him the appearance of a young, bright-eyed man rather than an eager young boy. His shoes, however, were a pair of clean trendy sneakers that gave away his youthfulness. It was how Haibara kept his boyish handsomeness.
Suguru felt himself take a deep breath. Was he really this anxious to meet Haibara? The same little first-year that would follow him around like some puppy? It had been years since he last felt any excitement like this. He bit his lip, an unconscious habit he developed to calm his nerves, and returned Haibara’s smile. Haibara beams back, quickening his pace as if he couldn’t bear to be further than arms reach from his beloved upperclassman.
When Haibara finally reached Suguru, he held Suguru into a tight hug. Suguru felt himself swept up in his embrace, his feet practically hovering the ground. Seems like his little underclassman had a growth spurt.
After a beat, Haibara gently releases Suguru. Suguru feels his feet plant gently back on the ground.
“Did I keep you too long?” Haibara asks. His big puppy eyes plead, apologetically.
“No, not at all.” Suguru responds, smiling warmly.
Haibara smiles, gleefully, as his hand seizes Suguru’s. Haibara begins to pull Suguru away. Haibara could barely contain his excitement.
“Do you like coffee?” Haibara asks, as he’s weaving Suguru through the crowded streets of students and swanky shoppers out and about.
“Yes!”
“Good, I’ve always wanted to take you to this cafe, since university!”
The cafe was, in fact, very lovely.
It was tucked away in a basement behind an alley. The inside was dimly lit with only a few seats at a bar, and a record player in the corner of the shop. The cafe itself was manned by one barista, who was already busy making a drip coffee. Suguru was pleasantly surprised. He had initially expected some trendy cafe serving dessert drinks with cream tops and picture-ready flavorless pastries, but he was impressed to see what exceptional taste Haibara had.
“What do you think? Do you like it?” There’s a clear nervousness in Haibara’s voice — his people pleasing tendencies survived through his adolescence.
“I love it, it’s very pretty.” Suguru says. He means it.
Haibara smiles in relief. He motions to take Suguru’s coat off and folds it in his arms. He takes out a seat for Suguru as well. How gentlemanly!
They spend the rest of their evening catching up on things. Or, at least Haibara does. He goes on about his days following graduation, working in different part-time jobs upon moving to Tokyo. He worked as a delivery boy, a convenience store worker, a retail clerk — just about every job non-white-collar job in existence. He finally found his footing working at a marketing firm. Turns out his boyish good looks and relentless eagerness made him the office’s favorite golden boy. Every once in a while, Haibara would stop himself to ask Suguru if he was talking too much. Suguru would respond that he just wanted to listen to Haibara, which was half of the truth, and smile sweetly. After the first hour and half, Haibara finally stopped himself.
“I’ve talked way too much about myself. Senpai, please, you go.”
“No! Please, I’m having so much fun listening to your stories.”
“No, my life is really dull now—“
“I promise, whatever it is, my life is definitely significantly more dull than yours.”
“That can’t be true, senpai, you and Gojo dated for so long. I’m sure you have some exciting stories about him!”
It was true, Suguru had a lot of entertaining stories that would surely embarrass the one and only Gojo, God’s gift to mankind. But Suguru really didn’t want to think about that right now.
So instead, Suguru leaned in and planted a gentle kiss on Haibara’s lips. It was a risky move, but there was nothing else he could think to do. Suguru closed his eyes, locked lips, and hoped to God that he wouldn’t open them to see Haibara embarrassed by his bold display. To his surprise, however, when Suguru broke their kiss, he opened his eyes to see Haibara’s face burning scarlet with confusion and unmistakable lust. His eyes were glossy, glazed over with a decade’s worth of pent up desire. Suguru barely registered when Haibara grabbed his arm, collected their belongings, and dragged him out of the cafe. In that moment, Haibara reminded Suguru of a boy on Christmas morning, restless and excited.
…
Haibara keeps a steady palm on Suguru’s waist as they shuffle inside of Haibara’s apartment. Once inside, Haibara takes Suguru’s coat, once again, and helps Suguru out of his shoes. With his feet bare, Suguru takes a step forward and looks around. It’s a spacious but modestly decorated apartment. The furniture looks sturdy and approachable with muted colors and plastic finishes — much like what you would find in Ikea’s catalogue. In the living room there was a huge TV, and a coffee table which was littered with discarded wrappers: clear indications that this was a bachelor’s nest. Haibara hands Suguru a pair of slippers before running to dispose of what was clearly last night’s convenience store dinner. Suguru takes a moment to inspect the slippers. They were feminine and frilly with pink fabric, but they were discolored at the soles with clear signs of wear and tear. Were these slippers that belonged to an ex? Or were they designated slippers for whichever omega Haibara would invite over? Either way, at least Suguru knew Haibara wasn’t a virgin.
Suguru puts the slippers on and makes his way over to the couch while Haibara digs through his fridge. When he’s done in the kitchen, Haibara comes over to join Suguru with two glasses of wine. Suguru chuckles to himself. He can’t help it but find it charming albeit juvenile how much Haibara is trying to come off as a mature working man with a refined palate, like all impressive alphas do. Truth be told, Suguru was a beer person and historically avoided wine even when Satoru tried to educate him on wine culture. “It’s a growing market in Japan!” Satoru would say. Still, Suguru takes a sip and smiles, maintaining the same facade of pleasantness to honor Haibara’s own performance.
Instead of following Suguru and taking a sip, Haibara sets his glass down on the coffee table and goes in for a kiss. His lips meets Suguru’s, and Suguru feels his lips part as Haibara’s tongue leeches inside, searching hungrily. Suguru can barely keep up with Haibara, and he feels his tongue enveloped by his. The kiss is sloppy, and Suguru tries to catch his breath in between momentary seconds when they part their lips only for Haibara to suckle on Suguru’s lower lips. It feels gross but oh so so so pleasant. Haibara reaches his palm behind Suguru’s neck, and Suguru could feel his fingers dig into his skin as Haibara started peppering desperate kisses down his neck and towards his chest.
Suddenly, Haibara stops. Confused, Suguru looks at Haibara and their eyes meet. Haibara looks frazzled and red, as if he’s been struck by lightning. Suguru could feel his chest rise and fall with short breaths, drool pooling at the end of his lips. He must be a sight right now.
“Am I going to fast? Is this okay?” Haibara asks.
“D-did you want to stop?”
“No! I just don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable.”
In response, Suguru gently lays his palm around Haibara’s hardened cock tenting under his slacks. He caresses it softly, mentally noting its impressive girth as he rubs his thumb under the tip.
Suguru decides to take the lead and pushes Haibara on the couch. He straddles his old underclassman, even grinding his ass on Haibara’s hard-on for good measure. Haibara is lost in desire, his eyes glazed over as if out of focus. Suguru smiles to himself. Feeling satisfied, he guides Haibara’s hands to his hips and then begins to unbutton his shirt in a sultry, practiced motion. He then guides Haibara’s hands to his chest and uses Haibara’s fingers to caress his nipples, moaning softly. Haibara begins to pant, his mouth opened and slack-jawed.
Then, Suguru slinks back onto his knees and slowly unbuckles Haibara’s slacks. He pulls down his black boxers to see Haibara’s genuinely impressive size. Suguru wets his lips and wraps them around the tip, using his tongue to circle around the head. Then, he takes the whole thing in his mouth, slowly, using his tongue to tease and stimulate as he inches down Haibara’s length when all of the sudden—
“Wait, stop, fuck—“
Haibara whips his free hands around to grab Suguru’s head when he violently jerks into his mouth. Suguru is caught off-guard and nearly chokes. There’s no way. Suguru is in denial until he feels a familiar hot wetness trickle down his throat.
No fucking way.
Suguru swallows Haibara’s come and tears his mouth away before a knot could form. Suguru watches as Haibara twitches in pleasure, his face twisted with shame.
“Are you… Was this your—“
“No! God, no! I’m not a virgin! Fuck—“
“It’s okay if you are.” Suguru meant it, even if he was a little disappointed.
“No, I’m actually really good in bed, but… I waited like ten years for this and you were way sexier than I thought you were gonna be… Fuck, I even practiced this morning.”
Suguru watches as Haibara runs towards the bathroom with shaky legs. Suguru doesn’t know whether or not he should be flattered that he was Haibara’s object of desire for a decade or that he apparently rehearsed for this moment. Either way, any sense of satisfaction Suguru felt was eclipsed by a feeling of emptiness. After weeks of celibacy, Suguru was prepared for what he thought was going to be a fiery night of passion to wash away his breakup blues.
Haibara returns with a small towel. He pauses in front of Suguru and sighs.
“Guess there was nothing to clean, huh?”
Haibara leaves, taking the towel with him.
He returns, once again, and dresses Suguru in a bathrobe. Suguru mentally notes its size which was noticeably too small for Haibara. Just like the slippers. At least this was definitive proof that Haibara was telling the truth.
Haibara puts his boxers back on and sits beside Suguru.
“I’m really sorry, I was building up this moment for years in my head and when it was happening, I lost control.”
“It’s okay, really. We can try again some other time.” Suguru says, smiling. He takes Haibara’s hand in reassurance.
Relieved, Haibara takes a deep breath.
“By the way, are you on suppressants?”
Suguru is taken aback a little. Sure, they just halfway had sex, but it was so forward coming from Haibara’s mouth.
“N…No.”
“That’s good, I heard it can really disrupt hormone regulation for omegas.”
Suguru frowns a little and shifts uncomfortably. He doesn’t know where this conversation is going.
“Yeah, I’ve never been on suppressants and I don’t plan on it.”
“I listened to a podcast about an omega that went infertile after going on it. It’s best to stay off.”
“I think those are extremely rare cases—“
“But you never know. There’s a lot of things that can disregulate hormones in an omega’s body and cause infertility.”
"I mean, I don’t really care about that.”
“About what?”
“Fertility… I guess.”
Haibara stares at Suguru. Suguru stares back, unable to read his expression.
“Well… I… do.” As the words leave Haibara’s mouth, each word is punctured by a painfully awkward pause, as if Haibara himself doesn’t believe what he’s saying.
After an excruciatingly long pause, Haibara speaks up again.
“Do you… not want kids?”
“No.”
“Oh…”
The two of them sit in silence. Neither of them need to say it — it’s been decided already.
It wasn’t going to work out after all.