Chapter Text
Name: _____ (You forgot to fill out this part! Now how will I know who wrote this and who to return it to? -5 points – M.F.) (Who else are you forcing into this maniacal scheme, and where are they so I can commiserate with them? - N)
Teacher: _____ (Don’t forget to credit me as your teacher!!! -5 points – M.F.)
Date: watched March 20, reviewed March 23, 2020 (You should do both on the same day so you can capture all of your thoughts down on paper while they’re fresh. Duh. – M.F.) (I’m not doing that. - N)
My bookepisode is: The Hamburger Incident by season 2 episode 4 (What about season 1?! I heard your rants when we watched them together but I want them written down for posterity so I can quote them at you when you’re being dumb. - M.F.) (If you concentrate really hard, your brain can do this helpful little thing called ‘remembering’. Unless you’ve already fried it beyond use from bingeing this show every weekend. - N)
I would rate this bookepisode 2 out of 5 stars ★★☆☆☆
Write a summary of the bookepisode: The Evil Magistrate returns to help the Steel Samurai in his hour of need.
What did you like about the bookepisode?: Trucy claims she’s better at doing homework if I sit down and work with her, so I guess this is my mandated book report time. She even let me borrow some of her extra book report worksheets so I could write my thoughts down ‘officially’ – her words, not mine. (Her definition of “doing homework” involves an awful lot of practicing for the school talent show next week with me as her test audience...) Anyways, this episode was a solid meh. I just think it’s a bit derivative, especially the Evil Magistrate’s whole spiel. ‘Oh look at me, I was so evil but now I’ve learned my lesson and I’m ready to come back to society and teach everyone about how morally superior I am!’ We get it, you’re good now. That doesn’t mean I have to like your forced morals about teamwork.
Final Grade: C- (Give the Magistrate some time. You’ll fall in love with him eventually. - M.F.)
Name: Phoenix Wright
Teacher: Maya Ms. Fey (Come on, Nick, don’t you know you have to treat your superiors with respect? Do you talk to Trucy’s teachers like this? - M.F.) (Trucy’s teachers don’t try to convince me that watching children’s TV counts as homework. - N)
Date: February 8, 2021
My bookepisode is: A Bridge to Cross and a Bridge to Burn by season 3 episode 5
I would rate this bookepisode 4 out of 5 stars ★★★★☆
Write a summary of the bookepisode: The Evil Magistrate returns to help the Steel Samurai in his hour of need… But this time, it’s kind of gay?
What did you like about the bookepisode?: Fine, maybe I like the Evil Magistrate. They had to give him a sad backstory and now I feel for the guy, okay? Also, the way he helps his so-called rival is sweet. It reminds me of Tom & Jerry, but less masochistic.
Also, what the hell, I can’t believe they fucked over the Karmic Rider by denying her the ultimate showdown against the Steel Samurai that she alluded to at the end of season 2!
Final Grade: B- (THAT’S your go-to pairing?? Tom & Jerry??? I’d give you an A for your correct opinions on the Rider, but I gotta knock it down for the T&J comparison. - M.F.) (Should I have compared them to those sad black and pink magical girl lesbians from your anime? Would that have been more to your taste? Come on. Rethink your narrow-minded cultural assumptions. - N)
Name: Phoenix
Teacher: Maya
Date: April 20, 2022
My bookepisode is: The Steel Samurai’s Day Off by season 4 episode 7
I would rate this bookepisode 5 out of 5 stars ★★★★★
Write a summary of the bookepisode: The Steel Samurai gets stuck in a time loop.
What did you like about the bookepisode?: This episode made me feel like I’m looking in a mirror. It’s the best of the slop you’ve made me sit through. Please don’t make me watch this again.
Final Grade: A (I cannot understand your absurd opinions, but in my infinite wisdom, I will be gracious and grant your wish... This time. You still have to watch all the other episodes though. - M.F.) (Oh, but of course. It would be too much to assume you would let entirely me off the hook for this pact I’ve unwittingly walked into. - N)
Name: Phoenix
Teacher: Maya Fey
Date: December 20, 2023
My bookepisode is: the Unfeeling Phantom (arc) by season 5 episodes 1-26
I would rate this bookepisode 4 out of 5 stars ★★★★☆
Write a summary of the bookepisode: This whole season blurred together. I think there was a yellow samurai?
What did you like about the bookepisode?: Edgeworth heard about my reports and made me watch season 5 while I was visiting, in the spirit of holding me accountable to “the promises [I] made to Ms. Fey.” He pretends he’s only a casual watcher, but I caught him mouthing along to all of the emotional scenes. Trucy asked him which part was his favorite, and he went on for several minutes about “the part where the Evil Magistrate rallies the Iron Infant and helps him finish his father’s task to bring justice to the world.” Then he seemed to realize that he had admitted to liking the show and proceeded to spend the rest of the episode hiding in the pantry pretending to look for snacks.
Final Grade: A++ (HAHAHA! - M.F.)
Name: PW
Teacher: MF (Except now it stands for Murdering (my ex-best) Friend - M.F.)
Date: February 21, 2025
My bookepisode is: everything you say (sweet talk)by pinkprincessofficial on AO3
I would rate this bookepisode 3 out of 5 stars ★★★☆☆
Write a summary of the bookepisode: Steel Samurai/Evil Magistrate, rated E, 65k, slowburn, enemies to lovers, hurt/comfort
What did you like about the bookepisode?: Good start – I’ve gone through the liberty of marking it up for you. And that isn’t how that position works. And just how come the Evil Magistrate has “unnecessary feelings” for the Steel Samurai? Really?
Final Grade: F--(I will kill you in real life!!!!! - M.F.)
Name: Phoenix
Teacher: Maya
Date: September 21, 2026
My book episode is: Ladders vs Step-Ladders by season 6 episode 16
I would rate this bookepisode 4 out of 5 stars ★★★★☆
Write a summary of the bookepisode: The Steel Samurai is invited to a wedding.
What did you like about the bookepisode?: I guess I finally have to do this again, after you not-so-subtly sent me the rest of the DVDs during my overnight stay in the hospital and proceeded to spend the next four months pestering me about “slacking off”. (Seriously, I was only there for one night. Did you really expect I’d finish the series?) All this to say that wedding episodes are stupid. Trucy will tell you that this episode made me cry, but that was because I’m working overtime and sleep deprived. I was so loopy, anything would have made me cry.
Final Grade: A- (Sleep deprivation or not, Trucy sent me photos and they are GLORIOUS! I have no regrets. >:) - M.F.)
Name: Nick
Teacher: Maya
Date: October 11, 2026
My bookepisode is: …Until It’s All Over by season 7 episode 19
I would rate this bookepisode 1 out of 5 stars ★☆☆☆☆
Write a summary of the bookepisode: _____
What did you like about the book episode?: To be honest, I can't remember a single thing that happens in this episode. It could have been thirty minutes of static for all I know. But this is my favorite episode, because what I do remember is this:
We watched this as a group when you and Pearls came down both to celebrate my birthday and for one last hurrah before you left for Khura’in. You wouldn’t stop complaining because the heat was broken, until I smothered you with my bodyweight, and Pearl and Trucy had to work together to pull me off. (I went limp when they tried to move me, but nothing can stop two teenage girls once they get it in their heads that they want something. Not even a man three times their size.) Pearl and Trucy squeezed in between us like there was space for four on the love seat and immediately crashed because their soda high had worn off, and you dragged Trucy on top of you to use as a human blanket. You cried at the end of the episode and then denied it when I teased you about it.
That night, after we put the girls to bed, you stood there in the doorway with your head resting against my shoulder. I still remember how still the air was when you admitted, like it was a terrible secret, “Sometimes life sucks, but on days like this I’m glad we get to struggle through it together.”
And I clapped my hands and said, “Uh oh. When you start getting sappy, that means it’s time for bed. Let's brush our teeth, Pink Princess.”
But the truth is, I'm glad too. There's no one I'd rather struggle with than you.
Final Grade: A (You have learned well, young ronin. Finally, you have come to understand the true spirit of Steel Samurai. - M.F.
P.S. Don't think this means you're off the hook. This episode contains important plot details and some of my favorite pinkrider moments of the season, so if you don't remember it we're just going to have to watch it again until it sinks in. (And again, and again, and again...))