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Seungmin grows up with a silver spoon in his mouth. That’s usually the general opinion of everyone hearing what family he belongs to. That’s the first opinion of the close-knit group of friends he manages to find, his family of choice.
Seungmin is born as the only heir of one of Korea’s biggest tech companies, never knowing anything but wealth. He grows up with nannies and butlers and a private chef cooking for him instead of his mother. He goes to an elite kindergarten and school, filled with other children much like him, their parents' pockets dripping with money.
Arguably, Seungmin has everything other children can only dream of. Everything but parental love.
The butlers are nice and his nannies play with him, but at the end of the day, they go home to their actual families, their actual children, and Seungmin is left alone in a house much too big for only three people living in it.
Growing up, Seungmin is alone.
All throughout school, he has acquaintances, not friends. Children he plays or studies with but isn’t allowed to form any deeper connection with. Seungmin is lonely, and maybe that wouldn’t have been so bad if his parents would’ve been anything but their dismissive and ignorant selves.
Over the years, his confusion at their constant dismissal turns to anger and bitterness. He doesn’t understand it when he’s young, but by the time he graduates high school, he knows he’s just a means to an end. His parents need an heir, preferably a boy. They never wanted a child. What they neither want nor need is a son that’s gay.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
“Minnie!”, Felix calls his name across the café, grinning brightly at him. It’s lunch time, the place filled with college students and office workers trying to squeeze a quick break into their hectic schedules. Seungmin is no different, usually he would have even skipped lunch, but he tries to always make time for his friends.
This noon, it’s only Felix, Jisung and Changbin greeting him as he steps up to their usual table. It’s able to fit all eight of them because none of them have any sense of personal space. With only four of them, it feels almost too empty.
With a heavy sigh, Seungmin slides onto the bench opposite Jisung and Felix, almost colliding with Changbin as he sits down with a little too much momentum. The older man steadies him with an arm around his waist as he smiles at Seungmin indulgently.
Blushing, Seungmin moves away to sit properly, relaxing back into the seat. Changbin’s arm moves from his waist to the back of the bench, lying almost across Seungmin’s shoulders. His face feels hot as he tries to ignore Changbin’s arm, his heart pounding in his chest. He still isn’t accustomed to the feelings Seo Changbin is able to make him feel, not even after the better part of a year of being secretly in love with the older man.
Ignoring his pounding heart, Seungmin focuses back on Felix and Jisung in front of him, catching their knowing eyes. Ignoring their looks, Seungmin resists the urge to slump forward onto the table for a quick nap. He's so tired that he's barely able to keep his eyes open, but the day is not even nearly halfway done. And the worst of it is still waiting for him.
Jisung looks like he wants to say something, probably a teasing remark, but before he can do more than take a breath, Changbin slides a large to-go cup filled to the brim with coffee in front of Seungmin.
“You look like you need one, Seungmin-ah.”, Changbin says, his voice teasing but his eyes worried.
The black liquid smells heavenly to Seungmin’s frayed nerves as he immediately takes a large sip. He knows he probably looks as exhausted as he feels, a lack of sleep catching up to him as he tries to still manage his packed schedule.
Ever since his mother's assistant called him three days ago to let him know his parents want to see him today, Seungmin hasn't been able to sleep well. It's always the same, every time they summon him. The dread in the pit of his stomach only ever dissipates when he’s allowed to leave his childhood home again.
“Thanks hyung.”, he says quietly, turning to smile at Changbin as he does so. Felix and Jisung are already in the middle of another conversation and for the first time in days, Seungmin feels his shoulders relax a bit as their voices wash over him and Changbin smiles back at him.
Seungmin cradles the coffee close, not really listening to whatever Felix and Jisung are talking about as Changbin voices his opinion. Mentally, he’s already back in his childhood home, absolutely dreading the conversation he’s about to have this evening, knowing that what his parents are going to tell him will be the complete opposite of what he’s going to confess.
“-eungmin-ah?”
Startling out of his thoughts, Seungmin looks up from his coffee and is met with concerned frowns on his friends’ faces.
“What did you say?”, he asks and sits up a bit more from where he’s slumped over his coffee cup. “Sorry, I was lost in thought.”
“We saw that.”, Jisung snorts, frowning a bit more in concern. “Is everything alright?”
With a heavy sigh, Seungmin leans back against the bench, his head now touching Changbin’s arm still lying across it. He doesn’t know if his hyung is aware of it or if he’s doing it unconsciously, but after a moment, Changbin starts playing with the short hair at the back of his head. Seungmin tries to ignore the flutter of his heart.
“I can’t come to the movie night tonight guys, I’m sorry.” Sensing that there’s more coming, his friends stay silent as Seungmin closes his eyes in resignation. “My parents want me to come home, said they have something to discuss with me.”
At his friends’ continued silence, Seungmin opens his eyes again. Jisung and Felix still look mostly worried, even more so now, but Changbin’s frown has deepened in anger. After months of his friends only knowing who his parents are - because everyone knew what company he’s going to inherit the moment he stepped onto the university campus on his first day of classes - Seungmin has opened up more and more about his childhood, always careful not to make it seem as bad as it was. Some of his friends have had it so much worse than him. The little neglect and lack of love from his parents is nothing compared to some of their childhoods. His friends don’t share his opinion, though.
“Do you know what they want?”, Felix asks at the same time Changbin wants to know “Do you want us to come with you?”
Smiling tiredly but gratefully at both of them, Seungmin takes another sip of his coffee.
“No, it’s okay hyung.”, he tells Changbin first, smiling at him gratefully. Trusting Seungmin’s judgement, even if he doesn’t look very happy about it, Changbin only nods and squeezes Seungmin’s neck with the hand still in his hair.
“And yes, I know what they want.”, Seungmin says and turns back to Felix and Jisung, taking a deep breath because he knows what he’s about to say will shock the three of them just as much as it shocked him three days ago.
“My parents want to tell me about the girl they want me to marry.”
For a very long moment, their table is completely silent as the café continues bustling around them. Felix and Jisung look as shocked as Seungmin expected them to be, if not even more so. Changbin’s hand has stopped moving in Seungmin’s hair as the other man only stares at him, shock and something else Seungmin can’t read written on his face.
“What?!”, Jisung exclaims then, loudly. A few heads turn in their direction as Felix pulls the other man back down into his seat, looking still as shocked as Jisung.
“You- you’re getting married?!”
At that, Seungmin can only laugh.
“No.”, he tells them, still grinning. “I’m definitely not getting married to someone I don’t know and don’t want to marry.”
“But your parents…” Felix sounds worried, even more so than before. They all know how his parents are, having seen and heard over the years how they summon Seungmin randomly and expect him to do their bidding. Up until he met the seven of them, up until he met Changbin, he always did exactly that.
“I always did what they wanted me to do. But that’s over now. I’m-” Taking a deep breath, Seungmin’s lips tremble a little as he tries to smile at his friends. “I wanted to tell you all this evening but now that I’m not coming anymore… I officially changed my major. It’s already approved, starting next semester I’m not doing business and accounting anymore. I’m going to be a music student majoring in singing.”
This time the shocked silence from his friends only holds for a second before they jump up in excitement, making Seungmin laugh. Jisung lunges over the table to hug him and almost knocks over all of their drinks. As Felix forces Jisung back down into his seat a second time, he grabs Seungmin’s hand across the table with both of his, squeezing tightly.
“Minnie, I’m so happy for you!”
“Thank you.”, Seungmin smiles softly, feeling the relief of that decision again as if he just stepped out of the university’s administration office. He always thought that as long as his parents allow him to go to this university - a public one in the middle of Seoul - he can live with the fact that he has to study what they want him to study. Fast forward almost a year and a half later and he’s completely miserable.
Changbin is weirdly silent beside him and as Seungmin turns to him, the other man is just sitting there quietly, his body now turned towards Seungmin completely as he smiles at him brightly. Seungmin feels himself blush from having that smile directed at him in full force, Changbin’s eyes almost unbearably soft.
Without giving a warning, Changbin reaches forward and wraps his arms around Seungmin. It only takes a second for him to reciprocate the hug, burying his face in Changbin’s neck. Even before Seungmin realized his feelings, he always felt the safest in Changbin’s arms.
“I’m so proud of you, Minnie.”, Changbin says quietly, only for Seungmin’s ears. Seungmin laughs quietly, even as he feels his face heat at the words.
“I only changed my major, hyung.”
“Still.”, Changbin says a little louder this time as he moves back to look at Seungmin properly. “We’re proud of you.” Grinning, Changbin looks at Jisung and Felix, who grin back just as brightly.
Seungmin feels his face heat even more under all the attention, glad that their other four friends are not here too. He doesn’t think he could deal with all the attention right now.
“Thank you.”, he tells them quietly and takes a sip of his coffee so he doesn’t have to look at them any longer.
“I’m going to tell my parents about it tonight.”, Seungmin says then, more to the table than to his friends. Only thinking about it almost makes him panic and he can’t manage saying it to anyone’s face right now. He doesn’t really know yet how he’s supposed to tell his parents about it this evening, but he’ll probably figure something out at the last minute.
“Are you sure you don’t want someone to come with you?”, Jisung questions worriedly and Seungmin looks up at him, his coffee cup now almost empty. Shaking his head, he smiles at his friends.
“No, it’s okay. I want to do it on my own. Besides, it’s not like they’re going to punish me for it.” Seungmin chuckles, trying not to show how unsure he feels about that himself. His parents are little more than strangers to him. He doesn’t know them and therefore can’t predict their reaction. The only thing he’s sure about is that they won’t disown him, purely because it would look bad in the press.
Taking the last sip of his coffee, Seungmin looks at the time on his phone. His eyes widening at what he’s seeing, he stands up and gathers his things. He has only five minutes to make it to his next class on the other side of campus. One might argue that his classes are irrelevant now that he’s going to change his major, but some of them will still get him some extra credit, so he’s going to do his best until the very end.
“I’m going to be late to my next class!” Hurriedly, he pulls his coat back on and shoulders his bag.
“Let us know how it went and text us when you’re back home!”, Changbin tells him as they watch him throw away his empty paper cup. Seungmin only nods and waves in goodbye, his friends’ encouraging smiles infectious.
As he walks out of the café, he’s still dreading the conversation with his parents, but it’s not only because of him changing study fields. He sneaks a last look at Changbin, his heart skipping a beat as the older man catches his eyes across the café and smiles at him softly.
His hyung might not know about his feelings for him, but if he ever plans on confessing - and he definitely does once he finds enough courage - he needs to do something else first, for himself and for his future partner: Come out as gay. Seungmin doesn’t know what he hopes for from his parents by telling them, but he thinks it’s only fair to whoever he’s going to end up with that he doesn’t stay in the closet any longer.
At the end of the day, it’s the most fair to himself, though. Changing his major already brings him one step closer to freedom, to breaking free from his parents. The last step will be coming out to them, even if he knows he doesn’t owe them anything. But who knows, maybe they’ll disown him after all, setting him truly free so that he can finally live the life he wants: Far away from them and happily surrounded by his little family of choice. Maybe then, he’ll find the courage to confess his love to Changbin.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The house he grew up in still looks the same when Seungmin drives up the long driveway that evening. He hasn't been here since he moved out for university, his parents usually summoning him to the upscale restaurants in the city when they want to talk to him.
No one besides his friends knows where he’s living. He lets his parents believe that he moved into one of their several apartment complexes downtown, but in reality, he’s living in a small one-bedroom-apartment near campus, completely paid for by his own money, not that of his parents.
As he stops in the very spacious yard, there’s already another car parked to the side, a sleek black thing with a driver waiting behind the steering wheel. Seungmin nods at him in greeting as he gets out of his car and pulls out his keys to open the door. Before he can even get the key anywhere near the lock, the door is opened from the inside, the familiar face of his parents’ head butler appearing on the other side.
“Mister Kim.”, the older man greets with a bow, stepping aside to let him in. Seungmin winces at the formality only ever used when he has to see his parents. “Your parents are awaiting you in the sitting room.”
“Thank you, Hyunjae-ssi.”
None of his friends grew up in as much wealth as Seungmin’s parents have, not even Changbin. His family has money, maybe even a lot of it, but it still doesn’t compare to Seungmin’s heritage. The first time he told them about having several living rooms for different occasions or visitors, they looked at him in disbelief, before they all laughed about it, Seungmin included. It’s just one of the things that felt freeing after only ever remembering this house and its dozens of rooms as a very big prison cell.
There’s a mirror hanging in the entrance hall, more for decoration than anything else, and Seungmin takes a quick look at himself as he passes it. He hasn’t bothered with wearing a suit or any other formal clothes. He looks like he’ll join his friends for movie night after all, with his baggy jeans and oversized hoodie. His parents are going to have a fit, even if they won’t show it outwardly, especially not with whatever guest they’re having over. Seungmin can’t help but grin at imagining it, even though he knows exactly who’ll wait for him in the sitting room and it turns his stomach.
Following Hyunjae, Seungmin nods at him in thanks as they stop in front of a room and the butler pulls open the door. Seungmin is not sure he ever touched any of the doorhandles in this house, save for the ones in his personal quarters.
The first thing he sees as he steps into the spacious room is his parents on the uncomfortably hard sofa facing the door. They look as perfectly put together as they always do and he has to suppress a grin as he sees his mother realizing what he’s wearing. On the sofa closest to him, facing away from him, are sitting two other people, a woman and a man. As Seungmin walks further into the room and steps around the sofas to stand beside his parents, he recognizes Lee Moobin, a business partner of his father, and his daughter Lee Hayoon.
The last thing he heard about them a few months ago was that Hayoon just turned eighteen. That his parents would want to marry him off to someone barely legal and clearly terrified at the aspect of getting married so young has the anxiety and dread in the pit of his stomach quickly changing to disgust and fury. He tries to smile reassuringly at Hayoon, not so much at her father who seems to be much like his own parents.
“Mother, father.”, he greets with a short bow, not making any move to sit down too. He doesn’t need to sit since this will be over rather quickly.
“Seungmin.”, his father exclaims, a reprimand and something like surprise in his voice. “You’re late.” Seungmin knows he says it just to have said it, not knowing if it’s true or not. It never is. Seungmin hasn’t been late anywhere even a second in his life. His friends used to tease him about it until they realized the habit stems from a childhood of having to be as punctual as possible to avoid any punishment.
His father stands up for proper introductions, his mother and Mister Lee and his daughter following suit. Seungmin has met Lee Moobin only a handful of times in his life, but he always picked the man as kind and very affectionate of his daughter. Maybe he thinks he’s doing her a favor, securing her for life by marrying her off to one of the wealthiest families of South Korea, but Seungmin can’t see any outcome with this marriage that won’t leave Hayoon and him completely miserable.
“Seungmin”, his father addresses him. “You already met Mister Lee. This is his daughter Hayoon. Your soon to be bride.”
Already knowing why he’s been summoned by his parents doesn’t weaken the blow much. Glancing at Hayoon, Seungmin sees her grimace when she thinks no one is looking at her, backing up his belief that she wants this marriage as much as him: Not at all.
Bowing slightly, because Seungmin is nothing if not polite, he turns to his parents.
“Mother, father, I came to tell you something.”
“Can’t it wait, Seungmin?”, his mother says, not sounding very happy that Seungmin isn’t just taking everything in stride like he did his whole life.
“No, it can’t. I’m not planning on staying long, I’ll be quick.”
“Not planning on staying long? What do you-”
“I changed my major.”
Seungmin has never interrupted his father in his life, but he finds that even as his heart pounds in his chest, it feels good to finally stand up to his parents. Using their stunned silence, Seungmin continues.
“Starting next semester, I’m not studying business and accounting anymore. I’m going to be a music major.”
Turning away from his parents, Seungmin looks at Mister Lee and his daughter. They seem just as surprised as his parents, but Hayoon smiles at him when their eyes meet.
“And I’m not going to marry you, Hayoon-ssi.” Smiling at the immediate relief in her eyes, Seungmin thinks that even though they don’t want to marry each other, maybe they can be friends. “I’m sure you’re lovely and anyone else would be very lucky to call you their wife, but I can’t marry you.”
Turning back to his parents, his mother looks like she’s close to passing out while his father is so red in the face, he looks like he’s going to pop a vein. They’re both still shocked into silence though and Seungmin barrels on before they remember how to speak.
“I’m gay.”, he tells them, clenching his hands into fists as he feels the anxiety swirl in his stomach. “I like men.”
He thinks of Changbin and his easy laugh. His kindness and the softness he shows to all of their friends, but sometimes, especially to Seungmin. Just thinking of his handsome face has Seungmin calming down a little bit. He’s so ready to go back home to Changbin and their friends.
For a long moment, his parents only look at him completely stunned. Then, before Seungmin can react in any way, his father takes a step forward and raises his hand. He flinches but it doesn’t protect him from his father backhanding him across the face.
Seungmin stumbles backwards, almost falling over the small side table standing beside one of the sofas. Unconsciously, he cradles the stinging side of his face, tasting blood in his mouth from where his lip must have split. Seungmin expected a lot of reactions from his parents, but violence wasn’t one of them.
“Stop this nonsense right this second, Seungmin!”
“This is no joking matter!”, his mother adds, her face having gone blotchy with stress. She doesn’t even comment on the fact that his father just hit him, as if that’s completely normal and she would’ve done the same if she was faster than him.
“Believe me, I’m very serious.”, Seungmin says, his shock making way for anger as the pain in his face slowly weakens to a dull ache. “I’m not marrying Hayoon-ssi. I’m in love with a man.”
Sensing that Seungmin is serious about what he’s saying, his parents only stare at him in silent shock for another moment. Then, just like only a moment ago, his father raises his hand, as if to hit him again. This time, though, Seungmin is prepared. He catches his father’s arm as it swings towards his face, stopping it only mere centimetres before it would have made contact with his skin again.
His father is neither a very tall nor a very strong man. Seungmin doesn’t have a lot of muscle either, not like the rest of his friends, especially Changbin and Chan. But he’s taller than his father and the regular work outs Jeongin drags him to seem to pay off.
His arm trembles where he holds his father’s, whether it’s from the strength he’s using or the anger he’s feeling, he doesn’t know. Looking at his father and his mother still standing a step behind him, Seungmin realizes that they really are nothing more than strangers to him. With more force than probably necessary, he releases his father’s arm, making him stumble back a step, almost colliding with his mother.
“From this day on, don’t ever contact me again or I swear to god I’ll report you to the police for physical violence.”
Without another word, Seungmin turns around, only noticing now that Hayoon and her father are still in the room with them. Mister Lee looks completely shocked and disgusted at his parents’ behavior, same as his daughter. Seungmin only bows at them in goodbye, not saying another word as he leaves the room.
In the hall, he almost collides with Hyunjae, who’s barely able to hold onto the tray of tea he was about to bring them. He looks at Seungmin in surprise, his eyes flashing with concern as he takes in his split lip and his probably already swollen cheek. Hyunjae is a nice man, has only ever been kind to Seungmin, but just like the rest of the staff, he’s loyal to Seungmin’s parents first. Seungmin can’t even fault them for it when the alternative would have been losing their jobs.
Only acknowledging the older man with a nod, Seungmin walks past him, ignoring the hurried steps of his parents behind him as they follow him out of the room.
“Seungmin, stop right this instant! This discussion isn’t over!”, his mother calls behind him, sounding almost hysterical.
“This is a disgrace to the Kim family!”, his father rages. “If you don’t stop this nonsense right this second, I’m going to disown you!”
Slowing his steps, Seungmin stops in the middle of the entrance hall, not turning around yet. Before he goes, he wants to know if his father really means what he just said. It would be the last nail in the coffin for him, proving once and for all that his parents don’t care about him at all.
“Tell me the name of that- of that- of that fag you’re ruining your life and ours for!”
Seungmin is a calm person. He doesn’t usually talk much, he’s more of a listener and he enjoys his friends’ company in silence, fondly leaning back to watch the familiar chaos happening around him whenever the eight of them manage to come together. Violent is the last word anybody would ever call him, but in this moment, hearing his father insulting Changbin like that, insulting a whole community really, Seungmin sees red.
He turns around so abruptly, his father almost collides with him head on. Seungmin doesn’t think he has ever been so angry before in his life as he grabs his father by the lapels of his expensive suit and drags him close. He’s not a violent person, not like his father apparently seems to be, but he’s pissed.
“Don’t you ever talk about him like that ever again.” Seungmin is about half a head taller than his father, so he more or less towers over hims as he speaks to him. “I don’t care what you think about me or call me or tell me to do. But don’t ever talk about the people I love like this.”
Letting go of his father with force, the man stumbles back into his mother. Seungmin doesn’t wait for them to right themselves before he’s already turning around and opening the large front door. Hyunjae, Hayoon and Mister Lee followed them into the entrance hall, but Seungmin ignores them all in favor of finally leaving this house, preferably forever.
Before he can take a step outside, though, his father wants to have the last word.
“If you’re walking out of this house now, Seungmin, you don’t ever need to come crawling back!”
His parents probably think they’ll send him into an existential crisis when they disown him, but all Seungmin can feel at the thought of it is pure relief. He stopped living off his parents’ money when he started university, the only thing he’s still using is the car they bought him. It’s not like he needs it though, most times only ever using it when they summon him across the city.
Wordlessly, Seungmin pulls his keychain out of his pocket, pulling the key to his parents’ house off in seconds. Next is his car key, taking a moment longer to pull it off the key ring to remember if he left anything in the car that he wants back. He can’t think of anything, so he gathers both keys in his hand and drops them to the ground right in front of his feet. They make a satisfying sound on the polished marble floors and Seungmin doesn’t even wait for the noise to stop ringing in the high ceilings of his childhood home before he’s already out the door and marching down the driveway.
He liked his car but he doesn’t mourn it as he stalks past it, some residual anger making his steps long and fast. No one is coming after him and he doesn’t look back as he leaves his childhood home behind, feeling lighter with every step. The relief he feels at finally being free from his parents is substantial, even though he feels himself tremble from the adrenaline still running through his veins.
He walks for fifteen minutes without a break, before he deems himself far enough from his parents’ house to stop for a minute. It’s already dark and the air is cold, Seungmin having foregone a jacket because he thought he’d be driving back home instead of walking. The drive back would have taken ten minutes, walking home will take him about an hour.
Taking his phone out of his pocket to call a taxi or see if any of his friends are willing to pick him up, Seungmin swears quietly when the screen stays black. With all the stress he’s been having the last few days, he must have forgotten to charge his phone today.
Sighing, Seungmin puts it back into his pocket and starts walking. He doesn’t make it more than ten metres when a drop of water suddenly hits him in the face. Looking up in resignation, more rain starts falling. Trying not to scream in frustration, Seungmin just keeps walking, resigned to his new fate. The faster he walks the sooner he’s home.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
By the time Seungmin walks up the stairs of Chan, Jisung and Changbin’s apartment building, he’s exhausted, drenched from the rain and shaking from the cold. He still doesn’t know how late it is, but when he passed his own apartment building, he realized that he really doesn’t want to be alone right now.
Even if he’s too late for movie night and his friends have already left, Changbin, Jisung and Chan should be home since they’re sharing an apartment. Seungmin really hopes the rest of their friends are still there too, though. It wouldn’t be the first time that a movie night turns into an impromptu sleepover.
Stopping in front of the right door, Seungmin is barely able to knock with how hard he’s shaking. His face is still throbbing, the rain and the cold only bringing so much relief when his split lip reopens every time he so much as moves his mouth in some way.
It takes a moment for the door to open, but when it does, the sight in front of him makes him dizzy with relief. Changbin is standing in the doorway, rubbing sleep from his eyes and blinking blearily against the dim lights in the hallway. It takes a moment for the older man to register who is standing in front of him, but when he does, his eyes widen in alarm and concern.
“Hyung”, Seungmin whispers, his voice breaking on the word. Suddenly, there are tears in his eyes as all the stress and anger and adrenaline he has felt in the last few hours melt away and leave him exhausted to the bones.
“Minnie!”, Changbin exclaims and only stares at him in surprise. Then, he must register the state of Seungmin’s face as he lets go of the door and gently cups his cheeks in his hands. “What the hell happened?”
Trying to answer, Seungmin’s teeth chatter as he opens his mouth and Changbin only then seems to realize that he’s completely soaked through and doesn’t have a jacket.
“Jesus Christ, Seungmin-ah! Do you have a death wish?”
Letting go of his face, Changbin pulls him into the warm apartment, closing the door behind them. Immediately, Seungmin relaxes even more in the familiar surroundings, hearing the faint voices of some of their friends in the spacious living room of the apartment.
“Chan-hyung, Minho-hyung!”, Changbin calls loudly across the apartment, still holding Seungmin’s freezing hands. “We need some help!”
Loud footsteps are the only thing they can hear for a second, before the door to the living room swings open and Chan and Minho hurry through. They stop in the middle of the hallway in surprise at the sight in front of them and Seungmin thinks he must look truly terrible when they can only stare at him for a long moment. A violent shudder wracking his body spurs them back into movement and they almost stumble over each other in their haste to get to him.
“Oh my god, Minnie!”
“What the hell happened?”
Chan takes the hand Changbin isn’t holding, trying to rub some warmth back into his fingers, as Minho gently cups his face, turning it this way and that to examine his wounds. His face darkens more with every second he’s taking him in and Seungmin thinks he hasn’t ever seen his hyung this angry.
“Guys!”, he calls the rest of them then, and in the moment it takes Felix, Hyunjin, Jisung and Jeongin to walk out into the hallway, Minho has already disappeared into the bathroom. Silent tears are still running down Seungmin’s face and he gently pulls his hand out of Chan’s grasp to wipe them away.
“Minnie?”, Hyunjin questions when the rest of their group crowds into the hallway too. All of them expect him to be at his parents’ house right now, so it must be a shock to suddenly see him in this state.
“He needs some dry clothes!”, Felix exclaims, already turning around to find something fitting in the rooms of the three residents of this flat. Silently, Seungmin hopes he’ll bring him one of Changbin’s hoodies, needing the comfort of this particular hyung right now.
“What the hell happened to your face?”, Jeongin questions the moment Minho steps back out of the bathroom. Seungmin can hear the shower running through the open door and the thought of hot water sounds heavenly. He’s also carrying a first aid kit, but doesn’t seem to want to use it right this second.
“Go take a shower, Seungmin-ah, before you freeze to death.”
When he only nods in response, Minho’s frown deepens in concern. Right when he steps into the bathroom, Changbin still hot on his heels, Felix returns with a stack of clothes in his arms. He deposits it in Changbin’s waiting hands and runs a hand through Seungmin’s soaked hair, before leaving the room and closing the door behind him.
Exhausted, Seungmin sinks down onto the closed lit of the toilet. His clothes are starting to dry uncomfortably on his skin now that he’s not out in the cold anymore and he’s still shaking violently. Changbin looks a little unsure of what to do, the stack of clothes still in his hands. Absentmindedly, Seungmin notes that there’s indeed one of Changbin’s hoodies in the pile.
“We need to get you out of those clothes, Seungmin-ah.” Putting the clothes aside, Changbin steps closer and motions for Seungmin to raise his arms. Blushing, Seungmin does what he’s told and ignores the way his stomach flutters when Changbin grasps the hem of his hoodie and pulls it over his head. The wet fabric brushes against the tender skin of his face and he hisses in pain, finding the strength to stand up and look in the mirror above the sink.
He looks like a mess. His hair is plastered to his forehead, some of the strands dripping water onto his shoulders, while the rest of them are standing up in odd angles from where Felix ran his hand through them earlier. His lip is indeed split, the wound still bleeding shallowly, and his right cheek is red and slightly swollen. Sighing, he closes his eyes and brushes some hair away from his forehead.
“You need to get into the shower, Minnie.”, Changbin says quietly and when Seungmin opens his eyes again, he’s standing directly behind him, their eyes meeting in the mirror.
Nodding, Seungmin opens his pants and pulls them down, not even noticing how Changbin quickly averts his eyes, a blush blooming high on his cheeks.
“I’m right outside the door, just call if you need anything!”, Changbin says, quickly leaving the room when Seungmin is about to pull his underwear down. Too tired to think anything of it, Seungmin steps into the warm spray of the shower, sighing in relief when the hot water hits his skin. It stings a little on the tender skin of his face, but he ignores it in favour of standing unmoving directly under the spray for several long minutes.
When he finally stops shaking and it doesn’t feel like his toes are freezing off anymore, he turns the shower off and grabs the largest towel he can find. The mirror is completely fogged up but Seungmin doesn’t bother wiping it down. He doesn’t want to see the sorry state he’s in right now.
The sweatpants Felix brought him are a little too short, but that’s to be expected when the only one taller than him in their group is Hyunjin. They’re still comfortably baggy though, same as the hoodie. Seungmin is taller than Changbin but the older man is much more muscular and fills his hoodies out more. Felix even gave him a pair of Jisung’s fuzzy socks that he denies having and he smiles at them fondly when he pulls them on.
Taking a deep breath, Seungmin pulls open the bathroom door and is not really surprised when Changbin is leaning against the opposite wall. He seems to be lost in thought, a deep frown between his brows, until he hears the bathroom door opening. He smiles at Seungmin, not saying anything as he grabs his hand and pulls him further into the apartment.
When they enter the living room, most of the others are there. They look up from their quiet conversation when the two of them enter the room and Jisung jumps up immediately from the spacious couch to grab Seungmin’s other hand and drag him over to his vacated seat. He hasn’t even sat down properly before Jeongin is pulling a blanket around his shoulders and Hyunjin and Changbin crowd close to provide even more warmth. He’s not really cold anymore but he still takes the comfort of his friends and feels himself truly relax for the first time since leaving his parents’ house.
A moment later, Chan and Minho come back into the room, both of them carrying a tray full of steaming cups. The smell of hot chocolate has his stomach rumbling and Seungmin realizes that he hasn’t eaten anything since the cup of coffee this noon.
Putting the trays on the coffee table, Minho and Chan make quick work of distributing the cups. Seungmin’s is the largest of them all but no one says anything, so he just stays quiet too and takes a sip of what he instantly recognizes as Minho’s special hot chocolate recipe he usually reserves for special occasions. Today seems to be one of those.
It’s quiet for a long minute as they all just sip their drinks, but when Chan puts his cup down and takes a breath, Seungmin knows the inevitable questions will start. It’s not like he doesn’t want to tell his friends about it, it’s just that he doesn’t really want to be reminded of it and is ready for this day to be over.
“Seungmin-ah”, Chan starts quietly and Seungmin puts his cup down too, not really trusting himself right now to not let it drop. “Can you tell us what happened?”
Looking into the expectant faces of his friends, seeing no judgement, just quiet concern, Seungmin leans back against the couch and looks down at his hands.
“I told my parents that I changed my major.”, he says quietly, his voice a little rough. Laughing a little as he thinks back to a few hours ago, he only then realizes that with everything else he told them, they didn’t even react to that.
“They didn’t even react to that. I guess it was worse that I didn’t want to marry the girl they introduced to me this evening.” Playing with his fingers, he squeezes them into fists as he remembers what happened after. He doesn’t even notice that he’s hurting himself until Changbin is grabbing his hands and intertwining them with his own. Looking up at the older man, Changbin smiles at him encouragingly.
“But I guess the worst was when I told them I wouldn’t ever marry a girl they introduce to me because I’m gay and like men. My father didn’t like that at all.”
It’s quiet for a long moment and Seungmin looks up when no one says anything in response. There are varying degrees of anger and disbelief on his friends’ faces and now he’s the one squeezing Changbin’s hands when his eyes fall on his hyung and he looks absolutely livid.
“Your father did this?” Changbin’s voice is so quiet that Seungmin barely hears him and all he can do is nod in affirmation, the lump in his throat suddenly too big to speak. Hyunjin suddenly wraps his arms around him from his other side and Seungmin feels the tears welling in his eyes drip down his face. He doesn’t really know why he’s crying, it’s not like he’s mourning the relationship to his parents he never really had in the first place.
Mindful of his swollen face, Changbin gently wipes his tears away, the anger in his eyes replaced by quiet concern. A moment later, Minho squeezes through and sits down on the coffee table in front of Seungmin, almost toppling his cup of hot chocolate over. He deposits the first aid kit from earlier in Seungmin’s lap as he opens it up wordlessly and pulls out the things he needs.
Minho works quickly and efficiently, cleaning the cut in Seungmin’s lip and the almost-split skin on his cheek, but all the while, he stays completely silent. Knowing his hyung pretty well by now, Seungmin knows that he’s fuming and probably needs something to do before he grabs Chan and Changbin for a quick visit to Seungmin’s parents.
When he’s finished, he takes the bag of frozen peas Seungmin hasn’t even noticed Jisung getting from the kitchen and presses it against Seungmin’s swollen cheek. Gathering some used and unused materials, Minho throws them back into the first aid kit a little more aggressively than necessary.
“Hyung”, Seungmin tries to get Minho’s attention. “Hyung, stop.” Pushing the first aid kit still on his lap closed, Seungmin tries to smile when Minho finally looks at him.
“Please don’t do anything stupid on my behalf.” He says it to Minho first, but then lets his gaze sweep over the rest of them, showing them that he means them too. “They’re not worth it. You’re more family to me than they ever were.”
“Minnie!” Their reaction is instantaneous as Hyunjin, Felix and Jisung all try to hug him at the same time, toppling them all, and Minho, over and onto Changbin still sitting on Seungmin’s other side. From where he’s buried under them, Seungmin hears Chan and Jeongin laughing, before the oldest drags their maknae with him into the cuddle pile.
“I’m getting disowned anyway after I told my parents that I’m also in love with a man right now.”, Seungmin says without thinking, snorting as he thinks back to their faces. He only notices after a moment that his friends are oddly quiet now.
“You’re what?”, someone asks then, and Seungmin is pretty sure that it’s Changbin. Realizing what he just said, he feels his face heat, cursing silently from where he’s still buried under the majority of his friends. Said friends are all traitors as they quickly move back and let Seungmin sit up so that he has to look at Changbin.
“I’m getting disowned?”, Seungmin repeats, hoping to get out of it that way. Since today is one of the worst days of his life though, luck isn’t on his side.
“Yes, you said that, that’s terrible, but-”, Changbin cuts himself off, uncertainty written on his face. “You’re in love with someone?”
“Come on guys!”, Minho says loudly, suddenly. “Help me bring these mugs to the kitchen!”
“But hyung, I haven’t even finished-”
“Take your cup to the kitchen, Han Jisung.”
Seungmin almost snorts at the obvious way Minho wants to give them some privacy. They’re all going to eavesdrop from the kitchen anyway, but Seungmin doesn’t say anything as they all pick up one single mug and trail after one another into the next room.
“Well, that wasn’t obvious at all.”, Seungmin jokes when the rest of their friends are gone, turning back to Changbin, who is still watching him silently.
“Hyung?”
“Are you-”, cutting himself of, Changbin wrings his hands together. “Do I know the person?”
“The person?”, Seungmin questions. “The person I’m in love with?”
“Yes.”
“Well, I guess so.”, Seungmin can’t help but tease, even when he feels nauseous with sudden nervousness. Changbin’s reaction to all of this and the way they have been dancing around each other for months now gives him hope, though.
“Since it’s you I’m in love with, I think you know yourself pretty well.”
Trying not to avert his eyes, Seungmin sees the exact moment his words register and Changbin’s eyes widen in surprise.
“You’re in love with me?”, he asks quietly, his voice barely above a whisper. Seungmin nods quietly, suddenly not trusting his voice anymore. Even if he’s pretty sure by now that Changbin reciprocates his feelings in some way or form, the potential to get rejected is still there.
Changbin stays quiet for so long that Seungmin’s confidence slowly turns to embarrassment when he doesn’t receive an answer.
“Hyung?”, he asks quietly and that seems to pull Changbin out of whatever trance he was in.
“It’s okay if you don’t feel the same, I’m fine with staying friends, I’m-” Before Seungmin can try to talk himself out of his confession even more, Changbin suddenly surges forward and presses his lips to Seungmin’s. The surprise only holds for a second, before Seungmin relaxes in Changbin’s arms and kisses back.
“Why is it so quiet?”, someone suddenly whispers. “Are they kissing?”
Seungmin can’t help but snort and pull away from Changbin at Hyunjin’s quiet voice coming from the kitchen.
“Be quiet, hyung! They can hear you!”, Jeongin hisses, causing Changbin to bark out a laugh.
When their friends are quiet again, Seungmin wraps his arms around Changbin and buries his face in his neck.
“Can I stay over tonight, hyung?”, he asks quietly, smiling softly into Changbin’s neck.
“Sleepover!”, Jisung’s voice suddenly sounds loudly from the kitchen before Changbin can answer, proving that they’ve all been eavesdropping after all.
Seungmin and Changbin only grin at each other, breaking into laughter a second later. Maybe this isn’t the worst day of Seungmin’s life after all.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Later, when everyone is asleep and the only noise in the living room is their quiet breathing, Changbin and Seungmin are still awake.
“I guess I need a new surname, since I’m not a Kim anymore.”, Seungmin jokes quietly, drawing idle circles with his finger on Changbin’s chest. It’s quiet for a moment and since he can’t see Changbin’s face, he’s completely unprepared for what comes out of his mouth next.
“You can take mine, if you want. I don’t think my parents will mind.”
Whipping his head up so fast he almost bangs it against Changbin’s, Seungmin stares at him in astonishment, wondering if he heard right. Changbin looks back at him calmly, the only thing giving him away being the bright blush on his face.
“Did you just propose to me?”, Seungmin asks, his face slowly breaking into a grin. His lip stings from the movement, but he doesn’t even really feel it as he watches Changbin’s face get even redder.
“I’m just saying.”, the older man shrugs with a grin matching Seungmin’s, trying to look unbothered when he’s clearly anything but. “Since you’re now back on the marriage market and everything.”
“You’re ridiculous.”, Seungmin grins, leaning up to press another kiss to Changbin’s lips.
“That’s not a no!”, Changbin grins back when they pull away from each other a moment later, making Seungmin laugh genuinely for the first time today.
“Sleep, hyung.” Snuggling back down, Seungmin’s grin softens into a content smile as he feels Changbin’s arms tighten around him.
Seo Seungmin. He could get used to that.