Chapter Text
How should you put this…
Fate can be quite cruel. And yours was uninterestingly so.
You weren't anyone special. Not recognized for anything in particular, no. A true nobody—that was who you are.
A nobody who worked a mundane office job. Your routine consisted of waking up, getting ready, going to work, eating (if you were lucky), going home, sleeping, and repeat.
There was nothing worth noting in your life, not a story to share—aside from those few embarrassing moments you had back in school… but you couldn't really remember what happened, anyway. You just knew it did.
No one would be satisfied with the life you live. But hell, you weren’t the only one who's forced to live like this, at least. Perhaps, smarts or wits could have saved you, but you weren’t exactly known for either of those. Academically, at least.
No, you were just… you. “A loser with dumb hobbies” isn’t much of a reduction, in fact. They kept you somewhat sane, delaying a breakdown that you had to avoid at all costs. Poor mental health would bring nothing but more consequences, and you had enough on your plate already.
Fate works in twisted ways—and what cruelty it reserved for you. You were one of the unfortunate ones who got to face its wrath, its knife sinking deeper and deeper into your chest as you implored it to stop for as long as you remember.
But it never stopped, no. You always wished for something better, and it never happened. You hoped for anything to get you out of this hell of a cycle, but you knew your words wouldn’t reach far. This is how life was planned out for you.
In fact, compared to the vast universe out there, you were just a tiny bug who could be crushed at any given time. Why would the divine beings, who watch over the entire cosmos, bother with you?
Regardless, you had to get home from work. You missed your bed, and the comforts of your apartment.
Your boots stepped onto several tiny puddles of water, producing splashing sounds with every step. With your clothes now soaked to the brim, you wondered how you could’ve forgotten to bring an umbrella. You cursed yourself.
Normally, you would’ve checked the daily weather forecast, but you had overslept this morning—and the rush to get to work on time did not allow for it. You refused to let that day be the third warning from your boss just this week—you couldn't afford to lose your job over a terrible sleep schedule and a lack of self management.
The sun had now gone to slumber, and you were stuck in the rain without an umbrella or a raincoat. You needed to save money for your meals, and couldn't therefore afford a taxi or an Uber. You had also skipped lunch break in order to finish the leftover work from the day before, and thus spent half of your shift rushing through your work as your stomach growled and pinched you from the inside.
Finally, the familiar, albeit a bit rundown, building– came to view, and you let out a sigh of relief. Thank God, I can’t stand being out here any longer.
You opened the double glass door and was greeted with a friendly face: your neighbor, an older lady named Martha. You weren’t exactly close, and you didn’t know much about her except that she lived alone and was a kind-hearted soul. What you did know is that, out of pure goodwill, she had helped you during the roughest week of your life, and you’ll forever be grateful for that.
"Oh, dear heavens, you're soaked!" she exclaimed, looking you up and down, her tender gaze filled with worry. You only responded with an awkward chuckle, embarrassed to have let your neighbor see you in such a pathetic state. "Don't worry, I'll quickly go and dry off back at my apartment. I won't get sick, I promise."
You weren't so sure you could avoid illness after walking in the rain for all that time, but you hoped your words would reassure her.
Martha reluctantly nodded. "Just make sure to warm yourself up, I wouldn’t want to have to knock on your door tomorrow morning and take care of you." she complained—not because she didn’t want to—she had done it before—but as a reminder for you to take care of yourself.
You could only smile and nod. "Yes, ma'am." you said, before parting ways with her and getting to the elevator. Your shaky fingers pressed onto the cold metal button that was once covered by a little bell symbol—but only some sticker glue remained now. The elevator’s creaky doors opened shortly after, and you waited for it to take you to your apartment’s floor.
As the doors opened anew, you didn't waste any time as you unsteadily moved your trembling legs towards the left corridor, quickly reaching a door labeled "301." You fumbled with your hands, reaching into your pocket for your keys, and finally letting yourself into the comfort of your home.
The first thing you did was flick the light switch, letting the bright light engulf the room entirely. You set your things aside and made your way to the bathroom in order to wash off yet another long and tedious workday.
After finishing up your daily routine, you didn't hesitate to throw yourself on top of the bed. Your body finally relaxed, relishing the moment of comfort inside your own little space.
But that moment of relaxation quickly came to a halt, replaced with a realization. You jolted up from your bed and looked for your phone, grabbing it from one of the pockets within your bag—luckily it didn't get too wet.
You jumped onto your bed again, instinctively tapping on the bottom of the phone’s screen as it unlocked, only for your eyes to land on that same mask-like icon with a familiar title below it: "The Freak Circus."
It didn't matter how much you played the game, or that you had long memorized every line and what each choice leads to; you couldn't keep your hands off of it. Every day, as soon as you had some time for yourself, you wished to spend it on the game you were staring at at this moment.
Without a second to spare, you pressed on said icon as the screen showed you that familiar menu screen, a red-clothed clown as the mascot behind it. You immediately pressed the “Start” button and indulged in that familiar comfort to your heart’s content.
As your fingers skillfully played through the game’s events yet again, your mind wandered to thoughts that didn't quite match what the screen was showing you. You thought of your real life situation, and a feeling of tightness quickly crawled up into your chest as your eyes unfocused from the game.
It wasn't uncommon for you to experience such feelings—dread, helplessness, misery. You worked overtime but didn't receive your time’s worth, didn't have friends or family you’re still close with, and you struggled getting through the day—every day. With not much to bring you comfort, this game offered you a kind of solace that you rarely ever experienced elsewhere.
You were sure that many could relate, but you would’ve never admitted that the source of your happiness was a silly yandere dating sim that wasn’t even completed yet.
Though you were functioning fine with what you have now, you truly, deeply wished that you could have a little more.
You shook your head, the thought quickly leaving your hazy mind. Life is not one to grant absurd wishes such as that. You could only dream, as you always had.
You didn’t know how much time had passed since you started playing the game today. As you noticed your arms aching, you scrolled down from the top of your screen and checked the time: almost midnight.
Amused by what had become of your routine, you couldn't help but giggle. How could you always play for that long and not notice the hours pass? In truth, you knew that, despite how funny it was, the reality of it was quite sad. Is that what you resorted to? Is that what kept you from breaking?
As one of your hands let go of your phone, you turned your body to face the ceiling. You stared at the paint that covered the roof of your room, letting out a sigh.
“I should go to bed,” you suggested for yourself. You would have a long day tomorrow, and the last thing you needed was to oversleep again and possibly get fired this time. The thought alone sent a shiver down your spine.
Your eyelids were growing increasingly heavy, and despite the cold air hitting your arms and back, you couldn’t bother pulling the duvet up to get some of that warmth back. Your head relaxed onto the softness of your pillows as the darkness of your room, no longer illuminated by the phone that was now resting on your bedstand, caught every remaining bit of your consciousness.
Before succumbing to your sleep, one last blurry image popped up in your head; a recollection of a few colorful clowns and their respective tickets.
“If only…” you muttered to yourself.
Indeed, if only.
The following morning, as the sun shined on your face, you slowly turned and opened your eyes.
Letting out a groan, you scooted over to your bedstand to check the clock: 8:21 am. Your eyes widened as your sleepiness vanished in half a second. You had overslept again!
Before even processing anything else, you jolted up and out of your bed, your head now spinning due to the sudden movement—but that didn’t stop you from rushing to the bathroom.
In rapid succession, you took a shower, brushed your teeth, slipped into your work attire, and walked to the front door before stopping in your tracks. You were forgetting something…– that's right, your phone! You looked at your bedstand, the place you last saw it at, but it was no longer there.
You searched frantically for it, but found yourself empty handed and way too late for work to hang around any longer. Ultimately deciding it would be better if you just left it home for now, you quickly made your way to the elevator, making sure to lock the apartment’s door behind you.
The elevator rode down and opened to reveal the hallway that led to the double glass door. You sprinted towards it and grabbed one handle, pulling it with force towards your body as you moved around it, before suddenly halting in your steps.
What… where am I?
This—this doesn’t look like my city.
And you were right!
It wasn't.
The bustling city wasn't as bustling as you knew it’d be. Instead, a more quiet atmosphere matched the lack of tall buildings, and the long shadows they cast were replaced by warm sunrays peeking through the more modest complexes and stores. A car passed by, then one from the opposite direction. It wasn’t the huge morning traffic you knew.
You looked left to right, then straight, then all around. Confused, you tried to remember if you’d used any drugs the day before… if you had been anyone else, of course. Then perhaps, a dream?
You pinched yourself.
Ouch.
Oh, no.
The many-a thoughts flashing through your mind were interrupted by a flyer plastering itself to your face. You took a step back in surprise before ripping it off. You scoffed. Then, you looked down at your hand holding the crumpled flyer and your blood ran cold.
“The… Circus of Horrors?”
Like, The Freak Circus?