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hayden's nightmare (but not really)

Summary:

based on this tweet:

"amber's first word is ilya and they have to physically remove hayden from the ceiling"

or: Amber says her first word and Hayden's not handling it too well.

Notes:

as always thank to elle for making this work readable and fixing my mistakes <3

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Hayden steps outside his car and walks towards the door of his house. He was exhausted after the game they played, but he’s happy to be home with Jackie and the kids.

He opens the door and is immediately greeted by Arthur who runs towards him and hugs his legs.

“Hey buddy.”

He hears a muffled “Hi daddy.” And he has to smile. He really missed his kids so much.

He grabs Arthur and hoists him up in his arms and walks towards the living room. There he sees Jackie who gives him a blinding smile and has Amber in her arms.

“Hi baby.” Hayden says while giving Amber a kiss on her forehead. 

“And hi to my other baby.” He says while giving Jackie a soft kiss.

She smiles at him warmly. “Hello, sweetheart.”

He puts Arthur down and he hears the girls running down the stairs and they immediately run towards him and hug him.

“Good game, dad.” They both yell in unison.

“Uncle Shane was so good and when you gave him the pass and he scored his second goal, that was so cool.” Ruby says excitedly.

Jade nods her head enthusiastically. “Yes! Though I loved it more when you scored, I always love it when you score dad.”

“It was pretty cool, wasn't it? Thought of you girls while I scored.”

The girls beam at him and run back upstairs, distracted and ready to move on.

He sits on the couch next to Jackie, takes Amber over from her and just breathes in her scent. He loves hockey and being on the road but there’s nothing better than being at home with everyone.

He talks to Jackie about the game for a little while,and Amber happily babbles away, like she's somehow a part of the conversation.

“She’s been doing that a lot lately, I think she’s going to say her first word soon.” Jackie tells him.

“I feel like she was born yesterday, what do you mean she’s going to start talking soon, I don’t know if I’m ready for that.”

Jackie laughs at him. “Better get ready for it darling, and pay attention because it’s an experience we’ll never have again.”

Hayden looks at her and while they’re both 100% sure they don’t want more kids, the thought that he will never experience another baby kind of makes him feel sad inside. Also relieved because he doesn’t think he and Jackie can do that again, 4 times is enough.

The evening passes, loud and chaotic and Hayden thinks it doesn’t get better than this.



───  ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅  ───



The next morning starts off slow, and for a few minutes, he and Jackie lay in bed quietly enjoying each other until Amber starts crying. 

Jackie moves to get out of bed but Hayden stops her. “I’ll get her, don’t worry.”

He walks into Amber’s room and she starts babbling enthusiastically when she spots him, urging him to pick her up.

Hayden grabs her out of her crib and starts talking to her. 

“Good morning baby girl, did you sleep well?”

She babbles loudly back at him and he tries to listen if she says anything he can make out— her first actual word, but no it’s all just nonsense.

They continue their back and forth while he dresses her and he hears the other kids are also up and moving. Once Amber’s all dressed he walks downstairs and into the kitchen where Jackie is getting the table ready for breakfast.

Everyone digs into their food the minute their plates are set before them, allowing an unfamiliar silence to gather around the room. Silence was a rarity in the Pike house.

The TV is on in the background, they mostly ignore it until they hear something that piques their interest and today it was a very distinctive and familiar Russian accent.  

“Look, it’s Uncle Ilya.” Jade yells excitedly.

Ruby’s head turns around quickly as if she can’t miss a single second of him. Hayden really wonders what he has done to the universe for his girls to be so obsessed with Ilya Rozanov.

Arthur is eating his food quietly and seems to not focus on the TV at all. “Thank god for that,” Hayden thinks.

Jackie has taken Amber on her lap who has started babbling again.

“Ikly” She brabbles quietly.

Jackie and him look at each other, holding their breaths.

“What did she just say?” He asks his wife.

“I’m not sure." Jackie replies before talking to their baby.

“Can you say that again, honey?”

“Ilya” She almost shouts happily while waving at the TV and Hayden freezes.

His mouth is wide open in shock and he must look ridiculous because Jackie is looking at him with absolute glee on her face.

“Please tell me our daughter did not just say that.” Hayden says, kind of irritated.

Jackie lets out a loud laugh of joy before replying to him. “Oh it absolutely was.”

The kids are looking at him like they’re not sure what’s going on and all Hayden thinks is what the fuck.

“Ilya, Ilya Ilya” Amber chants excitedly and oh god, he can’t handle this, and drops his head on the table.

The girls have caught on and are oohing and ahing

“This is so cute, Amber’s first word is Ilya” Ruby almost shouts.

“We’ve got to tell Uncle Ilya, mommy.” Jade says quickly and that gets Hayden’s attention.

“Oh, absolutely not. I don’t think Uncle Ilya would care all that much.” Hayden replies before seeing the look on Jackie’s face.

“You should call Shane.” She replies before looking at him sternly.

It seems like breakfast is forgotten because everyone save for Arthur is focused on Amber. He hears, “Ilya, Ilya” and he thinks he wants to die.

How is this even possible? He thinks while searching for his phone. Yes they see him occasionally and yes all his children (unfortunately) adore him but Amber is so young, she sees him and Jackie so often why couldn’t she just have said “Mom or Dad.” Like a normal baby.

Once he has found his phone he returns to the table and Jackie looks at him with her eyebrows raised and he knows he’s gonna have to call.

Does he have Rozanov’s number? Yes. Will he call him? Absolutely fucking not.

He clicks on Shane’s name and waits for him to accept his facetime request. And why the fuck is he nervous? He knows why because Rozanov is going to fucking love this and never let him live this down.

Shane accepts his request and then he sees his friend’s face on the screen.

“Hey man, what’s up?” Shane asks. And he looks so relaxed, just like Hayden knows he does as well when he’s at home with the people he loves. Damnit Rozanov, that’s his doing.

“Oh um, nothing much just wanted to check in.” He sounds so awkward he wants to slap himself in the face and he can see Shane looking at him like he’s lost it.

Jackie is signing to him to come to her so he does just that and starts walking towards her until she’s in frame, Amber in her arms.

“Hi Shane.” Jackie says warmly while waving at the camera.

Shane waves back before replying. “Hey Jackie.”

“Is Ilya with you, if yes you should get him.”

Shane frowns and looks at them with a confused look on his face.

“He’s upstairs but I can call for him. Why does it look like you two are announcing another pregnancy even though that’s impossible?”

Jackie laughs loudly and Hayden can feel his own smile growing on his face.

“No, buddy it’s nothing like that, but yes get Rozanov with you.

Shane is putting the phone down and has muted his side of the call. Jackie is looking at him and he knows that look.

“Be nice babe, this really is not the end of the world. Our baby said her first word, it’s cute.”

Hayden rolls his eyes before replying. “It’s not cute that her first word was that. I can be happy about the fact our daughter said her first word and be upset it was a word I don’t like.

“You’re being ridiculous, you need to get over yourself.”

Hayden is about to reply but then the connection is back and Shane is back with Rozanov next to him.

They say their hello’s and Hayden wants to scream at how Rozanov is always so nice to Jackie while being an absolute asshole to him.

Jackie starts talking because of course she does and he’s grateful for her because he doesn’t think he could get the words out even if he wanted to.

“Amber just said her first word.”

“Oh that’s so exciting!” Shane replies warmly.

Ilya’s face is looking like sunshine, Hayden can’t believe it even if a voice in the back of his head reminds him that Rozanov adores his kids.

“Did she now? She’s such a good girl, the best girl.” Now he’s cooing at the screen and Amber is happily babbling back.

“You want to know what she said?” Jackie asks them.

“Yes!” Both Rozanov and Shane reply in unison.

And of course that is the moment Amber decides it’s a great time to repeat her first word.

“Ilya, Ilya” She says happily while pointing at Hayden’s phone screen.

Both Shane and Rozanov are staring at the screen like they’re frozen and the only way Hayden knows they’re not is because he can see Shane mouth what the fuck.

“Is my name?” Rozanov asks them.

“Yes, Ilya.” Jackie replies softly. “The TV was on in the background and she was saying a word and we couldn’t hear it and then she just started chanting your name while pointing at the TV.”

“That’s amazing.” Shane says while looking at Rozanov lovingly.

Hayden waits for Rozanov to say something annoying because he knows it’s going to happen. He always does this and he must be so fucking smug that his name was Amber’s first word but instead he’s silent.

Hayden looks at the screen and he can see Rozanov and holy shit are those tears in his eyes? No way, no fucking way.

Hayden can see Shane throwing an arm around him to comfort him and those two are so in sync it makes Hayden sick (not really of course.)

"Are you okay, Ilya?” Jackie asks softly as if not wanting to disturb the quiet.

"Da, yes. I’m fine, was just not um.”

“Expecting?” Shane provides.

“Expecting that. Is a good feeling, means she must like me, yes?”

“She loves you Ilya, all our kids do. You’re so good with them, you’re a natural. Kids feel that. You treat them like an equal and always listen to them. Never forget how important you are to them.” Jackie tells him.

He loves Jackie and knows she’s right and Rozanov looks so happy right now and damnit, Hayden really needs to be nicer to him even if he doesn't know how.

“Thank you Jackie, means a lot. I love them a lot too.” Rozanov replies uncharacteristically gently.

Shane starts laughing all of a sudden and Hayden is immediately alarmed. 

“I don’t like this laugh, why are you laughing?” He asks Shane.

“I wish there was a camera when she said Ilya’s name. I would pay so much money to see your face. Jackie, please tell me how he reacted.” Shane asks with a laugh.

Jackie starts laughing as well and Hayden can see the smirk appearing on Rozanov’s face and damnit.

“Shut up Hollander, I was fine.” He replies quickly.

Jackie gives him a little slap before saying. “Oh you should have seen his face, he was in total shock and totally dramatic about the entire thing.”

Hayden groans, so much for his wife having his back.

“Pike, you know I will never let you live this down right?” Rozanov tells him.

“I know you won’t, asshole. Why do you think I hate it so much, it’s totally unfair. Jacks and I are with her so often and then she says your name. It’s ridiculous.

Rozanov laughs loudly at that, in fact so do Shane and Jackie.

“I hate all three of you.” He knows he’s pouting but he doesn’t care.

“You could never hate your wife and Shane.” Rozanov replies confidently. “You don't hate me either, just find me annoying. I find you annoying as well, so is fair.”

Hayden squints and then sighs. “You got me there Rozanov, I still don’t have to like it though.” He grumbles.

“Just think of how much I love it, Hayden and then get happy for me.” Shane says.

Hayden rolls his eyes and dammit the fact that it makes Shane and even Rozanov happy is kind of cute and he is happy his children have two uncles who would do everything for them.

“Fine, I’ll be happy for you.” Hayden tells him. “But don’t bring it up all the time or I will be mean to him again.” Hayden emphasizes that while pointing at Rozanov. 

Rozanov smirks and throws a little wave at him. He can’t help it and laughs quietly.

“We just wanted to tell you guys because I don’t think this is what anyone was expecting.” Jackie tells them.

“But now we have things to do, so say bye bye to Uncle Shane and Ilya, Amber.” Jackie waves Amber’s little hand towards them and Shane and Rozanov wave back while cooing at her.

“I’ll see you in a few days, take care Hayden and let us know if something is up.” Shane tells him.

“Will do, enjoy your free time, man.” Hayden replies.

Rozanov looks at him and Hayden looks back, both not sure what to say.

“See you around Pike.” Rozanov says.

“Yeah, I’ll see you Ilya.” Hayden says while quickly ending the facetime call.

Jackie is looking at him from the other side of the room. He walks towards her and hugs her, careful not to crush Amber. 

“Proud of you honey. Did you see how much it meant to him?”

Hayden grumbles. “Yes, I was kind of shocked at that.”

“Were you really?” Jackie asks him pointedly.

A sigh. “Fine, not really. I’m just not used seeing emotions with him. No matter what Shane says he’s not like that with us.”

“Maybe he’s getting more comfortable around us, or more specifically around you.”

“Could be, yes.”

“I’m going to clean the table and then we can do whatever you have planned, babe.” Hayden tells Jackie. She nods at him.

As he walks away she says one more thing to him.

“You know honey, Amber wasn’t the only one.”

He turns around. “Only one to what?”

“To say the word Ilya for the first time.” 

“Oh shut up, Jackie!!” Hayden tells her as she walks away laughing loudly.

Notes:

thank you for reading and I hope 2026 is kind to you <3

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