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“But have you ever seen him with anyone?” Goldberg leaned in to Averman, not exactly keeping his voice down in the library. Dean and Fulton listened in as well, and Charlie doodled in his notebook.
“Just because we’ve never seen him with anyone doesn’t mean shit,” Dean said matter-of-factly.
“Please. Banks is as pure as freshly-fallen snow.”
Charlie looked up for half a second but shook his head and returned to his notebook.
“He’s the best player. He’s gonna be salutatorian. I’m telling you, there’s no way he’s ever gotten laid,” Goldberg argued. “You’ve seen him. Always studying, always on the ice. He doesn’t do anything else.”
“Yeah,” Dean agreed slyly, “but have you seen the way the girls look at him? He’s all well-bred and polite. Girls love that shit.”
“I concur,” Averman piped up. “Even Julie and Connie think he’s good-looking, especially now he’s got that scholarship to University of Denver.”
Goldberg scowled. “You’re all wrong.”
“Alright,” Dean said, eyes glinting wickedly. “I bet you a hundred bucks Banks isn’t a virgin.”
“Fine. I will take your bet and prove you wrong,” Goldberg said stubbornly, crossing his arms and looking at Charlie. “Charlie, you in?”
Charlie’s head rose as all four sets of eyes flicked to him. “I don’t get why you guys care,” he said. “What Adam does is his own business.”
“Dude, it’s high school,” Dean pointed out. “What else do we have to do? Besides, no one should leave high school a virgin. Well, except Goldberg.”
Golderg’s, “Hey!” was largely ignored.
“If he is, then it’s our duty as teammates to get him laid before school ends,” Dean went on simply, but Charlie shook his head.
“Sorry, but I’m gonna have to sit this one out.”
“Come on, Conway,” Averman said, grabbing his shoulder and shaking it dramatically. “You’re his roommate. You must know something.”
Charlie shrugged, flipping his notebook closed. “He doesn’t go out that much, and I don’t follow him when he does.”
“But you’re always with him,” Averman insisted, scooting a little too closely to his chair as though it will entice Charlie to share any secrets he must have on Banks. “He’s never looked at a girl or mentioned one?”
“This whole bet is stupid,” Charlie just said.
Dean rolled his eyes and flopped back in his chair. They were supposed to be studying for Physics, but their textbooks lay unread before them.
“Ever since you got that secret girlfriend, you’ve been a pain in the ass, Conway.”
“For the last time, there’s no secret girlfriend,” Charlie protested, but the myriad of rolled eyes he got in return made it clear no one believed him.
“Yeah? Then what’s been making you so happy the past few months?”
“Maybe the thought that I’ll finally be able to get away from you losers,” he replied, ignoring their fake looks of hurt.
“Who was it that said, ‘once a duck, always a duck’?”
Charlie sighed. “You’re never gonna let me live down anything I said as a kid, are you?”
Dean slapped him on the back, hard enough to propel him forward. “Nope. And until we get an answer on Banks, you gotta be our eyes and ears.”
“I’m not helping you.” Charlie grabbed his bag and began to pack up his things. “Take on this suicide mission on your own.”
“You are a completely and utterly useless captain!” Goldberg called after him as Charlie scooped up his things and left the library.
Charlie passed no one in the halls, golden afternoon sunlight streaming in through the windows, tiny green buds on trees outside, straining to bloom but the month’s cold snaps prevented it. Snow still covered the ground in patches from last week’s miniature blizzard. For March, Charlie supposed he should have expected it.
The door to his dorm twisted open, unlocked, and he stepped inside, tossing his bag so it rolled and hit the corner of his desk.
“Hey,” he greeted Adam, who sat on his bed, a textbook open in his lap. Where Adam’s side of the dorm was almost painfully neat, bed made and desk cleared off, Charlie’s was a mess. Papers littered his desk, pens hidden in every crevice. Clothes were strewn on the floor and his own bed still held the indent of where he’d rolled out that morning.
Adam made a noise of acknowledgment, copying something out of the book and not even glancing up as Charlie hopped onto his bed, kicking off his shoes and running a hand through his hair.
He’d left the library mostly so he wouldn’t have to listen to the others debate Adam’s sexual experience, but he still had a project to finish. The thought of actually working on it, however, was headache-inducing and he’d prefer to lounge around the dorm the rest of the night instead of working.
Adam went on working as though Charlie wasn’t even there, reading diligently and taking notes. Charlie couldn’t help watching the way he concentrated so fully on something so incredibly boring. There was no way that Chemistry could be so interesting. Charlie had fallen asleep in regular Chem class and Adam was in advanced this year.
Outside the window, Charlie could hear guys playing football on the lawn. It was still early in the evening, too early for anything good to be on TV in the lounge and too early to sneak into the rink for some ice time. He’d inevitably be caught by Coach Orion if he tried. Not that that ever stopped him.
Sighing boredly, he leaned against the headboard, hands behind his head. “So the guys made a bet.”
It wasn’t enough to get Adam’s attention, and he went on reading.
“They bet that you were a virgin.”
Adam paused - Charlie saw the slight tilt to his head at his words, his eyes stilling on the page.
“Oh?” he asked at length, gazing down at his textbook.
“Goldberg and Fulton think you definitely are, but Portman and Averman don’t.”
Adam looked up, hair falling in his blue eyes as he met Charlie’s eyes. “And what side did you pick?”
“I told them to mind their own business.”
Adam contemplated that for a moment, brushing his hair aside. “How are they going to decide who’s right?”
Charlie shrugged. “I doubt they’ll come straight out and ask you. That’d be far too simple.” He smiled slightly when Adam shut his book and sighed.
“This is going to be painful, isn’t it?”
“I tried to get you out of it,” Charlie said, watching Adam slide off his bed and toss the book on his desk, marring the otherwise clean surface.
“I bet you did,” Adam muttered skeptically.
“I really did,” Charlie argued, trying to act affronted, but it just came across as joking as Adam crossed the room to his bed.
Adam rolled his eyes, crawling onto the bed and in between Charlie’s legs. “I’m sure you told them that I was the most innocent seventeen year old you know, that I’m completely celibate, and that I don’t even look at girls.”
Adam’s hands slid up Charlie’s thighs, pushing his legs apart so he could settle closer. Charlie smiled as heat rose on his skin.
“Would you rather I told them you’ve had my cock up your ass and you loved it?”
For a moment, Adam contemplated the question, hands sliding closer to the rising bulge in Charlie’s jeans, and god, Charlie just wanted him to get there. He’d say anything, lie to anyone about Adam’s experience, if Adam would just get on with it.
Besides, lying about Adam was protecting them both. Even after two months, Charlie wasn’t sure he was ready for everyone to know. Once they did, it would make things weirdly official. Their relationship wouldn’t just be theirs anymore. It would be like Connie and Guy and how everyone knew everything, whether they liked it or not.
“Only if I get to tell them how much you like facials.”
Charlie tried to glare - that was definitely not information he wanted shared with anyone, possibly ever - but Adam’s hands had found their way to the button on his jeans, tugging it open and sliding a hand under the waistband. There wasn’t much room for glaring as Adam’s slender hand circled around his prick. His grip was warm and firm, but he didn’t move as they sat there.
“So how are we going to stop this bet?” Adam asked conversationally, as though he didn’t have his hand on Charlie’s dick, as though Charlie wasn’t squirming, blood rushing downward, away from his brain.
Pushing his hips up in a sad attempt to get Adam to do something, Charlie bit his lip. “You’re gonna have to let one of them win.”
“Me?” Adam repeated, fingers smoothing down Charlie’s skin, too softly to be anything other than torture. “Why did they decide on me anyway? There are plenty of virgins on the team.”
“But they know they are.” Charlie didn’t understand why they were having a conversation right now when there were so many other things they could be doing. “You’re always so quiet.” He shivered and his hand came up to rest on Adam’s thigh.
“So I should be more like Goldberg or Russ or Averman?”
Charlie’s jeans slipped down on his hips, and he tried to wiggle out of them, but Adam had him pinned in a way that he couldn’t really move. Not that he was complaining. He just wished they’d get on with the touching and less with the talking. He liked Adam, he really did, but Adam had a tendency to over-analyze that got in the way.
“They’re your friends,” Charlie said instead, foreseeing no end to this conversation. “They just wanna know stuff.”
Adam paused, mouth pursed. After a second, he leaned in and kissed Charlie. His mouth slid against Charlie’s, tracing his bottom lip, tongue pushing into his mouth as Charlie’s chest swelled in both anticipation and something closer to happiness. His hands slid into Adam’s hair, keeping his mouth pressed against his.
His breathing was heavy when Adam pulled away at length, cheeks flushed. Adam’s hand squeezed his cock once and then vanished despite Charlie’s noise of protest.
“Then you can tell them how you get off alone in the showers.”
“Adam,” Charlie whined even as Adam climbed off the bed, leaving him in a terrible predicament. Adam just wasn’t fair, not fair at all.
Adam grabbed his textbook off the desk and got on his own bed again. “They’ve got their hearts set on settling a bet and we shouldn’t give them any ammunition.”
Charlie wasn’t one hundred percent sure what that meant, but he had a sinking feeling it didn’t mean good things for him.
*
Adam was evil, Charlie decided the next day, after he’d been forced to bed with no satisfaction and little promise of any later. What made it worse was the way Adam walked around school, as though completely oblivious to Charlie’s problem. Adam laughed with Connie at the joke Guy told them in the halls and dutifully ignored Goldberg trying to cheat off his test in math. He acted like everything was perfectly fine.
Charlie knew otherwise.
“Seriously, man,” Goldberg said to him as they headed for the locker room. “You swear you haven’t seen Banks with anyone?”
Sighing, Charlie shook his head. “Just drop this stupid bet,” he said, partially pleading with Goldberg. “I don’t see how you can prove something like that anyway.”
“Oh, there are ways,” Goldberg assured him, and that, if anything, left Charlie feeling more uneasy than before.
At the rink, they headed for the locker room, and Charlie caught sight of Adam, already suited up and tapping his stick on the ground. He looked up as Charlie entered, a half a smile to his face, but Charlie forcefully ignored the way he wanted to smile back. It was Adam’s fault he’d felt wound tight all day.
Instead, he went to his locker and pulled out his gear.
“Adam,” Averman said, loud enough for the whole team to hear, but most were too used to his loud declarations to care. “My man! Are you going to the school dance? I hear it’s going to be a romping good time!”
Adam’s eyebrows went up slightly, but he shook his head and went back to lacing his skates. “Think I’ll sit this one out.”
“But you’ve sat all of ‘em out!” Averman protested. “What’s wrong? Can’t get a girl to come?”
To Adam’s credit, and Charlie’s relief, Adam didn’t blush. He merely shrugged. “Guess not.”
“Leave him alone, Averman,” Portman interrupted, though Charlie was sure it wasn’t to help. “Banks has all sorts of game with the ladies, am I right?”
For a moment, Adam looked confused, eyes darting between Dean and Averman, as though searching for the connection.
“Uh,” Adam started to say, but Coach Orion’s voice filled the locker room a second later.
“Okay, team, get on the ice and I don’t want to see any messing around today!”
Noise cluttered the locker room as everyone trundled out to the rink. Adam glanced at Charlie as he passed, but Charlie wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction, and he walked right past into the rink.
*
“Charlie, wait up!”
Charlie was the first to finish changing and left the locker room. He wasn’t all that surprised when he heard Adam behind him, the slap of his shoes against the concrete. The rest of the team couldn’t be far behind which meant they didn’t have but a few minutes alone in the hall.
Charlie slowed but didn’t stop as Adam caught up, a hand on his shoulder.
“Charlie,” Adam said, the smallest hint of pain in his voice, and it made Charlie’s heart ache. “What’s going on?”
“You’re the one who said we should keep things quiet.”
“And that means not talking to me?” Adam stared at Charlie as they kept walking. “I didn’t know you were so literal.”
“I didn’t know you were such a tease,” Charlie hissed, glancing around, but the hall was still empty behind them. Grabbing Adam’s sleeve, he pulled him down another hall and boxed him in against the wall. “Between you and Russ singing I Will Survive at the top of his lungs in the shower this morning, today has been impossible.”
Adam’s mouth twisted in an unimpressed fashion. “Your sex drive is not my problem, Charlie.”
Charlie squeezed his eyes together, so close to losing whatever vestiges of control he had left after not being able to get off since Adam got him hard. “Adam, come on,” he said, desperate for something. He was seventeen for Christ’s sake. He didn’t have that much control over his body and Adam wasn’t helping things.
Adam laughed for a second, shaking his head. “Did you see them before? Averman and Portman and God knows who else. They’re gunning for me, and I get the feeling they’re not going to stop until they have absolute proof one way or the other. And unless you wanna get caught, we have to be careful.”
“That is not an excuse for last night,” Charlie pointed out, shuffling closer to Adam. He couldn’t hear anything in the hall yet but that didn’t mean they had much time. “You left me hanging.”
“You didn’t seem too concerned with the bet.”
“Our door has a lock,” Charlie said, but Adam frowned and he knew he was losing this argument. He couldn’t lose this one. If he lost this one, who knew how long it could be before he got off again. He had to convince Adam that they could get around this stupid bet of Portman and Goldberg’s. Taking a deep breath, he reached up to Adam’s neck, stroking the short hairs around the back. “It’s just a stupid bet. They’ll give up when they can’t figure anything out. There’s nothing to worry about.”
Adam gazed at Charlie with those big blue eyes, rounded with worry and a slight apprehension that always seemed to be there when they weren’t playing hockey. He did lean into Charlie’s touch, though, and Charlie took it as a good sign. “I still think we should be careful until then. I mean, we don’t want them to know, right?”
“Right,” Charlie agreed, kissing Adam soundly. He wished he could just scoop Adam back to their dorm and have his way with him, but the sound of clattering feet in the hall meant the rest of the team had finished changing.
Adam was right, though. Charlie stepped back as the sounds got louder. He’d been thinking about himself rather than what might happen if the team found out about them. They had to keep things quiet, even if that meant keeping his hands to himself until this ridiculous bet blew over. Charlie could do that. Totally.
*
It turned out to be much more difficult than Charlie expected, especially when he came back to his dorm one morning between classes to find Goldberg rummaging through Adam’s drawers.
“What the hell are you doing?” he demanded as he stepped in the door. Goldberg jumped about a foot but didn’t even have the decency to look embarrassed at being caught.
Goldberg straightened up from Adam’s dresser, and Charlie was extremely glad that he kept the lube in his drawers, and not Adam’s. From the way clothes were strewn all over Adam’s side, there would have been no way to miss them.
“Look, Charlie,” he said, as though Charlie hadn’t just caught him trespassing. “You know Adam better than anyone. You tell the guys he’s a virgin and they’ll believe you. I’ll win the bet!”
“I don’t want to get involved in this,” Charlie said, passing Goldberg and glancing at the mess on Adam’s side. “If you don’t clean that up, Banks’ is gonna have a heart attack.”
Goldberg ignored him. “I know Portman and Averman are planning something to de-virginify him, just to prove their point.”
“What?” It sounded ridiculous, but when Charlie thought about it, it didn’t sound so crazy knowing his teammates. “Isn’t the bet to prove he is or isn’t already?”
“If they get him laid, they’ll win!” Goldberg pointed out. “You need to stop that from happening.”
“Told you. Not involved.” Charlie held up his hands in surrender. The last thing he wanted to do was help either one of them even if it was making his life hell. He and Adam hadn’t had sex in almost a week for fear of anyone catching on now that they were all looking so closely. “And I better not catch you breaking in here again.”
Goldberg seemed to deflate, making a face. “Just a hint. Blink once if you’ve ever seen Adam with anyone.”
“Out!” Charlie snapped, shoving Goldberg through the door.
“Was that a blink or were you rolling your eyes?” Goldberg called as Charlie slammed the door shut behind him.
With a sigh, Charlie fell onto his bed and groaned into the pillow. Maybe he should just go tell the guys Adam was a virgin. He rolled onto his back and frowned. No, because if he did that, they would make it their mission to get him laid and “de-virginify” him as Goldberg had said. And if he said Adam wasn’t a virgin, they’d want to know who it was. He lost either way.
Lying there, Charlie didn’t know what to do. Glancing at the clock, though, he jumped.
“Shit!” He was late for class. Grabbing his books, he left Goldberg’s mess behind and made sure to lock the door behind him.
*
“Did you do this?” Adam’s accusatory voice met Charlie as he dragged himself into the dorm after a long day of classes. Whoever said senior year was supposed to be easy clearly hadn’t been to Eden Hall.
Adam stood in the middle of the room, gesturing at the clothes strewn on the floor. Shutting the door behind him, Charlie dumped his bag on the desk chair.
“Were you looking for porn again?” Adam asked, grabbing a shirt and refolding it. “I told you I don’t have any.”
“You so do,” Charlie corrected him. “But you’re lucky it’s not in there. That would be Goldberg searching for clues.”
Adam stared as Charlie crossed the room and collapsed on his bed. “Goldberg was in here?”
“Found him rifling through your underwear drawer this morning. Good thing you don’t have any weird fetishes.”
Adam shook his head, tossing the shirt he’d just folded on the bed where it crumpled again. “This is ridiculous. Why do they even care?”
Charlie shrugged. “They’re bored.” He didn’t have any other explanation. He never said it was a good reason.
Adam’s shoulders fell as he gazed at the mess and he sighed deeply. Watching him, Charlie felt a tug somewhere in his stomach. He didn’t like Adam looking like that.
Sliding off his bed, he wrapped his arms around Adam from behind and pressed his lips to Adam’s neck.
“They’ll get bored of this too. And then it’ll be a bet to see how many pucks Goldberg can take without padding on. They’re idiots.”
Adam nodded but he didn’t reply, and Charlie could feel the tenseness of his body. He knew it wasn’t just because of the mess.
“I’ll help you clean up,” he offered, and Adam finally cracked a small smile.
“You don’t know how to fold right.”
“I’ve been doing laundry my whole life,” Charlie pointed out, tucking his chin over Adam’s shoulder. “I know how to fold a shirt.”
“I’ll teach you,” Adam said instead, turning in Charlie’s grip and kissing him easily. There was something comforting in the ease of the action, how Adam didn’t stop to think about it and Charlie was happy to get it. They didn’t get much further than a kiss, much to Charlie’s disappointment. He wasn’t going to get any until this blew over and it was all Goldberg, and Averman, and Portman’s fault.
Sitting on the bed with Adam, their thighs pressed together, he forced himself to listen as Adam showed him the proper way to fold his shirts.
*
“How about Sarah?” Averman whispered, and Dean shook his head with a sneer.
“We’re not looking for girls you wanna bang.”
“Then who would you suggest, Mr. School Stud,” Averman replied sarcastically. Charlie frowned at his tray. He shouldn’t have been listening. He didn’t want to know what this was about, though he had a sinking feeling he already did.
The cafeteria was filled with students, the chatter drowning out this particular conversation.
“Jessica Bateman,” Portman replied with a knowing grin.
“She’s a complete slut.”
“Exactly.”
Charlie couldn’t take it anymore. “What are you—”
Before he could finish, though, Adam appeared at the table, sliding into the seat next to Charlie.
“Hey, guys,” he greeted them, completely unaware of the conversation that had been taking place not two seconds before.
“Hey,” Portman grunted. Averman, on the other hand, leaned over the table.
“So, you going to the dance?”
Adam frowned. “Didn’t we already go over this?”
“Yeah, but you can’t sit’em all out, Banksy! What is the high school experience without bad dancing, spiked punch, and a terrible kiss at the end of the night?”
Adam cracked open his soda. “You don’t make it sound too appealing.”
“What about if we find you a date?” Averman added, his eyes wide as though trying to hypnotize Adam into saying yes.
Charlie wished there was something he could do here, but all he could do was watch the trainwreck happening. He almost wished Goldberg or Fulton were there to butt in and insist Adam didn’t need a date. In a way, they were on Charlie’s side since there was no way Charlie wanted Adam to go on a date with some girl, especially if it was Jessica Bateman.
Adam’s gaze flickered to Charlie for a second, a momentary hint of panic. “I’m really good. I’m not planning on going.”
“But everyone’s going. Charlie, you’re going, right?”
Now it was Charlie’s turn to be put on the spot. He usually did go to the dances, but only because he was captain, and he never took a date, or at least he hadn’t since he’d started this with Adam. Before, he’d taken girls, but nothing much had usually happened afterwards.
“Maybe. I don’t know,” he said with a shrug. “I’ve been to plenty.”
“But it’s Senior year,” Averman insisted. “Neither of you has an excuse! The dance is in two weeks. That gives you plenty of time to find dates.”
Adam didn’t reply this time, swirling the mashed potatoes on his tray, but Charlie knew what that meant. He was worried. Not that Charlie wasn’t worried either. If the guys didn’t stop pushing, bad things might happen.
“What are the chances you’ll score a goal in the game against the Hawks, Averman?” he asked a second later, changing the subject as Averman squawked in protest.
Adam didn’t join in the conversation the rest of lunch, though, and there was nothing Charlie could do to reassure him as they packed up and went their separate ways to classes. He only hoped this didn’t get too out of hand before it was over.
*
“Heard Portman’s trying to set Banks up with Jessica,” Fulton said as he slammed into Charlie. Charlie slid back on his skates, knocking into the wall and losing the puck in the process.
“Says who?” Charlie asked, though he was more intent on getting the puck back, especially when Coach Orion’s voice echoed around the ring.
“Portman,” Fulton said matter-of-factly.
“I don’t get why you guys care,” Charlie said, shoving Fulton away from the wall and swiping the puck out from under him. He took off down the ice, darting around Connie and passing it off to Adam on the far side. Fulton caught up with him, cuffing him on the shoulder.
“Bet’s a bet, Conway. Once it’s been made, you can’t take it back.”
“Yeah, but why does it matter?”
Fulton shrugged. “Banks has always been quiet, secretive. We’ve been on a team together for almost ten years. You’d think we’d know more about him, that’s all.”
He did have a point, Charlie hated to admit. Adam was extremely private about his life. It was just how he’d been brought up—to stay quiet, polite, surface-level relationships only. Adam was friends with just about everyone, but very few people actually knew him.
Fulton left Charlie to catch up with Portman as Orion’s whistle shrieked in the ring.
“Conway! What are you doing? Get out there!”
Shaking himself, Charlie tightened his grip on his stick and headed for the end of the arena.
*
They’d turned off the light half an hour ago, but Charlie couldn’t fall asleep. It wasn’t that he hadn’t gotten off in days, though that certainly didn’t help. His mind was stuck on this stupid bet and how they were supposed to get through it. Portman and Averman were dead set on getting Adam laid just to win, and Goldberg was looking for any kind of solid proof that it hadn’t happened.
There was no noise in the room and the hallway was silent as well. A faint electrical buzzing came from one of the plugs, but otherwise, Charlie could hear nothing. It had used to freak him out when he’d first moved in, after so long of living in an apartment where there was a constant rush of cars and people outside his window.
He couldn’t even hear Adam’s breathing, though he heard a vague rustle of covers that must have been him turning over. He was surprised, then, when his own covers moved and the bed dipped.
Adam crawled in beside him, and Charlie scooted over to let him. They didn’t do this often. Charlie figured it was easier, and safer, to separate what they were if they slept in their own beds. He didn’t stop Adam, though, a hand resting on his shoulder as Adam settled in.
“We could lie,” Adam said after a long pause in which Charlie thought maybe they weren’t going to speak.
He couldn’t see Adam in the dark, but he could feel him, his body pressed against his, his head on the pillow next to him. The bed wasn’t realistically big enough for two people, but Charlie wasn’t going to kick him out.
“About what?” he asked, seeking out Adam’s hair in the dark. He slid his fingers through it, imagining Adam closing his eyes.
“You could just tell them I’m a virgin,” Adam murmured.
“Then they’d definitely try to hook you up with someone,” Charlie pointed out. “And I’d have to watch them throw girls at you, and you’d have to have girls thrown at you.”
Adam shifted closer, hands curled against Charlie’s chest. “Then tell them I’m not.”
“They’d wanna know who.”
Adam sighed, a warm puff of air against Charlie’s collarbone. Charlie’s stomach fluttered dangerously at the closeness. So far, they hadn’t defined what they were. They were just a secret.
“Then make someone up,” Adam said finally, and Charlie could feel his nose brushing against his throat.
“You’d be okay with that?”
“No, but at least they’d stop asking.”
Charlie frowned, sliding his hand over Adam’s jaw and tipping his face up. “It’s a catch-22. We can’t win.”
“I don’t like this,” Adam said a second later, and Charlie could almost feel his gaze.
Moving in slowly, he kissed Adam. It was soft but firm, the kind of kiss that made Charlie feel grounded and like he was floating at the same time. It had only ever happened with Adam.
Adam’s hand curled around Charlie’s wrist as he kissed back, opening his mouth to Charlie’s and sucking on his tongue. If it had been any other night, any other time than during this stupid bet, Charlie would have rolled Adam onto his back and given him the best blowjob of his life. As it were, there was something different about his kisses, a hint of desperation unrelated to getting off like it usually was. Charlie felt a sudden surge of protectiveness as he kissed Adam slowly, ignoring the stirring in his cock. That wasn’t the point tonight.
“I’m glad it’s you, Charlie,” Adam said when the kiss broke, the words whispered against his lips, and though Charlie wasn’t sure what they meant, he kissed Adam one last time before sinking down and staring at the ceiling while Adam relaxed against him and fell asleep.
*
“Secret girlfriend got you down?”
Charlie looked up as Portman took the seat across from him. Charlie had sort of been looking forward to some solitary studying when he’d slunk into the library half an hour ago. As far as he knew, no one but Adam knew he was there, but he supposed it had been too much to hope that none of his teammates would seek him out. They always did.
He sighed at his textbook. “For last time, there is no—”
“Yeah, yeah,” Portman interrupted. “You’re just moping around because Goldberg can’t stop a goal to save his life.”
Charlie shrugged, though he had a point. He really needed to talk to Orion about putting Julie in more often.
He didn’t reply, though, scribbling down the math problem in his notebook. The guys would never believe the lack of secret girlfriend until they knew the truth, and well, Charlie wasn’t in the mood to tell them that. It had been bad enough, the past couple weeks. Adam was sinking deeper into himself and Charlie didn’t know how to pull him out of it.
“Look,” Portman said, lowering his voice and glancing around the library. Charlie wasn’t sure Portman had ever been in the library to do actual work. He only seemed to come there to discuss their teammates’ love lives. “I know you don’t like the whole Banks bet.”
Lifting his head, Charlie was taken aback. Portman didn’t usually acknowledge other people’s feelings when they didn’t affect him.
“So I’ll make it real easy,” Portman went on, and unease began to grow in Charlie’s stomach. “I talked to Jessica and she’s on board to take Banks to the dance. All he’s gotta do is ask. Then this’ll all be over.”
It wouldn’t be over, Charlie knew. It would just be the beginning of something much worse.
Shaking his head, he pushed himself back from the table. “This is not gonna end well, Portman.”
“Sure it is. Goldberg’s gonna owe me a hundred bucks once the dance is over.”
“I don’t think ganging up on Banks is good for the team,” Charlie said, packing up his books. “He’s always been singled out. We don’t need this our last year.”
“Come on, Charlie,” Portman said, watching him shove his books away. “It’s just a bet. Banks can handle it. Besides, if he’s going to Denver next year, he’s gotta get some experience in him while he can with girls with lower standards.”
“So you think he hasn’t had sex?”
Portman leaned over the table and Charlie hesitated clearing his things. “I’ll level with you, Conway. I’ve seen Banks talk to girls and it isn’t pretty. He may be rich and smart and a good hockey player, but we all know he’s awkward at the best of times. If we want to get him laid, we gotta help him. It’s our duty as friends.”
“What if he has?” Charlie asked after a second. “What if he isn’t a virgin?”
“Are you saying he isn’t?”
He sighed, shoving his hair back. He was never going to win. “I’m saying, what if he isn’t? Then all of this is pointless.”
“If he isn’t, then he should have told us,” Portman said, uncharacteristically serious. “What kind of friend doesn’t tell that shit to his team, or at the very least, you?” He gestured at Charlie and Charlie began to feel uncomfortable, shifting on the hard chair.
“Me?”
“You’re his best friend. You told him about your first time, right?”
Charlie didn’t know what to say. Technically, Adam had been his first real time, if you didn’t count shitty handjobs ten minutes before curfew or that one unfortunate blowjob at the homecoming dance last year.
“Er, yeah,” he mumbled finally and Portman seemed satisfied. The last thing Charlie needed was Portman asking who his first time had been. Charlie had been vague about it on purpose. Probably most of the guys assumed it had been Linda. Charlie wasn’t going to correct them.
“So if he hasn’t told you, then either he doesn’t trust you and he’s a shitty friend, or he hasn’t.”
Charlie’s stomach flipped over. He couldn’t just say that Adam wasn’t. It would have been so easy to do it, but Portman would want proof, a name, someone to corroborate the story.
“I’ve got more work to do,” Charlie said instead, rising from the chair.
“All you gotta do is get Banks to ask Jessica to the dance,” Portman said as Charlie grabbed his things. “She’ll do the rest.”
Charlie hurried away without answering. He didn’t like the idea of Jessica Bateman or the dance or any of those things relating to Adam.
He headed for the dorm where hopefully it might at least be free of teammates prying at Adam’s private life. As he rounded the corner to his hallway, he stopped short as he caught sight of Adam standing by the dorm room door, and to his immediate irritation, Jessica standing with him, tossing her long blond hair over her shoulder and laughing at something Adam said.
Adam, to his credit, seemed a little confused by all her hair flipping and the way she touched his arm.
“Yeah, I could help you with Calculus,” Adam was saying once Charlie forced the glare off his face and stepped towards them.
“You’ve always been so smart,” Jessica said with a sweet smile on her red-stained lips. “I could definitely use your help.”
Adam blinked, an eyebrow furrowing, but Charlie stepped up before he could reply. He cleared his throat and Adam jumped slightly.
“Charlie,” he said, a look of relief passing over his features as he turned to him.
“Hi, Charlie,” Jessica greeted him but turned her attention immediately back to Adam. “So we’ll set up a time later?”
“Sure,” Adam said, stepping back as Charlie pushed past and into the room. He didn’t want to stand around and watch Jessica pour herself all over Adam. He left the door open behind him but made a bit too much noise as he threw his bag at the foot of the desk and collapsed into the squeaky chair. He didn’t hear what Jessica said, but the door shut a minute later and Adam was alone.
Charlie huffed out a breath instead of answering Adam’s questioning gaze. In the back of his mind, he knew this wasn’t about him, but it affected him and it was making his life hell.
“You know what she’s doing, right?” he said finally, swinging around in the chair to where Adam still stood by the door.
“Jessica? She needs help with math.”
“It’s second semester Senior year,” Charlie pointed out. “Everyone’s already applied to colleges. They don’t need help with grades.”
“Some schools request your final grades.”
Charlie couldn’t believe Adam could be this dense. “She’s flirting with you.”
“That’s, no,” Adam protested with a jerky movement to his shoulders. “Why would she do that? She’s never even talked to me.”
“Because Portman told her to,” Charlie said, hearing the way he snapped the words, but he couldn’t help it.
To Charlie’s relief, Adam groaned. “God, is this part of that stupid bet still? Jesus, when is it gonna end?”
Charlie shrugged, but he would admit to feeling relieved at Adam’s reaction. It wasn’t that he expected Adam to fall for Jessica’s flirtations, but Adam sometimes didn’t see what was right in front of him. It could get him in to trouble.
“I’ve been instructed to convince you to ask Jessica to the dance.”
Clutching at his head, Adam crossed to his bed and fell face forward on it, groaning into his pillow. He said something, but it was muffled by the pillow and Charlie frowned.
“What?”
Adam huffed. “Ijs wt’this g’way.”
Picking himself up, Charlie crossed the room and climbed on the bed beside Adam. He didn’t know what to do. There was no easy way out. Reaching over, he stroked Adam’s hair for a moment instead of saying anything.
At length, Adam pushed himself up, turning over and propping himself against the headboard. He sighed, shoving his hair from his face.
“Maybe I should just do it.”
“Do what?”
“Go to the dance with Jessica.” Adam met Charlie’s gaze, resigned, but Charlie frowned.
“That’s stupid.”
“What else am I supposed to do?” Adam demanded, drawing his knees to his chin. “They’re not gonna leave me alone. And I can’t just make someone up. They wouldn’t believe it.”
“You can’t go to the dance with Jessica,” Charlie argued, staring at Adam. He couldn’t believe he was even considering it.
“I can’t go with you,” Adam pointed out. “I’ll just go and get it over with.”
Charlie shifted on the bed to face Adam. Something constricted his chest as he searched Adam’s face. “They’re expecting you to sleep with her.”
“I know.” Adam sighed. “I just—I don’t know. Do you have a better idea?”
Charlie wished he did. He really did. “Ugh, why did they start this stupid bet?”
Adam’s head hit the headboard with a clunk and he closed his eyes.
“The only way to stop it is to tell them the truth,” Charlie said at length. He watched Adam open his eyes slowly and stare at the ceiling.
It was a big thing to ask, and Charlie wasn’t even sure he was ready. He and Adam hadn’t even clearly defined what they were doing half the time. It wasn’t like they could go on dates or do much more than hookup in their own dorm room. Still, it felt more than just a hookup.
“I’ll ask Jessica tomorrow,” Adam said finally, not meeting Charlie’s gaze. “Then maybe we can move on.” He hesitated then leaned over and pressed a kiss to Charlie’s lips, soft and almost too careful. “I have homework to do,” he murmured when he pulled back.
Charlie didn’t stop him from sliding off the bed. He had homework to do too, but he was less concerned with math at the moment and more concerned with the way Adam avoided his eyes as he grabbed his bag and sat down at his desk.
*
Charlie tried not to watch as Jessica cornered Adam after English class, packing up his things louder than necessary.
“That bastard!” Goldberg’s loud voice in his ear made Charlie jump.
Charlie tried, he really tried, but Goldberg was staring at Adam and Jessica and now Charlie was too.
Jessica giggled in a practiced way that Charlie was sure no girl outside of a movie would do. Her hand brushed against Adam’s arm, and Adam didn’t flinch away, but Charlie would swear his smile was forced in return. Something deep inside Charlie boiled as he watched them, bubbling up to the surface, and he wasn’t sure he could stand to watch this.
“Portman’s behind this, isn’t he?” Goldberg demanded as Charlie shoved the rest of his things in his bag haphazardly and practically knocked over a desk in his hurry to leave the classroom. Goldberg dogged him, still craning to watch Adam and Jessica. “Banks doesn’t stand a chance! Charlie, we gotta do something.”
“No!” Charlie snapped, swinging his bag over his shoulder. “If you two hadn’t started this stupid bet, everything would be fine. You want to do something? Call it off! Take the high road and stop prying into other people’s lives.” He sped up, leaving Goldberg gaping behind him.
“Conway!”
Charlie wasn’t in the mood to explain himself. He’d had enough of the speculation, enough of trying to outdo the other. He was just tired. He didn’t have time to worry about this anyway, he told himself. Graduation was coming up and then he and Adam would be off to different schools. Shaking himself, he pushed through the crowds in the hallway. Adam could do whatever he wanted.
*
The ice was the only place Charlie truly felt like he’d ever belonged. As a kid, it had been his escape. He may not have been the best player on the team but hockey was home to him.
The ring was empty, a few dim lights flickering overhead, but mostly the only light came from the moon outside. If Coach knew he was here, after hours, he’d get in big trouble, but Charlie didn’t care. He didn’t care about anything right now.
Blades scraped against the ice, gliding smoothly with every step. The puck moved before his stick, and for a moment, everything made sense. When he was alone on the ice, he wasn’t Charlie the Captain or Charlie the Caretaker. He was just Charlie, an eighteen year old kid who only had to worry about his summer plans. He thought maybe he’d get a job and save some money before school started.
Scoring a goal wasn’t as satisfying when there was no one to guard the net, and Charlie stopped in front of it. Sighing at the puck, he didn’t bother scoring.
He was avoiding going back to the dorms.
He knew what he would be going back to. Adam would probably be there and he would have asked Jessica to the dance. The damage was done. The simple solution, his brain added unhelpfully, was to simply tell the truth. But Charlie wasn’t sure what the truth even was. They weren’t dating, not like going out to dinner and holding hands on walks in the park kind of dating. Not that they could do that anyway. Maybe if everyone knew, they might hold hands… Charlie shook his head. He was letting his imagination run wild.
He had to go back to the dorm, he told himself firmly, but his feet didn’t move. He couldn’t avoid Adam forever.
Well, maybe just a little longer. Scooping up the puck with his stick, he turned and headed for the opposite goal. His problems would still be there when he got back. For now, the ice was his.
*
“Hey.” Adam greeted Charlie as he pushed the door open and stepped inside. He’d stayed out on the ice as long as he could, but he couldn’t avoid it forever.
Adam sat on his bed, a book half-fallen in his lap as he watched Charlie enter and shut the door behind him. His eyes followed Charlie as Charlie kicked off his shoes and moved to his own bed. Charlie didn’t reply, shrugging off his jacket and pushing the scattered clothes off his bed. Adam didn’t even make a face as they slumped on the floor.
“Where’ve you been?” Adam asked, and Charlie sat down on his bed.
“Practicing,” he said finally because he couldn’t not talk to Adam. They’d tried that once, back in Freshman year, and it had been agony even for a few weeks.
“Charlie,” Adam said, but Charlie didn’t want to hear it. He didn’t want to hear about Jessica and the dance and the date.
Pushing off the bed, he rummaged in the piles of clothes on the floor. “I need to take a shower.”
Adam set his book aside and Charlie tried not to look back at him. He didn’t want to see the hurt and confusion there.
“I didn’t have a choice,” Adam said despite Charlie’s words.
Charlie stiffened but yanked out a pair of clean boxers. “I know.”
“You know but you’re still acting like you’re upset.”
Rising, Charlie forced himself to turn around. Adam sat on his bed, knees curled up to his chest, a crease between his brows.
“I’m not upset,” he said, trying to force himself to believe it. They had to do it for this stupid bet. There was no way out. “So you’re going to the dance with Jessica. That’s fine.”
“It’s fine?” Adam repeated, eyebrows rising, and Charlie scowled at the floor.
“Yeah,” he said shortly. “It’s just a dance, right? A dance where there’ll be spiked punch and girls in flimsy dresses, and Jessica whispering in your ear all night while Portman and Averman watch, hoping they’ll win a hundred bucks at the end.” He turned from Adam as anger rose in his chest, unbidden, unexpected. “And you’ll go off with Jessica and they’ll win their stupid bet.”
“I’m not gonna sleep with her,” Adam said, sounding hurt that Charlie would even assume such a thing.
“Then why bother going out with her?” Charlie asked, sharp. He turned to face him, face Adam’s frown. “Why not just say no?”
Adam’s shoulders dropped, defeated, and for a second, Charlie just wanted to hug him and figure out a way to fix it, but he was too angry to do it. “Because if I didn’t, they would never stop.”
It was true and Charlie knew it, but he didn’t like it. He squared his shoulders instead. “So you’re gonna go out with some girl to a dance you don’t even want to go to?”
“What choice do I have, Charlie?” Adam demanded, sliding off his bed to step up to him. This close, Charlie could see the clear blue of his eyes, the sharpness of his nose. “It hasn’t gone away, this stupid bet. It hasn’t blown over. The only way to stop it is to tell the truth.”
The truth. What was the truth? Charlie stared at Adam, the curves of his pale lips, eyebrows furrowed, almost pleading, pleading for Charlie to come up with a solution. Charlie didn’t have one, and he hated how his heart contracted, like it was being squeezed.
“What truth?” he asked finally, and Adam’s frown deepened.
“That we’re…”
“We’re what?” Charlie interrupted, a surge of annoyance rising as he stared at Adam. “I don’t know what we are. I don’t know what this is.”
For a second, Adam simply stared, head tilted to the side slightly. He blinked and took a step back. “Oh.”
Charlie bit his lip, not saying anything to fix the hurt look in Adam’s eyes, the confusion as Adam searched his face for an answer.
“Adam,” he said as Adam returned to his bed without another word, yanking open his book and raising his knees to hide from Charlie. Charlie didn’t have an end to that thought, only that he didn’t want Adam looking like he’d just kicked his puppy.
Adam didn’t reply, hiding behind his book. With a frustrated noise, Charlie grabbed his towel from the floor and left the dorm. As the door clicked shut behind him, he sighed. What had he just done? He didn’t have an answer, so he headed to the showers. Maybe there he’d be able to think.
*
“Charlie.” A pencil poked Charlie in the back, but he determinedly didn’t turn around, trying to focus on what Mrs. Jenkins was saying about metaphors. “Charlie.” Goldberg poked him again, and Charlie reached back, yanking the pencil out of his grip.
Charlie didn’t want to talk to Goldberg about whatever his plans were for the dance, his “brilliant” scheme to keep Adam a virgin, or whatever semblance he could be.
He hadn’t talked to Adam since the fight, an unbearable couple of days. He knew he should apologize for being such an asshole, but it wouldn’t solve their problem. Adam was still going to the dance with Jessica, and the only way out was to tell the truth.
Charlie just wasn’t sure he was ready. It was stupid, really. The team likely wouldn’t care, and they only had a month left in school anyway before they were off for the summer, off to college where it would matter even less. It was just that telling everyone meant making it real, no longer a secret where he could ignore that he felt more than just lust when Adam was around. Adam was going to Denver in a couple months, far from Charlie at good old University of Minnesota. In a couple months, Charlie wouldn’t see him anymore. It already hurt to think about, and Charlie didn’t want to think why.
When class let out, Charlie wasn’t fast enough out to escape Goldberg cornering him in the hall.
“What?” Charlie asked, too impatient. Goldberg didn’t seem to notice, bouncing around to stop Charlie from moving down the hall.
“Adam’s going to the dance with Jessica, right?” Golberg asked, and Charlie sighed, pushing past him. He didn’t want to be involved in this bet. It had already ruined his life enough. Golberg followed him like a dog, unperturbed. “So I’m thinking we intercept, find someone she’ll like more and she’ll have to ditch him.”
“I’m not involved in this,” Charlie said, though he was, tragically.
“Don’t you care about Banks?” Goldberg demanded, forcing Charlie to stop. “Don’t you care?”
It was too much as Charlie stood there, staring into Golberg’s insincere face.
“I think I’m the only one that does!” he snapped, clearly surprising Goldberg. “If you guys cared at all, you would leave him alone and drop this stupid bet that’s not doing anyone any good! Why does it matter who he has or hasn’t slept with? I’m so sick of being in the middle of this. If you want to find out, do it yourself and leave me out of it.”
He turned on his heel and strode the opposite way down the hall, away from his next class, but he didn’t care. He didn’t care that he’d just yelled at Goldberg. The whole team would know in a matter of hours. Then he’d have to deal with Connie asking what was wrong, Portman and Fulton saying he was being stupid, Golberg pretending to act hurt until he apologized. He didn’t have anything to apologize for, not to Goldberg. They should never have started this in the first place.
Pushing open the front doors, Charlie stepped into the sun, breathing in the sharp scent of spring. It wasn’t quite warm yet, the last vestiges of winter clinging to the grass. He stood on the steps for a minute, convincing himself to turn around and go back to class. He wasn’t fourteen anymore. He couldn’t just run away to the Mall whenever things went badly.
Maybe he’d just stay out here a few minutes longer, he reasoned as he sat down on the steps. What could it hurt?
*
Charlie hated dances. Well, not all dances, just this particular one. Leaning against the wall, he crossed his arms and tried not to search for Adam. He hadn’t been in the dorm earlier, and Charlie hadn’t waited around for him to come back.
He was being stupid, he knew that, but he didn’t see a way to fix this that didn’t involve admitting feelings to everyone that he hadn’t even admitted to himself yet.
“No secret girlfriend?” Portman slid up beside Charlie, not looking dressed for a dance at all. Charlie had at least put on a button-down shirt in an attempt to fit in. Portman’s t-shirt was likely to get him kicked out.
“For the last time,” Charlie said, but Portman shook his head.
“Who’re you looking for?”
“No one.” Charlie tapped his fingers against his arms and scowled at the streamers overhead. Some sappy pop song was playing, and god, what he wouldn’t have given to be back in his dorm with Adam right now, but he was here, not so subtly looking for Adam and Jessica on the dance floor.
“Hear you yelled at Goldberg.”
Charlie hadn’t apologized for that either. Goldberg deserved to be put in his place once in a while. Besides, Portman was just as at fault as Goldberg was. He was the one who’d set Adam up with Jessica in the first place.
“I’ll tell you the same thing,” he said instead, his heart thudding as he caught sight of Adam finally. He looked nice in his slacks and shirt, and Jessica’s dress was entirely too sparkly, catching the lights, and way too short in Charlie’s opinion.
“Why do you care?” Portman asked abruptly, distracting Charlie from following Adam and Jessica as they entered the room.
“What?” He straightened up, slightly, but he was still a good few inches shorter than Portman.
Portman nodded at Adam across the room. “You’re really against this whole bet thing.”
“I just think it’s stupid,” Charlie said, heart beating faster at the question. Portman couldn’t know, could he? They’d always been so careful. “It’s not good for the team. Adam’s always been picked on, and singling him out like this is—”
“We’re just trying to get a better understanding of the guy,” Portman interrupted. “Not all of us know him like you do.”
Charlie wasn’t sure what that meant, but they were interrupted a second later by the blinding flash off Jessica’s dress as she pulled Adam over.
“Dean,” she greeted him flirtatiously. Beside her, Adam looked almost pained, but he avoided Charlie’s gaze and pulled a smile onto his face. “Charlie. Enjoying the dance?”
“Yeah, it’s great,” Charlie muttered, eyeing Adam, who said nothing.
“You didn’t bring a date?” she asked, and Adam’s eyes darted up.
“Nope,” he said, wondering why she was even talking to him. Beside him, Dean seemed content to watch the trainwreck rather than help.
“Maybe you can dance with Sierra. She thinks you’re cute.”
Charlie didn’t care what Sierra thought of him. He only cared that Adam looked miserable, and somehow, this was all his fault.
“Well, have fun,” she said brightly, taking Adam’s arm and flashing him a smile. “See you later.”
She dragged Adam away and Charlie frowned after.
“Oh yeah,” Portman said as they left. “He won’t be a virgin after tonight.”
He slapped Charlie on the shoulder and headed for the refreshments table, leaving Charlie to glower by the wall.
*
Adam and Jessica danced. Charlie hadn’t even known Adam knew how to dance, but he supposed, all rich people knew how to dance. It was in their blood. They danced until finally, Adam went to get them drinks and Jessica retreated to her group of friends, giggling and laughing about something, Adam probably.
The punch had been spiked by some enterprising students an hour ago, but Charlie had steered clear. He took the opportunity to sneak up beside Adam, though, as Adam fished out two glasses.
“Jessica seems to be having a good time,” he said, and Adam barely glanced at him.
“I guess.”
Behind them, Averman was on the dance floor with some girl, twirling her around too enthusiastically. Fulton and Portman were in the corner, probably mocking everyone. Charlie didn’t know where Goldberg was, and he didn’t care. All that mattered was that Adam wouldn’t look him in the eye and it was killing him.
“Connie and Guy snuck off half an hour ago,” he said, watching for a reaction, anything, from Adam. “I wonder how long until the principal finds them.”
“Don’t,” Adam said abruptly, a strain in his voice.
“Don’t what?”
“Don’t pretend everything’s normal, Charlie,” Adam said, lowering his voice though there was no one nearby. “If you don’t want to be with me, that’s fine. It’s… fine.” He bit his lip and looked away from Charlie. “Just don’t pretend like you care. I’m here with Jessica, and this bet is going to end tonight.”
Charlie stared, his throat tightening as Adam turned, drinks in hand. “Adam, wait.”
Adam paused, but he cast his gaze down. “Jessica’s waiting.”
Charlie couldn’t do anything as Adam left. His stomach coiled into a knot as he turned back to the punchbowl, away from Adam and Jessica and everything that meant. He grabbed a glass.
*
The punch was stronger than Charlie had expected. After three glasses, he could already feel the buzz. It wasn’t exactly a pleasant buzz that made him feel warm and happy inside. Instead, he felt sad as he watched Jessica laughing at something Adam said as they danced.
It was well past ten already, the time Charlie would have normally skipped out on these things and gone to find Adam in the dorm. But Adam was here, doing some kind of waltz that Charlie had never seen him do. Jessica actually seemed like she was having a good time, and it made Charlie’s stomach clench as he watched them.
“What are we gonna do?” Goldberg appeared at his side, an unexpected and unwelcome surprise as Charlie lingered by the punch bowl. He gestured at Adam and Jessica as if Charlie wasn’t clearly watching them already. “I’m gonna lose a hundred bucks.”
Charlie didn’t care about a hundred dollars or Goldberg losing the bet. He just cared about how Jessica touched Adam’s arm, softly but with purpose. Something deep inside reared its ugly head, shouting at her to stop touching him.
Portman stepped up next to them, a smug look on his face as he watched the couple. “Looks like I win.”
“Not yet,” Goldberg argued. “Besides, you totally cheated.”
“If he was a virgin, he won’t be anymore.” Portman smirked and Goldberg huffed.
Charlie contemplated getting a fourth cup of punch so he wouldn’t have to listen to them argue anymore.
“But what if he is?” Goldberg said, and Portman shrugged.
“Unless you got proof, you’re about to lose.” He nodded at the dance floor and Charlie looked over. Jessica had Adam’s hand in hers and was leading him towards the door.
Charlie’s stomach turned over, his heart stuttering over a beat. This couldn’t be happening. Adam wouldn’t really, would he?
Charlie didn’t know what made him do it, though he’d later blame the punch or maybe it was Portman laughing in his ear, but he stumbled across the room just as Adam and Jessica made it to the door.
“Adam, wait,” he said, voice too desperate, but it was enough that Adam stopped, turning to him.
“What?” he asked, reticent. Jessica still had his hand, and Charlie wanted to rip it away.
“Don’t go,” he managed to get out, vaguely aware that Goldberg and Portman had followed him. Averman had stopped spinning his date and was watching too now. Charlie didn’t know where the rest of the team was, but they couldn’t be far away. They never were.
Adam hesitated, eyes darting around at the people surrounding them. Jessica seemed confused by the whole scene, smoothing down her hair and frowning at Charlie.
“Why not?”
Charlie couldn’t find words to express what he wanted. He wanted to tell Adam that he was sorry, that he should never have suggested they keep things a secret, even if it had been a mutual decision at the time, that he shouldn’t have let this bet get so out of control, that he didn’t want to stop doing whatever they were doing.
Instead, all he managed was, “Because I don’t want you to.”
For a long moment, it was just him and Adam, staring at each other while some insipid pop song played in the background. Not exactly the music Charlie would have chosen for such a moment.
“Charlie,” Adam said, reluctantly, fingers tightening in Jessica’s hand. The movement spurred Charlie to take a step forward.
“No,” he said quickly, alcohol swirling through his veins. “I was wrong. I should have—we should have stopped it right from the start. I don’t want you to go with her.”
“Uh, Conway?” Goldberg asked from behind him, sounding confused and a little scared. “What the hell’s going on?”
Charlie was in it now, but all he could think of was getting Jessica to let go of Adam’s hand, to get Adam to stop staring at him like he was crazy.
“Please,” he said, and his chest swelled as Adam finally dropped Jessica’s hand.
“What’s happening?” Averman asked, but Portman punched him in the shoulder, hard.
“Are you sure?” Adam asked, looking nervous as he met the eyes of the rest of the guys. Charlie had had enough punch that he didn’t care what this looked like. “You said you didn’t…”
“What the fuck did I know?” Charlie didn’t know how he felt except that he didn’t want Adam sleeping with some girl for a stupid bet. He wanted Adam in his arms, in his bed, in his life, forever. “I’m an idiot.”
Adam didn’t argue with that, but he still looked reluctant. “I don’t know.”
“I’m sorry,” Charlie blurted out, apparently unable to control his mouth. What was in that punch? “I shouldn’t have said we weren’t anything. I was mad and confused, and I don’t know what we are. I just know I like you.”
“Okay, what the hell—ow!” Goldberg cringed away from Portman’s hand twisting his nipple.
Charlie took a step toward Adam. “Please, just don’t go with her.”
“But the bet,” Adam said, and Charlie shook his head.
“You’re right. Somebody is gonna win tonight.”
Adam blinked at him, but the anxiety disappeared as he smiled and Charlie pulled him into a hug.
“You owe me a hundred bucks,” Portman said smugly from behind them.
“What?” Goldberg shrieked. “How?”
“Excuse me,” Jessica said over Goldberg’s indignant screech. “Half of that’s mine.”
Charlie pulled away from Adam and braced himself turning to the team that had gathered behind him. Most looked shocked, some just confused, and Portman smirked, much to Charlie’s unease.
Charlie cleared his throat and felt a small burst of happiness when Adam slipped his hand into his. “Guys, I guess we have something to tell you.”
Goldberg and Averman’s mouths dropped open, but Portman and Fulton high-fived.
“You’re gay?” Goldberg asked, “you’re gay with Banks?”
“Uh, yeah,” Charlie said, glancing at Adam, who only flushed a little at the outright nature of it. “Have been for a while.”
A multitude of questions burst out from the group, and Charlie couldn’t separate them. He felt Adam shift closer, fingers twining in his. Exactly how it was supposed to be, Charlie found himself thinking, unperturbed by the team talking over one another, Goldberg arguing that Portman had somehow, again, cheated.
“Maybe we should get out of here,” Adam muttered in his ear, and Charlie nodded. They could deal with this mess later. Now, he just wanted to get Adam alone.
They slipped away somehow, leaving Goldberg and Averman arguing with Portman. Their dorm was blissfully quiet and Charlie clicked the lock as soon as the door shut.
Adam stopped in the middle of the room, turning to him slowly. “Did you mean that?”
“Mean what?” It felt so good just to talk to Adam, let alone be in a room with him without that unbearable tension.
“That you like me.”
Charlie smiled. “Of course I like you. You’re my best friend.”
“Then why’d you…” Adam didn’t finish, tugging his tie apart and tossing it on the bed behind him.
Charlie chewed on his lip for a second. He couldn’t keep pretending that everything was okay. “I think I more than like you,” he said finally. “And it was kind of scary because in a few months, you’ll be gone, and I don’t know what to do about that.”
Adam fell silent for a moment. In that time, Charlie’s heart rate sped up, nerves overtaking him. He didn’t have any answers about the future, and he’d never really let himself think about the possibility of loving Adam like that. They’d been best friends for years, and Charlie didn’t know what to do without Adam. It was a terrifying thought.
“There’s nothing to do,” Adam said slowly. “You’ll always be my best friend, and you’ll always be more than that. Going to college doesn’t change anything.”
“But you’ll be gone.”
“I’ll be back for holidays.” Adam stepped forward, and Charlie wrapped his arms around his waist, wanting to feel the solidness of his body pressed against him. He took a deep breath, his head clearing slightly from the alcohol. “I hope you’ll still be here.”
“Of course I will,” Charlie assured him. He leaned into Adam, breathing in the cologne he’d put on for the evening.
“Then there’s nothing to worry about.”
Charlie wouldn’t have said all his fears had been allayed, but he felt better. Adam had forgiven him for being such an idiot, and that was a start. Now they just had to put a stop to this whole bet nonsense.
Cringing, he pulled back from Adam sharply. “Please tell me I did not just out us to the entire team tonight?”
“Almost everyone. Guy and Connie weren’t there, but I’m sure they’ll hear soon enough.”
Charlie groaned, burying his face in Adam’s neck as Adam hugged him closer. “Perfect.”
“It’s better this way,” Adam said. “At least we don’t have to hide anymore.”
It was a small consolation to everyone knowing, but Charlie figured he only had himself to blame. He hadn’t been thinking properly in those few moments, so desperate to get Adam out of Jessica’s clutches.
“Was it my imagination or did Portman seem way too happy about that?”
“Something was definitely fishy.”
They’d have to deal with it, but at the moment, all Charlie wanted to do was crawl into bed, preferably with Adam.
“It’s been a long night,” he said, pulling back and pressing a kiss to Adam’s lips. Adam kissed him back, softly, easily. “Let’s just deal with it in the morning.”
Adam smiled and undressed quickly, not even bothering to hang up his shirt. Instead, he left it crumpled on his bed and didn’t ask before climbing in with Charlie. The bed wasn’t really big enough for the two of them, but Charlie turned out the lamp and curled around Adam anyway, feeling his breath against his chin.
“And now you know why I don’t go to dances,” Adam murmured through the darkness, and Charlie smiled, carding a hand through his hair.
“They’re not all so eventful.”
“Still,” Adam replied, softly. “I think this will be the last for me.”
Charlie kissed him easily. He couldn’t blame him.
*
Charlie shouldn’t have been surprised when Portman found him in the library.
“No secret boyfriend anymore,” Portman declared, plopping down in the chair across from Charlie. A part of Charlie didn’t even want to know how Portman had figured it out, if he’d seen something or just knew. It wasn’t important.
“You did that on purpose,” he said instead.
Portman shrugged inconsequentially. “I had a hunch. I got a hundred bucks.”
Charlie didn’t want to know. So far, things with the team hadn’t been too weird aside from Goldberg complaining loudly to anyone who would listen how he’d been tricked.
“You’re a cruel man.”
Portman didn’t seem bothered by the accusation. “Honesty is the best policy, my dad always said. Of course, it got him put in jail, but it still stands. You and Banksy were keeping a secret.”
Charlie sighed. “I just didn’t want everyone to know.”
“Once a Duck, always a Duck,” Portman reminded him. “We’re your team, Conway.”
“I know.” Charlie smiled. They shouldn’t have kept it a secret for so long, but it was over now. Secret was out.
“So no more secrets,” Portman said seriously. “I don’t like having to share my winnings to get the truth. That Jessica is a ruthless woman.” He grinned, though.
Charlie shook his head. “No more secrets.”
“Good.” Portman slapped him on the back, hard enough he catapulted forward. “See at practice, Conway.”
He left Charlie alone at his table and Charlie sat there for a moment. It didn’t take him long to shut his book and shove it in his bag. No secrets. He wasn’t going to waste his time pretending he didn’t want to be with Adam, so he grabbed his bag and left the library. He was going to find Adam and make the most of the time they had left at Eden Hall, and whatever came after.
*
FIN