Archive of Our Own ^beta

It was a usual morning in the Armed Detective Agency. Every member flitting around doing their own work. Some doing their paperwork, some away on a mission. Some catching up on their paperwork, and some despairing over their fate of having to do their mentor’s paperwork.

“That bandage-wasting machine is late again!”

And some annoyed by their colleague’s habitual tardiness.

So yeah, the usual morning in one Armed Detective Agency.

The door slammed open, followed by a, “Hello, my beloved colleagues! What a fine morning it is to end our round of existence!”

A vein appeared on Kunikida’s forehead, accompanied by furious foot-tapping.

“Your late, Dazai,” Kunikida gritted out.

“Oh, am I? And here I thought I’d be early for once!” Dazai seemed mournful over the fact.

“For once in your miserable existence- “

Kunikida’s rant was cut off as Dazai skipped over to her mentee.

“Atsushi-kun, how is my favorite apprentice doing today?” Dazai draped herself over Atsushi, one hand moving to pinch his cheek like a little kid.

“I’m fine, Dazai-san. How are you?” Atsushi, like the good apprentice he was, didn’t move to free himself of Dazai’s weight. He’s too shy to admit it but Atsushi secretly enjoyed physical contact.

“Oh, just peachy!” Though Dazai-san sounded joyful as ever, Atsushi could hear a barely present weary note to her tone.

Before he could ask, he was interrupted by Kunikida-san.

“Dazai, stop distracting Atsushi from his work!”

“Jealous, Kunikida-kun?” A teasing quirk of a brow. Kunikida-san’s indignant ‘No!’ was swiftly ignored as Dazai-san continued on. “Thought I’d give you a break but it seems like Kunikida-kun missed me!”

Dazai had now moved on towards her work partner, leaning against his desk, nimble fingers plucking up his notebook from his hands.

“Oho, what are you writing, Kunikida-kun?”

“I’m correcting my schedule that you ruined!”

“And I’ve never been more proud of that fact!” Dazai gleefully replied.

“You-!” Kunikida was once again cut off by Dazai.

“Now, now, Kunikida-kun, stress isn’t good for you!”

“I wouldn’t stress if you- “

“Oh my, look at the time! Time for my coffee break.”

“Dazai! Get back to your work!”

“Work is for losers, Kunikida-kun. Plus, look at our dear Atsushi-kun, how tired he looks.” Dazai was back to putting all her attention on Atsushi.

“He wouldn’t be so tired if you stopped pushing your workload on him.”

Dazai froze, mock surprise painted over her face. “I did that?” she blinked owlishly at Atsushi.

Atsushi couldn’t help but give her a miserable smile, “yeah, you did.”

Dazai clutched at her chest, “Atsushi-kun! How could you?! Oh, the misery! To be betrayed by your own apprentice!”

When Dazai saw that her theatrics weren’t working, her expression morphed into a childish pout. “Oh well, good luck with it, Atsushi-kun. Moral support is the most I can do for you today.”

She slumped into her seat, face smushed against the desk, looking least bothered about making her apprentice do her work.

Silence ensued. Not the absolute or quiet one, but the one that took over when the hurricane named Dazai Osamu calmed. Dazai’s presence was bright and all-encompassing, the type that filled the room, made it whole. Her silence or absence made it seem similarly desolate.

Atsushi continued with his work. It was only him and Kunikida-san in the office. The Tanizaki siblings were at school, Kenji was back at his farm for a couple days. Ranpo-san was out on a case, accompanied by Yosano-san, obviously because he couldn’t navigate Yokohama for the life of him.

Atsushi still can’t get over that particular fact. And his ability. Or the lack of one, for that matter.

Kyouka on the other hand… Atsushi looked over to his right, where he’d seen Kyouka sorting papers before.

“Where did you get the cupcake from, Kyouka-chan?” Atsushi was mildly amazed. He hadn’t sensed Kyouka leaving his side since before Dazai-san stepped into the office.

“Dazai-san,” was Kyouka’s short answer.

A groan came from Atsushi’s right. Both looked over to the desk beside Atsushi’s. Dazai-san was still slumped over her desk, but one of her hands was rubbing at the tip of her shoulder.

“Dazai-san?” Atsushi called out. Dazai-san didn’t seem as annoying as she usually was.

No reply.

O-kay, Atsushi was a little concerned about his mentor. She didn’t seem as energetic today. Even Kunikida-san was let off lightly today. No seriously, Dazai’s morning routine of ‘Annoy Kunikida to his wits end' didn’t last as long. And Kunikida-san didn’t end up strangling Dazai-san.

Now that Atsushi thought about it, this was cause for concern. He tried again.

“Dazai-san, are you okay?”

This time there was a reply. Dazai-san sat up, hand moving to her lower back as she stretched.

“I’m fine, Atsushi-kun. Must have knocked my shoulder somewhere, that’s all. Pretty sure there’s a bruise, though I don’t remember from when.”

Oh. Didn’t seem serious. But with Dazai, you can never tell.

“You seem less energetic today. And kind of pale too.”

“Do I?”

Atsushi nodded, mirrored by Kyouka.

“I must not have gotten my beauty sleep!” Dazai whined. “Chibi’s such a brute, you know.”

Atsushi couldn’t think why Chuuya-san being a brute had anything to do with his mentor’s current fatigue. Given that Dazai-san and Chuuya-san’s relationship was a bit of an open secret by now, Atsushi couldn’t think of a reason why their weird love-less-hate-more dynamic would follow them behind closed doors just as it did in public.

In fact, even in public, there were times when they both seemed suffocatingly flirtatious. One moment they would be at each other’s throats, and the very next, they would be at each other’s throats in a very different manner, stopped only by their audience.

Not that it was any of Atsushi’s business. They could kill each other, kiss each oth–

Oh.

Atsushi’s eyes moved to follow the movements of Dazai-san’s hands and… and his face burst into flames.

Oh!

“Atsushi-kun,” there was a slight pause, Atsushi could hear his mind stutter to a halt. Oh no.

“What are you thinking?” there was a teasing lilt to the words, and sure enough, as Atsushi braved the courage to look at Dazai-san, he was met with a teasing twitch of her lips and a mischievous glint to her eyes.

“Nothing!” Atsushi was waving his hands in front of his face, as if to wave away the thoughts or rather the implications.

“Oh, this isn’t nothing! Hmm, what is it? Tell me. What did that oh so innocent mind of yours think up? Tell me, I wanna know~”

Atsushi was turning ever more red at his mentor’s teasing.

“Atsushi-kun, any more and you’ll combust!” A tinkle of laughter. “Your face almost rivals Chibi’s hair already.”

Atsushi sputtered. “I didn’t- that- it’s not!” Let it be said that words were not Atsushi’s strongest weapon.

“Leave him alone, Dazai.”

Thank god for Kunikida-san!

“You’re no fun Kunikida-kun.” Dazai pouted. “A little more and I would have succeeded in turning Atsushi-kun into an embarrassed cat. Kyouka-chan would have liked that too, right Kyouka-chan?”

“She wouldn’t-!”

“He’s red like the strawberry I like on my crepe.”

“Kyouka-chan!” Atsushi squawked, embarrassed and a little betrayed. Dazai-san’s laughter did not help.

Dazai-san wiped at the corner of her eyes, trying and failing to stifle her laughter. It took a while but she finally composed herself.

“Anyways, before Atsushi-kun goes ahead and gets the wrong idea,” Dazai-san looked pointedly at him and Atsushi could not help but mumble an embarrassed ‘I wasn’t!’ “Chibi woke me up sooo early, and those missed hours of sleep seemed to have messed with my complexion.”

Dazai-san sounded almost sad about that.

“Still didn’t make it on time,” Kunikida-san interjected, annoyed but beyond done with Dazai-san already.

“He made me have breakfast.”

That doesn’t explain why she’s late, Atsushi thought.

Kunikida-san said as much. “That doesn’t explain anything.”  

“But it does,” Dazai-san said as she got up, walking around her desk towards the door.

“Where are you going?” Kunikida-san asked suspiciously, the clicking of the keyboard paused to stare threateningly at Dazai-san.

“To the toilet, Kunikida-kun, wanna join?” Dazai-san asked with a quirked brow.

“No!” Kunikida-san cried in embarrassment.

“Whatever, don’t peek~” Dazai-san winked as she left the office.

Kunikida-san’s pen snapped.

_______________

 “Hey, I’m back,” Ranpo waved lazily, and before Kunikida-san could open his mouth, declared, “And I’m not doing another case.”

Kunikida-san sighed, defeated. Atsushi didn’t envy being in Kunikida-san’s place. It must be exhausting having to deal with two lazy geniuses.

Ranpo-san was at his desk, rummaging through his candy stash for whatever took his fancy. Dazai-san was quickly going through her paperwork. And by that Atsushi did not mean that she was completing her reports in a fit of motivation.

It simply meant that Dazai-san had used more than half of her very important and long due paperwork to make various origami forms, now tossed all over the office room. Her most recent creation being an origami plane, which she threw into the air with a playful ‘whoosh’. Dazai-san appeared way too pleased with herself for the mess she was creating.

Atsushi sighed. Well, she had been generous enough to gift Atsushi her tiger creation, claiming his desk was too plain and required some decorations.

Kyouka also got a bunny, which she hadn’t stopped staring at. Atsushi was getting a little worried about Kyouka, she hadn’t blinked for a while now.

There was also a cow for Kenji, a pair of cranes for the Tanizaki siblings, a raccoon for Ranpo-san, and a butterfly for Yosano-sensei.

Dazai-san had also made a cat for the President and presented it to him when he had been in the break room earlier. The conversation had gone something like this,

“Shachou, I made this,” Dazai-san presented the cat origami with a grand flourish, “for you!”

President stared at it for a while, and Atsushi almost thought he wouldn’t take it. But he did with extreme care, as if it would unravel with a touch.

“Thank you, Dazai. It is nice,” though his severe expression had not changed, Atsushi could detect a hint of warmth in his eyes.

“You’re welcome, Shachou,” Dazai grinned, heading back to her very messy desk.

As the President was heading back to his office, Dazai-san had looked up and said cheerfully, “Oh, I almost forgot! That really important case report Kunikida-kun asked me to fill because you needed it asap, I completed that for you. It’s there in your hands, so my duty here is done.”

President’s eyes flicked from Dazai-san to the cat carefully balanced in his palm, then back to Dazai-san. He nodded in acceptance, “I see.”

Dazai-san grinned, smug and mischievous. And that, Atsushi decided, was the most dangerous smile he had ever seen grace Dazai-san’s face. Atsushi was once again reminded that Dazai-san had been reputed as the youngest and the most dangerous executive of the Port Mafia.

Dazai-san knew well how to play on other people’s weaknesses. Everyone knew that President loved cats. But everyone did not know to use that as a weakness. Except Dazai-san.

Therefore, Atsushi knew, that very important case report was never seeing the light of day ever again.

“Sorry, Ranpo-san,” Dazai-san apologized as the paper plane crashed into Ranpo-san’s candy stash.

“It’s fine,” Ranpo-san waved away the apology. His eyes met Dazai-san’s. “You look pale.”

“Oh? Do I?” Dazai-san beamed.

“Hmm,” Ranpo-san scanned her over once. “You do.”

“Ch-”

“Don’t bother. I’m not as naïve as Atsushi to fall for that,” Ranpo-san rolled his eyes, an affronted look on his face. And Atsushi was once again reminded of his earlier assumption and subsequent embarrassment.

“Aw, and here I thought I’d get to have some fun,” Dazai-san pouted, crossing her arms, and slumping in her chair. A perfect picture of an overgrown child.

“You should go see, Yosano,” Ranpo-san advised.

“Oh. So, that’s what I was forgetting!” Dazai-san smacked a fist to her palm in triumph. “Thanks, Ranpo-san, I’ll go see her now!”

Dazai-san picked up her remaining paperwork and walked over to Kunikida-san’s desk.

“Here, Kunikida-kun,” she let go of the papers midair, scattering them all over Kunikida-san’s desk. “Oops?” A vein pulsed in Kunikida-san’s forehead. “Anyway, I made this for you. The only thing Kunikida-kun reminds me of is paperwork, so I used my very precious time to make you some ‘paper’ origami. Hope you like it!”

Dazai-san expertly dodged the fist heading towards her. “Later, Kunikida-kun~”

Kunikida-san’s ‘Come back here, you lazy beanpole!’ went ignored by everyone.

“And this is for you,” Dazai-san put down the raccoon she had made for Ranpo-san, continuing in a teasing voice. “A gift from your not-so-secret admirer~”

“And by that, you mean?” Ranpo-san raised his brows in question, tossing Dazai-san a chocolate from his stash. “I don’t like this. You can have it.”

Dazai-san caught the chocolate with her free hand, pocketing it, the other carefully handling the paper butterfly so as not to crease it. Dazai-san gave a mock two-finger salute, “Figure it out, I’m off to see Yosano-sensei.”

And Dazai-san left the office. Peace restored, Atsushi turned back to his work. He ignored Kunikida-san’s furious muttering and his frenzied scribbling in his notebook.

This was Atsushi’s new normal.

_______________

 “You look pale,” Yosano commented.

“So I’ve been told,” Dazai said as she plopped down in the seat opposite Yosano’s desk.

While the action might have looked normal to any other, but Yosano could tell there was something careful and uncomfortable in it.

“What do you want?” Yosano-sensei asked, scanning her potential patient for injuries.

“Can’t I just be visiting my favorite doctor?” Dazai had an expression of hurt painted on her face. Utterly fake it was. Yosano could tell, Dazai hadn’t put any effort into making it seem sincere.

Her expression changed to one of excitement. “I also brought you a gift!” she exclaimed, presenting the paper butterfly, “Tadaa!”

Yosano-sensei took it from her, smiling slightly, “Thank you.” Yosano-sensei placed it in the less cluttered section of the desk where her other personal items were.

Dazai felt happy at seeing her gift, plain as it was, be placed among Yosano-sensei’s other important items. Dazai internally groaned at Yosano-sensei’s serious expression.

Back to business it was, Dazai lamented. Yosano-sensei’s professionalism knew no bounds.

“As I was about to say, before I was pleasantly surprised,” she gave Dazai a pointed look, making her grin sheepishly. “I’d like to think I know you better than that,” Yosano-sensei commented drily. “So?”

“So?” Dazai repeated. She was visibly stalling.

Yosano knew Dazai didn’t like being seen as vulnerable. It must be something Dazai couldn’t deal with by herself. Yosano hoped it wasn’t serious. Futile as that hope might be.

Yosano waited. She’d learned this was the best she could do with Dazai. Since Dazai had come to her, it was just a matter of time she’d open up about what was bothering her.

Yosano could see no visible injuries, so that was a relief. With Dazai, injuries weren’t the only thing that were cause for concern.

“Something’s wrong with me and I don’t know what.”

Okay, what an ominous way to start. This definitely did not bode well. Yosano repressed a sigh.

“Elaborate.”

“Well, I’ve been feeling a little weird around here for a while know,” Dazai gestured at her abdominal area.

“Weird how?”

“Um, it’s kind of tender to the touch. Annoying when I move about.”

“Painful?”

Dazai remained silent as if debating whether to say the truth. Finally, she said, “A little.”

“Bruised?” Yosano had learned to ask short questions when it was Dazai. It made it easier for Dazai to answer honestly.

“Not really, just painful.”

“Is it constant or intermittent?” Yosano asked, looking through the bunch of loose sheets on her desk to find her notepad.

“Intermittent. Mostly. Don’t know why it’s happening though. The missions weren’t hard and I haven’t gotten injured at all the last few days.”

Yosano nodded to herself, “Take a seat on the examination table.”

Dazai made a face but complied with her request.

“When was the last time you and Nakahara did it?” Yosano-sensei asked, clicking on her pen, ready to take notes.

“How sneaky~ Fishing for details, Yosano-sensei?” Dazai smirked, making her roll her eyes.

“Trust me, that’s not how I’d fish for details. Besides, it’s not like you don’t brag enough about it.”

“I so do not!” Dazai said, offended.

“Whatever,” Yosano said, tapping again on her notepad. “It’s a standard question for whatever diagnosis I’m going to throw at you.”

“I have a feeling I know exactly what you’re going to throw at me,” Ignoring the ‘I wouldn’t be surprised’ muttered by Yosano-sensei, Dazai continued on. “Um, lemme think about it.”

Dazai mimicked a thinking pose.

Yosano raised a brow in question. “You need to think about it?”

“No, but I’ll pretend I need to so I don’t have to hear you say, ‘Oh, it was that memorable’,” she said the last part in a pitched way to imitate Yosano, which needless to say failed miserably.

Yosano failed to suppress her smile at that. “I know you can remember everything and anything from years past, but I’m still going to say it,” Yosano-sensei teased. “So, it was that memorable.”

Dazai groaned. “No. Two months.”

“What?”

“Two months ago was the most recent.”

“Oh, and here I thought you guys would be more into it, what with your PDA and relentless flirting in public.”

“That is not flirting!”

“Yep, just annoying him because you can’t live without his attention.”

“Chibi’s reactions are hilarious,” Dazai grumbled, but her pleased expression said otherwise.

“Mmhm.”

“And he looks good flustered,” Dazai said with a cheeky grin. Yosano rolled her eyes at that. True enough.

“Do you think you could be pregnant?” Yosano asked, moving to put on her gloves and set up whatever she thought was necessary.

“Highly doubt that. I’m still having those irregular mini periods.”

Yosano’s brows furrowed but she didn’t comment for a moment, thinking it over. Then,

“Any pain here?” she questioned, pressing gingerly at her abdomen.

“Nope.”

Yosano-sensei moved her hand to the left and pressed. The responding wince was answer enough. “Here?”

“Yeah, a bit. On the left, lower abdomen.”

“And by bit you mean?”

“The really bad cases of period cramps that I’ve only heard of and never had.”

“Oh.” Yosano mused. “Any other symptoms?”

“Does feeling nauseous and uncomfortable count.”

“It does.”

“And slightly dizzy too, sometimes though not very often.”

“Most of your symptoms match those of a pregnancy.”

“But-”

“But, yes, I was getting there. You’re having your periods too. Is it like your usual period?”

“If by usual you mean irregular, comes and goes, sometimes light, sometimes heavy, then yes, absolutely.”

This wasn’t really a surprise to Yosano. The moment Yosano had found out about Dazai’s time in the port mafia, plus her various other issues, she’d pretty much expected Dazai to have irregular periods. The combination of malnutrition and stress wasn’t exactly healthy lifestyle. Therefore, the body would compensate in the only ways it knows. In other words, by messing or suppressing the less essential functions like the reproductive cycle.

Yosano continued her questioning, “Any discomfort with urination or bowel movement?”

“I feel the need to pee frequently, which is annoying. Getting out of bed at night to pee is the worst.” Her expression said as much. “Can’t really handle pressure in my abdomen, dunno if it has anything to do with bowel movement.”

Yosano-sensei was noting down everything and, well, it didn’t really help narrow down to a single diagnosis. “I want you to take a pregnancy test. Just in case. And a UTI test too.”

“You think it could be an infection?”

“I can’t say for sure. The symptoms fit both conditions to some degree.”

“I can’t decide which is worse at this point,” Dazai joked, swinging her legs.

Yosano-sensei smiled. “Hopefully, whatever it is, we can deal with it.”

She put down her notepad, moving towards a machine tucked at the back of the infirmary.

“I’m just going to set up the ultrasound machine. While I do this, I need you take the pregnancy test. I’d also need a separate urine sample to check for UTIs.”

Dazai hummed getting off the examination table. A sharp stab of pain hitched her breath. She ignored it. Movement made the pain worse. Maybe she’d neglected to mention that. Well, no point doing so now. There were more important matters right now.

Like the fact that there was a chance she could be pregnant. She, Dazai Osamu, could be pregnant? Oh, sweet hell.

Although she might have looked unbothered on the outside, her mind was in conflict. While Chuuya and Dazai hadn’t talked about kids, Dazai wasn’t so oblivious to Chuuya’s wants as to think he wouldn’t want a child or that he’d not be excited about a possible pregnancy.

Her feelings on the other hand… She really wasn’t sure what she wanted. While she didn’t hate the idea of having a child, a mini human, a perfect combination of Dazai and Chuuya, she just wasn’t sure if she’d be suitable for this big a responsibility.

She could barely take care of herself on the best of days, to be responsible for a helpless little human entirely dependent on Dazai? (and Chuuya too, but the crisis right now was about her ability, or rather, her inability to take care of another human)

“Dazai?” Yosano snapped her fingers in front of Dazai.

Dazai’s attention snapped towards her, “Yes, Yosano-sensei?”

“Here,” Yosano-sensei put a boxed object in Dazai’s open palm.

Dazai looked at it, pregnancy test. A last ditch effort to stall. “Do I have to?”

“Yes,” Yosano-sensei said, exasperated but leaving no room for argument, “you have to.”

Dazai groaned. She was so not mentally prepared for this.

“Wish me luck, Yosano-sensei,” Dazai said, moving from her leaning position.

Yosano waved her away, “Yeah, whatever, don’t faint, be back soon.”

Dazai moved towards the infirmary door. Yosano turned away. That’s when it happened.

_______________

Atsushi watched Dazai-san leave the room in quiet confusion. This was strange. Dazai-san never went to the infirmary willingly. Usually, if she wanted to talk to Yosano-sensei about something, she’d seek her out while she was in the main office.

Something must be really wrong, Atsushi couldn’t help but worry.

Dazai-san had not been herself today. Atsushi could tell there was visible effort put into maintaining her cherry personality and her jokes weren’t as annoying.

It wasn’t that Dazai-san was deliberately trying to hide things, Atsushi had come to know that she simply didn’t do well with others worrying about it. She didn’t take well to quite a lot of kind gestures.

Somewhere deep in him, Atsushi could relate. With the Agency’s combined efforts, he had gotten better at accepting good things happening to him. But there were days, where Atsushi couldn’t help but think…

A nudge to his side and his thoughts slipped. It was Kyouka. Oh, and the Tanizaki siblings were back.

“Hey, Atsushi!” Tanizaki said with a smile, advancing towards Atsushi’s desk. Naomi trailing right behind. Well, behind was an understatement. Atsushi did not want to know just where those hands were going.

Atsushi smiled back, “Hey.” Whatever. No point delving into depressing thoughts. “How was school?”

“Same old, extremely boring. Any new cases at the Agency?” Tanizaki asked, waving a hand nonchalantly.

“Nope, it’s been a slow day so far. Just catching up on paperwork.”

Tanizaki groaned, “Paperwork’s boring.”

“Don’t let Kunikida-san hear you say that,” Atsushi grinned. Oh, how he hated paperwork. He wished he didn’t have to do it, but not everyone is Dazai-san who can get away with not doing their work.

Naomi chimed in then, “Kunikida-san is just way to strict about it. No wonder Dazai-san likes to annoy him so much.”

Atsushi couldn’t agree more. In the privacy of his mind, Atsushi could admit that Kunikida-san’s reactions were entertaining. Atsushi enjoyed watching this unique dynamic between Dazai-san and Kunikida-san.

Although, he always did get anxious about Dazai-san’s well-being when Kunikida-san was ready to throw hands at her.

A vibration caught his attention. From Dazai-san’s desk.

Atsushi leaned over to take a peek. It was a notification of a message from someone named ‘Slug’. Atsushi furrowed his brows in thought. The nickname sounded familiar but where had he heard that.

The message itself wasn’t displayed on the screen. Well, it wasn’t any of his business. Dazai-san would see it herself when she came back.

Atsushi turned his attention back to his report. Rather Dazai-san’s report that he was, as Dazai-san liked to say, generously entrusted with.

Barely a minute passed before the screen lit up again. Another message from the same ‘Slug’ on Dazai-san’s phone.

Atsushi deliberated whether he should take the phone to Dazai-san. Maybe it was someone important.

“Atsushi?” Atsushi snapped out of his thoughts at Kyouka’s call.

“Yes, Kyouka-chan?” Atsushi responded kindly, full attention now on Kyouka.

“I want to go get crepes.”

Was it that time already? Atsushi looked back at his computer screen. Ah, yes. It was Kyouka’s crepe time. They had somewhat of a routine by this point.

Every day, same time, they’d go get crepes. It had started with getting crepes after particularly successful missions, then to twice a week, and now finally to every weekday they spent in the office.

Atsushi never had the heart to say no to Kyouka.

“Let me just complete this report and we can go. Is that okay?” Atsushi asked.

Kyouka nodded.

Atsushi’s hearing picked up another vibration but he ignored it. Report first, then crepes. Goal set. Atsushi went back to work.

Half an hour passed in silence with minimal shuffling from the other occupants of the room. Atsushi stretched his arms, then his back.

God, he was stiff from sitting in the same chair all day.

He looked around, Kunikida-san was looking over some paperwork. Ranpo-san was asleep in his chair, hat tipped on his face, candy wrapper littered around him, on the desk and the floor. The Tanizaki siblings were at an appropriate distance, thank god for that, immersed in work.

“Ready, Kyouka-chan?” Atsushi asked, slipping his phone and wallet, poor soon-to-be-empty wallet, in his pockets.

Kyouka silently got off her seat, calmly setting down the organized pile of paperwork she had in her hands.

Just as they were ready to leave the office, the sound of vibration got his ears. And this time, it continued.

Atsushi picked the phone off the desk. It was an incoming call from ‘Slug’. Might as well pass the phone to Dazai-san as they go.

With that thought, he started towards the infirmary door in the corridor. Atsushi’s tiger hearing picked up sound before the others did. Atsushi stilled for a breath.

Everyone’s attention snapped towards where the sound came from.

A cry and something hitting the floor.

Atsushi recognized it. And Atsushi knew. And Atsushi ran.

It was Dazai-san’s voice.

_______________

Yosano turned around as she heard the cry, and sucked in a harsh breath at the sight.

Dazai. Crumpled on the floor. Curled into herself.

Yosano covered the short distance between her and Dazai in panicked strides. She quickly lowered herself, labored breaths met her ears.

Dazai had an arm braced against the floor, forehead resting on it, fighting to get her breathing under control. It took considerable effort. Her other arm was curled around her abdomen. She was trembling from head to toe.

She was conscious. Fortunately.

“Hey, hey, Dazai, can you hear me?” Yosano grasped onto her shoulders, wanting to turn her over, wanting to examine her. Wanting to comfort her. She ignored the fine tremors under her fingertips.

Dazai let out a muffled whimper, followed by a pained whisper, “Hurts.”

And lucid enough to respond. Good. Yosano could work with that.

“I know. I just need to turn you over so I can check what’s wrong. Can you help me with that?” The last part was merely to keep Dazai responding to her.

Dazai nodded. It hurt. God, it hurt so much worse. Put she pushed herself. Gathered the energy to help turn herself over.

“Good, that’s it,” Yosano gently laid her on her back. Her body was still tense, somewhat curled. Her hand on her abdomen had not left its position.

The door of the infirmary slammed open. Atsushi stood in the doorway.

“Dazai-san!” he cried. “What, what’s wrong? Is Dazai-san okay?”

Yosano just barely stopped herself from snapping at him. What kind of dumb question was that?!

“You, Atsushi!” Yosano said sharply, wanting to get his attention.

“Yosano-san, she-! Is Dazai-san-!” he was panicking, tripping over his words. Yosano did not have time for this.

“Pull yourself together, Atsushi! Call an ambulance, would you!” Yosano had a patient to take care of.

“Already on it,” came Kunikida’s voice.

Yosano was grateful for Kunikida’s quick work. He was worried but he didn’t lose his head in emergency situations like her junior colleagues often did.

First things first. Focus, Yosano said to herself.

“Need to check pulse,” Yosano muttered out loud the standard procedure. It was more to ground herself than anything else.

Yosano lightly grasped at Dazai’s wrist, two fingers at her pulse point. Rapid. Weak. Not good.

Dazai was taking rapid, short bursts of breath. Skin was clammy and cold. She looked much paler than before.

She was starting to look dazed.

There was a chance there was an internal bleeding. Which wasn’t good at all.

“Kunikida!” Yosano barked. “Get her off the cold floor! On the bed, here!”

Kunikida spared no time in doing so.

“And grab an AB type blood bag from the cold storage!” Yosano quickly moved, setting up an IV line for fluids.

Yosano and Kunikida moved rapidly, dodging each other. Atsushi was no longer standing in the doorway of the infirmary. Probably taken away by Ranpo or the President.

Yosano pulled a blanket off the nearby bed and carefully tucked it around Dazai, resting both her hands on the blanket as to not disturb the fluid and blood transfusions.

Dazai had slipped into unconsciousness. Sweat dotted her hairline. Yosano waited. There wasn’t anything more she could do right now but wait for the ambulance to get here.

“Yosano-sensei, what just happened?” Kunikida was the picture of confused concern. He didn’t know what was wrong, but the panic he’d seen in Yosano-sensei didn’t spell anything good.

“I don’t know, Kunikida. Right now, I don’t have a single idea what caused this,” Yosano rubbed her hands over her face.

Kunikida remained silent. No point questioning further.

“How long will the ambulance take?” Yosano asked. She didn’t know what was wrong but she wasn’t keen on risking Dazai’s life just because the ambulance was late.

“It might be here in-” Kunikida was cut off by the sound of sirens in the distance. Without waiting for Yosano’s order, Kunikida left to lead the medics.

“Oh, Dazai, what did you get yourself into know?” Yosano wished she could have eased Dazai’s pain before it had led to this.

The medics rushed in with a stretcher. Yosano got to work, quickly informing them of what she’d done and stating Dazai’s symptoms and condition.

The medics carefully transferred her to a stretcher. Another took hold of the IV lines. Quick and efficient. And they moved.

Yosano went with them. She was momentarily stopped by Atsushi.

“Yosano-san! How is-”

“Atsushi-kun,” Ranpo called out, gently tugging him away. “We’ll go with Kunikida-kun to the hospital. Yosano can’t wait. Dazai can’t.”

Yosano appreciated Ranpo’s intervention. For once, Ranpo wasn’t being his annoying smartass self. He was comforting Atsushi while also highlighting the severity of the situation.

They were running out of time.

Yosano left, not before firmly squeezing Atsushi’s hand in assurance.

_______________

Atsushi nibbled on his nails in anxiety. Atsushi had never felt this scared in his life. He’s seen his colleagues injured, sure, but this? This was different. This wasn’t an injury. This wasn’t a fight.

This was just… Dazai-san collapsing. Quiet, no enemy in sight. Why? Atsushi did not know. Atsushi could not wrestle something he did not know.

For the first time in a while, Atsushi felt powerless even with the tiger’s looming presence grounding him. Because,

Because this was Dazai. His mentor. His savior. And, Atsushi will only ever admit this under the threat of torture, his motherly figure.

Because no matter how many times Dazai-san labelled Kunikida-san as the mother hen of the Agency, no one could match Dazai-san’s careful fretting and gentle care, her quiet affection for the younger members of the Agency.

“Atsushi,” Kunikida-san called out and Atsushi was violently startled out of his thoughts. He knocked his knee into the dashboard with how it jerked out of its fidgeting.

“Yes?” he stuttered out. It wasn’t Kunikida-san who answered though.

“Stop thinking will you?” Ranpo-san said. He looked bored out of his mind.

But Atsushi thought he looked concerned in his own genius way. He wasn’t snacking on any sweets, for one. His trusty lollipop, which he always carried with him just in case he ran out of snacks, was being rolled in his fingers by its stick, still unwrapped.

“I can’t help but be worried,” Atsushi said, clenching his hand into a rigid fist to suppress the nerves.

“Stressing and overthinking is not going to help Dazai get better, you know.”

“I know, but-”

“Ah, ah! No buts! You don’t argue with the greatest detective in the world!” Ranpo-san exclaimed, pointing his wrapped lollipop at Atsushi with dramatic flair.

This brought a small smile on Atsushi’s face.

“Besides, we don’t want you collapsing on us too,” Kunikida-san said seriously, as if that were a genuine concern of his.

Ranpo-san rolled his eyes, “Way to ruin the moment Kunikida.”

Atsushi chuckled at that. Ranpo-san sometimes reminded Atsushi of how Dazai-san acted on the usual. Of course, that was only when Ranpo-san wasn’t being eccentric.

Dazai-san

Atsushi’s mood dipped again. Only mildly less anxious than before.

The rest of the way to the hospital was enveloped in silence.

“Yosano-san!” Atsushi shouted, sprinting towards the purple-haired woman sitting on one of the waiting room chairs.

Yosano looked up. Without stopping to catch his breath, Atsushi continued, “How is Dazai-san?!”

“I don’t know, Atsushi. She’s currently in surgery,” Yosano looked wearily at the doors leading to the OR.

Atsushi’s eyes widened. He slumped into the chair next to Yosano. Kunikida and Ranpo remained silent.

“Just what-” Atsushi was cut off as a phone vibrated in his pocket. He fished it out. It was Dazai-san’s phone. Ah, yes, he had been taking it to Dazai-san.

“Who is it?” Ranpo-san asked, shuffling over to sit beside Atsushi.

“Someone named ‘Slug’,” Atsushi replied.

“Oh, it’s Mister Fancy Hat. Gimme it,” as he said that, Ranpo snatched the phone from Atsushi’s lax grip, picking the call in the same motion.

“Mister Fancy Hat?” Atsushi murmured, confused. “Chuuya-san?”

Before Ranpo could greet the caller, he was met with, “What the hell Dazai?! I’ve called you so many times and now you pick up!”

Though he sounded angry, Ranpo could sense the undertone of worry in his voice. Ranpo almost felt bad about the kind of news he’d be giving him. He needed to calm him down first. Calm enough to actually listen to what Ranpo had to say.

“Did you even see my messages? The least you could do is reply! Do you know how worried I was?!”

Ranpo should calm him down. If only he’d give him the opening to do so.

“I’m heading to the Agency right now,” he paused to take a breath, and Ranpo took the opportunity to finally say something.

“Hey, Mister Fancy Hat,” Ranpo said. He tried to sound smug but fell mighty short of it.

“Who the hell are you? And where’s Dazai?” Chuuya sounded confused for a moment there.

Ranpo brow quirked. Did Chuuya seriously not recognize his voice?

Ranpo clicked his tongue, “That’s no way to speak to the world’s greatest detective!”

“Oh, you’re that annoying brat of a detective.”

Ranpo’s offended face would have been comical in any other situation. In any other situation, he would have been genuinely offended. Now was not the time for it, however.

“Where’s the shitty Mackerel? She’s hasn’t responded to any of my texts. Nor returned my calls.”

“Ah, about that,” Ranpo hesitated. For the first time Ranpo felt that just hitting someone head on with the reality wouldn’t go over well. Improvise, then. Don’t lie but don’t give the whole truth. “Hospital. We’re at the hospital.”

There was a beat of silence on the other side. Finally, he said, “Hospital? Why?”

Before Ranpo could reply, Chuuya shot another question at him, “Is Osamu okay?” Dazai’s given name slipped in unconsciously due to his worry.

“She’s fine,” Ranpo hoped that wasn’t a lie. He didn’t want to lie to Chuuya, after all. “Just come to Yokohama Central Hospital.”

“Okay, I’ll be there in five,” the call ended without another word.

_______________

Chuuya made his way to the reception area. He had made it to the hospital in record time. Needless to say, Chuuya had used his ability to get there as fast. Because, even though the Agency’s bratty detective had said that Dazai was fine, Chuuya wasn’t stupid. He knew better.

There was no reason for the agency members to be at the hospital. They had their own doctor, scarily efficient one at that. She could fix whatever injuries they had, big or small, no exception. It was true for everyone. Except Dazai, that is.

Dazai’s nullification ability made it so that the doctor’s ability couldn’t work on her. Among all the agency members, Dazai was the only one truly vulnerable.

And just like in the Port Mafia, Dazai still had this scary ability of getting herself injured, intentional or not. Though Chuuya could admit it was better in the Agency than how it had been in the Port Mafia, Dazai got injured way too often for his liking.

Chuuya would not delude himself into thinking that wasn’t the case now too. Dazai was hurt. Bad enough that she had to be brought to the hospital. Now he just had to find out how bad it truly was.

Chuuya was used to this. It wasn’t surprising for Dazai to come home to him hurt in some way. That did not mean he did not worry.

Oh, and worry he did. The relentless churning of his stomach was a testament to that fact. He made his way to the reception.

“Hello, Sir. How may I help you?” the nurse at the reception asked.

“I’m here for Dazai Osamu,” Chuuya replied, clenching hard at the counter edge in his impatience.

“Ah, let me check,” A few click clacks later. “May I know your name and relation to the patient?”

“Chuuya Nakahara, and I’m her boyfriend,” he suppressed the bubble of momentary joy the claim sparked in him. Now was not the time for his preening.

“Sir, you can head to the waiting room down that way,” the nurse replied, looking apologetic. Chuuya did not like that look at all. Just tell him what the hell was wrong with his partner!

He didn’t lash out however, restraining himself with great effort. Not the nurse’s fault, he thought. With forced politeness he inquired, “Is she okay? What is she in for?”

“The patient’s currently undergoing emergency surgery,” and Chuuya’s world halted, the background noise of the reception area fading into static.

“Sir? Are you okay, sir?” he heard a tapping on the counter, probably to get his attention.

He took a deep breath and forced himself into attention. The nurse continued once she was sure she had his attention. “Her doctor will be with you as soon as he can. You can head to the waiting room.”

Chuuya could imagine the nurse didn’t want to deal with him any longer, what with him zoning out on her. Also, Chuuya didn’t think she’d have any more information to give him.

“Thanks,” Chuuya murmured and moved to where the waiting room was. He spotted the agency members as soon as he got there. He could feel the tension around them.

The weretiger would wear the polish off the tile with how he was pacing, mused Chuuya absently.

He stalked towards them, anger and concern simmering under his careful control. “What the hell happened to Dazai?”

Their attention snapped to him simultaneously, along with a couple other strangers in the waiting room. The doctor, Yosano, opened her mouth to respond, but was cut off by the annoying detective. “We don’t know,” he shrugged, hesitant.

Chuuya scoffed, “What do you mean you don’t know?”

“It means it wasn’t due to a mission. She just collapsed. And we’re waiting for the doctor to tell us what’s wrong,” Ranpo sighed and looked away feeling guilty.

“And she’s in emergency surgery,” Yosano added. She looked tired too, as if the wait was physically wearing her down.

“Yeah, already got the memo for that,” Chuuya muttered under his breath.

And so they waited.

“Patient Dazai Osamu,” a man in a white coat called out.

Atsushi stopped in his pacing, Kunikida snapped to attention, Ranpo opened his eyes from where he was feigning sleep, Yosano straightened, stepping forward. And Chuuya…

Chuuya was in the doctor’s space the moment those words left his mouth, “How is she?”

“She’s stable now. The surgery was successful. No complications. She’ll be moved to a room soon.”

A collective sigh of relief.

“What was wrong with Dazai? I know she had possible internal bleeding, but not the cause of it,” Yosano inquired.

Chuuya whipped his head towards her. She had neglected to mention that particular detail. Yosano winced slightly, sensing Chuuya’s gaze on her.

“You must be the doctor who gave her emergency treatment. Good job on that. This possibly saved her life. Any delay in initial treatment could have been fatal in her condition,” the doctor paused, letting the severity of it sink in.

“What the patient had is called an ectopic pregnancy,” Yosano sucked in a sharp breath.

“What?” Chuuya blurted in shock, “She was pregnant.”

“Yes, but it wasn’t a normal pregnancy,” the doctor said patiently, understanding of their confusion.

“It’s a condition where the pregnancy starts in the wrong place,” Yosano explained as the doctor nodded.

“That’s right. It means instead of the fertilized egg planting itself in the uterus, its correct place, it remained in the fallopian tube after fertilization, where it began to grow.”

“Okay? And?” Chuuya was this close to losing his shit. Could they not say it in one breath?!

“The problem is that the fallopian tube isn’t designed to hold a pregnancy, unlike the uterus which can accommodate the growing mass of cells,” Yosano informed.

“Which caused the tube to tear open, which we call a rupture,” continued the doctor. “The rupture led to internal bleeding, which could prove life-threatening. Fortunately, and thanks to your doctor friend, the timely treatment saved her life.”

Chuuya was acutely aware of the shaking of his hands, he clenched them tight. The realization dawned on him, he was so very close to losing his partner, his girlfriend, his Osamu.

“Unfortunately,” the doctor started and the words filled Chuuya with dread. “while the surgery was successful, we were unable to repair the tube due to extensive damage and bleeding. We had to make the difficult decision of removing it.”

Yosano took in a shaky breath. Chuuya was in a similar state.

“Oh,” was all Chuuya could say. How was he supposed to tell all this to Osamu when she woke up? How would she react?

“I think you’d like to know, the removal of one tube does not significantly impact fertility. According to medical statistics, around 85% of women can still have healthy pregnancies.”

Okay, that was a relief. Should have started with that, Chuuya thought to himself.

“Any other questions you’d like to ask?” the doctor inquired.

“Will she be okay?” Chuuya asked, with a hint of desperation.

“With enough rest and care, she will recover just fine. We generally like to keep the patient for a few days after surgery, but since you have a certified medical professional to take care of her, you can take her home after an overnight stay for monitoring. As long as the patient is comfortable and cared for.”

Home it was then. Chuuya knew Osamu hated hospitals in general. She wouldn’t agree to staying in the hospital when she had the option of going home to her safe haven.

Plus, Osamu would be more comfortable there.

“Full recovery takes anywhere from 4 to 6 weeks. Total bed rest advised.”

Well, that was going to be one hell of a challenge. Didn’t mean Chuuya was going to back down now. He always liked a good challenge anyway.

Chuuya’s attention was taken by the sound of wheels rolling. And he saw the face he’d been dying to see the whole day.

Dazai looked pale, too pale in fact. She was dressed in a hospital gown, white sheet tucked around her. Still hooked to a blood bag. She looked so fragile.

Chuuya’s heart clenched painfully at the sight.

“You can visit her now,” the doctor said, realizing the attention was no longer on him. “If you have any more questions, you can ask me later. I’ll check up on her again in a while.”

And he left nodding to them in goodbye. Silence ensued again. There was palpable sense of relief around the group. Though none of them liked what had happened, they were just relieved Dazai was okay.

“Are, aren’t you going to visit Dazai-san, Chuuya-san?” Atsushi fidgeted. He looked ready to bolt to Dazai’s room but restrained himself in respect for Chuuya.

After all, Chuuya was Dazai’s boyfriend. He had the most right out of all of them to visit Dazai first and foremost.

“No, you guys go ahead,” Chuuya said, stepping back to lean against the wall of the waiting room. Ranpo stared at him. Chuuya avoided his eyes.

“That wouldn’t be approp-” Kunikida started, always a stickler for rules and ethics.

Ranpo, on the other hand, understood exactly what Chuuya meant with this gesture.

“Oh, shut up, Kunikida, let’s go,” and he pulled Atsushi along with him. Yosano and Kunikida looked at him, seeking his affirmation despite him already agreeing to it.

He nodded again nonetheless. They followed after Ranpo and Atsushi.

It’s not that Chuuya didn’t want to visit Dazai. He wanted to see her, make sure for himself that she was okay. That she was breathing. That he hadn’t lost his partner again, this time to something irreversible. But…

But he also needed to gather his thoughts. He needed to suck in much needed air, fill his lungs with relief, overwhelming relief.

He needed to repeat to himself, once, twice, four times that Dazai was okay. She was fine, reachable. A few steps and he could have her in his arms. And never let go again.

Chuuya wanted to stay by her side until she woke up, until she got better. Until he didn’t feel like he was going to lose Osamu the moment she left his sight.

That was the only reason he let the agency idiots go first. Once he was by Dazai’s side, he wasn’t going to leave, and he’d be damned if he let anyone interrupt his moment with her, the long long moment he absolutely needed to feel better. To feel grounded.

Also, because he just knew that those idiots weren’t going to sit still on their asses if they didn’t see for themselves that Dazai was fine. They cared about the idiot.

So he let them go first. But they better make it quick.

_______________

The agency members had already left by the time Chuuya stepped into Dazai’s hospital room. The steady beeping of the heart monitor was the only sound in the room.

For a long moment, Chuuya stood frozen, leaning his weight against the door to steady himself. His eyes never leaving Dazai’s motionless but breathing form.

Chuuya stepped forward. Someone had conveniently placed a stool by Dazai’s bed. He ignored it.

His eyes scanned over Dazai’s form, taking in her serene expression and slightly improved complexion. Her hands and arms had IV lines attached to them. He ran his fingers over her arms, the tips barely grazing the skin, careful to avoid the IV sites.

Chuuya leaned over, pressing his lips to her forehead. He didn’t pull back right away, took a moment to feel the warmth meeting his lips. The skin wasn’t cold. His eyes grew warm.

He pulled back. Carefully, Chuuya dragged the stool closer to the bed and sat on it. His hand instinctually found Dazai’s, grasping it firmly in his. The other, his right hand moved towards her face.

Gently, he tucked away her bangs. He let his hand rest on her forehead, thumb stroking back and forth, smoothed out the slight furrow between her brows.

Hours passed, he didn’t move, didn’t let go. His back ached with how he was leaned over, but he didn’t straighten up. Tugging up their intertwined hands, Chuuya rested his forehead on them and let the tears flow, silent and hidden away from the world.

One, two, five. And stop. A slight twitch of her hand in his.

Hazy, soft brown eyes met his.

“Chuuya,” Dazai’s voice came out a dry, cracked whisper. Her lips tilted into a half-smile, “You cryin’?”

A wet chuckle left his throat. Chuuya hastily wiped at his eyes. “Idiot,” the word fond and exasperated in equal measures. “I’m not crying.”

Dazai chuckled, “Liar.”

A comfortable silence surrounded them. Chuuya’s hand didn’t leave Dazai’s.

“What happened?” Dazai asked after a while, trying to push her herself up.

Chuuya quickly acted, stopping her movement, “Hey, hey, Osamu, baby, lay back down. Don’t strain yourself.”

Dazai eyebrows raised in surprise, “You’re being awfully sweet right now, Chuuya. What happened?”

It wasn’t like Chuuya didn’t often call her sweet nicknames in the privacy of their home. Chuuya being this affectionate in public was rare. Granted they didn’t exactly have company right now, they were alone and in a private room… hospital room?

“Do you,” Chuuya hesitated. “What do you remember?”

Dazai tried to recall what had happened.

“I-” Dazai started. “I was in the Agency. I wasn’t feeling very well. So I went to Yosano-sensei. We were in the infirmary. We were talking. Yosano-sensei was asking me some questions. Then she asked me to do… something?”

“Ok. That’s good,” Chuuya encouraged. “Do you remember what happened after that? How you got here?”

Dazai tried jogging her memory again. She couldn’t remember what happened after. Everything after was too blurred to make out. Then pure, dark blankness.

“I don’t remember. It’s all a blur,” Dazai was kind of panicking now. Not remembering never meant anything good. She’d learned that early on.

Chuuya must have sensed her panic. His hands met her cheeks, gently caressing. “Hey, sweetheart, it’s okay. Relax. Everything’s fine.”

Dazai stared into Chuuya’s loving, comforting gaze, her chest filling with adoration for him. She said as much. “Chuuya,” he hummed in response. “I love you.”

Chuuya startled, halting his gentle caresses. His first thought was to ask, ‘Are you high?’ which generally wasn’t considered a good response. He decided to go with the second thought.

“Shut up, Mackerel,” then pecked her lips, in apology and affection, making her giggle softly. “I love you too, Osamu.”

The momentary peace was broken by Chuuya, “Now lay back down idiot.”

Dazai rolled her eyes, “And here I thought we were having a moment.” She didn’t protest the gentle press of his hands on her shoulder, urging her to lay down. She was tired anyway.

“Water?” Dazai only just realized but she was very thirsty. No wonder talking hurt her throat.

“I’ll get it,” Chuuya quickly poured a glass of water from the water jug placed on the side table. “Here.”

Dazai clutched at the glass, her grip weak. Chuuya hadn’t let go, bringing the glass closer to her lips. She met Chuuya’s eyes over the rim, conveying a silent ‘thank you’, receiving a similar ‘no problem’ in return.

“God, that felt refreshing,” Dazai muttered. “Never knew water tasted that good.”

Chuuya laughed at that, returning the glass to its place.

“C’mon, rest now,” Chuuya sat back in the stool. “Once you’re fully rested, I’ll tell you what happened.”

Even though Dazai wanted to know right now, she was too tired to argue with Chuuya. She’d fall asleep halfway through the explanation anyway. “Okay.”

Chuuya’s hand returned to her hair, running his fingers through the soft waves. Dazai further relaxed under his touch. She turned to face him, reaching out.

“Need something?” Chuuya questioned, hand pausing in its movement. Dazai’s fingers seized the long length of Chuuya’s hair, tugging on it.

“Hey!” Chuuya screeched, pulling back. “Hands off!”

Dazai pouted at him, face all scrunched up.

“You look ugly,” Chuuya held his ground. Then, more to convince himself than her, “It’s not working.”  

Dazai widened her eyes. Now, she looked like a black cat with guileless eyes. An annoyingly adorable black cat. Chuuya’s resolve crumbled.

“Ok, fine, whatever,” Chuuya grumbled, moving closer within Dazai’s ‘attack’ range.

Dazai grinned, smug and delighted.

Dazai twisted her fingers back into his hair, playing with the ends, much gentler than before. Chuuya continued running his fingers through her hair.

Chuuya faded into his thoughts. How was Chuuya supposed to break the news to Dazai?

True that Chuuya could just let the doctor explain the situation to Dazai. Chuuya didn’t want that though. For two very important reasons.

First, Dazai wasn’t very comfortable around doctors in general. Although Dazai often did an excellent job of hiding her discomfort, Chuuya knows her a little too well. So, Chuuya didn’t want to put her through that if he could help it.

And the second reason being Dazai’s reaction. Chuuya didn’t know how Dazai would react to the news. Dazai tended to suppress her more genuine emotions in front of other people.

With Chuuya being the one to break the news, he hoped Dazai would feel comfortable enough to express her feelings upfront, whatever those feelings may be. Dazai was already unpredictable when it came to feelings. No need to make it harder for her by introducing yet another variable.

Dazai’s hand in his hair gradually slowed as she got sleepier, eyes blinking up at Chuuya blearily. Chuuya gently caught her hand as it slumped, laying it beside her and pulling up the blanket.

Telling Dazai what happened was a problem for future Chuuya. Right now, he needed to get some shut eye. Not sleep, Chuuya would never be able to sleep peacefully in a hospital, especially when Dazai was vulnerable.

_______________

The doctor had come in once during the night to check up on Dazai. Her vitals are strong and recovery will proceed without a problem, is what the doctor had said to Chuuya. A nurse had then come to administer some pain meds on the doctor’s orders.

Other than that, the night was fairly uneventful. Dazai remained asleep throughout the night.

Chuuya had only just come out from the adjoining bathroom after freshening up for the day when he found Dazai awake and tense. At the sound of the door opening, Dazai’s attention snapped to Chuuya.

“Chuuya,” she called out, but didn’t continue on. Chuuya understood, however. Dazai was relieved. Due to the meds, she’d probably woken up a little disoriented, not remembering how or why she was here. Seeing Chuuya there must have calmed her.

“Hey, sleeping beauty,” Chuuya booped her nose in greeting, making her scrunch her nose. “Finally awake?” 

“No,” Dazai whined petulantly. “Sleeping beauty can’t wake up without a true love’s kiss.”

Chuuya laughed, kissing her forehead. “Awake now?”

“Hmm,” Dazai made a thinking pose, then said, “I’m not sure Chuuya truly loves me, cause I’m still dreaming.”

“And what makes you think that?” Chuuya played along, knowing Dazai wasn’t really serious. They both knew better than to question their love for each other.

“Slug’s looking too pretty,” Chuuya let out a startled laugh. “So, I must be dreaming.”

“Do you often see me in your dreams then?” Chuuya teased.

“No,” Dazai denied, “Only when Slug’s being particularly annoying, like right now. Also, Chuuya just agreed he’s a slug.”

Chuuya rolled his eyes at that. “Whatever, Mackerel.” Chuuya sat on the edge of the bed. “How are you feeling?”

“Like I got hit by a truck,” Dazai paused, taking in Chuuya’s minute frown, “is what I’d like to say. Unfortunately,” Dazai sighed dramatically. “I feel fine.”

“Be serious for once, Mackerel,” Chuuya scolded lightly.

“Fine, fine, how boring,” Dazai pouted. Her expression smoothed. “Now tell me what happened. You promised.”

Chuuya took a minute to himself to gather his thoughts, and arrange his words. How do you make something like this sound less shattering than it is?

Dazai remained quiet, letting Chuuya gather his thoughts. She took a moment to prepare herself too. It really couldn’t be anything good, if Chuuya was that worried about it.

Chuuya decided to say it for what it was. Plain and simple, no hesitation. Chuuya had gotten the time to make peace with it, no matter how little it was. Now, he had to be confident and ready to support Dazai.

Thus began Chuuya’s explanation.

“I see,” Dazai said, her expression blank. She didn’t say anything else for a solid few moments. Then, “Should I be feeling sad?”

And Chuuya’s heart hurt, not due to the question itself, but the tone it was spoken in. Dazai sounded confused and too emotional to not be feeling anything. She didn’t seem to understand what she was feeling.

Chuuya wished he had the answer to that. But there really wasn’t one correct answer. More importantly, however…

“Are you feeling sad?” Chuuya asked in return. Chuuya wasn’t one to tell others what they should or should not be feeling. Least of all to Dazai.  

“Maybe. I don’t know,” Dazai shrugged slightly. Chuuya changed his approach.

“What do you think you should feel sad about?” Chuuya asked.

“I-” Dazai hesitated. “We could have had a child.”

“We still can, you know, just not right now.”

Dazai swallowed tightly, choking on guilt and something suspiciously akin to regret. “If my body wasn’t so broken-”

Chuuya cut in swiftly and firmly, “Your body isn’t broken, Osamu.”

“Isn’t it? You and I both know this,” she gestured at her body. “isn’t normal, Chuuya.”

“You aren’t to be blamed for this, Osamu,” Chuuya comforted.

“Who else then? I’ve never taken care of my body. All those sui-” Dazai stopped, changing her words. “With everything I’ve put it through, it’s a miracle it’s working at all.”

“You were in a terrible situation then. You are so much better now,” Chuuya held up a hand to silence whatever Dazai was about to say. “Every day, you do your best to take care of yourself and those around you, sweetheart.”

“It’s still the consequences of my past actions that cost us our potential child, Chuuya!” Dazai didn’t yell, but it was a near thing with how emotional she sounded.

“You’re not the only one who has ever gone through this, Osamu,” Chuuya felt cruel saying it. Nevertheless, it was a fact. Chuuya took a hold of her hand, lightly squeezing it. “Sometimes, things just happen and no one can be blamed for them.”

Dazai wasn’t crying, but that didn’t stop her eyes from becoming misty. She looked away from Chuuya. “Why?” her voice came out rough from holding back emotions.

“Just because.” What else could Chuuya answer to that? “And besides, there are many women who have normal pregnancies and still miscarry. Do you think they should be blamed for it?”

She stared down at her hands, fingers twisting the blanket timidly between them, “No.” 

“Exactly. You don’t.” Chuuya carefully extricated her fingers from the blanket and ran his thumb over the delicate knuckles. “Then why do you think you should blame yourself for this?” 

Dazai didn’t reply to that, her other hand clenching onto the hospital gown over her abdomen.

“Your case was different, Osamu. You have to understand that. No matter what you, or anyone else tried to do, nothing could have made it last. And I’m not just saying that to comfort you.”

Chuuya then added. “You can ask the doctor yourself, if you don’t believe me.” 

Dazai believed Chuuya obviously. She knew it wasn’t biologically possible for anyone to carry a pregnancy like that to full term.

“It’s unfortunate no one could have changed the outcome. But more than that, I’m just relieved.”

Dazai looked at him at that, confused. “Why would you be relieved?”

“Don’t get me wrong, I would’ve loved to have a ‘potential child’ but,” Chuuya cupped her face in his hands, and enunciated the next words, “but, I would never want a child at your cost, Osamu.”

Dazai blinked back her tears, trying to look anywhere but at Chuuya. She didn’t think she could handle such a genuine declaration. Chuuya didn’t let her turn away though.

“You are the most important person in my life. You are the one I love more than anyone, now or ever. And I don’t think I can handle losing you.”

That was enough to let Dazai’s tears flow. Chuuya gently thumbed them away, bringing Dazai close and tucking her under his chin.

“You can’t imagine how scared I was when I found out you were in the hospital, and taken for an emergency surgery. I don’t want a child if there’s a chance I could lose you. You are more than enough for me, Osamu. Never, ever doubt that.”

They remained in the position for a while. Never leaving each other’s space, comfortable in their bubble. They both needed the comfort. Thankfully, they weren’t interrupted.  

“I’m sorry,” Dazai mumbled. Chuuya stroked her head, kissed it, and asked, “For what?”

“I don’t know. I just feel like I should say that,” Dazai’s voice was wobbly, and sounded a little hoarse from crying.

“Well, I think you have no need to say it, so don’t. You have absolutely nothing to apologize for. Understand?”

There was no reply. Chuuya pulled back, making Dazai clutch at him and whine. Chuuya took her chin in his hand, tilting it to look into her beautiful eyes, swollen and red as they were from crying.

“Understand, baby?” Chuuya pressed.

“Mhm!” Dazai hummed, and nodded, smiling slightly. Before Chuuya could move, Dazai quickly leaned in and kissed him. And before Chuuya could overcome his shock, she pulled back.

Dazai looked into Chuuya’s eyes, and said with all seriousness. “I don’t want to lose Chuuya, too. I don’t think I can live anymore if I don’t get to wake up and stare into Chuuya’s blue eyes and make fun of the rat’s nest that Chuuya calls hair.”   

Chuuya flicked her forehead in retaliation, “What a baby.” But couldn’t stop his obvious adoration for her.

Chuuya got off the bed. “I’ll get you a wet towel to clean up.”

“Okay.” Dazai leaned back on the pillows, she was starting to feel a little pain as the meds wore off. Nothing she couldn’t handle.

Chuuya was back with a folded face towel, slightly wet. He carefully wiped her face clean of the tear marks and cleaned the crust from her eyes. He plucked a tissue from the side table.

“Blow your nose,” Chuuya demanded, holding the tissue near her nose expectantly.

“What am I, a child?” Dazai grumbled but complied, blowing her nose noisily.

“Yuck!” Chuuya’s face screwed in disgust.

Before Chuuya could move to throw it away, Dazai quickly stole the soiled tissue and tossed it at Chuuya’s face, simply sticking out her tongue at Chuuya’s indignant ‘Hey!’.

When Chuuya was done sulking, he poured Dazai a glass of water. He needed her to stay hydrated. Recovery demands good food and staying hydrated. Speaking of food, Chuuya asked, “What do you want to eat?”

“Don’t know. Anything with crab works,” Dazai shrugged. She wasn’t too keen on eating right now, but she didn’t want to worry Chuuya.

“Unfortunately for you, I don’t think the hospital’s cafeteria will have any crab dish,” Chuuya could get something from outside but, “and I don’t want to leave you alone for long.”

Without missing a beat, Dazai said, “Order in, then.”

Chuuya grumbled under his breath. Dazai didn’t bother paying attention to what he said, she knew he’d do as she asked anyway. She didn’t want Chuuya to leave her alone for any length of time either, so it was a win-win really.

“The food will take about 20 minutes,” Chuuya announced.

Silence followed. “You know all things considered, you took it really well.”

“Really, Chuuya, you’re gonna make me cry,” Dazai commented drily.

Chuuya chuckled. “No, seriously. I was so worried about how to break the news to you, I almost considered searching it up on the internet.”

Dazai stared at him in disbelief, “Tell me you did not.”

Uh-oh “I didn’t,” Chuuya denied swiftly.

“Gosh, Chuuya, that is so stupid!” Dazai laughed delighted.

“I said, I almost considered it, annoying Mackerel!” Chuuya shouted in embarrassment.

“Oh, I’m pretty sure you did. This is the kind of thing I can definitely imagine you doing,” Dazai lightly pressed on her abdomen as she laughed so the stitches didn’t pull. “I’m losing it just imagining you doing it!”

“Shut up!” 

“Can’t!”

“Idiot,” Chuuya grumbled. He really hadn’t. Because why would anyone search ‘How to break the news of an ectopic pregnancy to your girlfriend who landed herself in the OR due to a rupture and got her tube removed’ on the internet? So yeah, obviously Chuuya had not done that.

He had.

_______________

“Chuuya, no more! I can’t fit anymore!” Dazai screamed, one hand clapped over her mouth, the other waving in the air recklessly. All this to keep a slug away.

“Osamu, you need to eat to recover,” Chuuya tried to talk over Dazai’s ‘Na na na, can’t hear you’, “or you’re not getting out of the hospital anytime soon.”

“Dream on, Slug, the hospital can’t keep me here without my consent anyways,” Dazai had a hand pressed to Chuuya’s chest to keep him at a safe distance.

“Fine, I’ll let you off for now,” Chuuya sighed, backing away.

“You mean, your short arms couldn’t reach my mouth so you had to give in,” Dazai taunted, smirking slyly.

“You-!”

“Now, now, don’t you go throwing a temper tantrum in a hospital room Chuuya, they’ll kick you out!”

“They wouldn’t dar-” Chuuya was cut off by the disapproving glare sent by a nurse through the open door.

Dazai seemed to have caught the exchange too, looking at Chuuya smugly, “You were saying?”

“Wait till we get home,” Chuuya muttered angrily.

Dazai let out a dramatic gasp, clutching at her chest, “Are you threatening little old me, Chuu?”

“Hell, yeah, I am!”

“Chuuya, you’ve just been demoted on my list of potential boyfriends,” Dazai declared, unusually serious.

“I am your boyfriend, idiot Mackerel. And the only one, for that matter. Plus, that doesn’t even make sense. You are as single as they come.”

“Didn’t Chuuya just say he was my boyfriend?”   

“I was talking about the hypothetical, the ‘if I wasn’t your boyfriend’ scenario.”

“So, Chuuya does not want to be my boyfriend?”

“I did not say that!” Chuuya yelled, running a hand through his hair.

“You both sound lively today,” piped in a third voice, before Dazai could reply.

Both looked towards the voice. The Agency’s doctor along with the weretiger stood there. Both looking happy, if their smiles were anything to go by.

“Yosano-sensei! Atsushi-kun!” Dazai shouted, waving her hands enthusiastically in greeting. “Save me from the unwelcome company of this Chibi brute!”

Chuuya glared at Dazai, then greeted them too, less enthusiastic. 

“Hello, Dazai-san,” Atsushi greeted back, flitting nervously to her side. “How are you?”

“Just as charming and lovely, and ready to annoy Kunikida-kun any minute,” Dazai grinned, up to no good already.

“Ah, I’m glad,” Atsushi muttered. Dazai just ruffled his hair.

Yosano was talking on the side with Chuuya. Dazai couldn’t hear what they were saying, but she had a good idea about the topic of their conversation.

“Yosano-sensei,” Dazai whined. “That’s not fair. Are you trying to steal my boyfriend while I’m down?” 

Dazai was joking of course. Yosano knew that too, so she played along, “Not a terrible idea, at all. Ginger head here does look good standing next to me, no?”

“Too good, in fact,” Dazai agreed. “And it’s all because the ‘ginger head’ is standing next to a diva like you, Yosano-sensei.”

Yosano laughed at that. 

“No offence, Yosano-sensei, but I must say. The Slug might be a little too slimy for your taste,” Dazai commented seriously. Then added, “Emphasis on the little part.”

And as expected, Chuuya’s temper exploded, “I’m not little, you bandaged mummy!”

“Now, that’s enough,” Yosano-sensei placated, trying to put out the fire she’d helped create. Atsushi chuckled nervously on the side, still not used to Chuuya’s explosive nature.

“I just talked to you doctor,” Yosano stated. “How are you feeling?”

“Absolutely ready to slay my new look!” she chirped, gesturing at her outfit, “Oh, and to head home, preferably.”

Chuuya pinched his nose, letting out a frustrated sigh. 

“That’s guaranteed to be a success,” Yosano dragged her eyes over her body, appraising, and nodded to herself. “Seriously, you look way too good in everything. I’ve never seen someone pull off wearing bandages as sexily as you do. But here you are, looking effortlessly gorgeous every freaking day!”

“You flatter me, Yosano-sensei!” Dazai preened, suddenly acting bashful.

Disbelief was clear on all the occupants faces except Dazai. Yosano genuinely couldn’t understand how Dazai pulled off that look. She really could be a model.

Atsushi couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Was this a fever dream? No way were they having this conversation in a hospital of all places!

Chuuya couldn’t believe what he was hearing, because, “Did you just call my girlfriend sexy?!”

“Are you concerned about the ‘sexy’ part or the ‘my girlfriend’ part?” Yosano teased, sending Dazai into a fit of giggles.

“Both!”   

“I see,” Yosano said thoughtfully, a twinkle in her eyes. “Did I forget to mention I’m a lesbian?”

Chuuya looked at her like she grew a second head.

“And that Dazai just happens to be my one and only very gorgeous female colleague?”

Chuuya did not like where his thoughts were going. Yosano smiled knowingly and continued doing what she did best; breed chaos. “Who I’m very much attracted to?”

Dazai wheezed, unable to breathe through her laughing fit.

“Oh, and Dazai has regular checkups with me. Imagine how I feel at that moment. Just me and Dazai. Alone. In a closed room. Total bliss. Right, Osamu~”

Dazai was breathless from laughing, “Yes, absolutely!” Dazai sucked in a breath, trying to stop her laughing fit. “Enough, enough, Chuuya’s gonna combust any moment now, and, God, all this laughing is kind of starting to hurt now.”

A pained expression crossed her face, which was quickly suppressed. The laughing fit had pulled on her stitches, not to the point of tearing thankfully.

Both Chuuya and Yosano were at her side in a moment.

“Sorry,” Yosano-sensei muttered, looking about ready to pull up Dazai’s gown to check on the stitches, only stopped by the fact that they weren’t alone. Atsushi was still in the room, a worried expression crossing his face.

“It’s fine,” Dazai waved away the apology. “So, am I allowed to go home, now?” 

“First, how do you feel, and this time a serious answer, please,” Yosano demanded.

“I’m okay,” Dazai said, and at Yosano-sensei’s look, quickly added. “With pain meds and rest, I’ll be up and running in no time at all!” She gave a cheeky grin for emphasis.

“That’s great,” Yosano said. Then turned to Chuuya, “Will you be taking the next few days off?”

“Obviously,” Chuuya rolled his eyes. “Did you think I’d leave the idiot alone?”

Yosano smiled. “It’s settled then. I’ll just get your discharge papers ready and you’re good to go.”

Yosano left the room, pulling Chuuya along with her despite his grumbling. Dazai smiled after them.

“So, Atsushi-kun,” Dazai turned to Atsushi, gesturing him to sit on the stool beside the bed. “Tell me how your day’s going? How’s everyone in the office? Kunikida-kun must be so happy that I’m out of his hair.”

“Kunikida-san didn’t have to rearrange his schedule, if that’s what you’re asking,” Atsushi teased.

“Aren’t you becoming sassy, Atsushi-kun? I didn’t raise you like that. Oh, poor old me, what ever shall I do?” Dazai slumped back in her pillows dramatically, arm slung over her eyes in exaggerated grief.

Atsushi smiled. It will take a while, but Atsushi knew Dazai-san was going to be fine. And then, everything would go back to normal.

.

. 

.

Or as normal life could be when you were part of the Armed Detective Agency, and had Dazai Osamu as your mentor.

_______________

***Two weeks later

“Good morning, my wonderful colleagues! Did you miss me? Not a surprise! Thank you for the grand welcome, you can all sit down now!”

Atsushi’s head whipped towards the voice of his mentor. Dazai-san looked as energetic as ever.

“Stop fucking blocking the way!” Came an angry voice from behind Dazai-san.

Chuuya kicked her to the side, gentle in his own aggressive way. Dazai-san whined at him.

“Hey, idiots.” Chuuya-san greeted the agency members. “I'm here to rid myself of this idiot,” he jabbed a thumb in Dazai-san's direction, and got an indignant swat for his efforts. “This annoying prick is your problem now.”

“You wish,” Ranpo-san interjected from the side, mischievous grin on his face. “You committed to her for life. That makes her your problem. Don't forget that, mister Fancy Hat!”

“You talk as if I’m not here!”

“Yeah, my bad.” Chuuya-san groaned, completely ignoring Dazai-san. “God, I was so stupid back then.”

“Hey, no going back now!” Dazai-san exclaimed, draping herself on Chuuya-san like a living coat. “Don't forget Chuuya, you’re my dog! For life!”   

“Not your dog, bastard!” Chuuya yelled, waving a threatening fist in the air.

“Really now?” Dazai-san questioned with a deadpan. Then, turning to the others, she said, “Chibi here insisted on stalking me all the way to the agency. Isn’t he such a good guard dog? I trained him so well.” Dazai-san puffed up in pride, satisfaction masking her expression.

Atsushi really didn’t think this deserved such pride or satisfaction.

“I wasn’t stalking you, asshole!”

“Oh, no need to be so rude, Slug.” She dismissed carelessly. Then, bringing a hand to her mouth, she stage whispered, “Chuuya's just throwing a tantrum because I winked and blew a kiss at the hot little guy standing right next to me in the elevator.”

Atsushi groaned in embarrassment. So this was one of those times, he thought to himself. He really did not want to be involved in one of their, as everyone called it, ‘Soukoku arguments’.

Nobody could ever pin the reason of the argument when Dazai-san and Chuuya-san were involved.

Sometimes, they were perfectly fine with the other openly flirting with someone else. Other times, either one would pop a cork if the other was having a perfectly civil, no-nonsense conversation with someone else. 

So right now, the reason for the bickering could be anything from ‘Dazai-san was flirting with the guy in the elevator and Chuuya-san got angry’ to ‘Dazai-san accidentally stepped on Chuuya-san’s frankly unfairly expensive shoes during the act and thus caught his ire.’

Or, lastly and more likely, it could be the tested and proven, go-to reason of anything related to Dazai-san, which is…

“Or, maybe I’m just annoyed that I had to see your ugly mug and listen to your annoying voice for two weeks straight.”

Yeah, that. That seemed more likely. Maybe minus the ugly mug, Dazai-san was unfairly attractive. Despite everything.

Dazai-san turned an offended look towards Chuuya-san.

Atsushi would say that Dazai-san had no right to make such an offended expression but he respected Dazai-san too much to acknowledge such impolite thoughts.

“If anything, the last two weeks were more difficult for me than you,” Dazai-san pointed out.

Which, true, Atsushi could agree to that. Then, Dazai-san continued, and Atsushi could only mourn his hasty agreement at the words leaving Dazai-san’s lips.

“I was so concerned I would catch Chibi’s slug germs because my immune system was shot.” Dazai-san shuddered exaggeratedly. Then frowned, thoughtful and worried, “Stupidity isn’t contagious, is it? Two weeks isn’t a long time, generally speaking.”

“If it was, I’d be genuinely concerned,” Chuuya-san commented, rolling his eyes.

“Well, back to the guy in the elevator,” Dazai-san shrugged. “I mean, how could I not flirt with him?”

Atsushi would like to ask a more important question. That being…

“Why would you want to flirt with a stranger anyway?” Kunikida-san muttered, paying only half a mind to the ridiculous conversation. That seemed to be enough for Dazai-san.

“My dear Kunikida-kun~” She purred. “It’s precisely because he’s a stranger that I would want to flirt with him. I mean, what better way to get to know each other! Right, Atsushi-kun?”

Dazai-san was now looking at him expectantly. “I wouldn’t know,” was Atsushi’s dry response.

“How boring~” Dazai-san pouted.

“Yeah, it must be boring when everyone is not as much of a menace as you,” Chuuya-san had migrated from his place at the door to Dazai-san’s office chair, comfortably sitting and filing away at his nails.

Dazai-san gave a pleased smile at that, turning to Atsushi and gleefully remarking, “That’s the greatest compliment Chibi has ever given me!”

Atsushi did not say it but he thought it alright. Chuuya-san, that’s a really low bar! No wonder Dazai-san had fainted when Atsushi had presented her with flowers and expressed his sincere gratitude for her presence.

If this went on, someone would sweep Dazai-san away right from under Chuuya-san’s nose. Thinking this, Atsushi mentally rolled his eyes, tuning back into the on-going conversation. What a ridiculous thought that was.

“That was the first reason!” Dazai-san turned back to Kunikida-kun, answering his previous question. “The second is-” 

“I really don’t care enough to know,” Kunikida-san informed. He was, as usual, ignored.

“It’s a good way of hoarding an entire elevator all to yourself! How? Because it tends to make people uncomfortable. Especially if you start getting a little handsy with it!”

Why anyone would ever expect Dazai-san to give a socially acceptable answer to anything was beyond him.

“Bonus if you traumatize an innocent soul!” Dazai-san let out an excited giggle, which sounded quite evil to Atsushi's tiger senses. “The endless possibilities, I couldn't have resisted if I tried!”

Atsushi would not want to be one of the residents of Dazai-san’s apartment complex if he was paid for it. Actually, no. He was broke, he’d take the offer any day.

“Just so you guys know,” Chuuya-san chimed in, blowing at his nails. “There wasn't anyone other than me on the elevator with him.”   

So all of this was a lie?! If anyone asked him, no, Atsushi was not at all invested in his mentor’s very much untrue amorous escapades!

“Well, I did say the hot 'little' guy, didn't I?” The emphasis on the ‘little’ made a vein appear on Chuuya-san’s temple. Dazai-san leaned against her desk, arms crossed, head tilted slightly, staring teasingly at Chuuya-san, “Chibi's just being a pissy princess because he's flustered~”

‘Get a room, please!’ Atsushi screamed internally, swiftly turning away from them. Kunikida-san’s annoyed sigh was louder than usual. 

Dazai-san and Chuuya-san had this uncanny ability to make every place into their place whenever they were together. Only because they would bicker relentlessly, uncaring of anyone around them.

Atsushi found it funny as much as he found it annoying. More than once, Atsushi and his fellow audience had heard things they would rather not have any knowledge of.

It was appropriate to give them their privacy when they were like this. If leaving the room is not possible, turning away to give the illusion of privacy was usually enough.

Which is to say, none of the agency members did. Except Kunikida-san and Atsushi.

Yosano-san was leaning against Ranpo-san’s desk, both munching on popcorn and staring intensely at the couple having a stare off.

Naomi’s eyes were sparkling the way they often did when she was watching a particularly romantic scene in her favorite k-drama.

Tanizaki was fortunately, or unfortunately depending on who you ask, too busy trying to breathe through the chokehold Naomi had on him in her excitement to appropriately appreciate the sight in front of him.

Kenji was smiling guilelessly in the direction of the couple. The person Atsushi was least concerned about was Kenji. He had come back from his farm a couple days ago, innocent as ever and oblivious to the overwhelming-but-not-exactly-sexual tension in the air.

And the one Atsushi was most worried about was Kyouka. 

Kyouka had a glaring-not-really-glaring look in her eyes, and Atsushi desperately hoped she didn’t list this down as a reliable method to make people uncomfortable in her little notebook, which had been a gift from Dazai-san, labelled 101-ways. (Atsushi had kindly declined wanting to know what the so called ‘101-ways’ were for.)

Chuuya-san abruptly stood up, startling everyone but Dazai-san. In one swift motion, he kissed Dazai-san and was at the door, saying, “Make sure she’s still in one piece by the time I get her. See ya later, fuckers.”

His ears were red, Atsushi noted.

And instead of the cool, over-the-shoulder wave Atsushi had come to expect from Dazai-san’s dramatic exists from the Agency, they were presented with a proud, leather-gloved middle finger. 

Atsushi had many unsavory thoughts at the gesture, ‘How rude!’ being the mildest of them.

Dazai-san hadn’t moved from her place yet. She had a tiny but true smile on her face, which softened her entire expression.

Noticing Atsushi’s attention on her, Dazai-san smiled cheekily at him. “Isn’t Chibi just adorable?”

Atsushi would not ever claim Chuuya-san, a mafia executive, to be adorable. Deadly and absolutely terrifying, yes. Adorable, never in his nine lives.

Atsushi didn’t need his non-existent self-preservation instincts to convince him not to say those exact words, unless he wanted to be teased to the end of time.

It was best not to answer then. So, Atsushi smiled. Smiling was a safe response in any given situation.

Unless someone died. Obviously.

(Atsushi would have liked to know that before smiling at that one lady client who told him her husband was murdered. The lady had been very offended and unnerved. On the bright side, Atsushi hadn’t had to take the case. Less work for him. Yay!)

“Tell me you’re in love without telling me you’re in love,” Yosano-san rolled her eyes, but the smile on her face was fond.

Dazai-san rolled her eyes right back at her tauntingly, “Tell me you’re single without telling me you’re single.”

“Touché,” Yosano-san grumbled with a pout. 

“Too sappy!” Ranpo-san complained. “I don’t like tooth-rotting fluff!”

“Of course you don’t,” Dazai-san chirped, “The sweets you eat are enough for that. There’s no need for any more sugar in your life.”

Ranpo-san cried out in mock-outrage, making Yosano-san laugh.

“Back to work everyone,” cut in Kunikida-san’s voice. “And Dazai, if you’re going to slack off, be kind enough to not disturb others during work hours.”

Dazai-san stuck out her tongue at him, muttering, “Slacking off? How dare he. And kindness? I’ve never been accused of such.”

Atsushi couldn’t tell which part offended her more. Both were equal parts true as they were false.

“Oh!” Dazai-san exclaimed, “I totally forgot about these!” She was staring at the origami she had made some two weeks ago. “Kenji-kun! Tanizaki-kun! Naomi!”

All three looked at Dazai-san. Dazai-san waved them over enthusiastically, “I have something I wanted to give you guys!”

Kenji was the first to skip over to Dazai-san. Tilting his head, he asked excitedly, “Yes, Dazai-san?”

“Here, here, Kenji-kun,” she handed over the paper cow. “I made this for you in my free time!”

“You mean when you were slacking off?” Kunikida-san grumbled under his breath. Atsushi’s tiger senses picked up on it, and so did Dazai-san. “Hush now, Kunikida-kun. Let the children have their happiness.”

“Wow!” Kenji exclaimed in wonder. “Is this for me? Is it a cow?”  

Dazai-san nodded to both questions. “Do you like it?”

“It’s wonderful! Thank you, Dazai-san!” Kenji hugged her fiercely.

Atsushi was a little concerned about Dazai-san. She wouldn’t snap in two, would she? Chuuya-san wanted her in one piece. Atsushi wasn’t sure whether she was okay or not, but if Dazai-san’s life was being squeezed out of her, she didn’t let it show on her face.

Dazai-san patted Kenji’s back, her voice came out a little strained, “I think that’s enough gratitude for a paper cow, Kenji-kun.”

Kenji didn’t seem to get the memo, though. Dazai-san’s eyes desperately sought out Atsushi’s. “Atsushi-kun, if you could please help me out a little?”

It wasn’t so much for Dazai-san that he moved as much as to save his own neck from Chuuya-san’s wrath. A lie, of course, but nobody needed to know that.

Atsushi would like to keep Dazai-san alive and around for a while longer. If Chuuya-san could keep Dazai-san alive for two weeks, then surely the Agency could keep her alive for one day. 

Atsushi was determined. Dazai-san’s first day back at the Agency, after the incident two weeks prior, would not be the day she died. Absolutely not!

(Also, Atsushi was not keen on following this chaotic mess of a pseudo-family to the after-life, thank you very much.)

“Atsushi-kun, if you’re done with your internal monologue, would you please?” Dazai-san gestured at Kenji helplessly.

Atsushi leapt off his chair hurriedly, grasping at Kenji’s arms, trying to make him let go as gently as he could. “Kenji-kun, why don’t you play with the cow, now? I’m sure by now Dazai-san knows that you love your gift plenty.”

Kenji pulled back at that, grinning toothily, “I do!” Then turning to Dazai-san, “Can I feed it?”

“I’m not really sure it’s capable of eating but you can draw her a meadow?” Dazai-san suggested, lightly rubbing at her stomach.

“Okay!” 

“Just try not to cook it, Kenji-kun,” Dazai-san called out after him.

Kenji saluted, “Got it, Dazai-san!”

As Kenji went away, Dazai-san whispered to him, “I was almost sure my stitches were gonna pop if you took just a second longer.”

Atsushi stared at her in horror. Dazai-san waved him away, smiling, “Don’t look like that, they’re already dissolved.”

That did not make him feel any better. Actually, what would make Atsushi feel better was perhaps keeping Kenji away from Dazai-san for a while. You know, only to save his own neck.

“That was…” Naomi paused searching for the right words, as she dragged Tanizaki after her. “intense.”

“Very,” Dazai-san commented lightly. She picked up the two cranes from her desk, turning back to her audience, “Here, these are for you.” She handed them over carefully.

Naomi took both in her hands, examining them this way and that. “They’re lovely!” She passed them off to Tanizaki, turning back to Dazai-san in excitement, “Thank you-!”

Atsushi was between them before Naomi could take a step, “Maybe don’t hug her,” Atsushi pleaded. He didn’t want Dazai-san being held in a chokehold right after surviving a crushing hug. Naomi could get real handsy whenever she’s excited. “I’m sure Dazai-san handles verbal gratitude just as well.”

“Ah, right!” Thankfully, Naomi did seem to get the memo. Poor Tanizaki though, who was now the target of her crushing gratitude. Naomi was back to squeezing the life out of his arm. “Thank you so much, Dazai-san!”

Tanizaki was carefully inspecting them, “Aren’t these… Are these reports?!”

Dazai-san was upon him before the last word left his mouth. She pressed a finger to his lips, “Shhh!” She whispered, “It’s a conspiracy, Tanizaki-kun. If you talk about it, it’ll become true.” With an ominous expression on her face, she ended with, “We don’t want that.”

Tanizaki looked positively confused at that, whispering back, “Uh, okay?” 

“There you go!” Dazai-san was back to her ‘normal’ volume which, in Atsushi’s humble opinion, was loud enough to not categorize as ‘normal’. At all. “You’re already starting to get it.”

Tanizaki in fact was not starting to get it. Whatever that it happened to be.

“I- I think I’ll go do my work now. Kunikida-san would be furious.” Tanizaki stuttered, nodding at Dazai-san in thanks.

“How diligent of you~” Dazai-san praised, shooing them away with a smile.

As soon as they were out of earshot, Dazai-san’s attention was on him.

Dazai-san side-eyed him. “Atsushi-kun.” 

Atsushi’s posture turned rigid. “Y-yes?”

“Since when did I appoint you as my bodyguard?” Dazai-san inquired. She didn’t sound annoyed, Atsushi didn’t expect her to anyway. Dazai-san was not an easy person to annoy.

“You didn’t. I self-appointed myself, barely five minutes ago,” Atsushi answered honestly.

“I see.” Dazai-san remained silent for a moment too long. Atsushi thought it was over. Atsushi thought wrong.

“Atsushi-kun~” Dazai-san cooed and her arms slipped around him. Atsushi shivered, he did not like that look in his mentor’s eyes. “You’re so cute!” She took his neck in a playful chokehold, ruffling his hair roughly, making more of a mess out of them than they already were.

Suddenly, Atsushi felt deep regret at having protected his mentor from Naomi’s chokehold. He’d rather not have his hair looking like he stepped out of a tornado. (It was already a crime on its own.)

Atsushi did not like this one bit. Atsushi was good at lying to himself.  

“Looking after your dear mentor! How nice!” Dazai-san patted his head, smoothing back the hair. “At least someone cares about me,” Then raising her voice, she said, “Unlike the one named Kunikida Doppo!”

A grumble was heard, somewhat sounding along the lines of, ‘What the hell do you want now?’

As was the usual, Dazai-san ignored him. “Thank you for caring, Atsushi-kun,” she let that process before saying, “even if you are but a cute little cat!”

“I’m not a cat, I’m a tiger!” Atsushi cried, hiding his face in his palms in embarrassment.

“Same thing,” Dazai-san shrugged dismissively. “A tiger is still an adorable little kitten from the kitty kingdom!” 

Atsushi’s face bloomed red. “Dazai-san,” he whined pitifully, only serving to make her laugh harder. Atsushi would love to hear anything other than Dazai-san’s boisterous laughter.

“Two cranes, isn’t that so romantic brother!” came Naomi’s voice.

Actually, Atsushi thought, screw the universe!

_______________

“That’s cheating!” Dazai-san shouted. Ranpo-san kept laughing at her. She pouted in response, “You weren’t supposed to give hints!”

Ranpo-san and Dazai-san were going through the challenging cases of the past two weeks. They were already solved but Ranpo-san was making Dazai-san guess the suspect just by reading the case file.

So far, Dazai-san had been pretty accurate in her guesses. Not that anyone actually doubted her skill, least of all Atsushi.

Atsushi shuddered, to think this is how geniuses spend their free time. 

Ranpo-san had seen Dazai-san was getting restless just sitting around while everyone else was busy doing something. And it was a known fact, a restless Dazai-san was never a good omen.

So Ranpo-san had challenged Dazai-san to solve cases with him. This is how they had spent the better part of the last couple hours. That, and Dazai-san sneakily snacking on Ranpo-san’s candy stash.

They both were aware that the other knew. They pretended they didn’t.

“Well, you wouldn’t have been able to solve it otherwise,” Ranpo-san justified.

“Not true,” Dazai-san denied petulantly.

“It’s true,” Ranpo-san insisted. They both knew it was a lie.

“Nuh-uh,” Dazai-san refuted still, crossing her arms. “I demand compensation!”

Ranpo-san narrowed his eyes, trying to gauge how serious she was about that. Must have been pretty serious, because Ranpo-san huffed, despair etched into his face as he rummaged through his candy stash.

“Here,” he held out a chocolate bar. He turned his face away, determined to not give in to his urge to pull back. “Take it before I change my mind.”

Atsushi had never seen Dazai-san snatch something so fast. Dazai-san grinned, “As if!”

Ranpo-san’s emerald gaze quickly found its way to the chocolate bar in Dazai-san’s hand, staring at it hard.

“Trying to eat it with your gaze alone, Ranpo-san?” Dazai-san teased.

Ranpo-san narrowed his eyes, staring with more concentration at the candy bar than he had ever graced to a case. As if willing it into his hand and through his mouth.

A wicked smile crossed Dazai-san’s lips. Atsushi could almost feel the disaster about to strike.

“Ranpo-san~” Dazai-san sang tauntingly. She waved the candy bar tantalizingly in front of Ranpo-san. “Do you want this?” Ranpo-san’s eyes followed it.

He snapped out of it his reverie, glaring at Dazai-san. As he opened his mouth, he was interrupted by the door being kicked open.

In stepped Yosano-san carrying a cozy-looking blanket in her arms. “Nap time, Dazai,” cooed Yosano-san.

“What am I, a toddler?” Dazai whined, but didn't protest much. She quickly backed away from Ranpo-san’s heated glare. “It's no fun if it doesn't annoy Kunikida-kun.”

Yosano-san threw a pillow at her face at that. It was soft, it wouldn’t hurt, but Dazai-san still felt the need to groan dramatically. Dazai-san caught the pillow as it slid off her face. Her brows were furrowed, expressing her clear displeasure.

It was gone as soon as it came. She flitted towards the couch, humming a cheerful tune, pillow hugged to her chest.

“So you admit you do all this just to annoy me?” Kunikida-san questioned, turning from his work screen with a raised brow.

“Don't flatter yourself, Kunikida-kun,” Dazai-san replied distractedly. She was busy fluffing up her pillow. “I never did not admit to that.”

Kunikida-san sighed, resigned.

Dazai-san grinned impishly as Kunikida-san turned away. Satisfied with her pillow, she stretched like a cat and flopped down on it, sighing contentedly. “I could have done without a pillow but thanks anyway, Yosano-sensei.”

“Now to tuck you in,” Yosano-san fussed with the blanket, carefully unfolding and spreading it.

“Go right ahead, mom,” Dazai-san joked, helping Yosano-san tuck the ends of the blanket around her.

“Mom, is it?” She chuckled. “C’mere, baby, give mommy a goodnight kiss!” Yosano-san played along, leaning down and kissing Dazai-san’s forehead with a loud ‘Muah!’.

Dazai-san giggled at the theatrics. Wrinkling her nose in mock disgust, she commented, “Ew! Mom, I’m too old for this!”

Yosano-san gasped, a palm pressed to her chest in shock. “How dare you say that! You’re still my little baby!”

In response, Dazai-san stuck out her tongue and quickly pulled the blanket over her head to hide. Her muffled delight could still be heard.

Atsushi was distantly aware of Ranpo-san sneakily trying to steal back the candy bar left by Dazai-san’s pillow, and Yosano-san slapping away his wayward hands and telling him to keep his ‘grimy little fingers’ away from it.

This was by far the most childlike version of his mentor that Atsushi had ever experienced. He couldn’t help but wish there more such moments. Her laugh was infectious.

Dazai-san had a different kind of charm like this. She looked so much more beautiful. And so much younger. She was also very expressive like this; honest in her joy, innocent in her chaos.

Atsushi knew that in no time at all, Dazai-san would be back to her old self, turning life into a play of controlled misery and entertainment. The calm will shatter and chaos will return. But this time, in a good way.

After all, it was the usual day in the Armed Detective Agency. Peace really wasn’t their thing anyway.