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Hades’ bedroom door crashed open, and the very next moment, a very lanky figure was dropped to the floor in the center of the room.
“Ouch.”
The ruler of the City’s underground sat up in their bed, not bothering to properly get up.
Jonny ignored the whine, “This idiot blew up twelve neighbourhoods. On four different levels.”
“That’s… nothing new really,” Hades answered, raising an eyebrow.
“It was a nuke,” Jonny said flatly.
Oh. Well, at least the Acheron would be getting a good upgrade.
“It was a big red button!” Tim whined from the floor. He turned onto his back, crossing his hands over his chest, “And I said I was sorry.”
Jonny rolled his eyes, “One, I don’t care. Two, if anyone’s gonna be cross with you, it’s gonna be Ashes–”
“Hades,” they corrected him.
“Sorry, Hades,” Jonny said with a small, yet very unserious over-the-top bow. “And three,” he turned back to Tim, “Raph mentioned a ‘nuclear winter’. What the fuck is a ‘nuclear winter’?”
“I… don’t actually know,” Tim shrugged.
“You think we’re getting snow?” Jonny whispered. “If we’re getting snow, I might just bring you another nuke.”
“We’re totally having a snowfight if that’s the case,” Tim whispered back. She pointed at Jonny, “And I’m going to build such a cool igloo, and it’s going to be so much cooler than yours–”
Hades hated to interrupt, but, “I don’t think that’s what nuclear winter means.”
“Do you think or do you know?” Jonny asked. “Because snow fights are a sacred –”
“Thanks, Jonny. That’ll be all.”
“Really? ‘That’ll be all’?” the first mate scoffed. “I’m not your fucking dog.”
“I’ve got a treat waiting for you two levels down,” they told him.
“Fuck you.”
Hades shrugged, “If you don’t want to go take care of those people I can still send someone else–”
“I’m going!” Jonny huffed, cursing them on his way out of the room.
Just before the door closed, though, Hades could see Jonny’s tail wagging. He’d never been able to hide his excitement all that well.
Once the stomping in the hallway died down somewhat, Hades turned to Tim.
They would need to see the damage she’d done with that nuclear explosion, do a tally of how many collectors they’ll need for the fresh brains. She’d given them plenty of work, hadn’t she?
Hades couldn’t be mad at that pretty face for long, though.
“Now,” they started, getting up from their bed and walking closer to him. “What shall we do with you?”
“Have you heard?”
“Heard what?”
“Lord Hades seems to have found themself a mistress.”
“Yes! And I hear she’s beautiful!”
”Oh, watch it! Miss Aphrodite’s going to be jealous.”
“I hear they’re planning to bring her to the Olympians’ next party.”
“That’s going to be somewhere close by, isn’t it? Think we might see her?”
“Oh, I hope so!”
“Ohh, this is some soft fabric,” Tim said, eyes wide.
Moving to stand in front of the mirror, she looked at her reflection, admiring the long red dress.
Strips of gold hugged his arms, spiraling down the otherwise nearly transparent sleeves, matching the colour of his mechanism. The dress hem nearly reached the floor, and he spun around, watching the cloth dance around him.
She turned to look at Hades, “Where do you even get stuff like this? So fancy.”
“I’ve got my ways,” they smirked.
They walked closer, admiring their crewmate in such expensive garments. They put a hand on the gunner’s hip, running their fingers over the fabric.
“Wait, that’s really soft, wow,” they said, impressed.
They put their other hand around her midsection, pulling her closer to themself.
“You know,” Hades started, “I heard a name, recently.”
“Just one?” Tim chuckled.
Hades rolled their eyes, but remained smiling.
“Persephone,” they said. “People can’t quite converge on whether it means ‘bringer of light’ or ‘bringer of death’. With you and your explosions?” They pressed a kiss to his cheek. “It sounds perfect.”
“Oh, this name’s for me?” Tim blinked, looking surprised, but also flattered.
Hades shrugged, “If you’d like it.”
“Oh I like it, alright,” Tim grinned. Then quieter, trying it out, “Per-se-pho-ne… Yeah, I like it.”
“Alright, princess,” they laughed. “Wanna wear it to next week’s party?”
Tim turned around to look at them, “The dress or the name?”
“Either/or.”
Tim hummed.
“I think I’ll wear the dress out, yeah.” He tilted his head to the side, “And I think I might just switch to Persephone for the rest of our visit here, like you with ‘Hades’.”
“That mean you’re also going to be staying with me here, Persephone?”
Persephone pursed her lips, “Not the whole time, probably. But we can arrange something so that the reputation of the great Hades won’t be tarnished or whatever.”
“Maybe you can spend some time here and some out, doing your own thing?” Hades offered. “That way you can easily bring little gifts to the folks on the upper levels of the City, too.”
“Well, that is absolutely not a bad idea!” Persephone laughed. He looked back at the mirror, watching the reflections of himself and Hades standing side by side, both of them dressed exquisitely, “Not a bad idea at all.”
“I saw her! Lady Persephone!”
“Well I saw Don Zeus, fuming!”
“What, because Lord Hades wouldn’t let him near Lady Persephone?”
“Mhm. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him look more jealous than when he stormed out of that party. Er, pun not intended.”
“Huh, guess even the Olympians can’t get everything they want sometimes. You think Mx. Hermes is going to be putting this in the news?”
“Oh, you bet they’re going to try their damn best to put Don Zeus’ tantrum on the front page of their paper. He and Lady Persephone are going to be the main talk of the City for a while, if you ask me.”
“Damn, I hope someone got pictures.”
“What a lovely day for a walk,” Persephone frowned, hugging his coat closer over his frame.
Hades chuckled, “The cold weather is, once again, quite literally your doing, love.”
“Well,” Persephone huffed, “I don’t like it.”
The two of them were walking down one of the more busy streets in the vicinity of Hades’ palace. There were lots of people about, but all of them made way for the couple.
Lest they anger the guard dog.
“Maybe stop dropping nukes, then?” Jonny huffed, turning around to look at the pair, now walking backwards in front of the two. “There is no snow. It’s just cold and there’s soot, or whatever this junk is.”
Persephone shrugged.
“What can I do?” she said. “Those things make fun shapes when they land.”
“Oh, I can make you see fun shapes…” Jonny muttered, hand reaching towards his gun.
“Jonny,” Hades chided.
“What?” he barked at them. “I wasn’t gonna do anything!”
Hades just raised an eyebrow.
Then, they gave Jonny a once-over. Guard duty wasn’t quite his forte when he wasn’t actually able to fight anyone.
“He looks a bit tense,” Persephone stage-whispered, coming to the same conclusion. “Doesn’t he look a bit tense?”
Jonny gave her an unimpressed glare.
“I am going to bite your head off,” the first mate hissed.
“He does seem a bit tense,” Hades nodded.
“Think we can afford to throw him a bone?” Persephone smiled, watching from the corner of her eye as Jonny’s tail twitched.
Hades hummed, “I did have some plans brewing for the street towards the right on that next crossroads over there… We can take a stroll down it, let him run wild for a bit?”
“Still not a dog.”
“Do you…” Persephone teased, “not want something to chew on, then?”
Jonny all but growled, then turned so he was walking forwards again, and sped up his pace. Persephone and Hades watched him reach the crossroads way ahead of them.
And he turned left.
“Other right, sweetie!” Persephone called out.
Jonny stopped. Did a half-turn. Walked over to the other side of the street, one hand raised, giving the middle finger, then disappeared into the alley without a word.
Persephone couldn’t help but laugh. A breeze blew by, then, and she pulled her coat even closer.
“Hadeeees,” he said sweetly.
“I told you to take the thicker coat.”
Persephone pouted.
“Just up to the alley?” she asked. “We can probably find something to set on fire there.”
Hades hummed.
They grabbed a sleeve of their own coat, “Only if I’m the one setting the fires.”
Persephone huffed, “Come on, that’s so not fair.”
“Remind me again, which coat did you leave your matches in?”
“... The thicker one,” Persephone sighed. “Okay, fine.”
Hades pulled off their coat, and hung it over Persephone’s shoulders. They placed a kiss on his cheek.
“You know what?" they said. "I might just let you set one thing on fire, since you agreed so quickly.”
He smiled, “See, this is why I like you. You can be very reasonable.”
A gurgled scream sounded from the alley, several others – more crisp – following soon after. A gunshot, two. Another cry, this one quickly cut short.
Hades offered an elbow to Persephone, “Let’s go see what Jonny’s doing.”
Persephone took it.
“By the sounds of it, he’s getting himself an early dinner,” she laughed.
“I am so billing him for the blood-cleaning, though,” Hades shook their head. “He keeps forgetting I like keeping my district sanitary.”
Persephone simply laughed, and the two of them continued their walk towards the ever more noisy street.
“I was told that Lady Persephone’s coming to this neighbourhood next week!”
“Oh, no. Oh, gods, no!”
“What do you mean ‘oh, no’? She always brings a party with her. Wine and music and such!”
“I’ve heard she only ever brings death and destruction wherever she goes…”
“Well– I mean– Sure, there’s been that one incident with the fireworks–”
“Incident? I wouldn’t call that an incident. And those were not fireworks.”
“Well, I’m looking forward to her visit. Besides, you better not anger Lord Hades with those comments of yours. Nothing good comes when an Olympian is cross with you.”
“My Liege,” Marius gave a fanciful flourish of a bow.
“Baron von Raum,” Hades nodded.
“Hi, Marius,” Persephone chuckled. “What brings you here?”
“Oh, I come with a matter of utmost importance,” the man said, standing up straight.
Hades blinked, “And that is…?”
“I hereby give a cordial invitation to a private gathering in the main chambers of the technological district, my Liege,” Marius bowed again.
“Let’s…” Persephone frowned, confused, “try that in Spenglish, maybe?”
Marius’ official posture immediately went more slack, “Athena’s outta town, so Raph’s throwing a party at her place. Just for the crew.”
“I’m not supposed to be butting into Athena’s territory,” Hades said.
Persephone just laughed, “Like that’s ever stopped you before.”
“Athena’s apparently got a few secret entrances and Raph’s offered to wipe the cameras,” Marius grinned. “Brian’s already said he’ll come, and TS is excited to let us try Dionysis’ special drinks. Which it’ll be sneaking directly out of the guy’s bar, of course.”
“Come on,” Persephone whined. He leaned forward, not looking away from Hades, “The Acheron isn’t gonna burn down while we’re away, or whatever.”
“Oh, it better not,” Hades chuckled. “Gonna do that to it myself when it’s time to leave.”
“Brian and TS are very good listeners,” Marius said with a mischievous smile. “And they’ve both had lots of important, chatty customers. And Brian’s on EJM, so neither of them really minds sharing.”
Hades looked over to Marius. They’d never been able to turn down blackmail material.
“Officially, I’m going to be here, like any other night,” they said.
“But unofficially it’s a yes?” Persephone smiled.
Hades just grinned.
“Fuck yes!” Persephone cheered. She laughed, “I can’t wait to get my grubby little hands on Athena’s artillery…”
“Of course that’s the only reason you want to go there,” Hades chuckled, shaking their head.
“Well, what can I do,” Persephone shrugged. He grinned, “Actually, that and I get to shoot someone other than Jonny for a change.”
“Oh, he’s dead?” Marius asked, turning towards the first mate-shaped body in the back corner of the grand room. “I thought he was just sleeping.”
“Hey, he asked for it this time,” Persephone said. “Like, literally. Hades wouldn’t let him go out–”
“He was going to go after the guests we’d just had,” Hades rolled their eyes. “I can’t just let him loose like that if I want to maintain my reputation.”
“So he asked to be shot to get some of his frustration out,” Persephone ended. “Turns out that aiming a gun’s just like riding a bike,” she grinned.
Marius laughed, “Glad you guys are having fun here, too. Tell him he’s invited too, when he wakes up?”
“Will do,” Persephone gave a mock salute. “Oh, is it still raining radioactive dust or has this last fallout settled already?” he asked. “Just so I know what to wear.”
“Nope, it’s all settled a little while back,” Marius smiled. “In fact, we’ve had four days of cloudless skies in a row! Well, on the upper levels, at least.”
“Starting to feel a bit cramped in the halls of my grand palace again?” Hades asked Persephone.
“Getting a bit itchy, yeah,” she nodded. “I’ll probably go sightseeing for a bit after the party.”
“Where?” Marius asked. “Just so I know not to be there.”
“I’ll probably hang around Zeus’ residence,” Persephone gave a little clap. “He’s been pissing me off so much lately.”
“Just lately?” Hades laughed.
“Touché,” Persephone said. “I heard he’s in the process of switching out his guards, though. There’s never been a better opportunity to go after him in all the time we’ve been here.”
“Can I finish my book about his psyche first, please?” Marius whined. “If you kill him, it’s going to be selling really well, but it has to be finished before he dies.”
“Hmm,” Persephone hummed, “how much time do you need?”
“... Two weeks, maybe? Three?”
Persephone considered it, “Two weeks and I’ll give you a heads-up before I start any shit?”
“I can work with that,” Marius nodded. He turned towards the door then, “I think there’s someone waiting to see you two.”
“Eh, they can wait some more,” Hades waved a hand. “We’ve got important guests at the moment, and those take priority.”
“Important guests, huh?” Marius nodded, puffing out his chest at the flattery.
“You came here with an urgent message, did you not, baron?” they grinned.
“That I did.”
“Then you take priority,” Hades said, gesturing for him to come closer.
Marius walked up the few stairs to the two thrones, and hopped up to sit on the two armrests in the middle.
“Now, dear baron,” Hades grinned. “Give us all the inside info on the other Olympians.”
Persephone gasped, covering his mouth with a hand in faux offense, “Gossip!”
Marius leaned back, making himself comfortable, and Persephone leaned her elbows on his thigh.
“I’m listening,” she said, cheeks squished between her palms. “Intently.”
“Arachne’s death was an inside job? Really? What else is the press going to come up with?”
“It doesn’t seem too impossible to me…”
“It was an anonymous tip for the news station. It was probably just some kids, playing a prank.”
“I don’t know… I heard the person giving the tip included details that were never released to the public. Besides, Lord Hades seems to agree with Mx. Hermes on this one, and those two never agree on stuff.”
“Huh. Well, fuck.”
“Wait, there’s just been another release about Don Zeus’ kid!”
“Hah, which one?”
“Look! There’s even inside news on Poseidon Industries just below that last article!”
“Who the fuck is giving out all of this info?”
“I don’t know, and I don’t care. I just know that all of the public relations teams are going to be having a field day with this stuff, and I am so here for it.”
“... Honestly? Yeah. This is going to be such a shitshow, hah!”
“I thought I saw another mushroom cloud,” Hades chuckled as Persephone entered the throne room.
Persephone smiled, “Whoopsie.”
She walked over to Hades’ throne, and made herself comfortable sitting across their lap.
“I visited Brian,” Persephone said.
“Yeah?”
“Mhm,” he nodded. “Got my fortune told, too.”
Hades’ eyebrows raised, “I thought his psychic powers didn’t work on command?”
“Oh, they don’t,” Persephone grinned.
Hades laughed.
“So what, he’s just scamming people?”
Persephone shrugged, “More or less. He says he got lucky because he’d had actual prophetic dreams about a few people around the time we got here, and after that, people just kept showing up, so he had to get creative.”
“Amazing,” Hades shook their head with a smile. “Wait, then your fortune telling…?”
“Mine was the real deal,” Persephone nodded. “Brian said he had the dream just a few days ago. Apparently we’ll be leaving soon. Well,” she corrected, “soon-ish.”
Hades sighed. Their time in the City was running up, it seemed.
“How long is soon-ish?” they asked, because they really wanted to check a few certain things off their to-do list.
Persephone shrugged.
“Less than a year?” he said. “Brian wasn’t too specific. Not sure he knows the exact date either.”
“More than a month?”
“I got the vibe of ‘a handful of months’,” Persephone nodded. “But again, he wasn’t very specific.”
“Fair enough,” Hades nodded, pressing a kiss to Persephone’s cheek and making her chuckle. “Thanks for the warning.”
“Sure,” Persephone smiled. “Oh, speaking of, that wanker Hermes told a kid about one of your secret entrances,” he informed them. “I could hear his footsteps on my way here.”
Hades raised an eyebrow, “A kid?”
“Just a boy in love, and all that jazz.”
Hades rolled their eyes. Nodded.
“Most probably? His beloved’s dead, and he’s going to try to get them back,” they said. “Not an unusual occurrence. Most of these bleeding hearts don’t have the money for it – especially if they’re sneaking in through a secret entrance,” they added.
“Has… Raph managed to actually bring anyone back yet, though?” Persephone asked, curious.
“Well, yes.”
“... But?”
Hades laughed, “Look how death’s fucked us up. Can’t imagine what additional damage being hooked up to the Acheron does to a brain. Whatever exactly happens in the process, well. The result isn’t all too pretty.”
“Holy shit,” Persephone gasped, sounding a smidge too excited, “are we bringing about a zombie apocalypse? Do you think that’s why Brian said we’ll be leaving soon?”
“What the fuck is a zombie.”
“Oh, my sweet sweet angel,” Persephone cooed.
“Do not ever call me that again,” they warned him, only half-serious.
“My sweet sweet angel of fiery death and destruction?”
“That’s…” they hummed, “better.”
“Anyway,” Persephone chuckled. “I think the crew’s due for another movie marathon once we’re back in space. I’m sure that Jonny’ll love these things, and Marius and Raph are probably going to get ideas for new experiments.”
She frowned at her own words.
“Which… might not be the best idea ever if we’re the only possible specimens on hand, now that I think about it.”
“Eh,” Hades shrugged, “we’ll live.”
Persephone laughed, “We always do.”
As if on cue, both of them turned towards the grand door that led to the main hallway. A young man turned the corner, then stopped like a deer in the headlights.
Persephone sat down on his own throne next to Hades’, and the ruler of the City’s underworld leaned back, lifted one leg to cross it over the other, and rested their elbow on the handrest and their chin on top of their hand.
“I’ve been expecting you, boy,” they half-lied, commanding. “Why are you here?”
“H-Hades–” the boy stammered. Paused. Took a deep breath and squared his shoulders, then decided to start again, “Hades, hear my reprise, drifting gently on the breeze–”
Hades tried their best not to roll their eyes at the rhyming.
“– as I beg for my true love’s release.”
Called it.