Chapter Text
Terezi’s hands hover over her shades like she might push them up, even though that would in no way help her see anything. The heavy gravity on the meteors keep pulling harder than she likes, and she’s bound to experience some discomfort; the jetpack sags just a little more on her back, her glasses push down so much they cinch her nose, and her metal bracelets threaten to fall off if they hadn’t been chain-linked onto her wrists. They were the permanent titanium pieces her and Vriska made together once before Sgrub. Terezi’s was silver, twin to Vriska’s black-gold one.
The rocket hums, a sense of comfort for her that at least something else is breathing on these lifeless space rocks. Space stretches around her in layered gradients of loneliness, a difficult thing to sense, but she couldn’t really help it. It’s moments like this where she remembers Jade’s whole spiel about space and loneliness going hand in hand. It was a pretty brusque player aspect in Terezi’s opinion. Too bad she has to experience it firsthand now.
Her phone rings, something that happens everyday and still works as a twinge of contempt rather than comfort. Today, she’s breathless, slightly defeated, and really fucking emotional despite herself, and still checks her phone with as much composure as she can manage. When she looks down, there’s a familiar blue font that adorns the screen.
EB: hey, terezi. is everything okay out there?
EB: we were just talking about some stuff and you came up. just wanted to make sure you were safe!
She could tell John that space has rules, that Vriska never follows them, so of course there’s no success in finding her. She could also say that this kind of absence doesn’t smell like something John can believe in hard enough to fix. Not even that other Hope guy with the yellow God-tier underwear. Or she could just respond with the same exact thing she has everyday, and let his concern taper out.
Ever since the end of the game, Terezi’s been searching wrecked meteors in orbit, or whatever is left of them. Some small enough to sweep in an hour, some bigger with structures that take a couple days of revisiting–but no matter what, she hasn’t taken a single break from it. She’s gotten into this routine, from sunrise to just before Karkat goes to bed, whose place she was staying at temporarily.
She was only crashing with him for a bit, so focused on her mission that she had no real effort to settle into anything more than a couch and a throw blanket. It was sappy and too cheesy to ever admit to anyone, but her dream on the new Earth was to build a place with Vriska. It goes without saying that Vriska would kill her if she went on to build any house without them being together to plan it, from foundation to roof; so she won’t, and her loyalty to that will stay unchanged.
She can’t help but to admit that it’s all she dreams of, though. Seeing everyone in their new homes, all of the roommate assignments and growing relationships, the color planning and furniture and interior designing–
She shakes the thought, along with the stinging knot in her throat. It’s only day 20, and she’s only discovered what seems like a tenth of the meteors out here. There’s still time and hope. It dwindles, something she can’t admit to herself yet, but it’s there. Shit, may as well be the Seer of Hope. She thinks it would be a pretty good time to clock that into the group chat just to tee a little hee or something.
Speaking of, she has to think of a reply to John. He’s sweet and calm enough to check on her without any extra fire or uproar. Still, there’s an exhaustion today that exudes, something that hasn’t been felt since the creation of the new universe. All of their friends are happy, united, and really put together in the short amount of time that they had to rebuild Earth. Because of that, it’s an automatic pull to just tell John what he wants to hear, something that doesn’t push for concern. The last thing she needs is for her friends to put her in a mission time-out for the ambiguous, inconclusive days of searching. Karkat’s tried to take her jetpack once already, and it nearly worked except he’s really not great at keeping up in an argument against her.
GC: Y34H
GC: 1TS 4LL GOOD OUT H3R3
GC: F1ND1NG SOM3 COOL TH1NGS
It’s true. Technically. If one considered a completely dead meteor with nothing but scraps of scorched metal cool. Shit, one could hand a baby that kind of junk and they’d have a field day, so really, it’s all subjective.
GC: T3LL K4RK4T 1 M1GHT B3 B4CK L4T3 TON1GHT
EB: oh, uh, he’s not here.
EB: but i think we have plans later, so i’ll pin him down for you!
GC: TH4NKS
EB: speaking of plans, i was just curious. if you didn’t mind…
EB: when would you be able to make it to our kickbacks?
EB: you gotta come one of these days. it’s been basically a month out here and we haven’t had any time together!
EB: i hate to speak for the others but i’m pretty sure they all miss you as much as i do.
That’s when she pockets her device again. She bites back any slight notion to be self-deprecating. It’s not like her to grovel and it never will be. She finally forces her glasses back up, focuses on the meteor she’s just landed on, and treads forward on the lifeless rubble.
There’s something about loneliness when you feel it, easy to recognize when it settles inside you. It feels so painfully obvious, almost universal, like something everyone must already understand. But the loneliness you leave behind is harder to name. It moves outward, passed from one person to the next, spreading quietly as neglect. That’s when it stops being just a feeling and becomes a consequence. It’s something else when you realize what it means to be missing, and what it costs to be the one who someone else goes after, until there’s less and less of you to find.
That’s when you really feel both the consequence of being the person who’s missing, and the person that’s constantly searching, all in itself.
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“What’s the word?” Dave asks John, who’s doing an awful job at hiding his frown at the glowing phone screen.
“Uh, things are good right now. Said she’s finding some stuff,” he replies, not lifting his eyes. His thumbs are already quick to form a text back.
Dave clicks his tongue and rolls a shoulder. “Cool, cool. I usually frown like a fuckin’ clown when people tell me good news too.”
“Dave,” he bites back, tone a little harsher than he probably meant. Dave doesn’t push it; he’s used to John being pretty stressed about Terezi lately.
John stares at his screen for a little longer, full of unwarranted anticipation. Dave could see the reflection of his screen in his glasses, covered in deep blue text. He could also see the lack of movement in the chat. Must’ve been a dead response from Terezi again.
“Sorry, it’s just… she does this every day,” he sighs, tossing his phone to the side. “I ask her how she’s doing, and she responds right away, but the second I bring up our friends or plans or, like, anything that involves her coming back, she just ignores it!”
He’s pacing in front of the group now. Dave’s spread across Rose’s couch, a blend of purple velvet, black wood accents, and clashing green pillows of a completely foreign material. Rose and Kanaya are across from him, on the same exact mirroring couch separated by a coffee table in between. Rose is tapping her black heel on the tile thoughtfully, eyes jolting around the room as if something in there would help her form a response.
“She’s probably very alone out there,” Kanaya says, more just a thought out loud than it is a consolation for John.
Rose finally looks at John, who stops pacing right on cue. “Do you think maybe prompting her about all of our hangouts and plans work less as a motivator for her to come back, and more as a dismal reminder of what she’s missing out on?”
His hands are in his pockets, and he’s in low-quality grey sweatpants that show his nervous fingers picking at themselves behind the fabric. “She’s so worked up over Vriska, I just figured it was something about friendships and family and I–I don’t know, I wanted to remind her of us–”
John pauses for a bit, and Dave decides that with all the years he’s known him, that if he’s at a loss for words, no matter what the conversation is, he jumps in and saves him.
“Alright,” he starts, hands outstretched and looking absolutely ready for a motivational speech even though he’s chronically underqualified to speak on the scourge sister duo–
“I think someone new should reach out to her. She only replies to John, right? Even ignores Karkat? What if I text her? We used to be tight on the meteor. I mean, clearly some other fucked up version of us dated, so I consider that a win for my efforts to reach out.”
Rose crosses her arms and Dave immediately regrets opening his mouth. “You consider another version of yourselves dating, breaking up, and her spiraling into a self-loathing cycle of drinking and state of passing out, a win for your brilliant idea?”
“Okay, fuck, backtrack,” he tries, adjusting his shades as John sits down next to him. “Look, obviously we had enough in common to get archived as a notable increment in a doomed timeline and though I’m not really interested in speedrunning a romance when we’re fresh out of a beta game…”
His rambling surprisingly turns into something more of a capable point.
“I just think that maybe if we had some kind of platonic rapport before it flew off the romantic goddamn rails, she’ll be receptive to me reaching out now.”
Dave couldn’t admit it, but he let that plan form itself as he spoke. He never really even envisioned this idea more than five minutes ago, but he does start to fall into more admission that this might actually help John ease up a bit more. He could tell John that he checked up on Terezi, get him off his phone a little more day by day, and…
“Thanks, Dave,” John sighs, standing back up. He floats over to the kitchen–except not literally, the guy is dragging his feet really dramatically–and starts to make a cup of coffee.
“But she doesn’t text anyone back because she says it’s overstimulating and annoys her. She’ll probably block you. I love you man, but your metaphors are gonna make her launch a meteor at Earth C.”
He gives a defeated shrug, and all three pairs of eyes follow John around the kitchen as he mopes a little longer. It’s very unlike him to be so gloomy, but exactly like him to feel the weight of someone else’s absence more than others. The friends can’t decide what’s harder to face: the true reality behind Terezi’s search for Vriska, or the personification of the task’s complexity being John, every waking day.
“I miss Vriska a lot, too.”
That time, they all lose any capacity to pull a response together. Dave doesn’t settle with the weight of consolation very well, and Rose overdoes it in an unconsciously mechanical way–so much that even now, she enforces her decision to stay silent so as to not push John over the emotional barricade. Kanaya goes over to him next, and takes him into a comforting sooth.
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Originally, the group had plans to meet that night. There was a new arcade that was built that John called celebration upon, but he cancelled the hangout last minute. John’s vague about it, ”forgot to do something, rain check, another time”, which Dave knows is code for going to Karkat’s house to wait for her return. Dave doesn’t say anything about it to anyone, just grabs his keys and goes too.
It’s dark out and Karkat’s yard kind of looks like shit, but only because he’d been so occupied with rebuilding the inside of the house. Dry grass crunches under Dave’s shoes. Half-dead shrubs claw at his ankles like they’re trying to get under his skin. Dave considers roasting him for it, briefly, then decides against it. Even he can read the room from a distance.
When Dave finishes kicking off all the loose weeds that got tangled in his shoelaces, he knocks on the door and immediately places his hands in his pockets to keep from fidgeting. Karkat yanks the door open so fast it almost feels like he ripped it off its hinges. The wind from it makes Dave root himself down on the wooden porch just a little more, and opens his mouth to say something when–
“Oh, FUCK,” Karkat snaps. “In the dead of night I now have to deal with not one, but TWO shitty human boys. What is your goddamn reason this time.”
“If you goddamn must ask,” Dave mocks, stepping forward to peer in. “I’m here because I want to make sure John’s not, like, spiraling into a pit of self-loathing endorsed by Vantas himself.”
Karkat’s already stepping to the side halfway through his sentence, but like a vampire waiting for an invitation, Dave just stands there and keeps his gaze on Karkat. It takes a few more seconds for it to register that Karkat looks tired as shit, the slumped shoulders, the heavier eye bags, and total lack of energy for insults. That’s new.
When Dave steps in, the lights are off with the exception of a small kitchen lamp that’s on, and John is sleeping on the couch, which was the last thing he expected considering Karkat’s volume blindness is usually a good alarm clock. The door closes behind them and Karkat goes straight to the kitchen, which is separated from the living room with a half-wall in between. It’s enough for Dave to see Karkat’s head and horns over it, but not the rest of his face. After a moment of silence and caution for John’s rest, Dave follows Karkat into the kitchen and leans against the wall.
“Oh, wow, doing dishes. So domestic of you,” Dave breathes out, almost flinching when Karkat immediately wheels around.
“You can sit down on the couch and watch the tv like a normal person, not backseat drive my goddamn fucking chores.”
He snickers to that, but couldn’t shake the sound of exhaustion emanating from Karkat’s voice. It’s worn out, and it’s especially transparent how much more defeated he is when he doesn’t even wait for a reply; just turns back around and turns the sink back on.
Damn, this household is under a lot of fire.
Dave dismisses himself quietly and sits down in an armchair, which diagonally faces the couch where Egbert currently snores. Whatever mission Terezi is embarking on, it sure is becoming a weight that collapsed on Karkat and John. From all of his time knowing her, he knew she would never intend to inflict a burden on anyone but herself. If anything, she is the person to take that stress away from everyone else and deal with it tenfold if she could, a lot alike to what she thinks she’s doing now. Taking it upon herself to search for Vriska so no one else has to, or, for lack of better phrasing… Searching in case no one else bothered to.
Dave never really considered the weight of it until today, only because the situation was so beyond his reach that only John could really pull him into this. Dave pulls his phone from his pocket and checks the time. It’s 11:54pm. A lot later than what John said she usually came home by.
Dave pulls out his phone, something turning in his gut that feels like apprehension and warning.
TG: hey just checking in
TG: got like an eta or uh
TG: do you even really know how to measure space to earth distance
TG: shit i mean youve been doing this for a few weeks now so i guess you do
TG: anyway john is here with karkat and i dont really know what im doing here but im here
TG: hope youre safe
He doesn’t really wait for a response, doesn’t even try to expect one. Something about texting and flying being considerably dangerous, or at least he thinks it would be. He hoped maybe even just the sound of his messaging would be a gentle reminder for her return. But then his phone rings out, just as he’s putting it back in his pocket. He immediately turns on the screen to a display of teal texts.
GC: Y34H 1M 4LMOST B4CK
GC: DONT WORRY 1 TOLD TH3M 1D B3 L4T3
GC: T3LL TH3M BOTH TO GO TO B3D PL34S3
TG: oh yeah john is super passed out so thats not really a concern
TG: karkat is being like a super cute housewife right now just
TG: doing dishes waiting for his husband to come home and shit
GC: WH4T
GC: WHY 4R3 YOU C4LL1NG H1M 4 CUT3 HOUS3W1F3 R1GHT NOW
GC: 4M 1 TH3 HUSB4ND
TG: yeah you locked down a real stable life
TG: i bet he even tucked the kids in and shit
TG: the kids being john
GC: YOUR3 K1ND OF P1SS1NG M3 OFF 4ND 1 H4V3 NO ID34 WHY
TG: sorry i dont know words are happening its late as hell
TG: so back to the eta thing
TG: yeah im just kinda worried about egbert so how long you think
There’s no response after that. Guess John was right, she responds fairly quick and consistently up until she decides your questions are way too dumb to answer. At least, that’s what Dave feels like until the front door flies open and Terezi is dragging herself in with a tired snarl. She turns in Dave’s direction, lets out a really sharp sound of sniffing, just before hauling herself up the stairs in silence.
Dave furrows his eyebrows and turns to the kitchen in confusion, where Karkat’s dumbass is so zoned out that he didn’t even hear her come in, and John is still deep asleep.
“Uh, cool,” he mumbles to himself.
He decides not to alert anyone and follows her up the stairs. It’s especially hard to go up when it’s dark, paired with the shades over it, but he shrugs it off since Terezi’s ascending just fine and is completely unseeing.
“Why are you following me?” He hears above him, and he looks up from straining at the stairs. She’s staring down at him, blocking the segue from stair to hallway, so he stops where he is and just stares up at her awkwardly.
“Because I’m fuckin’ worried about this Vriska thing going on.”
“That has nothing to do with you,” she tosses back almost immediately.
He sucks in a breath through his teeth. Didn’t really rehearse how he was gonna mosey in on this delicate situation.
“I could help,” he tries.
“No thanks, everyone’s offered that. Go home.”
Holy shit is she dismissive and short in response. She starts to turn around but Dave moves quickly to clear his throat and ascend a couple more steps.
“Actually, I’m putting my time powers on the table.”
She stops in her tracks and only turns her head, just enough to look like she’s peering over her shoulder.
“What?”
“Yeah, I uhh…”
“You’re gonna have to be more specific, Dave, because this sounds like you’re trying to sell me a time problem when I’m dealing with a space one.”
He takes her engagement as a chance to ascend a couple more steps to catch up to her. “That’s fair, I’m not here to tell you to rewind the universe until she trips over your coordinates and shit, but not everything disappears. Shit leaves residue. Let’s look for it.”
“I’ve been checking for that! That’s what this whole month has been, Dave!”
He keeps going as if he’s not even registering her voice, half mumbling and just improvising his sentences halfway through. “I just don’t think the idea of Vriska vanishing without a mark is like her. She’s so… Vriska, dude. She doesn’t fucking leave without making a show out of it.”
“Oh my God I know, I know her better than you, so what’s your point?”
His breath breaks in frustration, but he tries again with more patience. “I know, but, fuck… Look, I’m just doing this right now because you’ve gone twenty days of going MIA and brushing everyone off, and this is gonna sound like me admitting I don’t know what the hell I’m doing, which I don’t, but–”
“Shut up, shut up,” she says frantically, fully facing him now.
“Uh, fuck you too?”
“No, stop talking because Karkat is coming!”
“Oh,” he says, feeling the wrath of what it’s like to immediately regret something. He doesn’t have enough time to, though, because Karkat’s stomping behind him up the stairs and mumbling something to himself, unsurprising to either of them.
He freezes up when he locks eyes with Dave and Terezi.
“Um, okay. Let’s do a game of twenty questions except I get all of them,” he starts with a cock of his brow. “First one, what the fuck. Second, what the fuck, get out of my upstairs area? Notice the question mark sound I just made, it’s still a fucking question. Third of all, Terezi, what the hell are you doing sneaking home like a goddamn truant teenager and why in ALL of hell am I lecturing you like I’m your fucking guardian?”
“Are you done with your tangent? Did you remember to breathe after that?” Dave shoots back. "I'm pretty sure you used all possible swears and were about to invent a new one, dude."
“You get no fucking questions for me, Strider,” he barks back before glaring at Terezi. “You, Pyrope. Talk to me. I really missed you and I was going insane and John was crashing the hell out which is when you KNOW–”
“I’m sorry, okay!” She snaps, pitch so high that she has to step back and readjust herself. She clears her throat. “I just found a meteor with some fragments of a red chest. Not a big deal. I just wanted to look a little closer and I lost track of time.”
“You say that every night, except you’re usually home on time. I mean, John fell asleep and I usually can’t get that guy down for the life of me!”
“Can I just go to the bathroom in peace or is a third guy gonna come and yell at me for absolutely no reason?”
Karkat shrinks down a little, and Dave steps back as if it’ll help him avoid being caught in the crossfire.
“Shit. I’m sorry. Look, Terezi, I think you need to take a break from this, I–”
“I’m fine, Karkat,” she drawls. “I’m making progress! It’s only been a month. I’m a very patient person no matter how cold the case.”
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GC: 1M 4BSOLUT3LY NOT M4K1NG PROGR3SS
GC: SO Y3S, 1 WOULD LIK3 YOUR H3LP, D4V3
GC: 3V3N 1F 1T DO3SNT WORK 4ND ULT1M4T3LY M4K3S M3 F33L STUP1D
GC: 4T L34ST 1T M34NS 1 TR13D SOM3TH1NG N3W