Chapter Text
The first sign that something was amiss, was when the young prince woke suddenly in the middle of the night and started screaming. At slightly more than a year old, he could walk and say a few words, but they couldn't extract much more than "It hurts" from him. He kept motioning to his hand, and neither the wet-nurses or the head lady in waiting could sooth him. By the next morning, many of the ladies had gone through the night without sleep. Lady Anshi, Gaoshun, and Suiren convened in the princes room, after the other ladies were excused.
"No matter how many times we checked, there was nothing physically wrong with him. The prince is at such a tender age that he can't explain what's troubling him," Gaoshun surmised.
Lady Anshi was sat next to the sleeping prince, gently brushing his cheek. "I don't want this to happen again."
Suiren hummed, "My lady, there is a chance we already know what the cause of this was."
Lady Anshi looked up with a soft expression, "Yes, I wondered the same. But, could it not have been some night terror?"
"While not impossible, the young prince insisted that he was in pain and wasn't displaying any signs of delirium. If nothing else, the prince is likely too young to have such nightmares," Suiren explain.
Lady Anshi looked down at the sleeping prince mournfully. She had never known her soulmate, and she likely never would. She could only pray had forgiven her. The pain of childbirth, the paranoia, the threats on her life, the breech that allowed her son to be born. She didn't know if receiving a painkiller had any bearing on the soulmate.
"If it is a soulmate, I pray they have a happy life, for both their sake's."
A soulmate. It's said that everyone had one. Every soul had it's pair. Some claimed they could feel the sensations of their soulmates body. Some claimed they could hear what their soulmate could. Even more fanciful stories described seeing through a soulmate's eyes during a trance state. For a normal person, everyday life was stimulating enough to drown out these sensations, leaving only the most vibrant and colourful emotions to break through.
In almost all cases, pain.
How soulmates were linked was unknown. Some claimed it mattered which zodiac you were born under, or which water you first drank from. Soulmates rarely appeared more than a few miles apart, but there was no guarantee that they'd be the same age. They could be men or women, and soulmates could be of the same sex. Soulmates were also not guaranteed to fall in love, it simply meant that their destinies were intertwined.
And yet, many of the most legendary romances in popular culture were soulmate pairs.
He was crying. He was still a child, and though he tried to put on a brave face, sometimes he couldn't help it. It was happening again, his soulmate was hurting. Suiren, his mother, and Lady Ah-Duo had worked together to explain it to him. There was a special someone out there was destined to be a best friend for him! Someone he could trust with his life. In exchange, whenever that soulmate was hurting, he would be hurt too. His soulmate lived a troubled life, it seemed. They were regularly sick, causing the young prince's stomach to sting. And every now again there would be some sort of snapping or burning sensation on his left forearm. Always the left arm. His brother always had a great look of sympathy for him.
"Zui" he's say in a fond tone, "-when I ascend the throne, I'll do everything I can for your soulmate. Whoever they are suffers more than they deserve. In turn, you have to be strong for them, and for all of us."
"I know I promised him, but I'm not sure how to go about it. Gaoshun and I discussed some sort of propaganda literature to sway public perception, but the more we considered it, the less we liked the idea" Yoh explained, as Ah-Duo poured him a drink.
She took a sip before he did, as always. "It's not as simple as making some decree, I suppose."
"I thought about that, but Gaoshun talked me out of it. A father and mother have the right to raise their children how they see fit, and while clearly there is a line where punishment becomes sadism, I'd be fighting uphill with people who won't understand the difference."
"Maybe they shouldn't be hitting small children to begin with." She said, with a huff.
"And maybe a lord shouldn't be able to kill common people dead at their whim. Even an emperor is just one man when facing centuries of years of tradition. Still, if people knew how much this situation frustrated the likes of you and me, they wouldn't dare do it."
Ah-Duo was half way to bring her cup to her lips, then stopped. "Maybe.."
Yoh looked to her with great enthusiasm. "Yes?"
"There's something that might help, and it would spread faster than any law or missive."
"Yes, what?"
She grinned.
A tall tale began spreading throughout the lands of Li.
It was said, the young moon prince was tormented by the abuse heaped upon his soulmate, and though a child, he'd promised terrible vengeance upon the family responsible. The rumour blossomed into a folk story, conjuring romantic images of beautiful princes scouring rural villages for their heart and soul, and striking down the foolish.
For young children, it was a cautionary tale, do not bully others, settle your differences respectfully. For small-minded parents, it warned them that powerful men would know the abuse heaped on their mate. It was nothing new, such stories were always popular, but knowing that the moon prince was connected to them, brought a new fire to the telling. Helping the story was that the moon prince was a child and hadn't been engaged yet.
The young prince spent all morning struggling through the rehearsal of the rites. Master Kounen, an old face in the palace, knew that the young prince could follow through, and yet he was hesitating. He asked for a private word with the young royal.
"Master Kounen, I'm worried I'll make a mistake. My soulmate, they get hurt a lot."
"Aah" the master said. The prince was too quickly becoming a man. Kounen thought of his own daughter, all too quickly lost to him. "Your highness is very kind."
"But what should I do!" The prince exclaimed. "I can't possibly make a mistake in the middle of a ceremony."
"You cannot, and you will not, your Highness." he said, in a fond tone only true fathers could master. "I happen to know a technique that could be of service, your Highness."
"What kind of technique?" asked the prince, eager and teary-eyed.
"It's an ancient technique that was first taught by the soulmates of soldiers. You wash your mind, as you do your body, then concentrate in a specific way, forcing out all sensation." Master Kounen then explained in more specific detail how one might do it.
"Why did no one tell me this? It's not because I'm too young, is it?"
"No, your highness, but it is harder for children to do it. Once one grows, and had endured pain, it's easier to chose not to feel anything. But, the less you choose to feel, the less you will be able to feel. I told you it came from Soldier's soulmates, men and women who used the technique often fell out of love with their families, lovers and children. I'm sure his majesty the emperor would loathe it if his prince-brother grew up unable to love."
Young Zuigetsu looked afraid, Kounen could only guess why. He assured the Prince, "Do it when you are most in need, and only as a last resort. It will be tempting, when times are tough, but being sensitive to emotion and pain is not a weakness. It is, perhaps, a sword with two edges."
"A double-edged sword?"
Kounen smiled "Very good, your highness, I knew I wasn't remembering it properly." The Prince smiled, the little victory helping his mood.
Rehearsal continued, and after a couple of attempts the Moon Prince successfully completed the rite. He did so with a sigh, and a certain solemnity. Kounen wondered many times had he emptied his mind and numbed himself. How often he needed to push down the rising waves of grief. All his favourite meals were now ash in his throat. He took several deep breathes, and whispered to the prince.
"You may not feel up to it today, but eat well and go to bed early, and be proud that you've moved forward."
The Prince nodded, eyes dark. "Thank you, Master Kounen."
The young prince, taking the name Jinshi and masquerading as a eunuch, had taken a senior role in managing the rear palace. Being so high up in the ranks, and uniquely beautiful, men and women alike were willing to foist their unwanted affection upon him. He was garnering a new silky reputation compared to the moon prince. People thought of the Moon Prince as this sickly and wrathful creature who was tormented by his soulmate's suffering. He tried to console himself, knowing that kids in the empire likely had more peace-of-mind because of it.
It made no difference, however.
His soulmate regularly suffered.
Stomach pains and burning sensations. Also, spells of intoxication, perhaps even drug abuse? Getting punched super hard in the stomach and having to vomit (that had been particularly awful). There was one occasion where his mouth started feeling strange, and it didn't stop until his tongue went numb. This was all on top of the comparably normal pain of the monthly visitor. His mother had told him that Ah-Duo and The Emperor had often debated whether his soulmate was a boy or girl, and Ah-Duo won. The girl was probably close to his age.
Every now and again, he had strange dreams. Fields of strange plants. Dark and heady rooms full of incense. Men and women in various stages of stupor. An arm wrapped in bandages. The sound of a grinding. The smell of medicine. It only ever came in flashes, and nothing about the people he saw were that distinct. He'd try to recall every detail, and kept a (very secret) journal on his soulmate under his pillow.
He wondered what she would think of him. Most of the women in the palace were smitten by his face alone. All he'd have to do is draw his soulmate in close with his best smile, and then warm her up to his true self. Then, once she was right where he wanted her, he could found out what awful bastard had been abusing her all his life.
Maybe the fantastic tales of the vengeful moon prince were getting to his head.
Something was off. His soulmate was acting differently. The last thing he was certain he'd felt from his soulmate was a mysterious pinching around his wrists, which he felt for a day. Then, nothing. No burning, no snapping, no getting punched in the belly, no sickness. Her monthly visitor came and went. She clearly wasn't being hurt as much anymore, why so?
If she was about his age, or a year either way, she'd be around the age a common girl would get married. There was a chance she had escaped whatever abuse she'd been dealing with all her life. But, no. Surely his soulmate would at least try and find him? Sure, he'd never found her either, but if their fates were intertwined he was hoping he'd at least run into her by now. Maybe staying is the palace had been a mistake.
No, he banished the thought. If he was going to share a life with anyone, he wanted it to be a life worth living.
Tentatively, he mentioned this change in behaviour to Suiren, who was quite delighted by it. When she'd asked if there any clues, he wasn't sure what to say. He promised to tell her if he had any clues, he trusted her not to blab. Days turned into weeks, then months. No more nagging pains at all. He tried to quell the rising bile in his throat.
How could such a good thing make him anxious?
There was never an end to the paperwork. He needed to focus, and get Master Guen to do something productive on behalf on his nephew and niece. Not only were they sick, but so was Wise Consort Li-hua. His brother had already lost three children, a fourth or fifth would be too much for the nation to stomach. But, he was at an impasse. Only men could be doctors, and only eunuchs were allowed into the rear palace. They couldn't just train more eunuchs to do it because there were no new eunuchs being made, and the trying to train the current eunuchs to act as even simple medics was going nowhere. It was all starting to feel hopeless.
He got a tap on the shoulder from Gaoshun. "There's been a disturbance involving the Wise Consort and Precious Consort."
He sighed, and set down the correspondences he's been reading. A large crowd had formed, and the two consorts could be heard bickering (well, more that Li-hua was hurling abuse. He'd never seen her so distraught). A servant girl was squeezing out of the crowd with her head down, too lost in thought to have noticed him.
"If only I had something to write with."
It took him a second too long to realise something was off. He swung around on his back foot, but couldn't see the girl anywhere. He knew well enough that literacy was rare among the servants. Most couldn't read even simple characters, so all the laundry baskets had coloured emblems along with their numbers. A literate servant girl could readily become a lady-in-waiting, even a low-ranked concubine.
What had this girl wanted to write?
Who was she planning to tell?
There was always the chance that spies were blending into the servant staff, so keeping the eunuchs and the matron attentive was a regular effort. Still, it would have to wait. He had a rough idea of this girl's appearance if nothing else. Now, back to the consorts.
The atmosphere in the rear-palace was abominable after the passing of the young prince. Black wrist straps abounded. The Matron told him that the girls were more languid with their meat ration curtailed, but rules were rules. Mourning was strictly enforced. But in this time of gloom, a ray of hope was emerging. The young princess was making a recovery, and the Emperor was visiting the Precious Consort often to dote on his surviving daughter.
When it seemed that the girl was past her illness, Jinshi broached the topic. "I must ask, did you change something critical about the princess' care?"
Gyokuyou had a sad look about her. "Actually, master Jinshi, I was hoping you could find the answer for me." She gave a signal to Hongniang, who returned with a potted branch of a rhododendron. She then slipped something into the consort's hand.
"After my encounter with Lady Li-hua, the one you were called out to resolve, we found this flower left on a windowsill, and this was tied to it."
At this point it had been weeks ago, but he did remember it. He accepted the cloth from the consort and found it was jagged on both sides. Down the centre was a roughly written message The white makeup powder is poison, don't let the baby touch it. He didn't know what to make of it. He pressed the cloth to his nose. Grass, crushed in lieu of ink. He looked up again, and remembered, In the language of flowers Rhododendrons inferred warning.
"Ignorance is truly a sin. I should have been more aware of what my child was being fed."
He hummed, "The doctor wouldn't have used such a method to warn you, neither was he likely to have been struck by some errant inspiration."
He tapped the table pensively, "who on earth would have done this." or rather, who could have done this.
"I would like you find that out for me. If possible I'd like to thank them in person."
Master Jinshi put his mind to it. His suspect was likely a serving girl, who could read and write, was adaptive, educated, and had either seen or heard enough about the situation to give advice. Unsolicited advice. If another concubine, or a lady-in-waiting, had written to the consorts with helpful advice, he wasn't sure how seriously anyone besides him would take it. A servant girl would have had no hope. It was simply Gyoukuyou's nature that she accepted such a warning.
That was of course, if the intention was entirely pure. He considered again the prospect of a spy. If a spy had snuck in as a servant, and also had special knowledge of poison, they could be part of a murderous conspiracy. He shook his head, A good spy wouldn't risk themselves for the sake of an outsider.
He could also rule out some manner of social climber, his suspect was trying not to be noticed. Gyokuyou confirmed that they hadn't seen the messenger. Plus, a social climber would focus on the Emperor's son exclusively.
Motivations aside, he was certain where he was going to find this girl. With the help of the matron he'd matched the strip of cloth to the uniforms of the wardrobe service. Hardy, and water resistant. The Matron confirmed that girls were given one uniform, and if it was to be replaced it came out of their wages, so most girls would just fix their own tears.
Now he just needed to look into all the girls who were literate, and find the right girl.
How. How were none of these girls the one he was looking for. Literate they were, but no other boxes were ticked. His theory about a spy was starting to nag him again. Why else would a servant girl hide her literacy.
Wait, he had an idea.
You with the freckles, stay there.
He held up the note. And sure enough there was a reaction, just the one. There it is. A short girl with freckles who was now looking very guilty. He dismissed all the other girls, and his target realised a moment too late how she had been caught. By the time she'd turned away, he was able to clamp a hand on her shoulder.
"Now now, miss. I told you to stay." He chided.
He gave her a golden smile. He figured she'd need some soothing. "Keep quiet and follow me," he said, expecting her to blush. Instead, she scowled at him, and brushed his hand off her shoulder as if he were a mosquito. She even brushed herself down like he'd somehow dirtied her.
Huh?
Maomao was the girl's name. Seventeen. Unmarried. Scant details of her home and family, but three men were listed as her brothers. If the girl was the culprit, it seemed odd that she could be so capable, and yet so short of opportunity. And it didn't explain why she had feigned illiteracy.
She was was rather plain looking with her severely freckled face, but that couldn't possibly have been a deciding factor. She looked younger, but was quite old for a washerwoman who wasn't even half a year into her contract. The serving girls could be hired as young as thirteen, meaning they'd return home with some experience, and enough money to comfortably shop around for a husband. Some got hired by a rich man, or woman. Some even became low-ranked consorts.
Maomao refused to own up to being the messenger, even when Lady Gyokuyou offered her thanks. Being a common girl, she recognised the significance of such praise, but was still adamant that she couldn't take credit. So, Jinshi laid out all the clues. Matching the cloth strip to the wardrobe service uniform, and making an implicit threat that he could just check her skirt. It got a flinch out of her.
Just for a second, he spotted a bandage on her left forearm.
Backed into a corner, she confessed. "I deduced the cause of the illness" she said, her tone becoming noticeably authoritative. "It was the white makeup powder. In the brothels where I grew up, many courtesans received it as gifts, and used it daily. No matter how many times they were warned, they persisted in using it. They withered over time, losing their minds and bodies, until they were too weak to eat. They traded the fullness of their lives for a fleeting beauty."
He could read no dishonesty, no disdain. There was a regret in her voice that could only be lived. Finally, she added "Before this, I was an apothecary. I am familiar with poisons."
Gyokuyou in turn, explained that it was her wet-nurse that had used the powder, unknowingly poisoning the princess. The nurse had been dismissed with compensation once the warning came to light. It all stung. His nephew, and perhaps his brothers other children, would have been saved if just for one knowledgeable person who spoke up in time. He could only imagine Li-hua's sorrow.
Lady Gyokuyou hired the apothecary girl on the spot. Jinshi knew she would. The Precious consort could be magnanimous and compassionate, but was also razor sharp. Jinshi saw a kindred spirit in her, all those years ago when she entered the rear palace.
Now, what to do with such a capable girl? She had all the makings of spy, even if she wasn't one. She had proven deceptive, and cunning, though it was possible to catch her off guard. He needed to make sure she wasn't used against him. After dismissing her, he suggested the concubine could best use the girl in one particular role. The topic made the consort pale, but she ultimately agreed to it.
And so, the Apothecary would serve as poison taster for the precious consort. Gaoshun had been wary but agreed with his plan. Besides, a little seduction was sure to go a long way. He made sure to greet her as she was moving out of the washer-women's barracks with her meagre possessions.
They brought the girl into the parlour, and explained her new role. The consort, her ladies, and Gaoshun were all present. All waiting for the Apothecary girl's reaction.
She was.
Excited.
She nearly lost her composure over it.
Jinshi explained what had happened to the previous tasters, but the apothecary was unflappable. She began her work in a very diligent manner, observing, sniffing, and then tasting the food. Her technique was refined and elegant. Being a food-taster is tantamount to being a scapegoat, but this girl was practicing it like an art form. What's more, she was smiling, even giggling to herself. Lost in her own world.
"This meal is free of poison and safe to eat" she declared, her voice even. The ladies-in-waiting let out a collective sigh. He glanced over to Gyokuyou, who seemed to mirror his thoughts.
There was no end of harassment Jinshi was forced to deal with, but often the women in the palace were indirect about it. The men however, were keen to catch him away from Gaoshun, knock on his office door, or have gifts sent with their names attached. This latest headache had sent him a box with steaming hot baozhi. He was about to pass them off to Suiren so she could destroy them. Then he had an idea.
He brought them to the Jade Pavilion, and asked the consort if he could borrow her food taster. He was already certain he knew what was in them, and he was curious how she would react. When the girl appeared, she bowed to her consort, "You asked for me, Lady Gyokuyou."
The consort smiled, "Actually, he did,"
Jinshi gave her the girl his best smile.
She glowered at him, like he was a wad of bird shit. Her contempt, he felt his heart start racing. Had anyone ever looked at him like that before? He was confused, "why won't this work on her?" he muttered. he gave the trio of ladies standing to the side the same smile, and they were all cooing and blushing. Lady Gyokuyou and Hongniang were looking between them curiously.
He offered the Baozhi to the apothecary, who pulled one apart and sniffed. Aphrodisiacs. She'd figured it out in seconds. She wasn't just confident in her poison tasting but also with stimulants. Without really thinking about it, he poked her brain about a recent report of poisoning by an armed detachment. He really shouldn't have brought this up in polite company, but it was too late now.
The apothecary offered a theory, explaining in not so many words that the poisoning could have come from the foraged tinder and fire-wood. It had been the kind of answer he wouldn't have thought of, and he didn't know if it was true, but it would be a good excuse not to wipe a whole village off the map. Now in far too much of a good mood, He propositioned the apothecary to make him an aphrodisiac.
Her eyes were aflutter. She shivered with excitement. She brought her hand up to her lips and whimpered a little.
What was wrong with this girl.
He had to know.
The apothecary girl did as she promised. A top of the range aphrodisiac. And thanks to the carelessness of the ladies-in-waiting they knew it worked. The Apothecary flipped up Ailin's skirt to confirm that she hadn't "gone all the way" which got her a smack on the back of the head. Hongniang's smack must have been painful because Jinshi's head felt sore just watching her hit the girl.
Collected again in the parlour, they looked to the curious platter where three square pieces had been removed. "So, these are the Aphrodisiacs?" Lady Gyokuyou asked.
"No," she explained "these are." She unwrapped and presented a small bundle with small dark brown pieces.
"Then, what are these for?" he asked.
"A midnight snack."
He felt his pulse quicken, imagining the apothecary girl listless and laid out in bed, the same way those ladies had been. "If you're used to stimulants, these won't have much affect on you," she added in a matter-of-fact way.
He looked down at the chocolate covered pieces, and a strange memory came into his mind. He remembered being small, and having this fuzzy and light feeling which invaded his head. He wondered If his soulmate had tried this sort of thing before. Though, with how pricey cacao was, maybe his soulmate wasn't a common girl after all. A rich merchant's daughter, maybe.
Thoughtlessly, he reached out, grabbing one of the chocolate pieces, "maybe I could try one then?"
"Don't you dare!" Gaoshun and Hongniang cried out at the same time. Lady Gyokuyou started laughing.
He put it back down, "I was only joking." He glanced at the apothecary, hoping for a blush on her part. She just scowled at him.
He couldn't resist one last chance to mess with her. He brushed her hair off her shoulder, whispered into her ear, his own breath on the nape of her neck. He felt himself flush, never mind the apothecary girl. And when he had her distracted, he slipped one of the chocolate covered pieces into his mouth. He felt his heart racing, but he kept his easy smile. He was Jinshi the eunuch, he needed to focus.
Gaoshun was looking at him strangely. No, not strangely, Jinshi was able to guess. Something about the Apothecary girl was getting under his skin. The one girl outside his family that didn't lose her reason around him was making him act so strange. All his usual tricks made him blush more than her. He was acting, performing a part, why did it feel so strange now?
Was he getting self-conscious?
As he reached his bedroom, he realised too late that his thoughts weren't his own. That girl had said stimulants didn't really affect her, something like that. He had to be a lot heavier than her, so why did it feel like there was no blood in his head. He felt heavy and flushed. He sat down on his bed, and the next thing he knew he was lying down on it, dawn light streaming in. He checked the front of his robes, they were stained. He felt mortified.
He wondered if his soulmate would notice.
A week on from her hiring, the new girl in the Jade Pavilion had won over her fellow ladies with her cool attitude and her kindness. For once, meal times weren't so full of dread. She'd been allowed do other chores for the pavilion like cleaning and laundry once they were sure she wouldn't keel over. In turn he'd use his usual visits to pick her brain about things. The strange behaviour of concubine Fuyou primarily.
As Fuyou said goodbye to the palace, and started a life with the man she almost certainly loved, he reflected. The Apothecary had hid something, and gotten angry when he tried to prod the truth out of her. The girl had kept quiet. If she was a schemer or a social climber, she would have spoken up. If she had spoken up, Jinshi might have been forced to intervene, stopping the plot. But he didn't. and now Fuyuo had gotten her wish.
She wasn't selfless, she certainly wasn't without scruples, but she had a deep compassion for others, and it motivated her when duty called. To think, if she'd had her way, she'd be a washerwomen even now. Though, if she hadn't been caught, she might have done something else in order to save someone. Maybe it was always a matter of time.
Maomao slapped Li-Hua's lady-in-waiting so hard that he flinched. It made his own hand sore. Effortlessly, she admonished the ladies, and took command of them. Jinshi left the crystal pavilion with the meddlesome maid who hid the poisonous powder. His right palm still felt sore.
Sore?
He's seen the apothecary girl slap someone, but it hurt him. Jinshi considered himself quite empathetic, he's endured enough pain to feel people's suffering like his own, but there was only one reason why seeing someone get hit in the face would hurt him. That dreadful word.
He was certainly not soulmates with Li-hua's maid.
Could his soulmate be..?
He shook his head. He had devoured every book and written about soulmates. He was sure he knew almost everything there was to know about them. Being a soulmate was a special bond, and the girl had practically no interest in him. None that she showed at least. The most likely answer was that Maomao already knew who her soulmate was, and was not interested in telling him.
Not that he minded, he enjoyed having such a novel woman around. A man of status being friends with a woman his age was unusual, even among siblings. The unfair sex did most of the mischief, and the fair sex that got most of the blame. He almost wishes she worked directly for him.
The thought of coming back home and seeing her there made him feel strange.
What was she doing to him?
The garden party had arrived, and Jinshi was on edge. Someone was sending coded messages using coloured fires, but they had no witnesses, and no one among the eununchs had identified someone with burns. It was almost assured that someone was up to no good, and he just had to hope no one got hurt. Still, a good smile is golden, and he had to make his check in with all of the high ranking consorts.
Ah-duo had bantered and teased him, but nothing that couldn't be chocked up to the whims of an older woman. Lady Li-hua looked radiant. Maomao's treatments and the after-glow of the Emperors visits made her look brighter than she ever had before. Lady Lishu was cheery, though for some reason she'd chosen quite an ostentatious dress. Had she forgotten that the Precious consort was going to be attending?
Finally, he made his way over to said consort's gazebo. He could see the colours the ladies-in-waiting were sporting. Pink and purple, with green trim and blue sashes. He could only imagine how the ladies had dolled up their newest addition. Soon, he caught sight of lady Gyokuyou.
"Greetings, Consort Gyokuyou."
"Oh, greetings" she replied. There's was a fondness to her smile that felt familial.
"My lady, you look wonderful in crimson. You have a most radiant mystique, it must stem from your jade eyes."
"Thank you." She smiled gently, without a hint of a blush.
They had a quiet and mutual admiration, more akin to brother and sister. He had introduced her to emperor, allowing her to ascend despite the stigma placed upon a woman from I-Sei. His own mother had suffered due to her low status, with Suiren her only protection from the worst of the nation's jealousies. Jinshi was adamant that he going to protect Gyokuyou from that, even if she never became Empress consort.
He lifted his eyes, and spied a cot, and the back of a very familiar Lady-in-waiting. He skipped over, "Now to check in on the princess!" He could imagine it now, she would turn around, all bashful and feminine and-
Oh.
The lady before him was-
She-
If Gyokuyou's jade eyes had lent her mystique, then the blue eyes of the lady before him were utterly mesmerising. He'd been right that they'd dressed her up and painted her face, but it gave her cool and patient demeanour an enchanting aura.
"Good morning, Master Jinshi."
Oh.
It was really her
He noticed too late that he was getting lost, and jolted back awake after a second too many.
"Oh! It's you, Apothecary," his cheeks were burning. "Are you wearing makeup? Your freckles are gone."
"No, I removed my makeup, that's why my freckles are gone."
"You covered them up?"
"No, I removed them."
"That doesn't make any sense."
She sighed, and made that face she always does when she was choosing her words. "Makeup is not only for making a face more beautiful, it can also be used to make a face less attractive. Every time you've seen me up to now, I was using makeup for that purpose."
She might as well have told him water could flow backwards. He had never heard of such a practice. It wasn't illogical, but why would a woman ever do that? So much of a woman's reputation was tied to her appearance, and here the Apothecary was making herself less desirable on purpose.
"Why would you do that?"
Then she showed him a new face. Contemplative, yet weary. She looked.. sad. She avoided his gaze. "Do you really want to know?"
He must have told her with his silence, or maybe it was written on his face.
"It was to prevent being dragged into a dark alley."
Her words were measured, her tone even, and yet in one breath she had filled him a cloying sense of dread.
"I grew up in the pleasure district, but many men were left unsatiated. Destitute, dangerous, diseased, those denied what they wanted often took it for themselves. But, a scrawny freckled girl is rarely one of their targets."
Men in dark alleys were something everyone could imagine, and talk was cheap. But, knowing that someone he knew, that he trusted, had been in real danger from those men made him feel cold. He felt his stomach drop. The world in his peripheral vision was obliterated, leaving only the apothecary girl.
"Were you ever targeted?"
"Some tried, but in the end I got kidnapped. It was daytime and my makeup had faded, they must have thought I would fetch close to market price. That's how I ended up in the palace."
She spoke of herself so cruelly. Her cool temperament couldn't disguise the quiet contempt she held for kidnappers. Jinshi looked away, guilt-eaten. She'd never chosen this. She'd probably had enough of men for a lifetime. "I'm sorry. If only we had policed them better."
"I don't really care. Poor families sell off their children all the time, there's no way for a buyer to prove where those children came from."
His chest tightened. "Doesn't that make you angry?" he said, while doing his best not to scream.
And in her very typical way, soothing and authoritative, she looked to him. "Of course it does, but it's not your fault, Master Jinshi."
She was right, it wasn't the fault of the Master Jinshi. If she had known who she was really speaking to, would she have had the same venom in her words that was threatening to climb out of his throat.
"I'm sorry," he managed to say. This girl, who burnt herself up for others, had all along been a small star in a sunless world. A common girl with no power, who had nothing but herself to rely upon when faced with danger. He couldn't just walk away. He had to do something.
No, he needed to calm down. The garden party was drawing close. His eyes fell upon the gold neckband she was wearing. Here, it symbolised Gyokuyou's favour, it would protect her here. Yes, some small sign of favour could make the difference. He reached up and withdrew the silver hairstick. and pushed it into her her hair. He felt a dull pinch and scraping on his own head in turn.
Oh
She swatted his hand "that hurt".
"Sorry. It's yours."
He fought for the smallest semblance of composure, to force the mask back on. He turned, "I'll see you at the garden party." Then he walked off. Gaoshun fell in behind him.
Gaoshun was looking at the back of his head with great apprehension. It was the face he made when he was going to give him a stern warning in private. Sometimes this man made Jinshi feel like a child. Maybe Suiren was simply better at pretending.
"Master Jinshi."
There it was. "Yes, Gaoshun?"
"I find the need to question your actions."
Jinshi lifted his head, and pursed his lips. "You think I'm picking favourites, being overly affectionate with a subordinate. As if I don't have an excellent advisor in you to warn me." He tried not to pout, Jinshi the Eunuch didn't pout. "If anything, it would be stranger if I didn't show her my favour after all her hard work."
Gaoshun resisted the impulse to defend his master's ego, as he had done so often before. "It's the opposite."
He turned, looking the older man in the eye. Gaoshun sighed, "Master Jinshi, you've long been a sensitive one, and you've likely read every bound-book on the topic. It's for that reason, I believe, that you've distracted yourself from the obvious."
"The obvious?!"
"Master Jinshi, I believe Xiaomao is your soulmate."
Whatever thoughts were in Jinshi's head, whatever plans or obligations he was keeping in the back of his mind, all of those thoughts had vanished like smoke. "Wh-Why would you even suggest that?"
"I'll be as direct as possible, so I hope you'll forgive my impropriety." said Gaoshun, not waiting for his master to excuse him. "Yourself and Xiaomao, in spite of her reservations and your childishness, have a natural affinity. She is incredibly careful and capable, and uses her gifts to educate herself and to protect others. She could not be a more perfect ally for you, Master Jinshi."
Gaoshun took a deep breath, "In addition, I know you hold very romantic views of love, and have reserved your true affections for your prospective wife. That was, until Xiaomao entered the scene. Now you can barely constrain your true self. That is all."
"That's all?" he exclaimed. Whatever emotion he should have been feeling in this moment, he simply felt mortified and angry. "There are far better ways to excuse my behaviour, whether they flatter me or not!"
Gaoshun closed his eyes and pressed an index finger to his own cheek, which made Jinshi feel his own cheeks and notice the were burning.
"I do apologise, Master Jinshi, but if she isn't your soulmate, then you need to examine why she makes you react in such a manner."
"The apothecary doesn't have the slightest interest in romance! I just-"
"Xiaomao has been fighting her own battles, she proved as much today. Beneath that duty and care is a woman who has learned to fight alone."
Jinshi lost his words, his mouth falling open. Gaoshun lifted his head, looking in the direction of the Garden party. "If you are returning to change, Master Jinshi, I will part with you at this point." Gaoshun then bowed, and walked away. Stupefied and lame, Jinshi walked off, without a word to his thoughts except one.
Soulmates.
"Suiren, I've arrived."
"Welcome, young master. Let me help you change."
They moved into the private room, and he began undressing. He would retain the underclothes, and change into his princely regalia. He looked down at the pocket he had asked the apothecary girl to sow into his clothes. He remembered how impressed Suiren was with the innovation. He put his hand in and took the much colder stone out, and Suiren placed a new one in it's stead.
Maomao.
"Suiren, please confess. Have I been acting differently these last few months?"
Her expression didn't change in the slightest, "Did Gaoshun say something to you? The spoilsport."
He gritted his teeth. "Do I take that as a yes?"
"I admit, young master, that after you reported a noticeable shift in your soulmate's activity, I was more keenly watching your behaviour. Just as I was wondered if nothing would come of all this, you came home with the story of an unusual girl working in the rear palace. If not for that, I might not have seen any connection."
"What about me is so different?"
"So often, you only smiled when talking about the Emperor's children, or your meetings with Lady Anshi, his majesty or Ah-Duo. Then, all of a sudden, you had so much more joy in your life. It seemed there was a story about the girl every other day, even if you accounted for yourself quite poorly."
Jinshi froze, like a cat caught by it's nape.
"Is there a reason to be afraid, young master?"
"I couldn't ask such a thing innocently. And if we did discover it, we'd have to keep it secret for both of our sake's."
"She has a contract to the palace, no? If her circumstances change you could approach her on more even ground."
"Even if all I am is Jinshi the eunuch to her, we're still so different. How could revealing the truth not harm that?"
"Ah-hah. Young master, you've done something very interesting."
"What?"
"You should know very well that soulmates don't have to fall in love. If the girl is as bright as you say, she would make an ideal retainer. You have a tight-knit collection of allies, and a lot of reason to be mistrustful. What a blessing it is to have such a capable girl so close to your heart."
"Yes, but-"
"If it's reward you wonder about, you could give her access to any number of worthy husbands, and employ her with an excellent salary."
Maomao marrying another man?
"Young master, you're making an unpleasant face."
"This topic is unpleasant."
"And why is that?"
He opened his mouth, sucked in a breath, than stopped himself.
He didn't want anyone else to have her.
Suiren, who never had found any challenge in reading his mind, bore a contented smile. "Young master, you are missing your hair stick. Where could it have gone?" She asked rhetorically. She tied up his hair, securing it with a new hairstick.
He sighed, "What should I do?"
"Ensure that she understands her value to you, and what it means to have your favour. Do consider the possibility of giving her a new job in time."
"Of course. Am I ready?"
She took a step back, gently putting her hands together. "Yes. All done."
Despite all of Suiren's hard work, he had ruffled his collar cloying for air. He felt hot, in spite of the biting cold. He could hear some sort of consternation on the other side of the curtain.
"The soup was poisoned?"
"The taster walked it off!"
"Lady Gyokuyou, are you alright?"
"The minister tasted the soup and collapsed!"
He pushed the curtain aside to see everyone was out of their seats, and most were paralysed by the confusion and commotion. He heard footsteps behind him, and caught a glimpse of the the familiar colours of a Jade pavilion Lady-in-waiting rushing away. He realised, the taster who had found the poison, it would have been Lady Gyokuyou's taster.
"The Apothecary."
He walked after her, catching sight of her in the distance. She was drawing water from a nearby well. He continued walking until he was close behind her. If she had swallowed poison, no, if she had even inhaled the fumes of something poisoned, she could be in serious danger.
"Apothecary!" He cried out.
She spun around, her lipstick now smudged and rubbed off onto a handkerchief. She was smiling ear to ear. "Master Jinshi, What a beautiful day!" She called. Eyes aglow. The cat who got the cream.
Was she.. happy?
"It seems your day has been better than mine." He returned, a bit sarcastically, and quite aggravated. He grabbed her hand.
"What are you doing?!" She said with alarm.
"I'm taking you to a doctor." He then turned and began walking, using his weight to shut down the argument.
"I spat out all the poison, I'm fine." She said, then a moment later "W-wait, Master Jinshi!"
He turned and stopped, expecting her to reveal something important.
"Can I have the rest of the soup, please." She begged, with stars in her eyes.
Was this girl so lackadaisical, so brazen, so dismissive of her own life that she wanted to drink poisoned soup? Did she have no regard for how the people in her life would feel?
"You idiot."
She pouted, "I'm just trying to improve you know."
He sighed, knowing that this eccentricity was par for the course. "After you left, someone doubted the soup was dangerous, and tried it."
"Who the hell would be that stupid?" She chided, and he felt the same way.
"One of the ministers, now the whole garden party is in uproar."
She reached into her robes, and offered him a small bag, claiming it was an emetic, meant to "turn anyone's stomach's inside out." Was she seriously just carrying that with her? He pulled in off her, both to keep her away from something poisonous, and to ensure someone responsible would be there to use it. As they walked back, he tried to conclude anything from this. Who would try to poison the precious consort? An asinine question, there were too many people to suspect.
Was it a blessing that the taster had been Maomao, someone familiar with poison an it's effects? Maybe. If it were a different taster, would they be dying, or dead by now? He had no idea. Imagining the Apothecary writhing and sick as her body shut down from poison was horrible. But no, she had come off from this well, at least for now.
It was hopeless, he realised, there really was no respectful distance between them anymore. She was no longer simply his subordinate. At what point had that line been crossed? His heart was racing and his thoughts were turning to mush.
He would focus on keeping her safe. Nothing else.