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Dear Diary. The date is currently April 19th, 2022.
I'm not sure why I'm doing this, or why i try in general, but i would like to introduce myself.
My name is Jenny. I am a middle child with two siblings. My parents got divorced around two years ago and since then i would spend weekdays with my mom and weekends with my dad.
Im just going to write random things there is no point in reading this. If you are related to me or one of my friends please stop reading.
I have finally picked a day, 05/04/23. I just hope i don't give up before then lol. That gives me a year to have fun. Today i gave myself a stick and poke, i would have been able to get an actual tattoo but my mom was like "iTs iLlEgAl. iM jUsT lEtTiNg yOu kNoW bEcAuSe yOuR dAd iS cRaZy aNd hE mIgHt tRy tO sTiLl gIvE yOu iT" like shut up. I was promised a tattoo. I was promised a tattoo at 14, even though im 12 i should still be able to get one because i will do stupid shit like this(im probably going to regret it but oh well!)
I would kill myself right now if i could. I just hate pain. Ive only sh 3 times before. The first time i only did one cut (on my wrist) to see how bad it hurt. It didnt hurt that much because i wasn't pressing down hard enough. The second time i took apart a razor and cut in the area above my thigh and below my ribcage many times just so i could watch the blood rush down. The third time i cut the side of my calf just so i could collect the blood in a small jar (it didn't work. The jar isn't even halfway full).
In a change of subject im going to tell you a secret. I dont feel like im truly a girl, so you are to address me as such.
My name is danny, i am either nonbinary or genderfluid (im not sure which one). I hate dresses heels the color pink (any bright color tbh) and anything that makes me seem girly. If i have a funeral i would like to be wearing a suit.
Time to move on
Ways to kms: (mm this seems a little dark..)
Noose:
I learned how to tie one because of the friendly noose song ☺️☺️
Now i keep my hoodie strings in little nooses (make this a trend)
Gun:
Heart or head?
Probably my brains lol 🤪🤪
Drowning:
Almost did this one once lol
CUZ OF MY STUPID GAY BROTHER NOT KNOWING HOW TO SWIM AND GOING TO THE DEEP END😍😍
Car crash:
My anxiety always makes me think we're going to get into a crash🤌
Or maybe i could stand in front of a train?
Just to keep the mood somewhat lighter, heres some reasons i wish to live
14- piercing (prob septum or cartilage)
15- drivers permit (imma go vroom vroom skirrt)
16- drivers license (olivia rodrigo)
17- another piercing (i want snake bites but idk if theyll look good)
18- TATTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO (FUCK YEAHH)
19- idk
20-idk
21- ALCOHOLLLLLLLLL (DRUGSS)
Yeah i got no plans for after that
Now it is time for me to go
Byeee