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Bojack Horseman— Television star, famous author, millionaire, and a stupid piece of shit.
He's currently slumped in a shitty bar chair and downing yet another bottle of whiskey while the bartender side eyes him with a mix of judgment and concern, emotions they dare not voice out loud.
Bojacks moment of peace was then ruined when a short guy with the most atrocious haircut he'd ever seen sat down next to him. He had icy blue eyes and his face looked tiny and stupid. His ridiculous hair was a medium to dark shade of boring brown.
"One cup of gin, please," the strange man requested. The bartender nods and pours his drink. Bojack shifted uncomfortably. He felt strangely drawn to the man's pretty little blue eyes.
No, that's ridiculous. Bojack isn't gay. Not that there's anything wrong with being gay, of course, he just isn't.
The brunette looked at him, staring for a moment before his eyes lit up in recognition. "Hey, I recognize you! Bojack Horseman, the horse from Horsin' Around."
Bojack nodded. "Yeah, that's me," he responded simply. The man extended his hand out to Bojack. "I'm Charlie. Charlie Kirk."
Bojack stared at his hand for a second. "Uh, okay?" He shook his hand with disinterest, and pretended not to care about how it felt kind of nice to touch him. Electric, almost. He wipes his hand off on his jacket when Kirk isn't looking.
"Yeah, you look like your name would be something as stupid as Kirk," Horseman muttered under his breath.
"What was that?"
"Nothing."
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It's been almost an hour and both Bojack and Charlie had more than their fair share of booze. Surprisingly, they were having fun talking to each other, even if Charlie's political takes were absolute shit.
"Yeah- and then I was like, 'neigh way hosé!'" Bojack drunkenly laughed out. "Is-Isn't that funny?"
"Funny or not, I'm honestly too drunk to care! Haha!"
"Ha- yeah, yknow, I think I'm in love with you-"
Bojack froze. What...? What the FUCK did he just say?! Charlie froze too, staring at him with those damn blue eyes. Then he started... laughing?
"Uhhhh... no I don't! Yeah I was, I was joking," Bojack tried to play it off. He NEVER said he loved anyone, especially not random MALE strangers! "R-Right?"
"Bojack, Bojack, s-shush." Charlie raised a hand over Bojacks mouth, ruffling his nervous stammering. He slowly moved his hand to the side of Horseman's face.
"What are you...?"
Bojacks muttering was muffled again by Charlie's lips suddenly on his.
Hoooooly shiiiiiit.
Hadn't Charlie just gone on a 17 minute rant about how much he hates gay people? Now he's kissing boys?? What the hell?
But in all honesty, Horseman wouldn't complain. He'd been thinking about doing this with him for the past half hour, after all. Bojack slowly started kissing him back before getting comfortable and leaning in, slipping his tongue in Kirk's mouth.
"Mmh~" Charlie moans, pulling away and starting to kiss Bojacks neck. Horseman rested his hands on Charlie's hips for a moment before pulling him onto himself. Charlie straddled Bojacks lap as he brought his face back up, kissing the horse once again.
Charlie was surprised at how good of a kisser Bojack was, but he supposed it's from experience since he's been with tons of women in the past. Charlie's always heard of older men tricking younger men into sinful, homosexual acts before. He never imagined he'd end up engaging first.
Bojacks tongue tasted like whiskey, and he smelled like sweat and cheap cologne, despite being an actual millionaire. Still, it was a bit charming in Charlie's eyes. His hand stroked Bojacks mane as he closed his eyes, letting the wonderful feeling of making out with Horseman and being this close to him take over.
After a few minutes of this, they were both a little out of breath. Bojack pulled away. "Shit, I think I might be gay," he said in a breathy voice. "I still like women though. That's normal, right?"
"Nothing about this is normal, I'm pretty sure," Charlie muttered with a lopsided grin before kissing Bojack again. "Yknow... this is the best I've felt in years, believe it or not."
Before they could go back to their little makeout session, a young man suddenly kicked the door of the bar down and cocked his gun. "CHARLIE KIRK!" He called out in rage.
"Oh shit.. he... he found me! Bojack, I- I-" Charlie stammered nervously as Bojacks eyes flickered from him to the strange guy with the— HOLY SHIT, A GUN?! (Yeah, it's just now clicking for him.)
Bojack pushes Charlie off of him. "What the hell is happening?! Why is there a weird man with a gun after you?!" The horse rightfully yelled.
"Its because of my shitty political takes... I'm a terrible person, Bojack!" Kirk cried out.
"Tick tock, ugly boy," the gun man cooed before raising his gun and—
BANG!
Bojack jumped in startlement. His shirt and face were covered in a sticky crimson substance, and Charlie— OH SHIT, CHARLIE!!
He had a gaping wound on his neck. Bojack's hands started shaking. "Charlie, no!" He didn't know what to do. What COULD he do? What now could slow the drop?
Drops of blood, that is.
"B-Bojack..." Charlie forced out in weak breaths. "I... I love you..." His icy blue eyes suddenly looked empty and sad. His face previously flushed from their previous acts was now pale and lifeless.
Bojacks gay awakening had just been shot to death in his arms. The world felt like it'd just shattered. Bojack didn't care about anything happening anymore, he didn't care about the cries of the fellow conservative pieces of shit in the bar, he didn't care about the murderer getting away, he didn't care about any of it.
He only cared about his one true soulmate, Charlie Kirk.
And he's gone now.