Chapter Text
Spencer laid down next to Alex, it broke something in him to know she would not wake up as her eyes closed, they had both fought their way to Montana and he’d never get to take her home to the ranch, after this night he would never get to hold his wife again. He had always known he was selfish to keep her, he couldn’t put her back and god knows she wouldn’t have let him if he had tried, she had gotten back to his side, brought their boy into the world without him while he was busy taking men out of it and he was losing her with each breath she took. Sleep took him eventually, the sound of Alex's gentle breathing lulling him into the deep, solid, sleep he had only gotten next to her, his hand on her chest feeling it rise and fall, his last memory.
“Spencer,” her voice filled his ears, sad and anxious but stronger than he had heard since he found her. “You need to read this,” he had heard those words before, when he opened his eyes pushing himself into sitting, it was Africa he saw, the bed they shared in the beach hut not the small hospital bed he had fallen asleep in.
He pulled Alex into his lap, her repeated insistence that he needed to read the letter ignored in favor of holding her to him as tightly as he could, his face buried in her curls to hide the emotion he couldn’t explain at seeing her, whole and alive and right there in front of him.
“Darlin', there is not a thing in that letter that I need to know right now,” his hands moved to her thighs to pull her legs around his waist.
“Spencer," her soft hands cradled his face, pulling him to look at her.
"Alex,” he rested his forehead to hers, a hand gripping her curls. "Just stay here," the sun was just barely coming up, the black night giving way to the predawn gray around them as he held her. She was warm under his hands, the silk that he had peeled off her so many times the only barrier to her skin, hands moving, sliding the slip up to grasp her naked waist.
“You need to read it baby," her tone booked no argument.
"You read it,” he whispered it into her neck, pressing a kiss to the steady pulse he found there.
The letter was exactly as he remembered, if it had been a bad dream or a warning he wasn't sure, what he was sure of however was that he would keep her safe this time. He tugged her down to lay in his arms in the growing light, wrapping himself around her, silently making plans to be sure they didn't get separated, he would not risk her again. He didn't know how to explain to Alex that he already knew what she was going to find in the letter before she read it to him, or how to explain the future he had watched play out, at least not without her thinking him insane.
“What are you thinking?" Her quiet question broke the silence around their bed, her head on his chest turning to look at him, love and worry showing in her beautiful eyes.
"The quickest yet safest way to get us back to Montana,” he traced her spine as he spoke. "There aren't any ships that go from Africa to America, we'll need to get one to London first," he chuckled as she scrunched her nose at the thought of returning to London. “I know darlin' it won't be for long, then I think we'll get a ship straight to Texas, it's closer to home.”
"Home,” the smile that took over her lips made the air catch in his lungs.
"My home is wherever you are now, so if you hate it we don't have to stay, but I do need to go back and help.” He stopped her from sitting up, unwilling still to lose any point of contact, the memory of knowing he was losing her too fresh in his mind.
"If you need to be there then that is our home, besides you said that it was a lot like the Serengeti, just no lions,” she pressed a kiss to the healing wound. "No jaguars either, I'm sure we'll be very happy there. We need to leave today I assume?”
Spencer thought about it and he still couldn't wait for the steamship that was sailing in a month, they would have to take the tug boat again, he would just stay awake holding Alex in that small bunk. "Tomorrow, I'll make some preparations today but we'll leave tomorrow."
They had days before the tug was leaving and if that didn't work out he'd find a different boat to get them to the Suez, ideally something more meant for the journey. First they would sleep, he would get word to his friends to bring the boat to pick them up the next day, he would enjoy one last day of peace in the heaven that was his wife naked on a beach all to themselves. Only then did it hit him that she was not his wife, not yet, he would need to remedy that immediately. He looked at Alex only to find her asleep on his chest, demanding again to marry her would have to wait. He knew better than to wake her and he felt like he hadn't slept in months as he moved, curling even more around her and falling asleep, sending a prayer to a God he'd quit believing in in the cold bloody mud of an European battlefield, that she would still be there, and alive, when he woke up.