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Being a Slayer comes with all sorts of physical enhancements—abnormal strength, heightened reflexes, vampire tinglies, that sort of thing.
Good aim doesn’t automatically come with the package. That is a skill honed with every vampire and demon slain.
And after a couple years living in Sunnydale, Buffy’s a damn good shot.
When she’s in the middle of a fight, she goes on autopilot. She lets her body do what it does best. Her arm will aim for the heart. She’ll kill the monster. She’ll save the day.
Buffy sinks the dagger into the chest of her enemy, panting from the physical exertion. It's a routine she knows well.
Only, it’s different.
Because she just stabbed Faith. In the heart.
Buffy stabbed Faith in the heart.
And Faith is going to die. Slayers are tough, but not that tough.
And not going to die like this’ll have long-term health effects. She’s dying right now.
Buffy Summers is about to kill Faith Lehane.
And for what? Because Faith killed someone? That was an accident. This was planned. Buffy just crossed a line Faith never did. And what gave her the right to be judge, jury, and executioner? Why did Buffy do it?
Because her boyfriend needs a cure? Is Buffy so selfish she’s willing to take someone’s life because her jackass, sometimes evil, boundary-crossing man needs her to? Hell, she could give him blood. And yet here she is taking the life of someone else. It hadn’t even crossed her mind until the knife had already sunk into the flesh. Faith’s no saint but she’s certainly not where Buffy’s no killing humans rule should bend. And yet.
Faith staggers back, she’s about to fall off the side of the building when Buffy grabs her and helps her gently to the floor. It’s the least she can do, after killing her.
(Why did she do that?)
“Nice shot, B.” Faith lets out a humorless laugh.
(What is wrong with her?)
“Faith, I–” Buffy starts. (What’s she supposed to say?) “I’m so sorry. I didn’t, I didn’t mean to.”
“Don’t lie,” Faith says. “You needed my blood, you have it. This is exactly what you meant to do.”
Buffy lets out a sob. Here she is, on her knees next to her friend turned ??? turned mortal enemy turned murder victim as she bleeds, and Buffy is crying.
(Why is she crying? Faith’s not crying.)
“I take it back.” Buffy wonders if she repeats that like a mantra if she can develop magical abilities spontaneously and will the life back into Faith. She doesn’t test the theory. Tears stream down Buffy’s face.
“Little late, B.”
When’s Faith going to go? Buffy’s no medical expert but she can’t have long, right? It wasn’t an exact hit on the heart, but it was close. It’s not like there’s part of your chest where it’s good to be stabbed in. Buffy wonders how exactly she’ll die. Like, what process will get her. She’s stabbed thousands of hearts and she’s never really thought of it in a way more complicated than stabby stabby, monster dead. Other parts of the Slayer gig are complicated, but the violence? Not so much. Until now. Until she’s here watching Faith die, and now she’s curious as to what about the stab is so deadly. Heart stops pumping? Internal blood loss? External blood loss? Something else?
“I know. I know. I’m sorry.” Buffy’s not asking for forgiveness. Faith will be dead long before she’d ever consider forgiving her. Hell, even if she lived a long and joyous life after this (she wouldn’t, she’s a Slayer, her days are numbered), she still probably would never forgive Buffy. And Buffy certainly will never forgive herself. The guilt will stay with her forever. She’s beginning to understand why Angel’s moody.
“You know I love you, B? Right?” Faith asks, voice barely a whisper.
(What does Faith mean by that?)
“Yeah,” Buffy says, voice trembling. “I love you too.”
(What does Buffy mean by that? Do they mean the same thing?)
“Even now, I still love you,” Faith says as Buffy leans in closer to hear her.
Buffy doesn’t deserve what Faith’s offering. What exactly it is, she’s not sure, but she knows she hasn’t earned it. She hasn’t earned anything except twenty-to-life.
She doesn’t know what to say. How to respond. Here she is, curled up to a dying Faith and she’s at a loss for words and actions because no one teaches you what to say when you’re around someone who’s dying and they especially don’t tell you what to do and say when you’re the one killing them.
Buffy runs her fingers through Faith’s hair. The touch feels almost sacrilegious. She’s touching something that isn’t hers. It's too pure for her. All of Faith feels too pure, the act of killing her suddenly cleansing her of her sins. In death, she’s just a martyr. A victim of human cruelty. Buffy supposes all Slayers are martyrs in some form. God, Faith would hate how she’s talking about her right now.
(Why does Faith make her feel this way?)
Buffy’s pretty sure Faith is still alive, but she’s almost gone. Her eyes are closed. Can’t be good. Any second now.
A flicker of an urge runs through her mind. It feels violent and dirty because Buffy wants it badly and anything she wants must be bad because she’s a killer.
It’s silly and impossible. Still, she wants.
How selfish is she? Wanting to do something with Faith even as she’s dying? What is wrong with her?
Maybe it’ll work, she catches herself thinking. Magic is real and maybe, maybe, maybe.
It’s stupid and evil. It’s worth a shot. Because maybe, maybe.
(What does Buffy have to lose here that she’s not already lost?)
Buffy leans down, hair cascading down, shrouding Faith’s head like a veil. Buffy lowers herself until her lips are right above Faith’s. She freezes.
(What is she doing?)
She unfreezes, pressing a chaste kiss into her mouth.
Buffy pulls back and Faith’s eyes are open again and she hears her say Buffy and for the quickest of moments, she really believes she saved Faith. The power of true love’s kiss and other sappy shit that makes Buffy’s chest swell with hope—which is idiotic and hypocritical because she put Faith there in the first place.
But this isn’t a fairytale. This is a story of human brutality and Buffy’s disregard for human life.
Buffy watches as Faith dies.
Faith is dead and Buffy is crying even harder because she’s a selfish bitch. She cries so hard she struggles to breathe, but it’s still not hard enough because she deserves to sob herself to death for what she did.
Buffy sits with her enemy for– her enemy? Her friend? Her colleague? Her lover?
Buffy sits with her girl lying motionless next to her for hours.