Chapter Text
Three hours in, Xie Lian finally pauses to survey his kitchen with some trepidation.
If asked, even at gunpoint, he wouldn’t be able to say just how he’d managed to get it into such a state, but he’s definitely responsible. Every pan, pot, and bowl he owns are sprawled everywhere, occupying every available surface, filled with substances of unknown origin and indescribable colors. Some smell. Strongly. Some are still making rumbling noises on the stove, but at least the smoke is now firmly trapped in the oven with whatever culinary catastrophe had happened to spawn it.
Xie Lian sighs, shoulders sinking down, and reaches to open the window.
“Gege?”
Xie Lian whirls in place, face transforming into a beaming smile. “San Lang! What are you doing here?”
Hua Cheng’s eyes take in the battlefield Xie Lian has turned his kitchen into. “I rang the bell, and I also called, but I can see now how you wouldn’t have heard me.” He gives the oven a look. “I let myself in when I smelled smoke and heard Ruoye meowing.”
“Ah! Oh, uh, sorry about that.” Xie Lian rubs his cheek sheepishly. Of course his cat would tattle on him. “I don’t know where I put my phone. It’s probably in one of those jars.” He waves his hand at a shelf with lidded jars, innocuously labeled ‘Flour,’ ‘Sugar,’ ‘Starch’ while actually containing none of those things.
“I see,” Hua Cheng says, eyes finally landing on him.
Xie Lian glances away.
Hua Cheng tilts his head. “Are you all right?”
Xie Lian sighs. “Li Jing and I broke up.”
Hua Cheng looks around the kitchen again and reaches to turn the stove off. “... I gathered.” He takes a step closer to the counter and grins. “Congratulations.”
Xie Lian gives him a reproachful look. “San Lang!”
Hua Cheng doesn’t even blink. “What? That overgrown, entitled, utterly spoiled manchild had no business being allowed near you in the first place, and I’m glad that gege has finally seen that.” His smile widens. “Good riddance.”
“San Lang,” Xie Lian groans, pressing a hand to his eyes. “I could have been upset.”
Hua Cheng’s lips twitch, his eyes never leaving their target. “You’re not.”
Xie Lian sighs, dropping his hand. “I am, a little bit,” he confesses. “He’s not a bad person, but that’s not… I just wish, if we had to break up, it could’ve been over something else.”
Hua Cheng’s eyes narrow. “What was it?”
Alarms begin ringing in Xie Lian’s head, and he hastily turns to the window, fully hiding. “Just... something. It doesn’t matter; let’s forget it.”
It’s not even a full cycle of breath before Hua Cheng is directly behind him, looming over him like an angry shadow. “What did he do?”
“San Lang…” Xie Lian’s shoulders sag, a blush covering his cheeks. Very primly, he manages, “I’m not going to discuss those kinds of details with someone I used to tutor in basic algebra!”
A moment later, he realizes that hoping his tutor voice would stop Hua Cheng from pressing further was, of course, futile. It hadn’t had any effect on him in years; hell, who is he kidding, it had never worked on Hua Cheng at all.
“Those kinds of details…” Hua Cheng repeats, processing. “You’re cooking obsessively, so you’re embarrassed, not upset. You would have had no problem telling me if it was something obvious, like Trash Number Two hiding that he was married, or Trash Number Four, who used your papers to get a loan.” He pauses. “And you’re blushing. Which means—”
Xie Lian really can’t burst into flames soon enough.
“—it’s about sex.”
God. Can he just die now, please? Xie Lian loves his former student and a lifelong friend beyond words, but sometimes Hua Cheng’s tenaciousness is just…
When Xie Lian doesn’t deny it, Hua Cheng firmly takes him by the shoulders and turns him around, tipping Xie Lian’s chin up until their eyes meet. Xie Lian’s mouth drops open slightly at the expression on Hua Cheng’s face.
“Did he hurt you?” Hua Cheng pushes out, voice rumbling.
Xie Lian shakes his head quickly. “No! No, he didn’t. San Lang—”
Hua Cheng doesn’t back off. “What did he do, then?” Xie Lian bites his lip. “Gege, if you don’t tell me, I’m going to find him and beat it out of him.”
“No, don’t!” Xie Lian grabs his arm hastily. That’s not an empty threat, so he resigns himself to one more embarrassment and confesses, staring at the floor, “He wanted me to do something in bed, and I wasn’t comfortable with it, that’s all. Happy now?”
Hua Cheng’s eyes redden with fury. “And he still—”
“No,” Xie Lian says sharply, looking up. “No, nothing like that. It’s just… He asked… a few times, and I never wanted to, and he said it was a deal breaker.” He purses his lips. “So I broke it off.”
His words have some effect, at least, as Hua Cheng visibly brings himself back under control. They both pause, just breathing.
“I hope gege knows,” Hua Cheng says eventually, in his usual, well-modulated voice, “that I would be exceedingly happy to bash his head in for causing you even a moment’s upset.”
Xie Lian smiles helplessly, softening. “San Lang is a very protective friend, and I’m lucky to have him, but there’s no need for violence.”
Hua Cheng gives him a gloomy look but seems to force himself to change topics. “Would you like some help cleaning up?”
Xie Lian beams at him, finally feeling something approaching relaxed. “Please.”
--
They clean the kitchen unhurriedly, working side by side. Hua Cheng occasionally tastes something, providing guesses about what Xie Lian was trying to make and complimenting the result. Xie Lian begs him to stop before he gives himself food poisoning, but Hua Cheng only grins at him, assuring him, “I love gege’s cooking.” Eventually, Xie Lian just smiles at him fondly.
He wonders, at times, what his life would have been like if he didn’t have Hua Cheng in it. A great deal more dull, probably. And for sure, a lot more miserable.
Xie Lian had been seventeen when he’d first met a belligerent ten-year-old being beaten bloody by some thugs masquerading as school children. Hua Cheng—still Mo Hong then, before he’d legally changed his name at eighteen—had been incredibly unimpressed with the world back then, but he’d latched onto Xie Lian like an abandoned wolf cub, following him everywhere.
Sadly, that had been Xie Lian’s last year at the same school, but he’d grown so attached to the boy that he’d made time for him as he went to university—fortunately, in the same city—and even later, when Xie Lian’s parents had died and his life had taken a tumble downhill. He’d always made time for San Lang.
Hua Cheng had been the same. No matter how busy he’d been with his studies, his training, his startup that had later grown into a small empire, he’d always had time for Xie Lian. Xie Lian’s other friends had fallen away, one by one, as his troubles had multiplied, but Hua Cheng had never left. Xie Lian had even tried to disappear, once, when his life had hit a particularly hard rock bottom—to exit quietly, so as not to risk dragging Hua Cheng down with him—but Hua Cheng had found him after just three months. He had... not been happy with Xie Lian about that.
Xie Lian likes his life now. He likes teaching kids martial arts and calligraphy at the traditional arts center; likes giving occasional tours through the historical center, making history come alive for the attendees and utilizing the degree he’d fought so hard for but never got to finish. He likes his small, cozy apartment. It’s not a glamorous existence by any means, but Xie Lian cherishes it, and he wouldn’t have any of it without Hua Cheng.
There had been many moments where Xie Lian would have given up, especially early on, if it hadn’t been for that presence in his life. Hua Cheng had been just a schoolboy at the time, and he couldn’t do anything about the issues Xie Lian was facing, but his very existence meant that there was at least one person in the world who cared about Xie Lian, who still needed him. If Xie Lian didn’t make it, that person would be hurt. And no matter how far Xie Lian had fallen, no matter how impossible everything had seemed, he couldn’t allow himself to give up while there was still that one person out there.
It had evened out, gradually. By the time Hua Cheng graduated from university, Xie Lian was doing at least okay. The balancing act of making ends meet had stabilized to some degree, slowly but steadily climbing from there.
There’s just one area of his life that Xie Lian has never been able to get quite right, and no amount of friendly encouragement can help him—not that Hua Cheng has ever been willing to provide any for it. For some reason, he’s always seemed more willing to let Xie Lian jump out of a plane—wearing a parachute, of course—than help him find a partner to settle down with.
And it’s not that Xie Lian is so very lonely that he needs a romantic someone to be happy. Paradoxically, if it hadn’t been for Hua Cheng, Xie Lian probably wouldn’t have bothered. He does like his life as it is, but he can’t shake the feeling that he’s holding Hua Cheng back. Hua Cheng had ended up thriving so wonderfully, and he’s earned all of it, and now that he’s at the top, he needs to dump the ballast. He can’t keep wasting his young, exciting life on looking after his hapless once-tutor.
Evidently, Hua Cheng doesn’t think Xie Lian can take care of himself, and, considering some episodes he’d witnessed in his youth, he can’t be blamed for it. But Xie Lian can’t keep exploiting that just because he loves his company. This was how, slowly, the idea had emerged—that, if he could find even a temporary partner, someone whom Hua Cheng would deem capable of taking over, Hua Cheng would finally allow himself to cut his heavy old anchor loose.
Unfortunately, Xie Lian’s luck with men is no better than his luck anywhere else. Seriously, he gets that he’s not exactly the first prize—not anymore, if he ever had been—but he’s not shooting for the stars, either! He doesn’t aspire for much in the way of romance, but he imagines there are a great many people he can learn to like if he has to. He’s very accommodating and extremely low- maintenance! And it doesn’t have to be forever. Why, then, with such low requirements, is he having such a difficult time?!
“Mm, I think that’s the last one,” Hua Cheng says, unearthing a bowl from the fridge that contains something bright green and purple. He dips his finger in and licks it. His eyebrows shoot up. “My mistake—melted ice cream.” He looks at Xie Lian with a smile. “Want to go out for some that hasn’t melted?”
Xie Lian shakes his head, laughing. “No, that’s from when A-Xuan was here the other night; I just forgot about it.” He takes the bowl from Hua Cheng and begins washing it.
“I thought they were on a diet?”
Xie Lian shrugs, placing the bowl on the drying rack. “They were upset about something their brother did again. I had to take emergency measures.”
Hua Cheng grins. “Gege is so considerate.”
Xie Lian shakes his head, turning the water off. His mood sinks again. “Evidently, I’m not considerate enough.”
“Nonsense; your taste in men just sucks.”
“San Lang!” Xie Lian throws a kitchen towel at him, not knowing whether to laugh or cry. “You could have some sympathy—I’m just that unlucky!”
Hua Cheng grins wider, unrepentant, folding the towel neatly on the counter. “Gege, I hate to tell you this, but that’s not bad luck. I sometimes wonder what kind of filter you have on when you’re choosing them, but I swear, if you put them in a row, they’d make a nice lineup for that TV show where people who should be arrested for petty crime eat glue.”
“San Lang!” Xie Lian shrieks and buries his face in his hands, but it’s too late—his whole body is shaking with laughter.
“What?” Hua Cheng mercilessly presses, visibly pleased with himself. “It’s true. Trash Number One wanted you to pay his bills; I still can’t believe you did.”
“I thought it was temporary—”
“Aforementioned Trash Number Two forgot to mention he’s married, took you on a trip to Macao, and left you there without any means to get home when his wife found out.”
“And will you finally let me wire you the money back, now that I—”
“Trash Number Three”—Hua Cheng talks over him, habitually growing deaf whenever Xie Lian speaks about paying him back for anything—“wanted you to be his girlfriend for his friends and family, and, when you wouldn’t, he took it out on my car because he thought it was yours.”
“Again, I’m so sorry—”
“Are you kidding me?” Hua Cheng’s grin is distinctly bloodthirsty. “I was ecstatic it was my car. First, that meant you were safe, and second, I got to beat the crap out of him and take him for everything he had. He’s still paying me, by the way.”
“San Lang—”
“He also had that annoying, put-upon lisp—”
“San Lang!” Xie Lian manages. “He did not!”
“Your memory is kinder to you than mine is to me, gege. How you could stand to listen to him for more than thirty seconds, I will never understand. Now, Trash Number Four—”
“San Lang, stop, please! I’m begging you!” Xie Lian is clutching at his sides, breathing hard. He shakes his head, unable to fight his grin. “I shouldn’t be laughing; this isn’t funny.”
Hua Cheng watches him with a warm look. “You’re laughing because you know I’m right. Though, truly, gege, the fact that you’d let this trash near you, let alone touch you, is…” His jaw tenses. “It pains me.”
“Ah, San Lang,” Xie Lian sighs, shaking his head at him fondly. “I’m just flesh and blood. Don’t think so highly of me.”
“Can’t help it.” Hua Cheng flashes him a grin. “Clearly, I’m the only one of us with perfect vision.”
And perfect heterochromia eyes that, lately, Xie Lian has been trying not to stare into for too long, disturbed by thoughts he’d rather not contemplate. Like how he might drown in them.
“But truthfully, gege, how? This should be studied.”
Xie Lian sighs. “Honestly, San Lang, I just say yes when people ask me out. Which, when you think about it, proves my point about bad luck.”
Hua Cheng is staring at him expectantly, as if he hadn’t received an answer. When Xie Lian just peers back at him, he prods, “No, but seriously?”
“What?” Xie Lian shrugs. “That’s how I chose them all.”
Hua Cheng stares, strangely arrested. “You—” He clears his throat. “You say yes to anyone who asks you out?”
Xie Lian gives him a slightly annoyed look. “Yes? How else would I find a partner?” He exhales. “I’m not rich, so money can’t be the draw. I… used to be somewhat handsome, but I can’t expect to still be regarded as… Well, anyway, that’s not a draw, either, and—and I’m thirty-eight; I’m not young! And my family name is ruined, so really—how can I be picky?”
He pauses, frowning slightly. “San Lang, are you okay?”
Hua Cheng looks like Xie Lian’s cooking has finally gotten the better of him, even with his years of built-up immunity. His face changes colors—from an unhealthy green to stark white—so abruptly that Xie Lian finds himself suddenly worried. “San Lang?”
“Gege,” Hua Cheng says, and his voice doesn’t sound right, either. “You can’t… you can’t be thinking all that?” His tone is almost pleading. “I mean, it would explain so much, but you can’t really…”
Xie Lian doesn’t understand. “Uh, more or less? San Lang, it’s not a big deal; these things are natural. I don’t feel bad about it—please don’t misunderstand me!”
He gives a few more absolutely sincere reassurances, but Hua Cheng doesn’t appear to be listening. By his expression, he’s ruminating intensely over something, galaxies of thoughts swirling around that incredibly sharp mind of his in mere seconds. Yet, as well as Xie Lian knows him, he could never in a million years have predicted the turn their conversation would take the moment Hua Cheng opens his mouth to speak again.
“Date me.”
--
Xie Lian blinks, then laughs softly. “What?”
Hua Cheng rolls his shoulders, his usual confidence reasserting itself. His complexion seems back to normal, too.
“Date me, gege,” he repeats, confirming that Xie Lian hadn’t been hallucinating the first time. “Let me show you how you deserve to be treated. Please.”
That sends a tingling shiver down Xie Lian’s spine, but he shakes himself out of it. “What? San Lang, I can’t…” He lets out a strange-sounding laugh. “I can’t date you!”
Hua Cheng appears undeterred, and oh, Xie Lian knows that look—the one that states, ‘I had to fight for every single thing in my life and I’m getting my way no matter what.’ Xie Lian has always felt more than slightly partial to that look, but now that it’s directed at him, his knees turn a little weak. He grips the edge of the counter.
“Why not?” Hua Cheng asks calmly, like someone opening negotiations while already certain of the result. “Didn’t I just fulfill your apparently single requirement?”
“San Lang,” Xie Lian manages, caught between tears and laughter again. “It’s not… You’re not—you’re not like them!”
“I should hope not,” Hua Cheng huffs, “but how does that disqualify me?”
It’s so obvious to Xie Lian, but he’s so thrown that he can’t find the right words in the cacophony of startled thoughts in his head.
“You’re not serious!” he finally blurts out.
“I’m very serious, gege,” Hua Cheng assures softly, a playful smile on his lips. “I like you. Go out with me.”
“You don’t like me like that!”
“I like you in every way imaginable,” Hua Cheng murmurs. “And yes, very much like that.”
“San Lang…” Xie Lian rolls his eyes, waving at him. What was he thinking, asking Hua Cheng to be serious? He’s always been a mischievous fox spirit, all silver tongue and no sincerity.
“Why can’t you date me?” Hua Cheng insists, his tone still light, leaning against the wall and casually crossing his ankles.
Because I’m trying to get you to waste less time on me, not more, Xie Lian thinks with some despair, but he can’t say that. He goes for the next best thing.
“I’m old! I’m too old for you!”
Hua Cheng lifts a brow. “I was not aware that thirty-eight is considered old, but if so—well, apparently, I’m attracted to older men. Thank you, gege; I’m learning so much about myself today. It turns out you’re just my type.” A corner of his mouth tilts up. “Date me.”
Xie Lian looks for another kitchen towel to throw at him, but none are available. He wrings his hands instead and glares.
“You’re ridiculous.”
“You’ve dated worse.”
“San Lang! That’s rude!”
“That’s true,” Hua Cheng parries mercilessly. “I haven’t even finished the retrospective of all the trash you’ve collected—would you like me to go on?”
“Please, don’t.” Xie Lian winces. “And the last one wasn’t trash; we just… weren’t compatible.”
“I beg to differ, but regardless, I’m better. Date me.”
Xie Lian lifts his eyes at him and tries a different tack. “San Lang, we’re friends.”
Hua Cheng’s eyebrow goes up again. “Would you rather date an enemy?”
“I don’t want to ruin our friendship.”
Hua Cheng grins. “Gege has been watching too many dramas lately. Gege, if our friendship survived my teenage years, I guarantee you, it can survive anything.”
Xie Lian rubs a point between his brows. Hua Cheng’s teenage years had been… colorful. Never a dull moment.
“I thought the same thing back then, by the way,” Hua Cheng says. “Every time you had to plead, bargain, lie, or downright bribe the police to let me go, I thought that would be it—you’d dump me like a hot coal.”
Xie Lian looks at him. “San Lang, no, you just… You were a teenager. You had too many emotions you didn’t know what to do with, and you didn’t think things through. That’s normal.”
Hua Cheng nods. “And you were going through the worst part of your life and didn’t need more problems on top of that, and you still never bailed.”
Xie Lian gives him a reproachful look. “You don’t owe me for that, San Lang.”
“I do, but that’s not what this is,” Hua Cheng replies, his teasing smile returning. “Gege is cute, and sweet, and I would very much like to date him. What’s your next excuse?”
“San Lang!” Xie Lian laughs, exasperated. “They’re not excuses!”
Hua Cheng shrugs. “They sure don’t sound like actual reasons. Is it that you still think of me as a kid?”
Xie Lian stares at him and is forced into honesty. “No. I haven’t... I haven’t thought of you as a kid for a long time.”
Hua Cheng straightens, looking immensely pleased. “Then, what is it? Do you not think I can take care of you?”
“No, San Lang, that’s not—”
“Hang on.”
Hua Cheng disappears from the kitchen and comes back not a minute later, laying a magazine on the counter, facing Xie Lian. It’s a two-year-old issue of Forbes Asia with Hua Cheng on the cover, a cocky posture and a cockier smirk—fair, considering his net worth printed in bold letters below. Xie Lian looks up to see the same smirk now and colors slightly.
“Judging by the fact that I found this poorly buried on your coffee table, gege has read the article?”
“I did,” Xie Lian says, blushing but resigned. “I was very proud of you, so I wanted to keep it.” He looks up. “I am very proud of you, San Lang. You’ve worked very hard.”
“I had a highly motivating goal in mind,” Hua Cheng says, holding his eyes.
Xie Lian feels hot, for some reason, and looks away, unconsciously tugging at the collar of his t-shirt.
“So, as you can see,” Hua Cheng offers, “I can take very good care of you.”
Xie Lian’s shoulders droop. “San Lang, it’s not about—”
Hua Cheng doesn’t seem inclined to give him any room to marshal his thoughts.
“Is it that gege doesn’t find me attractive?”
“San Lang!” Xie Lian’s eyes snap to him. Forget blushing—he’s probably entirely red by now. His face feels so hot, he could cook on it if he had any food left in his house. “That’s—you—!”
Hua Cheng slides closer toward him, leaning sideways against the counter, his smirk turning downright indecent.
“I’ve been working very hard on this as well,” he muses. “But perhaps I don’t fit gege’s tastes. He’s a martial artist, after all, and his body has always been a work of art—so graceful, sublime. Perhaps he finds these muscles too obnoxious.” Hua Cheng’s tone turns morose as he flexes his arm, staring mournfully as it stretches the fabric of his shirt to its limit. “Too much? Or—” He tugs his shirt up to expose his stomach and peers at his perfect eight-pack with a frown. “Perhaps this isn’t firm enough? Gege, what do you think? Please—I promise to improve, but you must be honest!”
Xie Lian feels as if steam is going to start coming out of his ears. He buries his face in his hands, whirling away from Hua Cheng, and groans. “You’re shameless. God, you’re so shameless, I can’t believe you! I’ve never met anyone more shameless than you in my life!”
“Oh, but gege...” Hua Cheng’s purr comes daringly close to Xie Lian’s ear now, his hands settling lightly on Xie Lian’s waist. “You’re so shy. Having a shameless lover would be good for you. Or do you think I can’t put those muscles to use?”
Before Xie Lian can react—push him away, tell him off again, anything—Hua Cheng turns him around and effortlessly lifts him up to sit him on the counter. Xie Lian’s eyes fly open wide.
“You—!”
Hua Cheng is grinning at him, hands on Xie Lian’s thighs, rubbing gently. “I can bench press you a hundred times. Date me.”
Xie Lian stares at him in what he would dearly love to say is outrage but suspects is a great deal more like helpless fondness, with a good measure of fluster. He opens his mouth, but nothing comes out. He purses his lips and looks away.
“Run out of excuses?” Hua Cheng, of course, sees right through him. He sighs a little, his playfulness fading. “Gege, please look at me.” Xie Lian does, eyes barely holding his. “I feel bad about harassing you like this—”
Xie Lian snorts. “No, you don’t.”
“No, I don’t,” Hua Cheng agrees. “But I should. In that spirit, if you really can’t see yourself dating me, just say so.”
Xie Lian closes his eyes for a moment. His problem is exactly the opposite—he can see himself dating Hua Cheng, only too well, and if he does, it will be the most selfish thing he’s ever done. Hua Cheng is meant for something bigger, something greater. He deserves better. Xie Lian should have let go a long time ago.
“Gege?” Hua Cheng calls when the silence lingers. His tone is different now, hesitant. Vulnerable. “Do you really… not like me?”
Xie Lian gives him an exasperated look. “You have keys to my apartment, my cat likes to sleep on you, and look where your hands are. Answer your own question.”
Hua Cheng does actually, reflexively, look at his hands, still resting on Xie Lian’s thighs. He squeezes them gently.
“Then, if gege likes me, but is still reticent and won’t tell me why...” Hua Cheng pauses, pensive. “How about a deal? One date. Give me one chance to show you how good I can be to you, and if you don’t like it, I’ll back off and won’t speak of this again. Just one date, gege.”
“San Lang…”
Hua Cheng leans in closer. “One date. Please.”
Xie Lian closes his eyes.
Did he ever really think he could win? Even that damn article had called Hua Cheng an absolutely ruthless negotiator, which, at the time, had made Xie Lian intensely proud. He’d never thought it would be used against him like this.
He folds. “One date.” Now that he’s gotten the idea into his head, Hua Cheng will never leave him be unless he agrees to at least that.
A slow smile spreads over Hua Cheng’s lips, the expression in his eyes such that Xie Lian has to look away.
“You won’t regret it; I promise.”
Mentally, Xie Lian groans. I already do.
“Can I hug you, to express my deepest sympathies over your breakup?”
Laughter is punched out of him, and Xie Lian leans back on his hands, looking helplessly at the absolutely shameless man before him.
“You’re terrible,” he manages, still giggling. “You’ve got to be the most insufferable person in existence.”
Hua Cheng grins. “Yet I have the keys to your home, the trust of your cat, and my hands are still—”
“Shut up.” Xie Lian pulls him into a hug, still laughing, grateful that he can at least hide his face. Hua Cheng’s arms around him feel as they always have—warm, safe, secure, and something that Xie Lian should by no means have gotten used to.
It’s just one date, Xie Lian tells himself. He can survive one date, and then he really will put an end to this whole thing. For Hua Cheng. He would do anything for Hua Cheng, and he will.
Although, perhaps, he’ll need an alternate escape plan once it’s over. If Hua Cheng ever puts together that Xie Lian’s ill-fated boyfriend quest had started shortly after that article had come out, Xie Lian will be in too much trouble to ever dig himself out.