Work Text:
Melkor: Someone said we cannot be shipped.
Mairon: Why not? Who says that?
Melkor: Some unappreciative naysayers.
Mairon: Then we shall prove them wrong!
Melkor: Rightly so!
Melkor and Mairon teleport through space and time to a shipping company
Shipping clerk: How may I help you?
Mairon: We shall be shipped. How do we commence?
Shipping clerk: We are not a travel agency!
Melkor: We do not desire to travel, it is our express wish to be shipped.
Shipping clerk: Then that will cost you some.
Melkor: (to Mairon) I will give my two remaining Silmarils, if you offer some of your jewelry.
Mairon: (to Melkor) Fine! But we should be shipped with dignity and utmost comfort. Takes off earrings and one of his necklaces.
Both lay their payment down on to the counter.
Shipping clerk: This should... (shielding their eyes) be sufficient. I can arrange for a container to be fitted for adequate lodging while you are in shipment.
Melkor and Mairon wait until their container is ready.
Shipping clerk: It is now ready when you are. Come with me.
They are shown to a cargo hold where a container stands open for them to enter. Melkor inspects the interior, there is an iron bed fixed to the floor, he like that.
Shipping Clerk: Now where do you want to be shipped to?
Mairon: Correct. We need a destination.
Melkor: Somewhere nice!
Shipping Clerk: Maybe the seaside?
Melkor: No! Ulmo's slime is unbecoming for us!
Mairon: Then suggest something else, shipper!
Shipping Clerk: Where are you from?
Mairon: The North. We have mountains and lots of snow. We like that.
Melkor: Yes! Mountains are good.
Shipping Clerk: Then I have just the place for you!
Melkor: Does it have mountains?
Shipping Clerk: Indeed, some beautiful ones! And the land is famously harsh. You will love it.
Mairon: That sounds acceptable. Proceed with the shipping!
Upon arrival the container doors are opened. The Dark Lords step out onto a white, biting cold landscape, mountains in front of them. The sun clings to the horizon.
Melkor: This is beautiful! And we are shipped, Mairon! We are very ship-able, those naysayers can choke on their feeble words!
Mairon: Do you wish for me to prepare seating for the naysayers?
Melkor: Yes! But first I want to look at those waddling, beaked creatures over there! Just look!
Mairon: They seem avian, but their wings are stunted! What are they?
Melkor: They are cute!