Work Text:
Dennis awoke wrapped in warm arms and a hard length pressing insistently into his lower back. For a moment, he basked in the simple luxury of the warmth of another body for a moment. It had been far too long since he had woken up with someone else in bed. Most of the time, he left in the middle of the night, never taking anyone back to his own apartment. He was considerate that way, aware of the thin walls. Unlike his roommate. One of the good things about being on night shift was that he didn’t have to hear Trinity and Yoyo going at it at all hours of the night anymore.
There was no alarm clock on the nightstand, not that Dennis had expected it. John wasn’t that much older than him, only thirty-three years old. He didn’t know a single person their age who still owned a physical alarm clock. Instead, he tried to reach for his phone to check the time, but his arms were trapped by John’s embrace.
Now that he was awake, Dennis’s bladder made itself known. He needed to get up—an impossible task without rousing the other man from his sleep. Dennis slowly wiggled until he was facing John, placing small kisses all over the other’s face. John’s face scrunched up before his eyes fluttered open. Confusion crossed his face for only a moment before the memories of the morning set in, and a smile began to spread across John’s face.
“Morning, angel.” Warm lips pressed against Dennis’s mouth, a simple hello after their first night together. “What time is it?”
“Dunno, couldn’t reach my phone.”
John leaned over Dennis, pressing the younger man into the mattress with his body weight. “According to your phone, it’s almost 5 pm. We have some time left before we have to get ready.”
John’s hard cock was pressing into Dennis’s hips, leaving a smear of precum behind. Dennis’s own cock had been hardening since he awoke and felt John’s hard length against his back. Now, with John’s body above him, his cock was weeping precum onto his stomach, painfully hard. “I have some ideas about what we might do in the meantime, angel.”
Dennis surged up, capturing John’s mouth with his, tongue immediately prodding and begging to be let inside. John obliged, lips parting to let the other enter. Their tongues danced around each other, chasing and exploring.
One of John’s hands wandered down Dennis’s body, stopping to play with his nipples before travelling further down. It passed by their weeping cocks, seeking instead Dennis’s hole, still slightly sore from their earlier activities. The tip of his finger grazed against Dennis’s hole, caressing the rim but not pushing in. John’s ministrations elicited a deep moan from the younger man, breaking their kiss with a gasp.
“Shh, angel. You need to be able to walk tonight. But don’t worry, I’ll take care of you.”
Slowly, John’s hand migrated back up, stopping to massage Dennis’s balls for a moment before continuing, his fingers gently tracing along the vein on the underside of Dennis’s cock. He wrapped his hand around both their cocks, forming a tight sleeve for them to fuck into. Precum eased their slide, cocks rubbing together with delicious friction. They set a quick rhythm, hips rutting together in their chase for relief.
John buried his head in the crook of Dennis’s neck, mouth gently suckling on the soft skin. It would leave a mark, low enough for Dennis to hide it under his scrub top. But Dennis would know it was there, the reminder of their night spent together.
The thought sent Dennis towards his orgasm at a rapid pace. Waves of pleasure washed over him, and he buried his teeth in John’s shoulder as the rising tide of pleasure overtook him. Hot spurts of cum shot out of his cock, covering John’s hand and Dennis’s stomach. The older man wasn’t far behind. A couple more strokes of his hand, and John’s cum was added to the mess between them. A sharp pain shot through Dennis’s shoulder, John’s teeth buried inside his skin as the older man slowly came back to himself.
John collapsed on top of Dennis, their chests heaving with exertion. Dennis’s fingers softly carded through John’s hair as their breathing evened out, peacefulness washing over them.
Dennis really needed to pee. His bladder was screaming at him, and John’s weight on top of him wasn’t helping at all.
“John.” No answer.
“Joooohn. Do not fall back asleep.”
A low whine was all the answer he got.
“We need another shower,” Dennis grumbled, starting to feel gross with their drying cum sticking to their skin, “And I need to pee. Sorry about the water bill.”
John shifted his body at Dennis’s words, voice slightly hoarse after his orgasm.
“Trust me, angel, I don’t mind. Not when I get you naked and wet in my home.”
A quick kiss, after which Dennis extracted himself and almost sprinted into the bathroom. John followed once he heard the toilet flush and pressed Dennis backwards into the shower. Thirty minutes and another orgasm for each of them later, the two men got dressed in fresh scrubs, readying themselves for the shift ahead.
“I have some leftover pasta in the fridge, if you want to eat something before work. Or we can pick up something on our way.”
Dennis's stomach growled at the mention of food. Two orgasms in such short succession had made him rather hungry. John chuckled at the sound and made his way into the kitchen to prepare their food.
Dennis followed behind and sat down on one of the chairs at the dining table. He watched John work as he prepared their plates, bathing in the domesticity of it all. Hopefully, there would be many more mornings like this. Or, in their case, thanks to their night shift schedule, afternoons.
A sleek, modern coffee machine caught Dennis’s eye. It was placed on one end of the granite countertop, out of the way of the rest of the kitchen appliances. It looked unused, as if John had just unpacked it a mere moment ago.
“You have a coffee machine?”
Perhaps Dennis shouldn’t be too surprised, but he simply couldn’t imagine John using it. Otherwise, why would he not make his own coffee instead of buying overpriced iced lattes every day?
“Yeah, only used it once though. When I moved in here, I had the great idea of teaching myself how to make all sorts of different coffees. Never got around to it.” John placed a plate with a steaming pile of pasta, chicken and cream sauce in front of Dennis. “But you’re welcome to make yourself some. I have enough thermos cups if you want to take one to work.”
“Thanks, I might just do that.”
They ate in comfortable silence, socked feet touching under the table. The food was delicious, the sauce had a supple spice to it that Dennis couldn’t place but enjoyed immensely. John was a talented cook, maybe they could cook something together one of these days. Dennis’s mother had taught him a lot of the family recipes; he’d like to share some of them with John.
The thermos cups turned out to be Stanley cups, which Dennis had only seen online when they went viral a couple of months ago. He hadn’t been able to buy one himself; the price tag was a bit too high for him. John apparently hadn’t had that problem, as six cups were lined up neatly in one of his kitchen cupboards. And to think he never used any of them.
Dennis grabbed the dark blue one, the same colour as John’s couch, and made his way to the coffee machine. It looked more expensive than anything Dennis and Trinity could hope to afford. Dennis was sure it was like the ones they used in coffee shops, just smaller. There was a coffee grinder, a steaming wand and more buttons than Dennis knew what to do with. A manual was tucked between the wall and the coffee machine, and he picked it up, flipping through the pages. All he wanted was black coffee, no need for the steaming wand. At least the compartment for the coffee beans was full, so Dennis didn’t have to rummage through the other kitchen shelves.
Eventually, he figured out how to grind the beans and which button to press to make a simple black coffee. He had to make two cups to fill up the Stanley before putting on the lid and placing it in his work bag.
When he stood back up, strong arms wrapped around Dennis from behind, and a warm body pressed in close against his.
“Hiya, angel. Figured out how to use it then?”
Dennis leaned back into John’s hold, relaxing into the other’s enticing body heat. “I did. If you give me enough time, I’ll figure out how to make one of your monstrosities.”
Dennis didn’t want to assume, but he hoped he’d be back in John’s apartment sooner than later.
“Monstrosities? You sound like Ellis.” Mock offence coloured John’s every word, and he blew raspberries into Dennis’s neck in protest.
It tickled horribly. Dennis tried to squirm away, but John’s hold was strong, keeping Dennis close as raspberries gradually turned into kisses. Low moans left Dennis’s mouth at the soft touch of John’s lips. He leaned his head to the side, giving John more room to work. The other man, however, refused to listen to Dennis's obvious request and instead stopped his ministrations. But not before he licked a thick stripe across Dennis’s neck, from his ear down to the neckline of his scrub top.
“Come on, we need to get going if we want to be on time.” A small slap to his ass made Dennis let out a high squeak, red blush spreading across his face. John laughed at him and sent a lewd wink towards him before grabbing both of their work bags. “Where did you put your overnight bag, angel?”
“Bedroom. Don’t worry, I got it.”
But John was faster, rushing through to the bedroom and coming out with Dennis’s overnight bag in hand. “Ready to go.” He looked proud of himself as he walked past Dennis to the small entrance area. Somehow, John managed to hold all three bags in one hand whilst putting on his shoes. He refused to put down any of the bags in case Dennis took the opportunity to carry them himself.
Fondness filled Dennis at the sight, and he could feel warmth blossoming in his chest. No one had ever been so determined to carry Dennis’s bag for him, such small gestures unfamiliar to the young man but decidedly not unwanted.
They stopped by Dunkin’ for John’s usual coffee order and made their way to work without any further delay.
Trinity greeted Dennis at the hub with her questioning gaze on the Stanley Cup in his hands. “Fancy, Huckleberry. Didn’t know we had those.”
Dennis looked around, panicked, hoping no one overheard them. “Keep your voice down, Trin.”
“Calm down. You simply found one at the thrift store, didn’t you?” She lowered her voice significantly, her next words intended for Dennis’s ears only. “Has he one of those super fancy coffee machines?”
Dennis answered, voice as low as Trin’s. “Even got a steaming wand. And the shower, Trin. You should’ve seen that.”
They broke out in giggles, earning themselves reprimanding looks from Dr Robby and Dana. Instead of continuing their private conversation, Trinity handed over her open cases, trusting Dennis to take care of them. She headed off to go home with Garcia, smiling at John as she passed him by.
During their shift, Dennis and John were the perfect picture of professionalism, even though Dennis wanted nothing more than to hold John’s hand while charting or walking through the ER. But he knew that wasn’t possible. Everything between them was new, and if they wanted a shot to make this work without HR making a fuss, they needed to keep their work and their private lives separate.
But the need to be close became unbearable around 2 am.
A young girl had come in with her parents, blonde pigtails swinging as she bounced excitedly on the bed, and a teddy bear in her hand. She had had an on again off again headache for the last couple of days, and nothing had helped.
One moment, she was sitting on the bed, talking to Dennis about her friends in kindergarten whilst they waited for her test results, and the next, a seizure overtook her, wracking her tiny body. Dennis still heard the parents' screams, begging him to do something. But there was nothing he could do.
She died.
The feeling and sound of her ribs breaking under Dennis’s hands as he did CPR would haunt him for the rest of his life.
Her fourth birthday was a week away.
Dennis allowed himself five minutes in the break room. Five minutes to cry, fall apart and put himself back together.
He couldn’t take longer.
It wasn’t him who had lost a child tonight.
It still hurt.
John found him after two minutes, wrapping Dennis in his arms, simply holding the younger man. He knew what it was like to lose a patient; they all did. But it was always harder when the patient was a child.
“Deep breaths, angel. Deep breaths for me.” With John’s help, Dennis’s breaths evened out, and his sobs subsided until only silent tears were running down his face.
In the end, it was Dennis who stepped back. He had to. He couldn’t stay in John’s embrace for the rest of the night, no matter how much he wanted it. There were more patients in need of help.
Dennis was in a daze for the rest of the shift. Usually, he’d complain about being sent to triage, but tonight he was grateful for it. When he finished with his latest patient, he was surprised to see Trinity standing at the hub. He was sure it was still too early for her to be here. But no, it was almost 7 am, his shift was ending. He could go home and grieve.
After their shift, John guided Dennis to his car, a steadying hand on his lower back. Dennis couldn’t remember the drive, only coming back to himself when the car stopped in front of his apartment building. The thought of being alone in the apartment filled him with dread. He couldn’t be alone right now, not after a shift like tonight.
Dennis gathered his remaining strength to speak, the words tumbling out of him in a tired jumble.
“Do you want to stay?”
Surprise showed on John’s face for only a second before he schooled his expression back to careful neutrality.
“Do you want me to stay?”
“Yes.” It was more a sob than anything resembling actual words as Dennis broke down in the passenger seat of John’s car. Tears and snot ran down his face as sobs wracked his body. He tried to wipe the worst of it away with his sleeves, but it was no use.
Suddenly, the passenger door opened, and John kneeled on the pavement, arms pulling Dennis toward him. “Shh, angel. I know. I know. Let’s go inside, mh?” John’s voice was shaking, hands desperately roving over Dennis, trying to calm the younger man down.
Dennis tried, he really tried to calm down. But the tears wouldn’t stop.
After a few more agonizing minutes, he calmed down enough to stand. John was a constant presence by his side, staying close, hands never leaving Dennis.
“Come on, we just gotta get our bags from the backseat.”
Dennis whimpered when one of John’s hands left his body to open the car’s back door. It was pathetic, but he couldn’t help himself. John hugged him close, all three bags in one hand, the other hand on Dennis’s neck. They stood on the pavement for a few long moments, until Dennis felt like he wouldn’t keel over the second John would let go of him.
Dennis didn’t know how he was able to guide them to the correct apartment. In front of the door, he fumbled with his keys, his hands shaking whilst putting the key in the lock. He silently prayed his room wasn’t too messy, he hadn’t planned on taking John back home today.
Dennis walked through the apartment to his room, trusting John to follow behind him. His bedroom was bathed in sunlight, the drapes wide open, illuminating every nook and cranny. His queen-sized bed was pushed against the wall opposite the door, his nightstand overflowing with books and magazines. The desk below his window was, by some miracle, tidier than usual, only some of his notes and his laptop spread across it. Thankfully, all his dirty clothes were in the hamper, and his wardrobe doors were closed, hiding the mess inside.
There weren’t too many decorations, somehow Dennis had never gotten around to buying them. Some part of his brain was still afraid he’d have to pack up and leave because Trinity had finally gotten sick of him. He knew his friend would never do that, but his months of homelessness had impacted him more than he’d like to admit.
Dennis sat on the edge of his bed, his entire body heavy with exhaustion. He heard the small thump of their bags being placed on the floor and felt his mattress sink when John sat down next to him.
“How are you holding up, angel?” John’s voice was soft, his dark eyes full of warmth as he studied Dennis.
Dennis took a moment to collect his thoughts before he answered. “I don’t know. Not really. Exhausted. Some cases hit harder than others.”
“How about we get you into bed then?”
Panic filled Dennis, his chest tight and heaving at his partner’s words. Was John going to leave him here alone?
“Hey, hey, angel. Talk to me.”
Tears streamed down Dennis’s face again, his surroundings blurred before his eyes. “You’re not staying?”
“Oh, angel. Of course I’ll stay. Come here.” John’s arms wrapped around him, cradling Dennis’s body against his chest. “Let’s get comfortable.”
Loving, steady hands helped Dennis up, guiding him out of his clothes until only his boxer shorts remained. John quickly took off his own clothes and ushered Dennis under the sheets before sliding in beside him. Dennis immediately latched onto John, wrapping his arms tightly around the other man and burying his face in his chest.
The scent of John’s cologne was still present, faint after a twelve-hour shift, mixed with the scent of sweat and something that was entirely John. Dennis inhaled deeply, tongue sticking out to lick the skin he could reach.
The older man was cradling Dennis’s head, his other hand drawing small circles on Dennis’s lower back. He had stopped crying at some point, soothed by John’s gentle hands and calming presence.
Dennis was glad John had stayed. He had been afraid it would be too much to ask after such a short time spent together, after his breakdown in the car. Dennis didn’t even know if they were exclusive or if John wanted to see other people as well. God, he hoped not. Dennis wasn’t made for an open relationship, and the thought of someone else touching John made him feel sick. He’d ask John later, after they had had time to rest.
***
Dennis awoke to an empty bed. Panic set in.
John had left him whilst he was sleeping, just sneaked out.
But no, John wouldn’t do that. When Dennis reached over, the sheets were still warm, as if someone had been lying there mere minutes ago. At that exact moment, the toilet flushed in Dennis’s ensuite bathroom, and a moment later, he heard the sink, and John walked out, as silently as he could.
When he saw that Dennis was awake, a smile spread across his face. “Sorry, angel. Did I wake you?”
“No, don’t worry.”
John slid back into bed, lying next to Dennis with only a few inches between them. “It’s only 3 pm. Do you want to order some food?”
John was already grabbing his phone and opening a delivery app. Dennis huddled closer, head resting on John’s chest so that he could look at the screen.
“What are you in the mood for? Pizza?”
“No. Maybe something lighter.”
Endless delivery options scrolled past the screen as John looked for their dinner, finally settling on a local Thai restaurant. They ended up ordering fish soup and sticky mango rice since John insisted on something sweet for dessert.
“How are you feeling, angel?”
“Better. I’ll be okay, darling. It was just,” deep breaths, in and out, he didn’t want to cry again, “she was so young. There’s a reason I didn’t go into Peds.” Dennis chuckled at his own weak joke, a pathetic try for levity.
Judging by John’s reaction, it didn’t work. His arm around Dennis tightened, and his chest rose with a deep inhale. “Yeah, I get that. Every time a kid walks in the ER, I want to walk the other way. Let someone else take care of them. But I can’t do that.” He paused for a moment, hand squeezing Dennis’s side. “We have to do our best, we owe it to our patients. And sometimes our best isn’t enough. It sucks, it hurts, it makes you want to scream.
But we move on, keep on going. Every patient lost will stay with you, especially when it’s a child. It keeps you humble. Just don’t let it scare you. Being scared will make you question yourself and waste valuable seconds. You can’t do that in the ER.”
There were times Dennis forgot John was an attending. That he had years of experience that Dennis was still missing. His usual nonchalance at work hid the fact that John had seen more than he let on. He had lost patients just like any one of them, and he carried them with him, somewhere deep inside himself. Dennis hoped one day John might share some of his burdens with Dennis. But that was for another day.
“Thank you.”
“Anytime, angel.”
They lay in silence, the quiet between them fragile in the sun's golden light. Dennis didn’t dare speak, too scared to shatter the calm surrounding them. What could he say to John? He didn’t think the other man was religious. Not in the way Dennis was.
They couldn’t stay in the quiet forever, no matter how much Dennis wanted them to.
The doorbell rang. Their delivery driver had arrived with their food. John extracted himself from Dennis’s embrace, and Dennis was proud to say that he didn’t whine at the loss. Maybe a little. Dennis knew he had to get up and help John with the food. But his body felt heavy, unwilling to move on its own. He closed his eyes against the sun.
A shadow cast over Dennis’s face. John was back, ready to get Dennis out of bed.
“Come on, angel. I don’t know where anything is in your kitchen.” Dennis let himself get dragged out of bed, John’s hands a steady guidance.
His and Trinity’s kitchen wasn’t big, but everything had its place. Their logic in organizing the kitchen made sense to them, but Dennis could understand why someone else would be confused. Garcia had complained multiple times, but Dennis and Trin wouldn’t change it. Having the mugs under the sink, plates next to the microwave and cutlery in the top shelf did make perfect sense, thank you very much.
They enjoyed their dinner, simply sitting together and slowly eating. It was weird seeing John at their dining table. For some reason, Dennis hadn’t thought John would ever be here, in Dennis’s home, eating soup with a spoon, Trinity or Dennis had probably taken from some restaurant. It should be ridiculous. But at the same time, it made perfect sense.
Just like the mugs under the sink.