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Benedict pulled away from his kiss to speak to Sophie. “If you wish me to leave, I will. But the truth is, I stay away because you consume me.”
“My eyes search for you in every room I enter. My heart beats for you when you are near. The reality of you has become more tantalising than any fantasy ever could be, and one I cannot live without.”
“Benedict.” She whispered against him. She could barely believe the words he was speaking to her. If only he knew how much of a fantasy she was in his eyes. If only he knew who she really was to him.
He chuckled. “I meant it when I said you deserve better, and I am determined to give it to you and more.” His breath lingered on the last word.
“Sophie” He said, almost hitching his breath into a whine. “Be my wife.”
She was still hazy after her afterglow, his words ringing in her ears like a dream she was having far away.
This was interrupted by a sharp call from Celia downstairs. “Are you coming, Sophie? We’re waiting for you!”
She gasped and scrambled to think of something. “Do forgive me! I-”
Benedict squeezed her hand gently and looked at her with longing eyes. “Please do not go.” He begged softly.
Her heart fluttered across her ribcage like a bird trapped against bars. She wanted more than anything to take off and try to understand what was flying through her head, but somehow she managed to let her lips form words.
“I am suddenly not feeling my best!” She called back, "I think I shall retire to bed so I do not take ill tomorrow!”
“Are you quite sure? We might not get a night off for quite some time!” Celia called back.
“Yes!” She said a little too quickly. “Yes, I am quite sure! Please go on without me!”
The two of them waited, their bodies pressed against each other, until they could hear the sound of Celia’s footsteps fade from audible to a whisper, until it was finally a distant memory.
“You wanted to stay.” He smiled and laughed into her skin. “You really stayed.”
“I-” She hesitated and slightly pushed him away. “I cannot marry you.”
His face instantly fell. “I do not understand- Do you not feel the way I feel?”
“Of course I do! But we are from two different worlds! You do not wish to marry me. I am only a maid.”
“That does not matter to me.” He said, tears starting to bloom out of the corner of his eyes.
“It will to your mother. It will matter to all your brothers and sisters, not to mention the ton and the entire society in which we live!”
“Sophie, please” He begged. “I will do anything to marry you. I do not care what they think. I have spent so long trying to break away from society, when now all I want is to be free with you. Please.”
“You cannot mean that.” She could feel herself on the verge of crying. “Your poor mother has wanted you to marry for so long, and you want to settle for someone like me? She will be devastated if you do not marry a wealthy lady. A lady that you deserve!”
“Who could she possibly see is better suited to me than you? Would she have me marry the mysterious lady in silver who does not even exist?” He asked, trying to hold his tears back.
Sophie let her eyes fall to the floor. “She does exist.”
“Oh, Sophie.” He held her chin up. “My mother cannot force my hand, no matter how better suited she feels I may be to another. Even if she did find this lady, it is you that I love. Forget the world, I beg of you. You are my world completely.”
“Benedict- I-” She faltered. She knew she had to tell him. “What do you remember about your lady from the ball?”
“Sophie, please. I do not wish to discuss this.” His heart felt like it was being wounded with every excuse she levelled at why he should not love her.
“Benedict, I need you to answer me.” She cut in. “What do you remember about her?”
“She- She really does not matter.” He said, “I know that she wore silver. She wore gloves from an old family; she liked deep water. Grew up in London but cannot dance. Read Whistledown. So what?”
She smiled slightly, but her eyes crinkled in a way that showed her sorrow.
“I like deep water. I cannot dance. I have read every Whistledown, and I grew up in London. I snuck into the masquerade, wearing my previous employer’s dress, shoes and gloves.” She finally dared to look him in the eye.
The pieces were coming together. The moonlight from the window seeped in and danced across her face, mimicking the way the candlelit chandeliers did so long ago. Her lips smiled in a way that was so familiar, but now was no longer a memory or fantasy, but real and right in front of him.
How foolish he had been. Searching for a love that had always been here.
“That’s why I couldn’t find you.” He breathed. “I went to Penwood House, but you weren’t there.”
“I was there!” She gasped, “I could hear you from the drawing room talking to Miss Posy! I couldn’t just interrupt, you were so kind to her-”
He interrupted her by peppering kisses across her forehead, his tears really were beginning to flow down his face. “-But all I was looking for was you! Oh, how I looked for you, my darling. Please believe me that I looked. I am so foolish to miss what was right in front of me. Please, please find it in your heart to forgive me. Forgive me for how I have missed what was right in front of me for so long that I ended up falling in love with you twice.”
She started to let tears fall down her cheeks. He truly had fallen for her two times over, even if he was too foolish to understand it.
“Oh, Benedict, believe me, I would do anything to marry you, but we cannot. I know how much you wanted your lady in silver, but this is all I am, all your lady in silver is. A woman without a title. A lady of no means. A maid.”
He held her hands against his chest and looked at her so deeply in the eyes she could almost swear she could see his soul behind them. “Sophie, I know you may believe that I am shattered upon finding out that my lady in silver is not a noblewoman, but my love for you has only deepened.”
He kissed the tears that were falling down her cheeks before wiping the rest away with his fingertips.
“Please do not cry. I could not bear it.”
“I love you so much, but that is why this between us must end. I cannot rob you of a future you rightly deserve. You will surely fall for another lady-” She tried to finish her sentence, but her sobs broke out, and she found it choking up her throat.
“Oh, my love, my darling, please do not cry.” He pulled her in close and let her tears wet his shoulder. He took in a breath, the cogs turning in his head.
“Please listen to me. You and I can have a life together. I will buy you any dress your heart desires, be it white or silver. We can run back to my cottage. We can make it ours. We can elope together and make a life for each other there. We can be in charge of any destiny we so choose!”
She removed her head from his shoulder and faced him. “You would do this for me?”
“I would do anything you desired, so long as it meant being with you.” He placed another kiss on her forehead and her eyelids.
She hesitated. “You would have to leave your family. The entire life you have ever known.”
“The only life I want is one with yours, by my side. That is all I wish to know.” He said, knowingly. “Besides, I must confess, once my family finds out you are my lady in silver, I do not think they will have anything to say about it. I dare say my mother might actually rush us down the altar to marry once she hears of our unbelievable story.”
“You really think so?” She laughed, wiping the last of her tears away.
“Even if she does not, she has never been able to resist the allure of a love match, and I have never been able to resist the allure of you.” He took in a breath “Please, Sophie, will you marry me?”
“Of course I will. So long as you will have me.” He had never seen her smile so much. It filled his heart with so much joy.
“Always.” He murmured across her skin. “So long as you shall also have me.”
She kissed him again, with more confidence than she had ever had in her entire life. It bubbled at the surface of her skin, making her desire feel all the more sinful than she knew what to do with.
“My love, there is nothing I want more than to kiss you at this moment, but I must confess I don’t have everything I need with me right now.”
“What do you mean?” She asked, pulling away from him.
He laughed but whined slightly. “I am already not starting our engagement very well. Please forgive me, my love. I know I am already asking a lot. It appears I have left your ring in my room.”
Her eyes widened. “You bought me a ring?”
“Of course I did! I cannot exactly ask you to marry me without a thought for a ring, now, could I? And yet now I am a fool, in my haste to come get you, forgetting the damned thing entirely."
She laughed. “Oh, Benedict. You really are forgetful.”
“Come with me quickly, I’ll fetch it at once.” He said. They joined their hands and rushed through the house, conveniently missing any room that might be occupied in their haste.
He rushed them both into his room in a whisper as he quickly located a small silver box that had been left on his desk. He opened it up before her, not before realising he should do this the proper way and get down on one knee in his haste.
“I had it designed by myself; I drew a few outlines. If it is not to your liking, I can have a dozen other types made- Whatever you shall please-”
“No!” She exclaimed. “It is so perfect. I adore it, truly.” She slipped it onto her finger, and it was somehow a perfect fit. She wondered how that could even be.
He watched her admire her new ring with blossoming desire and admiration. He leaned up behind her and pressed himself up against her back.
“Sophie, my dear, may I ask you something?” He whispered, almost nibbling on her ear.
“Yes- of course.” She replied.
“I am so glad you adore this ring, but I must confess there is something else I would love to see you do with it.” He could feel himself growing painfully hard, even before he had told her what he wanted.
A rosy blush spread once more over her face. “Yes, Benedict?”
“Could I see you in just this ring and absolutely nothing else?” He trailed kisses down her face and neck.
A shy smile crept across her face. “Of course, but only if you shall do the same.”
Both of them began to pull at each other's clothes in between fighting kisses, tearing them off each other like ravenous animals, desperately hungry for the taste of each other's flesh.
As quick as they were to begin, the quicker they had finished, as Sophie’s dress lay tossed upon the floor and Benedict’s shirt and breeches were a million miles away from them.
He marveled in her beauty, her naked frame, the gorgeous woman who stood before him, glowing under the candlelight that illuminated his room. She was so beautiful that he was rendered speechless. He wanted to keep this moment inside his mind forever, a perfect memory of this night.
“Sophie” He breathed, kissing her from her mouth and letting it walk up to her fingertips. “You are an enigma, a beauty to which I have never seen before.”
She, too, was taking in him as well. He was as handsome as she had pictured him late at night, perhaps even better than her dreams, because his skin was flushed hot, and it wasn’t a dream. It was rea,l and both of them desperately wanted each other.
He hesitated for a moment. “My darling, may I draw you?”
She turned her head in confusion. “You wish to draw me?”
He walked over to his desk and opened a drawer, exposing the sketches he had made of her. “I must confess I have already drawn some, but I’ve only pulled them from my dreams. But this time, I would love to have one with you, really here.”
“Am I your muse?” She chuckled, flicking through the loose papers. He really had dreamed of her day and night. He had captured her so beautifully that she felt incredibly touched.
“Of course, you have always been. Every seedling of delight, every foundation of love, you have been there. I’ve just been too foolish to notice it until now.” He took her hand and kissed it.
“May I?” He gestured towards his charcoal sticks and paper.
She nodded and lay down on his soft bed, turning towards him as he took a seat at his desk. She smiled, suddenly feeling rather shy at her exposed self.
“You look so beautiful.” He said, his hands flickering against the page, to commit her figure to paper as quickly as he could.
From the corner of her eye, she could spot that he was hard and pressed up against a drawer of his desk. No matter how much he wanted to commit this moment to a canvas, he wanted her much more desperately. She wondered how he wasn’t rutting against the desk, desperate to find his pinnacle of pleasure.
“Sophie.” He asked, his eyes still on his paper. “Would you touch yourself?”
A small breath escaped her throat. “Pardon me?”
He looked up at her, breathing out like it took every fibre of his being to not touch her himself. “Pleasure yourself, please. I want to see it. Let me draw you at the height of ecstasy so I can always remember it.”
She nodded slowly, letting her fingers trail down her body. She started with her neck, slowly cascading her touch across her breasts, a gentle hum escaping her lips as she fluttered her hands across her nipples.
She continued down her chest, across her stomach, until she settled her hand in the apex between her thighs.
Benedict glanced back up at her, his eyes filled with lust and longing. “Go on.” He coaxed. “Please.”
She averted her gaze, slowly letting her embarrassment flutter away into pleasure as her touch danced away at the delicate folds between her legs. She continued to slowly circle her most sensitive spot, similar to the way he had touched her just before.
Little moans and breaths escaped her lips as she closed her eyes, noticing nothing but the furious sound of rushing charcoal across paper. He couldn’t fly his hand across the page fast enough.
She continued touching herself, opening her eyes every now and then to watch her beloved go mad with his hand across the page, his other hand periodically moving down to stroke himself, groaning each time he did.
Just as she was about to reach her peak, he suddenly sprang up from his chair and ran over to her, removing her hands from herself and bringing himself in to kiss her.
“You’ll have to forgive me for leaving out a few details.” He murmured to her, “I simply cannot stay away from you much longer.”
“-Benedict!” She squealed. “I was nearly-”
“Forgive me, my love. Please forgive me.” He whined. “I want you to come undone by me.”
He continued to kiss her, moving down slowly from her lips, to her neck, stomach and finally spread apart her legs. He painted kisses across them before letting his head find its place between them. He only needed to put his mouth against her for a few moments until he finally got what he desired.
She cried out, reaching her pinnacle, squeezing her thighs against his face, much to his delight, digging his fingertips against her supple flesh. His tongue continued to lap at her, only increasing the wave of pleasure she rode out. He himself was in heaven, one of his own making, wishing he could stay in it forever.
She lay her head to the side, breathless, wheezing as she attempted to catch her breath again. Benedict brought himself back up to her, kissing her so deeply that she could taste herself on his lips. She found it quite seductive, although she was a little too hazy to admit that outright.
“Benedict- I’ve never-” She slowly began to confess. “I’ve never done anything like this before.”
He chuckled. “That is quite all right. We can take it slow. I’ll guide you through everything.”
“What can I do for you?” She asked. “Surely you must want to do more than just watch and kiss me.”
He groaned. “You have no idea. There is nothing I want more right now than to make love to you.”
She whimpered a little under her breath. “I would very much like that too.”
He kissed her again, tenderly. “I shall be gentle, my darling bride. Tell me if it is too much for you.”
She nodded eagerly, holding his hair in her hands. He kissed her forehead once more before adjusting himself up against her, going as slow as possible so as not to hurt her.
Gently, he entered her, groaning at how soft and wet she felt against him. Sophie squealed under her breath, gasping and holding him tighter against her, almost like she was afraid to let go.
“You feel so good, Sophie.” He whimpered. “So, so good.” He was struggling to hold on. “Is this alright? Is it to your liking?”
“Yes, yes, of course.” The words fell off her lips. She didn’t know what else to say, or really what else to think. Her mind was only filled with thoughts of pleasure, and her veins felt as if they were full of nothing but love.
“I will start moving, but please tell me if it becomes too painful. I shall stop immediately.” He promised.
She nodded, awaiting the new sensation. It washed over her like a new spring rain, wonderful and freeing. Her hands gripped his back tighter as he moved his hips in tune with her pleasure, moaning together as both of them worked to feel good against each other.
“Sophie, Sophie, Sophie.” He moaned, thrusting himself into her as much as he could.
It sounded like a prayer, the way he called to her, the way he was consumed with her at the very core of his soul.
“I- I don’t think I last too much longer.” He confessed, slowing his movements.
She laughed against his skin that was starting to bead with sweat. “That is alright. You certainly have given me more pleasure than I could ever have asked for.”
He shook his head. “I promise as your husband always to give you this, and tenfold. You deserve all the happiness and pleasure you desire, and I intend to make good on that vow.”
She kissed him deeply again. “I shall hold you to that, along with my own vow.”
He sped up once more, both of them moaning against each other until he quickly pulled out of her and released himself onto the sheets next to her, groaning loudly at the pleasure that overwhelmed him.
He turned back over to Sophie, embracing her gently against his chest.
In this moment, it didn’t matter what the world could think of them, nor even how hard it may be for them to make their union a possibility. All that mattered was that they were here, and they were husband and wife in their own heart and souls.