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Paul wasn’t sure why he thought this was a good idea. He wasn’t a very… outwardly sexual guy. Not that he didn’t like sex, but he just wasn’t chasing tail or throwing himself into one night stands just because he felt the urge. He’d had sex when he was a teen, but being an adult? It seemed to fizzle out. His hand and toys could stave off most of the emotions he felt relating to lacking in this department, but there was one thing he just couldn’t shake. He wanted to be… vulnerable.
It was a true and rare bliss to shut his brain off fully. He’d hit that sub space once or twice with exes, and he’d managed to hit it only one time by himself before he inevitably had a sub drop from being lonely. And he really didn’t have anyone to be intimate with.
Emma definitely seemed like someone who could help him, but her commitment issues and his nervous nature left him far too anxious to propose the idea. Bill was sweet, but he couldn’t imagine him treating him as rough as Paul wanted. Anyone else who came to mind just wasn’t his type— and those who were, he just didn’t think they’d accept.
It was probably how Paul found his way onto a website that boasted anonymous hook ups for subs and doms one late night. It was essentially like a dating website, though no real names were attached, and any pictures on profiles purposefully left faces out of pictures. He thought it was stupid, taking the introductory test for what he was looking for and setting up his bland profile listing his age, height, sex, and other details he thought others might want to know. None of it was explicit, though he did state he was interested in someone who would be rough with him as he submitted.
Paul really didn’t think he’d get a reply.
But an hour later, after Paul had finished eating some take out and returning to his laptop to relax and watch some videos, he saw the tab had a notification in its title. A mix of anxiety and excitement clung to his skin as he slowly clicked the tab, seeing someone had matched with him and even sent him a message.
Spankoff69: Hey there.
Short and direct. Paul liked that. It wasn’t artificial, and at least he didn’t have to read some cheesy pick up line.
GoldenFace1986: Hi.
There, a simple reply to show he was interested but not over eager. Or maybe… maybe it was too short. Should he have copied what they said? Or maybe asked how they were? What if they thought he was an absolute asshole, and he got blacklisted off the site? What if—
Spankoff69: I see you’re new. You ever been on a website like this before?
Paul heaved a sigh of relief. Even if it was cutting to the chase, he did like that this person wasn’t asking for sex immediately, and they were attempting a friendly conversation.
GoldenFace1986: No, I haven’t… I’m new to all of this really, but I’m hoping I can find something out of this.
He clicked over to Spankoff69’s account, surprised to see that there were rather nice photos. One with arms crossed in front of his chest as he leaned against a railing, and the sleeves of his shirt rolled off to show the definition and spattering of dark arm hair he had. Another showed off his torso in a loud Hawaiian shirt. He’d unbuttoned most of it, and it pulled around him to the side while his hand held a bottle of beer and a cigarette. The rest of the pictures followed a similar theme, tasteful pictures that gave hints to what laid beneath all while ensuring his head had been cropped out of the pictures.
If Paul was honest, beyond reading the short bio (A Mexican Polish American male in his mid-thirties) he had gotten a bit lost ogling the man. He almost missed the notification as the other direct messages him something new.
Spankoff69: Hah, cute.
Paul’s heart fluttered.
Spankoff69: I’ve been in the scene for a few years, but this is the first year I’ve tried this out. Though I gotta admit, you’re the first person who’s really caught my eye.
Oh..! He had caught his eye? It was… surprising. Everything about Paul was average. He was bland, like a packet of oatmeal made with skim milk. Flavorless unless an external factor added something that changed him. Though Paul rarely, if ever, found anyone like that.
GoldenFace1986: Really? I’m flattered. Your profile is very interesting. And I appreciate the lack of nudes… I’ve been startled one too many times.
There was nothing wrong with being sex positive and open to showing off if that was what someone wanted, but the website did not censor or add any warnings to profiles or pictures. Sometimes a profile would be completely normal, and then surprise! A vagina splayed open or someone holding their penis to show it off at full erection. It had definitely left Paul flustered every time, and he was thankful that he had at least one account he could safely browse.
Spankoffs69: Don’t wanna ruin the surprise! It’s all about the mystery! Would you rather be given a gift without the wrapping paper, or would you like it to be a slow reveal at your own pace?
Paul snorted at that. What a fucking dork. Paul was definitely not cool, but it was just dorkish enough that Paul could recognize it.
GoldenFace1986: Haha, that’s very fair. I’m glad you like what I have on my account… Even if it’s not very varied.
Spankoff69: Hey, business fancy can be cute. Though maybe try a different color suit.
All of his pictures were of the same outfit he wore day to day to the office. Dress slacks, a white button up tucked into the waist band, a blazer, and his tie. Black and white were the only colors he ever seemed to sport, and it matched the dull repetition of his life.
GoldenFace1986: I suppose I could… I’m just a bit of a stickler for routine. It’s something in my brain… My nephew said something about “neurodivergency” and “change”? I’m honestly not 100% sure of what he was trying to convey, but he said that it causes me issues with changing what I am comfortable with… Which seems true since it took me so long to even manage making this account.
Spankoff69: Yeah? I can get that.
Spankoff69: My little brother has issues with change too in the same vein. But if you’re worried about me forcing you or anything, don’t worry. I just think you’d look pretty in more colors. Or maybe nothing at all ;)”
Was… Was he flirting? Sure, the website was essentially Paul’s attempt to find someone to dominate him, but he hadn’t expected anyone to attempt to flirt at him. It was… weirdly nice, even if it was cheesy.
GoldenFace1986: I appreciate the flattery, but is it alright if we go slow..? I know the point of the website is for hook ups and such, but I’m hoping to build rapport with someone before going and meeting them.
Paul watched the chat bubble appear and disappear a few times, showing that the other man was texting and deleting whatever it was he wanted to say. Maybe he was finding the best way to tell Paul to fuck off? He wouldn’t be surprised.
Spankoff69: We absolutely can go slow. I might be a flirty sleazeball, but I’m a respectful one.
Paul actually laughed. It was a startled out noise as he hadn’t expected the other man to say anything like that about himself. It was sweet how he seemed to genuinely care about Paul’s comfort.
Spankoff69: You want to start with discussing things about ourselves then? We don’t have to say anything we don’t want to share. Anonymity or whatever, you know?
GoldenFace1986: Thank you, I appreciate it… Is there anything I can call you for now? Spankoff69 doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue…
Spankoff69: Hah. Call me T, if that works for you?
GoldenFace1986: T… Okay, then call me P. That way we don’t have to say our usernames if we want to be direct.
Spankoff69: Damn, and here I thought I could brag about connecting with Goldenface from The Office
That made Paul’s eyes light up. He understood his reference?? That was… amazing!
GoldenFace1986: You like The Office too??
Instantly, it became a long, rambling conversation (mostly on Paul’s end) about the television show and their favorite characters. T was content with listening it seemed, and he always asked follow up questions, which made Paul feel comfortable enough to discuss the show as extensively as he did. No one ever showed interest like this before when it came to his rambling over his own interests. It was a solid twenty minutes before he realized what he had done, and he instantly felt mortified. Even if T had encouraged it, he still felt like he’d talked too long and that the other man was being polite.
GoldenFace1986: Oh god, I just realized I’ve been on a tangent, I’m so sorry!
Spankoff69: Why are you apologizing? I liked seeing you talk about it. It’s cute.
There was that word again. Cute. T thought he was cute for something many people usually perceived as annoying. It was… kind of surreal to him.
GoldenFace1986: You’re very kind, T…
His eyes flicked to the time. Fuck, it was getting late. He had work in the morning. He let out an annoyed exhale and typed again.
GoldenFace1986: I’m so sorry, I just realized the time. I have work in the morning, so I have to log out for the night.
Spankoff69: Don’t worry about it, sweetheart. Talk to you tomorrow?
Holy shit. T wanted to talk to him still. He wanted to continue…whatever this was blossoming between them. A giddy grin split Paul’s lips as he nervously glided his hands across the keyboard.
GoldenFace1986: I’d really like that. Good night, T.
Spankoff69: Goodnight, P.
Paul felt like a teenager all over again. He was smiling dumbly to himself, face flushed a soft pink as he closed his laptop. Something about this mysterious T made his insides twist in excitement. Even with the crude username, he was so polite and sweet. It was a lot better than what Paul thought he was going to experience on a website like that.
His laptop was tucked away in its designated spot before he padded off to his bed in order to sleep. His face pressed against the pillow, his smile much smaller but very much present at the moment. Yeah, this was nice. He couldn’t wait for what tomorrow would bring.