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It’s one of those stilted murky halfdays. The weather outside is nice; Bleaching sun, cloudless and dappled shadows from the gently swaying trees. It feels wrong that they’re inside but none of them want to go outside. Not today at least.
Yuuji had gone on a run. He’d come back smelling like salt, hair slicked back with sweat in a way that Megumi knows he hates. Sukuna is still fresh on everyone's minds. For a while Yuuji took to wearing hats, or keeping his hood up. Until Nobara made fun of him for being ‘emo’. Untying his shoes, he’d sent Megumi a wobbly sort of smile, tired under the guise that he had gone for a run, and had left to go shower. Nobara was playing with her tamagoyaki that Yuuji had made when he’d restlessly woken at… 4am? Megumi thinks.
“Did you hear him wake up?” Megumi questions. Nobara looks up from where she is prodding the egg, a sort of an unsettling yellow if you stare at it too long. Sucked on her teeth in irritation. She is in lounge-wear, loose comfortable pants and a matching long sleeve top with little Usagi’s patterned on them. Her eyepatch is stark against the soft colors and shapes she’s wearing.
“Yeah.” She doesn’t add anything but she has a dark circle under her one visible eye and Megumi wonders if any of them went back to sleep after Yuuji had left the building in a clamoring frenzy. She pokes the egg again and it sort of wiggles. Megumi’s stomach twists in ardent protest. He tastes something bitter behind his teeth.
It’s hard to believe sometimes, that it’s only been four weeks. It feels both infinitely closer and like everything has happened centuries ago.
Two nights ago, Megumi thinks he had one of the better days in his life. The next day he had woken up, rushed to the bathroom and emptied his stomach. Clutching the toilet with a firm grip shaking through blurry teary eyes. He’d felt wrong and ill to the pit of his stomach. Waves of nausea that didn’t come from anything he’d eaten but something more ingrained in him, nothing he could easily nor simply expel. Footsteps, two of them; a loud curse and a quiet concerned murmur. Yuuji had knelt next to him, radiating heat in an old Track T-shirt, he looked soft and rumpled and achingly tired. A hand had found its way tentatively to his back, a gentle rubbing between his shoulders. Hesitant still, like he was afraid he’d break Megumi or something. Nothing like the firm buoyant slaps on the shoulder or easy contact from before.
It sort of felt like, after everything, they'd just been through, they’d been locked in here to go slowly crazy.
Megumi had lost his appetite. He was still recovering his strength so he didn’t even have the energy needed to run around and do house chores like Yuuji. Nobara hadn’t shopped, hadn’t mentioned shopping. She spent a lot of time in her room, on her phone. Sometimes on especially motivated days she worked on her depth perception. Yuuji was a whirlwind. He liked to cook them meals, he went running around the campus, he weeded the garden, it clearly wasn’t enough if this 4am morning explosion showcased anything.
“Goodmorning!” Yuuji greets, stepping into the dining room. He smiled with his whole face and the scar on his lip crinkled, pulling at the skin, stiff and obstinate, like it wanted to prevent him from fully smiling. Megumi didn’t think the scars did anything to ruin Yuuji’s appearance but he suddenly hated that little scar, it wasn’t healed right so it was tight and it tended to make Yuuji’s mouth pull down just a little. Like he was frowning. Yuuji was wearing the orange and black zip-up he’d worn when they’d gone to Hikari’s fighting ring. It looked nice on him, not many people could pull off orange.
“Ugh.” Nobara groaned, rubbing the bridge of her nose, before looking up and squinting. “What in the Naruto inspired outfit is this?”
“Ahh really you think?” Yuuji hummed tugging at the lower part of his sweater self-consciously.
“It literally even has a black neck, you’re just missing the stupid red Uzumaki.” Nobara exclaimed in affront. She pointed her chopsticks at him rudely. “This seems a little on the nose.” For some reason that made Yuuji smile for real, eyes crinkling in amused mirth.
“I never got to finish Naruto all the way.” He said. “I watched it with my grandpa when I visited him a lot.” He says it with characteristic softness. Yuuji has found a way to grieve without bitterness. His grief isn’t the acidic corroded darkness that Megumi’s is, it’s almost gentle. Megumi doesn’t know how or why he’s like this.
“I haven’t watched Naruto.” Megumi divulges, knowing it’ll get something of a reaction but still not prepared for what follows.
“At all!?” Yuuji exclaims after the needlessly long silence that stretches uncomfortable and prickly. Nobara’s still blinking, seemingly in shock.
“I've even watched Naruto and I don’t even really like anime!” She finally musters.
“Shut up.” Yuuji groans. “You like anime, you’re just embarrassed that you do.” Nobara sputters but before she can come up with anything Yuuji rounds back on Megumi with a frightening determination. Megumi idly wonders if this is what Sukuna saw before Yuuji punched him with roughly 8 consecutive black flashes. “You’ve never watched Naruto? Not even a little bit?”
“I mean I’ve seen clips of it I guess? On advertisements or artwork. I know what Naruto is.” Nobara pushes away her tamagoyaki, saying something under her breath and leaving the room, Megumi takes a moment to process the fact that Nobara actually left the room over the fact that he didn’t watch an anime but Yuuji isn’t done with him.
“Can you name any characters besides Naruto?” The answer is yes. 1. Kakashi. And that’s because Gojo also liked Naruto and claimed he liked Kakashi. ‘It’s the sensei-sensei bond you know?’ Gojo had explained. Megumi was only half paying attention. Tsumiki was nodding politely and nudged Megumi’s arm so he’d continue his math, which was frankly more interesting than Gojo’s in depth analysis on why he understood all the ‘cool awesome sensei’s in anime. Like Koro-Sensei!’ He wasn’t going to explain all of that to Yuuji though.
“Uhh, Obito.” Megumi said, floundering. Gojo had mentioned him too. Yuuji got a weird sort of squint between his eyebrows. Megumi wondered if Gojo had talked to Yuuji about Naruto, about Kakashi, and Obito and Itachi and whoever else the ridiculous man liked. Megumi wondered if Obito was some niche character or something that Gojo had been really into but wasn’t super popular so by saying Obito Megumi had outed himself as someone who occasionally listened to Satoru Gojo’s mad rambles.
“Do you even know what an Uchiha is?” What?
“Is that a type of pokemon?”
“Megumi.” Yuuji breathed, sounding a mix between horrified and awed. “You live in Japan, how do you not know this?”
“Yuuji.” Megumi said mimicking his tone ever so slightly, before realizing that was too childish for him and stopping, settling for narrowing his eyes instead. “It’s just an anime–”
“Boys!!!” The voice was accompanied by a hard bang. Nobara had the bad habit of hitting walls, open palmed like she was summoning them. It really had been too quiet without her. “Come here!”
‘Here’ ended up being the student lounge, the couch, a table set up in front of them where Nobara was setting her computer. They used to have a TV but apparently Yuuji had broken it week one. They didn’t talk about it. (Yuuji and Nobara hadn’t told him exactly what had happened). She looks up when they enter the room, focus etched across her face when she looks at Megumi and a gleeful understanding passes between her and Yuuji. Yuuji herds him to the couch.
“We should get a new TV.” Yuuji says, watching Nobara adjust her computer with a bit of guilt.
“With whose money?” Nobara snipes back. “The school is still dealing with wills, finances, who gets what, what should we do, all the bureaucracy nonsense.”
“I could get a job.” Yuuji proposes watching her. Megumi stamps down the spike of annoyance he feels at that. The Higher ups– the new ones, who’ve somehow clamored from the ground like insistent cockroaches– don’t particularly like Yuuji. They don’t particularly like any of them really. But mainly they hate Yuji, Yuta, Hikari and Maki. Although not actually on house arrest, it’s an implied ‘stay here until we know what to do with you.’ Megumi is pretty sure Yuuji is at least slightly aware of that fact. Nobara knows, it’s making her more quick tempered than usual, staying in place is reminding her of being back in the repressive countryside. The world around them is changing and reshuffling and the helpful advice that has been given to them is to ‘rest and recover while we figure everything out.’ Like they’re still just kids. Like they didn’t have a hand in everything, for better or for worse.
Yuta managed to take a deal that let him out of the suffocating chains of Japan, he’s back in Africa with Miguel and he’s managed to take all the second years with him. Megumi doesn’t blame him for leaving them, Yuta had felt guilty, when he’d broken the news he’d averted his eyes lowering his head a bit in apology so that Megumi could see the neat scars stitched across his forehead. Yuta was diffident for someone so strong, and the apology was very real. Megumi had forgiven him easily, and Nobara had only stayed mad because Yuta had taken Maki with him. Megumi doesn’t know what Yuuji thinks of it, he’d given Yuta a hug goodbye, there’d been tension there. Megumi doesn’t think it’s anything as foolish as anger, but there remains; something. Megumi knows if there ever was any actual trouble, if Yuta thought leaving them behind in Japan would put them in danger, he would have certainly found a way to take them with him. That being said, he’s left them behind to discomfort.
His attention is drawn back when Nobara snaps a finger in his face. Her nails used to always be painted, just a clear coat, neatly buffed. They’re not anymore.
“I can’t believe you’ve never watched Naruto.” Nobara is complaining loudly as she fiddles with the little computer. Yuuji is nodding now, with a stricken look on his face, like this compares, in any way, to the tragedies they’ve actually suffered.
“Sakura was my childhood.” He says with total seriousness.
“Sakura!?” Nobara says, aghast.
“She had pink hair.” Yuuji says. “And she was physically very strong. I don’t know, I felt represented.” Nobara bursts into laughter. Megumi can’t help but smile too, now that he knows who they’re talking about. Sakura must be the little pink girl in all of the posters. Not exactly who people would assume someone like Yuuji would like.
“Please.” Nobara said. “That’s actually so adorable. I really expected Naruto from you.”
“I like him too!” Yuuji exclaims. “Who doesn’t! He’s great. I was a weird kid I guess. Teachers used to give me a hard time because of my hair, they thought I was dying it to be like a delinquent or something–”
“Like Megumi.” Nobara adds, Yuuji nods in agreement. Megumi cuts in,
“I was not a delinquent.”
“Why’d you beat up all of those kids then, hmm?”
“They were the delinquents!" Megumi defends, Yuuji waves him off with a pointed:
“Anyways, she had naturally pink hair and she was one of the main characters and she could punch things really hard, just like me, made me feel less out of place. I dressed up as her for halloween once.”
“Oh my god.” Nobara says again. “Did you wear a dress?”
“No, no.” Yuuji says, waving her off a little flushed. “Like a dude version of her, I don’t know, little me was weird.”
“Yuuji.” Nobara says, deathly serious. “I’m going to need that picture immediately. Now. As soon as possible.”
“Uhh sure?” Yuuji pulls out his phone with a bemused expression, but he listens to her. He always listens to her, even as he’ll bemoan her instructions and bossiness. The first week after Shinjuku Megumi was comatose. He knows it’s strange and illogical–and that he had plenty of time with Yuuji too, without Nobara–but he can’t help but feel like they bonded in that time. In the aftermath of tragedy Megumi was napping, leaving his other two classmates to grieve without him. To sort through the chaotic mess.
He knows a lot happened in that week. He knows because both Nobara and Yuuji won’t talk about it, and their TV is broken. He knows because the second years left with guilty expressions, they're left alone to rot until ‘everything is figured out’.
A moment later Yuuji hands his phone over to Nobara who absolutely melts. A strange look on her given how tough she likes to portray herself.
“That’s so cute. I actually cannot stand it.” She hands the phone to Megumi without prompting, fakes wiping a tear from her eye. Yuuji is trying to melt into his zip-up.
The little boy on the phone is undoubtedly Yuuji. It’s cute to see that Yuuji has had the same haircut since forever. It’s softer though, more downey. Yuuji’s hair defaults to laying a little back now, as if pushed back by a breeze, it makes him look older, sharper maybe. Little Yuuji and his little undercut is mussed and like a soft puff of pink has settled on his head. He has a big grin, unmarred by scars, although he’s missing a tooth. His face is round and so very young. He’s got a headband on with the metal ninja plate tied up around his head. He’s wearing a red sleeveless shirt with a popped collar, elbow guards and dark gloves. He’s wearing black shorts with a paler pink jacket wrapped around them. He’s got fake gauze wrapped around one leg and an actual bandage (with little tigers!) on the other knee. He’s posed with one hand held in a fist.
He hands the phone back. Yuuji takes it, still flushed it up to his ears.
“You were a cute kid.” He says. Smiley, bright. Megumi knows he scowled more often than not in most of his pictures. He wonders if he’ll ever see Yuuji smile like that again. Unburdened and bright. Yuuji still smiles a lot, laughs even, but there’s something unhealed in him, something he won’t talk to even Megumi about.
“I want to see everyone else as kids now!” Yuuji says. “It’s only fair!”
“Later.” Nobara dismisses. “We’re going to start Naruto.” She gestures to her screen. Megumi knew that was what they were going to do, clearly Yuuji did too, but he couldn't stop the quick eager smile on his face. It’s charming. Nobara also successfully distracted him from making Megumi share embarrassing photos of himself, so for that he’s already grateful for Naruto’s existence.
“It’s been awhile!” Yuuji says, settling on the couch, Megumi squished between the two of them. It’s unusual because usually Nobara claims the middle, maybe it’s because it’s his first time watching Naruto. Nobara’s got a pillow on her lap and she’s leaned forward. Her hair is growing out, the roots needing retouching, she’s closer to him than she needs to be. Megumi wonders if it’s because she wants to be closer to him, or closer to the screen. Yuuji, on the other side, is burning like a furnace, like usual. He’s leaning forward excited as well. The scene starts, a little boy; Naruto's striped face and yellow hair painting on some sort of memorial, carved stone faces. Getting chased and chided. The animation isn’t the greatest.
Megumi turns to Nobara who has a sort of nostalgic sadness on her face, then he turns to Yuuji, who is just as enraptured. He looks fond, his mouth is slightly agape.
Megumi turns back to the screen and settles in to watch Naruto.
– – –
They’ve watched a few episodes when Yuuji gets up to grab them snacks, clearly some sort of restless even as he’s been more relaxed watching this than he’s been in awhile. Nobara yells at him to bring some blankets too. He rolls his eyes, calls her bossy, and does exactly what she asks.
When Yuuji comes back with popcorn he sets it next to the computer gently. It smells slightly nauseating, buttery, thick with salt.
“Who are your favorites so far!?” Yuuji inquires. Megumi blinks, turns to Nobara only to find her leaning in curious as well.
“Sasuke is annoying.” Is what he ends up saying. Yuuji blinks.
“You can’t say that!” He exclaims. “He’s just complicated.”
“He’s rude.” Megumi contradicts. “And arrogant, and selfish.” He gets, sort of? What Sasuke’s going through in the show, but people keep trying to help him and he keeps biting the hands that are trying to feed him. Something about it is frustrating. It's hard to watch. (It’s maybe sad to watch).
“All kids are rude, arrogant and selfish.” Nobara defends, surprisingly.
“Do you like Sasuke!?” Megumi pushes, Nobara backs down a bit.
“Not really.” She acquiesces. Yuuji lets out a betrayed gasp.
“He’s an integral part of the plot!”
“I know, I know.” Nobara agrees. “And he’s well written, I know.” Yuuji huffs, but moves on.
“Anyways, I asked for favorites, Megumi.”
“I guess I like Naruto, he’s a little annoying.” Nobara lets out a heavy sigh. Yuuji shakes his head.
“We need to get him through this, he needs to understand.” Yuuji is saying and Nobara is nodding.
“Definitly, and we need to get to the Chunin exams.” Yuuji gasps.
“I love the Chunin exams. Haku and Zabuza too”
“Do you think he’ll cry?” Nobara questions.
“He is right here.” Megumi says dryly. “And I didn’t say the show was bad.” It’s not bad at all, pressed between Nobara and Yuuji, the peaceful or upbeat music coming from the show while the kids stumble around the green lively leaf village. It’s sort of peaceful.
– – –
When Kakashi says “I won’t allow my comrades to die. I’ll protect you with my life.” Single red eye spinning with blazing purpose, music echoing with hopefulness and resolve Megumi finds himself leaning closer like it’ll bring Satoru Gojo back. Is this why you liked him? Megumi wonders. Because he wanted to save everyone? Because he was saving everyone? Megumi watches as the kids and Kakashi defeat Zabuza and a masked ninja takes his body away. Kakashi is a rather lackadaisical sensei, much like Gojo himself, relaxed, langued, a little unserious. Did Gojo relate to that? No. As shallow and unserious as Gojo was, that wouldn’t be what would draw him to a character. Megumi knew that much at least.
Megumi feels a tight wave of contempt sweep through him. He would know why Gojo adored Kakashi if he had listened. Instead he had forcefully tuned the man out. Irritated by his childishness, thinking he had all the time in the world because Satoru was the strongest.
The story unfolds surprisingly beautifully. Next to him Nobara has a complicated expression on her face and Yuuji is chewing on his lip absent-mindedly.
When Sasuke dies Megumi can feel his eyes widen, the boy’s turned into a pin cushion. Naruto cradles his body for a moment, gently setting him down. It’s an image every jujutsu sorcerer is familiar with, the death of a friend, a comrade, an ally. He clenches his fists and watches as Naruto gets some sort of possessed. Nobara’s joke about Yuuji wearing a Naruto sweater and that being on the nose is making slightly more sense to him now. Naruto is some sort of vessel, or whatever vessel equivalent is in this fictional universe. Megumi finds his eyes drifting to Yuuji, curious to see what the other boy thinks, maybe a little worried to see what the other boy thinks. He’s surprised to see Yuuji staring back at him.
“It’s Kurama.” Yuuji says calmly, like he’s ignorant of the similarity, or simply doesn’t care. Nobara lets out a little angry grunt and leans forward to pause the screen.
“Don’t spoil, Yuuji. They only call it the nine tails for, like, a really long time.” She presses play.
“Sorry!” says Yuuji, and then lower, so only Megumi can hear. “I like Kurama.”
“Isn’t he…evil?” Megumi settles on just as low, Naruto is playing again. The man in the mask is surprised, Kakashi and Zabuza sense something ominous in the air. It does sort of remind him of Sukuna in a way. The way they explain the condensation of malicious energy. Yuuji seems to debate something before answering him, with a forced casualness.
“Nah, Kurama is chill.” Megumi turns to glance at the screen. Kurama, although technically Naruto right now does not look… ‘chill’.
“You’re going to have to spoil me.” Megumi says dryly. “I’m not seeing it.”
“Nobara’ll kill me.” Yuuji shoots back, but he has a little secretive smile, so Megumi knows he’s already won.
“Are you scared of Nobara, Yuuji?”
“Yes.” Yuuji is emphatic but his smile is more unrepentant now. “Kurama and Naruto end up becoming friends.” He says, sort of in a hushed, stumbling hurry. “Actual friends too, like fistbumps, talk to each other and help each other friends.”
“That’s cute I guess.” He says. Yuuji nods and then nudges his shoulder so they go back to watching the show.
Kakashi kills Haku, Zabuza has a change of heart, ushered on by Naruto’s gripes against the Shinobi world. Megumi can’t turn his gaze away.
Not just tools. Megumi feels a little foolish, a little untethered. He bites down on a kernel of popcorn that’s still enfolded tight between his teeth. This is a fictionalized Ninja world, in some sort of fantastical setting, this isn’t Japan, this isn’t jujutsu society, but something about Naruto’s speech hits home. It’s something Megumi has complained about countless times. It’s the guise of having a choice but not actually having one, the expectation that you are going to die, and it’s somehow no longer a tragedy because it happens to everyone. Because they’re jujutsu sorcerers and that’s what they do.
Megumi’s not crying, he wouldn’t. He’s not attached to Haku or Zabuza, although seeing the grave that the kids and Kakashi made for them is sweet. It’s in that moment, where Kakashi towers over the trio that Megumi remembers in the show, they’re only 12-13.
They’re just kids. The thought comes sudden and insistent. As if Megumi himself isn’t 15— no 16.
I missed my birthday. He finds himself realizing. Gojo missed my birthday. No sickeningly sweet frosting on a cake that’s more for Gojo than Megumi, no birthday candles and sweet singing. No Tsumiki dark eyes shining with candlelight, no obnoxious circular black glasses, large hand ruffling through his hair. He’s 16 now. And isn’t that still just a child? He doesn’t feel like a child anymore. He feels like someone who gave his life away to something that wasn’t worth it.
A warm, scarred hand finds his, and then a smaller one, with callouses all along her palms. Nobara and Yuuji make him realize he’s clenching his hands, too tight into fists on his lap. The episode rolls to a stop, cheerful and ceaseless. They don’t start the next one.
It’s been hours anyways.
Yuuji moves to pull his hand away from their tangled grip but Megumi clutches to it still, desperate. Stilling him. The ending plays, and Megumi has never seen Naruto before but he feels nostalgic. Yuuji’s blinking a little rapidly. He has dark eyelashes, not the pink of his hair. They’re not particularly long, but they’re thick. Nobara had aggrieved the fact that ‘it’s not fair boys get nice eyelashes’.
Nobara grips his hand right back, solid and stubborn. He’s overwhelmingly grateful she’s still here, it’s almost sickening.
“I’m hungry.” Yuuji says. “I can make dinner.” He doesn’t pull away though, lets Nobara and Megumi clutch onto his hand even though some part of him is being stupidly flighty. It’s not something Megumi would have thought to attribute to Yuuji. Whose so brave, so loud and bright. Yuuji likes to run away. He thinks and isn’t that strange. Not from a fight, not from life or death or fierce terrifying battles but from … this. Whatever this may be.
“I like the show.” Megumi says, as if they all hadn't just sat there in silence.
“Yeah?” Nobara’s voice is gentle and coaxing.
“We should watch more tomorrow,” he says. It feels…nice to look forward to something. It breaks through the monotonous trudge of the last two weeks, the slow grey, tenseness of just waiting for what comes next but not knowing if anything will even actually happen.
“Let me make dinner.” Yuuji says again. “We’ll talk about it over food.” And then plaintively. “Really guys, please I’m starving. Snacks for lunch do not fill me up.” Megumi lets go of his hand and Yuuji’s already standing up. “I’m really glad you like it, Megumi.” And then he’s bustling away.
“It’s good right?” Nobara says. “Surpringly.”
“It made me think about things.” Megumi says, in the gray space between vulnerable and uncomfortable. One and the same. “Which is strange, it’s a show. I don’t know.”
“No.” Nobara says surprisingly firmly. “I know what you mean I-” She looks to the door that Yuuji had just exited and then her gaze goes back to the screen. “When I was younger.” She said, “I watched Naruto with a friend of mine.” Nobara pauses, phrasing everything delicately. There’s a heaviness to her words, she’s thinking about what she’s saying before she says them. “We sat on her floor, her dad watched it with us sometimes too; he’d play video games with us too.” She smiles, brief and fleeting and younger. “Naruto; this version of Naruto gave me a lot of comfort when I was younger. He was in a crazy village too, and he was loud and unashamed even when people hated him for it. But above all, what we liked was that he always won.” Nobara’s eyes are distant. “And not even like the literal battles, but the metaphorical ones too, or whatever. Ideals. He made a difference, he made their world change into something he liked.” Ruthlessly goal driven, hardworking and unashamed. Megumi can see Nobara in all of the same traits that she just admired the character for. He keeps it to himself but he thinks Naruto might be her favorite character. She’d be embarrassed to say so.
He wonders if Sakura is still Yuuji’s favorite character, he wonders why Gojo liked Kakashi, he wonders if Tsumiki were here who she would like.
They don’t do anything. Not tonight. Yuuji fetches them for dinner. They talk excitedly around the dinner table, it’s loud and energetic, Nobara and Yuuji are arguing like they used to. Getting way too invested. Megumi begrudgingly admits that Sasuke isn’t the worst anymore. There was something horrifically familiar in seeing someone so young die for someone else, so easily too– a laissez faire sort of attitude– He was glad, when the boy ended up being alright. He knows that many, many people aren’t as lucky.
He’s lucky though isn’t he? Nobara is waving a knife around, Yuuji’s eyes are following it with only a bit of concern but he’s still arguing back. He’s lucky that both of his friends came back. That he came back.
Sometimes he wonders if they stole all of the miracles.
Lucks out, he sometimes dreads. The future can only, somehow, go down from here.
They deserve to watch something hopeful. He thinks. He just didn’t expect it to be Naruto.
Satoru would be really insufferable if he were here. The thought strangely soothes him. An annoying Satoru, was a happy Satoru. He’d be happy they’re watching a show together.
He’d also be an even worse spoiler than Yuuji.