Actions

Work Header

Rating:
Archive Warning:
Category:
Fandoms:
Relationships:
Characters:
Additional Tags:
Language:
English
Stats:
Published:
2026-02-07
Words:
1,898
Chapters:
1/1
Comments:
3
Kudos:
22
Bookmarks:
1
Hits:
413

Phallustration

Summary:

Hajime Hinata gets fed up of mourning his foreskin and decides to talk to someone else about it. Unfortunately for him, the someone else in question winds up being Nagito Komaeda.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Ever since he first gained consciousness, Hajime Hinata longed for his foreskin. Like many other infants, his was removed with neither his knowledge nor consent, via the brutal procedure known as circumcision. Among its many consequences, circumcision removes anywhere between 10,000 to 20,000 nerve endings from the penis.

For a serial gooner such as Hajime, this was devastating information. His orgasms could have potentially reached euphoric levels the likes of which he couldn't even BEGIN to comprehend, but because of an operation he had no hand in choosing, said euphoria may forever be beyond his reach. Granted, its not as though the operations he DID have a hand in choosing turned out any better (Re: Kamukura Project), but remembering this fact does little to help improve his mood.

After thinking about it for a while, Hajime decided to consult someone else for a second opinion. If nothing else, simply talking about his feelings with another person would almost certainly make him feel better. That being said, he wasn't sure who the right person to approach would be, given the subject matter at hand.

Hajime decided that there was no way he could make that decision himself, so he decided to leave it up to fate. He picked up his e-Handbook, which has been modified by the Future Foundation to include an internet browser, typed in wheelofnames.com, and entered the names of everyone else on Jabberwock Island. To make the most out of destiny, Hajime decided that whoever the wheel lands on TWICE first will be the person he talks to.

Much to Hajime's dismay, the first spin landed on none other than Nagito Komaeda. Hajime's arms tensed, and his brow got sweaty at the idea of talking to Nagito Komaeda about his dick. Still, it was only one spin, and Hajime knew that as long as it doesn't land on Komaeda again, he'll be safe.

After calming himself down, Hajime spun the wheel again, and of course, it landed on Komaeda once again. Hajime was petrified. He couldn't believe how unfortunate his luck was that fate would make him talk to Nagito Komaeda about his penis.

What Hajime didn't know, however, was that his cottage has been wiretapped by Nagito ever since 77-B first moved here, and that Nagito was watching his every move this entire time. Nagito was very fond of Hajime and was ecstatic at the idea of Hajime talking to him about his penis, so he took advantage of his talent to ensure that the wheel would land on his name twice.

With no other options on the table, Hajime mustered up the courage to go talk to Nagito. After heading to the Supermarket first to buy some hard liquor (to ease his way into the conversation), Hajime went to knock on Nagito's door. Already expecting him, Nagito opened the door before Hajime's hand touched it.

"Good evening, Hajime. What brings you to my cottage at this hour?" (it was 11:30 pm)

"Nagito" Hajime said, as he looked straight into Nagito's eyes: "I'm here to talk to you about my penis."

"Well, well, well", said Komaeda, pretending to be annoyed, "Who told you I'd be okay with such a thing? Just because I'm gay? You're treading awfully close to sexual harassment here, pal."

"Look, this isn't easy for me, but I spun a wheel TWICE and it landed on your name BOTH times. Fate itself has guided me to talk to you about my penis. I couldn't exactly just turn it down now, could I?", asked Hajime.

"Uhh yes you could've. You don't have to listen to it its just a fucking wheel." stated Nagito. "Why would you spin a wheel for such a thing anyways, Hajime? Couldn't you just ask Kazuichi? He's a lot closer to you than I am." inquired Komaeda.

"I'm circumcised, Nagito" Hajime admitted, ignoring Komaeda's perfectly reasonable response, tightening his knuckles and tearing up. "If I could have, I would have stopped them from disposing of my foreskin, from disfiguring my dick, but I just couldn't do it. No baby in the world is capable of such a thing." said Hajime, clearly unaware of the existence of Stewie Griffin. "And now, my penis is inferior. There's a whole world of orgasms out there that I'll never be able to experience, because of all the nerve endings they fucking took from me. THEY NERFED MY FUCKING DICK NAGITO!!!!!!!! I CAN'T BEAR TO LIVE LIKE THIS ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!" Hajime screamed in agony, before breaking down on the floor in tears.

"Hajime"

"Yes Nagito?"

"I understand how you feel, but perhaps you should've gone INSIDE the cottage before telling me all this?"

Hajime realized that he was still outside and that everyone in the surrounding cottages could hear him. He looked to the right and saw Ultimate Impostor giving him a dirty look before returning to their cottage.

Saying nothing, Nagito gestured for Hajime to get inside, and he quickly obliged.

Now indoors, Hajime immediately reached for the liquor, but Nagito stopped him. "Easy there, Hajime. I can't have sex with you if you're drunk."

"HUH???????" a bewildered Hajime exclaimed.

"I'd love to console you about your penis Hajime, but unlike you, I'm not circumcised." Nagito revealed, trying his hardest to make Hajime forget his previous sentence. "I have a fully intact foreskin. And you know what the best part is? I DON'T EVEN HAVE ANY USE FOR IT!" Nagito said, as his despair eyes began to set in.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU HAVE NO USE FOR IT?"

"I'M A FUCKING BOTTOM HAJIME!!!!! I DON'T JERK OFF THE WAY YOU DO!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! ALL IT DOES IS MAKE MY PENIS HARDER TO WASH!!!!!!!!! IF IT WAS UP TO ME, I *WOULD* HAVE BEEN CIRCUMCISED!!!!!!!!!!!" Nagito monolouged, doing whatever he could to keep Hajime's attention.

Hajime was at an utter loss for words. He couldn't believe a word of what Nagito was telling him. Nagito had everything he wanted, and he had everything Nagito wanted. It was almost as though it was a cruel joke.

"Show me." commanded Hajime.

"Show you what?"

"Your penis. I want to see your foreskin. To see that which I so desperately wish was mine."

"Your wish is my command", said Nagito as he lowered his trousers. Wasting no time, Hajime reached into Nagito's boxers and took his member into his hand as he slowly pulled it out. He observed it carefully from all angles, pulled it, moved it around, as though he was a dog given a brand new squeaky toy. Hajime could only imagine how this would feel if he swapped placed with Nagito.

As he imagined if Nagito was the one holding his member, he felt it tense up and grow, enough to make him uncomfortable. Hajime let go of Nagito's penis to adjust his own.

"Stop it Hajime."

Before Hajime could reach his own crotch, Nagito reaches out and touches it first. He feels Hajime's growing bulge and naughtily looks into his eyes.

"What's this Hajigay? Did holding my dick make you feel excited?"

"That is NOT my name"

"Whatever", Nagito said as he started gently stroking Hajime's erection. As much as he hated to admit it, Hajime was genuinely enjoying this, and his erection gradually grew as Nagito stroked until it reached its maximum size.

"Oh my... its larger than I thought it was gonna be."

"WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?"

"*holding back laughter* Nothing."

Suddenly, Hajime grabbed Komaeda, unzipped his jacket and took of his shirt, exposing his pale white body to his lustful eyes. He decided to punish Nagito for mocking his erection size.

"W-What are you doing Hajime?" asked Nagito, flustered.

"Teaching you a lesson you'll never forget." said Hajime, as he removed Nagito's trousers exposing his flat ass. He spun Nagito around and ordered him to take his member into his mouth, and Nagito happily obliged. Hajime quickly began to throatfuck Nagito until he felt his member was adequately lubricated, at which point he pulled it out, waited for Nagito to catch his breath, and spun him around again, preparing to perform the ultimate punishment.

"H-Hajime, slow down!" Nagito pleaded, barely audible

"You won't be able to walk when I'm done with you." Hajime stated, calm as he can be.

Hajime began rubbing his tip around the surface of Nagito's hole, its warmth sharply contrasting with the cold sensation on the remainder of Hajime's wet member. Nagito lightly moaned as he felt Hajime's tip caress his hole. As soon as he was done warming up, he finally inserted the rest of it. Hajime let it sit there for a bit to get used to the tightness of Komaeda's walls, before beginning to rapidly thrust into him, each thrust feeling better than the last for both of them. As Hajime climaxed and shot his thick ropes inside Komaeda's asshole, he thought to himself: "If I still had my foreskin, would ALL my orgasms feel this good?" Needless to say, that is not a question he would ever find an answer for.

Komaeda, on the other hand, was so ecstatic that he reached a secondary plane of existence. His soul has become one with the universe, and he's managed to learn all of its rules and secrets in one fell swoop. You, the reader, would also be able to do this if you have gay sex.

"Hajime?"

"..yes Nagito"

"Do you.. remember 9/11?"

"The September 11 attacks, huh? Yeah, I could never forget. I don't think anyone who was conscious back then could."

"Perfect. You remember how those terrorists did it, right?"

"Of course I do. They hijacked the planes through their cockpits."

"Yes. Cockpits. Wouldn't you say that our current situation is exactly like 9/11 then?"

"Nagito what the fuck are you talking about"

"Your cock.. is in my.. pit.. heheheh"

Hajime glanced over to his crotch, and realized that Komaeda has wrapped his left armpit around his soft cock without him realizing. At this point Hajime realized that any more time spent with Komaeda is likely to drive him to insanity, so he abruptly got up, put his clothes back on, and opened the door.

"Wait, Hajime! Not even gonna sho-"

"I'LL USE MY OWN." he silenced Komaeda as he shut the door.

As he began to walk back to his own cottage, Hajime saw fucking Teruteru Hanamura of all people entering Ultimate Impostor's cottage. Fortunately for him, Teruteru didn't notice him, for if he was seen in such a sweaty and disheveld state by ANYONE, LET ALONE Teruteru Hanamura, he probably would've changed course to the Supermarket to buy some rope instead.

"I wonder if Teruteru's also circumcised." He thought to himself as he bypassed Impostor's cottage.

Once he reached his cottage, he unlocked the door and headed inside. He wasted no time in beginning to shower, thoroughly erasing every last trace of Komaeda's body off of his.

"Aww man, he's already showering.", Komaeda declaimed as he held his wiretap-connected phone to his ear. As it turns out, Hajime indeed kept his promise, for Komaeda could not move off his bed at all. He was powerless to do anything until the aftermath of Hajime's punishment gradually faded from his legs. He could do little besides laying there, reflecting on what Hajime did to him until his eyes grew too tired to prolong his night...

Notes:

I, personally, don't have very strong feelings regarding circumcision. The idea of a komahina circumcision fic randomly popped into my head one day and made me laugh so hard I just HAD to make it a reality. Although this is a komahina fic and their relationship is explored here, I approached this with a primarily comedic angle first and foremost, so I do apologize if you felt the actual relationship in question was a little undercooked. This is my first time ever putting out a fic like this. I hope you enjoyed!! :D