Chapter Text
It's weird how much hate can develop into love, especially when that hate doesn't entirely go away but simply gets rebranded into something that's rather enjoyable.
The first time the two men met was like any other mission. Though, it turned out to be the beginning of an all devouring desire creeping up from the deepest pits of both of their stomachs. Jabber, in typical fashion, has acknowledged that feeling long before Zanka even thought about the idea of realizing the same thing.
Shortly after, after all have been rescued from the Raider, they could laugh and joke again pretty quickly, even with the presence of usually life ending injuries. Up to that point Zanka hasn't paid a singular thought to the "evil dreadlocks man" as to him, he was simply a nuisance and danger that has to be kept an eye out for, never paying mind to his actual person.
Jabber, on the other hand, though he was more impressed by Rudos abilities, left that fight with a pleasant feeling in his stomach, unable to tell if it's simply the aching pain that keeps on reminding him of a good beat up, or if more has been awoken inside of him that not only leaves his skin and muscles, but his mind too, tingling.
The second time both of them met has been even more dangerous and every time Zanka thinks back to that encounter that ended in lethal injuries, he's still bamboozled about the mere idea of such a malicious and strangely hedonistic fight to have woken up the same desire inside of him as well.
He thinks about that fight very often. Be it because of his insecure tendencies, that he's been dragging along since his childhood, telling him to become stronger and stronger, bubbling up as anger when he gets reminded that he's not strong enough yet or because of that trip he had due to the toxins in his body that manifested as hallucinations.
Of course, he now knows that none of what he saw that day when he was fighting for his life was real and though thinking about it pains his pride on shitty days, that wasn't the focus of his memories. But rather, he has been asking himself questions. Questions that he didn't know would be even possible to ask. Because In those hallucinations, that became more and more fucked up as the poison took over his body, a stray desire has made its way into his head and then into his vision.
You see, the thing about being high is that with the right circumstances, you become honest. Honest with others and honest with yourself. Zanka swore he didn't have any other impressions of Jabber other than seeing him as a danger. So maybe those bubbled up as they fought the second time? Or at least Zanka would like to think that.
He remembers everything about his trip vividly.
He remembers the pain, his dedication to fight, remembers his childhood and then when he finally started the be able to hear colors and taste sounds there was jabber...under his lovely assistaff, pinned to the ground. And although that image flashed across for a split second he recalls Jabbers expression. Was it admiration in his red eyes? Was he feeling something in his nether regions again? He couldn't put his finger on it but remembers Jabber looking pleased and breathless, his chest rising and falling as his back arches softly, his cheeks slightly red as he bites his bottom lip into a knowing smirk. The more Zanka thinks about it, the more he starts to think that such a sight belonged in an adult film. And on any other day Zanka would be disgusted but not surprised. What keeps him up at night though, is that it was a hallucination, HIS hallucination that his own mind came up with.
So there he was, looking up at the ceiling as the reflecting light of the full moon aluminates the corners of his room to the point they're just visible.
He ponders about the same question he's been pondering about since he's back at the HQ, back in safety.
*Why the hell would such a disgusting sight assault his eyes?*
He feels anger mixed with something he can't identify— something he doesn't WANT to identify since he's scared he would tap into a world he could understand nor leave behind.
Thinking back to that moment...he *didn't* want to lean in closer. He *didn't* want to know what would happen if he just got a small taste of the sweet, tanned skin. And he definitely *didn't* want to touch Jabbers waist to see if he can produce more sounds than just manical laughter. He *didn't* want to know if the sting on his palm would be pleasant after he struck a slap on Jabbers warm cheek to see what his moans—
He flinches. Something must have fallen over in his room or maybe he just imagined it to forcefully pull himself out of the fantasies he doesn't entirely find unpleasant...right?
Soon, he falls asleep in the same position he's been in this entire time, sure that he'll wake up with annoying back pain that will remind him of his minds shenanigans at night.
~~~
"Give it back Riyo!" He hears Rudo yell as he registers the quick footsteps that resemble a chase, followed by a "no way! I'm confiscating the sweets or your teeth will fall off!" Said girl replies with a chuckle in her breathless voice as the chase continues. Zanka slowly sits up with an annoyed and tired expression before groaning while pinching the bringe of his nose.
*How can it be that those two are only a couple years younger than me and still they're behaving like little kids?* He asks himself.
He slowly stands up, careful to not put too much pressure on his stomach since he's still not fully healed. He grabs lovely to prop himself up and walks towards the door before opening it to the madness he has to witness every day, especially since Rudo joined the cleaners. Immediately said boy yells, "Zanka! Tell Riyo to give me my sweets back!" He says, treating Zanka like his older brother by now. "Haha no! I'm going to give those to dear!" Riyo says, the chuckle in her voice now evolved into a laughter. "Don't you dare!" Rudo yells back, now resembling something close to the babadook at the thought of losing his precious candy.
*...why me?*
Zanka asks himself with an expression that mirrors his annoyance. Without paying any mind, Zanka heads off to grab himself a simple breakfast that's a piece of bread with some butter and a glass of water before heading to a nearby table and sitting down to eat it all up. "Yo!" He hears from the front and looks up to see Enjin grab a seat in front of him. "How're ya feeling?" Zanka offers a small smile while looking at his breakfast. It's the same smile he always puts on when trying to pretend that nothing is going on and that everything is in the ordinary but by now Enjin knows that that's not what the smile meant at all but that it rather means "don't force me to be honest right now" and Enjin would be a bum to not respect that. He sighs and nods before patting Zanka on his shoulder twice to show support in a way that doesn't need a verbal response.
~~~
As the day progresses Zanka grows increasingly bored. He's not used to doing nothing and only recovering for THAT long. Even when injured, he always manages to find a way to train at least a little bit but now...the injuries were too severe to not take care of himself, which is dangerous. Not because he fears slacking behind while the others train— at least not now, but because he finds himself in the same situation as he was at night. Contemplating about that day, about that desire he keeps forcing out of his mind.
Before he walks in circles so much that the prints of his shoes will be stuck on the floor permanently, he makes his way out of the HQ and starts walking just for the sake of walking. Of course he has brought a mask just in case but it's not like he's purposefully walking into danger. At least that's what he hopes but as we can see, luck hasn't really been on his side for the past days.
What started out as only wanting to catch fresh air has ended in him dragging his feet to God knows how far away until he finds himself on an abandoned piece of land with no life in sight, only rocks and sand. He knows this place isn't prone for trash beasts but also knows to not let his guard down. He snaps back into reality once that realization hits and flinches at himself when he realizes that thinking about Jabber has consumed him so much that he actually started wandering off to places. He sighs to himself. How does jabber manage to find a way to torment him in his body AND his mind??
Well...speaking of the devil, right? Again, his bad luck really can't be matched.
"Zaaan...kaaa~" he hears from a dangerous distance, the raspy voice recognizable anytime. He quickly turns around, his heart beating faster for Jabber than for any other enemy he's encountered, the sharp claws following him into his dreams. His breath picks up, knowing that if jabber were to fight him, he'd be minced meat.
It turns out Jabber has been hiding behind a large rock this entire time, having seen Zanka from a distance as he was dissociating. And Jabber being a large meatball of instincts, obviously stalked him from that point on without even thinking about if he's in the mood to fight or not. His legs simply dragged him to where his curiosities scent springs forth from.
"Jabber." Zanka hisses out as if the Raiders name were a slur, the glare evident in his voice AND eyes.
"Woah-haha! I didn't think you could make such a face, my dear Zanka. What? Don't tell me you're pooping your pants now that I beat you not once but twice!" Jabber finishes his sentences with the typical manical laughter and boastful pride.
"Tsk!" Zanka clicks his tongue. "Don't be rediculous" he barks back and quickly starts thinking about a strategy to return to the HQ safely but after considering all factors he can only sigh, turning his Jinki off to close his eyes, even though he shouldn't and pinch the bringe of his nose, knowing that if Jabber wanted to kill him he'd stand no chance in this sorry state.
"Are you here to finish me off...Jabber?" He asks a little defeated, his head a slushy of emotions and thoughts. He isn't really present mentally NOR physically so how the hell will he be able to fight freaking Jabber?? He lets his head fall a bit, hoping that he can say just the right things to get Jabber to leave.
Jabber notices that change of passion and feels his nose twitch a bit in irritation, sensing that Zanka is behaving boring right now. The Raider raises one brow and gets out of a offensive state but still resumes to his manical chuckle
"Hmmm finish you off? Haha! I could but where would be the fun of it?" He asks and takes a step forward with the intent of scaring Zanka a little bit, harboring a few sadistic tendencies himself. Zanka does indeed step back quickly and activates assistaff out of reflex to take in a defensive stance but that only ends in him bend over a bit and coughing from the wound in his stomach.
He mutters a "fuck!" Under his breath and glares at jabber from below, who is grinning even wider. Seriously...how can someone even grin that much without tearing their lips apart!?
"You fucker! How do you manage to torment me in reality AND my fantasies?!-"
his breath hitches and his eyes widen ...what did he say just now? And why did he admit to it out loud? He freezes a few seconds before letting his eyes fall on Jabbers surprised, yet grinning face. Maybe that grin is already etched into his face for eternity? Because that expression is quite...unique. In any other circumstance this moment would be perfect to attack the stunned Jabber but since Zanka is as stunned as he is from his own words he doesn't bother.
"Fuck! Shit! Dumbass!" Zanka yells to himself and face palms. "Shit...forget it-" "you..." For once, Jabber doesn't know what to say or do. Did he interpret his words correctly?? Fantasies? He knows Zanka is way too much of a good boy to fantasize about torturing someone so could it be he really means...THOSE kind of fantasies??
Zanka looks at him annoyed, as if it wasn't HIS slip up. After a few seconds Zankas brows furrow a bit, theorizing that maybe this ISNT jabber but someone that has a jinki that lets them transform into other people because how else could be ever explain Jabber being genuinely stumped and...blushing!? What? "What?" Oops. He ended up thinking this out loud...
"Hah?" Jabber let's out
"Huh?" Zanka replies.
And they stare at each other for a few more seconds before Zanka clears his throat to avoid this awkward situation. "Ah..! Haha...~ I...GOTTA GO!" Jabber says quickly and just as sudden as he appeared, he disappears back to where he came from.
What the...FUCK!?