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He was on a mission right now. He was on a mission as LupinRed right now and not Kairi. He absolutely could not tease the police officer infiltrating this masquerade gala with him.
"You look really good in that mask and suit, you know."
To his amusement, Keiichiro's face turned as red as his ranger suit. "Don't patronize me. Besides …" He tapped the red and white domino mask. "You told me these things have a perception filter or something. Can you even tell what my face looks like right now?"
As long as he didn't look away, yes, he could, but the stupid policeman didn't need to know exactly how their masks worked. "… the rest of you looks good."
"Oh, shut up, you stupid phantom thief. What's the plan?"
Kairi sighed and tried to visualize the museum's floorplan. "Goody said they were in the curator's office on the second floor. There's even a big, shiny placard on the door so we don't miss it."
"Good." With a huff, he immediately marched towards the stairs, but Kairi caught the crook of his elbow and pulled him back.
"Whoa whoa whoa, way to look suspicious. We need to pretend that we're actually here for this party - at least for a little while."
He growled as his hands curled into fists. "I don't want to spend any more time with you than I have to."
"Trust me, the feeling's mutual." He checked his watch before continuing, "Meet me at the east doors in thirty minutes. And try not to blow your cover."
As they separated, Kairi meant to chat up other people and try to find out if there were any other Ganglar imposters on the museum board, but he trusted Keiichiro about as far as he could throw him. (He then wondered how far he could actually throw him and if using the extra strength from Lupinranger transformation was cheating.)
Fortunately, he didn't speak to anyone and instead headed straight for the hors d'oeuvres table.
Phew. He should be safe there, as long as nobody tried to start a conversation with him -
Oh god, who the hell was that?
A woman, dressed much more lavishly than anyone else (Kairi's best guess was another board member or the museum director), was approaching him, saying hello, asking questions -
As stealthily as he could, he weaved through the crowd, trying to reach Keiichiro before he said something stupid -
"… it's a wonderful event, Inoue-san."
"Oh, thank you, this took so much more time than I thought - oh, who's this?"
Wait, he actually had it under control? Shit, it was gonna be him that blew their cover -
Keiichiro glanced at him, smirked, and, without missing a beat, explained, "My butler."
He was going to throw him out a window.
Bowing politely and using his best approximation of Kogure's voice, Kairi said, "Apologies for the interruption, madam. I needed to remind the young master about his medication."
The woman called Inoue nodded in understanding. "Don't let me keep you, then - give my regards to Ichijoji-san."
As soon as she was out of sight, Kairi roughly grasped his forearm and led them to the east doors, hissing, "Your butler?!"
"Oh, shut up. It worked out, didn't it? We have an excuse to leave the party now."
He remained silent, unwilling to give him the satisfaction of being right.
They made it up to the curator's office without incident, but right as Kairi was about to unlock the door, a pair of voices echoed from around the corner. Shit - one of them was the Ganglar -
"Yes, they're in my office. I can show them to you - they're delightful!"
Ah, fuck.
Keiichiro glanced up and down the hallway, trying to look for another room to hide in. Wait - there was a way for them to hide in plain sight and maybe (hopefully) ensure that the Ganglar didn't come back for a while -
He grasped Keiichiro's hand. "Hey. Kiss me."
"What the - no!"
That went about as well as he thought it would.
He dragged him closer and frantically whispered, "Look, it'll explain why we're somewhere we're not supposed to be, and it'll weird him out so he doesn't come by for a bit."
Keiichiro still looked disgusted, but he did that cute pout he always did when he didn't want to admit someone else was right.
(He could unpack why he thought it was cute later.)
The voices came closer - closer -
"The mask is hiding my face, anyway - just pretend I'm someone else!"
A heartbeat later, Keiichiro shoved him against the wall and crashed their lips together hard enough that Kairi was worried he lost a tooth.
The voices were just around the corner now, and Keiichiro was still standing straight with his arms at his side, leaving a sizable gap between them. There was no way they'd buy this -
He placed his hands on his hips and gently pulled him closer; in response, he felt him sigh as he wrapped his arms around him. Kairi couldn't help sliding his hands up his back and grasping the fabric of his jacket, and Keiichiro seemed to relax as he pressed even closer and parted his lips slightly.
… who was he imagining?
"… the collection is beautiful, you'll have to see it to believe - oh!" the Ganglar said, sounding as uncomfortable and embarrassed as he hoped he'd be. His voice dropped to a whisper. "Let's, ah … come back later."
He tried to listen for the Ganglar's fading footsteps and voice, but he was getting distracted by the fact that Keiichiro was a surprisingly good kisser.
(Whoever he was imagining was very lucky.)
Kairi decided to play along for a bit, just to … to, uh … to teach him some techniques to use on this person later. Yeah. No other reason.
So quietly that he more felt it than heard it, Keiichiro sighed, "Oh, Kairi …"
His eyes snapped open. "Wh - huh?"
Keiichiro also opened his eyes, remembered who he was actually kissing, and bit down on Kairi's bottom lip. With a strangled yelp, he pushed him away and checked to see if he was bleeding. "That hurt, you stupid policeman."
He made a show of wiping off his lips with his sleeve and snarled, "That was the point, you stupid phantom thief. Can you unlock the door already?"
Scowling, he opened the door and immediately spotted what they were here for: five birds in a birdcage that was way too small for all of them. The yellow bird and the green bird fluttered their wings in excitement.
"Yeah, yeah, let's get you out of there." Within seconds, the birds were free; the blue and yellow ones rested on his shoulders while the green and pink ones joined Keiichiro. The silver one perched on top of the birdcage, somehow looking bashful and apologetic.
Rolling his eyes, Kairi snatched the silver bird and glared at him. "This is your fault, you know."
The bird chirped a melody that sounded like Noël's "oh la la~"
Keiichiro marched back to the hallway, calling, "Our alliance is over. I hope we never have to do this again."
He stepped out of the office and headed in the opposite direction. "Likewise."
As he snuck his way out of the museum, the memory of the kiss kept replaying in his head.
Him? Keiichiro wanted to kiss him?!
He wished he hated that. He wished that didn't make his heart beat faster. He wished he could forget the way Keiichiro sighed his name.
Why was his life so damn complicated?