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The doors to Herta's private lab slid open with their usual hiss, revealing the spacious laboratory that served as the genius's personal domain. Caelus stepped inside, immediately struck by how... normal everything looked. Just Herta, standing by her desk with her back to him, silhouetted against the observation window and the endless star field beyond.
"You called?" Caelus said, the door closing behind him.
"I did." Herta turned around, and Caelus's eyes immediately dropped to what she held in her hands.
It was a box of chocolates. But not just any box—this was clearly expensive, wrapped in deep purple paper with gold foil accents and a silk ribbon tied in a perfect bow.
Caelus felt his lips curve into a smile. "Herta, is that—"
"For you? Obviously." She held out the box, positioned for him to take. "Who else would I be giving Valentine's chocolates to?"
His smile widened as he stepped forward, already reaching out. "You didn't have to—"
The box moved.
Caelus's fingers closed on empty air as Herta pulled the chocolates back, holding them just out of reach. She looked at him with an expression that was smug and hinted at mischief.
"What," she said, one eyebrow raised, "makes you think you can simply take a gift from the great Herta without earning it first?"
Caelus felt his eye twitch. "...Herta."
"Caelus.”
He took a slow, measured breath. "It's Valentine's Day."
"It is."
"You got me chocolates."
"I did."
"And you're... not going to give them to me?"
"Oh, I'm absolutely going to give them to you." She smiled wider. "You just have to earn them first."
Caelus closed his eyes. Counted to three. Opened them again. Herta was still standing there, looking far too pleased with herself.
"What," he said flatly, "do I have to do."
Her eyes lit up. "I'm so glad you asked!"
She set the box carefully on the desk beside her.
"Before you receive this gift," she began, "you must look at me directly in the eyes—no looking away, no mumbling—and declare the following." She paused for dramatic effect. "Madam Herta is a peerless gem. Madam Herta is an unrivaled genius. Madam Herta is an inimitable beauty."
There was a pause. Caelus stared at her. Herta stared back, completely unashamed, her expression expectant.
"What?" he said.
"Those are my terms. Take them or leave the chocolates."
"You know I could just buy my own chocolates, right?"
"Are you dumb? You could buy your own chocolates. But you can't buy these chocolates. I personally had them made for you."
Damn. She had him and she knew it.
Caelus sighed. "Fine. Madam Herta is a peerless gem—"
"Stop."
He blinked. "What?"
"That was awful." Herta's expression shifted to unimpressed in an instant. "Try again. I want to actually hear the words."
"You heard them perfectly fine."
"I want to hear them properly. With conviction. With sincerity. As though you're stating a fundamental law of the universe—which, I should note, you essentially are."
Caelus pinched the bridge of his nose. This was very in brand. "Herta—"
"Madam Herta."
"Madam Herta," he corrected, still shyly glancing away. Those violet eyes watched him with unconcealed amusement. "Can I just—"
"No. Say it properly or the chocolates stay with me." She paused, then added, "I suppose I could always eat them myself. Dark chocolate does sound delicious..."
"Alright, alright." Caelus straightened, meeting her gaze directly. "Madam Herta is a peerless gem. Madam Herta is an unrivaled genius. Madam Herta is an inimitable beauty."
Herta's eyes narrowed. "You still sound ingenuine. Do you not want these chocolates that badly?"
"I mean it!"
"Your tone suggests otherwise." She took a step closer. She was enjoying every second of this. "Are you embarrassed? That’s silly. You're simply acknowledging objective facts."
"Objective facts…?”
"Yes. I am a peerless gem—I am perfect afterall. I am an unrivaled genius—my IQ remains the highest on record. And I am an inimitable beauty—Idrila would’ve had me as their Emanator if Droidhead hadn’t cut in line." She tilted her head. "So really, I'm just asking you to verbalize truths you already know. Where's the embarrassment in that?"
He couldn't help but laugh. "You knew that THEY would’ve cast their gaze upon you?"
"Of course I wouldn’t have known objectively, I made that up. But it could have happened without question, I AM Herta afterall and I would still be an unrivaled genius. In this timeline, it was Droidhead. Now quit your dawdling." She gave a small, imperious wave of her hand. "Try again."
Caelus looked at her. The slight upturn of her lips. The genius gleaming in her eyes, and the attractive nature of her features that she absolutely knew he noticed.
She wanted sincerity? Fine. He could do sincerity.
He stepped forward, closing the remaining distance until they were properly face-to-face. Herta's eyebrows rose fractionally at the sudden proximity, but she held her ground, looking up at him with that same expectant expression. Waiting.
Caelus held her gaze and spoke clearly, letting every word ring with genuine conviction:
"Madam Herta is a peerless gem."
Her eyes widened slightly.
"Madam Herta is an unrivaled genius."
The corner of her mouth twitched, fighting a smile.
"Madam Herta is an inimitable beauty."
Silence.
Herta stared, slightly caught off-guard by how good those words sounded when coming from him.
Then she blinked once, and her smile turned satisfied. Triumphant.
"You see? When you actually try, you're perfectly capable of following instructions. Was that really so difficult?"
She grabbed the chocolate box and handed it toward him, pressing it firmly into his hands. Her fingers lingered against his.
"Happy Valentine's Day, Caelus."
Before he could respond, she moved.
In one motion, Herta rose up on her toes, one hand coming to rest lightly on his shoulder. Her lips pressed against his cheek—soft, warm, deliberate. The kiss lasted only a moment, but it was enough to freeze him completely, his mind going blank except for the awareness of her proximity, her touch, and the faint scent of her perfume.
Then she pulled back, settling onto her heels.
"There," she said, her tone casual, though her eyes sparkled with amusement at his expression. "A gift should be given properly, after all."
Caelus blinked, still processing. "I—you just—"
Herta turned away, moving back toward her desk. "You seem surprised. Did you think I wouldn't know the proper etiquette for gift-giving on this particular holiday? I may be a genius focused on my research, but I'm not uncultured."
"I–Uh—"
"Do try to finish your sentences, Caelus."
“...Thank you for the chocolates, Herta.”
“Your thanks have been acknowledged. Now shoo. I’m busy.” She made a shooing motion with one hand.
"You just kissed me and now you're kicking me out?"
"I gave you a gift and now I'm returning to my research. Unless you'd prefer to stand there for another few minutes? I could time it, make a study of the effects of being in proximity of the great Madam Her—"
"I'm going, I'm going." Caelus headed for the door, fighting his own smile. At the threshold, he paused, looking back at her. "Herta?"
"Madam Herta," she corrected without looking up.
"You really are all those things, you know. Peerless. Unrivaled. Inimitable."
She stilled for just a moment, her fingers freezing over her keyboard. Then she turned her head to meet his eyes, and her smile was softer than he'd ever seen it. Genuine.
"I know," she said quietly. "But it's nice to hear you say it anyway. You're more than welcome to say it more often.”
"How often?"
"At minimum, daily. Consider it rent for being allowed to exist in my presence."
"What about me? Do I get compliments too?"
Herta rested her head on her hand, considering.
"That depends. Do you plan to continue being useful, interesting, and..." Her smile turned mischievous. "Decently attractive?"
Caelus tapped the purple and gold box in his hands, a matching smile pulling at his lips. "...I think I can manage 'decently attractive' for a while longer."
"Good. See that you do. Now shoo."
He took a step back into the hallway.
"Thank you again, Herta."
She didn’t bother correcting him this time.
The doors slid shut between them, cutting off the corridor.
Alone in her lab, Herta sat quietly at her desk. Her mind kept drifting back to the tone of Caelus's voice when he spoke.
Madam Herta is a peerless gem. Madam Herta is an unrivaled genius. Madam Herta is an inimitable beauty.
She'd heard that phrase a thousand times. She had literally programmed them into her dolls. But hearing them from him? Such a novel feeling.
Slowly, she reached up, her fingertips brushing against her own lips where she could still feel the phantom warmth of his cheek.
"Perfectly executed," she murmured to herself, a deeply satisfied smile settling onto her face. "As expected of me."
“...I wouldn’t mind doing it again,” she added quietly.