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Group chat: The Pittlings 08/07
08:17
Dennis the menace
My head hurts.
Santos (I don’t need a nickname)
Where are you?
Dennis the menace
That is a long story
Javadi (bitches I’m legal now)
He got laid
I’m assuming.
Just realised the certainty I spoke with makes it sound like I was there
Santos (I don’t need a nickname)
Gross
And I guessed that based on your lack of a penis
Dennis the menace
Why do you always assume that I hook up with a guy?
It could have been a girl
Santos (I don’t need a nickname) reacted to this message
Javadi (bitches I’m legal now)
You have ‘bottom eyes’
Or so I’m told
Santos you told me that right?
Dennis the menace
SERIOUSLY?
FINE!
I met a guy, happy?
Santos (I don’t need a nickname)
I’m not actively sandwiched between Garcia and MILF 5000 from law and order so no.
Javadi (bitches I’m legal now)
MILF 5000?
Dennis the menace
Benson
Javadi (bitches I’m legal now)
Ok valid
Who was this guy? You did have a bit of a dance with Jesse.
Dennis the menace
No it was not Jesse
Actively trying not to sleep with coworkers.
I would advise you both try it.
Javadi (bitches I’m legal now)
Rude.
Also, trying?
Me thinks that means you are not succeeding
Santos (I don’t need a nickname)
So that’s why you weren't home, didn’t want me to hear you getting pounded into the mattress
Dennis the menace
I DO NOT HAVE BOTTOM EYES!!!
Santos (I don’t need a nickname)
You have bottom soul.
Lets ask the audience.
Santos (I don’t need a nickname) added Mel King & Samira Mohan and shared chat history
Santos (I don’t need a nickname)
Greetings
Does homotron have bottom eyes?
Dennis the menace
I will murder you
Samira
Reading, bear with.
In a certain light yes you do, sorry
Santos (I don’t need a nickname)
TOLD YOU
Dennis the menace
Mean.
Meanies.
————
Private message: Whitaker & Robby
10:32
Whitaker
So…
Robby
So
Whitaker
Is this where I look for a new job?
Robby
Do you feel uncomfortable working with me?
?
Whitaker
Sorry
Almost sent a message about being uncomfortable in another way
But not appropriate
I don’t, but I don’t know how you feel
Robby
As bad as it sounds, this isn't the first time I've slept with a student
At least I know you wont get pregnant
Whitaker
Oh
Ok
Robby
You didn’t know that did you?
Fuck
Whitaker
I did not
So was I just the latest to get some?
Robby
God no
I just meant that I’m able to be professional as well as personal
If that’s what you want?
Whitaker
Wait
You want to do this again?
Robby
You say it like last night was a chore
Whitaker
It definitely was not
But there’s still a lot to think about
Can I come back over tonight?
Robby
Yeah, I’d like that
Whitaker
To talk, I mean. Not sex
Well, maybe not right away 😉
————
Group chat: The Pittlings
11:00
Mel
Sorry, not entirely sure what that means?
Bottom eyes?
Dennis the menace
No, please no.
Santos (I don’t need a nickname)
Basically it’s this look of intense yearning one guy gives to another guy, like when he wants them to take charge.
Mel
Oh. Yes I see that
Dennis the menace
Hate you all.
Dennis the menace left the group
Santos (I don’t need a nickname) Added Dennis Whitaker to the group
Santos (I don’t need a nickname) set Dennis Whitaker’s nickname to Dennis the pussy
Dennis the pussy
Wow
Dennis the pussy changed his nickname to Dennis the menace
Dennis the menace
That’s better
————
Private message: Whitaker & Javadi
11:38
Javadi
So?
Whitaker
So? ?
Javadi
Who was it?
Whitaker
No idea what you’re talking about
Javadi
Was he at the party?
Whitaker
Not saying
Javadi
Pleeeeeeeease
Whitaker
Nope
Javadi
So just a drunken hookup?
Whitaker
I mean I was drunk when I went over there
Javadi
Do you work with him?
Whitaker
No
Javadi
You implied you’d slept with a coworker
Whitaker
And I may have done that, but that doesn’t mean that I did last night
Javadi
Gays are complicated
Whitaker
How many times do I have to say I’m bi before anyone believes me?
Javadi
Way more than you’ve already said because boy you are gay
————
Group chat: The Pittlings
12:14
Santos (I don’t need a nickname)
1 image attached
Is this cause for an intervention?
Samira
WTF?
Javadi (bitches I’m legal now)
Wow
Impressive
Scary, but impressive
Dennis the menace
I should have been a priest
Santos (I don’t need a nickname)
Can priests get their backs blown out after a work night out?
So who was it?
Dennis the menace
Just a guy I met
Santos (I don’t need a nickname)
Bullshit
Javadi (bitches I’m legal now)
Yeah you aren’t exactly a social person
Dennis the menace
Who needs social?
It was Grindr
Javadi (bitches I’m legal now)
At least say he had a condom?
Dennis the menace
…
Javadi (bitches I’m legal now)
Seriously?
Santos (I don’t need a nickname)
Dude
Samira
Not advisable
Dennis the menace
Yeah yeah but I know he’s good
Santos (I don’t need a nickname)
And just how do you know that?
Dennis the menace
God told me.