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Mav runs his fingers along Goose’s wing just like he has countless times before. He takes care in brushing out the dust, not missing a single spot and always straightening the feather out. He smooths it down, makes sure it’s lying flat and perfect before moving on to the next one. Makes sure there’s no blood he’s missed.
He went through the coverts first, the red looked so wrong on the white feathers and he needed it off, but it wasn’t any easier to get out of the dark brown, as it almost blended in when it dried.
He can still see it, Goose’s wings covered in blood, every time he closes his eyes. But today, finally, after four days of spending hours at Goose’s bedside and meticulously checking each feather, he can’t find a single drop.
Mav sighs, pleased as he runs his hand over Goose’s clean wing.
Goose’s eyes stay closed.
That’s alright. Mav knew they would. The doctors are certain he’s going to wake up eventually, that’s all that matters.
Mav didn’t kill him. That’s all that matters.
That’s all that matters.
Mav wipes his cheeks with a wet sleeve and swallows another sob.
Day five, Mav is cleaning the dust off of Goose’s wings again. His own feel heavy where he’s stretching them above his head but they don’t matter. Goose could wake up any day and when he does, his wings need to be as clean as he would keep them himself.
He hears the door open but doesn’t bother looking up from his work. The nurses always knock when he’s in, so it’s probably Carole and Mav might start crying again if he looks at her.
“Maverick,” Ice sighs softly.
Oh.
He’s been visiting the hospital more often than Mav would've expected. He knows Top Gun is keeping Ice busy but somehow, he’s been finding the time to stop by every other day. He’s been bringing food with him, and a clean shirt for Mav to change into, taking over for him for a few minutes while Mav slips into the bathroom.
The first time, coming back, Mav overheard him sniffling and apologizing to Goose, but they don’t really talk about it. They don’t say much at all during the few hours they sit here together.
Mav acknowledges him with a nod and keeps working on Goose’s wing. He’s not done yet. Ice must be here earlier than usual today.
Maybe it’s the weekend. He’s not sure.
Ice sits down next to him and quietly offers him the bag of food he brought.
Mav shakes his head. “Not hungry.“
“I know you haven’t eaten anything today,” Ice points out. “C’mon. The only way you’ll get them cleaner is if you bring oil for them. Take a break, Maverick.”
Don’t tell me what to do, he thinks, irritated, but he doesn’t have the energy to argue. It’s easier to just do it.
He practically inhales the food, ignoring Ice’s amused look, and then he follows the next steps of their routine by grabbing the clean shirt with a huff and heading into the bathroom.
He catches his own reflection in the mirror, but he doesn’t spend much time on it. He can feel how he looks, exhausted and cried out and heavy, he doesn’t need to see it too.
He knows it’s what Ice sees when he comes back into the room, looking him up and down with a frown. Mav returns to his place by Goose’s bed and reaches for his wing again, to finish preening it.
“Could I-” Ice clears his throat at his back and Mav tenses. That’s unusual. “Would you want me to do yours? Umh- your wings?”
“What?”
Ice shrugs a little too casually. “You’ve been doing a good job with Goose’s, but he’s… he can’t exactly do it for you, so I thought…” His voice fades out and Maverick swallows, his hands completely still.
“I- no one but Goose has really…” he mumbles, not exactly willing to finish that sentence. Carole preens him occasionally and he’s let Bradley practice on him a couple times, but he’s not used to…
“No, of course, that’s- that’s fine,” Ice says quickly. “Just thought I’d offer.”
Finally, they settle into their usual silence.
Except it’s not. The offer sits in the air, heavy, weighing down Mav’s back even as he tries to distract himself from the pain by focusing on Goose’s wings. It’s worked every time before but today, with Ice behind him, he can’t quite shake it.
“It’s not that simple,” he finally says quietly. “Preening my wings.”
“Oh?“ Ice audibly shifts, but he doesn’t move closer.
“Goose knows how to do it. I probably wouldn’t explain it well.”
“We could give it a shot,” Ice says softly, almost casually. “You’re usually pretty good at telling me what to do.”
A chuckle forces its way out of Mav’s throat. “No, I think that’s you.”
“Not the point,” Ice insists, but he sounds like he’s smiling.
Mav finally agrees with a sigh, shifting in his seat so he can keep working on Goose’s wing but Ice will have easier access to his own. “Just… start on the primaries,” he instructs hesitantly. “You’ll need to use a bit more pressure closer to the bone but- but start slow, okay?”
“Alright, Mav. I’ll be careful, don’t worry.”
Trust doesn't come easy to Mav, and so his first instinct when he feels Ice’s fingers touching his feathers is to flinch away, but he exhales sharply and comes back. He distracts himself with Goose’s wing and it works so well that he doesn’t realize he’s shaking until Ice asks him if he’s alright, if he’s doing something wrong.
“You’re doing fine.” His voice is also shaking when he tries to assure Ice. “I just- ‘m not used to it.”
Goose’s hands feel different. They haven’t touched him in almost so long but he knows it well, on an instinctual level, feeling the phantom touch of where they would move differently from Ice's.
Goose will wake up soon.
“Any time now,” Ice confirms, brushing a soothing hand over his wing. “Tell me what to do on the bone, is this good?” Carefully, he puts pressure on the muscle and Mav almost whines with how good it feels.
“Yeah.” He nods. “That’s great.”
Ice works through his wings very thoroughly for a very long time, even after Mav smoothes out the last of Goose’s feathers. He even convinces Mav to guide him through massaging his tense shoulders, insisting that if he’s already started it, he wants to do it properly.
“I’ll do yours when you’re done,” Mav mumbles into Goose’s bed, having laid his front on it to give Ice a better angle to work with.
“Sure you will,” Ice doesn’t sound like he believes it one bit. “You’re practically asleep, Mav.”
“Am not.”
Ice puts a bit more pressure into it and Mav’s eyes close of their own volition.
“I can wait until after you get some sleep.” Ice eases off, sliding his hands all the way to Mav’s shoulders. “C’mon. I’ll watch over you both, how’s that sound?”
“Sounds like you like me.” Mav smiles, but he doesn’t bother to open his eyes again.
Ice hums. “Maybe I do.”