Chapter Text
The night air was cool and crisp. Various shades of crimson and orange and yellow painted the leaves that clung for dear life to the spindly limbs of sickly-grey trees, though most of their leaves littered the ground all around the old wooden cabin and the smaller, newer cabins that were constructed not long after the arrival of the first.
It was strange, the way time worked in the Spectre's realm. The sudden changing of the seasons was always jarring, and it served as a bittersweet reminder of just how long they'd actually been stuck in that awful place.
Some folks could recall a handful of autumns past. Others only remembered one or two. A couple of them refused to think about the passage of time altogether.
All the same, it was autumn again. It was well-regarded as being the most cozy time of year. Days would be foggy and perhaps a little rainy if they were lucky, while the nights would be cold – almost freezing at times – which gave everyone the perfect excuse to huddle up in their blankets around the roaring fireplace and drink something warm before turning in for the night.
Together they knew they were safe from the perceived threats of the outside world. And, of course, they were never too far from another person if they needed a bit of extra comfort and warmth. At the very least, Elliot and Noob were usually down to snuggle or share a blanket with. Sometimes Taph, if they were in the mood.
This was one of those cozy nights in which the group relished in each other's silent company.
The grandfather clock noisily ticked away in the corner of the loft. The golden pendulum steadily rocked back and forth in its old wooden case, gears cranking quietly within as the mechanism moved in a gentle rhythm.
Tick… tock… tick… tock…
Taph was half-asleep on the couch all cozy and nestled in a pile of freshly laundered blankets. They had their head propped up on one arm, sleepily watching Noob as they knitted a long strip of fabric on the other end of the couch.
Elliot was up to his elbows in sudsy water. He was washing the dishes in thoughtful silence. His mind aimlessly wandered and his eyes glazed over as he meticulously scrub, scrub, scrubbed each dish to perfection. He was almost done, he just needed to clean out a few more pans…
Dusekkar sat on his favourite perch up in the rafters reading a book. It was written in a language nobody else recognized besides Taph and the other admins. A cup of herbal tea hovered by his side in an ornate cup and saucer, both engraved with mysterious runes. He pushed up his narrow reading glasses and slowly turned the page.
Tick… tock… tick… tock…
007n7 tapped away on his GUI, occasionally writing down the odd line of code in a little notebook. His handwriting was surprisingly neat as he meticulously documented seemingly random commands and disjointed code snippets. A large tabby cat was lazily stretched out belly-up between the man's leg and the arm of the chair he was occupying. Every now and then the man would reach down and run his fingers along the cat's soft belly fur, earning a gentle trill and a big stretch from the sleepy creature, and his own tail would sway softly in contentment.
Noob was hard at work on their newest knitting project. This time they were attempting to craft an infinity scarf that could be worn in a multitude of ways. Something stylish and useful for the colder months ahead. The deep indigo yarn was thick and heavy, perfect for winter wear. Their hands moved slowly, achy and stiffened by the increasingly chilly weather outside, but they had already made steady progress. They weren't about to let a little joint pain impede their work.
Tick… tock… tick… tock…
Shedletsky sat at the dining room table clumsily shuffling a deck of playing cards. Or at least… he was trying to. He was mostly just pushing them around and fumbling the loose ends, occasionally having to chase after a stray card that had slipped free and flung off into a random direction.
Chance was giggling as he gave the winged admin a few pointers on how to actually shuffle the cards correctly. When Shedletsky gave up they scooped up the cards and deftly shuffled the deck between their hands. Their movements were more akin to those of a stage magician. Shedletsky was pissed that he couldn't do the same. It looked so easy, how was he possibly fucking it up this badly?!
Guest 1337 watched the exchange in mild amusement. The soldier was only halfway paying attention to them. He was more occupied by a nagging feeling at the back of his skull, one that had been bothering him all evening. Not quite the feeling of being watched… no, this was something else. Something was different. He just couldn't place what exactly was wrong.
Tick… tock… tick–
There was a harsh knock on the front door.
Guest bristled. His hands tensed into fists as he snapped to attention, his eyes now glued to the front door. The rest of the survivors seemed less alarmed, barely lifting their gaze from whatever task they were doing.
The knob jiggled. It didn't budge. Another knock. More insistent this time.
Guest went to stand, but Noob was already on their feet.
“I got it!” They chirped, and they moved to the door quicker than Guest could object or offer to get it himself.
He tensed up as the door swung open…
… Builderman was standing there with a stormy expression. Noob greeted the man with a warm hello and quickly invited him inside and out of the cold.
“Sorry to bother y'all,” he swiftly made his way through the loft with a determined look in his eyes. “Two Time still ain't doin’ too well. Told them I'd get ‘em some tea before I headed to bed m’self.”
Elliot glanced up from the sink with a hint of concern creasing his features.
“They’re still not feeling any better? It's been, what, three days now?”
“Four,” the admin nodded as he grabbed a small mug out of the cupboard. “Five if y’count how long it took ‘em to finally tell someone.”
Elliot grimaced.
“Shit, man. I hope they're gonna be okay.”
“Hey, maybe we can make something like chicken soup for dinner tomorrow,” Shedletsky suggested.
“Yeah, maybe. If the garden’s still alive by then.”
“And if we can catch some birds.”
“That too.”
Elliot held up a large plate, carefully inspecting it for any stray food particles. Satisfied, he set it aside to let it air dry.
“Hmm… we'll figure something out.”
Noob had already returned to their knitting project, but they were visibly troubled by their teammate's rapidly-deteriorating condition.
“D-don’t they usually get super s-s-sick right before something really b-bad happens?”
“Huh… yeah.” Chance set the cards down, their voice only a little more serious than normal. “Yeah, now that you mention it… doesn't this usually happen whenever we get a new killer or something?”
“Or survivor, yeah,” Shedletsky added, equally as uneasy.
Guest nodded. “And right before there's any big changes to the cabin or our surroundings.”
Taph nudged Noob with her foot to get their attention and made a few slow, sleepy gestures. Noob frowned and gripped their knitting needles a little tighter.
“T-Taph says it happens with n-new maps t-too. And, uh… I-I’ve seen them get sick bef– right before we get we– re-real–” they paused to let out a frustrated sigh at their struggle to speak. “… really. Bad. Weather.”
Several people nodded in agreement, a collective hope that that's all it was this time. Builderman was the only one who seemed skeptical.
“I don't reckon this is storm sick, kid.”
“I agree.” Guest got up from his seat to help Builderman with the tea. He needed something to do with his hands. “I've also had a bad feeling as of late. Something's up.”
Shedletsky folded his hands together so he would stop tugging at his feathers.
“Like what? Nothing's really even changed lately except the weather. That kind of shift usually makes all of us feel a little gross for a while, right?"
Builderman tossed a doubtful glance towards his fellow admin.
“Shed, with all due respect, you wouldn't notice half the changes ‘round here if someone else didn't point it out first.”
“Wh– hey, that's not true!” He crossed his arms defensively, puffing up his wings. “I notice lots of things! I just don't feel the need to say anything, that's all.”
Elliot scoffed.
“You? Not saying anything? Willingly? Gimme a break, dude.”
007n7 let out a short laugh, never looking up from his work.
“Yeah, that's a first.”
Chance leaned back in his seat with a hearty chuckle.
“Damn, you know it's bad when those two are agreeing on something.”
Elliot rolled his eyes with a faint smile.
“I bet you didn't even notice Chance's new haircut, huh?”
“What?!”
Shedletsky stiffened, spinning around to stare at the gambler. He frantically scanned their hair for a moment in visible confusion.
“I mean… sure I did! It looks great! Right, guys?”
Elliot burst into laughter. Chance was polite enough to muffle a snorting laugh behind his hand. Builderman just smiled and shook his head. Shedletsky looked even more puzzled.
“What's so funny? It looks fine from here! I mean… it'll grow out if you don't like it…”
Nearly the whole cabin was in hysterics.
Dusekkar finally spoke up from the rafters, “My dearest companion, they mock you in jest. There was no such haircut, though perhaps that would be best.”
Shedletsky looked simultaneously relieved and betrayed.
“Damn. If no one's got me, Matt's got me.”
Noob snickered, then lightly tugged on one of Taph's blankets. Taph's hood turned very slightly, and Noob subtly held up their right hand to quickly sign something that made both of them fall into a fit of silent giggles.
Chance was all smiles until he finally processed what the rhyming admin had just said about his hair. He gasped in mock offense and grabbed at his luscious silver locks.
“Hey! It takes a lot of work to keep this mane so soft and luxurious, thank you very much! Unlike some of us, I actually care about my looks.”
Shedletsky cackled.
“Oh, that's rich coming from the guy that becomes a literal smoke cloud when their gun explodes in their hands mid-chase.”
“Yeah, well at least I look damn good doing it. You, my friend, just look like a kicked puppy when you whiff your sword swing.”
“I do not!”
Shedletsky gave Builderman a pitiful look.
“… Do I?”
Builderman returned a pitying gaze.
“Well–”
There was another knock at the door, heavy and persistent.
Guest tensed up. The small mug nearly overflowed as his grip on the kettle faltered.
“Ah, speak of the devil,” Builderman muttered. “Dadgummit, I done told ‘em to stay put…”
The admin pushed the box of tea bags towards Guest, whose stern expression made the whole tea-making process look very intense.
Builderman tossed a glance over his shoulder. “Noob, y’mind lettin’ Two Time in?”
Noob was already in the process of untangling themself from Taph's shared blankets and their craft project. Guest’s stomach sank in an all-too-familiar way as that awful feeling returned to him.
Something wasn't right about that knock. It sounded too deliberate, too harsh to have come from the sickly sentinel. And the young cultist seemed to have a very particular way of knocking – a pattern, a distinct rhythm to it.
This knock wasn't made in that pattern.
The soldier must've had that faraway look in his eyes again, or perhaps he’d been subconsciously moving towards the door because Builderman put a hand quite firmly on his arm to ground him. The admin slid the half-empty bottle of honey towards him with a slight nod.
“Kid’s probably gonna want their tea right about now, I reckon. Let's not keep ‘em waitin’ too long.”
Guest gave a terse nod and reluctantly turned his attention back to the cup of tea. It wouldn't make itself, after all.
Noob, at last, had stood up and scurried over to the front door. They wasted no time opening it, and they were just about to greet their teammate with a kind smile when they stopped short. They weren't eye-level with a pale and sickly cultist, but rather a pristine suit partially hidden beneath the folds of a dark trench coat.
Standing on the other side of the door was very much not Two Time.
Noob slowly lifted their eyes until they met the solemn glare of Mafioso.
The man's imposing frame took up the whole doorway. His eyes were mostly hidden in the shadow of his fedora, but Noob could still feel his keen-eyed gaze piercing their soul like a knife.
Noob’s welcoming words died in their throat. They stared up at the man who was well over a head taller than them with nothing less than pure, abject terror.
“Uh–?!”
The mafia boss held his hands up in a pacifying gesture.
“Don’t be afraid, kid. We just–”
Noob let out a shrill, strangled gasp and loudly slammed the door shut in the man's face. They spun around and pressed their back up against the old wooden door to hold it shut. The rest of the survivors glanced over at them in confusion, having just missed the sight beyond the doorway.
“Oh no, oh no, oh no–!”
“Noob? What’s wrong? Who was that?” Chance asked, rotating in his seat to face them.
Noob's abrupt, wide-eyed terror had deeply alarmed the rest of the group. Their breaths had become quick and unsteady in their panic, leaving their mouth feeling dry like cotton. It took everything they had not to faint right then and there from the stress of it all.
They finally blurted out, “I-it's Mr. Mafioso!”
It was like the air had been sucked out of the room. Nobody had been paying any mind to the young survivalist answering the door, but suddenly everyone was sitting up straight or standing at attention. All eyes were focused on them now. They were absolutely shaking in their metaphorical boots. Even the cat had leapt up from his comfy napping spot and was now perched atop the couch with his ears flat against his skull and his tail all puffed up in alarm. The normally passive animal was growling softly at the door.
“Mafioso?” Shedletsky stood from his seat, his hand swiftly finding the hilt of his sword. “Like– like the mob boss guy? The killer? That Mafioso?”
“Yes! That Mafioso!” Noob whisper-yelled at the admin like he was an idiot.
Guest set down the freshly brewed cup of tea, somehow looking much more serious than usual as he left the kitchen and briskly approached the young survivalist.
Of course it happened the moment he looked away… he should know better.
“Are you sure it was him?”
Noob quickly nodded. They flinched when another harsh knock rattled the whole door. This time the voice calling from the other side was unmistakable.
“‘Ey, like I was saying, we're not here to hurt you, kid. Just open the door so we can talk this through.”
The cat let out a long, low growl.
Chance stiffened as soon as he'd heard the man's gruff voice. He knew that voice better than most of his fellow survivors. His throat felt like it was closing up.
There was no mistaking it. Mafioso was at their cabin.
Elliot nearly dropped the dish he'd been scrubbing. He stood between the kitchen and loft holding the soapy porcelain plate in front of him like a shield. His eyes were glued to the door.
“What the fuck? How the hell did he even get here? How did he know where to find us?”
“I don't know, man,” Chance said, trying their best to play it cool, “But they're a pretty damn persistent bunch, eh?”
Shedletsky squinted at the gambler. He could see their stoic poker face beginning to crack.
“Hey, wait– Chance, don't you owe these guys like five bucks or something?” He asked.
Chance chuckled nervously.
“Ahh… maybe..? Er, well, uh… maybe just a little more than that…”
“Chance!” Elliot shouted, staring at him in disbelief. “You're in debt with the fucking mafia?!”
He held up his hands as if Elliot was about to strike him.
“Hey, man, look! They're the ones who can't handle losing their own games, okay? I won that prize fair and square!”
He was silenced by a shout and another harsh knock on the door.
“We’re not going anywhere, fellas. Open the bloody door before I have my boys kick it down for me.”
Chance stood up from their seat so fast that they nearly knocked their chair over. They ducked into the kitchen and out of sight. Elliot rolled his eyes as the gambler cowered behind the stove like a scared little kid.
“Noob, get behind me,” Guest instructed. He put himself between them and the door, shoulders squared and prepared to fight.
Taph had stood up from their blanket nest and grabbed the survivalist by the arms. Noob nearly flew out of their skin from fright, but didn't fight back as Taph dragged them further away from the door.
007n7 stepped up next to the pair with his GUI in hand. Noob could see that he'd already prepared his teleport command, though they couldn't tell from the coordinates where they could possibly warp to, or even if it would buy them enough time to escape.
What were they supposed to do with the literal Mafia hunting them down at their own camp?
Where could they even go?
Was anywhere truly safe?
“Matt, get that beam ready!” Shedletsky called out. He readied himself to charge in and give Guest some much-needed backup should the need arise. He didn't yet brandish his weapon, just in case that might escalate the situation further than they were prepared for.
Dusekkar drifted down from the rafters to stand by Shedletsky's side, and Builderman stood stoically on his other side seconds later with his hammer gripped tightly in one hand. The older admin didn't have many of the tools needed to make anything of use, but he’d sure as hell provide a distraction so his weaker teammates could get away.
Guest braced himself against the door.
“What are you doing here, Sonnelino?” He demanded. “How did you find us?”
“Our shared captor dropped us off, believe it or not. We had no choice in the matter.”
“That's bullshit,” Shedletsky hissed. Builderman lightly smacked his arm as a warning for him to shut the hell up.
“Oh, yeah? No choice in the matter?” Guest responded slowly, choosing every word carefully. “What do you mean by that?”
“Exactly what it sounds like. We cannot leave. Now do you mind opening the door so I don't have to shout at you lot?”
Guest hesitated. Then his hand landed on the doorknob. Shedletsky's feathers bristled.
“What are you doing?!” He whispered harshly, drawing his sword as he took a defensive stance.
The soldier shot an intense look in his direction.
“Stand down, Shed. We’re just talking.”
Builderman pushed down on one of Shedletsky's arms until he lowered the weapon. His wings were still puffed up in apprehension.
The mafia boss spoke up again with a distinct tone of annoyance.
“If I truly wanted you lot dead I wouldn't have knocked.”
“Dammit, he's got a point,” Elliot hissed.
“No, no he doesn't.” Shedletsky's grip tightened on his sword. “He's just trying to make us drop our guard.”
Dusekkar's hand barely brushed against his.
“My friend, as much as I would love to agree, perhaps we should listen and heed their pleas.”
“They're killers, Matt! We can't trust anything they say!”
“I know it must be hard to accept that their motives may be true, but I would much rather hear them out while we have them in plain view.”
Shedletsky narrowed his eyes at the door.
“Okay… fine. But if anyone tries anything–”
Dusekkar held the man's wrist and magically pried the sword from his grasp.
“Hey!”
He tried to grab it back from him, only for Dusekkar to hover the weapon high up into the air, well out of reach even while the winged admin pouted.
“Promise me that you will not strike unless our guests prove intentions alike.”
Shedletsky turned to Builderman for support, but the older admin just gave him that stern look that told him he'd better listen.
Shedletsky huffed in dismay.
“Ugh– fine, fine! I promise! Just gimme that–!”
The sword was swiftly returned to him, and he reluctantly lowered the weapon to his side.
“If you two are done flirting,” Guest muttered in a stern, almost scolding tone, “What do you say we just… open the door already?”
Shedletsky rolled his eyes.
“Yeah. Yeah, let's just get this over with.”
Guest returned the smallest nod of affirmation. However, as sure as he was that he would be able to keep his people safe should things go awry, he still hesitated.
Things could go very wrong, very fast, and he would only have himself to blame for opening that door.
But his teammates looked like they were more than ready to kick some mafia ass. And so, after another agonizing moment of silence he took a long, steady breath to steel his nerves, then tightened his grip around the doorknob…
He slowly swung the door open and braced for impact. Shedletsky’s hands remained steady on the hilt of his sword. Dusekkar raised his staff. Noob squeezed 007n7’s arm. Taph protectively folded their arms around the young survivalist, extending their fluffed-up wings as far out as they could go.
And there, on the other side of the door, was Mafioso. He was standing on their porch as clear as day. Behind him, his four loyal goons stood by with their weapons by their sides, warily eyeing the survivors huddled together within the cabin.
The cat leaped down from the couch and skidded to a stop between Guest and the group of killers. It stood with its back arched and its tail sticking straight up as it hissed and spat at the man and his lackeys. The cat's fur was all puffed up, and it swiped a single paw in the killers' direction as a warning.
“Kitty, no–!” Noob gasped, and Taph did his best to hold them back.
The mafia boss paid no mind to the small critter that was trying its best to be intimidating. Instead, he made careful eye contact with Guest and gave a short nod.
“You have my word, soldier. We aren't here to cause any trouble, and I am a man that stays true to his word.”
“I can attest to that!” Chance called out from the kitchen.
Mafioso raised a brow, but paid the cowering gambler no mind. His gaze remained locked on Guest.
“What do you folks say we call a truce, just for the time being?”
The man slowly held out a gloved hand. Not in a threatening way – but as a greeting. A peace offering.
The soldier studied the man's stoic face but found a frustrating lack of emotion, let alone even the smallest hint of deception. He then glanced at the four young men standing behind him, their weapons in hand with white-knuckled grips and tense shoulders. They were much less emotionally guarded than their boss.
Interesting…
Guest straightened up and met the other’s hand with a firm handshake.
“A truce it is, then,” Guest stated.
The mob boss grinned, and for a moment the soldier felt sick to his stomach. He was hit with a wave of dread and a deeply uncomfortable feeling that he'd just made a deal with the devil.
“Excellent,” Mafioso purred, “Your cooperation is appreciated in these… unusual circumstances.”
Guest was the one to break the handshake. He crossed his arms over his chest, very intentionally blocking the doorway still.
“So what brings you all the way out here, Sonnelino? Besides the Spectre, of course.”
“It’s a bit of a complicated scenario, you see. May we come inside to have a quick chat about our circumstances?”
Guest looked back at his teammates. Most were visibly tense – some were terrified – but nobody vocally opposed the idea. Except the cat – who was still growling and defensively crab-walking around behind Guest like a little cryptid.
“Leave your weapons at the door,” Shedletsky commanded in a voice that didn't really feel like his own. “And don't let them come in any further than the couch.”
Builderman nodded firmly.
“And take yer shoes off before y'all start trackin’ mud all over the place, if y’don’t mind.”
Mafioso lifted a hand and snapped his fingers twice.
“You heard the men, fellas. Shoes off, weapons down.”
Shedletsky instructed Dusekkar and Builderman to herd the rest of their team to the other side of the couch while the little mafia family obediently removed their shoes under his and Guest's (and the cat's) watchful eyes. The soldier directed each of the goons to sit on the cushioned bench right next to the door one by one, and Mafioso remained a respectful distance outside the door while his men made their way inside.
He looked suspiciously like he was waiting for something. Or perhaps someone.
Shedletsky didn't trust him one bit.
“So, uh… Don…”
He almost flinched when the mob boss made silent eye contact. He forced his wings to relax, pushing down his unease to plaster on his most practiced Telamon-smile.
“Did the other killers finally kick you guys out or did the five of you just randomly decide to join the survivor’s team for a little while?”
Mafioso quietly chuckled.
“If only the truth was so black and white.”
“Oh, yeah? What do you mean by that?”
The last of the goons made his way inside, and the mob boss finally set his own shoes down next to the other four pairs as he stepped into the cabin.
“Well, you see–”
“SURPRIIISE!”
Before Mafioso could finish his sentence a dark figure clad in a tattered purple cloak pushed past both him and Shedletsky and burst into the cabin with a dramatic twirl, giggling playfully at the other survivors' horrified expressions as they cowered behind the furniture. The cat yowled in distress and darted out of the living room, disappearing behind the stairs where Chance was still crouched down behind the kitchen cabinets.
The figure’s glitchy voice was unmistakable.
Noli was in their cabin now.
“Goooood evening everyone! Did you miss me? I bet you missed me! Tell me you missed me!”
007n7 stood up from his chair so fast he made himself dizzy. His tail lashed from side to side in quick, agitated movements.
“Noli?! What the hell are you doing here?”
Noli cackled and draped himself over Mafioso's shoulders.
“Aww, that's no way to greet an old friend now, is it, Seven?”
007n7’s fists clenched by his sides. “We are not friends.”
Mafioso groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose in annoyance.
“Must you always make such a scene?”
“Ohhh, Mafi, have you no joy or whimsy?” Noli dramatically pressed a hand to his forehead and mock fainted into Mafioso's arms. “You know I simply can't stand to wait around for you to finish your dull business talk!”
“You are the reason we cannot have anything nice.”
“But– but Mafi, my villain monologue!” The frown on Noli’s mask almost seemed to deepen. “I worked really hard on it! I had a whole speech planned out and everything…”
Shedletsky readied his sword in a silent warning.
“And you think we wanted to stand around and listen to it?” He sneered, pointing his weapon at the pair of killers. “What the hell do you think you're doing here, Noli? What do you want from us?”
“You didn't tell us you had company,” Guest narrowed his eyes at Mafioso.
One of the goons – the one with a biker's hat and headphones – threw his hands up in surrender, looking genuinely surprised and perhaps a little fearful.
“W-we were gonna tell you, honest! Uh– right, boss?”
The mob boss shot a withering glare at the masked deity now hanging off of his shoulders.
“Yes, well, perhaps I would have been able to if a certain somebody had just given me a moment to explain our situation–”
“Weee're moving in!” Noli proudly announced.
The cabin immediately erupted into a shouting match of outraged protests and denials.
“WHAT?!” Noob exclaimed and jumped to their feet alongside 007n7. They clung to his arm as their head swam and their vision filled with dark spots. “No, n-no, no way! W-we can't let you– y-y-you can't just do that!”
Taph tossed a handful of indecent gestures in their direction before grabbing a hold of Noob so they didn't fall over.
007n7’s eye twitched.
“I really don't think that's a very good idea.”
“Yeah, no! Absolutely not!” Elliot shouted, making several people flinch. “This isn't some fuckin’ hostel where we can all just live together under one roof. I think the fuck not.”
Chance leaned around the corner of the stairwell to keep a careful eye on the mafia family and the undead deity that were now gathered in their loft.
“Yeesh, I already wasn't on good terms with these guys. We’re not letting six whole killers just live in our cabin with us.”
“Settle down, settle down,” Builderman’s booming voice made everyone fall silent. “Let's not get ahead of ourselves, now. We can figure somethin’ out, I'm sure of it.”
Dusekkar lowered his staff until the base was touching the floor and he leaned against it like a crutch.
“Lest we be hasty in deciding their fate, perhaps we should listen before it’s too late.”
Shedletsky's sword never wavered.
“Right. So what makes you think we'd ever let you guys stay here with us?”
Noli released Mafioso from his grasp – much to the man's visible relief – and marched further into the cabin with a purpose.
“It's simple, really! You people will host us for as long as we need without complaint–”
Shedletsky followed him, sword pointed at his throat.
“Stop! Don't move another step.”
Noli paused, slowly turning to face the winged swordsman with a look of clear disdain creeping across his broken mask. He pressed the tip of a gloved finger against the sword’s edge and casually moved it out of his face, leaning forward so he could be eye-level with Shedletsky.
“– and we won't kill any of you. It's that simple, really!”
Noli giggled as the admin yanked back in fear – or was it disgust? – and he continued to saunter his way over to the couch in the middle of the loft.
“Really, darlings, it's in your best interest to just play along! What fun would it be to just kill you all right here and take over your cabin for ourselves? Can't we all just get along for once? Is that really so much to ask for?”
“You're one to preach peace and tranquility,” Mafioso grumbled.
Noli laughed and idly spun his void star on the tip of his finger.
“You simply lack vision, Mafi, dear. You know what they say about first impressions!”
“Hardly the first, I'd say.”
As the pair continued to bicker, 007n7’s eyes remained locked on Noli in silent horror. The conversation between the killers faded to static in the back of his mind. He couldn't focus on a word either of them said, too distracted by the way the godlike being was staring back at him with the single white pinprick that remained in his darkened eye socket. The deity's whimsical gaze was trained on him alone even as Noli addressed the whole cabin with his dramatic nonsense.
“Why do you people even need to stay here in the first place?” Guest demanded. He sounded pissed, and all eyes turned to him. “Don’t you people have anywhere else to go?”
Noli leaned against the back of the couch and rested his chin in his palms. Thankfully his attention was drawn back to the tense soldier still standing by the front door.
“Well, the big guy upstairs told us we'd be staying here for a little while. At least until our own camp is fixed up, of course.”
“Okay… now what exactly do you mean by ‘fixed up’?”
“Didn't you get the memo? We're getting a new expansion! Soon we'll have plenty of space for the kids to frolic and our new roommates will have their own living spaces.”
All of the survivors went completely rigid.
New roommates?
Did that mean there were even more new killers coming soon?
And if so… who?
Noli brought a hand to his mask with a mischievous little giggle.
“Whoopsies! Oh dear, did I say that out loud? Hm, silly me…”
“You know full well what you just did.” Mafioso deadpanned. “Honestly, enough dancing around the subject.”
Mafioso turned to the survivors.
“Our shared captor has left us here against our will. We are unsure of when we will be allowed back at our own camp. I believe it would be wise for all of us to… well, hm. Perhaps ‘get along’ is a bit of a tall order. Can we all agree to be civil at the very least until order is restored?”
Guest nodded once and peered over his shoulder.
“You guys think we can handle a bit less violence for a little while?”
Noob nodded very quickly, their eyes wide like saucers and almost tearful.
“I don't… really mind having some, uh… peace– peace and… quiet, for once.”
Taph gave a thumbs-up.
007n7 tersely nodded with a vacant stare.
“Hey, I'm cool with being civil,” Elliot shrugged. "As long as nobody tries anything sus, we're good."
Chance tried very hard not to look at the mafia crew. “Yep! Civil is cool! Mhm! Sounds good to me!”
Guest shifted his gaze to the trio of admins scattered across the room.
“We're all in agreement, then?”
Dusekkar gave a subtle nod. Shedletsky seemed unsure for a moment, but soon followed suit and fully lowered his sword to his side. Builderman tipped his hat with a matching nod.
“The kid's right. I reckon we could all use a bit of peace an’ quiet ‘round here for once.”
Guest met Mafioso's intense gaze once more.
“Well, Sonnelino, I can't say I fully trust all of you not to cause any trouble, but I trust my team’s judgement… and their ability to handle themselves by any means necessary.”
Mafioso chuckled.
“Don't worry about me or my crew, Private. I'll make sure my boys stay on their best behaviour.”
He shot Noli an icy glare.
“Although some of us might not be so cooperative.”
Noli gasped dramatically, bringing a hand to his non-existent heart.
“Mafi, how could you? I've been nothing but a joy to be around since the moment we arrived! And now we get to live alongside some of our favourite people!”
“Noli…”
“What? I'm just saying! Some of us have already been roommates before. It only makes sense for us to share a room again.”
007n7 shivered as the deity's playful gaze landed on him again.
“Doesn't that sound like so much fun, Seven?”
The man flinched. His face contorted into a scowl that made Noli giggle relentlessly.
“Aww, what's the matter, Sevvie?” He crooned. “Cat got your tongue?”
“That's enough, Noli,” Mafioso warned.
007n7’s jaw clenched. Hearing that affectionate nickname after so long, especially coming from him… it made his skin crawl. His tail curled tightly against his leg in discomfort.
“Don't… don't call me that.”
His reaction only fueled the cloaked deity's whimsical laughter.
“Oh, but why not? I thought you couldn't get enough of it! Don't you remember?”
In fact, he did. He did remember.
He didn't want to remember.
He didn't want this Noli to remember.
“That name was never meant for you,” 007n7 spat, every word dripping with venom. “And we're not roommates anymore, and I don't plan on ever doing that again. So you'd– you'd better shut your damn mouth before I–”
“Now, now,” Mafioso held up a gloved hand. “Take it easy, folks. Let's not fight in front of the kids. They see enough of that back at our own cabin.”
Shedletsky looked at the four goons sitting on the bench next to the doorway in confusion. He tentatively pointed to them.
“These… kids..?”
“No, not them, you dolt.”
The mafia boss sighed with his entire chest, then turned his head to shout something into the darkness behind him.
“Mr. Jason, are the children finally behaving themselves?”
Guest tensed up. So did 007n7 and Elliot.
There was a faint hiss, like a breeze blowing through a crypt. It was a sound the survivors knew all too well. Mafioso nodded once and motioned to the cabin.
“Bring them in out of the cold, if you would.”
There was the sound of heavy boots climbing the porch steps, followed by the scrambling of one– no, two– no… three sets of much lighter footsteps following right behind. One of those sets was much faster than the others, and even before the shadowy silhouette of Slasher made it to the door–
“Papa!!”
A blur of red about half the height of the silent killer came barreling through the cabin. 007n7 barely had time to open his mouth before his little boy charged into him at full tilt, nearly sending both of them crashing to the floor.
“Woah! Easy there, kiddo!”
He couldn't believe it. C00lkidd – his little boy – was actually little. Unlike the monstrous form he'd taken on during the rounds, now he was the size of the average ten-year-old, if not a tad smaller. The boy's tail whipped around excitedly and he buried his face into his father's shirt, clinging to him with a hug that wasn't agonizingly bone crushing, for once.
007n7 felt bad for flinching at the contact, but it didn't seem like the kid noticed at all.
“I missed you sooo much, dad! Now we can finally play together as long as we want without that stupid timer or any of those other dumb rules!”
The boy's voice was muffled by his father's shirt until he tilted his head up to gaze at the man with a gap-toothed smile that held nothing less than complete adoration.
Even after so long spent apart, c00lkidd very clearly loved his father.
007n7’s eyes stung. It was like his son had never left.
“I–” he chuckled to disguise the hitch in his voice. “I missed you too, kiddo. Come here.”
He bent down and picked up his little boy, embracing him just as tightly as he used to.
He was so much lighter than he remembered. He sorely missed the boy's chubby baby stage.
C00lkidd wrapped his arms tightly around his father's neck and rested his little chin on his shoulder. 007n7 secured his own arms around the boy’s scrawny frame so he wouldn't fall.
He was so thin now. Was he eating enough?
The man flinched when a certain deity spoke up in a condescending tone.
“Aww, how sweet! What a happy little famil–!”
Slasher smacked Noli in the back of the head to shut him up.
“OW!” Noli held his head, whipping around to confront the masked killer. “What was that for?!”
Slasher crossed his arms with a huff.
“Ki, ki… ma, ma…”
“Oh, is that so?”
He made some subtle gestures that made Taph snicker silently, and Noli gasped indignantly.
“Hey now! Don't you use that tone with me, buddy!”
Mafioso smacked both of the men in the back of the head.
“Behave, both of you. We don't need to create any more animosity with our hosts now, do we?”
007n7 gave the mafia boss a grateful look. He could've sworn the man acknowledged him with a slight nod before turning to glare at Noli.
“And you should know better than to stir the pot. We've talked about this, Mr. Noli.”
“Oh, so now I'm not allowed to be happy for Sevvie getting to see his kid again?”
“You know that's not what I meant.”
“Have you no heart, Mafi? Just look how happy they are together! Isn't it just the sweetest thing you've ever seen?"
“It is pretty heartwarming, isn't it?” One of Mafioso's lackeys spoke up, then pushed up the brim of his white hat with a smile.
“Yeah!” The one with the biker hat beamed. “Can't blame the kid for missin’ his dad now, can we?”
“I wish I had a dad,” The goon with the tall hat said wistfully.
The one next to him nodded and pushed up his dark sunglasses with a quiet sniffle. The one with the white hat gave him an odd look.
“Are… are you crying, Cap?”
The man reached under his sunglasses with a soft chuckle.
“Sorry, fellas. You know I’m a sucker for a happy ending.”
It was then that the other two children in the group finally made themselves known. Bluudud stepped out from behind Slasher to glare mockingly at c00lkidd and 007n7.
“Mm, I dunno, guys. Seems kinda lame to me.”
Pr3typriincess giggled and joined in the teasing.
“Yeah! Only babies still cry for their papa when they get hurt!”
“Hey!” C00lkidd turned to pout in their direction. “Don't be mean!”
“Kids, behave,” Mafioso scolded the pair.
“Oh, Telamon, you've gotta be kidding me,” Elliot muttered. “How are we supposed to deal with all three of them?”
007n7 bristled and whipped around to face the pizza man.
“I think I can handle my son just fine, Elliot.”
Elliot was taken aback by the man's outburst. He opened his mouth to say something back, but he couldn't seem to decide between snapping at him and apologizing.
“I– sh– crap, Seven, that's not what I– you know I didn't– I just–”
“Oooooooh, the girls are fighting!” Noli teased, though it was very clearly not in a lighthearted way. “Hey, pizza twink, you should totally punch him.”
Elliot's eyes widened in shock.
“What?! N-no! I'm not just gonna punch a guy who's holding a kid!”
C00lkidd gave his father a worried look and whatever spark of anger 007n7 held in his chest instantly fizzled out. The man let out a tired sigh and looked towards Elliot.
“Sorry. I… shouldn't have snapped like that. Can we, uh… talk about this later?”
“Uh… yeah. That's… yeah, that's fine.”
007n7 whipped out his GUI and gave his son a gentle smile.
“Hey, ‘Kidd, whaddya say we go for a quick walk? Let's give the adults some time to figure this out on their own, okay?”
C00lkidd gasped and flapped his hands excitedly.
“Oooh! Yesss! Teleporter! Teleporter!”
Noli scowled and threw his head back with a dramatic groan.
“You people are just no fun!”
007n7 subtly flipped Noli the bird behind his GUI where c00lkidd conveniently couldn't see. Noli only noticed it a split-second before the man and his son disappeared into a cloud of black and red glitches, too late to do anything about it except pout.
Noob looked like they were going to be sick. They bent over and put their hands on their knees, trying their best to steady themself.
“I ju– I don't know what's going on an-anymore… I-I'm so confused…”
Taph gently patted their back in a subtle attempt to console them. She knew they needed some alone time, badly, but it didn't look like they'd be able to get that for a while.
Elliot looked over at the kitchen where Chance was petting the cat with the most stressed-out expression he'd ever seen. He couldn't blame them. Being forced into an eternal death match with the guys they were deeply indebted to must suck. And now…
Well, it couldn't get much worse than living with them.
Guest breathed a long, weary sigh into his hands. Shedletsky slowly rested a hand on the man's shoulder.
“Hey, buddy, relax! It's not all bad! At least we haven't seen a certain someone, if y'know what I mean…”
Just then, there was a harsh tapping from the window next to the front door. Four sharp knocks, with the fourth trailing into a shrill screech against the glass. Nearly everyone in the cabin clamped their hands over their ears, and those who didn't cover their ears found themselves gritting their teeth against the horribly grating sound. Taph and Shedletsky's feathers bristled so violently it hurt.
Shedletsky, whose back was to the window, noticed the horrified stares of his fellow survivors. Those whose eyes were visible were all staring at the same spot somewhere over his left shoulder. He forced a tight-lipped smile and gulped loudly, sweat beading on his brow.
“Ah. She's… right behind me, isn't she?”
Noob whimpered and hid behind Taph, who puffed up like the angriest bird anyone had ever seen. The cat growled even louder, backing up into Chance's arms, and Elliot did pretty much the same. Dusekkar grabbed Builderman's hood like he was scruffing a cat before he could do something he wouldn't live long enough to regret.
Bluudud, pr3typriincess, and all four of Mafioso's henchmen looked like a bunch of kids who'd been put in time-out while the other two killers seemed generally unbothered by the whole ordeal.
Guest looked at Shedletsky, who was sweating bullets and still refusing to turn around.
“Shedletsky…”
The feathered admin quickly shook his head.
“Nuh-uh! He's not real if I can't see him!”
Everyone simultaneously jumped when 1x suddenly slapped her hand against the window.
“SHEDLETSKY!” They bellowed, “FACE ME, YOU COWARD!”
The man's feathers bristled but he didn't comply. His eyes were so incredibly wide.
“Nothing to see here, everyone! It's… just the wind!”
Shedletsky laughed nervously. Bluudud gave him a very unamused look.
“Yeaaah, I don't think that's how that works, buddy,” bluudud said flatly.
“Oh, yeah?” Shedletsky whirled around, puffing his wings out as he glared at the blue child. “And what makes you such an expert on how things work around here, you little–”
Mafioso loudly cleared his throat.
“Surely we've not resorted to fighting with the children now, have we, Mr. Shedletsky?”
“I–”
The two kids giggled as Shedletsky withered under the mafia man's scrutiny.
“Oooo, bird man's in trouble,” pr3typriincess teased in a singsong voice.
Bluudud blew a raspberry at him and crossed his arms, standing smugly by Mafioso's side.
1x dragged their claws down the glass like a feral animal.
“You can't hide from me, Shedletsky,” they seethed. “You are only delaying the inevitable.”
Mafioso ever so slightly tilted his head towards the window. “Do not.”
The creation of hatred let out a long-suffering growl. She pushed herself away from the window and slinked through the still very much wide-open doorway. Shedletsky still refused to turn around, and he bristled even more as he felt the killer approach. His feathers puffed up and a wave of fearful goosebumps covered his whole body when she finally spoke again. This time she was so much closer than he was comfortable with.
“I don't understand why you would let Noli hold us captive for that entire performance, yet I get scolded for simply returning a favor.”
Shedletsky had never turned around so fast.
“What the hell does that mean–?!”
“I did not let Mr. Noli make a fool of himself,” Mafioso corrected her, “He is more than capable of doing that on his own.”
“Why, thank you!” Noli smirked, clearly not understanding the man's backhanded jab.
1x just barely turned their crimson gaze towards the pair of children standing between Slasher and Mafioso.
“Children.”
Their voice was low, their tone sharp enough to cut through the air like a sword. Both of the kids snapped to attention as soon as the being spoke.
“Run along, now. The adults have some important business to discuss.”
Bluudud gave them a nonchalant shrug.
“Pshh, yeah, whatever. Let’s ditch these losers, pr3ty.”
The small pink child turned up her nose and marched right out of the cabin without him.
“Hmph! Yeah, whatever! It’s not like I wanted to stick around and watch Uncle Noli rip these guys a new one anyway!”
Bluudud spluttered for a moment in surprise.
“Dude, pr3ty, you can't say that…”
1x kept their eyes narrowed on the boy until he followed pr3typriincess out onto the porch. Only when the kids had disappeared from view did they turn their attention back to the rest of the cabin. Their mere presence felt almost suffocating in the cabin’s loft that very suddenly felt very, very small.
Despite the many sets of eyes now focused solely on them, 1x was unintimidated. He stood a little taller and let out a long sigh that sounded like rattling chains. Half of the survivors instinctively flinched and stepped out of the way, even though 1x himself barely moved.
“I loathe to admit that Noli is right about something for once,” he began, drawing the attention of the entire cabin, “But it is true. The Spectre has left us with no choice but to stay here until it will allow us to return to our camp.”
“Which won’t be for a good long while!” Noli sidled up next to 1x with a snide grin, though he was careful not to touch them, especially when they gave him a stern glare that burned like fire behind their eyes.
“Yes… unfortunately.”
“And that means we should all get along until order is restored! We can all be friends for a little while, can’t we, 1x?”
She stared at him, unmoving, unblinking.
“Aw, X, my dearest Adversary, is conflict really all you know? Surely we can all put our differences aside for this special occasion, right?”
The smug expression on his mask shifted with hesitation when 1x let out a low, coarse growl.
“Don’t push it, voidling.”
They glared at him until he took a very wise step back.
“You may all choose peace and mercy and… ugh… friendship if you so desire,” 1x continued. “I, however, make no such promises.”
Shedletsky found himself craning his neck to meet their calculating gaze. They stood only a few paces away from him now, with no barrier between them to speak of. They sneered as they lifted a hand to their own throat and made a vicious slicing gesture across their neck.
“Especially for filthy vermin like you.”
Shedletsky audibly gulped. 1x’s sneer silently twisted into an awful smirk.
“Well, okay then,” Elliot spoke up with a slightly unhinged laugh. “I guess we’ve got room for the embodiment of hatred in here too, sure, why not? Why not! We’ve already got Noli and Slasher and the kids and– and the whole freakin’ Mafia here, what’s one more, huh?”
Chance carefully put a hand on the man’s shoulder.
“Elliot–”
They flinched when he whipped around to glare at them.
“What? What? Don’t start telling me to calm down or that this is fine because this is very much not fine!”
“Hey, man, just take it easy, alright?”
“No! I don’t wanna take it easy!”
The group of survivors stood a safe distance back as Elliot shoved Chance’s hand away and started pacing.
“Look, it wasn’t that bad when the Mafia showed up, okay? Scary at first, yeah, but it was fine! And the kids– well, plenty of us are good with kids, we can work with that. But 1x?! C’mon, you’ve gotta be kidding me! This has gotta be some kinda fucked-up prank or something because the Spectre fuckin’ hates us.”
1x rolled her eyes with a huff, but didn’t care enough to waste her breath on snapping at him.
Noob nervously chimed in, “Well, um, as long as he wo– he doesn’t plan on, uh… chainsaw-ing us to death or anything… I-I think Slasher’s probably alright, too.”
The silent killer shrugged and gave a thumbs-up. The young survivalist stood just a little taller.
“See? He’s totally fine!”
“Oouuhh, and what am I to you people? Chopped liver?” Noli pouted and leaned his whole body against Mafioso with a dramatic sigh. “Goodness me, nobody around here appreciates a good showman like they used to, let me tell you! In fact–!”
Dusekkar slowly shook his head and Builderman heaved a long-suffering sigh.
“Ah, hell, here we go…”
While Noli prattled on about something or other in the usual overdramatic fashion, Guest did a silent headcount and nudged Shedletsky’s side. Spooked by the sudden contact, the admin’s feathers ruffled up as he met the soldier’s intense gaze.
“I’ve got a bad feeling, Shed,” Guest muttered. “We’re missing someone here.”
Shedletsky looked around the room, though he very pointedly kept his gaze far away from 1x. His head wings folded tightly against his skull and a cold shiver ran down his spine.
“Yeah. Yeah, we are missing one.”
And just then, before he could answer the unspoken question hanging in the air between them, a raspy, glitching voice resonated throughout the entire cabin. The sudden voice interrupted Noli’s grand speech and sent a ripple of fear through all of the survivors’ rattled bones.
“… shhhuT… uP…”
A heavy silence fell over the group as all heads turned towards the front door.
There, in all of his corrupted glory, stood John Doe.
His imposing frame took up the entire doorway. The corrupt spike jutting from the right side of his body dragged just a bit behind him. The stray bits of ancient code that typically flaked off of him were noticeably absent. His ragged breaths sounded wet and laboured like the man was deathly sick.
There was something about his frozen expression that felt just a little more aware than he usually was in the rounds. A ghost of a frown tugging at the corners of his mouth, perhaps.
“Ah, great,” Chance finally broke the tense silence. They strained to keep their voice level. “Welp… I guess the gang’s all here now.”
Elliot could only stare at the corrupted man in horrified awe.
“Aaand John Doe is in our cabin now… cool.”
Noob suddenly blurted out, “John Doe can TALK?!”
The young survivalist slapped their hands over their mouth as John Doe’s head ever so slightly tilted towards them. They cowered behind Taph when the man’s half-vacant gaze landed on their terrified form.
“S-sorry…”
Two of Mafioso’s men leapt from their seats to help guide John Doe over to the couch. And as they did so, Shedletsky slipped past the growing gaggle of killers around the front entryway and speed-walked to the back of the room where the rest of the survivors had gathered. His expression was set into a grim, stoic front that almost fooled the others into believing he wasn’t scared absolutely shitless.
“Guys… family meeting. Now.”
He very urgently herded all of the survivors to the back of the dining room. Shedletsky extended his wings to provide a sort of protective barrier, a vague semblance of privacy away from the killers’ curious and prying gazes. Dusekkar stood by his side and diligently kept watch over the living room with his staff at the ready.
“Okay, so…” Chance hoisted up the cat and held the creature securely against their chest. “What’s the plan here, fellas? We’re not actually supposed to let these guys stay with us, right?”
Elliot shook his head vigorously.
“Yeah, no, fuck no. Fuck that. We are not letting them stay here, no fucking way!”
Guest held up a hand to hush the man.
“Hey, keep your voice down. We shouldn’t cause a scene. Not while they’ve got us cornered like this.”
Elliot huffed and reluctantly stood back. “Right… sorry, you’re right.”
“Besides,” the soldier continued, quieter than before, “I don’t think this is the kind of situation we can easily talk our way out of.”
“Y-you don’t think so?” Noob frowned.
“No. I don’t think so. I spotted some bags that aren’t ours sitting out there on the porch. Unfortunately, I think that means they’re here to stay.”
The young survivalist wrapped their arms around themself and let out a shaky sigh. Builderman lowered his head and softened his voice like he was comforting a small animal.
“Hey. Everything’s gonna be alright, y’hear?”
“Mm-hm…”
Noob’s eyes welled up with overwhelmed tears. Taph extended one of her wings around their back.
“We will figure this out,” she signed insistently. “Promise. Won’t let them hurt you.”
“I know… I-I know that, it’s just…”
Noob clenched their jaw, doing their best to hold themself together. Taph turned and held open her arms, bracing for impact. The young survivalist flew into her arms and buried their face into her shoulder, flinching slightly when the soft feathers from her head wings tickled their cheek.
“I… I w– I really don’t think I can do this, guys. I ju– I don’t– I– I can’t…”
Builderman glanced over at his fellow admins. Both of them looked equally guilty, and perhaps a little bit fearful of what was yet to come.
Guest’s expression was dark and unreadable. He was peering past Shedletsky’s wings with his jaw set in that way that made his already serious features seem that much more so.
Elliot’s hands were held up to his chest and he was breathing in a very deliberate, focused pattern. Just like Guest had taught him to do when he was feeling overwhelmed.
Chance was gently bouncing the cat up and down like he was soothing a baby, though it was more likely that he was soothing himself. Their dark-tinted glasses did little to hide the way their features settled into that same serious expression that Guest was more known for. Even that long-practiced smile of theirs wasn’t enough to disguise their unease.
The gambler stepped up to Noob and carefully lifted one of their hands away from Taph, only to gently set it on top of the cat’s flat head.
“Heeey, bud, lighten up a bit. Just do me a favor and pet the kitty for me, alright? Everything’s always better when you’re petting a kitty.”
Noob’s lip quivered dangerously fast even as they gave the cat gentle scritches between its pointed ears. The cat leaned into their touch rather awkwardly, leaving himself half-dangling over Chance’s arms.
Noob cracked a small smile. That was good. Better than tears.
The older admin stepped up next to Chance and laid a hand firmly on Noob’s shoulder.
“Hey, look at me, kiddo,” he said very gently, almost fatherly. He waited for Noob to lift their head to look at him before continuing.
“We’ll figure this out, just like everything else we’ve been through, m’kay? Everything’s gonna work out just fine, y’hear? We ain’t gonna let ‘em hurt ya. I’ll be damned if they even get close enough to lay a finger on you. Telamon help ‘em if they try anything funny.”
Noob took a deep breath. Finally, they gave a slow nod.
“Yeah… I know.” They sniffled quietly as they extracted themself from Taph’s protective arms. “I… I trust you guys. Thank you.”
“We’ve got your back, dude,” Elliot said with a firm nod.
“Yeah!” Chance enthusiastically agreed. “We’re all looking out for each other, always.”
“And if anyone tries anything–” Elliot reached into his pocket and very suddenly brandished a switchblade. “I am not afraid to cut a bitch.”
Chance let out a loud wheeze that startled the cat. He had to drop it so it didn’t try and claw his eyes out.
“Where did you even find that?!”
The pizza boy shrugged and pocketed the blade.
“Hey, I may not be a sentinel, but I’m not about to just let you guys have all the fun.”
“That is… mildly concerning,” Guest warily eyed the man’s pocket. “But I suppose there’s no harm in having something for self-defense. Especially now.”
Shedletsky cleared his throat, drawing everyone’s attention. His laid-back attitude was long gone, and his curly hair cast an ominous shadow over his eyes.
“Frankly, I think this whole thing is really messed up,” he began.
Builderman scoffed. “Y’don’t say?”
“But…” the winged admin narrowed his eyes at each and every one of the survivors standing before him. “We can’t exactly make the Spectre take them all back to their camp. And even now, we’re still outnumbered. Ten against twelve. Any sort of altercation doesn’t end well for us, I can say that for sure.”
“Especially since most of us don’t even have our abilities outside the rounds,” Elliot added.
“Right. Which means–”
“We’re fucked.”
“No. We are not fucked. We just have to be really, really careful from now on. And as much as I hate to say it, I think it’d be a really stupid idea for us to try and fight any of them. Even if they strike first.”
“B-but Mr. Mafioso called a truce, though!” Noob exclaimed. “They wouldn’t–”
“Yeah, but 1x didn’t. That’s what I’m worried about. I’d rather not have to get between any of you if you end up pissing her off, and…”
Shedletsky’s intense expression faltered.
“And I don’t want any of you getting hurt because of my mistake.”
“Any sort of violence is wholly unnecessary,” Dusekkar spoke up at last, his tone grave and much more serious than usual. “And no matter the cost, we should avoid such adversity.”
“So…” Builderman rested his hands on his hips. “I reckon we’ll just have to live with ‘em until we can figure out what in Telamon’s name is goin’ on here.”
Shedletsky took a deep breath. “Alright. So, we’re all in agreement, then?”
“We’re all in agreement,” Builderman echoed.
Shedletsky shifted his gaze to the third admin in their little trio.
“Matt?”
Dusekkar nodded once and tapped his staff against the floor twice.
“There will be no violence, no fighting, or antagonization. We must proceed with great care and cautious cooperation. If trouble arises, consequences will be met with communal judgement. For this odd situation, are we all in agreement?”
Slowly, each and every one of the survivors nodded in reluctant agreement. It wasn’t as if they had another choice in the matter anyhow. It was one of the only constants in this place.
What the Spectre bestows is not to be argued with.
Dusekkar nodded one final time.
“And so it shall be. This meeting is adjourned.”
The survivors settled into a tense silence as Shedletsky lowered his wings. All eyes returned to the unusual scene that had become of their shared living space. It was a surreal – if not outright terrifying – sight that none of them could quite believe, even as it unfolded before their very eyes.
John Doe was on their couch looking entirely dissociated from reality, and the cat was sniffing his leg suspiciously. 1x was guarding the front door with one terrifyingly glowing eye focused solely on Shedletsky. Mafioso and his men were all huddled together in hushed conversation. Slasher was boredly leaning against the banister of their staircase. And Noli–
“Ouuhhh, I’m so bored! I can’t stand it, I simply can’t stand it!”
He spun around to face 1x with a despondent frown.
“Oh, I've changed my mind. Can't we just get rid of them already and take over this place for ourselves? Pleeease? It would truly be sooooo much easier than waiting for them to stop yapping, wouldn’t it?”
Shedletsky’s eyes widened as a devious grin danced across 1x’s face.
“For once I must agree with you, voidling. Perhaps that is not such a terrible idea after all.”
Shedletsky's hand flew to the hilt of his blade.
“Don't even think about it, 1x.”
Slasher plopped himself down on the stairs with an irritated sigh like this exact scenario had happened a million times before. The little mafia family sat still and unsure in their seats. Mafioso himself simply shook his head and stood next to the couch where John Doe was seated, both of them safely out of the way if the other two killers decided to actually start something.
The trio of admins put themselves between the killers and the rest of the terrified survivors.
“Don’t do somethin’ stupid, now,” Builderman warned. “You know damn well this ain't y'all's place to keep.”
1x let out a long, hearty cackle that chilled each and every person within the cabin to their cores.
“You know as well as I that your pitiful crew stands no chance against us.”
Noli casually spun his void star on the tip of one finger. His voice suddenly dropped into a bassy register that rumbled in their chests.
“X, darling, let’s get rid of them once and for all, shall we?”
1x laughed again, low and ominous like an echo of distant thunder.
“Gladly.”
Shedletsky couldn’t suppress the shudder that ran down his spine the moment 1x summoned her swords. She readied herself in a fighting stance and he instinctively did the same. The subtle tremble of terror in his hands was not lost on her. She could sense the quickening tempo of his heart racing faster and faster in his chest as the threat of violence reached its peak.
Chance’s hands tightened around his flintlock. Guest stood protectively in front of Noob. Taph armed a subspace tripmine and lobbed it towards the admins’ feet, then covered their face with their arms and held up both of their middle fingers in defiance.
But then, before anyone could land the first blow, everyone was struck with a sudden chill down their spines. Their muscles seized up, immobilized by forces beyond their comprehension. All of the air had been sucked out of the cabin in one fell swoop.
Nobody could move. Nobody could breathe.
And then, like a surge of lightning had infiltrated their minds, a scrawling message painfully etched itself into their skulls. An unmistakable sign from their shared captor had seared into their retinas in blinding white letters that they were forced to behold regardless of their eyes being open or not.
N O F I G H T I N G .
“Aww, that's no fun!” Noli pouted. “Can't we have just a little bit of violence? As a treat?”
Noli doubled over in agony as he was struck with a second jolt of pain in the back of his eye sockets, and the radiant words only glowed brighter in his mind, bright enough that they turned blood-red around the edges. It felt like he was being lobotomized with a hot iron. He held his head and screamed through gritted teeth.
“OW! Fine! Okay! I get it! Enough with the theatrics!”
And just then, something struck Noob in the back so hard that they hit the floor and just about got the wind knocked out of them. They let out the most pathetic squeak as something very heavy pinned them to the ground. Their hands scrabbled at the floor as they fought to push themself up.
“G-get it off, get it off–”
“Oh, shoot. Sorry, Noob!” A familiar voice grunted.
Noli let out an ear-grating laugh that made everyone’s headaches worse.
“And he sticks the landing!”
“Nice one, Seven.” Elliot grumbled.
The weight was lifted, but Noob didn't move. It took a second for them to take a full breath.
“… ow…”
“Hold on, kid. I gotcha.”
Chance picked up Noob beneath their shoulders and hauled them to their feet, brushing them off like nothing had ever happened.
“See? Good as new!”
Noob spun around to look at 007n7, who swiftly dismissed his GUI panel with a nervous chuckle.
“Sorry, kiddo. I just finished setting up a spot for the kids to stay for the, uh… for the foreseeable future, I guess.”
Shedletsky narrowed his dark eyes at the man. “Where could you possibly have set up a kids’ room in this place?”
“Well… the cellar is pretty secluded, right? And it’s relatively safe, I think… and mostly soundproof, so they can be as rowdy as they want.”
The admin’s feathers ruffled up all at once.
“Woah, woah, woah– hold on–”
Elliot grabbed the older man’s shoulders and shook him. “You left them in the cellar?!”
“Ah– w-wait, it’s okay! I childproofed it as best I could!” 007n7 staunchly defended himself. “I didn’t exactly have a lot of time to prepare! I put up firewalls and barriers where I could but– I-I mean, there’s not a lot I could do on such short notice.”
Builderman grabbed the back of Elliot’s shirt and pulled him back.
“That’s enough now, son. Now ain’t the time for fightin’.”
Elliot buried his face in his hands with a heavy sigh.
“Yeah… okay. Yeah. You’re right.”
He looked up at 007n7 with a rare hint of remorse behind his eyes.
“Sorry, man.”
“No, no, it’s fine. I understand why you’re upset.”
The older man paused for a moment. His tail flicked softly, and he looked around in mild confusion.
“Um, by the way, I have no sweet clue what happened after I left. What was that weird text that showed up in my head just now–?”
Shedletsky held up a hand to silence the man. “Don’t… worry about it, my guy. It's… kind of a long story.”
“Oh. Um. Okay then… that’s kind of the whole reason I teleported back here in the first place though–”
“Ouhh, you mean you didn’t come back here just for me? Aw, Seven, I’m heartbroken!”
007n7 clenched his fists, but did not speak. He didn't have the energy to entertain the mischievous deity’s dragged-out dramatics. Neither did the other killers, from the looks of things.
“Aw, what's the matter, lovebug? You already sick of me?”
The exploiter, although struck with an awful shiver down his spine, ignored the sickening nickname and looked the godlike being directly in the eyes for the first time since arriving.
“Yes, actually. I am rather sick of you. A-and I'd appreciate it if you could just… stay away from me and my son.”
Noli didn't like that answer one bit.
“Preposterous! Just when I thought I'd heard it all, you just have to go and make everything so much more difficult. Perhaps I shouldn't be so surprised. You really haven’t changed a bit, have you, dear?”
007n7’s fists clenched even tighter by his sides.
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“I figured giving you some space to sort out your feelings would help us in the long run,” Noli spat, his voice practically dripping with contempt. “And yet, after all this time raising your son, you won't even give me the time of day?”
“Why should I–”
“Well, well, well! It's no wonder the little goblin comes to me for comfort when you run off and abandon him during your rounds together. You’ve been treating him exactly as you treated me all those years ago. Your own son! For shame!”
“I–”
007n7 couldn't argue with that. He hated that he couldn't argue with that.
“… It's not like that.”
“Oh, really? Is that what you still choose to believe?”
Chance saw the older man's confidence deflate in real time. It didn't sit right with them. After everything he'd been through, the man didn't deserve to be harassed in the one place he was supposed to feel safe. And Chance themself knew that very feeling all too well.
The gambler smirked. He had a really funny idea, though there was really no way to know if it would even work.
Couldn't hurt to try, right?
“Hey, Noli, tone it down, man. You’ve been here for, what, ten minutes? And you're already causing trouble.”
The deity laughed far too loudly. It sounded like his grating voice was everywhere at once. His laugh echoed throughout every room in the cabin, pierced their ears, their minds.
“What kind of trickster god isn't causing chaos and mayhem wherever they see fit? And why should I stop just because you say so, hm?”
“Because that's really mean of you,” Chance said in a mock hurt tone, frowning with one hand held over their heart. “I can't believe you. How could you do such a thing to our dear friend?”
Noli cackled and took a single intimidating step.
“Oh, gambler, I doubt you'd call him that if you knew what he was really like.”
007n7 flinched. Chance ignored his taunts and took a challenging step towards Noli. They pointed at the deity and raised their voice to a powerful shout.
“Spectre, give that man period cramps!”
The masked deity blankly stared at him. Everything went dead silent, yet nothing was happening.
“What. Was that supposed to do something or are you just trying to distract m–”
A sudden stabbing pain instantly knocked the wind out of him. He inhaled sharply, knees buckling as another terrible jolt of pain ripped through his lower back all the way down his legs. It felt like one of 1x’s swords had been violently driven into his gut and twisted repeatedly.
He doubled over clutching his lower abdomen and hit the ground like a sack of bricks, groaning and writhing in agony. The other killers backed away from the afflicted man as though the spectral pains were contagious.
It took Noli several moments to catch his breath enough to speak. Or rather – enough to scream.
“OWWW! What the FUCK! You can do that?? Why can you do that?!”
Chance stood back and held up their hands in surrender.
“Hey now, I didn't actually think that would work!”
“Fuck you! This fucking sucks!”
Mafioso pursed his lips to suppress a smile. Slasher facepalmed. John Doe wasn't even paying attention to Noli's suffering, instead focusing very intently on the small, purring creature happily kneading his leg.
1x snorted, then let out a hearty laugh.
“Look at you, writhing on the filthy ground like a worm,” she spat. “You disgust me, godling.”
Noli shot them a nasty look.
“Hey, fuck you too! This shit hurts!”
“Now you see what I had to deal with every month,” 007n7 muttered, glaring down at the fallen deity with clear disdain.
“Hell yeah!” Chance cheered, “Get his ass, Seven!”
007n7 stood up a little taller.
“It sucks, doesn't it, Noli?”
Noli gritted his teeth and tried to push himself up off of the ground, but was hit with another nauseating wave of red-hot agony. He hit the ground and helplessly curled up like a shrimp.
“This is… not fair…” he croaked, “I don't even have organs..!”
1x shifted their judgemental gaze to 007n7.
“You dated this man?” Their tone was flat and uncaring, yet morbidly curious.
He jumped a bit, not expecting to be addressed by the being of hate, then grimaced at the awful thought they'd just put into his head.
“Oh, goodness, no. Not… him, per se… but we did live together for a bit before… all of this.”
They hummed in mild amusement.
“My condolences.”
He wasn't sure if they were being sarcastic or not.
They were reminded of Noli’s presence when he groaned in pain at their feet. 1x cracked another sharp-toothed smile at her teammate's expense.
“Aww, the Almighty Noli can't handle a little tummyache?” They mocked the man with a cruel grin. “Tch. Pathetic.”
And just as suddenly, 1x felt an odd twinge in her lower half. It stung. And then it burned. The discomfort only grew in intensity until it felt like she was being ripped in half from within.
It wasn't too much worse than the pain she regularly inflicted on herself when reviving the dead, but it definitely wasn't comfortable.
But then, it was much worse. It was suddenly like a bear trap had clamped down on their waist with the strength of a hydraulic press. A particularly strong surge of pain in their back just about knocked the wind out of them. They were brought to one knee, clutching their aching body with both arms.
“Shit,” they hissed through their teeth. “I… suppose this was inevitable…”
Noli looked up at his fallen teammate with a dry laugh.
“Heeey 1x, welcome to the club! How's it feel, darling? Unbearable? Agonizing?”
Another sharp, stabbing pain tore through their midsection, shooting up their back and down their legs. They visibly flinched, which instinctively made Noli flinch.
“… Humbling.”
Dusekkar and Builderman both noticed that Shedletsky was shaking. A quick glance at the man's face revealed watery eyes and a barely-restrained smile that was pursed so tightly his lips had all but disappeared. He was trying so hard not to laugh that he was visibly struggling to hold back his laughter at their misery.
This absolute clown.
The other admins made knowing eye contact with equally grim expressions. At this point they knew it would only take one little push to break their companion’s wafer-thin composure.
“Hey, wait a sec,” Chance turned to Shedletsky with a devilish grin. “You were really mean to me earlier. Spectre, can you get him too?”
Shedletsky's demeanor immediately flipped from humorous to horrified.
“Hey, wait– wait! No! I didn't mean it! Chance, buddy, I didn't– it was just a joke! Can’t a guy make a joke around here?”
Chance dramatically pointed at him.
“Curse of period cramps be upon ye– aaAAAAGHH!”
Before he could even finish his sentence Chance had been crippled by an unbearable surge of pain that felt like his pelvis had cracked in half. He instantly dropped to his knees and wrapped his arms so tightly around his waist that they trembled from the force. He let out a strained grunt, but he couldn't find the strength to speak. Or breathe, for that matter. Every breath he tried to take was like a broadsword had been twisted into his gut.
The rest of the survivors watched on in horror. 1x chuckled darkly at the poor guy's misery.
“How fitting. Your hubris continues to be your greatest weakness, gambler…”
“At least I'm no… chicken bitch…” Chance grumbled, then whined pathetically and curled up into a ball.
That was the straw that broke the camel's back. Shedletsky let out the ugliest snorting wheeze. He doubled over cackling as his teammate and the two killers lay suffering on the floor.
And that was the Spectre's final straw. Shedletsky’s laughter was interrupted by a cry of pain as he was also struck down by the dreaded curse. Not only did it feel like his pelvis had been shattered into dozens of sharp little pieces that jabbed him in all the wrong places, but there was also an immense pressure that almost felt like he was laying an egg.
He couldn't quite work up the strength to move. At all. He sort of looked like he'd just dropped dead on the floor.
1x let out a genuine laugh of vindication at seeing her creator in such distress. It only made their own pains that much more severe, but it was so worth it.
Guest facepalmed.
“Shedletsky… you're an idiot,” he hissed.
Taph let out a long, pensive sigh and shook their head in disbelief.
“Men.”
Slasher was evidently the only one who caught the demolitionist’s exasperated hand gestures. He covered his mouth with a breathy laugh and hoped the Spectre didn’t catch his slip-up.
Noob took a stumbling step towards the kitchen.
“I'm… just gonna m-make some bot– hot bot– ugh. Hot… water… bottles.”
“I’m coming with you.” Guest followed them into the already cramped kitchen. “Someone should go upstairs and grab some painkillers as well.”
Noli barely lifted his head off of the floor.
“Oooh, can I have some too? Spectral tummy pain is just no fun at all!”
Guest and Noob both paused to exchange a look of uncertainty. The soldier spared a slightly puzzled glance at the fallen deity.
“I… suppose we can bring you some too, Noli.”
“Oh, you're much too kind!”
But then Noli made the mistake of looking towards his fellow cramping killer.
“Do you want some too, 1x?”
1x sat up a little taller with a glimmer of malice in their eye.
“Hah! As if I'd stoop so low as to accept these so-called… ‘pain killers’ from you people. I am the pain killer. I will make this pathetic sensation regret the day it ever set foot into this wretched, dimensionless body.”
Slowly, as if she was moving through molasses, 1x pushed herself to her feet. The fact that she didn't even flinch even though her entire lower half felt like it was being ripped apart from the inside was nothing short of intimidating. She folded her arms over her chest and glared down at Noli, who was kind of scared shitless at how easy she'd made it look.
“B-but 1x, this really sucks!”
“I am not stopping you from accepting these mortals’ medicinal bribery.”
“But you're judging me!”
“And I will continue to do so.”
Noli pouted and curled in on himself even more.
“No fair… why can't I be all cool and stoic like you…”
“Have you considered the fact that you're simply a little bitch, Noli?”
“HEY!! Rude!”
“Get his ass, 1x!” Chance spoke up with a pained smile.
1x swiveled around to glare at his shriveled-up form dying on the floor.
“You shut up, gambler. You are hardly any better than he is.”
“Ah… yeah, that’s fair…”
There was a rapid rush of footsteps storming up the porch, and all eyes turned to watch the front door violently swing open. A small, frail figure draped in a fuzzy blanket burst through the door with a joyous grin.
“My friends, I have experienced the most remarkable recovery! I–”
Two Time practically skipped through the wide-open cabin door only to stop short when they finally processed the absolute chaos that was unfolding all around them. Their tail stuck straight up in the air like that of a startled cat.
“Ooouhh, hello, little cultist!” Noli said in an eager singsong voice and waved at them from his pathetic fetal position on the floor. “You’re just in time for the show, darling!”
“Um–??”
A ghost of a grimace pinched Two Time’s features. They took a wary step backwards. Their eyes darted all over the room, landing on each of the new faces that hadn’t been in the cabin earlier that day.
Mafioso gave them a small nod of acknowledgement. His goons followed suit and nodded politely as well. Slasher waved rather boredly from his perch on the stairs. 1x merely scowled back at them in disdain.
Two Time clutched at their blanket, totally befuddled and thoroughly chilled to their core.
“… Ah. It seems I am not feeling so well after all.”
Two Time stared down at the three figures curled up on the ground all across the cabin floor.
“It appears that you are not well either, friends… and Noli.”
“P-please don’t ask…” Shedletsky croaked. It sounded like he was on the verge of tears.
Chance halfway sat up with a strained smile.
“Yeah, don’t worry, Times! It’s– hnnghh..!”
He was sent straight back down to the ground again with another fierce ripple of pain.
“Guh– ugh– ow… it’s– kind of a long story…”
“I see…”
The mafialing with the biker hat piped up a little too eagerly, “They were being idiots so the Spectre gave them period cramps! A real riot, that was! You shoulda seen their faces when they– AAAAAH!”
The young man tumbled out of his seat and landed on the floor in a suffering heap.
“Hey, yeah, exactly like that!” The goon with the white hat said with a laugh. “Nice demonstration, Tee!”
“Ghh– yeah… don’t mention it..!”
Two Time’s frown deepened. They pulled their blanket further around their shoulders and stepped back out into the frigid night.
“Perhaps I should have stayed in bed after all.”