Archive of Our Own ^beta

“Dude, this is an actual emergency.”

Jaemin just looks at Mark, unimpressed.

Karina, sprawled across Jaemin like a lazy cat, lets out a small laugh. She pushes the bowl of popcorn onto the coffee table and mercifully pauses the TV.

They’re watching The Silent Sea, and the screen freezes on Gong Yoo’s face. It’s the scene where they’re trying to trap Luna. Mark knows because he’s already watched the show twice with Jaemin. The last time, they were sitting on the floor, a family-sized bag of Doritos between them, half-watching the episodes and wiping their cheesy fingers on each other for laughs.

“Mark.” It’s Karina who speaks first. She’s wearing one of Jaemin’s hoodies, the one he sometimes wears to class during winter, and the collar’s all stretched out, falling off her shoulder, the fabric frayed, like it’s been worn a lot. Mark’s worn that hoodie so many times he knows exactly how comfortable it is.

“What happened?”

“I went on a date,” Mark starts, anxious, and he realizes he’s been rubbing his damp hands on the expensive jeans he only wears when he’s trying to impress a girl. He makes himself stop. “You guys remember, right? I mentioned her before, that really hot girl from work…”

“Youngji, right?”

Mark’s honestly impressed Jaemin remembered her name, considering it took him weeks to learn Karina’s name.

“Uh, yeah. That’s her.”

“So how was the date?” Jaemin asks, sounding genuinely interested.

“It was actually really good,” Mark says. It really was. Probably one of the best dates he’s had in a while. “She’s super fun. I was kinda thrown off at first ‘cause she’s super outgoing. Like, she knows what she wants, you know?”

“Cool.” Karina smiles at him. Karina’s, like, the only other serious girlfriend Jaemin’s had in forever. “So what’s the problem?”

Mark goes still, glancing between them on the couch, unsure how to explain what happened next.

Because honestly? It’s kind of humiliating.

He shuts his mouth, curling in on himself as Jaemin shifts on the couch. He’s wearing an old t-shirt that used to belong to Mark, one he borrowed sometime last year and never gave back, the one from that 6-mile run Mark did with the church group two years ago.

Karina glances at him, more intrigued now, noticing his hesitation.

“I think I’m bad at sex,” Mark blurts out after a few more seconds of tense silence.

Jaemin blinks. Karina’s mouth twitches, like she’s stifling a laugh, which somehow makes it worse, and Mark sinks deeper into the armchair.

“You’re gonna have to explain that, dude.” Jaemin chuckles. “What do you mean?”

“I think I’m bad at sex,” he repeats. “Like, I didn’t think I was gonna have sex with Youngji tonight, okay? It was our first date. Most girls don’t sleep with someone on the first date.” He glances at Karina and stammers, “I mean, not that there’s anything wrong with that, like, girls can totally do whatever they want, that’s awesome, and it’s great, it’s totally fine to sleep with someone on the first date, I respect that—”

“Mark, honey, get to the point,” Karina mutters.

“So, she lives alone and invited me over, and I said yes. Because, duh, she’s really hot. Did I already say that? Anyway, we had sex.”

“Nice,” Jaemin murmurs.

“But…” Mark exhales sharply. He can still taste Youngji on his lips, on his fingers, still smell that distinct feminine scent on his skin. There’s nothing else like it. “She didn’t come.”

“Oh.” Karina finally gets it. Up until now, she’s been leaning toward him, but now she leans back against the couch and pulls her legs up to her chest. “Yikes. Okay.”

“That sucks,” Jaemin says sympathetically.

Mark looks at the two of them. They look good together. When Jaemin was younger, he spent two years as a trainee at an entertainment company before giving up, but Mark can still see the idol in him in all these everyday little things. Karina’s just as gorgeous, though she’s not really Jaemin’s usual type.

“I know, right? Total disaster.” Mark keeps thinking about the way he left Youngji’s place, how she kissed him goodbye, nothing like the heat they’d started the night with. She looked almost sad as the elevator doors closed. “God. What a mess. What a mess.”

“Mark.” Karina gets up from the couch. She climbs onto the armrest of his chair and places a hand on his shoulder. Her hand is small and her nails are short. “That sucks, yeah. But trust me, you’re definitely not the first guy that’s happened to.”

She’s wearing neon green workout shorts under Jaemin’s hoodie, her usual workout clothes, and Mark suddenly worries she can still smell sex on him and leans away slightly, already humiliated enough for one night.

“There are a lot of bad lovers out there, I know,” he mutters. “Girls literally joke about it all the time.” Then suddenly he freezes, heart skipping a beat. “Fuck, what if she tells everyone at the office?”

“You said she was cool,” Jaemin points out. Now that Karina’s off him, he stretches his legs the way guys do when they’re making room for their balls. “She’s not gonna say anything. Chill.”

“What if she’s actually really upset?” Mark whines, and Karina squeezes his shoulder in solidarity. “What if I have to quit my job and, like, move to the other side of the city?”

“You love your job,” Jaemin laughs, brushing his bangs back. “Come on, dude. It couldn’t have been that bad. You’ve slept with other girls before.”

“I have,” Mark swallows and thinks back. He thinks about how he almost never hooks up with the same girl twice. He thinks about how they ghost him, or just lose interest quickly. “Thinking about it now, all the signs were there. Almost none of them ever wanted to see me again. It actually makes so much sense now.”

“Yikes.” Karina glances at Jaemin like she’s asking for backup. She doesn’t even have to deal with Mark’s emotional crisis, but she’s still being supportive, and that makes Mark feel a little guilty about every time he was annoyed at Jaemin for ditching him to hang out with her.

“Well…” Jaemin hesitates. “Do you, like, watch porn and stuff?”

“Jaem!” Karina jumps in before Mark can answer (of course he does, duh). “Porn’s basically useless. It’s just made for guys, most of the time. Mark, you’re not gonna learn anything good from that.”

Which sucks, because porn is basically all he’s ever had to go on. He never had a girlfriend to figure things out with when he was younger, so he’s… inexperienced. And it’s hard to try new things with girls he barely knows.

“I do want to make girls feel good,” Mark says eventually, suddenly sounding tired. “I’m not selfish in bed, I swear. I like it when they like it, y’know? But it just hasn’t been happening lately, and I don’t even know what I’m doing wrong? Dude, this sucks so much.”

Jaemin must realize how miserable he is, because his teasing expression softens. Until now, he’s been treating this like a joke, but Mark’s serious. This is actually kind of a real crisis.

“Mark,” Jaemin says, glancing at Karina, then back at him. “Sex isn’t the be-all and end-all, you know? If women are dumping you just because you didn’t blow their minds in bed, that’s kinda shitty.”

“I disagree,” Karina cuts in. “Sex is important in a relationship. If you’re not compatible in bed, it sucks.”

“See?” Mark shoots Jaemin a look. “She’s right. I mean… Haven’t you ever felt that way? Like… insecure in bed?”

Jaemin looks a little surprised at the question, like he wasn’t expecting it to come back to him.

“Of course, man. Especially in the beginning. That’s totally normal.”

“But…” Mark rubs his hands on his jeans again. “Are you good at it? Do girls usually come when you're with them?”

Jaemin stares at Mark for a beat, and his lips part slightly, his brow furrowed, like he’s genuinely confused.

“Yes,” Karina answers for him. “He’s honestly the best I’ve ever had.”  

Mark stares at her with wide eyes. Then he looks at Jaemin, stunned.  Karina still has her hand on his shoulder, pressing gently, like she’s trying to calm him down.

“Wow.” Mark leans into her a little, suddenly craving her warmth, not caring that he probably smells. He wants to steal Jaemin’s hoodie off her, peel off his wrinkled clothes that still smell like sex, and sink into something soft and comforting. “That’s it, then. I’m done with sex. Forever.”

Jaemin leans forward from the couch and rests a hand gently on Mark’s leg. His jeans are ripped, so Jaemin’s fingertips graze the bare skin of Mark’s bony knee. After Donghyuck, Jaemin’s easily the most physically affectionate friend Mark has, and he’s grateful for that because he always seems to know when Mark needs a touch, even when Mark can’t admit it.

“Don’t overthink it. You just need more practice.”

“I’m tired of embarrassing myself in front of women, y’know?” Mark mutters. “Tonight made me feel like trash. And… I’m sorry for barging in like this, man. I didn’t know Karina was coming over. Didn’t mean to kill the mood.”

“We were just heading to the gym, but you gave us a good excuse to skip,” Karina says, running her fingers through Mark’s hair like he’s a puppy. “Do you want me to leave?”

“No,” Mark says immediately. “Of course not. I should be the one to go.”

“No way, dude.” Jaemin gives him a short, familiar smile. He always looks like he has too many teeth in his mouth. “Stay. I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to be alone tonight.”

“I just wanted to be good at it,” Mark complains again. “Didn’t think the night would end like this.”

He reaches for the bowl of popcorn that was left on the table. Jaemin always makes the best popcorn, not the store-bought kind, real kernels popped in oil on the stove, and it melts in your mouth. 

The popcorn is a little cold now, but it’s still better than anything Mark could make himself. He keeps chewing, jaw working slowly, trying to ground himself.

“Hey,” Karina says suddenly, like she’s just had a brilliant idea. “What if we actually helped you?”

Mark glances at her, confused, popcorn still in his mouth.

“Huh?”

“What if you watched us… having sex?”

Mark chokes a little. He doesn’t quite cough, but his throat clicks, and his jaw freezes mid-chew.

Jaemin turns toward her, eyebrows raised, blinking like he’s not sure he heard her right. Then he turns to Mark, like he’s checking how he’s reacting before deciding how he feels.

“What?” they both say at the same time.

Mark finally swallows, throat dry. He stares at Karina like she’s grown a second head, then at Jaemin, whose hand is still on his leg. Neither of them moves for a beat. The air in the room shifts slightly, just enough for Mark to suddenly become hyper-aware of his own body — the popcorn bowl in his lap, the heat of Jaemin’s hand against his skin, his hoodie on Karina’s body.

Karina flips her hair over her shoulder like she’s not fazed by their reaction at all. The collar of Jaemin’s hoodie still has a faint stain from when Mark bled on it after a rough wrestling match between the two of them on the floor, back when they were messing around.

“I meant it when I said Jaemin’s really good in bed,” she goes on, like she’s pointing out something totally obvious. “He actually focuses on his partner’s pleasure. Like, he knows how to give real orgasms.”

“Karina,” Jaemin cuts in before she can say more. They never use pet names around Mark or their other friends (like baby, honey, or any of the other nicknames couples use these days), and his tone is sharper than usual. “I don’t think that’s the solution.”

Karina blinks at him, her expression softening into mild confusion for a few seconds. She genuinely looks puzzled, like inviting one of Jaemin’s friends to watch them have sex is the most reasonable suggestion in the world.

“Why not? It could help. You could give him some actual tips.”

Mark goes still, his brain short-circuiting for a second, because he can’t think of anything worse than sitting stiff and awkward in the corner, intruding on his best friend’s sex life like some kind of desperate voyeur. The idea makes his skin crawl.

At best, he’d feel pathetic and dumb. At worst, exposed, like they’d see right through him, see how badly he wants things he doesn’t know how to ask for.

“It’s fine,” he forces a laugh, but it comes out tight and strained. “I think I just needed to vent. I’m fine now. I should probably head out.”

He sets the popcorn down with more force than he means to, the bowl clinking loudly against the coffee table. He moves to stand, but Jaemin is faster. He stands too, and places both hands on Mark’s shoulders, gently but firmly pushing him back into the armchair.

“Chill, man. Just stay there.”

Jaemin’s voice is calm, but there’s something underneath it. Concern, maybe, or frustration. His eyes flick toward Karina, then back to Mark. There’s a silent exchange Mark can’t decode.

Jaemin turns to Karina and nods toward the bedroom.

“Can we talk for a sec? Alone?”

Karina studies them for a beat, lips pursed like she’s holding back a comment.

“Sure,” she says at last, stretching as she stands like she’s got all the time in the world.

Karina follows him, and the two of them head into the bedroom. The door clicks shut softly behind them, and Mark picks up the popcorn bowl again.

God, what a weird night.

Whatever they talk about, when Jaemin comes back, he looks relaxed. He flops back onto the couch, legs spread comfortably.

A few minutes later, Karina walks back out, fully dressed. Mark notices Jaemin’s hoodie tossed across the bed and his fingers itch to grab it.

“I’m heading out, Mark,” she says, checking herself in the mirror by the dining table, smoothing a few stray hairs. “Think about what I said. It might actually be good for you.”

Too tired to argue, Mark just nods and watches her kiss Jaemin before heading to the door and out.

“Sorry I ruined your night,” he mutters again, eyes locked on the half-eaten popcorn and the paused shot of Gong Yoo’s tense face in The Silent Sea. “Mine sucked enough for both of us.”

“You’re my friend,” Jaemin replies like that’s all the explanation needed. “Mark, is this really bothering you? The sex stuff.”

Mark considers lying. But Jaemin’s in full friend mode now, brows drawn, his voice serious. He jokes a lot, but he’s the best friend Mark’s got. 

So Mark tells the truth. Not all of it, maybe, but enough.

“Yeah, man. It sucks. I feel like I can’t even have a relationship because of it. And I just… God, I feel fucking alone.”

Especially now that you’re with Karina, he thinks, but doesn’t say.

“What Karina said makes sense,” Jaemin says, bringing the conversation back. “You could try stuff out, like, in a safe environment.” Definitely Karina’s words. “I could show you a few things. She’s totally down with it.”

“But, dude…” Mark is desperate enough to almost consider it. “Seriously? I'd be sitting there watching you have sex. Like... have you thought that through?”

“Well, yeah.” Jaemin gives a small smile. “It's not the worst thing in the world if it helps a friend. We never have to speak of it again.”

Mark's first instinct is to say hell no, because seriously, what the fuck? Like, thanks man, but that would be insanely weird. Half our friends and family already think we’re secretly dating just because of the way we act around each other.

But then he looks at Jaemin sitting there on the couch, knees spread, wearing that old T-shirt that used to be his, and he feels a rush of trust, affection, and something else he doesn’t want to name. Suddenly, it doesn't seem like such a bad idea.

“What’s the worst that could happen?” Mark laughs, a little hysterically. “Fuck it. Let’s do it.”

They don’t talk about it again, not even when Mark is curled up in Jaemin’s hoodie, the one with the bloodstained collar, watching another episode of The Silent Sea, with a fresh bowl of popcorn between them, like nothing’s changed.

Karina is, in Jaemin’s romantic history, a bit of an outlier.

Jaemin has never had many girlfriends. Mark’s known him since they were kids, and he’s only seen him in two serious relationships, neither of which ever seemed to excite Jaemin all that much. They always felt more like something that just... sort of happened to him.

His first relationship started when he was eighteen, back when he had almost no real experience with dating. It was easygoing, one of those relationships that feel more like a comfortable arrangement than something driven by real passion. 

They met in their last year of high school, started going out after a few weeks of texting, and everything fell into place. They went to college together, but over time the connection just faded, slowly and quietly, without any real fights or obvious heartbreak.

By the time they finally decided to break up in their sophomore year, it felt more like choosing a lunch spot on a Sunday afternoon.

She still texts him on special occasions like birthdays, Christmas, sometimes even Valentine’s Day, but always with a light tone, like they were old friends. Jaemin answers with the same distant warmth that feels so uniquely his.

That’s just the kind of person Jaemin is.

Karina is… delicate. Ethereal-looking, all sharp angles and very pale skin, with those visible ribs that remind Mark of fashion magazine covers Jaemin never used to care about. He’s always seemed more drawn to bold women. The kind who take up space, who are maybe a little intimidating.

Karina’s not like that. She smiles, but never in a way that feels fully unguarded, like she’s holding something back. She speaks softly. She likes to make herself seem small. She’s the opposite of everything Mark’s gotten used to seeing at Jaemin’s side. Maybe that’s why she unsettles him so much.

Physically, they look good together. They look picture-perfect, like some healthy, attractive young couple in a lifestyle ad. But Mark can’t shake the feeling that something’s missing between them, because he knows Jaemin well enough to realize that he never seems truly excited around her. It’s strange, because Karina is fun and beautiful, and she isn’t shallow like some of the girls Mark has met.

Maybe that’s why it still feels strange when he walks into Jaemin’s apartment that Friday night and sees them sitting side by side on the couch like it’s any normal night. Like they’re not about to hook up with someone else watching. Like this isn’t weird at all.

“You look nervous,” Jaemin says as he closes the door.

Mark drops his backpack onto a dining chair. He’s showered, even washed his hair, but still feels gross and awkward in the sweatpants and T-shirt he threw on, carefully chosen to look casual, like this is just a regular hangout. 

Putting on something nicer would have felt too deliberate, like he was trying to make an impression. It’s not like he had to catch a bus or call an Uber, since they live in the same neighborhood. More than once, Mark has gone to the bakery near Jaemin’s place in his pajamas.

“I feel weird, man,” Mark mutters, walking the few steps over to the couch. “Thanks again for… you know. Letting me come by. For this.”

Karina smiles at him.

“I was glad you said yes. It’s nice to help a friend.”

Mark wouldn’t exactly call Karina a friend. They’ve never hung out one-on-one, barely even talked, but he doesn’t argue because he doesn’t want to make things more awkward than they already are.

Nervously, he tries to wipe his sweaty hands on his sweatpants and glances at Jaemin, who’s leaning against the hallway wall.

“You can still back out,” Jaemin offers. “Seriously. We won’t be mad. We can find another way to help you out. Doesn’t have to be tonight either.”

There’s a heaviness in his chest, a knot in his stomach. But also this strange, electric thrill, because there’s no one in the world he trusts more than Na Jaemin.

“I just don’t wanna make you guys uncomfortable.”

“You won’t, Mark,” Karina says, standing up and stepping closer. “It was my idea. I think it’ll be fun.”

She stops just short of touching him, close enough that he can smell something faintly sweet on her skin, something warm and soft. He recognizes the lotion from Jaemin’s bathroom cabinet, from the last time he stayed over at Jaemin’s place.

“Yeah,” Jaemin agrees, looking over at her. She’s wearing an old, soft-looking T-shirt, the kind you only wear to sleep because it’s too worn out to wear outside. Mark has plenty of those himself. “I think we should start, like, at the beginning?”

“Yeah,” Mark laughs nervously. “Yeah. I’d like that.”

Jaemin turns to face him fully, still holding Karina’s wrist, his thumb brushing lightly along the inside like it’s a habit. Casual, but intimate. He wears the same serious look he used to have before a school presentation.

“Not everything’s just about the sex, right? It’s, like… a whole package. A buildup. You can’t really be good in bed if you’re not good at foreplay.”

Mark notices the way Jaemin’s eyes move down her body. Not in a creepy way, just… comfortable. The kind of easy intimacy that only comes from being with someone for a long time. It’s the kind of intimacy Mark has never had with women.

“Right. Of course.”

Despite how close they are, Mark and Jaemin don’t usually talk about sex like this. Hearing Jaemin talk like this is weird. But at the same time, Mark can’t help hanging on to every word, like he’s waiting to be told what to do next.

“You said your date with Youngji went well.”

“Yeah. It was, like, great. She really seemed to be into it. Things just went downhill when we got back to her place.”

“And she invited you over,” Karina points out. “If the date had gone badly, she wouldn’t have done that.”

“What happened once you got there?” Jaemin asks, and he sounds genuinely curious, like he’s stepped into some kind of teaching role now.

Mark thinks back to that night, something he’s been trying hard not to do, because it just makes him feel even more ashamed. Seeing Youngji at work now is pure torture, knowing she might be whispering about how bad he is in bed.

“We kissed.”

“And how do you kiss? Are you good at it?”

“Dude…” Mark laughs, cringing. His ears are burning. “I think so? I mean… no one’s ever complained?”

“We’ll have to see,” Karina says gently. “Can you kiss me the way you kissed her?”

Mark flinches, his heart suddenly pounding. He steps back, blinking like he didn’t hear her right. He stares at them, standing side by side, so good-looking it’s almost intimidating. He doesn’t belong there. A woman like Karina would never ask him for a kiss, so the words barely make sense in his ears.

“What?”

Jaemin and Karina share a quick look, full of something Mark can’t quite name. Like they’ve already talked about this, and he’s only now being let in on the plan. For some reason, it sends a shiver down his spine.

“We figured the best way to help is if we, like... see for ourselves?” Jaemin says casually.

“But you two are dating,” Mark says, trying to understand, trying to slow things down.

“I don’t mind, man,” Jaemin says, totally relaxed. “Karina doesn’t either.”

“Do you?” Karina asks, tilting her head just a little.

Mark’s never been with anyone like Karina. Not this close. Not under this kind of lighting, under this kind of scrutiny. She’s the kind of girl Jaemin could pull effortlessly, but Mark? She’s the kind of girl who barely notices him in real life, way out of his league.

“I mean...” Mark lets out a dry, nervous laugh and tries to seem less tense than he feels. “If you’re really okay with it?”

“Yes,” Jaemin says, releasing Karina’s wrist and stepping slightly to the side, but not too far. He stays close enough that Mark can still feel him there, like a low current humming just behind his back.

Mark steps forward, hesitant. He can feel Jaemin’s eyes on him, and he knows he has to go through with it, because the whole point of this awkward situation is to help. The whole setup is meant to put him in the spotlight, but that doesn’t make it any easier. Mark’s nerves are frayed, and he’s trying hard to play cool.

Karina waits, calm and unbothered. She smells faintly like Jaemin’s shampoo, and that tiny detail makes Mark’s stomach twist. She’s not wearing any makeup, and now that he’s close, he notices faint freckles under her eyes.

“The way you did with her.” Karina reminds him.

Mark swallows hard and places his hands on her waist, trying to remember the rhythm, the steps, the right way to do this. But his heart isn’t just pounding from nerves, but also because he’s about to kiss a woman in front of Jaemin and he knows he’s going to embarrass himself. He can feel Jaemin behind him, the warmth of him at his back, and it throws him off, but at the same time, keeps him grounded in the moment.

He wants to impress her, sure, but maybe even more, he wants to impress Jaemin.

Mark leans in and kisses her. Lightly at first, just lips. Then deepens it, more deliberate. He parts his mouth, catches her bottom lip gently, sucks just enough to feel her respond. His hand slides down to the small of her back, holding her gently but with purpose.

He tries to recreate the kiss he gave Youngji, because despite the nerves, he genuinely wants to learn from this. He wants to be better. For the two people who care enough to let him into something this intimate, and for himself.

Even as he focuses on the kiss, he can’t stop thinking about Jaemin watching. It’s strange as hell, but at the same time, it leaves Mark painfully aware of everything.

When he pulls away, it takes him a second to catch his breath.

Karina doesn’t look like someone who just received the kiss of her life. Her lips are only faintly flushed from it, and she looks thoughtful for a few seconds.

“Well?” Jaemin asks.

Mark turns his head slowly, cheeks hot, ears on fire. His eyes meet Jaemin’s, and for a second, he can barely hold his gaze.

He just kissed his best friend’s girlfriend. Holy shit.

“It wasn’t bad,” Karina says.

But it wasn’t good either — that much is obvious from the silence that follows. Shame coils hot and awful in Mark’s chest, heavy the way it always is when he feels exposed.

Jaemin steps closer to them, near enough now that Mark can smell the clean warmth of him.

“You gotta know how to read someone,” he says, voice low. “Not everyone’s the same, but most of the time, girls want you to take the lead.” His hand slips to Karina’s waist, pulling her a little closer. Mark watches her go without hesitation, and something tightens in his chest. “You froze a little during the kiss. Like… why? Were you nervous? Do you usually get really nervous in situations like this?”

“Yeah,” Karina adds. “You didn’t really seem into it.”

Mark opens his mouth, but nothing comes out. Because she’s right, and he knows it.

“I just… didn’t wanna come off as disrespectful?”

Karina bursts out laughing and swats Jaemin lightly on the arm.

“You’re cute,” she says brightly.

“You’ve gotta be more assertive, dude.” Jaemin pulls Karina closer. “You’ve gotta read the mood and figure out what she likes, you know?”

Mark stands next to them, watching closely. His eyes are locked on Jaemin’s fingers, how they slide through Karina’s hair, how sure they are.

“Here, like this,” Jaemin says, voice low. He runs his fingers through Karina’s loose hair. “You can kinda tell what she’s into, whether she likes it soft or rough, just by how she reacts. Hold it like this… see? Add a little pressure.”

He tightens his grip just enough, and Karina tips her head back a little, lips parting on a soft breath. Her gaze on Jaemin sharpens, turning dark and wanting.

“What do you think? She into it?”

Yes, definitely. She’s breathing faster now, and there’s a flush on her cheeks that wasn’t there before, not even after kissing Mark.

So Mark nods in agreement, then looks away, his gaze drifting back to Jaemin when he realizes his friend is staring at him. Mark swallows hard as he feels his own face heat up, even though he isn’t the one being touched now.

“Exactly. You don’t need to be all soft, especially not if she invited you to her apartment on the first date. That’s a woman who knows what she wants, right?”

“Yeah. Right.”

“Then go for it.”

Jaemin tightens his grip in Karina’s hair. The veins in his arm stand out, and the tight tank top leaves no doubt he’s been hitting the gym for years. 

Mark’s first instinct is to look away, after all, Jaemin and Karina are doing something private. But then he remembers that the whole point is to watch and study. He almost wishes he had a notebook to take notes, just so he wouldn’t feel so exposed and awkward standing there watching them.

Karina reacts completely differently than she did with Mark. She throws her head back, eyes half-lidded, her fingers slipping under Jaemin’s shirt, just above his waist. He slides his other hand low along her back, slipping it under her shirt, resting just above her ass.

Mark’s throat goes dry. 

Jaemin leans in, and instead of kissing her right away, he drags his tongue directly across her lips. Karina gasps, breath catching. He pulls her tight against his chest, before finally crashing his mouth into hers.

Mark realizes his own mouth is slightly open and quickly shuts it.

The kiss is filthy. He catches flashes of tongue. Hears the needy sound Karina makes when Jaemin grabs her ass, fingers digging in. She rises onto her toes, trying to give more. Mark has never had a girl kiss him like that.

But that’s not all. Jaemin kisses her like he’s starving, with one hand in her hair, pulling her closer and leaving no room for doubt about who’s in control.

When Jaemin pulls back, Karina’s flushed and breathless, lips slick. Mark’s chest feels tight. There’s a throb between his legs, and he rubs his damp palm on his jeans.

“You're really good at that,” Mark says, just to fill the silence, nothing smarter comes to him. 

He stares at Jaemin, who's still catching his breath, eyes slightly narrowed. Mark feels weirdly turned on. He can't stop looking at their mouths, still slick, like the kiss left a mark.

“Can I try?”

Jaemin steps back a little, giving space — but it feels symbolic, like Mark’s stepping into his territory.

Mark threads his hand into Karina’s hair like Jaemin showed him, fingers sliding slowly through the strands. His other hand settles tentatively at her waist.

“You don’t have to be that gentle,” Karina murmurs, voice husky, eyes gleaming.

Mark tightens his fingers slightly, tugging gently, copying the way Jaemin did.

Karina smiles, wicked and teasing, like she’s sizing him up and liking what she sees, but also like she might laugh at him any second.

Something twists in Mark’s gut when he looks at her mouth. There’s still spit at the corner of her mouth, and he knows some of it is Jaemin’s.

Light-headed, like he’s a little drunk, Mark licks her lips just like Jaemin did. He wonders if that’s Jaemin he’s tasting. The thought is weird, insane, but it’s what makes his dick twitch with interest.

He kisses her again, tongue first. Karina moans softly, and he deepens it, but it’s hard to focus. Jaemin’s right behind him, so close Mark can feel the heat of his body, every nerve on edge.

So when a firm chest presses into his back, it’s not a surprise. But he still gasps into the kiss when a hand covers his own.

“Remember why you’re here. To fuck her,” Jaemin says right in Mark’s ear, voice low and hot, breath ghosting over sensitive skin, making him shiver. He pushes Mark’s hand lower, guiding it to Karina’s ass.

Mark exhales, rough this time. It’s hard to kiss like this. He pulls her close and tries to hide the erection pressing into her stomach.

“You’ve gotta turn her on. Get her wet. Girls need foreplay.”

Mark feels cornered, with Karina pressed close in front of him, pliant and open, and Jaemin behind him, a solid, steady weight at his back.

Her breasts are brushing his chest, making him dizzy, but the heat that really gets him is Jaemin’s hand over his, directing the touch, encouraging him to want more.

He breaks the kiss to breathe, but his breath stutters, shaky and shallow.

Karina looks wrecked now, eyes glazed with lust, lips swollen from all the kissing.

“That was way better,” she purrs, then leans over Mark’s shoulder to kiss Jaemin again.

Mark hears the wet sound of their kiss behind him. He closes his eyes, his dick throbbing, painfully hard now.

When she pulls back, her lips are slicker than before. Mark doesn’t even think, he just leans in and kisses her again, chasing the taste Jaemin left behind, pulled by that tight, aching need in his gut.

“Is this... weird?” he asks, voice shaky.

Jaemin doesn’t answer.

“Did you see how differently she reacted that time?” he murmurs, still close, his lips brushing Mark’s ear.

Mark wants to lean back into him, melt into that solid chest, but he holds back.

Jaemin’s solid, all gym-sculpted muscle. There’s something weirdly comforting about how familiar his touch feels, even wrapped in this new, unspoken heat.

“The devil's in the details. You gotta pick up on them.”

“Yeah,” he’s still catching his breath, lips parted, body buzzing.

Jaemin’s hand stays on his, and he feels every place where they’re touching, like each one’s burning.

“Yeah... yeah, it really was.”

“That was really good,” Karina says, cheeks still flushed, lips kiss-bitten.

Mark tries to pull back. Jaemin steps away immediately, and Mark misses the heat at his back. He feels overwhelmed because the night didn’t go how he expected, and not knowing what to expect always makes him nervous.

“Do we… have to do everything tonight?”

Jaemin looks weirdly calm, with his hair neat and clothes still perfect. He raises an eyebrow.

“What do you mean?”

“Is this a one-time thing? I’m not sure, man. The night turned out differently than I expected. I just need a moment to think. Can we continue this another day?”

Jaemin’s expression softens.

“Of course, Mark.”

“Take all the time you need,” Karina adds with a smile. “We can get pizza, watch something chill. No pressure.”

“Good,” Mark says, the weight lifting off his shoulders, “Honestly? Pizza sounds perfect.”

Karina grabs her phone and pulls up the delivery app, while Jaemin gently pushes Mark down onto the couch.

“So… what are we watching?”

When Mark is seventeen, he’s in the passenger’s seat of his mom’s car on the way to soccer practice.  He’s already in his high school uniform, laughing on the phone with Jaemin. He’s badmouthing one of the other trainees at SM.

“Is that Jaemin?” his mom asks, eyes still on the road, like she’s got some kind of sixth sense.

“Yeah, mom.”

“You and Jaemin are pretty close,” she flicks on the turn signal and makes a turn. “Really close.”

“He’s my best friend.”

“That’s all, right?” Mark’s mom still isn’t looking at him. He shifts in his seat and locks his phone, smile fading as his brows pull together. “That’s all, right? Just friends?”

“Of course, mom.” Mark laughs again, this time in disbelief. “What exactly are you trying to say?”

“I just worry about you.”

“You don’t need to worry about Jaemin. He’s, like, totally harmless,” Mark wedges his phone between his thighs. “He goes to church too. Sometimes.”

They pull up to the school, where practice is held, and Mark says goodbye, getting out without looking back.

It’s been a long time since he’s thought about that day.

Nana:
my place tonight?

me:
sure. what time?

Nana:
like... 7?

When Mark gets there, he assumes Karina will be around. On the walk over, he keeps wondering if this is going to be another “lesson,” and it makes him burn inside, like a weird mix of fear, nerves, and a low hum of anxiety. But the house is quiet and empty.

“I thought I lost that shirt,” is the first thing Jaemin says, and Mark glances down. It’s that stupid T-shirt Jaemin bought when they went to Busan after high school, before college started.

“I like it,” Mark says, smoothing a hand down the front. “Some clothes only get comfy after you’ve worn them, like, a hundred times.”

Jaemin steps in close and sniffs the collar, his nose brushing against Mark’s collarbone.

“Did I ever tell you I love your fabric softener?”

“You did,” Mark shoves at him, but Jaemin’s stronger and pulls him in, wrapping him in an awkward hug.

“Nana!”

“Missed you, fucker,” Jaemin mutters, squeezing him tight. “Feels like it’s been forever.”

“I was literally here on Friday, dude.”

Jaemin pulls back just enough to look at him, but doesn’t let go.

“Yeah, but it’s not the same,” he says, staring at Mark like he’s searching for something new. There’s nothing there.

Mark knows what he means. It’s different without Karina around. They’re different when they’re alone. 

“I wanted to talk to you about… that whole thing.”

His stomach knots up thinking about last Friday. Of course this conversation was coming. He’s sitting on the marble counter now, watching Jaemin dig through the cabinets, insisting on cooking.

“You and Karina… have you ever done that with anyone else?”

Jaemin glances up from the onion he’s chopping.

“Why do you ask?”

“You were just… chill about it,” Mark says honestly. He’s been thinking about it all week. “She’s your girlfriend. If it were me, I dunno… I’d lose my mind seeing her with someone else.”

“Yeah, well. I’m not you,” Jaemin says without looking up. “I’m not that jealous.”

“Of course you’re not,” Mark snorts. “Not like I’d ever steal your girlfriend or anything—I mean, look at me—but still…”

“Hey,” Jaemin cuts in, forehead creased like it always is when something bugs him. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“What?”

“You’re really gonna trash-talk yourself in front of me?”

“Come on, man.” Mark groans. “You know I’m not in your league.”

“You’re you. That doesn’t make you less.”

“Please don’t start with a pep talk.” Mark rubs his forehead. “We’re getting off track.”

“I told you, I’m not jealous,” Jaemin says, pouring oil into the pan and tossing in the onions. “And no, we haven’t done this before.” He tosses the onions. “It’s not like I’m into cuck stuff or whatever.”

“It’s just... you two decided so easily.”

“You’re my friend,” Jaemin says, stirring the pan like it’s the most normal thing in the world. “I’d do anything for you.”

Mark swallows. “But should you?”

“You don’t want to do it?” Jaemin asks.

Mark hesitates. This is his chance to bail on the whole thing that's been eating at him all week. He remembers how he felt — awkward and humiliated between the two of them, and how it was weird and amazing and embarrassing and freeing all at once. They were both kind. It didn’t feel like they were doing it out of pity.

“I’m just scared it’ll be super weird. What if Karina regrets it later and it messes things up between you two? You haven’t been with anyone since, like, senior year. I don’t wanna come between you. And I don’t know... I’ll probably see your hard-on or something.”

Mark figures he’ll just watch. Actually participating would be way messier. But at the same time, it’s objectively a really practical way to solve his problem. Long-term, it might even help.

“Mark.” Jaemin tosses the meat into the pan. The smell of grilled beef starts filling the apartment. “You know I love you more than I like Karina, right?”

“Dude, don’t say that,” Mark groans. “God, if she hears that…”

“What I mean is… I care about you. And if you don’t want to, we stop now. Or we can go with the original plan.”

“Just watching?”

“Yeah.” Jaemin drizzles sesame oil into the pan. 

Mark’s stomach rumbles.

“Is that what you want?”

“Maybe. Yeah.” Mark swallows, then asks softly. “Can we?”

Jaemin doesn’t hesitate. “Of course.”

“Nana.” Mark hops off the counter and wraps his arms around Jaemin from behind, burying his face between solid shoulder blades. Jaemin feels like he’s made of nothing but muscle. He smells like heaven, like clean cologne and that warm, familiar guy smell Mark would recognize anywhere. It’s so good it makes him ache.

“Thanks. You’re seriously the best.”

“Tell me something I don’t know,” Jaemin says, and Mark can hear the grin in his voice. “Also, I swear I’ve got a perfectly respectable dick. You’re not gonna be scarred for life or anything.”

As if anything about Na Jaemin could ever be just respectable.

The second time around, Mark feels a little more comfortable in his own skin. They say the second time’s always less scary, and now he kind of knows what to expect tonight. 

They have an agreement, a plan.

So Mark sits on the bed and watches Karina, completely naked, and doesn’t feel nearly as overwhelmed as he definitely would’ve if they’d done everything last Friday.

Karina is gorgeous from head to toe, and her tits are amazing. They’re definitely bigger than any other girls he’s hooked up with, and the way they fall when she’s lying on her back is just…

Mark sits on the edge of the bed, trying to stay still. His eyes are on Karina, all soft curves and flushed skin, but his focus keeps slipping, drawn back to Jaemin.

Jaemin stands between her legs, wearing nothing but a pair of white boxer briefs that cling tightly to his hips. Mark’s never seen him wear that kind of underwear. 

Jaemin usually wears loose, worn-out boxers, the elastic long gone soft so they sit low on his hips and ride up whenever he moves. It makes him wonder if this is what Jaemin wears when he knows he’s going to have sex. If this is a version of him Mark just hasn’t seen until now.

“You ever eaten a girl out?” Jaemin asks, fingers dragging slowly along the inside of Karina’s thigh.

Mark watches the way Jaemin spreads her legs further, but it’s not just her he’s watching. It’s the way Jaemin’s fingers move, how precise and slow he is. Mark wonders if he also wants to make the whole situation a little more performative than usual, now that there’s a third person watching the way they touch each other.

“Yeah.”

“You any good at it?”

Mark parts his lips before he answers. Jaemin nudges Karina’s knee further apart, exposing the slick heat between her thighs to the cool air. She doesn’t stop him. Mark catches the flush at the tips of her ears.

“I don’t know," he admits. “Maybe not.”

“Watch me,” he says. “Carefully.”

Mark’s cock throbs in his pants, and he hates how obvious it is. Jaemin hasn’t even touched her properly yet, but Mark’s already breathless.

All the tension in the room is really starting to get to him. Back in his own room, when he thought about all this, he told himself he’d stay clinical, just observe. Detached. But now he’s getting drawn in, like the air is thicker around him, like every breath pulls him closer. It’s strange, seeing this side of Jaemin. Mark’s never had access to that part of him before.

Mark tears his eyes away from Jaemin and glances down at Karina again, spread out on the bed like something out of a dream. She’s soaked, but it’s not surprising. Earlier in the night, Jaemin had kissed her with slow, deliberate intensity, then spent long minutes on her chest, licking and sucking at her breasts while Mark watched, quiet and transfixed. 

Now her skin is dotted with red marks, flushed and glistening, and Mark feels this strange urge to follow the same path with his mouth. To taste the warmth Jaemin left behind.

But Jaemin still isn’t hard under his briefs. He hasn’t gotten much attention, since Karina’s been on the receiving end of everything so far, every touch meant for her.

“Not every girl’s into oral,” Karina says, breathless, her hair fanned out on the pillow. “So it’s always a good idea to check if she’s into it before you go for it.”

“Yeah, totally.” Mark clears his throat. “That makes sense.”

Mark always checks, just to be sure, just to hear the yes.

“It’s not that common for women to orgasm from penetration alone.” Jaemin trails his hand further down Karina’s thigh, and Mark follows the movement with his eyes. “Actually, most can’t.”

“That’s true,” Karina agrees. She’s still breathing hard, her hips rolling in tiny, restless motions as if she’s chasing friction, like she needs it, clearly eager for a touch where she needs it most. “So penetration isn’t everything, no matter how big your dick is.”

That catches Mark off guard. It sounds a little... loaded.

“Oh.” Mark looks at Jaemin, then back at Karina. “That’s not a problem for me.”

Karina lifts her head to look directly at him, and her breasts move with the motion. He can’t help but stare.

“So your dick’s not small, then?” Karina asks.

Jaemin just raises an eyebrow, amused, like he’s waiting for Mark to prove it.

“Not exactly?” His skin heats up under all the clothes he’s still wearing. “I mean, it’s really not an issue.”

Jaemin laughs, kind of disbelieving but clearly entertained, and not subtle at all as he gives Mark a once-over, like he’s sizing him up. Besides his arms and neck, there’s not much of Mark visible. He’s even wearing socks.

“I kind of figured,” Jaemin says. “Usually, guys with smaller dicks end up kinda insecure about it, y’know?”

“Yeah, that makes sense. I think I’d assume the same thing if it were the other way around.” Mark tries a smile, but it comes out a little shaky. “So, about what you said earlier? About going down on someone?”

Mark wonders, briefly, how Jaemin can stay so composed. His cock has been pressing uncomfortably against his sweats for a while now.

“Please,” Karina says, almost begging. “I really want you to. I think this is the longest I’ve ever been naked without anyone actually touching me.”

Her chest rises fast, her nipples hard, her stomach trembling when Jaemin’s fingers graze higher. Mark swallows hard and his fingers twitch against the sheets.

Jaemin squeezes her thigh gently. They’re clearly not in full-on sex mode yet, because he keeps pausing to explain things, pointing out sensitive spots and what not to do. Karina always chimes in with helpful tips and waits patiently, but still, being turned on for this long can’t be easy. 

“Mark, can you hand me that pillow behind you?”

Their fingers brush as he passes it over. Jaemin holds Mark’s gaze for half a second longer than necessary before turning back to Karina. The room smells faintly of sweat and skin. Karina’s breath hitches, and something about the sound makes Mark’s stomach clench.

“You’ve gotta get comfortable or your neck’s gonna be ruined, and you’ll lose your rhythm,” Jaemin says, sliding the pillow under Karina’s hips.

“You can also ask her to sit on your face,” he adds, casually. “But some women get self-conscious about it.”

No one’s ever sat on Mark’s face before, but he wonders what it would feel like to have her thighs around his head. Just the thought has his hips shifting.

Jaemin notices. His eyes flick briefly down to the bulge in Mark’s sweats, then back up to his face. He doesn’t say anything, but his gaze grows more intense, and he doesn’t seem particularly bothered by it.

I mean, how could Mark not be hard in a situation like this?

“I want your full attention on this,” Jaemin says as he lies down on his stomach. Karina exhales and opens her legs a little wider, like she’s inviting him in. “Do you usually have trouble finding the clit?”

Mark never thought he’d see Jaemin like this, face-to-face with a pussy. His hand is flat on Karina’s stomach, fingers resting just below her belly button, but his eyes are locked on Mark’s like he’s making a point.

“I don’t know,” Mark says, swallowing hard. “Maybe?”

Jaemin slides his fingers lower and parts Karina’s lips. She’s flushed and slick, visibly wet even from where Mark sits. Jaemin’s thumb finds a spot that makes her back arch right off the bed.

“Karina’s is right here.” He doesn’t look away from Mark as he moves his thumb in slow, steady circles, like he’s daring him to keep watching. “This is the most important part, right? This is where you need to focus. It’s sensitive, so you can’t be too rough. Just... the right amount.”

His thumb moves against her clit, teasing as he drags it slowly, pressing just enough to make her gasp. Mark shifts where he’s sitting, his fingers twitching like he’s not sure what to do with them. Something about watching Jaemin touch her makes his whole body tense.

He only realizes Jaemin has stopped when Karina lets out a needy sound of protest. Mark blinks, breath catching in his throat. His thighs tense, heat rushing up his neck like he’s been caught staring too long.

“Yeah, yeah,” he says quickly, face burning. “Of course. I always try not to go too hard.”

Jaemin smiles and picks up right where he left off, touching Karina with the same slow, deliberate motion. It looks right. She’s breathing fast, soft sounds catching in her throat.

Her expression is gorgeous. Mark’s always liked watching girls when they get turned on, the way their faces change, how their bodies move when they move under him. But right now, all he can look at is Jaemin’s fingers and how close his mouth is to her.

“It’s always good to warm her up a little first,” Jaemin murmurs. “But now…”

Before Mark can fully process it, Jaemin leans in and puts his mouth on her.

Karina arches off the bed with a gasp, her fingers immediately sinking into Jaemin’s hair. Mark watches as Jaemin drags his tongue slowly, all the way up her, then settles right where his thumb had been. He must be doing something right, because Karina trembles, nearly squeezing his head between her thighs. 

Her breathing is fast and shallow, and Mark’s isn’t much different.

“Yes, yes, yes,” she gasps, over and over, and Jaemin doesn’t stop. He’s eating her out like he means it, messy and relentless. Mark catches glimpses of his tongue flicking over her clit, then sees his fingers join in too.

His sweatpants feel tighter by the second. He shifts again, thighs clenched, trying not to let his hand drift toward the waistband. Jaemin looks up for a second, just a glimpse, and Mark swears he isn’t performing for Karina.

“Jaemin, p-please… So good… Fuck…”

No girl Mark’s ever been with has reacted like this to oral. Jaemin pulls back just long enough to breathe, and Mark sees two fingers buried inside her, moving deep and steady.

“Jesus,” Mark whispers. He can’t tear his eyes away. Jaemin’s face is dripping, slick from nose to chin. Mark takes a shaky breath. “You’re... unreal.”

Jaemin’s eyes stay locked on Mark as he sticks out his tongue and licks Karina’s clit. She shudders. His fingers slide deeper, working at an angle that’s clearly hitting the right spot, her legs start to shake, like she’s coming apart.

“You watching real close?” Jaemin asks, voice low and rough.

Mark’s been keeping it together so far, watching from a respectful distance, almost clinical. This isn’t sex. It’s not about fucking. It’s about learning how to really make a woman feel good.

But somehow, watching Jaemin eat Karina out gets him hard. Something about the way it looks… God, what the fuck?

“You’re... ridiculously good at that,” Mark mutters.

“I practice,” Jaemin says, grinning, mouth still slick with her. 

Fuck.

He’s still working his fingers inside her, slow and steady, and it’s perfect. Mark could never keep it up that long.

“You’re insane at this,” Karina breathes. Mark almost forgets she’s even there.

Jaemin smiles again, all teeth and cocky confidence. 

“You know you can still change your mind, right?” Jaemin says, looking straight at him. “I know we said you’d just watch, but I’m telling you—the best way to learn is hands-on.”

Mark’s so hard it’s embarrassing. His eyes are locked on Jaemin. Karina’s pussy is drenched, and half of it’s probably Jaemin’s spit.

“Okay. You’re right,” Mark says, then looks at Karina, and she’s already watching him. “Only if you’re comfortable with it.”

“Of course,” she murmurs, shifting on the bed, legs still wide open. Jaemin’s fingers are still teasing her, slow and lazy. “Go on.”

Jaemin shifts to the side, all bare skin and lean muscle, and even though Mark’s seen him shirtless more times than he can count, the sight still knocks the air out of him. His arms might actually be bigger than the last time Mark saw him.

Jaemin isn’t hard yet as he shifts on the bed to make room for Mark between Karina’s legs, and for some reason, that detail lingers.

“Can I?” Mark asks, feeling awkward as hell.

“Same position I was in before.”

Mark lies down flat on his stomach, face between Karina’s thighs. Up close, her scent hits him harder. His cock presses tight against the mattress, and it feels too good. He has to fight the urge to moan or grind down for friction.

But Christ, this isn’t about him.

Jaemin sits where Mark was before, and Karina spreads her legs wider, like an invitation. Mark breathes her in, a burning heat rising in his gut, and runs his tongue up the length of her, slow and deliberate.

He pauses at the top to circle her pussy with the tip of his tongue, featherlight, just like Jaemin did earlier. Then again, firmer this time, testing her reactions. She shudders. Encouraged, he does it again, lapping slow and steady, then faster, building a rhythm. He can feel her thighs start to tense around him.

Karina flinches in surprise, then melts into the bed again with a sigh.

“You doing okay down there, Mark?” she asks gently.

“Perfect,” Mark answers, almost shy, before leaning in again and touching her with his tongue.

Turns out, it’s a lot harder in practice.

Mark runs his tongue over her, blindly, trying to find the spot Jaemin pointed out earlier. He keeps his eyes shut, feeling out her entrance with the tip of his tongue, teasing there briefly before dragging it along her folds, searching for what he thinks is her clit. Karina sighs and settles against the bed, relaxed, but nothing like the sounds she made with Jaemin earlier.

Humiliation simmers in his chest, slow and sharp, syncing with the steady, frustrated throb of his cock: aching, untouched, pressed tight to the mattress. There’s a gorgeous girl laid out beneath him, letting him try, and he still can’t get it right.

He pauses and starts to lift his head, only to be stopped by Jaemin.

“Where do you think you're going?” Jaemin says, in a tone Mark’s never heard before. He curls his fingers tightly in Mark’s hair and pushes his face back down between Karina’s legs. 

Pain zings across his scalp and he moans into her, the sound raw and involuntary, startling even to himself, because it feels good. Too good. Being pulled like that makes his whole body tense up. His cock aches, leaking inside his boxers and the sweatpants he still has on.

He shouldn’t like this so much. But with Jaemin’s hand in his hair and his face buried between her thighs, it’s like something inside him gives way.

“You asked me to teach you how to eat pussy, and that’s what I’m doing.”

Mark opens his mouth and sucks at Karina’s cunt, eyes shut and desperate. He can barely breathe with Jaemin holding him there, but fuck, it feels so insanely good. Jaemin tightens his grip, and Mark moans again, a needy, helpless sound he’s never heard from himself before, grinding his tongue harder against her.

Karina moans for the first time since he settled between her legs, but it feels distant, like background noise. Mark’s entire body is focused on Jaemin’s hand in his hair, the way his best friend is holding him in place like he’s just a toy, something Jaemin can move however he wants to.

Jaemin tugs his hair again, pulls him back, and Mark follows. He blinks up at him, lips parted, eyes glassy, panting. 

Jaemin stares back at him, jaw clenched like he’s annoyed.

“You learned anything?”

“I…” Mark swallows hard. His throat feels dry. He doesn’t want Jaemin to let go of his hair, even though his neck is twisted at an awkward angle. It takes a second for his words to make sense. “Yeah. I did it like you showed me.”

“Mmm.” Jaemin hums low in his throat, then pushes Mark’s face back down, fingers still tangled in his hair, holding him there just a second too long, like he doesn’t want to let go either.

Mark licks deeper, then sucks at her, stiffening his tongue to play with it. He’s aware of the embarrassing noises he’s making, trying to lick her and breathe at the same time. His face burns with shame, stomach flipping with that familiar, dizzying vulnerability.

“You forgetting something?” Jaemin’s voice is rough, low, right by his ear now. He clicks his tongue, annoyed, and slips two fingers between them, pushing them into Karina. She arches and moans.

“Too busy humping the bed to focus, Mark?”

Oh. Mark is humping the bed.

He’s so hard, so turned on, everything feels like fog. The friction of his cock against the sheets is too good, too much, and he can’t stop. Especially not with Jaemin so close, his voice in his ear, breath warm against his neck.

He remembers telling Jaemin and Karina he wasn’t a selfish partner in bed, but here he is, chasing his own pleasure. Mark moans pathetically and drags his tongue back down to Karina’s entrance, right where Jaemin’s fingers are.

His cock throbs when Jaemin slides his fingers into his mouth, wet and slick, tasting like her. Their eyes meet for a second as he does it, and something electric jolts through him. It only lasts a moment, but it’s enough to make Mark groan helplessly, chasing after them once they’re gone, mouth still open, eyes hazy, like he doesn’t even know who he’s begging for anymore.

Jaemin’s grip on his hair tightens. Mark’s eyes flutter halfway shut as he tries to go back to Karina’s pussy, but Jaemin holds him still with a firm grip.

Pinned flat against the bed, Mark is forced to look up at Jaemin, who’s kneeling between them. He’s embarrassed and has no idea what kind of expression he’s making, but Jaemin stares down at him with a clenched jaw and eyes so intense that Mark wants to look away.

Jaemin’s hard now. The outline of his cock is obvious, straining against his underwear, and Mark’s eyes drop to it again without meaning to. His jaw goes slack. His mouth starts to water.

Jaemin looks down at him, his gaze dragging slowly over Mark’s face — his parted lips, flushed cheeks, the dazed, glassy look in his eyes.

“God,” he mutters, almost to himself. “Look at you.”

Mark blinks up at him, chest rising and falling like he’s forgotten how to breathe. Jaemin’s grip tightens in his hair, and Mark shudders. He doesn’t even know where he is anymore, only that he’s burning up, leaking into his underwear, and that Jaemin is right there, hard and outlined through his briefs.

Mark can’t stop staring at the bulge beneath the thin fabric. The shape is obvious, impossible to ignore, and he swallows hard as his gaze keeps drifting back to it.

Jaemin looks huge. The thought of how he might taste, how he might feel, pulls a broken sound from Mark’s throat. It’s a needy little whimper that escapes before he can even think to hold it back. His mouth falls open, tongue peeking out, eyes wide and glassy as he stares up at Jaemin like he’s never wanted anything more in his life.

He looks hungry, wrecked, so far gone he doesn’t even realize how desperate he looks. He leans in without thinking, drawn forward like it’s gravity, lips parted and ready.

But Jaemin doesn’t let him.

He yanks Mark back by the hair, rougher this time, pulling harder to keep him from getting any closer to his cock. Mark lets out a tiny, broken whimper. The sound comes from deep in his throat, instinctive and almost pained, but the moment it escapes, it hits him like a slap, snapping him out of his daze.

His whole body goes rigid. What the fuck is he doing?

Mark looks up at Jaemin, his eyes wide, his breath hitching in his throat. His face feels on fire, and he suddenly feels acutely aware of everything. His mouth, open and desperate, his cock, soaked and aching, Jaemin’s fist, clutching his hair like he owns him.

Like he’s in control.

“Mark?” Karina calls, and it feels like it's been forever, but Mark still needs to figure out what he's just done. “Hey, are you okay?”

“Yeah,” he breathes, his voice cracking as he tries to pull away, his eyes darting to the side, as if pretending this didn’t just happen. “Totally fine.”

Mark shifts uncomfortably in bed, trying to sit up. Jaemin releases his hair, and Mark feels the absence immediately.

“Wow,” Mark says, still in shock and embarrassed, unable to meet either of their eyes.  Karina shuts her legs. “Wow, that was... I don’t know, I think I actually learned a lot today. You guys are, like, great teachers.”

He lets out a nervous laugh, the sound awkward and strained, and Jaemin tries to touch him, but Mark pulls away before he can reach him.

“Mark…” Jaemin starts.

“I think we’re good for today, right?” Mark gets off the bed, and he isn’t even hard anymore. “Wow, that was… that was cool. Thanks again.”

“No problem,” Karina says, wrapping the blanket around herself. Mark’s the only one still fully dressed. “Don’t you want to order food? We can watch something.”

“Nah, thanks, but I actually need to run to the supermarket—don’t have anything at home.”

“Why don’t you just eat here tonight?” Jaemin offers, his tone carefully polite.

There’s no way in hell Mark’s sticking around another minute, so he forces himself to walk as normally as possible to where he left his shoes.

“Another time?” Mark says, slipping on his sneakers. Jaemin follows him out of the room, still in his underwear. Mark feels his face burning. “Yeah, so… I’ll see you later.”

“Mark…” Jaemin sighs, his voice heavy, and Mark still can’t bring himself to meet his gaze. “Hyung…”

“Jaemin, please…” Mark mutters, hugging himself tightly. “Later, alright? I really need to go.”

“Want me to walk you home?”

“Dude, there’s nothing I’d rather do less.”

Jaemin falls silent, and Mark takes it as his cue to bolt out the door. He doesn’t even wait for the elevator, rushing down the stairs two steps at a time.

Nana:

did you get home?

are we okay?

Mark glances at the messages on his phone until the screen fades to black from inactivity. His hair is still damp from the shower, and he doesn’t even bother drying it. He simply slips into the most comfortable pajamas he can find and crawls under the covers in total darkness.

Is it possible to die from embarrassment?

The phone buzzes with a new message.

Nana:

mark?

Mark hates himself right now, but he still loves Jaemin, and he knows it’s not fair to make him worry.

me:

yeah

yeah, both actually lol

He locks his phone, places it face down on the nightstand, then lies awake for three hours before passing out from exhaustion.

Mark has a bad habit of putting off all the boring tasks at work until the last minute, and he's always behind on something. So, when he leaves the office that day with everything done ahead of the deadline, he thinks maybe he should embarrass himself more often. At least it makes him productive.

At home, he scrubs the bathroom from top to bottom, cleans the cabinets, and even scrubs his socks until his fingers are raw, just to avoid thinking. He’s thinking about trying a TikTok recipe for dinner when the doorbell rings.

Mark knows exactly who it is. There are at least five unread messages on his phone, and Jaemin's the only person the doorman lets upstairs without announcing him first. He's basically family, or whatever.

He considers not answering for a solid five seconds before realizing he needs to put on his big-boy pants and head to the door.

“Nana! What a surprise!” Mark exclaims when he sees Jaemin on the other side. “Wow, you brought takeout?”

Jaemin studies his face for a moment before stepping inside. He sets the takeout bag on the table and slips off his shoes. He’s still wearing the fancy, expensive shoes he wears to work, the ones that match his dress pants and shirt. He probably left his tie somewhere along the way.

“Your place smells weird,” Jaemin says, rolling up his shirt sleeves to show off his strong forearms. “Did you actually clean?”

Mark smiles slightly. “Miracles do happen, I guess.”

“Ah,” Jaemin plops down on Mark's worn-out sofa. It’s a couch he bought off Facebook, and the previous owner had four kids. There are crayon marks all over and stains Mark doesn’t even want to know the story behind. “Can we talk about what went down?”

“Honestly, I’d rather work overtime for the rest of my life than talk about this.”

Mark hears a sound from the couch, and for a few seconds, he’s horrified, thinking Jaemin is crying.

When he gets closer, he realizes Jaemin’s laughing. Mark’s jaw hits the floor.

“What the hell, Nana?”

“Are you embarrassed or what?”

Mark looks at him in disbelief, forgetting about his embarrassment for a few seconds.

“What do you think?” Mark exclaims. “Dude, if you hadn’t stopped me…”

This is probably the worst part, Mark thinks. Jaemin stopped him before things got too far. There’s something about rejection that makes him burn with humiliation.

“You were turned on,” Jaemin says, no longer laughing, but still with a smirk on his face. “I get it.”

Mark doesn’t even know where to begin arguing with that, so he switches to something more important.

“What does Karina think of me now, huh?”

Jaemin furrows his brow slightly. “Why would she think anything of you? It was so quick.”

Mark gestures, frustrated, because it’s so obvious, damn it. “Are we talking about the same thing here?”

“Mark, I don’t think she even noticed. It happened so fast. You don’t need to freak out.”

“Jaemin,” Mark says, his voice serious. “I almost shoved my face in your dick.”

That, at least, gets a shocked look from Jaemin.

Sometimes it’s hard to tell when Jaemin is being serious or just joking. The lines are blurred. Jaemin’s last girlfriend once joked at a mutual friend’s birthday that one of the reasons they broke up was Jaemin’s annoying habit of never taking things seriously. Like no problem was ever serious enough.

Of course, Mark knew him better, but there were still moments when he wished he could just strangle him.

A few seconds later, Jaemin speaks up.

“But you didn’t,” Jaemin says, glancing around Mark’s apartment before his eyes land on a framed photo. It’s the one of the two of them in Busan, arms wrapped around each other in front of the sea. “You’ve never done anything really embarrassing when you were, you know... turned on?”

Mark used to be super self-conscious during sex. He’d overthink his body, all the flaws he hid under his clothes, and he was always nervous and anxious when he brought a girl to bed, knowing he was the one expected to lead, and that they probably had expectations. It was exhausting, always fighting the fear of not performing or not lasting long enough.

When Jaemin took control and dominated the situation, Mark didn’t have to think for the first time. It had been amazing, and now it was just horribly embarrassing.

“Now we both know I have,” Mark sighs, realizing the conversation is going nowhere. He heads to the kitchen to grab the plates and set the table. “You’re staying for dinner, yeah?”

“Of course.”

They sit down at the table, and Jaemin serves the food, his sleeves still rolled up to his elbows. 

His forearms are strong, veins popping under his skin, and he has that familiar tired look from a long day at work, and since he didn’t go home first, he still smells like his well-worn cologne and that distinct Jaemin scent: man and sweat.

They’re halfway through dinner when Jaemin brings it up again.

“You don’t want to do this anymore?”

Mark doesn’t need to ask what he means, he knows exactly what this is about. He stares down at his plate instead of looking at his best friend. He hasn’t even stopped to think about it.

“I thought the offer wasn’t on the table anymore… or whatever.”

Jaemin pauses long enough for the silence to turn uncomfortable before he responds.

“I still don’t get it,” he says. “Why wouldn’t it be?”

Mark shoots him a look, brow furrowed. “Are you seriously gonna act like what happened wasn’t super fucking weird?”

Jaemin sets his chopsticks down on his napkin, then leans in, resting both arms on the table.

“Mark,” he says, meeting his eyes. “You know I’d never judge you for anything, right?”

“Of course I know, but…”

“It was good,” Jaemin cuts in. “You were really into it too. You have no idea what it was like watching you.”

Mark vividly remembers how hard Jaemin was, a detail he’s been trying not to think about since he ran out of his house that night. His stomach twists at the memory.

“I don’t know…” Mark mutters, unsure.

“If you don’t want to, that’s okay.” Jaemin smiles, a real one, soft and sincere. “But if you do... don’t say no just because you’re embarrassed.”

“Yeah.” Mark shovels more Tteokbokki into his mouth. “Huh... can I think about it?”

“Of course.”

Jaemin doesn’t bring it up again for the rest of the night.

The first thing Mark notices when she starts working at the office is the way she dresses, always effortlessly stylish.

He especially likes it when she wears strappy dresses, the kind where the strap sometimes slips off her shoulder and gives him the briefest glimpse of the lingerie underneath. She clearly has a whole collection. She’s always wearing a different color bra.

He also loves it when she wears tights. He catches himself imagining his hand sliding up the soft, stretchy fabric until one of his rough nails snags on it.

They haven’t really had a proper conversation since their date and the underwhelming sex, but Mark still politely says hi when they pass in the hallway. There’s always a bit of small talk too, when they happen to grab coffee at the same time during their breaks.

The day after the date, Mark makes a point of telling her he had a good time and tries not to take it personally when she shows no signs of wanting to keep things going.

So yeah, it’s a surprise when Youngji stops him at the end of the day.

“So, Mark Lee,” she says. “Didn’t you say you wanted to check out that new café across the street? The Studio Ghibli-themed one?”

“Uh, yeah. Sure.” Mark’s been feeling like shit all week, and he’s probably done a terrible job of hiding it at work. He doesn’t even try to fake a smile as he looks at her. “Why?”

“Aren’t you going to invite me to come with you?” she asks, her eyes sharp and curious—just like the look she gave him when she invited him over after their first date. “What do you think?”

Mark blinks a few times before it clicks.

“Sure?” He glances around, but they’re alone. He feels small next to her. When Youngji wears shoes with thicker soles, she ends up taller than he is.

“You want to go with me?”

“I do.” Youngji adjusts the strap of her purse on her shoulder.

“Yeah…” Mark scratches the back of his neck and shifts his weight onto one leg, his brows furrowing slightly. “We could go Friday after work, if you want?”

“Perfect.” She smiles, and it seems genuine enough. 

Mark wonders if it’s a pity date.

“Cool. Yeah.”

He watches her walk away. She really is insanely hot.

But for some reason, he doesn’t feel a thing.

The moment Mark walks into Jaemin’s apartment Thursday night, he can already tell something’s different.

Karina’s not around tonight, and Jaemin answers the door wearing only a pair of soft pajama pants. There’s a fresh scratch on his chest, probably not from a cat, more likely a very enthusiastic woman.

“I'm glad you came.”

Jaemin closes the door behind him and pulls Mark into a hug. They never greet each other like this when Karina’s around, so Mark lets himself relax into the strong body and takes a slow breath. Jaemin smells like Karina.

“Did you two start without me?”

“Yeah,” still in his pajama pants, Jaemin nuzzles his cheek against Mark’s shoulder before pulling back, taking his hand, and leading him toward the bedroom. “Come on. Let’s go.”

When they reach the bedroom, Mark sees Karina lying comfortably on the bed, head resting on a soft pillow, her hair tied up in a loose bun. She’s completely naked. Mark stares.

“Hi, Mark,” she smiles, totally at ease with her nudity. “Good to see you again.”

“Good to see you too,” his face goes hot. He remembers how pathetic he was the last time. “Sorry for, uh, running off.”

Karina laughs.

“No worries, man,” Jaemin answers for her. “So… I went down on Karina for, like, thirty minutes before you got here.”

Karina gives him a lazy thumbs-up, her eyes never leaving Mark.

“It’s really good,” she says, her voice soft but deliberate, still smiling, that satisfied, heavy-lidded kind of expression. “I want to be ready for you, Mark.”

Mark’s blush deepens. His ears are on fire, and he can’t look away from her.

“Ready for me?” he asks, his voice a little tighter than he intends.

“Mhm,” Karina slowly leans back, her body shifting in a way that makes Mark’s pulse spike. She spreads her legs just enough to show him, her gaze locking onto his as she does. She’s flushed, slick, and looking right at him, and the air between them feels heavier now. “Jaemin’s gonna help you fuck me.”

“Oh.” Mark glances at Jaemin standing shirtless beside him, looking way calmer than Mark feels. His skin tingles under Jaemin’s gaze. “Uh, are you sure?”

“Only if you want to, of course,” Jaemin’s voice is calm, but there’s something underneath it, an edge Mark can’t ignore.

Karina lies back, thighs open, nothing but smooth skin and invitation. 

Mark’s already hard. The moment Jaemin hugged him in the hallway, something inside him flipped like a switch. He feels the heat spreading through him, the pressure building, but he’s still unsure.

He’s never been naked in front of both of them before. Up until now, he always kept his clothes on, like that was the unspoken rule. This feels different, like crossing a line, a line that’s been waiting to be crossed for a long time. For some reason, it makes him want to pull back, but at the same time, he feels drawn in.

Mark knows he’s not perfect like Karina, and right now, he’s painfully aware of every flaw, every imperfection. He shifts slightly, a small part of him wanting to retreat, but he doesn’t.

Maybe picking up on his hesitation, Karina shifts too, kneeling up on the bed, her movements slow, deliberate, like she knows exactly what she’s doing to him. She crawls closer until she’s right in front of him, her breath warm against his skin.

“It’ll be good,” she whispers, her lips grazing the corner of his mouth, her words are soft, but they hit hard. “Jaemin didn’t even let me come without you.”

Mark’s stomach flips at the mention of it, the memory of last time fresh in his mind. His breath hitches, and before he can stop himself, he kisses her for real, deep and unhurried, tongue sliding against hers.

Karina moans into it, her hands threading through his hair, pulling him closer.

“You taste like…” he murmurs against her lips, breathless now, his voice low and fraying at the edges. He kisses her again, messier this time, mouth greedy, like he’s chasing something just out of reach. “Uh…”

Karina pulls back with a lazy, satisfied smirk.

“I gave Jaemin a quick blowjob before you got here,” she says, her voice thick with heat.

Mark freezes, blinking like his brain just short-circuited.

“Oh.” His stomach tightens. He glances at Jaemin, still shirtless, still watching. Mark’s cock throbs, growing harder as the realization hits him. Jesus. That’s what he tasted. What’s still on her tongue.

“I… mhm…” The sound escapes him, somewhere between confusion and hunger.

Then he’s on her again, like something inside him snaps. He kisses her harder, mouth open, tongue dragging over hers, trying to chase the taste in her mouth. He can feel it now, thick, bitter, unmistakably Jaemin. It makes him dizzy, makes him ache. His hips push forward instinctively.

Karina moans softly into his mouth, and it's then that he feels Jaemin’s fingers threading through his hair.

Mark pulls back from the kiss with a gasp, lips wet, eyes unfocused. Jaemin doesn’t pull away, but his hand is there, firm and possessive, like a warning or a promise. It sends a shiver down Mark’s spine. His cock jerks, fully hard now, like his body’s begging to be told what to do.

“Take off your clothes.” Jaemin’s voice is calm, but it’s firm. It’s not quite a command, not quite a request.

From another angle, or on another night, Mark might’ve hesitated. But right now, that voice, that taste, that hand in his hair… it’s all too much.

Jaemin lets go, and Mark almost whimpers at the loss of contact. He yanks his shirt over his head quickly, as if if he doesn’t move now, he’ll fall apart. He swallows hard, fighting to keep control. 

God, he can’t embarrass himself again. Not in front of them.

“Damn, you’ve got abs,” Karina says, sounding genuinely surprised.

Mark has muscles, but nothing compared to Jaemin’s. Still, the compliment doesn’t sit right, not when he knows who’s really watching. A sudden wave of self-consciousness hits him, but he still pulls off his pants and underwear in one motion, kicking them aside until he’s completely naked.

“Guess you weren’t lying about the size, huh?”

He shifts under their gaze, acutely aware of how exposed he is. His face flushes, skin burning. His cock twitches, already hard and impossible to hide. Jaemin and Karina both stare, but it’s Jaemin’s gaze that keeps him rooted.

It’s a look Mark’s never seen on Jaemin’s face before. Dark and unreadable. The tension tightens in his chest, and his breath hitches. He doesn’t know if offering himself like this, laid bare and eager, even makes sense. But part of him wants it too much to stop.

Some part of him likes being seen. Especially by him.

“Can we…” Mark starts, his voice rough with nerves.

Karina leans back, thighs parting slowly, deliberately. But Mark’s eyes drift back to Jaemin.

“Yeah,” Karina murmurs, her tone casual.

“Let’s.” Jaemin’s voice drops lower, more confident. He motions toward the bed. “Go on, kneel between her legs. I’ll be right back.”

Mark moves as directed but can’t stop glancing back as Jaemin walks away, disappearing into the bathroom. Without Jaemin there, he feels unmoored, needing his presence just to know what to do.

When Jaemin comes back, he casually tosses condoms and lube onto the bed before pulling off his pajama pants. Now, dressed only in a pair of black briefs sitting low on his hips, Jaemin makes it hard for Mark to look away. He feels unsteady, almost afraid of the hunger rising in him as he watches.

It suits him. If Jaemin had stuck to idol life, he could’ve been a walking a Calvin Klein model. Mark’s never seen anyone look that good in just underwear. 

“Everything good?” he asks, settling beside them, gaze locking with Mark’s. His voice is soft now, but there’s an edge to it. “You look kinda tense.”

Mark’s cock softens a little, tension getting to him, and even though Karina strokes his thigh, slow and gentle, it doesn’t stir anything in him the way Jaemin’s voice does.

“I was waiting for you,” Mark admits, eyes still on him. “To tell me what to do.”

Jaemin doesn’t answer right away. Something dark flickers behind his eyes, sharp and hungry.

Karina smiles and lifts her arms, pulling Mark closer with a slow, deliberate motion, her hands brushing over his skin like a promise. Mark hesitates, his body tense, afraid he’ll seem too eager now that he knows what they’ve been up to. 

But kissing Karina, knowing exactly where her mouth’s been… it ignites something primal in him. He breathes against her lips, his chest tight with conflict, before kissing her hard and deep, desperate for control he doesn’t have.

Leaning over Karina on the bed, Mark gasps sharply when he feels Jaemin’s fingers trail down his back, ghosting over his spine. His skin prickles under the pressure, heart pounding as he becomes acutely aware of Jaemin’s presence, the heat of his body just behind him.

“Nana!” Mark moans, his hips pressing forward involuntarily, his cock brushing against Karina’s stomach. His voice comes out thick with desperation.

“Nana?” Karina laughs softly, surprised. Mark’s never used that nickname in front of her. He only says it when they’re alone. “What did you do, Jaem?”

Jaemin’s voice is low, controlled, laced with amusement. “Nothing. Mark’s just… sensitive.”

Humiliation floods through him, his throat tight, and he squeezes his eyes shut, trying to hold on to what little control he has. The heat of Jaemin’s touch stirs something deep inside him, forcing him to fight the urge to arch into it. He presses his lips to Karina’s cheek, but the kiss feels hollow compared to the way Jaemin makes him feel.

Jaemin shifts on the bed behind him, moving with a slow, deliberate purpose, kneeling just inches away from Mark, making sure Mark knows exactly where he is.

“Come here,” Jaemin murmurs, his voice smooth as velvet, and slides a hand up Mark’s shoulder, pulling him back against his chest with a firm, possessive grip. Mark’s breath catches as he remembers the first time they kissed Karina together, how he’d gotten caught between them, unable to escape the suffocating heat that built between their bodies.

Jaemin leans into him, his breath hot against Mark’s ear. “Put it on,” he says, his tone laced with authority.

Mark’s hands tremble as he takes the condom from Jaemin, the wrapper already torn. His dick is rock hard again. His chest tightens, breath catching, nerves mixing with desire.

“Nana…” he whispers once the condom’s on, his voice barely holding steady. Behind him, Jaemin’s breath ghosts over the nape of his neck, slow and warm, just enough to stir his hair. Mark shudders, but it’s the sharp, quiet laugh Jaemin lets out that really gets to him.

“Can I touch you?” Jaemin’s voice is soft, close enough to make Mark’s skin tingle.

“Yes,” Mark whispers, his throat tight.

Jaemin’s hands settle on his shoulders, his fingers digging in just enough to feel like a claim on him, making Mark shiver with anticipation. “Rub your cock on her,” Jaemin murmurs, so low that Mark’s the only one who can hear it.

Mark shifts on his knees, dragging his cock, slick with lube and covered in latex, along Karina’s wet slit, slow and teasing.

“Good,” she says, voice sweet enough to almost sound like she’s teasing.

Mark swallows hard. He wants to hear Jaemin say it. Needs to. He bites his bottom lip, feeling the heat spread through him as he nudges the tip of his cock against her clit, deliberate, slow. She lets out a quiet moan, her legs spreading wider for him.

It’s a beautiful sight, but Mark’s completely aware of Jaemin behind him, close enough that he can feel the heat radiating off him. Jaemin’s hands on his arms are the only contact they have, but Mark flexes his biceps against them, aching for more.

“Does that feel good?” Jaemin’s voice is thick now, like he’s savoring every moment.

“Oh,” Mark breathes, his head spinning. “Yeah. It’s good.”

Jaemin’s lips brush against his ear, and his words make Mark’s entire body tighten.

“I like to tease like this before I slide in, you know?” Jaemin murmurs, his tone almost a purr. “Rub it slowly. Play with her a bit.”

Mark’s breath hitches as he presses against Karina again, the slick heat of her pussy, even more intense now. He feels every inch of her, even through the latex. When his head tilts back, Jaemin’s shoulder is there to catch him, firm and steady, grounding him.

“All wet for you?” Jaemin’s mouth is at his ear, breath hot and ragged, sending another shiver through Mark’s spine. He nods, silent, eyes squeezed shut, lost in the wave of sensation.

Jaemin’s voice drops to a dark whisper, his breath hot against Mark’s ear. “You wanna fuck her, Mark?”

Before Mark can even respond, Jaemin presses in closer, his chest pressed flush against Mark’s back, their skin a suffocating heat. Mark groans, low and guttural, his eyes fluttering open as he tries to focus on Karina. But his body feels like it’s spinning. Everything feels fogged by Jaemin’s proximity.

“Nana…” Mark breathes, the word slipping from his lips before he can stop it.

Jaemin doesn’t let him go. He just tightens his grip. His hold is firm, possessive, like he claims him without a word.

“Why’d you stop moving?” His voice is sharp and commanding, and it unravels him. “Am I gonna have to teach you how to fuck?”

Mark can’t think, can’t breathe. 

“Yes, Nana,” he gasps, the words burning on his tongue. “Yes, yes.”

Jaemin’s fingers wrap around the base of Mark’s cock, firm and unrelenting.

Mark’s breath catches, and he arches into the grip, hungry for friction. His body’s wound tight, every nerve straining, and he can’t stop himself from grinding back into Jaemin’s hold, needing more. His blood is thrumming in his ears, every inch of him screaming for release.

His gaze fixes on Jaemin’s hand as it squeezes him tightly, and he can barely believe how every nerve ending in his body feels exposed. Karina’s body is beneath him, but she barely registers.

“That’s it,” Jaemin growls, his voice rough with satisfaction. Then he slaps Mark’s cock against Karina’s clit. The wet, filthy sound echoes through the room, making Mark shudder, his whole body tensing. “Feels good?”

Mark opens his mouth to answer, but Karina beats him to it. Her voice is breathless, needy. “You know I love that,” she gasps. “So good. Fuck.”

Jaemin shifts, and Mark feels the hot press of Jaemin’s cock against his ass. Mark’s stomach tightens, and a moan rips out of him. “Oh fuck…”

Jaemin’s heat is everywhere, chest pressed to his back, breath in his ear, cock grinding into him, pulling a reaction from him he can’t control. It’s dizzying. His body is on fire, and every movement is a slow, torturous push toward the edge.

Mark’s abs tighten, his balls drawn up, but it’s not enough. He presses back into Jaemin again, desperate to feel more, desperate for that fucking friction.

“God,” he breathes, his voice strained, thick with need.

Karina moans beneath him, her body shifting with every thrust Jaemin guides him through. He’s not thinking about her anymore, not really. She’s just a way to feel Jaemin closer. That’s all she is right now. And fuck, does he need Jaemin close.

“Please,” Karina gasps, spreading herself wider, offering him everything. Jaemin exhales sharply against Mark’s ear, hot and heavy. “Come on, I need…” Her words turn into a desperate plea, her hips jerking upward toward Mark.

Jaemin’s breath is on his neck, his grip tightening like he owns him. The tension between them is unbearable. Jaemin finally shifts, and Mark can feel the heat of his cock against his ass as he lines Mark up with Karina’s entrance.

“Go ahead, Mark,” Jaemin murmurs, his voice low and silky, a velvet command that Mark can’t ignore.

Mark shifts between Karina’s thighs, pushing in, slow and deep, and the warmth of her body envelops him, squeezing him just right. Her moans lick at his skin like flames, pushing him to move.

“Yes, yes, yes,” Karina moans, her knees folding up to her chest, her hands gripping the sheets tightly. “Your cock is so fucking big.”

He moves slowly at first, savoring the way her body reacts to each thrust. Every time he pulls back, he brushes teasingly against Jaemin’s cock, sending a shiver down his spine. Mark bites his lip, sweat trailing down his neck, and grabs Jaemin’s thigh, dazed, pulling him closer, needing more.

“I want you,” Mark mumbles, unsure who he's speaking to anymore, the words a breathless mix of want. “I... oh, fuck. I want you."

Jaemin dips his face into Mark's neck, his hot breath fanning over his skin. Mark can’t help but whimper, tipping his head back, offering more. His hips start moving harder, more desperate between Karina’s thighs.

“You want me?” Jaemin’s voice is thick, just for Mark’s ears, laced with that dark amusement that always makes Mark ache.

Mark nods, his fingers trembling with anticipation as he slips them under Jaemin’s waistband and pushes his underwear down, slow and deliberate, until his cock springs free. His stomach tightens with nerves and desire, a rush of memories flooding him, memories of Jaemin teasing him, only to pull away when he wanted more.

“Oh fuck,” Mark moans, nearly collapsing over Karina when he feels Jaemin’s cock slide between his cheeks. His body’s burning, aching with need. “Nana, please…”

Karina bucks beneath him, frustrated by how he keeps holding back, the tension almost unbearable for both of them. Mark can’t stop the way his body trembles, so close, yet so far from release. 

He wants it. He needs it.

“Mark,” Karina breathes, the sound of his name pulling him back into motion, even as his rhythm stutters with every thrust. “That’s it. Come on.”

Behind him, Jaemin’s hands grip his ass tightly, forcing him back into a rhythm he can barely hold onto. Mark clenches his jaw, trying to focus, but his thoughts are spinning out, fast and wild. He’s slipping. He’s not giving Karina what she wants, but he can’t think straight with Jaemin’s touch overwhelming him.

Jaemin spreads his cheeks, letting the heat of his cock slide over that forbidden spot, the place no one’s ever touched before. Mark’s face burns, shame and desire blending together in a heady rush that makes his body tremble with need. He hears the unmistakable sound of the lube cap popping open, and his stomach flips with anticipation. Jaemin’s behind him again, and when his slick cock slides against Mark’s skin, it’s almost too much to bear.

Jaemin leans in close, his breath hot against Mark’s ear.

“Can I finger your pretty hole, baby?” he murmurs, voice filthy and thick with want. 

Mark’s whole body jerks, a whimper escaping before he can stop it. He nods frantically, breathless, and forces out a broken, “Yeah... please. Please.”

Without wasting a second, one of Jaemin’s lube-slicked fingers brushes over Mark’s hole. He can’t hide the way he trembles, his whole body freezes for a moment at the new sensation. No one has ever... 

Mark glances at Karina, spread out on the bed watching him through heavy-lidded eyes, wondering if she has any idea what’s happening between him and Jaemin.

“I know you want it,” Jaemin whispers, low and filthy, into Mark’s ear. “Relax for me, baby.”

The sweet pet name rips a gasp from Mark, his eyes squeezing shut as he tries to collect himself. A strangled sound escapes him, caught between instinct and desperate need, his hips jerking uncontrollably.

 Jaemin doesn’t push in all the way, just enough to leave Mark feeling stretched, claimed, burning for more. It feels like the most intimate thing he’s ever shared with anyone.

“Fuck, Nana,” Mark breathes out, his voice breaking. His whole body tightens around the intrusion, the sensation so overwhelming it sends sparks down his spine. His cock throbs painfully, still buried deep inside Karina, and he knows he’s not going to last much longer.

Jaemin keeps whispering filth into his ear, low and coaxing, persuasive as sin.

“You can take it, baby.”

Mark grinds helplessly against Jaemin’s fingers, chasing the feeling, even as shame prickles hot down his spine. He’s shaking all over, teetering right on the edge of something huge.

Jaemin scissors his fingers just a little, dragging them along Mark’s inner walls. The stretch rips another gasp from him, his hips snapping forward into Karina. Her answering moan only feeds the fire roaring through him.

Jaemin slowly pulls his fingers out, replacing the sensation with the hot, teasing glide of his cock against Mark’s flushed, sensitive skin, smearing lube over him, taunting him.

Mark feels the head of Jaemin’s cock sliding over his hole again, like he’s seconds away from pushing inside, and Mark realizes he’s never wanted anything more in his life.

 He can’t stop thinking about how it would feel if Jaemin just shoved in deep, fucked him hard, filled him up and left him wide open for the rest of the night. It’s the filthiest thought he’s ever had, and somehow it pushes him impossibly closer to the edge.

Mark arches, his breath catching, before driving deeper into Karina, using her body to anchor himself. His mind barely clings on, consumed by the feeling of Jaemin moving against him, hands bruising his hips with a grip that’s pure possession.

Jaemin’s not inside him, but it feels like he is, thick and slick, dragging over that raw, untouched spot. Mark’s body reacts like it’s been aching for this his whole life. His hips grind back, hungry for the friction, every nerve ending sparking to life, the line between pain and pleasure long gone.

“I—oh, fuck,” Mark chokes out, his hips jerking wildly. His whole body burns, muscles drawn tight. “God, I’m sorry, I just—fuck—I’m so close…”

Jaemin bites down on his shoulder, hard—possessive. He doesn’t let go, sucking a bruise into Mark’s skin, his teeth dragging over the skin as his hips snap forward, grinding against him like he owns him. The movement shoves Mark even deeper into Karina, and her answering moan is sharp and high.

Mark’s balls tighten painfully, his abs clenching in waves. He tries to breathe through it, not to come yet, but Jaemin’s panting in his ear, his cock grinding just right, and Mark’s falling apart.

Karina’s pussy clenches around him, wet and pulsing, and then it all hits him at once.

“I’m gonna come,” Mark gasps, the words breaking on a groan as he empties into the condom, his body shuddering hard.

Jaemin doesn’t stop touching him. Doesn’t let him drift away. One arm wraps tightly around his chest, keeping him upright, his breath hot against Mark’s shoulder, cock still sliding against him, slow and teasing now.

Mark’s mind blanks out. His muscles twitch in the aftershocks. All he can feel is Jaemin behind him, steady and solid, the echo of his heartbeat thudding against his back.

He opens his eyes to find Karina still spread beneath him. Her chest rises and falls as if she’d been holding her breath.

Carefully, Mark pulls out, breath catching, condom still in place.

“Sorry, I just…” he mumbles, shame rushing in thick and fast. He didn’t make her come, he’d been too caught up in Jaemin.. “I couldn’t—I didn’t last long…”

“It’s okay, Mark,” Karina murmurs, voice low and affectionate as her fingers drift lazily between her legs. “Your cock feels amazing.”

Mark fumbles with the condom, thighs shaking, barely able to stay steady on his knees. He lets himself fall onto the mattress beside her, breath shallow. He’s about to tell her he’ll go down on her when he feels the bed shift.

Jaemin.

Mark looks up and sees him kneeling between them, fully hard, chest heaving, eyes dark.

Jaemin looks almost unreal, and Mark’s breath catches as he watches him stroke himself, cock flushed and leaking, the head tinged a deep, angry red, right on the edge. Every movement of his hand is precise and hungry, practiced and desperate all at once. His eyes never leave Mark, raking over every exposed inch of him like a physical touch. Mark feels it everywhere, his skin prickling and blood roaring in his ears.

“Jaem…”

Karina’s voice cuts through, sharp, impossible to ignore. Mark jolts at the reminder. He’d forgotten she was even there, like Jaemin had swallowed up the whole room, as if he’d been trapped in Jaemin’s body and voice. 

Jaemin finally shifts his gaze to her, still jerking his cock hard, abs flexing with each jerk. He’s so beautiful it hurts. Mark swallows hard, unable to breathe around the knot rising in his throat.

“I want you,” Karina says, voice thick with need, her hand reaching out for him.

Something cold sinks in Mark at the words (I want you, the same thing he had said to Jaemin when he’d been dizzy with desire) and then he hears the sound of the condom being opened, but he can’t bring himself to look.

“You don’t have to…” Karina begins, uncertain.

“We already talked about this,” Jaemin says flatly, no hesitation.

That’s when Mark gets up, numb, not really there. The burn in his throat climbs higher as he slides off the bed and walks out, not bothering to dress. The air outside the room is cold against his skin, but it’s better than staying to watch Jaemin give someone else what he thought he was finally getting.

Mark showers, then throws on a semi-clean sweatshirt he finds in the bathroom, since all his clothes and underwear are still in Jaemin’s room.

Then, he heads to the kitchen, opens the fridge and fills a glass with cold water almost to the brim. The bedroom is quiet now, and Mark can only assume they’re done with whatever they were doing.

He sits on the counter, sipping his water slowly. He hears the door opening, followed by another door closing, and then the sound of the shower running. Jaemin lives in an old apartment, and whenever someone turns on the shower, the pipes groan like they’re about to burst.

“Hey,” Jaemin appears in Mark's line of sight. He's wearing clean underwear. The scratch on his chest has turned an aggressive shade of red around the edges. Mark can't bring himself to look him in the eye.

“Didn’t think you’d still be here.”

“Why?”

“I thought you'd leave.” Jaemin steps a little closer, and Mark can't help but tense up. Maybe he notices, because he doesn't try to touch him.

“I kind of thought I would, but I didn’t have anything to wear.” Mark tries to smile, but it feels wrong. He doesn’t know how to handle what he's feeling in that moment. “And I knew you'd be upset.”

“Probably.” Jaemin sighs. “Karina's not too happy.”

Mark’s stomach drops, horror flashing through him as he meets Jaemin’s eyes.

“What? Why?”

He knows, Mark thinks irrationally, even though he doesn't know what there is to know.

“I couldn't focus after you left and kind of... couldn't get it up.” Jaemin laughs a little. “I was worried about you.”

The feeling of failure starts to consume Mark again. This is the second time he's had any kind of sexual contact with Karina, and neither time has he made her climax. Somehow, it just makes him feel even worse, like he’s hopeless at sex.

“I feel like crap now,” Mark admits. “She deserved to come.”

“She did. I used my fingers.”

“Oh,” the weight in Mark's stomach becomes even worse. “Makes sense. You’re, like, really good with girls and stuff.”

Jaemin stays silent, but Mark feels the weight of his gaze.

“Are we okay?”

No, that’s the first thought. Mark probably will never be able to look Jaemin in the eye without feeling self-conscious. In the back of his mind, there will always be traces of how Jaemin held him, how they moved against each other, how all he wanted was Jaemin’s touch, even with a beautiful girl lying in bed with them, waiting for him.

He doesn’t know what this will do to their friendship.

Things got weird, huh?

“Can I answer that later?”

“Mark…”

“Nana.” Mark forces himself to look Jaemin in the eyes again. Jaemin looks serious, with no sign of the guy who had laughed on Mark’s old couch just a few days ago. “I love you. Nothing in the world can change that, but I just... feel fucking weird right now.”

Against all expectations, the corner of Jaemin's lips trembles as if he wants to smile.

“I told you, I’ll never judge you for anything.”

“I know. It’s one of the reasons I love you, like, a lot. But I really don’t want to talk about this right now.”

“Sure,” Jaemin looks visibly tired as he rubs his eyes. “I wanted to sleep over with you, but Karina wants to stay over, and after what happened... yeah.”

It stings a little, but Mark’s getting better at hiding what he’s feeling.

“I’ll leave. I just needed to grab my clothes.”

Mark gets down from the kitchen counter and pulls on the shirt he left on the bedroom floor earlier that night. The whole room smells like sex.

Jaemin is still in the same spot when Mark comes back.

“Say bye to Karina for me?”

“Sure.” Jaemin seems unhappy but walks Mark to the door. He’s not even sure when the night started going downhill like this.

“Are you coming over tomorrow?”

“Yeah,” Mark agrees, slipping on his shoes while trying to head out the door, but then groans, hand on his forehead. “Actually, I can't. Youngji asked me out.”

Jaemin, holding the door open, gives Mark a confused look.

“Youngji? Didn’t she give you the cold shoulder?”

“Yeah, I guess,” Mark shoves the laces into his sneaker, not bothering to tie it. He quickly checks his pockets for his phone and keys. “I think she wants to give me a second chance or something?”

“Wow,” Jaemin says, clearly unimpressed. “Huh... good luck, I guess.”

“Thanks, Nana.” Mark heads out and calls the elevator. “Who knows, maybe I'll finally put those lessons to use.”

Mark lets out a nervous laugh, but feels a bit off when Jaemin stays serious, his brows still furrowed.

The elevator arrives, and Mark steps inside, glancing at Jaemin one last time.

“You’re still going to Donghyuck’s birthday on Saturday, right?”

“Yeah, Mark.”

“Guess I’ll see you there.”

With nothing more to say, Mark steps into the elevator, avoiding his reflection in the mirror. He’s scared of what he might see.

Donghyuck is effortlessly cool, but he doesn’t have a lot of friends.

Renjun once said he was an acquired taste, back when they were all exhausted from a group project at a church summer camp. All they had to do was perform a musical piece about the importance of Jesus Christ, but Donghyuck always had completely different ideas and was very loud about it.

Even though they're all a little older now, Donghyuck thought it would be a good idea to meet up at a club-bar packed with loud college kids. Mark is the first to arrive and joins Donghyuck at the bar for their first beer of the night.

“You and Jaemin good now?”

Maybe venting to Donghyuck on Thursday night, after coming home exhausted and depressed, wasn’t the best idea.

“I don't think there's really anything to sort out?”

“Dude,” Donghyuck gestures to the bartender and orders two beers before continuing. “You're so weird.”

“Come on, Hyuck. He has a girlfriend and I acted like... I don't even know if there's a word for what I did that isn’t sexist.”

“Like a hooker?” Donghyuck offers helpfully.

“I can’t even look at Karina now.” Mark accepts the beer from the bartender and takes a long gulp. “Like, everything was a mess. This whole thing was a terrible idea.”

“At least you had sex.”

“Does it even count as sex if it was terrible?”

Donghyuck takes a sip of his beer. Mark is sitting on a high bar stool and his friend is standing between his knees.

“But bad for whom? You or them?”

“Isn’t it all kind of connected? I mean, I can’t really call it good sex if everyone’s not having fun.”

“Threesomes are confusing, man.”

Mark laughs a little.

“You ever been in one?”

“I don't think I could handle two people at once. And someone’s always going to be left out.” Donghyuck rests his free hand on Mark's thigh. “And, like, two straight dudes and one girl? Someone’s definitely getting left out.”

“Jaemin's not straight, dude.”

For the first time since Mark told Donghyuck the whole story, something really seems to surprise him.

“What?”

“Jaemin’s bi.”

“What?” Donghyuck blurts out. “Since when, dude?”

“Pretty much forever, I think?”

“Wow,” Donghyuck takes another long sip of his beer, staring at a distant point in the bar. “But I’ve never seen him with another guy.”

“Yeah, I think he prefers the dynamic with women?” Mark shrugs. “He hasn’t really been into guys lately. Or maybe he’s just low-key about it.”

“He never seems interested in any women either. You know he doesn't love Karina, right?”

Mark knows this, objectively, because he knows Jaemin well enough to tell when something is truly capable of getting him excited, and his relationship never seemed like one of those things. Jaemin has never really been subtle about how he feels about her.

“Thought you knew about Jaemin,” Mark says, leaning in close when the music gets louder. “The way you keep hitting on him.”

“It was just a joke, dude. Now I'm just pissed he’s bi and still never gave me a shot.” Donghyuck whines. “Am I ugly?”

“You’re pretty,” Mark says, smiling as he feels his heart lighten. “Jaemin’s just... weird.”

“Guess that's why you two get along so well, huh?”

“Idiot,” Mark pushes Donghyuck with his knees when his friend tries to throw himself into his lap in the middle of the crowded bar. “I don’t know why I’m friends with you.”

“You love meee, admit it!”

Mark’s about to deny it when he glances over Donghyuck’s shoulder and spots their friends heading over.

“They’re here.” Mark nudges Donghyuck off and shifts on the barstool, suddenly wired with nerves when he catches sight of Jaemin.

Jeno grabs Hyuck for a tight hug and Renjun joins in. Chenle taps his shoulder, then practically launches himself into Mark’s arms for a hug.

“Jaemin’s being impossible,” Chenle whines. “He was arguing with Karina the whole way here.”

“Karina came?”

Mark’s stomach drops, and he instantly regrets chugging that first beer. Before Chenle can answer, Jaemin corners the two of them.

“Why’d you get here so early?” Jaemin half-shouts over the noise of the bar. “I thought we were going together.”

“I came straight from work, man. The bar’s near the office.”

That at least softens Jaemin’s worried look a little. When Chenle moves away to greet Donghyuck, Jaemin takes his place.

Mark’s hyper-aware of how Jaemin fits between his legs, right where Donghyuck was a second ago. But with Donghyuck, there wasn’t all that tension.

“Are you okay?” Jaemin tucks a stray lock of hair behind Mark’s ear. "You kind of disappeared yesterday."

“I worked and then went on that date with Youngji, remember?”
Jaemin hums in acknowledgment and looks deeply into Mark’s face, so intensely it’s uncomfortable. Hyper-aware of every flaw, Mark hides his face against Jaemin’s chest. He smells unfairly good.

“How was the date?”

Mark breathes in that familiar scent and has to ignore how he gets goosebumps when Jaemin’s hand caresses the back of his neck.

“It was... fine.” Mark shifts enough to speak in Jaemin’s ear, trying to make himself heard over the music.  “I just... wasn't really feeling like it, I guess.”

“Did you guys hook up?”

Jaemin’s never asked anything like that before, but then again, they’ve never had a threesome together either. The dynamic’s changed, right? It always comes back to Mark Lee’s pathetic sex life.

What a fucking mess.

Mark tries not to show his surprise at the question.

“No, I wasn’t in the mood.”

Jaemin squeezes Mark’s neck more firmly, and he melts into the embrace.

“Are we okay?”

Jaemin asked him the same thing on Friday night, and Mark still doesn’t know how to answer.

“I think I owe you an apology.”

“To me?” Jaemin pulls back just enough to look Mark in the face, clearly confused. “Why?”

Mark looks around.

Donghyuck is chatting animatedly with the other guys and they’re not even paying attention to the two of them, but the whole atmosphere feels too open for a conversation like this. Mark feels exposed and embarrassed to bring it up in public.

“Wanna step outside?”

They walk through the small crowd gathered on the dance floor to the back exit, where there’s only a small group of friends talking and smoking in one corner.

Jaemin leans against the wall, under a lamppost, and keeps his eyes on Mark’s face the whole time.

“So?” Jaemin encourages.

No one can really hear them out here. Mark takes a deep breath, trying to gather all the thoughts he’s been obsessing over since Thursday night. Even during the date with Youngji, he couldn’t stop thinking about all the awkward things he’d done.

“The first time we went to the room…” Mark takes a shaky breath, his face burning. “When you were going to teach me how... you know, when I almost shoved my face into your dick—you stopped me.”

It’s probably what Mark thinks about the most. That rejection stung.

“Yeah.”

“So, like, that was obviously you telling me no. And consent’s super important, man, I know that. I don’t even know what the hell got into me—I was just gonna do something totally random without even asking?” 

“That’s so fucked up. Mark, we’ve already talked about this.”

“What I’m trying to say,” Mark says, his voice rising, “is that you made it clear you didn’t want that. And that’s fine! I was the one who messed up! The problem is that even so, I... I let myself get carried away and ended up doing it again!”

Under the lamppost, Jaemin’s lashes cast deep shadows across his eyes. He’s breathtaking.

“You think you forced me?”

“I think I crossed your limits.”

“Mark, no.” Jaemin sighs and leans in to hold both of Mark’s hands. “Do you want to know why I stopped you that time?”

Mark is scared of the answer. Every time he thinks about it, he just pictures Jaemin being disgusted. Still, he needs to be a grown-up and talk like the adults they are.

“Why?”

"Because I made a commitment to Karina when I started dating her. And we agreed you’d have sex with her, but I never talked to her about you and me."

Mark laughs, thinking about how everything’s a little fucked up, because, of course, the explanation makes perfect sense. In all his thoughts about what happened, that hypothesis had never crossed his mind.

“That just makes it worse, because I did it again.”

“I didn’t stop you this time.” Jaemin tightens his grip on Mark’s fingers. “Because this time, I talked to Karina and told her you and I might hook up.”

Mark steps back, and Jaemin lets go of his fingers.

“Why?” Mark frowns. “Why would you even tell her that?”

“Because it was something you seemed to want.”

In some way, the words feel like slaps to the face.

“But what about you, Nana? 'Cause from where I'm standing, it feels like you're just trying to make everyone else happy. What do you want?”

Jaemin goes quiet, and they just stare at each other for what feels like forever.  The light on the lamppost flickers. A cockroach scuttles across the floor at the back of the bar. A group of friends nearby laughs at something, loud and screechy. A gust of wind ruffles Jaemin’s perfect hair.

It feels like an eternity before Jaemin speaks again.

“You didn’t cross my limits,” that’s all he says. “I swear.”

Mark thinks about pushing him, about digging for something more, but the two of them have never been good at fighting. It’s also not the right place, even though it feels like there are so many unsaid things hanging in the air.

Tired, Mark crosses the short distance between them and slumps against Jaemin, who pulls him in without a second thought.

“Are we okay?” Mark asks this time, voice small.

“Yeah, Mark,” Jaemin presses a slow kiss to Mark’s temple. “Or at least as okay as we ever get. Now can we go back to the birthday boy?”

Donghyuck really knows how to have fun at a party.

They’ve been dancing on the floor for hours. Mark probably still has Jeno’s sweat on his clothes from when they were practically glued togethe,  dancing by the bar, laughing drunkenly. At one point, Donghyuck rubbed his back against Mark’s like they were a goddamn couple, and he was drunk enough not to care.

Jisung arrives late, as always, but the birthday gift he brought makes up for it: a gift card for Donghyuck’s favorite gaming platform. Donghyuck literally kisses Jisung on the lips as thanks, and everyone laughs and makes noise. Renjun pinches Jisung’s cheek like an overly affectionate grandma when he turns bright red.

For most of the night, Jaemin hangs out by the bar, watching his friends have fun while sipping on a beer.

“Is this what dating is like?” Jisung asks softly to Mark when they stop in a more secluded corner to catch their breath. He gestures lightly toward Jaemin, who is standing near where Karina is sitting. “Don’t you have fun?”

Honestly, Mark thought Karina wasn’t going to show up. It’s Donghyuck’s birthday, come on. She doesn’t particularly like him and has never really been a problem — she kind of had reasons, since Donghyuck used to make sarcastic comments whenever she was around. Jaemin had actually raised his voice at him once because of it, and now Donghyuck and Karina are civil around each other.

“They’re having fun.” Mark pulls Jisung into a drunken, lazy hug. “I think they argued.”

“You didn’t ask?”

Mark runs his fingers through Jisung’s hair. It’s so soft and perfect. Mark wishes his hair were like that.

“Why would I ask?”

“Aren’t you guys, like, best friends?”

“If he wants to talk, he’ll tell me without me having to ask.”

“You guys are weird.” Jisung scoffs.

“You’re the second person to say that today.”

Jeno sneaks up and hugs Mark from behind. He’s like a brick wall, sweaty and radiating heat like a furnace.

“Mark sandwich?” Jeno shouts over his shoulder. Jisung grins and hugs him even tighter, sandwiching Mark between the two of them. “I think I got drunk after my third beer. I kind of cut back on drinking once I started working out.”

“Why would you do something crazy like that, man?” Mark bursts out laughing. “You love drinking.”

“I love my abs even more.” Jeno squeezes Mark’s belly in retaliation, making him squirm and twist to break free from the hug. It’s way too hot. “Hey, come back here.”

“No!” Mark shoves Jeno away, laughing. “I need to go argue with Jaemin because he’s not having fun.”

“You should.” Jeno finally lets go of Mark, as if getting Jaemin out of his misery is the night’s priority.

He stumbles toward the bar, feeling lighter for the first time all week. The friends always make him feel better, enough to gather the courage to face Karina and Jaemin, who are still standing in the same spot.

“Hey!” Mark shouts to be heard. The music near the bar is even louder. “You guys aren’t having fun.”

“Mark.” Karina lifts her eyes from where she’s inspecting her nails. She doesn’t look upset with him. “Jaemin’s really boring when he’s in a bad mood.”

Jaemin doesn’t react to her words, just takes another sip of his beer.

 “You don’t need him to have fun.”

“Was that an invitation?” She smiles.

Karina looks undeniably beautiful, in a bright red dress and all. She dressed up to impress, and it’s unfair that she’s stuck in a corner.

“If you want?” Mark shrugs.

“Let’s go then.”

Karina dances well. She must go clubbing a lot, judging by how easily she blends in.

She raises an eyebrow when, near the bar, Donghyuck leans in to kiss Renjun on the lips.

“That’s the second person Donghyuck’s kissed tonight,” she yells in Mark’s ear.

He wouldn’t count the kiss with Jisung as the first kiss of the night, but he doesn’t know how to explain that.

“They pretty much always end up kissing whenever we go out.”

“Boyfriends?”

Mark cracks up at that.

“No! Renjun would kill Donghyuck before the first month was over. It’s just something they do when they drink.”

Mark wouldn’t even know where to start explaining their group’s dynamic to an outsider. Probably that’s why Karina feels so out of place when they all gather. She doesn’t seem concerned though. As if brushing off the topic, she wraps her arms around Mark’s neck, pulling him closer as they dance.

“I thought you were mad at me.” Mark half-shouts in her ear. “Because I was... I mean, I was really awful that day.”

Karina lifts her head. Her hair smells nice, like some expensive product Mark would never spend money on. He’s used the same cheap shampoo brand since he was thirteen.

“I wasn’t mad at you.” She brushes Mark’s sweaty hair back from his face. “I knew what I was getting into when I offered to help you.”

“But you were mad about something.”

“Not at you.” Karina slows down, focusing more on talking than dancing. “I was mad because Jaemin didn’t tell me he was bi until it was practically rubbed in my face.”

Mark blinks, thrown off. 

“I mean... doesn’t it make sense, though? It’s not like straight people go around announcing it, right? So why expect anything different?”

Karina opens her mouth as if to say something, but then shuts it and furrows her brows.

“It’s not the same thing.”

“It kind of is, Karina. Actually, Donghyuck didn’t even know Jaemin was bi until, like, two hours ago. He’s just discreet about it, I think.”

“So he's, like, closeted?” Karina asks, frowning. “I wouldn’t judge him for that, fuck.”

“He’s not closeted, if that’s what you’re asking.” Mark has stopped dancing completely now. “It just doesn’t make sense to have some kind of big sexual orientation announcement when no straight person has ever done that.”

Karina stops moving too.

“Since when do you know?” she asks.

It feels like a loaded question — Mark’s just Jaemin’s friend, and Karina’s his girlfriend. But Mark knows Jaemin in ways Karina probably never will. Mark knows their relationship probably isn’t going to last. There’s an obvious lack of interest there, an imbalance that Donghyuck points out every time she joins the group. But, at the same time, Karina is so good with Mark. She’s a nice girl.

“He and Jeno had something for a while,” Mark says, keeping it vague.

“Jeno?” Karina looks around, as if she’s going to spot Jeno in the crowd. “Like, the Jeno? Jeno who’s here?”

“Yeah.” Mark shrugs. “It didn’t last long, it wasn’t anything serious.”

It was in high school. They weren’t even real adults back then. But even before Jeno and Jaemin kissed for the first time, Mark had already known Jaemin didn’t only like girls. They were so close. Their friendship was built on years of mutual understanding and unspoken things.

“I didn’t even know Jeno liked men too.” Karina’s looking around like she’s seeing Jaemin’s friends in a whole new light. “So, like, are all of you bi or something?”

Mark’s first instinct is to say no. He’s not.

But then he remembers how he rubbed himself against Jaemin on the same bed he shared with Karina, and the words stick in his throat. It would just feel pathetic to deny it and end up even more embarrassed.

Jisung’s probably straight. Renjun only hooks up with guys when he’s drunk. Jaemin doesn’t even date guys that often.

But Mark doesn’t feel compelled to offer further explanations.

“Yeah, something like that, I guess.”

“God,” Karina laughs. “I need something stronger than beer.”

They head to the bar together.

Jeno is sitting next to Jaemin now, their heads close together in some intimate conversation. Karina raises an eyebrow, as if trying to imagine the thing they had in the past.

Mark clears his throat and orders her a shot of whiskey.

When he glances back, he finds Jaemin staring right at him.

After two whiskey shots each, Karina’s back on the dance floor like their conversation never even happened. Mark’s sweating under his clothes, hair sticking to his neck, the alcohol doing a great job of pushing all his worries aside.

At some point, Donghyuck got closer to them, kissed the back of Mark’s neck, then pulled away to kiss Renjun again. Jeno is laughing with Jisung, and Jaemin’s nowhere to be seen. It's been hours since Mark last saw Chenle.

Karina presses up against him. It would feel too intimate if this had happened a month ago, but now that they've slept together, it just feels familiar.

“You look good like this,” Karina says, her breath warm against Mark’s face. “When you let loose.”

"You’re always pretty,” Mark replies.

Karina laughs and rests her arms on his shoulders, then grabs Mark's hair with enough force to make his scalp throb. It’s not the same as it would be with Jaemin, but it’s nice.

“Thanks,” Karina rubs her lips on Mark's cheek in an intimate way. She slides her mouth down to his ear and nibbles playfully. “Didn't you have a date last night? How was it?”

“Nah, it didn’t really work out. I think the timing was off.”

“Did you try anything you learned?”

“No.”

Mark places his hands on Karina's hips. He doesn't feel as bold as she does, but he can't seem to pull away either.

“Her loss, right?” Karina’s smile grows. She tightens her arms around Mark’s neck, pulling him closer. With the heels she's wearing, they're at the same height. “Mark, Mark, Mark.”

She kisses him slowly, almost like she’s testing his reaction. Mark pulls back a few seconds later.

“Karina…” Mark doesn't know what to say. Without Jaemin here, everything feels wrong. All he feels is a bubbling discomfort in the pit of his stomach.

“Don’t you want to?”

“I... uh…”

Mark glances around, searching for where Jaemin has been most of the night.

He’s there, sitting on a high stool, legs spread a little, beer resting on his thigh, leaning back against the bar. Stupidly handsome. Jaemin stares back at them, face blank as a slate.

Bad mood, huh?

“Jaemin and I talked about this,” Karina continues when she notices Mark has no response. “We kind of have a free pass when it comes to you.”

“That’s crazy,” Mark says with a short laugh, even though Jaemin basically said the same thing a few hours ago. “Like... you know? Why would any of you want something like that?”

“Because you're hot.”

Mark drops his hands from her hips, still half in a daze.

“I’m just gonna…” Mark jerks his thumb toward the bar and steps away from Karina.

His head’s a little fuzzy from the whiskey. He’s not drunk yet — if he stops now, he’ll be sober by the time he leaves — but he figures he deserves one more beer. Specifically, the one Jaemin’s holding.

“Nana.”

Mark suddenly wishes they were back home, watching some random show on Netflix. Jaemin would definitely make that buttery popcorn, and they'd eat until the salt burns their tongues. Neither of them likes crowds.

“Mark-ah.”

He steps closer until he's standing between Jaemin's open legs. The bar stool is tall enough for them to be at the same height, even with one of them sitting. Jaemin looks deeply into his eyes, not looking away. Mark holds his gaze.

“You're not going to dance with me?” Mark leans into Jaemin’s personal space just to be heard over the music. “You’re going to stay here in a bad mood all night?”

“I like to watch.”

A flush rises on Mark’s cheeks, remembering the things Jaemin watched the last few times they were together. He steals Jaemin's beer bottle and takes a big gulp. Any of the other guys would’ve complained, but Jaemin doesn’t.

When he returns it, Jaemin drinks too.

Someone bumps into Mark trying to reach the bartender. Jaemin spreads his legs further apart to make room, and now they’re pressed into each other’s space. Mark’s head spins as he rests his hands on Jaemin’s thighs.

“Are you drunk?”

“No.” Jaemin looks at Mark’s lips. “You?”

Mark shakes his head and reflexively squeezes Jaemin’s thighs beneath his fingers. His muscles are solid, barely any fat to pinch.

“Why are you looking at me like that, Mark?”

Jaemin puts one hand on the back of Mark’s thigh, exactly where his ass ends, and pulls him impossibly closer. Now, between his legs, Mark feels drunker than ever that night.

Breathing heavily, Mark leans in and kisses the corner of Jaemin's mouth for a second before pulling away. He feels Jaemin’s fingers flexing against his thigh and moves forward again, this time kissing Jaemin’s mouth, their lips still closed.

When he pulls away a second time, they stare deeply at each other. The tension knots Mark’s stomach — it’s his first time kissing another man. His whole body is tense while Jaemin just stares back without moving, making Mark start to feel unsure. He thought he’d read the signs correctly, but maybe…

“Do you want to?” Mark asks, unsure.

Jaemin moves his hand up to Mark’s hip and squeezes tightly. They’re already completely pressed against each other, but it’s as if he’s trying to fuse their bodies.

“If I kiss you now,” Jaemin says low against his ear, voice hoarse and dark, “and you keep looking at me like that, I’m going to bend you over this bar, pull your pants down, and fuck you so hard you’ll forget your own name.”

Mark shudders, breath catching painfully in his throat. His fingers clench in Jaemin’s shirt, helpless.

“Nana, fuck—” he gasps, pressing his face into Jaemin’s neck like he can hide there, trembling with how badly he wants it.

“Yeah?” Jaemin’s hands tighten on his hips, dragging Mark closer, grinding their bodies together with slow, punishing pressure. “You want that? Want me to fuck you where everyone can see how pretty you are when you fall apart for me?”

Mark whimpers, hips stuttering forward into Jaemin’s. He can’t stop himself. He’s rock-hard, leaking in his pants, desperate for more friction, more touch, more of Jaemin.

“God—” Mark gasps again, his mouth brushing Jaemin’s skin, open and hungry. His whole body is burning.

Jaemin drags his hands down, grabbing Mark’s ass roughly and grinding up against him harder, making sure Mark feels how hard he is too.

“You’re fucking dripping for it, aren’t you,” Jaemin growls, his voice pure sin in Mark’s ear. “Bet you’d let me pull you open right here. Bet you’d beg for it.”

Mark’s only answer is a broken moan, hips rolling shamelessly into Jaemin’s. His mind is blank except for the overwhelming need pulsing through him, sharp and wild.

“Such a good boy,” Jaemin murmurs, biting lightly at the shell of Mark’s ear. “Look at you, grinding on me like you’re desperate to get fucked.”

Jaemin’s strong grip holds him steady, keeps him right where he wants him, trembling and desperate.

“Hey, you guys are in public.”

Mark opens his eyes and Karina is standing next to them. He doesn’t notice her approach, and he has no idea how long she’s been there, but shame washes over him, sharp and familiar. He’s still so sensitive, and he involuntarily thrusts his hips against Jaemin’s, somehow trying to get some friction for his hard cock. He can’t even remember the last time he got this hard in public.

When he opens his eyes again, Karina’s watching them closely, her sharp gaze sending a chill straight down Mark’s spine.

“You gonna kiss me, Mark?” Karina asks, tone easy, but her eyes are serious.

Mark grabs Jaemin’s T-shirt without thinking and opens his mouth to agree, but he can’t.

He doesn't want to kiss Karina. Not even a little. By the look on her face, she knows.

“I just…” Mark swallows the saliva building in his mouth, his face still partly buried in Jaemin’s neck. “I don’t know, I don’t think I can do this anymore?”

The uncertainty bleeds through Mark’s voice, and in a sudden moment of clarity, he realizes that if they stop what they're doing, he'll have to let go of Jaemin.

Because Jaemin is Karina’s boyfriend, not Mark’s.

Jaemin doesn’t stop Mark from pulling away. The loss of Jaemin’s touch on his thigh hits harder than it should. He has to fight the urge to hug himself.

“Jaem, I think we should go.” Karina looks exhausted. She brushes her hair away from her face and leans on the bar.

Jaemin clenches his jaw as if he’s about to say something. Mark feels the heat of his gaze, but he doesn’t look back.

“Yeah,” Jaemin gets off the chair. “Mark, are you coming too?”

“No.” Mark licks his dry lips with his tongue. “I’m going with Donghyuck later.”

“Text me when you get home?” he asks.

“Always.”

Mark sneaks a glance at Jaemin, and he looks just as tired as Karina. His heart tightens. 

Another night, another goodbye that leaves them all feeling worse than before.

Mark gets home as the sun starts to rise behind the blackout curtains.

He sits on the old sofa and plugs his phone into the charger.

home, he texts Jaemin.

Jaemin replies almost immediately.

good, he texts. single now.

Mark just stares at the message, his chest tight and his throat burning. The phone screen goes black after a few seconds of inactivity. He unlocks it again with shaky fingers and types: is everything okay?

i told you, Jaemin replies, i love you more than I like her.

Jaemin shows up on Sunday while Mark is in the middle of making dinner. They just stare at each other at the door for a long moment before Jaemin finally steps inside and sinks onto the barstool by the kitchen.

“Nana, why’d you even start dating her?”

It’s a question Mark’s been asking himself since day one, but never out loud. Because Karina is an outlier, and Jaemin never seemed genuinely interested.
Jaemin stares at Mark while he cuts the meat into strips, an unusually serious expression on his face.

“She wanted to date, and I had no reason not to.”

“What are you, the last hopeless romantic or something?” Mark asks dryly. “That’s a terrible reason to date someone, dude.”

“I know.” Jaemin keeps his eyes on Mark’s hands as he handles the meat that will be fried for dinner. “I never lied to her and said I was in love or anything like that. I said we could try. I thought maybe I'd fall for her eventually.”

Mark’s heart tightens as he walks over to the sink to wash his hands. He scrubs his fingers, under his nails, and he doesn’t even flinch when Jaemin wraps his arms around him from behind — he’s been waiting for that touch since the second Jaemin walked through the door.

“I didn’t have a reason to start dating her. But I had every reason to end it.” Jaemin whispers in Mark’s ear. “I can’t stop thinking about you. I never wanted anyone this way.”

“Nana, what are we doing?” Mark murmurs, his words drawn out, because, just then, Jaemin rubs his lips on the sensitive spot behind his ear, and Mark’s whole body tenses violently. “We won’t be able to talk if you keep doing that, damn it.”

“I can’t look at you,” Jaemin says again, his mouth against Mark’s ear, breathing on all his most sensitive spots. “You look at me, and all I wanna do is bend you over the nearest surface and wreck you.”

“Nana…” Mark groans, his cock reacting to the words. "Are you finally gonna kiss me?"

Jaemin spins Mark around and crashes their mouths together, kissing him so wet and messy it makes Mark’s head spin.

“Nana…” Mark’s eyes snap open as they pull apart to breathe. Good thing he already turned off all the stove tops. “Do you really wanna…?”

Jaemin’s gaze darkens.

“What?”

Jaemin has already seen all of Mark’s ugly sides and doesn’t care, so Mark forces himself to pull away and head for the kitchen table — the same one where they’ve shared a million meals over the years.

He hears footsteps coming closer, and in a reckless surge of courage, he shoves his sweatpants down and bends over the table, bare and helpless, practically offering himself up. He’s never put himself in such an obscene position before.

"Mark, look at you," Jaemin rasps, his voice thick with hunger. "Bent over for me like a fucking slut." Mark’s face burns against the cool wood of the table, and he tenses sharply when Jaemin grabs his cheeks and spreads them to get a better look. It’s humiliating, obscene, and makes Mark’s cock leak. He’s never been this turned on. "Fuck, Mark, you have no idea... you're filthy. So fucking hot."

“You like seeing me like this?”

Jaemin answers with a sharp slap to Mark’s ass, making him jolt.

Mark grits his teeth as the impact makes him jolt. He tries to open his legs wider, but his sweatpants are still stuck around his ankles. Before he can think again, Jaemin delivers another slap to the same spot. The skin burns deliciously.

“Do I like it?” Jaemin’s voice is hoarse now, and Mark looks over his shoulder when he hears the sound of a belt being undone. Jaemin pushes the waistband down and pulls his cock out. It’s completely hard. Mark feels his mouth water. “I know what you want.”

Jaemin taps the head of his cock against Mark’s hole, slow and teasing, making obscene little sounds as he drags it over him. "Bet you’d let me shove it in you raw, huh?"

“Nana, what do I want?”

“You want me to stuff you full, don't you?” Jaemin croons, slapping his cock against Mark’s twitching hole. “You want me to break you open. Make you drip for me.”  Then he slides his hand over Mark’s hips and pulls him closer. “You’ve wanted this since that night.”

“Damn, yes.” Mark breathes, his eyes rolling back. Unable to hold back anymore, he grabs his own cock and strokes it feverishly, trying to relieve the tension. “I want it so bad, damn, I can barely think about anything else.”

Jaemin grins as he pulls away and starts jerking off with the same intensity Mark is, his eyes locked on the ass laid out for him.

“Say it,” Jaemin demands, dragging the head of his cock up and down between Mark’s cheeks, not giving him what he wants.

Mark sobs out a noise of frustration, fists clenching uselessly against the table. He tries to push back, to catch the head against his hole, but Jaemin just pulls away with a laugh.

“Tell me you want my cum leaking out of you.”

Mark’s whole body shudders. “I do,” he gasps, breath hitching. “Fuck, Nana, please, just—”

Jaemin grabs a handful of Mark’s hair and tugs his head back, forcing him to arch for him.

“You’re so fucking desperate,” Jaemin snarls against his ear, grinding the head of his cock messily against Mark’s spit-slick hole. “You’d let me fuck you raw and ruin you right here. Spread out like a bitch in heat.”

Mark whines, actual, humiliating whines he can’t even control, his hips rutting against the air. He doesn’t care anymore if Jaemin thinks he’s disgusting. He just needs it.

Jaemin finally lets go, stepping back just enough to stroke himself, precum dribbling over his fist as he jerks off fast and messy, still staring at the way Mark’s hole flutters, aching for him.

“I’m going to come on you.”

Jaemin warns just minutes before Mark feels hot, sticky stripes splatter across his skin. It’s enough for him to reach his own orgasm, his whole body tensing hard with the intensity.

Mark collapses against the table, boneless, his skin sticky and burning. He barely registers the soft curses Jaemin lets out as he steps closer again, dragging his fingers through the mess he made on Mark’s lower back.

"Fucking perfect," Jaemin mutters, tracing lazy patterns on Mark’s trembling skin. "Could fuck you like this all night. Could fill you up again and again."

Mark shivers, a whimper catching in his throat. He's too wrung out to answer — all he can do is melt into the hands that roam over him, filthy and tender all at once.

Jaemin leans down, pressing kisses along the curve of Mark’s spine, his voice low and almost sweet now. "Mine," he breathes against the back of Mark’s neck, like a brand.

Mark makes a tiny, helpless noise, somewhere between a sob and a sigh, and Jaemin is already wrapping him up in careful arms, lifting him like he’s something precious, like he didn’t just wreck him against the kitchen table.

“Shower?”

“Anything you want.”

Jaemin scoops him up bridal-style and carries him toward the bathroom.

Mark’s chest rises and falls as he tries to catch his breath, still feeling the lingering effects of the rush. His back aches, his legs are trembling, but there’s a strange sense of satisfaction settling in his chest.

He feels... happy.

Two months later, when a cute new girl at the office flashes Mark a smile in the coffee line, Youngji rolls her eyes, taps the girl on the shoulder three times, and says loud enough for Mark to hear.

"Darling, Mark Lee's got himself a hot boyfriend now. You don’t stand a chance." Then, she adds quietly, “But trust me, you’re not missing much.”

Mark doesn’t even feel bad about it, like he probably would’ve felt a few months ago, because Na Jaemin never complains about Mark’s skills in bed. In fact, he loves it.

And honestly, he’s got a smoking hot boyfriend.