Work Text:
Ruler had been acting off for… a while now.
Extremely closed off, nervous around people, especially Sticker for some reason. Moreso when they talk, likely due to their androgynous voice. And it got much worse when Jammy was eliminated.
And it was pissing Sidewalky off to no end.
.
"Ruler! Stop acting so goddamn weird!"
Ruler jumps back, falling onto his backside as he does so.
"You scared me, Sidewalky! If I had my henchman here, I’d have her a-attack you!"
.
"Why are you acting so weird!" Sidewalky says in response. Because he’s Sidewalky, duh.
"I- uh…"
.
"Tell me!" Sidewalky picks ruler up by the top end.
"N-No, I refuse!"
"Alright, I’ll make you tell me!"
.
Ruler spilled everything. About Val, whoever the hell that is. Sidewalky didn’t fall for that shit.
Until later.
.
"Val, please, I—"
"s hut up and late me rap you 😛"
Sidewalky watched from a distance, as he was spying on Ruler.
Seeing every detail, every thrust from Val. Every scared moan from Ruler.
.
Sidewalky grabs his old ass, crusty ass cell phone, the wallpaper reading ‘Hello! I’m Sidewalky’s cell phone! My owner is extremely rude and brash, but somehow he’s doing good for once? Bring back the real Sidewalky, SMH!’.
And records it.
.
The next morning came way too slow for Sidewalky. He doesn’t normally get much sleep at all, but that was amplified tenfold.
But now he was here.
"Do Do Do…"
Sidewalky walked up to Announcer, interrupting his humming.
"Oh, Hello Sidewalky. Nice To See You Up This Early."
"Speakery, look at this! It’s why Ruler’s acting so weird!"
He shows Announcer the footage.
.
‘Val! I—’
‘never tell anyone… 😜’
.
"Wow. That’s Terrible. Thank You, Sidewalky."
"Yeah, whatever."
.
Announcer confronts Val. It was surprisingly easy to find them.
"Val, Sidewalky Told Me That You Raped And Blackmailed Ruler. Is That True?"
"…does it look like i would do smth like that?"
.
"No. So I’ll Spare You."
.
Sidewalky spasms on the floor.
"GODDAMNIT!!!!"
.
"Just Kidding. Bye, Val."
Announcer flings Val to the new ‘Tiniest Loser Chamber’.
"Oh, phew." Sidewalky sighs.
"I’ll Tell Ruler. Thank You Again, Sidewalky."
.
"Shut the fuck up, bro."