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People in the theater don’t really pay attention who comes and goes during practice and rehearsals. It’s always a mess and whirlwind of people who wanna take a look, who are bored or are just waiting for their friends. But there is this one kid Miyuki sees often, often enough to remember him in the sea of strangers. He is there most of the time, alone (and Miyuki knows this because he in the theater almost every day for a few hours), rarely skips a day and always has a notebook with him.
“Why does he come here?” Miyuki said to no one in particular.
“Who?” Kuramochi asked, not lifting his head. He was sitting by Miyuki’s legs, applying more glitter on the already too dolled up dress - honestly, it already had enough glitter to blind a person.
Kuramochi was part of the staff here, the one who painted the background for the scenes, who fixed up costumes and who sometimes took a part in the play. That is, if he liked the play and his part wasn’t complicated, also if he didn't have lots of lines. (He was a complicated and picky person)
“The kid with a notebook. Mostly sits in 2nd or 3rd row. Comes often,” Miyuki said nonchalantly gesturing towards the 2nd row, where the said boy was typing on the phone. It’s not like he specifically paid attention to him every time he came. (lies) He just happened to notice him. (more lies) Ok, he wanted to know who is the boy with a soft smile on his lips. He wanted to know who is the boy which doesn’t pay attention to all the noise they make. The boy who spends hours looking at them and scribbling something in the notebook.
Kuramochi lifted his head to look at the gestured direction. “Oh, that's Sawamura,” he said and continued gluing glitter.
“You know him?” Miyuki asked surprised. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I didn’t know you were even interested. And why are you even interested?” Kuramochi raised an eyebrow, looking curiously at him.
“No reason. I just see him often.” Miyuki tried to shrug it off. “So, how do you know him?”
“We share some classes together. He is an art major like me, but he still doesn't know which direction he wants to take it. Not like i am any better. Fuck.” He managed to glue some glitter on his jeans while talking. It didn't look that bad. I mean like, who doesn't wanna have a sparkling pink glitter on their clothes.
Miyuki laughed at the other boy’s accident. At least it was better than all the other accidents and weird stuff that happened. He will never forget the day Kuramochi came into their room in a tight, red dress. He never found out why was Kuramochi wearing it in the first place. Maybe Ryou was into some kinky things, who knows.
He looked back the boy, who was still texting. He knew who he was, it should have been enough, but it wasn’t. Perhaps he wanted to know him a bit better. Ask him about the notebook, why he spends so much time here.
It was just curiosity, nothing more. Getting to know another person, Miyuki said to himself. It’s normal to be interested in new people. That’s why after that day, Miyuki saw him everywhere.
It wasn’t on purpose. He just happened to be at the right place in a right time, and besides, they went to the same university, he was bound to meet him often around campus. Right?
“So why didn’t you see him before?” said a voice at the back of his head that sounded like Kuramochi. Maybe because he didn’t search specific people in the crowd and he just sees them as a blur...Ok, he might have developed a slight crush on the boy, because the sun shined brighter every time he smiled, nothing more.
A week later and Miyuki found out a couple of other things, completely unintentionally.. His name was Sawamura Eijun, art major, had a few friends, one of them being Ryou’s little brother. He was a freshman and yet shared classes with Kuramochi who was 2nd year. Hence Miyuki concluded that he probably had some serious art skills or something. The notebook he carried all the time was actually his sketchbook and he came into theater to draw them.
He also noticed that Eijun always had a phone with him and was always on it, constantly typing something. It wasn’t such an unusual thing to see this day and age, yet somehow it caught Miyuki’s attention. There was another thing that caught his attention. Eijun liked to gesture around animatedly with his hands, a lot. It was fun and a pretty cute thing to see, at least to Miyuki.
Miyuki was practicing like usual when he felt eyes on him watching his every move. It was a weird feeling, one which he couldn’t get rid off. He looked around and caught a pair of brown eyes that were insistently looking at him. It was Eijun. He lowered his head for a second to scrawl something in the sketchbook and when he lifted it, Miyuki caught his gaze. Eijun’s face went blank for a second before it turned pink. Cute, Miyuki thought, his cheeks also coloring.
He waved to the boy, chuckling when Eijun waved back, the blush reaching his ears. Miyuki continued the practice and Eijun’s eyes continue to follow him around. Now that he knew it was Eijun, it wasn’t such a weird feeling anymore. It actually felt kind of warm.
After a while Miyuki figured out Eijun must be drawing him. He blushed at the thought, dismissing it instantly. Why would Eijun do that? It’s not like he was even a good model. But Eijun’s eyes went from Miyuki to sketchbook all the time, his hand working non stop.
This is how it started. A, so called, catalyst that sent everything into motion.
Waving when they happened to see each other, the drawings and smiles. Nothing more. Miyuki would make silly poses for the boy to draw and in return he got a bright smile. It was good, it was easy. Because all these small gestures were enough for Miyuki.
He concluded that the boy’s smile could stop wars and replace the sun. And maybe make his heart beat faster or skip a few beats, depending how cute it was. With each little gesture his crush just got bigger and was starting to turn into something more.
Miyuki was on the stage rehashing his “tragic” monologue (his lover died and his best friend killed himself in a very comic way. That friend was Kuramochi which made it even funnier), when he noticed Eijun coming in and sitting in his usual place. Before he pulled out the sketchbook and begin to work, he waved to Miyuki. Miyuki’s lips pulled into a small smile, a fond look in his eyes, as he went back to rehearsing.
The older boy was tired, he went over the lines for at least 15 times, so when he saw Kuramochi walking through the door he decided it was time for a break.
He waited for Kuramochi to come, but Kuramochi stopped next to Eijun. They were talking, waving their hands around. Miyuki didn't understand what they were talking about that could include so much hand movement.
He stared at them for at least 10 minutes until his brain kicked in and he realised they weren't just randomly waving their hands around. He had seen this in movies, those educational shows and on the news sometimes. It was sign language.
He was a little taken aback, before it finally made sense to him. He almost facepalmed for needing so much time to figure it out. The phone, he must have written the things he wanted to say on his phone, that's why he always had it. And his friends, they never seemed angry when he was always on his phone. Also, all the gesturing he saw before, it was signs.
“When do you know sign language?” Miyuki blurted out as soon as Kuramochi got close.
“Hmm? Usually everyday unless i break my fingers,” he answered absentmindedly, taking out the brushes from his bag. From the thinnest to the thickest, all spread out before him. He was supposed to paint a really detailed background. Which meant lots of swearing and ruined clothes.
“Come on, I am serious here. Why didn’t you ever tell me you know it? When did you learn it?”
“You never asked. And i picked it up as a kid. One of my relatives used it and he taught me some gestures.” At that moment Miyuki missed his friends curious eyes, the twinkle of realization in them.
“What about Sawamura? What's wrong with him?” he regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth. They left a foul taste. That was not how he wanted to ask about Eijun, but stupid curiosity got better of him.
“Everything is fine with him,” Kuramochi bit out, anger evident on his face.
“I know! I am so sorry, i didn’t mean it like that. I didn’t think what i said, “Miyuki finished softly. “I just said the wrong thing. I am sorry.” He looked back toward Eijun, who was sketching something with smile on his face. He always smiled. Of course, nothing was wrong with him, Miyuki was just being an idiot.
“Idiot.” Kuramochi said, confirming his thoughts. He gave him a long look before his face softened and answered. “Sawamura is deaf. Not 100%, but enough for him to use sign language.” Miyuki nodded, not taking his eyes of the boy. “And don’t you ever say that again. He is perfect the way he is.”
“He is.” Miyuki mumbled under his breath, his eyes on the drawing figure. He really was.
The discovery that Sawamura was deaf didn’t do anything for his feelings. They were still strong as before, possibly even stronger.
He had an unusual feeling of fondness towards the artist, something he didn’t felt towards anyone. He wanted to protect that smile and never let it go.
___
The shiny red numbers on the clock mocked him. Minutes went by, hours even, but the numbers on the clock showed it only passed 10 minutes. Why was time, so slow? Couldn’t it go a little faster,like his thoughts did? Just jumping around, running away quickly.
He glared at the clock, like it would make him move faster. It didn’t, it never did. One minute will always have 60 seconds and an hour will always have 60 minutes. And the morning will always be close, but not close enough.
Just 3 more hours. Just 4 more hours until the first lecture. Just a bit more.
Eijun turned in his bed again, for the 10th time in the past 15 minutes. He tried to close his eyes and sleep, but it wasn't working. His thoughts were too loud, too messy. If they could just stop swirling in his head.
Ah, how he hated nights like these. They come out of nowhere, there to suffocate him. His chest feels like it's filled with lead, so heavy for no reason. Nothing happened today, nothing will happen tomorrow, there is no need to feel like that. No tests, no meeting new people, no projects to finish. Nothing. So why? Why? Why?? WHY?!
He pondered getting up and ditch sleep completely. It wouldn't be a first time and it’s not like he will fall asleep. He might as well do something useful. After a few minutes, he got up.
He picked up a sketchbook and a pencil, easy to find them in the dark since they were always on the desk next to his bed. As quietly as possible he exited the bedroom, being careful not to wake up Haruichi.
He shuffled into the living room, picking up the hoodie from the couch. The soft material wrapped around him making him warm. He settled into a comfortable position on the couch and flipped open his sketchbook.
The last page was a sketch of a girl in the theater. Just a rough sketch, messy lines, a hand too long or maybe the other was just too short. Why couldn't they be right? He ripped the page, scrunching it into a ball, and threw it on the table. He also ripped the one before (the leg was wrong) and the one before that (his eyes weren't in the right place) and 5 other pages.
Eijun loved theatre, he liked to draw people on stage, their movement and gestures. It was nice, being able to catch all that emotion and imprint it into his sketchbooks. But he also hated it.
He hated not being able to hear all the lines, hated not knowing what was being said while the actors did a particular scene. It was just body movement and facial expression, reading lips as much as possible, guessing most of the time.
As much as Eijun loved to draw all that, he was angry. Angry at crooked lines, angry at expressions that weren't good enough. It was never good, there was always something missing, lacking. Was he the one lacking? It was a question he asked himself countless times.
You don’t need to hear to draw. So why? Why did he feel sometimes everything would be better if he could hear? Why did he feel his art would be better? It was a foolish way of thinking. The one that came late at night when he couldn’t sleep. When the clock ticked 4am and he still didn't close his eyes.
He huffed, thinking wasn’t going to help him. It never did. It was just time consuming and useless. So he turned a new page and drew. If he wasn’t happy with his art, he could always practice to get better. It was better than thinking about irrelevant things. Stuff he had accepted long ago, but somehow would always come back and nag him, sneaking into his mind when he needed them least. Over time he learned to ignore it all… at least part of them.
As time passed by, one sketch turned into 10, then 15. People he knew, people he only saw once, cats, dogs, flowers he saw on the way home. It was relaxing. His thoughts quieted down, becoming just a background noise. It was nice.
He felt a hand on his shoulder and almost screamed. In front of him was Haruichi, his hair sticking in every direction from sleep. Eijun had to laugh at his roommate's bed hair, it was always funny. Haruichi gestured towards the clock on the opposite wall and the other boy had to look twice. It was already 7:30.
“How long have you been here?” Haruichi asked. It was kinda tough to read his lips since he was always little groggy in the morning, but the other boy managed.
Eijun hummed, after some thought he lifted 3 fingers. Even he didn't realize that much time has passed. Also, he literally didn't sleep a minute all day. Well today was going to be hell.
“Eijun,” Haruichi scolded.
There was always this thin line between his eyebrows when he got worried about something. Now it was because of Eijun and he felt bad for causing it, but Haruichi gave him a soft smile and went to the kitchen.
He came back after a few minutes, holding two cups, yellow and pink. It smelled like coffee, a strong one at that. Eijun took the yellow cup, mouthing “Thank you”. He took a sip, it was bitter as hell, pure black he concluded. He usually went for sweet coffee, often mixed with something else, but on days like these only black helped.
Haruichi sat next to him, blowing at his coffee. He took the sketchbook, inspecting the drawing Eijun had started, before he smirked. He flipped a few pages, his smile getting wider. Eijun frowned at his friend’s expression. So what if half of the sketchbook was filled with the sketches of the glasses guy? He was only a good subject to draw.
His pink haired friend chuckled, flipping the page.
Who is he?
Idk, someone i see in theater
You sure? Your last 5 sketches are of him and there are a lot more i bet
He is a good subject, ok?
Of course Haruichi gave him that look that said - Are you kidding me - , but it was true. The glasses guy was a really good subject to draw. These days he drew him often. Be it the way his lips curled into a smirk, the way his hair fell over the eyes, or the way he moved around the stage. He had something that attracted Eijun. Passion, he thought. That's it.
The glasses guy acted with passion and devotion. Every emotion was clear on his face, showed with such intensity. And Eijun loved it.
Haruichi was still looking at him, so Eijun hid behind the cup, taking slow sips. What was he trying to prove? That he had a crush? That was stupid. He looked round the room, avoiding his friend’s eyes. His gaze fell on the clock and Eijun almost burned himself with the coffee in a haste to get up. It was 7:37am and he was going to be late.
Haruichi got him the bag while Eijun struggled to get into his skinny jeans. The only pair of jeans that was clean and they were clean because he didn't wear them often. Or at all, except when he went clubbing. He needed to show off his ass sometimes.
Will you survive today? You didn't get much sleep. Haruichi scribbled. Or at all, Eijun thought, but he only nodded. This was nothing, he was used to it. With a wave he exited the apartment and ran towards the art building.
His apartment and the art building were only 5min from each other and he thanked heavens for that. More like thanked Kuramochi, he wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for him.
Before moving in with Haruichi, Eijun lived in the dorm building. He had two more roommates who were ok. At least they looked like that. On the beginning everything was okay, but soon they started acting out. Teasing him about his deafness, making fun of him in front of others. They told him it’s a bother to communicate through writing so they just stopped talking to him. Like that wasn't enough, they would often throw him out of the room.
He spent lot’s of sleepless night because of them, blaming himself for not fitting in and being normal.
After almost collapsing from lack of sleep, Kuramochi confronted him about it. At the time he only knew Kuramochi for a month, but the older boy was already like a brother to him.
He helped when he could, always talked in sign to Eijun and protected him. So when he said he knew a person who needed a roommate Eijun accepted.
Haruichi was probably the sweetest person he met. They clicked right away and Eijun was really glad that he made a new friend. The shorter boy wasn’t bothered about having to write a lot, he even asked Eijun to teach him a few signs.
Eijun trudged towards his art history classroom, he still had 2 minutes to spare, trying not to trip over anything. The coffee still hasn’t kicked in. Luck wasn’t really on his side, because he actually did trip. He waited to hit the ground, but it never came. Instead, there was a hard tug on his wrist and he was standing again. He looked up and saw Kuramochi’s face.
Thanks Kuramochi-senpai. He signed.
No problem. What got you so distracted?
I didn’t sleep much.
Immediately there was a frown on Kuramochi’s face. He hit Eijun on the head, lightly. Idiot.
Eijun rubbed his head, pouting at Kuramochi. Why did he always had to show love and concern in a rough way?
They went into the classroom, sitting at the far back. They were fine with these places, Kuramochi because he didn’t give a fuck, Eijun because he couldn’t hear or understand the professor even if he sat in the first row. The guy almost whispered when he talked (from what Kuramochi told him) and his lips almost didn’t move. Only first rows payed attention, everybody else just chilled for an hour.
See, people only came so they could get credit for attending, get the lowest possible mark on the exam and pass. No one cared. That's why Kuramochi skipped it in first year, but had to attend anyway in second. He almost cried when they told him.
It wasn’t so much about the class, it was more about the professor. Learning about all the different types of art was fun sometimes, but not when your professor is this apathetic.
Eijun pulled up his notebook and a pen, like he always did, so he could scribble. Sitting for an hour and doing nothing wasn’t interesting.
He was checking his phone when he felt a tap on his shoulder.
Miyuki asked about you. The older boy signed, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips.
Eijun scrunched up his eyebrows, trying to remember the name. He didn't know any Miyuki so he gave Kuramochi a puzzled look, shrugging his shoulders.
The glasses guy you like to draw. Kuramochi offered as an explanation, smirking wider.
Oh, ooooh. In a second Eijun’s face became pink. How did Kuramochi know that? Did Haruichi told him?
So what does he want? He signed acting nonchalant.
Probably to get into your pants. Eijun stared at him, mouth open, completely flustered. To say he was surprised would be an understatement.
I am joking, you idiot.
Eijun gave him a dirty look in return. He had the worst friends.
He was probably curious since you always go to the theater.
Kuramochi was right. He did spend an awful lot time there, but it’s not like he only drew the glasses guy. Well Miyuki guy since he had a name to the face now. He went there to practice drawing. People on stage were always moving and that was convenient. He could draw lot’s of people in different positions. It just happened that Miyuki caught his eye… In a completely artistic sense. Yeah, that’s right.
Eijun decided to ignore Kuramochi for the rest of the hour and pretend he is paying attention to the class.
Half an hour later and Eijun wanted to strangle himself. It was so boring, he wasn't in the mood to draw and Kuramochi had fallen asleep. Furuya wasn't answering his texts, Haruichi said he needs to pay attention in his class, and all his other friends were probably asleep.
He checked the clock again, 20 more minutes.
His thoughts went to the earlier conversation he had with Kuramochi. The theater guy was interested in him. But like what if he wasn’t just curious? It wasn’t impossible to think so. Eijun wasn’t bad looking. People had confessed to him before. Or he should just stop fantasizing about the pretty boy. Probably…
That didn’t work out well, because later Eijun found himself in the theater again, blatantly staring at Miyuki. He would drag a line here and there, but he was mostly just staring. It could also be from the lack of sleep, brain and eyes not working together.
He snapped back from his dazed state when he realized that Miyuki caught his gaze. In that second he knew he was done for. He felt heat rush to his cheeks, but then Miyuki waved and Eijun combusted. He shakily waved back, wishing earth would swallow him. He continued to draw, this time for real, lifting his head only occasionally. He really didn't want to meet his eyes again. Enough shame for one day.
But it didn’t stop after one day. Miyuki regularly started to wave, when he saw him in the theatre, and smiled, Eijun did the same. Somehow they got into a routine and Eijun liked it. It was fun.
After some time he noticed Miyuki’s eyes would sometimes linger a little longer than usual. That little turned into more. He would catch Miyuki staring at him during breaks. He would see him outside the theater and Miyuki would hold his gaze. It was all subtle and completely normal, but Eijun’s heart would always beat a little faster when it happened.
Haruichi said he had a crush. That he had a crush since he first drew him. That was an absolute lie and he told so Haruichi, but then Furuya pulled out his old sketchbooks filled with Miyuki (he got a new one 3 days ago). So what if he had almost one full sketchbook of Miyuki? He was a good subject.
He had nice features. Pretty eyes (that Eijun didn’t imagine without glasses, absolutely not), nice body… his butt was especially nice. And he only noticed it when Miyuki bent over to get something, only then. He liked when Miyuki wore skinny jeans because then his legs would look even longer and they hugged him in all the right places. He even had a favourite pair, black ripped ones.
Kuramochi threatened him on a daily basis that he will show Miyuki the sketchbook if he doesn’t behave (since it only took 2 days for new sketchbook to get filled with Miyuki). Eijun became extra good towards him and made sure not to get him angry. He even brought him morning coffee.
But Kuramochi got hit often by Miyuki, so he kinda enjoyed it. Karma or something.
Eijun officially met Miyuki in a pretty awkward and embarrassing way. He wanted to forget about it, yet again he also kinda liked it.
It was again one of those days when Eijun went without sleep. He was tired all day and the cold weather didn’t help. With each drop of rain he was closer to sleep,yet he had classes to attend. He only wanted to go home, wrap himself in a blanket and sleep or read. Maybe both.
But as the day passed, and he got 3 coffees, he felt awake. He was tired, but not sleepy anymore. So going by that, he decided to stop by the theater like he usually did. He picked his usual seat, but instead of pulling a paper and pen he decided to watch for a while. Miyuki wasn’t there, but Kuramochi was and he was doing something around the scene. Eijun decided not to disturb him and just relax.
He leaned into the seat, closing his eyes and enjoying the warmth. It was a bad idea to only wear a hoodie, but he was late again and didn’t bother searching for a jacket. It was warm in the theater, even warmer than in his classroom. It felt so good and Eijun felt so tired.
He was warm, there was something soft on his face and it felt nice. Eijun snuggled further into the warmth. His back felt uncomfortable and he didn't feel his left hand, but just a few more minutes of this. He would move after that.
There was something on his hair, moving slowly. A hand, he realised. It was big, warm and it felt great. Only his mother used to play with his hair and pet his head. It's been awhile since she last did it, maybe before he started high school. He really missed it, but he could never admit that to her. He was an adult now, or something, because Eijun still felt like a child.
A few more minutes passed before the softness around his cheek started to move. Move? Why was it moving?
Eijun finally opened his eyes. He was met with a face only few centimeters from his own. In this moment Eijun should have screamed or freaked out, yet he did not. His cheeks got redder than tomatoes because the face belonged to Miyuki. Miyuki with his long lashes, chocolate eyes and pink lips. The same Miyuki he drew, the one that smiled at him, the one he had a crush on (yes, he did admit it to himself after a 2 hour long teasing from his friends. Also, Furuya would hit him with his Miyuki sketchbook every time he denied it)
Miyuki was looking at him, eyes soft and pleased, cheeks getting color. He turned his head to the side, body slightly trembling. Eijun guessed he fake coughed, people tend to do that a lot.
Eijun finally took in his surroundings. He was lying on Miyuki's shoulder, the softness came from his hoodie. How could a single hoodie be so soft? Never mind that, his shoulder! Also, it smelled so good, like lavender and coffee.
There was also something on him that was making him warm. When he looked down he saw a black leather jacket. That was also Miyuki’s he assumed. He stayed like that for a moment before the reality hit him. He just slept on Miyuki. The same Miyuki that was in his sketchbook. The one he looked at a bit too much. Why did his brain have to fail him in the most crucial moments?
He was literally millimeters from his face just seconds ago, yet he didn’t register he was sleeping on him. Stupid Eijun, stupid slow brain.
He scrambled to remove himself from Miyuki as quickly as possible. He practically threw the jacket on him, moving on the other side of the small seat. He really couldn't believe that just happened.
He hid behind his hands, trying to calm down. His heart was beating way too fast.
When he dared to look at Miyuki again, peeping behind his fingers, he looked hurt. Lips set in a frown, eyebrows scrunched.
He fucked up. Miyuki was mad and any minute now he will leave because Eijun is not saying anything and everything was going to hell.
Was he mad because Eijun slept on him? Well, it couldn’t really be that, right? He even covered him with a jacket to make him warm. Whatever it was, Eijun couldn't allow it to go like that. He would fix it.
Eijun pulled up his phone, typing quickly. When he was done, he passed it up to Miyuki.
He watched as the other boy read, his face becoming soft and a smile beginning to form. He taped up something before returning the phone.
Under Eijun’s paragraph of apologizes for falling asleep on him and acting as if he had seen a ghost, was Miyuki's short message, joined by a teasing smile:
You drool in your sleep.
Eijun grasped his phone tight, embarrassment flooding him. Then, he remembered he never drools in his sleep and Miyuki's hoodie is perfectly dry. That jackass.
He scoffed looking at Miyuki, who started to laugh and say something. Eijun wasn't pro at lip reading, not at all, but he knew enough to see that Miyuki just called him cute.
I am not cute!!!!!
He showed the screen in Miyuki's face. The bastard just continued to laugh.
Later when they both calmed down and Miyuki apologized for teasing him, they actually had a nice talk. They talked about everything and nothing. Eijun even promised to show him his sketchbook next time. He said next time because the one he had now was filled with Miyuki and Miyuki didn’t need to know he is a creep.
On top of that, Miyuki was completely fine with typing everything on the phone. They passed Eijun’s back and forth, until they got closer, looking together at the screen.
They sat like that for an hour, until a text from Haruichi interrupted them, asking what should he make for dinner. He was currently at the grocery store, so he could buy stuff for whatever Eijun picked. Eijun almost drooled reading the message. Haruichi’s food was heaven.
He said goodbye to Miyuki with a promise they will talk more and phone number. On the way to the apartment he texted Haruichi about dinner (Whatever you want, but needs to have meat!) and his encounter with Miyuki.
- It was nice talking to him. Well, writing. I suppose Kuramochi told him I am deaf, but he didn't bring it up. He didn't ask me anything about it.
Harucchi, it felt so nice. For the first time in forever i didn't have to explain myself or my deafness. He gladly wrote back and asked me random questions.
I felt normal again.
- Fool, you are normal
- I know just….
- I know Eijun, i know.
That night Haruichi found Eijun on their couch, face in pillows, emitting inhuman noises. After a little bit of pushing, and nagging Eijun finally decided to talk.
“I didn't tell you! Even i forgot, but I remembered now. Miyuki petted my head while I was sleeping, it felt so fucking nice, god help me!”
That managed to bring another thought on his mind - why was Miyuki there in the first place? He was sure the guy wasn’t there when he fell asleep.
The next day Eijun sat on his bad staring blankly at the wall. He could still feel Miyuki’s large hand on his head, his body heat, the color of his lips. They looked really soft and plump. He wondered what would they feel like.
A body landed next him, interrupting his train of thought. It was Haruichi, with a knowing smile on his face.
“Thinking about Miyuki?” the other boy just hummed in response. “What about him?”
“Okay,” Eijun sighed and pulled up his phone.
All you need to know is that I might have fallen in love with Miyuki.
“Oh.” Was all Haruichi said, nothing more.
That’s it? That’s your reaction?
“I thought you realized that after the 2nd sketckbook filled with Miyuki.”
Well I didn’t. I realized last night when I was talking with him
“So do you plan to do something?”
Of course! I just need some courage
____
Kuramochi was already in their room, sitting on the floor with laptop and notes all around, when Miyuki came back. He flung his bag across the room, not caring where it landed, and fell on his bed. He stared at the ceiling as earlier events played in his head. He was now friends with Sawamura. He petted his hair. It was so soft and silky. Sawamura looked pretty while sleeping… but back to the point. He was friends with Sawamura. He did give him his number, so it had to mean they are friends. Right? There was something more between them now, expect awkward waves. Right?
Miyuki pulled out his phone to make sure he had the number. And there it was, right under Ryou’s name. It wasn't a dream, he had his number. He could text him anytime, tell him to meet up and hundreds of other things. He got his number.
“I got his number.”
“Whose?” Kuramochi asked eyes still on the notes and books in front of him. Miyuki blushed a bit, but couldn’t hide his expression.
“I have Sawamura’s number.”
“Wow. How did that happen? I mean with your non existent social skills.” Kuramochi’s work was forgotten as he lifted his whole body to take a good look at his friend.
“I don't know. Well, I do. Just.” Miyuki took a deep breath “ He kinda fell asleep on me.”
Kuramochi raised his eyebrows, shock painted on his face. “He fell asleep on you? How the hell did that happened?”
“He didn't literally fall asleep on me. When I saw him after I finished my practice, he was already asleep and since he was only wearing a hoodie, I covered him with my jacket. I had to go over the lines again so I just sat next to him. I don't know how, but a few minutes later his head was on my shoulder.”
Miyuki rolled around in bed. “His hair is so soft.” Kuramochi gave him the look, the one that said that -You are in so deep, I can't even see you anymore -.
“It was right under my nose - I just had to touch it, you know.” Kuramochi didn’t know. “So I just, kinda petted him and he seemed to like it, so I just kinda continued doing it for a while.”
He got another look from his friend, this one was more along the lines of -That’s creepy. Dude, are you nuts? Is it time to call mental hospital?-
“When he woke up he, uuh… freaked out a bit.” Miyuki decided not to tell he also freaked out.”But we started talking and time passed and he ended up giving me his number. So, we are friends now... I think.”
Kuramochi was quiet for a while before he started chuckling. “That's straight out of a drama. So romantic.” Miyuki threw a pillow at him “Now for real. If you have his number feel privileged. He doesn't give his number that easily. I had to wait 2 weeks for it.” Miyuki’s face became smug.
“I am gonna kill you,” Kuramochi lunged towards Miyuki, but suddenly stopped, “Oh my god, you are in love with him!”
“Wha.a..at?” Miyuki sputtered. “I am not.”
“You so are. I thought it was only a crush, but your face says it all. Shit, it took me a few minutes to process your words and you.”
“What about me?” His voice got higher. What did he do?
“I thought I was seeing things, but my suspicions were right. Like when you first asked me about Eijun, and second time and Eijun being weird. Wow, Ryou was right, Haruichi too.”
“What about Eijun?” Miyuki added, (what about Ryou and Haruichi?) but Kuramochi ignored him and just continued to ramble.
“You never take interest in people. Hell you wouldn’t even talk to me if I didn’t start it first. So of course it was weird when you asked about Eijun. Then you asked about sign language and there was this look in your eyes I can’t explain.”
Miyuki was just listening it all, trying to comprehend it. He was in love? No, no, no, he had a crush. A crush! He wasn’t in love...not yet… Did he went from crush to love without noticing it? He was sure he had a firm grip on his feelings and in understanding them.
He liked Eijun that was sure, he had a crush on him. But love? No, that wasn’t possible.
Love was you felt butterflies when you see the person you love, when your knees get weak in their presence, when you think about them 24/7. Miyuki didn't do that. Love was awkward and strange.
He felt warm every time their eyes met, he felt happy when Eijun smiled, his day got brighter just by seeing him. Was that love? His version of love?
“...why would you pet a stranger's hair. Ok, not really a stranger, but know what I mean.” Kuramochi was drawling on, Miyuki tuning in sometimes still lost in his thoughts. “So, I conclude you are in love.”
“Huh?”
“You didn’t hear what I said at all?”
“I am sorry! I just had an existential crisis.”
Kuramochi started laughing, finding his inner turmoil very funny. Great, perfect, fantastic.
“I hope you actually do something about it. I am even giving you my blessing, but you hurt him I hurt you.”
“Yeah, yeah…”
Kuramochi left him alone after that, going back to his homework. Miyuki stared at the ceiling thinking about love and Eijun.
Love, what a funny feeling. It comes in all forms, yet the romantic one is the hardest to recognize. They didn’t speak a word until tonight and yet Miyuki was already in love. He would call it love on first sight, but it really wasn’t. It was just gradually. His presence, his smile, his eyes, his love for drawing. The awkward first encounter, his blushing face, later his waves.
All the little things over time just piled up until simple crush turned into love.
Ah, when did he became capable for such deep thinking and feelings. How could one person change his whole world?
2 days later, Miyuki got his first message from Sawamura. His previous thoughts about love and being in love were currently pushed to the side. First become friends with him then aim more...Or don’t aim at all.
- Heeeeeelp i am gonna die. It's so boring, Kuramochi fell asleep, currently drooling over his notes.
- LOL, that's the mochi i know
- What do you have
- Art history
- I drew, played games on my phone, stared at the ceiling, i am running out of things to do
- So you decided to text to me as your last option
- I am wounded
- Hey!
- So what are you doing
- In bed, woke up like 10min ago. No morning classes today
- Oh in bed...that's suggestive
- Omg! You idiot.
- I didn't know i was friends with a pervert
- And there is a lot of stuff you don't know about me
They continued texting, just some random things, for the next half an hour. Then, Eijun asked him to get coffee or breakfast. Miyuki gladly accepted before he realized he was still in bed, in his pajamas, looking terrible. He also had less than 5 minutes before the other’s class finished and they had to meet. Perfect.
It was good that he managed to master the art of quick dressing up (first month of college taught him many things, this was one of them) or he would end up being very late.
15min later and Miyuki was walking down the street. More like running because he didn't want Eijun to wait long.
The cafe they decided on was right next to the art building. It was a small, cute looking place, with pastel blue colored door and flowers around it. There were few tables in front of it and every chair was in a different pastel color. On the walls inside were hung some art pieces right next to a few book shelves, filled with different in size and color, art books. Under them in a small cupboard were even 3 types paper (probably the most used ones) and handmade cups, filled with ink pens and pencils. The place was a real artist's’ lair.
When he finally spotted Eijun in a corner next to the widow, the boy was reading a book. He had this adorable pout and scrunched eyebrows. The hoodie he was wearing was probably two size bigger, since he drowned in it. The sleeves went over his wrist, covering most of his hand, only a bit of fingers peeking out as he held the book. Miyuki almost cooed at the sight.
He took a seat opposite of EIjun and just looked him for few more moments, before reaching to wave a bit in front of his face. When Eijun noticed him, he mouthed a “Hello!”, giving him a warm smile.
Miyuki pointed towards the counter, which referred to “I will go get drinks”. The younger boy nodded, flashing him his order on the screen.
Strawberries & Creme Frappuccino
Miyuki cocked an eyebrow and Eijun just shrugged.
Waaat? I like sweet things
I will stick to my americano
When Miyuki returned with their drinks, Eijun wasn't holding his book anymore, but a notebook and a pen.
He passed the drink and watched as Eijun took a long sip, exhaling in delight. How could he drink such an awfully sweet thing?
He picked up the pen and wrote:
Did Mochi die in class?
Eijun started laughing his quite unique laughter making Miyuki smile. It was a little loud and scratchy, but cute.
He fell from a seat when a girl next to him dropped a book. I guess it was loud, so it woke him up. It was a good sight.
Miyuki could just imagine it. Distressed Kuramochi who just woke up from a sleep.
They went back and forth, filling up almost 3 pages, when Miyuki heard a funny sound. It came again after a few minutes. He looked around, but couldn’t find a source. When he heard it for the 3rd time, he realised it was coming from Eijun.
Your stomach is pretty loud.
Eijun went red, both hands around his middle.
It’s ok, we came for breakfast anyway. What do you want?
At this Eijun grabbed the pen writing fast.
I am paying so sit here and wait!
He bolted out of the chair, going towards the counter.
Miyuki wanted to say that it was ok that he could do it again, but stopped in his tracks. He realized where his thoughts went and why. He was afraid Eijun wouldn't be able to communicate right because of his deafness. For a split second Miyuki forgot Eijun was a grown adult, who lived his life as a deaf person for a while now. A person who could take care of himself and order god damn food.
A few minutes later Eijun got back with their food, chicken and ham sandwiches. Eijun clapped his hands and immediately jumped on the food. Miyuki didn't move, just watched him for a few seconds. He was really stupid, thinking that Eijun wasn’t a capable adult. He had to fix that part of his thinking.
With every bite Eijun would make this little noises of pleasure, like he never tasted anything better. It was really cute. Anything Eijun did was cute. His whole existence was cute. Yup, Miyuki was going mental over the younger boy.
They finished their food fast, Eijun inhaling everything at a record speed.
When does your class start?
Miyuki looked at the watch, it was almost 10, he had another hour to spare.
11
Wanna go for a walk?
Miyuki thought about it a little, he could accept. That meant spending more time with Eijun and he really wanted that.
Sure
Walking in silence with someone was a strange thing. It didn’t happen often and when it did, it was awkward. But here with Eijun, it was comfortable.
Being close to him, stealing little glances, their hands brushing. Yeah, it was nice. Silence with Eijun was nice.
They ended up at a park not far from the campus. The weather got a bit warmer these last 3 days, so there were a lot of kids running around, playing.
The sight must have made Eijun happy because he turned to Miyuki smiling widely. In the next moment he tugged Miyuki, making him run to the nearest bench.
But the time they got there, Miyuki was already panting. Too much running for one day.
“We...didn’t... have to run.” he wheezed. “Ah, I have zero stamina.”
He looked up to see Eijun giving him a questioning look. Ha, he didn't hear him. Miyuki scrambled to pull out his phone, but Eijun stopped him.
He tapped on his lips and motioned towards Miyuki.
“Huh? Lips...Ah, you can read lips?” Eijun gave him a thumbs up. “Oh, that’s cool.”
The younger boy nodded. He pulled out his phone and showed it to Miyuki.
I can read lips a little, but you need to be slow and look at me. I also might mess up words. Like i said i am not so good.
“No problem.” Miyuki gave him a small smile.
“Can I see your drawings?” Miyuki asked after they got comfortable on the bench.
Eijun perked up at that, his eyes shining. He took off his bag placing it in his lap and pulled out his sketchbook quickly. It was quite thick, with smudges from pencil all around.
Eijun started from page one. A drawing of a cute puppy, next was a cat, few sketches of Haruichi. Hands, very pretty hands at that. Then, he found himself on a few pages. Eijun blushed at that, Miyuki felt flattered.
As he was getting near end his face showed up more and more. Sometimes it was just a simple sketch of his body, other times a detailed face appeared.
Miyuki started to get red too.
You are a very good model…Eijun wrote, averting his eyes.
Miyuki just nodded.
“Would you draw a person you like?” Miyuki later asked, while watching TV with Kuramochi.
“Probably. I mean their face would be on my mind a lot so I would end up drawing it.”
“Aha.”
“Why do you ask?”
“Eijun showed me his sketchbook. I am there...a lot, but he said it’s because I am a good model.”
“And you believe in that bullshit?”
“Nope. Not really.” They both a shared laugh at that.
It was nice knowing Eijun might like him, but that didn’t mean he planned to do something about it. Naw, Miyuki was a coward with zero romance experience. He was shit at feelings and there was a bigger chance of him insulting Eijun than asking him on a date. Today was a good example, even tho he only wanted well. So, no thanks, he will suffer in peace.
But god didn't want to leave him in peace, so he had to deal with Eijun 3-4 times a week. And by that, it means he went on breakfast, dinner or coffee with him, depending when they were free. Eijun still came to theatre, but they couldn't talk much with Miyuki practicing for his part.
So yeah, being on the receiving end of Eijun’s smile that often had bad effect on him. But the good point was, Miyuki was learning something new. They get to know each other better and become actual friends. Eijun taught him some words in signs, which was pretty cool. Now he could sign hello to Eijun, spell his and Eijun’s name, also say thanks, yes, no, bye. Eijun had been so happy when Miyuki asked him about sign language.
His eyes sparkled and crinkled at the sides when he laughed. It was a beautiful sight.
So yeah it was totally worth the suffering. Except it wasn’t, not really. The more he hanged out with Eijun, the more he craved him. Hours without Eijun were boring, they didn't even had to do anything he just wanted to be close to the younger boy.
There were a lot of times when Eijun would be too tired to write and they just watched movie snuggled up together. Or sit in silence while doing homework, or while Eijun drew and Miyuki read a book. It was comfortable. Not every silence had to be filled with words.
So after realizing long ago that his emotions were love, Miyuki decided to finally get over himself and ask Eijun on a date. He was sure Eijun would flat out say yes, judging by the amount of papers filled with his face. (he wasn’t only a good model, that was sure)
But Miyuki wanted to woo him. Impres him a bit, show him he can actually be someone's boyfriend.
He had a plan, a new simple one if he can say. Learn a few phrases in sign language for Eijun. Nothing big, just enough to compliment him, maybe flirt a little.
Okay perhaps Miyuki has just fallen so deep he would do anything for Eijun’s attention.
Miyuki knew it was a bad idea to ask Kuramochi, but hey he was his best friend. What could go wrong? Apparently a lot of things, since Eijun was now laughing like an idiot. When he stopped, he gave Miyuki a wave and exited the theatre still snickering. What did he say? Well sign. He was pretty sure he told Eijun “Your eyes are pretty.”, because they really were. They were big and brown, with specks of gold in them, and when sunlight hit them they would sparkle. Ok maybe not sparkle, but they did have a special shine to them. And Miyuki loved them.
So, he asked Kuramochi for advice on sign language. Just a simple phrase. Kuramochi smirked, showing him the next minute how to do it. It was pretty easy. A few hours later when he saw Eijun, Miyuki repeated the gesture only to get a laughing Eijun. He was sure he didn't mess up, so why was Eijun laughing so hard?
This happened a few more times after that and every single time Eijun laughed. Once he laughed so much fell out of his chair. Frankly Miyuki had it enough. He was doing something wrong or Eijun was just being rude.
A week later instead of saying something in signs, he sat beside him slipping him a paper note. Eijun’s eyes went over it quickly and he started to giggle. Damn it was such a pretty sound. Like little bells ringing, but back to the note.
Why do you laugh every time I sign you something? Am I bad at it? I am pretty sure I repeat the same moves Kuramochi shows me, so I can’t be that wrong.
Eijun turned over a page in his sketchbook and wrote a line before sliding it to Miyuki. Do you know what you sign to me?
Yeah. I ask him for normal things. Like: Your eyes are pretty or you have a nice smile. Miyuki shifted his eyes from the paper to Eijun, only to find the boy blushing a pretty pink. That in return made Miyuki blush, but he kept writing. How was your day? Can I see your new drawings? Stuff like that.
The boy scanned the paper nodding his head. He picked up the pencil from Miyuki, their fingers brushing. It made Miyuki feel sorta giddy.
All of them were wrong. The first one said - You have a nice ass
Of course Miyuki choked on his spit, coughing like a dying animal. He is gonna kill Kuramochi when he sees him.
Second one said - I want to fuck you. Then i am not sure about them in an order, but it went something like - Please fuck him. He always talks about you. Did you know he is pretty big?
At this point Miyuki was red like a tomato, wanting earth to swallow him. He whined and Miyuki never whines, and that says something. So yeah, 100% sure he is killing Kuramochi. Maybe he should just bury him alive.
He didn't realise that the whole time while he was having plotting murder, he ended up staring at Eijun. Even tho his eyes were looking, his brain wasn’t actually registering it. When he finally blinked and escaped his thoughts, he was met with a very red Eijun. Their eyes met, in a moment Miyuki could see traces of gold dancing around, before Eijun closed his eyes and turned his head to the side.
Miyuki coughed awkwardly, also looking to the side. He didn’t know what's worse - the fact that Kuramochi ruined his chances with Eijun, or the fact that he just crushed the little hope that was left staring like a creep.
The silence stretched for a few minutes, but then he heard pencil scratching a paper and suddenly the sketchbook was showed into his face.
Wanna grab coffee sometime?
He was greeted with a smiling Eijun, biting his bottom lip nervously. He looked adorable. They went on hundreds of coffees until then, but this one was special. This one held promise of something more.
Miyuki moved before his brain could catch up and kissed Eijun’s cheek as a response.
For a record - Miyuki only drinks black coffee and hates sweets. But Miyuki got something Eijun recommended, he doesn't remember the name of it, or the taste. He only remembers Eijun’s laugh, his doodles, the way his eyes shined when took a sip of his favourite drink, and the way his lips felt when they pressed against Miyuki’s.