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The streetlamps were dim now, the bar long cleared out; any stragglers sent home, or at least somewhere else. Still the scene played on repeat in his mind. She’d been so angry at him. It was clear in her words, in her eyes.
Now, as Devo brought his mouth down, a different emotion settled in.
Amber swore as Devo licked into her: harsh words, but she made them sound sweet like the taste of her, complicated and rich on his tongue. He wasn’t sure how to breathe like this, what to do with his hands. He had no idea what he was doing—not like Amber, who could throw herself head first into anything and somehow still hit the ground running—but he could guess by the sounds she made that it must have felt good. Her breathing was colored with effort, and her whole face had gone tight.
There was no love for him there. Not after what he had done. JV shit, she would call it—and she’d be right. He’d gone and fucked it all up again. Couldn’t keep his mouth shut, could he. Couldn’t keep his head down and play nice. Of course not: once the anger rose up in his throat, cruel and all-corroding, there was no way of making it stop. Devo burrowed deeper; tried to feel some of her warmth and her weight.
He wondered what she was thinking about, because she was surely not thinking of him. Nothing great about having a history, she’d probably remind him. It still sounded nicer than stumbling around in the dark.
At last Amber pushed him away to paw at herself for a moment. Devo watched her work in swift circles, bringing her over the edge and into that private dimension where he could never follow. He watched as her features crumpled, then went soft and slack.
Her other hand was still on his forehead. Her fingers were damp with sweat. He was certain she’d kick him out, once she’d come to her senses; but for now Amber smiled, and threaded her thumb through his hair. If he didn’t know better, he’d think she looked proud.
Not bad, kid, she might say when she’d caught her breath, and he’d bristle and tell her he wasn’t a kid and start it all up again—but he couldn’t think about that.
He couldn’t let himself ruin this, too.