Archive of Our Own

It's been two years since Naruto handed back Sasuke's forehead protector to him, and it's been two months since Sakura started preassuring him into dating Hinata.

She's nice, she looks like an angel sitting in front of him under the faint light of the moon trough the window. Her dark hair mesmerizing with beautiful eyes that hold a strong power within them.

Naruto is still forcing himself to smile.

He can't deny Hinata is amazing but she is not at all what he is looking for; where she's gentle and patient, he wants stuborness; where she is soft, he wants sharp; even though she's beautiful, he is looking for another type of beauty.

And oh, how wrong it feels to be here when in the valley of the end he nearly died alongside Sasuke.

Maybe if this was a normal hangout, he would've felt better, but it isn't. They're on a restaurant in the most reserved area, "Only for the hero" the waiter had said, eating food he normally wouldn't think of eating and the knowledge of having picked up Hinata with flowers at Ino insistence.

It's a date.

A date he only agreed on after Sakura got tired of asking him to take her out and directly booked a reservation, "You have to go" she informed him that afternoon.

A date he did not want and he's sure Hinata knows, but she's polite enough to ignore it.

"I'm glad you like your food!" He says poiting at her plate "I think they put too much spice in mine" Hinata chuckles.

"Maybe you could call the waiter to change it" Is Naruto going to pretend that he was not waiting for "Don't be picky, just eat" in a much different voice? Yes.

"Nah, I think it's fine"

"If you say so"

A thick silence settles between them making the sound of the cutlery louder in their ears. Naruto tries to fill it every so often but the truth is, they never had much in common to begin with.

The dinner ends and Naruto is the one who pays, it's a blessing that the restaurant is giving them a discount because if he had to pay the real price, it would've genuinely hurt his soul.

As they walk outside Hinata offers "You don't have to walk me home" It vaguely reminds him of when he told Sakura that Hinata didn't need him to do that.

She continues at his lack of answer "You're place is closer than my home"

"Won't your dad expect me to do it?" When he picked her up, her dad was on the entrance with her and told him "Take care of her" He guesses this is the kind of thing he should do.

"Don't worry about him" She dismisses "I had a great time, don't you think?"

"Yeah, the food was great. Though my wallet would like a cheaper place"

Hinata blushes in embarrassment "Sorry, Naruto. If I had known, we could have gone somewhere else" She is playing with her hair clearly feeling ashamed.

"No! It's alright" He tries to calm her down "Sakura reserved the place, not you. Don't need to worry" She gives him a shy smile.

"Thanks for today, Naruto"

"It's nothing"

They part ways a few minutes after they started walking and Naruto in his mind can't stop thinking about how wrong this is.

It's not fair.

"Sooo, how did it go?" Sakura asks playfully.

A few days later, he encountered Sakura while he was getting groceries.

"It was great. But too expensive" He gives an awkward laugh "Man, It hurt me" Sakura waves her hand.

"You better get use to it! Having a girlfriend is expensive" She laughs. Naruto doesn't.

"I think you're getting too far ahead" He picks up tomato sauce from the shelf, he doesn't know how he would use it. Maybe a cooking book would come handy.

"It's only a matter of time" She says picking stuff from another shelf "She told me she had fun" Sakura eyed him expectantly, he knew what she meant.

"I'm glad but uh..." I don't really want another date "We never talked about seeing each other again"

"Are you kidding me?" Sakura looks personally offended.

"No?"

She sighs "Naruto! Hinata had hoped she would see you again" That was not the impression he got from her.

"Are you sure you're not making this up?"

"She likes you! She obviously wants to see you!"

Right, because Hinata likes him he has to indulge her even if she knows he's only doing this for her sake.

"I know but..." Sakura stares at him waiting for an answer. I don't. It's easy to say in his mind. Hinata had always liked him, even when the village hated him and didn't have accomplishments at his name. It's not like he owes her anything but he can try. "I'll talk to her"

Sakura smiles and he can't really blame her, he is not being honest nor putting a stop in what she's doing.

Days turned into weeks, and weeks tuned into months. There wasn't a day where he didn't saw Hinata.

And he wouldn't think much of it if it wasn't for the rumors about them getting married.

It gets to a point where Naruto can't go to get groceries or go to Ichiraku's without hearing someone talk about when is he going to propose, or jewelry shop owners trying to coax him in with "special discounts".

Of course, everyone around them was happy.

But Naruto still couldn't stop to think about the mess it was going to be when Sasuke got back from his mission.

He was pulled back to reality when Hinata grabbed his hand and leaned closer. She was becoming more bold, by her standars, around him giving how much time they had spent together.

Her touch was sweet but Naruto was itching to retrieve his hand like it burned him. The more she leaned, Naruto realized that he had to back off before something else happened.

Naruto's breath hitched as he saw Hinata closing her eyes and brushing off the distance between them. He felt himself getting heavier like he could really sink in the couch of his living room.

Naruto turned his head making her stop.

By the look on her eyes, she already knows this means rejection.

Naruto remembers when he said to himself that he was going to try and he trully did, he spent around four months having going for walks with her, having dinner, hanging out in his apartment while one of them made something to eat. It genuinely made Naruto think that it was working.

But that was only if he ignored how everytime she grabbed his hand Naruto wanted to pulled it away, everytime they hugged and he buried his face on her dark hair he closed his eyes and imagined it was shorter, how when he saw Hinata using her Byakugan he sometimes wondered if they could turn red.

Once, Hinata got comfortable enough to tease him and make a joke at his expense. He had to bit his lip before he could say Sasuke's name.

How could she, with a great ocular power, not had seen that?

Maybe it was easier to ignore if he didn't voice any of his concerns. But now, with only one action, is forcing Hinata to acknowledge that she is not the right shade of purple that Naruto was looking for.

"I'm sorry" He says to her hoping she won't hate him for wasting her time like this.

She gives him a smile. "It's okay"

Naruto hugs her, but for once, he doesn't think of Sasuke when he does, because he is no longer searching for his touch. Now, he thinks of Hinata, because she is a friend who needs someone to comfort her about a broken heart.

He hears Hinata sob in his shoulder.

Knowing beforehand doesn't make the heartbreak easier.

At least an hour later, they're in the kitchen, both avoiding to look at the couch where they finally where honest.

She's heating up water while Naruto is looking for something in his frigde to eat. He finds the tomato sauce he never stop buying every time he went to the store.

"Want to make pasta?" He asks Hinata.

"Okay" She easily says like nothing changed.

Hinata and he had stopped hanging out so often and now it's just a regular amount for what they are. Friends.

Friends that currently are getting questioned about when are they going to get married by their other friends.

They're both laughing and going along with the joke even if they never properly dated nor are dating now.

He uses the brief moment where everyone's talking between them to grab Hinata and leave the restaurant. He ignores the grin in Sakura and Ino's face.

Once outside, "They're so excited and for what?" Naruto complains.

"We never told them about, you know" She says pointing between them.

"Do you want to?"

Hinata looks hesitant. Everything is too recent, Naruto was barely able to admit to Hinata he didn't want to date her and now he has to tell everyone around him. Just great, the consequences of his actions.

"Not yet" She says like it's a whisper. Naruto nods, he doesn't know if he would be able to if she said yes.

Maybe it's a curse that Naruto prefers to put everyone above himself.

Sasuke comes back.

Naruto was waiting for this day ever since he stepped foot outside the village.

"Sasuke!" He exclaims when he opens his door and finds him.

"Hey" He greets "I'm surprised you still live here" Naruti makes room for Sasuke to steo inside and guides him to the living room.

"Don't be a dick" Naruto says "You have somewhere to live yet?"

Sasuke stays quiet and looks down "I didn't bother looking"

"Oh" Naruto knows Sasuke isn't planning on staying. Why look for a place when he is going to leave anyway? "You can stay here for the meantime" He says not looking at Sasuke.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, never more sure"

Sasuke lets out a little laugh. "Whatever" That's the only confirmation Naruto needs.

It really couldn't last, nothing with Sasuke is stable, never was anyway. They were fighting only a few days after Sasuke came back.

But it wasn't like any other fight, it didn't involve punches or chakra or a training field; It was only them, their voices and the faint sound of the streets in a friday night.

Naruto was avoiding it, but earlier that day he was with the whole team seven and it only took Sakura saying something about his "girlfriend" and Kakashi's chuckle for Sasuke to excuse himself from the restaurant.

"I don't care" Sasuke had said when Naruto asked, but his Sharingan was activated like he was ready for a fight.

"I don't have anything with her!" Naruto said when Sasuke stayed quiet for far too long as he walked around his apartment.

Sasuke kept walking around collecting the things he carefully left, almost like owning Naruto's space "Why are you telling me that?" He spats "I'm just your friend"

Hearing the words Naruto said years ago made him stop.

Sasuke sighed. "You can't have everything, Naruto"

"But I want you"

"If you do, why everyone still thinks that you want her?" Sasuke scoffs "Is your choice, your village, or me"

Maybe it was how long he took to reply, maybe it was the doubt reflecting on his face, it could've been a lot of things that Sasuke had noticed in that moment "I'm done"

He saw Sasuke crossing the doorway without looking back.

A few months later, he proposes to Hinata. When she sees the ring for the first time she notices it really doesn't fit her style aside from being silver. The gem is the wrong shade of purple for her, she still said yes.

Naruto is looking at the distance, aware that Sasuke is away and had barely replied to the letters he's sent. He hears the door behind him and then Hinata reaching out to grab his hand.

They both smile.

The whole village thinks they are the perfect love story, Hinata who had always loved him even when he was an outcast and he, the hero of the village. Because Naruto had never been recognized as anything else in all the years he's lived there. In reality, Hinata has learn to stop waiting for him and Naruto has become a person, at least in her eyes.

They get married, not as lovers but as friends with a secret.

Naruto is eventually named as Hokage and he barely goes home, he barely has time for her. Sometimes he wonders what would've happened if he hadn't listen to anyone but himself.

He griefs of the momets he never got to have with Sasuke.

They're in Naruto's house when he pulls the ring out of his pocket to ask the question. Sasuke is looking at him with widened eyes.

"No" He doesn't let him ask the question.

Naruto confused, says "Huh? Sasuke what–" But then he hears Sasuke's nervous laugh.

"Sasuke–"

"You fucking idiot" He says "I will marry you" In a clasic Sasuke fashion, he won't ever let him win.

"Sasuke you asshole, you didn't let me ask" He complains, the other smirks and extends his hand for him to put the ring on.

"Y'know" Naruto starts staring at Sasuke's eyes and putting a strand of hair behind his ear "We've always looked for a home and I think I found mine"

"You think so?" Sasuke looks at the ring in his hand and then at him "Maybe I found mine too"

But Naruto didn't choose him and is stuck with loving him in the dark while he has to love Hinata in the eyes of everyone.

They're having dinner, in the same very restaurant this started.

He looks at her dark hair and pale skin admiring how beautiful she is, then he looks at the ring knowing he married a beautiful, strong woman.

But she isn't Sasuke.

It takes years for Sasuke to come back and the first thing they say to each other is nothing but a kiss that was building up since the day they parted.

It feels right. Like everything is in place.

"Does your wife know about this?" Sasuke asks while kissing his neck.

"Yeah, actually" He laughs. "Didn't you say I couldn't have everything I wanted?" Sasuke stares at him and hums.

"Is this everything you want?" The question is left heavy in the air. Naruto swallows knowing that in fact no, this is not what he wanted at all. He wanted Sasuke, he wanted to be married to him, he wanted to be with him in every mission and not having tons on paperwork, he wanted to be free. He wanted to be free of all burdens with Sasuke.

He doesn't need to say it because Sasuke knows him inside and out.

If Naruto stays late in his office every time Sasuke is in town it's his bussiness. The village doesn't have to know even if he deeply desires to scream to the whole world that Sasuke is who he really needs to be alive.

He promised to Hinata to love her until their deaths came in front of the whole village. 

But he promised Sasuke to be with him in the afterlife many years ago in the intimacy of their own world.

Naruto might have chosen the village, but his heart will always be with Sasuke.

Hinata knows that, but she's polite enough to ignore it.