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It’s getting closer to midnight and yet the reception is still raging. If you can call a small gathering of friends drunk off their faces on apple cider ‘raging’.
Rose has experienced some true ragers. At the industry parties she usually attends, it’s often easier to get your hands on a bag of coke than a glass of wine and she isn’t ashamed to admit that she’s indulged in the past.
But looking out over the Hollander-Rozanov backyard, she thinks to herself that this is the best party she has ever been to. And she’s been to many.
It had been a small get-together where she’d first met Shane Hollander. He turned out to be a friend of a friend of a friend and they had dated (disastrously) for about a month before it was made apparent that they’d be better off as friends. And that Shane would be better off with a man.
When Shane told her about the wedding, she was thrilled. Who would’ve thought that the push she gave him all those years ago would lead to him getting hitched to the love of his life today?
During the ceremony, Rose had shed a tear as Shane and Ilya teared up as they expressed their vows. Later, one of Ilya’s Centaur teammates would tease her for getting emotional and she would make a comment about how she couldn’t help but choke up at them getting to love each other out loud.
That was only half true, though.
In that joyous moment, Rose had felt a little bit of sadness for herself. She was almost thirty and she hadn’t had any long-term meaningful relationships. She was a stunningly beautiful woman who worked in an industry where networking was key. She wasn’t lacking for any potential suitors. She was, however, lacking in potential suitors who actually wanted to date her for her.
Everyone wanted a piece of Rose Landry, the glamorous movie-star. No one seemed to want Rose, the woman who regularly forgot to floss and preferred to talk hockey instead of Hollywood.
Even Shane, who was one of her best friends in the whole wide world, had been blinded by her stardom initially. Rose had considered that it was quite possibly one of the reasons he thought he wanted to date her. He had confused admiration with attraction.
To be fair to the men in her DMs, Rose also had insanely high expectations for a partner. After witnessing Ilya enthusiastically move countries and take setbacks to his career in order to make it work with Shane, empty promises of Birkins and Bali trips didn’t really seem to measure up anymore. She often joked with Shane and Ilya that they had both gotten the last good ones.
Her patience with men when it came to dating had worn seriously thin. Her most recent relationship had only lasted three months and the one before that had been even shorter. She’d been starting to think that maybe she was one of those people who were meant to stay single. Maybe in twenty years she’d be the rich aunt to the future Hollander-Rozanov offspring. The kind that imparts sage wisdom in between having the time of her life on girls’ trips with her girlfriends.
It’s these thoughts she ruminates on as she leans against the wall by the back door.
Out of the corner of her eye, Rose spots Yuna kissing Shane and Ilya goodnight and watches as she and David do the rounds, before heading around the side of the house to leave.
I should probably be leaving soon too, she thinks to herself.
All of the attendees who had babysitters to relieve and flights to catch had left earlier in the night so those who remain now are some of Ilya’s younger teammates, enthralled by all the free alcohol, and the striking woman Ilya had introduced as his friend, Svetlana.
The woman in question dances wildly with Ilya across the open space and Rose would be dancing too but she’s a bit too tipsy to do anything but lean against this cool wall at the moment.
Also, they haven’t really spoken to each other tonight outside of saying Hello, nice to meet you.
She does observe the way that Ilya and Svetlana interact and can tell that they must be very close. She gleans that Svetlana must have been to Ilya in some way what she was to Shane. She also takes note of how breathtakingly beautiful she is.
Rose doesn’t know if she models professionally but is sure she could make a lot of money doing so. She’s runway model tall with auburn curls which are mostly pulled back with a large claw clip. The curls that do escape frame her face perfectly, brushing against her rounded cheeks. Her shimmery green dress brings out the green in her hazel eyes and before she had gone barefoot to dance, she was wearing a pair of strappy heels that accentuated her long, slender legs. Her brown skin glints underneath the warm glow of the string lights that surround the patio.
If I was a man I’d be falling over myself to get a chance with her, Rose muses.
Rose is suddenly struck by the acute need to pee. Fucking alcohol.
She turns around and yanks on the door but it doesn’t budge.
“Fuckin—“
“It’s a sliding door.” Someone voices behind her. It’s feminine and accented and for a second she thinks that she had been caught staring.
She pushes the glass door along and it slides open with ease. Oh. How drunk is she?
“Going somewhere?” Svetlana asks with clear amusement.
“Just to the bathroom.”
“Co-incidence. So am I.”
“Oh, you can go first. I’ll wait.”
“It’s okay. I can use the one upstairs.” Svetlana’s gaze travels up and down Rose’s length. “I don’t think you are in a position to go up stairs right now?”
Svetlana smirks and Rose gives her a half-baked glare. She’s right of course but Rose refuses to concede. Svetlana just squeezes past her and steps into the house before stalking off toward the stairs. As she walks away, Rose scoffs in her wake. She reminds her of Ilya, in a way. Brazen but playful.
Once Rose leaves the downstairs toilet, it is absolutely her intention to grab her phone, call an Uber and say goodbye to Ottawa’s newest married couple but Ilya’s Russian vodka is making her head spin and she has to stop at the kitchen island to regain her balance.
“Zane Boodram left some barbecue in the fridge for the newlyweds but I’m sure they won’t miss a rib or two.”
“I was just leaving.”
“I’m sure, but I think you should drink some water and maybe eat something before you go.”
Rose thinks about the hangover she is sure to have tomorrow morning and can’t help but agree. Even if her stomach decides to empty its contents later, it’ll be better than dry heaving.
“Yes?” Svetlana questions.
“Yeah.” she replies and moves to sit on a stool at the counter.
Svetlana opens the fridge and, instead of barbecue, pulls out a container of pre-cut fruit and a bottle of water which she slides across the marble.
“You know your way around, huh?” Rose remarks at the ease in which she flits around the kitchen.
“I have only been here a couple of times but I have a good memory. Plus, I practically used to live with Ilya — I know exactly where he likes to put his stuff.” She says, portioning out some of the fruit onto a paper plate.
“You lived together?”
“We are childhood friends, yes? When he came to America, I was the only person he knew so we spent a lot of time together.” Svetlana places the fruit before Rose and hands her a fork.
“Thanks. I’m too drunk to tell if that was a euphemism.”
Svetlana laughs brightly. “No it wasn’t a euphemism,” she says carefully, “but Ilya and I did use to be…friends-with-benefits.”
Rose's eyes widen and Svetlana rushes to clarify.
“But that was long ago. Many, many years. We love each other like friends love each other and he loves Shane like Shane is his sun.”
Rose considers her words then asks shyly. “Can I tell you a secret?”
Svetlana leans in. “Oh, I love secrets.”
“I’m kind of jealous.”
Now it’s Svetlana’s turn to be taken aback.
“Not in that way,” Rose laughs, “I..I want what they have.”
Svetlana tilts her head and thinks for a moment.
“I don’t think anybody will ever have what they have, they have endured so much. But even as cynical as I am, they still make me believe in love.” She states frankly.
Rose blinks at Svetlana’s response then gives her a small smile. “We can only hope, right?”
Rose finishes her fruit and the bottle of water under Svetlana’s watchful eye, before she retrieves her phone and calls a cab back to her hotel.
“Thanks for tonight, Svetlana.” She says as they walk down to the front gate.
“You are very welcome. And by the way, my friends all call me Sveta.”
“Are we friends now?”
“I want to be.”
It’s a month after Shane and Ilya’s wedding when Rose gets a barrage of texts from an unknown number.
Unknown: I hope you were not too hungover after the wedding 😁
Unknown: It’s Sveta by the way
Unknown: I forgot to get your number that night and I did not want to disturb the husbands on their honeymoon so I had to wait to get it
Unknown: Are you there? I hope this is right number 🫠
Rose Landry: Sveta calm down I was on the stairmaster fighting for my life
Unknown: Send pics for proof
Rose raises a confused eyebrow at the most recent text as she saves Svetlana’s number to her phone. She decides to ignore it.
Rose Landry: Please don’t remind me of that night 🥴
Rose Landry: I was so disgustingly hungover I think I’m still nauseous
Sveta (Ilya’s friend): Sorry I was not there to rub your back as you puked up your intestines
Rose Landry: First, yuck
Rose Landry: Second, your back rub wouldn’t even have helped it was like I was possessed
Sveta (Ilya’s friend): 🤣🤣
Sveta (Ilya’s friend): I’m sorry but it’s too funny
Sveta (Ilya’s friend): Next time I coach you on how to drink vodka. We will build up your immunity, yes?
Rose Landry: Next time?
Sveta (Ilya’s friend): Next time you are on west coast or next time I am on east coast
Sveta (Ilya’s friend): Or next time we are both in Canada getting on Shane and Ilya’s nerves
Rose Landry: Okay just let me know
Sveta (Ilya’s friend): 👌🏽
They follow each other on Instagram the same day. In the following weeks, Svetlana is busy selling sports cars in Boston and Rose is busy shooting her new court procedural show in LA but they consistently send each other memes and reply to each others’ posts.
sveta.vetrova: replied to your story — Americans and their obsession with colorful cocktails? Just drink the fucking alcohol
roselandryofficial: You were literally drinking a tequila sunrise in the story you posted two days ago
sveta.vetrova: You watch my stories?
In late September, Rose finds out she’ll be going to New York for two weeks to shoot on location.
She’s not quite sure why but she’s so excited at the prospect of being on the same coast as Svetlana. She wonders if it would be too forward to ask her to meet up while she’s in New York. Svetlana was the one who said she wanted to be friends anyway and it wouldn’t hurt to have more mutual friends with Shane and Ilya.
Rose: Hey I’m going to be in New York soon for work
Sveta: Okay? I live in Massachusetts.
Rose: Don’t be funny 🙄 You promised to take me drinking and Boston is a lot closer to New York than it is to LA.
Sveta: 🤔
Rose: I’ll pay for your flights and book you a room in my hotel.
That seems to be more than enough to sway her mind and put in for PTO at the dealership. Two weeks later, Svetlana lands at LaGuardia and is greeted by Rose as she exits the airport. Rose had thought about just sending a driver for her, but had decided against it, opting to pick her up in a cab instead. She kind of can’t wait to see her again.
When she spots Svetlana walking toward her, backpack over one shoulder, Rose moves to hug her but changes her mind at the last second and drops her hands to her side awkwardly.
Is it appropriate to embrace a woman you’ve only really met once while wasted at your friend’s wedding reception?
She doesn’t know why she’s overthinking this right now. If it had been someone she’d met in passing at a party in LA, she’d have no qualms about it. But being around Svetlana seems to be making her question herself a lot more than she ever had.
Svetlana appears to notice her dilemma and snakes her free arm around Rose’s neck, pulling her in.
“Hey, it’s good to see you again. And sober too.” Svetlana jokes. If she’s trying to cut the tension, it works. Rose breathes out a shy laugh as they break away from one another.
“I’m glad you were able to come, Sveta. Miles said he’d come with me but his boyfriend booked them a last minute trip to Venice.”
“Oh, so I’m the reluctant second choice? Thanks. Makes me feel really special.”
“No! It’s not like tha—“ Rose cuts herself off when she realises that she’s being teased. “Not funny.”
“A little bit funny.” Svetlana purposely seeks eye contact and examines Rose’s face. She can’t bring herself to look away though, not when those hazel eyes seem to dance under the soft glow of the sunset.
Rose knows she’s a bombshell. She’s been the face of many marketing campaigns and after the first X-Squad movie, a popular entertainment magazine had named her the sexiest action star of the year. But she can’t help feeling like a Z-lister standing next to Svetlana right now. Rose doesn’t think she could ever dream of looking so good after getting off an airplane.
If Svetlana notices Rose getting lost in her eyes, she doesn’t let on. She just hauls her bag onto her shoulder, leans in and says: “Lead the way, Rose.”
And she does.
On the drive back to the hotel, the two women chat about the weather to the low drone of music on the radio. After fifteen minutes, they slip into a comfortable silence. Rose pretends not to notice the glances Svetlana steals as she taps away at her phone. When they arrive, Rose helps Svetlana check in and then leaves her to get accustomed to her room and rest a bit after her trip.
At a quarter to nine, Rose gets an unexpected text from Svetlana.
Sveta: Meet me in lobby in 1 hr
Rose: ???
Rose: I thought you’d want to rest tonight we can go out tmrw
Sveta: Forgive me, I thought we would actually spend some time together while I’m here
Sveta: And I was promised drinking
Rose: YOU promised ME drinking 🙄
Sveta: Same difference 🤷🏽♀️
Sveta: I’m only here for two nights
Rose: Fine
Rose: See you downstairs in an hour
Sveta: 😁
Half an hour later, Rose still hasn’t picked something to wear. She wonders if she should text Svetlana to see what she’s wearing but thinks that it would be presumptuous to coordinate outfits. She’s also sure that whatever she wears won’t measure up to what Svetlana steps out in. Rose doesn’t think Svetlana has ever looked bad a day in her life.
In the end, she just decides on a pair of dark jeans and a baby tee. Casual. This is just grabbing a drink with a friend, she reminds herself. She tries not to rush through her hair and makeup routine. It’ll likely be dark in the bar but Svetlana will be close. Why does that matter?
At five minutes to their agreed meeting time, she pulls on her brown leather boots and a matching leather jacket. She double checks her appearance in the bathroom mirror, smoothing her hair repeatedly and tucking and untucking it behind her ears.
Calm down, you look fine, she reassures herself and heads out of the room.
When she gets downstairs, Svetlana is already waiting for her, sitting comfortably in a plush, upholstered chair. She’s wearing jeans too but with sneakers instead of heels like Rose is.
Rose is astonished at how she manages without fail to make the most regular clothes look like they just flew off the runway. Her hair isn’t tied back tonight and her copper ringlets frame her face like a halo.
Rose tries not to trip over her own feet and nods in acknowledgment as she approaches her.
Svetlana waves back. “Hey, I scheduled a cab for us. Will be here in like ten minutes.”
“Cool,” Rose responds. “So, what’s the plan for tonight?”
Svetlana smirks knowingly.
“Please don’t tell me you’re taking us to the Kingfisher. I’ll get mobbed if I step foot in there.”
Rose has always been proud that a significant portion of her fanbase consists of the LGBTQ+ community, particularly gay men, but she’s really not in the mood to be hassled for selfies tonight.
“Don’t worry we’re going to Foxglove. I went there last time I was in New York. It was fun.”
“Oh, I think I’ve heard of it. Isn’t that a lesbian bar?”
“Yes. Problem?”
Rose’s internal PR manager considers the optics of her being spotted at a lesbian bar. There’ll probably be some discourse about her sexuality online tomorrow morning but it’s not like she’s never been seen in a queer space before. She’s not an activist but she has been somewhat outspoken about her allyship before.
Svetlana seems to sense her hesitation and offers up what could be an excuse.
“Sometimes you want to get a drink with your friend without sweaty men grinding up against you, straight or otherwise.”
“Right.” she replies and takes a seat on the chair opposite Svetlana.
As they wait for their car, Rose feels a pang of an emotion she can’t put a name to towards Svetlana’s suggestion of some sort of plausible deniability. She can’t quite identify why that is. It’s technically true. She wants to have a drink with her friend. But she would have also been fine drinking crappy beer at a crappy bar. So why is the idea of going to a lesbian bar with Svetlana so exciting?
There’s a lot of traffic so the driver drops them a short while away. Rose has been to the Village before but it’s been some time so Svetlana leads the way.
“It’s just down here.” she says, grabbing Rose’s hand. Their fingers are interlocked and Rose thinks about the last time she held hands with someone walking down the street. She’s not a big fan of PDA, even with friends, but the warmth of Svetlana’s hand cuts through the bitingly cold breeze. She doesn’t think she wants to let go.
Shit. She thinks. I’m so chronically single, I’m losing my mind.
Svetlana spots Foxglove’s neon sign and tugs at her hand enthusiastically.
They are just about to enter when someone taps Rose on the shoulder. She turns to see a young man with his phone out. He seems woefully underdressed for the weather, donning just a light blue shirt and denim shorts. A group of similarly underdressed men watch the interaction and whisper behind him.
The way he’s holding his phone makes her think he’s recording her. She doesn’t make a big deal out of it though; if she confronted everyone she caught filming her without permission, she wouldn’t have time to do anything else.
“Rose Landry! Holy shit! I thought it was you!” he exclaims. “I loved you in X-Squad! You looked so fierce in that costume! My name’s Parker, by the way. I’m like your biggest fan.” He points his thumb over his shoulder. “My boyfriend says I don’t shut up about you. Could I get a photo?”
Rose, unable to get a word in, just smiles at his ramblings and nods at his request. There are plenty of times when she’s not in the mood to pose for pictures but she still takes them most of the time because if you turn someone down, no matter how nice you are and no matter how rude they are, you will be labelled an ungrateful diva by the media before you can blink.
“Sveta, do you mind-“
“No, of course.” Svetlana takes the man’s phone and snaps a few photos.
“Thanks!”
He looks like he’s going to keep talking so Svetlana loops her arm through Rose’s and pulls her inside. Rose throws an apologetic look over her shoulder as though she doesn’t want to be dragged away. She absolutely does.
Inside, Foxglove is at about seventy five percent capacity and she can see people standing outside in a small smoking area through the back with their glasses, smoking and vaping the night away.
It’s a cosy, inviting space. There’s a long bar along one wall and a row of booths along the other. A few standing tables are dispersed throughout, leaving a tiny space for a mini ‘dance floor’ where a few people sway slowly to the music.
When she had thought of a place where Svetlana would go when she goes out, she’d imagined more lights, more people and louder music. But standing in this room with its warm lighting and low conversation, she thinks this room is distinctly Svetlana too.
“Shots to get us started?” Svetlana asks, pausing her inspection.
“Sure. Let me guess, vodka?”
“Whoa, you know me so well already.”
They walk over to sit at the bar and Svetlana orders two shots. She asks the bartender to see the bottle first and nods after inspecting the label.
“I love how pretentious you’re pretending to be.” Rose laughs, “I’m sure when you and Ilya were drinking and fucking your way across Russia and North America, you didn’t stop to check the quality of the liquor.”
Svetlana also laughs. “No, but we were young and eager. My palate is infinitely more sophisticated now.”
“I’m sure.”
While they wait for their drinks, Rose pulls out her phone to take a selfie of the both of them.
“I thought you didn’t want to take photos tonight?” Svetlana teases.
“Yeah, but we need to brag to Shane and Ilya that we’ve stolen their best friend from them. Smile!”
Rose: [IMG_8237.jpg]
Rose: We’re having so much fun without you guys 😛
He doesn’t reply. Knowing Shane, it’s probably past his bedtime, she muses.
Their drinks come and they clink them together before knocking them back. Svetlana orders one more shot and two mojitos.
“I thought we were pacing ourselves?”
“Nope, we are pacing you. I will have another shot then we will nurse our mojitos while we talk and dance.”
Rose glances at the people dancing and squints. You can take Rose to a club or a rave and she’ll jump and dance with the rest of them. But in a place like this? With its mood lighting and slow music? The dancing expected here requires a lot more sensuality and she doesn't quite know what Svetlana expects of her.
They pick up their drinks and a small plate of mozzarella sticks that they order after Rose’s stomach growls and move to the last unoccupied booth. For a second, Rose thinks that Svetlana is going to sit down next to her but she leans over to grab a mozzarella stick then slides into the bench opposite her. They sit quietly for a few moments before Rose speaks up.
“So, how’s working at the dealership?”
Svetlana smiles, seemingly amused by the randomness of the conversation topic.
“It’s okay. I sell expensive cars, earn big commissions, get home by six.” She tips her drink towards Rose. “What about you? How’s acting?”
“A lot of learning lines, a lot of stunt training, even more schmoozing at dinner parties.”
“Sounds terrible.”
They go back to their silence again, sipping their cocktails and taking turns to pick up the mozzarella sticks until they’re all gone. Rose notices she’s drumming her fingers on the table and pulls her hands into her lap, smoothing them over her thighs.
This is so weird, Rose thinks. Why am I so nervous right now?
Svetlana doesn’t appear to notice her awkwardness, or if she does, she doesn’t comment on it.
Svetlana finishes her drink first and then starts pestering Rose to dance.
“Maybe later, after I’ve finished my drink. Look,” Rose points out one of the many people who’ve been eyeing Svetlana since they walked in. “Why don’t you go dance with them?”
Svetlana looks back and forth between Rose’s eyes then squints. “Hmm. Okay.”
Svetlana slips out of the booth and makes a beeline to the person Rose had highlighted. They’re wearing a mesh tank top that shows off their defined muscles and their dark hair is sticking up all over the place, probably held in place by copious amounts of gel and hairspray. They’ve got more piercings than Rose can count and their eyes are circled by black eyeliner and eyeshadow. They’re incredibly hot.
Rose knows that you don’t need to be attracted to someone to know that they’re attractive and Rose can see that this person is very good-looking, objectively. It suddenly strikes Rose that Svetlana might think they’re attractive too. Did Svetlana have a more pointed reason for bringing her here?
Rose notices the way Svetlana leans in to whisper something to them then leads them over to where several people are already dancing.
Is that Svetlana’s type then? Rose thinks. Masc and muscular and dangerously good-looking? Svetlana had been more than willing to go up to them. And now they were moving together under the dim light of the bar.
As she watches the two of them sway, Rose downs the rest of her mojito and grimaces. The taste of the drink in her mouth has suddenly turned bitter. She doesn’t know why but she can’t look away. Not from the way Svetlana’s hair bounces with every step, nor the way her eyes shine like a beacon in the dark.
The person spins Svetlana around and they make eye contact with Rose over Svetlana’s shoulder. Rose isn’t in control of what her face is doing but something in her expression scares them. They whisper something in Svetlana’s ear and she takes a step back.
Before Svetlana can turn to look at her, Rose stands and half-runs towards the bar. That person had definitely got the wrong message and now Rose looks like the worst person in the world.
And if the situation couldn’t get any worse, the woman behind the bar decides that this is the moment to grill her.
“Hey, I saw that guy ask you for a picture outside earlier. Are you like famous or something?”
“Oh, I—“
“Yes, she is. Very famous actor but also very humble.” Svetlana says plainly.
Rose hadn’t even realised that Svetlana had followed her to the bar. Half an hour ago, Rose would have glared at her jokingly but now she just stares straight ahead as though that could make her disappear.
“Oh cool, would I have seen something you’ve been in?”
“Maybe, maybe not. She’s been blue in half of the movies she’s been in.”
That manages to break Rose out of her spiralling and she swats Svetlana on the arm.
The bartender thankfully doesn’t attempt to interrogate Rose any further. She instead looks back and forth between them and smiles knowingly.
“You two are really cute together.”
“Thanks?” Rose answers, slightly perplexed by the implication. Svetlana just grins beside her.
“So…” Svetlana starts while glancing at Rose warily. “Alex told me that my girlfriend was looking at them like she wanted to kill them.”
“Who’s Alex?” Rose asks even though she’s sure she knows the answer. She’s glad Svetlana doesn’t pick up on the fact that she doesn’t deny glowering at them. Or the way her breath catches at the word ‘girlfriend’.
“The very handsome person I shared a dance with, you know, the one you said I should dance with? Them.” Svetlana provokes. “They said they didn’t want to get in the middle of whatever we’ve got going on.”
“Well, we don’t have anything going on so…”
Svetlana doesn’t respond to that but Rose can feel the scrutiny of her gaze. It’s overwhelming and it takes everything she has not to run out of there. Instead, she pushes herself up from where she’d been leaning on the bar and points a thumb over her shoulder. “I’m uh— I need to use the bathroom.”
She doesn’t look back to see if Svetlana is following but when she doesn’t hear the heavy bathroom door shut behind her, Rose knows she has.
“I don’t know what you want from me, Sveta!” Rose cries as she spins around.
“I could say the same to you, Rose.” Svetlana replies, her voice even and low. “Why did you invite me to New York?”
“To catch up and…grab a drink with a friend?” Rose’s voice shakes like it doesn’t believe her either.
“That’s all? You convince me to take time off work,” Svetlana takes a step towards her. “You pay for my travel.” She takes another step forward. “You book me a room in your fancy, expensive hotel.” With Rose in her heeled boots and Svetlana wearing flat shoes, they’re practically nose to nose now. “You get jealous when I dance with someone else.”
“I wasn’t jealous.” Rose retorts.
“No? What do you call scaring off people who I try to dance with?”
“I just—“
“You just what?”
“I don’t know. I think…” I think I like you, Rose thinks shudderingly. “I’ve never met someone like you.”
“Oh yeah?” She smirks.
“I’m usually so confident and put together. But you make me feel like a nobody.”
Svetlana’s face drops.
“I never meant to make you feel bad.”
“No, no, you don’t make me feel bad. You make me feel human. I like the way you talk to me. Without the pretence, you know. I probably sound really pathetic right now. I’m sure this isn’t what you expected when I asked you here.”
“No, it wasn’t.” Sveta whispers.
Looking at Svetlana now, Rose is suddenly struck by the thought of how Shane might have felt the night they first met all those years back. Confusing admiration with attraction. But in her case, it’s the other way around.
Fuck, Rose thinks. I do like her.
Before she even knows what she’s doing, Rose leans in and presses her lips against Svetlana’s.
She’s immediately struck by how soft and plump Svetlana’s lips are. She’s then struck by the realisation that she’s not being kissed back. Her eyes fly open but before she can pull away, Svetlana's slender fingers are wrapped around her nape, holding her close. Her other hand moves to grab Rose’s waist. Now they’re really kissing.
There are no thoughts in Rose’s brain other than Sveta, Sveta, Sveta. The muffled music and the smell of bleach slip away and all she can smell, hear and taste is the sensation of Svetlana's body against her own. Svetlana thumbs the sliver of exposed skin above her hip, rubbing circles into it. Her brain buzzes as they wrap around each other and Rose feels as though she could just melt away under her touch.
Rose almost forgets where she is for a moment, but as she’s pushed back into the sink, she realises what they’re doing. She hasn’t made out in a bar or club toilet in years and if someone catches them and recognises her, they’re toast.
“Wait—“ Rose says when she takes a breath in between kisses. Svetlana immediately backs up.
“I’m sorry, were you not into it?”
“No, I enjoyed that. Very much so.”
Svetlana smirks at her response and leans in again but Rose turns her head away.
“Then what is it?”
“If we’re going to do this, it’s not going to be here, out in public where anyone can walk in.”
And as if to prove her right, the door creaks as someone pushes it open. They jump away from each other. Rose is sure they look suspicious with their frazzled hair and swollen lips but the interrupter just squeezes past them into a stall.
The edge of Rose’s mouth curves upwards and suddenly they’re laughing.
“Come on,” Svetlana says, holding out her hand. “Let’s go.”
Rose grabs her hand and allows herself to be led out of the bathroom, out of the bar entirely and down the street. They don’t stop walking until they find a taxi.
When they get back to Rose’s room, they initially just stand at the foot of the bed and look at each other.
“It’s okay, we don’t have—“ Svetlana begins but Rose shakes her head and runs her thumb across Svetlana’s bottom lip. Rose might be terrified of what this means but she’s not terrified of doing this here, now, with Svetlana.
Now barefoot, Rose is several inches shorter than Svetlana. Rose reaches up to hold Svetlana’s face in her hand and makes her look down into her eyes.
“I want to.”
And Rose truly does want this. She wants this like she needs air to breathe. She wants this like she’s never wanted anything else. It feels like there’s a fire smouldering under her skin and having Svetlana is the only thing that will set it alight.
Before she can let that burning want extinguish, she raises herself up onto her toes and presses a gentle kiss to Svetlana’s lips. Just like before, it starts slow and chaste, but when Svetlana starts kissing back in earnest, it deepens. Svetlana’s mouth is just as warm and soft and welcoming as it had been earlier in the night and it feels intoxicating. Rose hears herself sigh though the kisses and she doesn’t think it can get better than this.
Svetlana’s hands dip under her shirt then move down to wedge them into the space between her jeans and her lacy briefs.
“This okay?”
Rose doesn’t respond, just keens when Svetlana squeezes and reaches back up to bury her tongue in her mouth.
It’s not long before clothes start coming off and they move onto the bed.
As Svetlana comes down, Rose kisses her way up her torso and wipes her hand on the bedspread. Svetlana blinks up at the ceiling, rendered speechless. After a minute or two, she gazes down at the woman lying on top of her.
“You’re suspiciously good at that for someone who hasn’t done that before.” she sighs, sated and still slightly breathless.
“What can I say, I’m a fast learner. And I had a good teacher.” Rose jokes as she rests her head on Svetlana’s chest and looks up at her.
“You were perfect.” Svetlana says fondly and strokes Rose’s mussed-up hair.
A quick shower later, they’re back in bed under the sheets and Svetlana is moments away from sleep when Rose murmurs something against her back.
“What was that?”
Rose rolls away from her and stares up at the ceiling.
“I said I can’t believe I didn’t realise you were into me. That you were even into women at all.”
Svetlana turns to face her.
“You’re shocked I’m bi?”
“No! It’s just…I don’t know. I thought I had good gaydar. I guess it doesn’t work on women — or me, for that matter.”
“You’re telling me it didn’t cross your mind?”
“Honestly, no. The thought of me maybe being…not straight didn’t even seriously cross my mind until like two hours ago.”
“Not even when I took you to a lesbian bar and you eye-fucked me?”
Rose turns and pulls a pillow from behind her head to thwack her.
“Hey! You started the eye-fucking!”
“Yeah, but it takes two to eye-fuck…or however the saying goes.”
Rose lets out a high-pitched giggle. Outside of the time when Shane told her he prefers to be the hole rather than the peg when it comes to sex, she doesn’t think she’s giggled like that since she was a tween.
“I don’t get it. I’ve kissed women before — I played a lesbian librarian in that movie I did three years ago. I didn’t feel anything then.”
“Ah, but did your scene partner look like this?” Svetlana stretches out on the bed next to her, posing like she wants to be painted like a French girl. Rose’s eyes wander over her lithe body. No, no one looks like you, Rose wants to say but she thinks that might be too intense right now so she laughs instead.
“You have a point.”
“You know, some men are married to women for decades then it takes just one experience and they realise they’re gay.” Svetlana posits.
“Thank you for comparing me to middle-aged late-in-life gay men.”
“You’re welcome.” Svetlana smirks and leans in. “I can’t believe you’ve never done that with another woman before, you must be the only Hollywood resident that’s never had a threesome.”
“Fuck you,” Rose spits but there’s no malice. “Contrary to what you might think, not everyone in Hollywood attends sex parties.”
“Maybe you should have attended, you would have figured some things out much sooner.”
“Yeah, but then we wouldn’t have had this.”
Svetlana closes the space between them and presses a chaste kiss to her lips. As she pulls back, she wraps her arms around Rose and they lay there, smiling at each other in silence and caressing each other’s faces. They fall asleep like this, curled around one another, breathing each other in.
Rose wakes up first. It’s a trip to watch Svetlana sleeping for the first time. Although the room is mostly dark, a beam of light paints a stripe across the both of them through a gap in the curtains and Rose can make out the features of the woman laying beside her. A contrast from the way she looked at her last night, Svetlana looks so innocent like this, with her mouth ajar and her hands tucked under her chin. Yesterday she was hot, today she’s cute. Rose is so gone.
She reaches over to the nightstand by her side and picks up her phone. After showering last night, she had found it in the mound of clothes they left at the end of the bed and had left it to charge overnight. It’s only eight o’clock. They still have plenty of time to sleep in so she leans back into the pillows.
She tries to fall back asleep but her mind is racing. She still can’t quite believe that she’s got Svetlana in her bed, half nude. How does a woman like her, with queer friends and progressive parents, not know she likes women until she’s twenty-eight years old? Were there no signs?
She thinks about everything now. Her impossibly high standards, dumping the few boyfriends that weren’t gay at the drop of a hat. She’s dated an unnaturally high number of men that turned out to be gay. Perhaps they went for her because they could tell that she wasn’t all that into them either.
Most women, including the ones who aren’t homophobic would probably still feel some kind of disappointment at their boyfriend turning out to be gay. If not to mourn their relationship, then to be upset at being strung along. But Rose has never been sad or angry at any of her exes. She’s only felt happiness in helping them discover themselves or pity that they had to conceal their sexualities. Oh. She never really did like any of them, did she?
She’s so caught up in her thoughts she doesn’t realise when the body lying next to her begins to stir.
“Good morning, Rose.”
Rose's face relaxes as she turns towards her and pulls her in close by the waist.
“Morning.”
“You were pouting. What are you thinking about?”
“Me.” Rose gestures between them then sighs. “This.”
“Yeah?”
Svetlana leans in to encourage her to elaborate but she doesn’t think Svetlana wants to hear about her ex-boyfriends right now so she deflects.
“That and the fact that Shane and Ilya will never let us live this down.”
“Well…”
“Well, what?”
“Ilya may already know.”
“When did you find time to tell him?”
“I didn’t. Not last night anyway.”
“You’re telling me you told Ilya in advance that you were planning on getting into my pants.” Rose voices, unamused.
“I didn’t quite put it like that.”
It then registers that it’s no wonder Shane hadn’t replied to that photo she’d taken of them at the bar. Ilya and Shane have no secrets and Shane is a terrible, terrible liar.
They’re in no rush to get out of bed so they spend the next few hours drifting in and out of sleep, making out, and scrolling on their phones until Svetlana’s stomach makes a noise that’s too pointed to ignore.
It’s been more than twelve hours since the bar snacks and they’ve definitely missed the breakfast hours at the hotel. Rose is tempted to just say fuck it and just order room service so she doesn’t have to leave this room with Svetlana right now but they only have one more day together and then her hotel room and the shooting location is pretty much all she’ll get to see for the next two weeks.
Rose shows Svetlana a photo of a plate of a croque madame that looks mouth-wateringly good.
“My friend Frankie recommended this bistro to me. It’s like a ten minute walk from here.”
“Frankie? Are all your friends just gay men?”
“Francesca is a straight woman, thank you very much. And you’re one to talk.”
Svetlana grins and rolls on top of her. “Straight straight? Or straight like you were until last night?”
“Oh, you’re a fucking asshole.” Rose scoffs but she’s smiling too hard. “Is that common in Russia or just unique to you?”
Svetlana just laughs and pecks her on the tip of her nose. “Let’s go to Frankie’s bistro.”
The moment they walk in, the manager instantly recognises Rose and very graciously has them seated at a table that’s a little more private. The decor and atmosphere is ostentatiously rustic but the quality of the food makes it worth the excursion.
They sit and eat and talk for hours about whatever. Svetlana talks about fashion and life in Boston. Rose gossips about MLH drama and her co-stars. They’re sat there for so long that their server starts glaring but they earn their way back into his good books when they leave him a sizeable tip.
As they leave, it suddenly dawns on Rose that Svetlana’s leaving for Boston the next morning and that they probably won’t see each other for a long time.
Svetlana notices her silence on the walk back to the hotel.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. It’s just…today has been amazing but you’re going back home tomorrow and in two weeks I’ll be back in LA.”
“It’s not like we’ll never see each other again and nowadays they have this new kind of technology, I think it’s called a phone?” Svetlana teases.
“Whatever.” Rose elbows her and speeds up.
Svetlana rubs her side. “Oof, you have unnaturally pointy elbows.” On account of her legs being much longer than Rose’s, it only takes Svetlana two long strides to catch up with her. “I think I know what’s really troubling you, though.“
“Yeah, what’s that?”
“You think it’s just a one time thing for me.” Svetlana makes a face and gestures. “That I’m a ‘hit it and quit it’ kind of person?”
“Please never say that again.”
“Well, I’m not.”
“No?” Rose probes.
“No.”
“So…you want to see me again?” Rose is aware she may be coming across a bit desperate but she needs to know. “Like…see see me?”
“If that’s what you want too.”
Rose goes silent again. Is that what she wants? She doesn’t even have a label to describe her sexuality right now. Does that matter? All she knows is she likes Svetlana and she’ll probably regret it if she doesn’t pursue this right now.
The thought of it should probably be making her feel a lot more intimidated and apprehensive but most of what she’s feeling right now is excitement. She likes Svetlana. And Svetlana likes her. So it’s clear-cut, then.
They’re really going to do this.
“I cannot believe that I realised I liked women and acquired a girlfriend in the space of twenty four hours. My life’s a movie.” Rose sighs.
“A girlfriend?”
“Oh, I—“
She hushes Rose and hooks a finger under her chin to make her meet her eyes.
“I like the sound of that.”
“You do?”
“Yes, I will also accept partner, significant other, lover, if you’re feeling freak—“
“Okay, okay I get it!” Rose laughs trying to cover Svetlana’s mouth.
“If it wasn’t clear before, I like you. I’ve liked you since I first met you. I’m all in.”
Rose really wishes that she wasn’t Rose Landry and that they weren’t standing in the middle of the street, because she really wants to kiss Svetlana breathless right now. But she can’t. So she just gazes steadily into her eyes instead and hopes they convey the emotion of everything she’s feeling.
Svetlana‘s eyes flit down to Rose’s lips and for a moment Rose thinks she’s about to go for it.
“I think we should get back to your room, don’t you?” Svetlana says instead.
They spend the rest of the day in and out of Rose’s bed; fucking, sleeping, watching TV, talking. They start to talk about the future in absolutes and promise to text everyday. Rose makes plans to stop in Boston before she returns to LA. Rose knows that this is going to take hard work but she is more committed to making this long-distance relationship work more than she’s ever been committed to anything.
A month after New York, Shane has the decency not to pretend to be surprised when she video calls him and tells him about her and Svetlana.
“I’m glad you two got together. All those jokes about me being your gay ex-boyfriend, now you get to be my lesbian ex-girlfriend!” he quips.
Rose has given it a lot of thought these past few weeks and she’s realised that she truly is a lesbian. Now that she has a benchmark of what she actually likes, she realises that she was never really into men. Just going with the flow of what people expected from her.
When she compares the experiences she’s had dating men to what she has now, it’s no competition. Even if, heaven forbid, she and Svetlana don’t go the distance, she can still only visualise herself dating another woman, sleeping with another woman, loving another woman. When she accepts this, there’s no shame or grieving her past relationships, just joy that she’s finally getting to live the life it appears she’s always meant to have been living.
Ilya is just as thrilled when Svetlana tells him their scheming worked out in the end. He immediately creates a group chat titled: The Polycule (who the hell taught him that term?) and is already planning double dates and a couples’ vacation for the four of them after the hockey season.
A month after that, Rose invites Svetlana to Michigan to spend Christmas with her family. She initially tells her parents that she’s invited a friend over but with a week to go, she comes clean and comes out as a lesbian to them. She doesn’t know why she had been so hesitant to tell them. Miles has visited before and her younger cousin is gay and they’ve been nothing but accepting of the both of them. But she also knows that for some people it’s different when it’s their own kid.
As it turns out, she has nothing to worry about because they immediately engulf her in hugs and kisses and tell her they love her and they’re so excited to meet the woman in her life.
Her older brothers are just as supportive. They just make jokes about having more competition which don’t really make sense seeing as two out of the three of them are married with children and the third has a girlfriend but she appreciates the sentiment they’re trying to express.
On Christmas Eve, she picks Svetlana up from the airport and there’s a bit of déjà vu from the last time they were in this position but this time there’s none of the awkwardness. Just unbridled excitement and expectation. Svetlana looks so beautiful and windswept that Rose can’t help herself and rises to kiss her right there in Arrivals. Later, she’ll be pleasantly surprised that no one recognised her or took a sneaky photo of them that day.
Svetlana falls into step easily with the rest of her family. No one can talk cars or hockey like her and thankfully, those seem to be the two main topics of conversation in the Landry household. She’s a bit overwhelmed by all the nieces and nephews but keeps her sanity by slyly bribing the kids with chocolate to give her space when she thinks no one’s looking. Rose catches her mid-bribe once but just shrugs her shoulders. That’ll be their parents’ problem at bedtime, not hers.
Christmas Day comes and despite the kids waking everyone up at the crack of dawn and her mother forgetting to put the ham in the oven on time, Rose thinks that this is the best Christmas she’s ever had. She’s told Svetlana not to worry about bringing gifts but she’s surprised when Svetlana runs upstairs and returns with little gift boxes which she hands out to the kids. Inside the boxes are sets of matryoshka of various designs. Rose’s heart melts and she reaches over to grab her hand.
“You didn’t have to.”
“I know, but I wanted to.”
The nesting dolls are a big hit with the kids which unfortunately only makes it harder for them to leave her alone. When they finally get a moment alone together, Christmas dinner has long been eaten and most of the house is asleep. They’re sitting next to each other in Rose’s childhood bedroom. Her parents had thankfully turned it into another guest room when Rose had moved out to LA at eighteen so she doesn’t have to stare at the cringe teen posters that once plastered the walls.
Svetlana gets up and rummages around in her suitcase. “I’ve got something for you too.”
“Sveta—“
“I know, I know. We said no presents but it’s really for the both of us.”
She pulls two long, rectangular boxes out and hands one to Rose.
Inside is a silver tennis bracelet with green stones. She looks over to see an identical bracelet in Svetlana’s box, but with blue stones.
“Since we’re going to spend a lot of time apart…I thought we could have something matching to remind us of each other. The blue stones reminded me of your eyes and the salesperson said this green was closest to mine. If it’s too much I can—“
Rose cradles the box to her chest like someone was trying to rip it away. “No way! You’re not returning them! This was so thoughtful. I love them. I love you.”
It’s only when Svetlana sits there stunned for several seconds does Rose realise what she’s said but she doesn’t care — it’s true. “You don’t have to say it back or anything but I do.”
“Of course I love you too.”
“Yeah?”
“Yes.”
“Really?”
“Da.”
Rose grins so wide her cheeks ache and reaches for her girlfriend who she’s in love with and who loves her. It’s a terrible kiss, seeing as neither of them can stop smiling. Rose is giddy with the love she feels for the woman in front of her and she can do nothing but hold on to her. She’s convinced she would crawl under her skin and live there if she could.
They eventually separate and help each other put on their corresponding bracelets.
After their love confessions, the pair are too worked up to lie down and sleep so they move to the kitchen to talk over some caramel hot chocolate. If it were up to Rose, they’d be naked right now but the knowledge of her parents sleeping down the hall pours ice water over that idea.
“I still feel horrible that I didn’t get you anything.” Rose frowns, setting her Santa-themed mug on the counter.
“You did.” Svetlana replies which makes Rose raise an eyebrow. “I know I haven’t talked about it much but I have no brothers or sisters and my parents don’t exactly agree with how I choose to live my life.”
“Oh, Sveta,” Rose starts, reaching over to caress her face. Svetlana shakes her head and offers Rose a small smile.
“It’s okay, I grew up in a mixed family in Russia, I was already used to family not accepting me.” She tries to joke. “I just never thought I would ever get to experience family like this. Thank you for giving it to me.”
Svetlana has to travel back to Boston the very next day and Rose is miserable the entire ride to the airport. She wishes she could somehow squeeze into her suitcase and go with her. All that holds her together is the promise of seeing her girlfriend next month in LA. They must hug and say ‘I love you’ about fifteen times before Rose finally lets her go through to her gate.
Rose🩵: Have a safe flight and call me when you land
Rose🩵: I love you
Sveta💚: I love you too and I will
When she gets back to her parents’ house, she wallows in solitude. Or attempts to wallow while her nieces and nephews run amok, still high on chocolate and the excitement of brand new toys. A short while later, when the house is emptier and quieter because her parents have taken the grandkids sledding, she hears the soft pad of footsteps coming closer.
“I like her for you, you know.” Her eldest brother Charlie says as he perches on the arm of the lounger she’s curled up on.
Rose lifts her head. “Yeah?”
“Yeah. The couple of guys you’ve brought home weren’t you. I’m sure they were great for Hollywood superstar Rose Landry but they weren’t right for Michigan sweetheart Rose. The Rose who knows more hockey rules than the referees. The Rose who spoils her nieces and nephews every Christmas. The Rose who cleans out her brothers every time they play cards. The Rose who—“
“Okay, okay, I get it!” Rose laughs and pushes him off the chair.
“I’m serious! I know you two have only been together for a short while but I can already tell you’re more yourself with her. Now stop moping and come help me cheat at Monopoly.”
“And how do you suppose we cheat at Monopoly?”
Charlie looks at her like she’s got air between her ears. “You’ll be the banker and slip me extra money when everyone else is distracted.”
“And what’s in it for me?”
“Extreme gratification in helping your favourite brother win.”
Rose just rolls her eyes but dutifully follows him into the den where her other two brothers and her sisters-in-law have already started setting up the game.
She’s so grateful for this family.
In the year after New York, paparazzi and fans take a multitude of pictures of her and Svetlana but no one ever puts two and two together.
Some of her friends call it a privilege — she calls it wildly unfair — that she and her girlfriend are never assumed to be together.
Headlines read Rose Landry And New Pal Flaunt Friendship Bracelets and Rose Landry Treats Bestie To Retail Therapy all while linking her to men she wouldn’t even spit on if they were on fire.
Her friends tease her about it endlessly.
Miles Smiles🕺🏿: Girl, I thought I was your best friend 😔
Rosey Posey💃🏼: You’re on thin ice, buddy
Miles Smiles🕺🏿: Where’s my shopping spree?
Miles Smiles🕺🏿: You don’t love me anymore?
Rosey Posey💃🏼: I’m blocking you.
After what happened to Shane and Ilya, she feels bad about wanting tabloids to speculate about her relationship but she knows that if either she or Svetlana were a man, the general public would think they were practically married.
Leading up to their one year anniversary, they talk about going public. Most of their friends and family know but Rose is tired of the assumption that Svetlana is just a friend to her when in actuality, she’s everything to her.
There are varying reactions to her coming out but the common thread is that they’re happy for her and for the both of them. When she tells her glam team, her hair stylist, Taylor, jumps up in celebration and collects twenty dollar bills from everyone in the room. Rose doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry. She decides on both. She’s so lucky to have such accepting (and perceptive) people around her.
Svetlana, on the other hand, has already been out to her friends and chosen family for years but their jaws still drop when she tells them the name of her new girlfriend.
Exactly one year after that night at Foxglove, Rose decides to share a photo of the two of them to her Instagram story.
Sveta💚: Have you posted it yet?
Rose🩵: Just did
Rose🩵: I love you no matter what happens
Sveta💚: Same
Rose🩵: Say it back 🙄
Sveta💚: 😂
Sveta💚: I love you too
Sveta💚: No matter what
It’s a photo that was taken months ago in Boston two days before Valentine’s Day. Rose had an event to attend on that day, planned out before they had even become a thing so their compromise was for her to come and spend a few days with Svetlana beforehand.
In the photo, a selfie taken by Rose, they’re sitting on a park bench and Svetlana is kissing her on the cheek. Rose adds a caption at the bottom of the screen. One year with the love of my life 👩🏼❤️💋👩🏽, here’s to many more 🥂. @sveta.vetrova
She mutes her phone for the rest of the day. She does check her account sporadically to gauge the response and thankfully, it’s overwhelmingly positive. Hundreds of thousands of people like her story and her friends and family send her loving DMs, affirming what they said to her when she first came out to them privately.
thespianmiles: replied to your story — Y’all cute or whatever 🙄
frankie.dimarco: replied to your story — Happy anniversary!
papa_landry: replied to your story — 👍
shanehollanderhockeyplayer: replied to your story — I know I say this all the time but I’m so happy for the both of you
She also gets messages from other actors and people in the industry. DMs, texts and emails that all say things along the line of ‘We love and support you’. But what she was maybe not expecting so much of was an outpouring of messages from closeted public figures. Some anonymous, some not.
Her team had warned her about coming out publicly. That she may be shoehorned into playing only queer roles, that her performances may be discounted, that she may be snubbed when it came to awards season but Rose couldn’t bring herself to care much about that. She’d have no accolades and play a litany of lesbian librarians to an empty audience if it meant she could love her girlfriend out loud. And after reading through the messages from other people in her industry who were terrified to come out yet, she’s glad she’s done it.
If she’s able to inspire just one person then it’s all worth it.
Four and a half years after New York, Svetlana accompanies Rose to the Golden Globes red carpet. They’re a power couple, there’s no doubt about it. Before they even get into the venue, photos of the pair are already starting to go viral on several social media sites.
Rose is nominated for her work in a quasi-biopic where she plays a fictionalised Billie Jean King.
When she wins, she leans over to kiss Svetlana to raucous cheers before taking the stage. Her acceptance speech is heartfelt and inspiring and before they play her off, she has time for one more mention.
“And last, but definitely not least, I’d like to thank my wonderful, beautiful, supportive fiancée Sveta. Without you, I wouldn’t be able to stand here in all of my truth. I’m so grateful you asked to be my friend all those years ago. I love you.”