Chapter Text
Day 31
Alicent Hightower stood by the train tracks, one hand on her belly and the other holding a small suitcase, still unable to believe that nearly fifteen years of her life fit into such a small space. If she looked like the protagonist of an old movie, they'd be right. Maybe it was the dark green trench coat that gave her that mysterious air, or maybe it was the hat with the veil.
Maybe it was dramatic, but it was her style and one of the few things her father allowed her to have. The most colorful thing about her was her lips, red as blood, red as the colors of the man she loved, and red as the pair of tickets resting on the dresser of a house that was no longer hers.
They were a gift.
Daemon had terrible musical taste; in life, he would never go with her to a bolero concert… and she knew that well when she bought them, yet she did it anyway… they weren't a gift for Daemon, it was a gift for herself, a farewell gift, a gift that said it was time to leave.
With her free hand, she pulls her old iPod and headphones from her pocket.
The journey ahead of her is going to be long and she'll need music to endure it.
She turns it on, searches through all her songs until she finds the one that's been in her head since she left home, ending a years-long marriage that never should have been.
I did it, I left you
I did it and I walked away
Crying and without thinking
If it was wrong or if it was right
And even though I miss you sometimes
It's the smoke of what once wasI did it, I left you
What we had is gone
The strength in my hands ran out
And I let you go
We carried so much life
Having each other was only losingBut if someone asks me if I loved you
I'll only know how to say that I adored you
There's no need to interpret my scars
My silence explains exactly how it was
But if someone asks me if I loved you
I'll only know how to say how much I loved you
I'll tell them that we were once happy
And no one here can deny that I triedI did it, I left you
I did it and I walked away
The strength in my hands ran out
And I let you go
We carried so much life
Having each other was only losingBut if someone asks me if I loved you
I'll only know how to say that I adored you
There's no need to interpret my scars
My silence explains exactly how it was
But if someone asks me if I loved you
I'll only know how to say how much I loved you
I'll tell them that we were once happy
And no one here can deny that I tried
The train arrives and she gets on without looking back; after so much pain and so much betrayal, there's no point in waiting. She looks for her seat as the music plays in the background and her eyes fill with tears.
Divorced.
She is divorced. Her husband slept with her best friend, and she is the one who has to leave. She hates him. She hates them… but she hates herself more, because despite everything, she still loves them, because she has no idea how to live now, because she doesn't know how to be anything other than loyal to them, because for years all she did was try to save a marriage and a friendship that no longer exist.
She can't take it and, leaving her suitcase by the seat, she runs to the bathroom, throws up the little she has eaten, and there on the floor, shattered and disheveled, she finally breaks down in tears.