Archive of Our Own ^beta

The Zenin estate never seemed to lose the oppressive energy it was pregnant with, stifling the halls and hanging over it’s residents like a malicious fog.

It had been that way the entire time you lived here, and would likely continue on long after you were gone.

Naoto drifts peacefully in your arms, his chubby little fist curled tightly around the collar of your loosened gown, soft cheeks flushed red from suckling, lips still gulping hungrily at the steady flow of milk from your swollen breast.

Your son’s (and how odd that still sounds to you) mess of pitch black curls are combed back from his soft face, you’d not long ago bathed him before sitting down to feed him before bed

He truly is a beautiful boy you think, everyone within the walls of the estate remind you constantly of the fact, congratulating you on having done your duty so well.

Though you love your son more than you have ever loved anything in this life, their reverence sickens you.

The men of the clan swarm him assessing his size and cursed energy, both of which are quite large for a boy his age, a point of pride among the family.
The women of the clan treat your son as if he is the chosen one himself, already calling him young master, discussing his looks and potential to spawn more disgusting little zenin heirs for their glorified cult.

But you’re all too aware of the hushed conversations they have about your sweet boy behind closed doors.

They’re afraid of him, afraid of his power, his potential, especially considering he’s Naobito’s first grandchild and Naoya’s son.

You can hardly blame them for that much you consider, tracing a finger down his round chubby cheek.

He looks just like him, as much as it pains you to admit, you barely got a look in, Naoto being the spitting image of his father, and as the older clan members tell it, a young Naobito as well.

You can only hope that somehow the love you provide him with will be enough to stop him becoming like his father in every other sense.

Morosely you find yourself wondering as you often do what great acts of evil you must have committed in a past life to be dealt the hand you have.

You had never wanted children, had never wanted marriage, never wanted to be another cog in the soul-crushing machine that is the clan politics of jujutsu society.

You were unlucky enough to be born into not just one of the 3 major clans but the Gojo clan of all things.

Though your mother and father were small offshoots of the family, not birthed high enough or close enough to the main bloodline to have a seat at the table, you were born strong enough that the clan took notice.

Not just the elders but the future heir Satoru Gojo too.

As distant cousins you and Satoru were vaguely aware of each other’s existence, as all children in the clan are, but after meeting formally at a clan function Satoru had decided you were the only person in the clan worth tolerating.
He had long since been removed from his parents at the Elder's behest and so when he latched onto you and wouldn’t let go the elders were powerless to put a stop to it, which meant a bump in status for your power hungry parents and however briefly a chance at freedom for you.

The elders saw Satoru’s interest in you as an opportunity to try to tamper his disrespectful attitude and frankly ungovernable behaviour.
It wasn’t easy for them to control the child that would be the strongest, and so they thought his fondness for you could be an unseen advantage.
What they hadn’t accounted for however was that you were all too happy to go along with your older cousin's rebellion.

Satoru enjoyed your quiet strength, and found a kindred spirit in you regarding your shared hatred for the higher-ups in the clan and jujutsu society.
The two of you were therefore inseparable for most of your childhood, which meant the elders couldn’t touch you in fear of incurring Satoru’s wrath, so for those few precious halcyon years of youth you were free, strong enough and ballsy enough to stand side by side with the strongest.

But it didn’t stay that way for long.

Naoya Zenin had first taken notice of you at a droll Clan gathering between the 3 pillars of jujutsu society, he’d approached to speak with Satoru, as was fitting for a future clan leader and a man blessed enough to be on par with the strongest, he thought.

He was taken aback by what he saw, instead of a boy of superior breeding and intellect like himself, he was met with an arrogant brat who sullied his power, bloodline and superiority by treating a girl as if she was more than that: a woman, something to sit silently and prettily behind the men in her life until the hole between her legs was fit to carry heirs.

He was insulted, how dare you speak to your betters so casually, how dare you seat yourself beside the boy who would be the strongest, and how dare Satoru even acknowledge you, much less introduce you as a friend, an equal.

The Gojo heir seemed bored with Naoya’s presence, barely affording him the time of day but quickly perked up to his cocky, energetic self as you interrupted to ask if he wanted to go spar in the training grounds, you! A silly little girl challenging a man?!

He saw red when he looked at you, really looked at you.

You were quite pretty he begrudgingly realised, shiny e/c eyes framed by thick lashes, your hair was eye catching, the dark shade overtaken by Snow White patches at the front, s/c skin soft and unmarred, not a single mark on you despite your ridiculous insistence on playing at manhood with your older cousin.

And most intriguing of all was your curse technique. The children at the gathering all flooded to the training grounds to watch the two Gojos spar.

Naoya couldn’t deny his interest upon seeing such a small girl use such an impressive technique.

Void walking, Satoru had proudly called it: the ability to traverse between the void and reality, he watched awestruck as you used your technique to cloak yourself in the very fabric of the void, blinking in and out of sight and even passing the infinity between Satoru and the world, a feat you were the only person on earth to pull off.

Your cousin just laughed, coaxing you on, correcting your form and praising you for every successful hit connected, it was infuriating.

He was the only one worthy to stand beside the strongest jujutsu sorcerers, not some arrogant little bitch cozying herself up to the Gojo heir.

Unknown to you your fate was sealed from so insignificant an encounter, marriage had been a topic of discussion with his father and the elders before despite his young age so Naoya felt no hesitation in pointing you out to him, the older man already too far into his cups had laughed at his son’s insistence, so young and already choosing a broodmare of his own, Naobito thought he was a chip off the old block, had bragged about his son’s taste to the men sharing drinks with him.

While the arrangements weren’t official until years later Naoya took it upon himself to lay claim to you.

Years of being tormented by the Zenin heir had made the two of you more than familiar with each other, you hated him, everyone knew it.

Naoya got a kick out of the constant back and forth, the way you fought him so hard, denying yourself your true purpose, it was all so delicious to him, what fun was there in having an obedient woman from the get go? He much preferred you, so will-full, so determined to be just like your cousin, it would be all the more satisfying, he thought, when he took that life you fought so hard to make reality from you, when he finally breaks you so he can mould you into the woman he wants you to be.

Satoru had gone off to study at the Tokyo Jujutsu campus, being 2 years younger you were left behind, for the first time in your life your cousin wasn’t there beside you thus presenting Naoya with a golden opportunity.

You were outside in the gardens talking with a few other children your age when Naoya found you the night of a gathering you were unaware was thrown in his and your honour to celebrate the joining of your families.

At 11 years old you had only become more beautiful, it was no secret among the families despite your non-traditional looks that you were in consideration for several possible pairings, many had approached the Gojo clan elders with marriage proposals, but Naobito had claimed you for his youngest son when you were little more than 5 years old.

A fact that you remained ignorant to at Naoya’s request, he wanted to be the one who broke it to you, wanted to see the look on your proud face when he told you that your fanciful little delusions of becoming a sorcerer were never to be, and that your cousin despite being the strongest couldn’t save you from him.

He’d slunk up beside you, quick and silent like a panther pouncing on its prey, glaring a pointed look at your companions to leave if they knew what was good for them, and they did, everyone knew not to question him, at 12 years old he already had a reputation as a cruel and spiteful young boy, one that got whatever he wanted no matter the cost.

“Zenin” you greeted, not a single inflection of emotion in your voice, you didn’t even deign to look up at him.

Had you been any other woman he might’ve appreciated it, but with you? No, he wanted your emotions: anger, hatred, happiness whatever they were as long as they were for him and him alone.

“I was wondering why all the birds had suddenly stopped singing” you continued, oblivious to his snake like eyes on you, the sleeves of your pale blue Houmongi rolled to your elbows, your hands scattering pellets for the Koi in the pond.

He was feeling generous so he thought he’d let you take the lead this once, and only once.
It would only make it more amusing for him when he showed his hand.

His silence must have unsettled you, your eyes flicking to him, then back down to the pond.

“Satoru isn’t here” you continued, hoping your nemesis would take the hint and vacate from your presence.

“I know” he grinned, aware of how his smile unsettled you.
“I’m here for you”

That had managed to catch your attention, he saw the way you startled at that, your eyes drifting from the pond to squint up at him.

“Why?”

Ignoring your question, he sat down beside you a little too close for comfort if the goosebumps crawling up your arms were any indication.

Still he played ignorance.

“What are you doing out here in the cold? Shouldn’t you be inside with the other women?” His words are calculated, reminding you of your place.

“No, they’re boring” you shrugged, much like this conversation but you wouldn’t tell him that until you figured out what his angle was, a scheming Naoya was not something you wanted to be taken unawares by.

“I suppose you’d rather be out here running amok like an untrained mutt” he couldn’t resist poking at you, you were always so cute whenever you were angry at him, as if you could ever actually oppose him.

“Woof” you deadpanned, focus shifting back to the greedy Koi.

He had almost forgotten you were as much a cheeky little shit as your cousin, and you would be lucky if he didn’t kill the lot of those stupid koi for daring to take your attention from him.

Reaching into the sleeve of his haori he retrieved a velvet box, dropping it unceremoniously into your lap.

“Here”

“What’s this?” You were squinting at him again, it was cute, like you were trying to figure him out.

“Good grief woman are you so slow you don’t know what a gift is?” He rolls his eyes with a huff.

“Wondering why I’m getting one from you actually” you hummed, turning the box over and back in your hands with a quizzical expression on your face.

“Open it” he encourages, or more like demands, because he isn’t giving you an option.

“If this blows up in my face I’ll be very upset with you” you declare, half serious, half joking.

he watches with smug expectation and thinly disguised glee as you shift the box further from your face, taking a deep breath before lifting its lid, one eye squinted as if expecting it to explode the second the lid is popped.

You relax, shoulders dropping as the lid is lifted completely, with no booby trap sprung.

Then your face falls.

It’s beautiful. The sheer terror on your face, the crest of the Zenin clan reflected back into your wide eyes, he wishes he could brand them like that, sear his ownership into your pretty irises so you and every other man fool enough to lay eyes on you would know you were his.

“What is this?” Your voice is thin and reedy, he can hear the way the words rattle like bones as they fight to claw up from your throat.

You look so pretty as you are now, his father was right, women are at their most beautiful when they’re afraid.

“You really are slow-”

“Not that!” You interrupt his teasing, he can see the trembling in your shoulders, the beads of sweat gathering at your temples.

He scoffs, rolling his eyes as he gathers the pin you’d recklessly let topple onto the ground in your panic, brushing it off on his chest before fixing it to your kimono, right above your breast.

“Don’t you know a claim when you see one?” His tone is all teeth, smug satisfaction and a nasty little smile that you’ve been on the receiving end of far too many times to count.

His hand drifts to your face then, tucking an errant flyaway behind your ear, you don’t even attempt to hide the way you flinch at that.

“This marks you as mine now” he hums, letting his thumb trace the soft curve of your cheek before falling back to his side.

Your pretty face twists in indignation, you push yourself to your feet, trying and failing to distance yourself from him.

“You- Satoru will never-”

He doesn’t let you finish.

“Satoru-Kun isn’t here anymore and the higher-ups are keeping him busy, far too busy to think of you” Naoya interrupts smoothly, his fists clenching at the mention of your cousin, he hated that the two of you were so close, practically conjoined, he couldn’t understand it, he hated his own siblings and cousins so why the hell were the two of you so close?

You should know he refuses to share what is his, but it’s fine, he’ll have plenty of time to educate you.

He smooths the wrinkles from your brow with his thumb, tender as a lover.

“it’s okay Y/N-chan” his tone was deceptively casual, as if he wasn’t blowing up your life right Infront of you.

“I’m here now. You’re 11 now aren’t you? Almost a woman” he hums, letting his eyes take you in greedily, even your body was pretty for a girl your age, already developing in all the right places, you we're perfectly suited to his strict tastes.

“He’ll come for me, he’ll know somethings wrong you don’t know hi-” your arguments are futile, and to be honest if he didn’t enjoy watching you squirm and struggle he wouldn’t allow you to continue defying him, but this is such fun! So he’ll Let you get it off your chest, call it closure.

“I’ll let you off this one time, a gift for our engagement. I know it must be a shock, a plain girl like you managing to catch the eye of the next head of the Zenin. It must be intimidating, Scary even, so I’ll forgive you for mentioning him in my presence” he drawls, all confidence and backhanded sarcasm, he couldn’t have you thinking you were too good for him after all. Women should be whittled down, as his father would say.

“But when we’re married you won’t speak his name again, nor any name but mine” he warns, taking your face into his hands again, thumbing at your cheek with quiet possession.

His eyes flick to your lips, so soft and inviting, he was to be your fiancé from this day onward, so stealing a kiss was more than acceptable right?

You flail as his intentions are made known to you, who does he think he is trying to kiss you after the way he's treated you.

“You can’t do this!” You struggle against him, tearing yourself away from him.

“You’re being awfully combative” he tuts, annoyed at you for pulling away from his affections, he was being kind by offering them to you, if you were any other woman he wouldn’t even bother. Don’t you know how special that makes you?

“you don’t have anything you want to tell me right? About you and Satoru-kun. You haven’t let him touch you, have you?” He can’t smother the jealousy that takes hold of him at the thought, if you dared let any man touch you he just might kill you where you stand, he'd regret it of course, but you would deserve it for being unfaithful to him.

“He’s my brother!” You scold, looking at him as if he’d said the most foul thing you’ve ever heard.

You’re disgusted at the accusation he can see that, but he doesn’t see why you’re acting all high and mighty about it. The Zenin clan was known to marry distant cousins to the main branch if techniques were worth being re-absorbed, surely the Gojo’s were beholden to the same traditions, why else would that six eyed fool waste his time with you?

“You’re barely related as I hear it, and I doubt that’d stop him regardless, I know it wouldn’t stop me” he smirks.

Your face scrunches in indignation, your hands tightening into fists at your side.

“You foul bastard”

He feels it then, that spike of cursed energy, the distortion in the air as you slip into the void.

He hasn’t spent all this time watching you, scheming, clenching his fists while Satoru and you play toy soldiers for no reason.

No he was observing, taking notes learning exactly how you move, how your technique functions.

Every clan gathering, every boring dinner party, every hour, every minute every second the two of you were even remotely in each other's orbit he was there, so when he finally got this moment from you, he could predict your reaction before you could even think of how you would react.

You swing but are stopped in your tracks, Naoya’s arms already wrapped tightly around you before you even realise he’s activated his technique.

“What-“ your voice is small, he can hear it in the way your words tremble that no one has ever been able to catch you in your cloaked form before.

“Shhh don’t work yourself up” he hums, pressing a chaste but lingering kiss to your temple.
“My old man was right, you women really are prone to fits of hysteria” he giggles.

the look on your face is priceless, all it took was stopping your little technique to rattle you to your core. Poor thing, they must have made you believe you were something special, your fool of a cousin must have let you believe you were strong.

How cruel of him, at least Naoya wouldn’t lie to you, No you will know you’re weak, and it will be okay, he can be plenty strong enough for the both of you, isn’t that what all girls want? To be 3 steps behind a strong man?

“Please. Don’t do this to me” you beg, all but defeated. What else could you do? You had no way of contacting Satoru, and the Gojo clan had been scheming to put you in your place ever since you went against their orders to treat the boy who was like your brother as if he was just a weapon.

If only you could get to your mother, or even your father! Surely they would help you, you weren’t always what they wanted you to be but they loved you right? Enough to want to spare their 11 year old from being married off into a clan of misogynistic woman abusers.

You’re about to try escaping again with your technique when a voice stops you in your tracks.

“Everything okay?” His father and your own stand side by side, but it’s Naobito that speaks up, sake bottle still loosely held in one hand, he gives you a pointed look, before looking back to his son.

“Yes Oton, Y/N-chan was just feeling emotional, she can’t believe I chose her to be my bride, isn’t that right?” Naoya hums, gently swaying you in his arms, pretending to be a caring young man, no doubt for the benefit of your father.

Your gaze seeks his own, you know you haven’t ever been the perfect daughter and your father had always wanted a son, but he wouldn’t let this happen to you would he? Your grandfather had adored you, had told your father to always cherish you even if you weren’t the boy he wanted.

And your father loved his father, surely he wouldn’t go against the late man’s wishes.

Your father turns from your pleading gaze, smiling at Naoya.

“We’re honoured to be welcomed into your family, I’m sure my daughter will do everything she can to become the ideal wife for you Zenin-San”

Your heart shatters.

You could do nothing but bury your face in Naoya’s chest as a sob claws up your throat, soaking his haori with your tears, hiding your shame from his father and your own.

Was it not enough you had to be weak in front of Naoya, now you had an audience.

And your father, you couldn’t bear to look at him knowing he’d had a hand in this, knowing he would happily hand you over to these wretched Zenin animals.

And so you cling to the monster who orchestrated all of this, because who else do you have to cling to now?

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It wasn’t until you were 17 that you were officially married to Naoya.

You’d been living in the Zenin estate 6 years.
The day after what you later found out was your engagement party, you had been forcibly removed from the Gojo clan entirely, a formality insisted upon by your father in law and his wretch of an heir.

Your parents hadn’t even been there to see you off, didn’t offer you so much as a goodbye or a good riddance.

the servants walked you from your home to the expensive black car your Fiancé waited in, you weren’t permitted to bring anything from home, but you stuffed the well-loved old teddy bear Satoru had given you for your 4th birthday inside the pocket dimension within the void, it was all you had of your old life, the only thing you would not compromise.

6 years of torment, of being a glorified servant/punching bag, a slave to the whims of an arrogant and cruel brat.
Naoya had only become more obsessed with you as the years went on.

Every waking moment of your life was dedicated to him and his often shifting moods.

You would wake at 4 am every morning with the other women of the clan, wash, dress and begin making his breakfast; he refused to eat meals cooked by the ordinary staff now that he had a fiancé to cook for him.

“A woman who can’t cook for her husband is worthless and should be stabbed in the back and die”

In the early days of your engagement you would contemplate poisoning him, serving him a piping hot meal of death, watching him choke and gag and bleed and die while you smiled from the table across from him, but your fantasies were stamped out quickly by the woman assigned to be your teacher.

Naoya’s aunt was a stern woman, you had hoped desperately upon meeting her that you had found a friend in this new life, she was a mother after all, and you were still a child whether the Zenin clan acknowledged it or otherwise.

You were so desperate, so lonely and scared, you wanted your mother but you would settle for anyone if only to feel that love and care you craved so much.

You didn’t even know her name, she refused to tell you, refused to even learn your own.

To you she was “Okusan” and she called you only “girl”

“Wake up, girl”

“Stop slouching, girl”

“Fix your hair, girl”

“Do not speak unless spoken to girl”

You had thought seeing as she was mistreated by her own husband and Naoya himself that she would sympathise with you, but instead she seemed only too happy to take the awfulness opposed upon her and drop it into your lap like pass the parcel, a habit among the Zenin clan.

She had caught you contemplating it once, you had forgotten yourself, had paused the preparation of Naoya’s breakfast to watch a conversation between some of the kitchen staff.

There was a problem with some of the supplies in the pantry being chewed into by pests, one of the staff was informing another of rat poison, where to set it up, how much to use, where it was stored.

She’d entered the kitchens herself to start breakfast for Ougi and her daughters when she saw the interest on your face, caught the way you listened a little too intently.

Her pale hands slammed down on the bench before you, startling you so bad you cut your finger on the knife you were clenching.

“Don’t be a fool, girl” she spat, leaning in close, her voice only for the two of you.

From that day onwards she personally kept an eye on you while carrying out your duties, always a step behind you, your own personal shadow.

Naoya had of course noticed, finding amusement in the fact you’d tried to kill him in so blatantly obvious a manner, he’d giggled over it while you sat as ordered in his lap to feed him breakfast, because god forbid the man have to lift his own chopsticks, if he could get away with making you chew his food and depositing it in his mouth like a mother bird, you suspect he would demand it of you.

“I didn’t think a woman so proud as you would resort to poison” he’d mused, taking your finger in the hand not wrapped securely around your waist to inspect the cut you’d bandaged that morning.

“I always imagined you’d go for the throat with a blade, that little kunai you keep clenched to your chest while you sleep maybe?”

His lips pressed atop the bandages, kissing your wound in what would surely be a tender moment were he anyone else.

But those piercing eyes of his revealed no warmth nor affection, just a cold warning that he knew your every move, your every thought.

“If my uncle’s bitch is bothering you I can always set her back in place for you Y/N-chan. You outrank her after all, my wife shouldn’t be taking orders from a disgrace who couldn’t even fulfil her basic duty as a woman” he spits, his hand tightening on your hip as he seems to work himself up even more on your behalf for this perceived slight against you.

You move to direct his attention back to you, caressing his cheek the way he liked.

Physical affection was the easiest way to get what you wanted from him after all, and he knew you would give it up to him if you wanted something bad enough. bastard.

“No please, it doesn’t bother me” you promise, you couldn’t bear to stoop so low, to give into cruelty like everyone else in this rotten clan.

His Aunt was far from a friend to you, but you wouldn’t dare put her in Naoya’s path.

If there was one thing you could do in this marriage it was spare others from Naoya’s ire.

“How benevolent my darling is, so quick to forgive, even those who don’t deserve it” he sighs, mocking you of course.

‘Soft’ he always teased you about being soft, but still that flare of jealousy shone through in his sharp gaze.

No one was worthy of your kindness but him, and you knew you had made a mistake in trying to spare his aunt, your attempt at mercy, if you could call it that had only given Naoya something else to hate her for.

So your routine continued, wake Naoya at 5:00 am, bathe him, dress him, feed him, kiss him at 6:30 am before he left to do his training with his father and on mornings when the ‘esteemed’ master was sleeping off a particularly intense hangover, he would train with his uncle and the Hei.
Wash his dishes, eat your own modest breakfast in 5 minutes so you had time to clean his room spotless and hand wash his expensive custom made clothing. 12:00 pm you would cook his lunch and sit to eat with him until 12:40 pm when you would assist him in changing out of his training clothes, then he would leave again for his lessons or his clan duties with his father.
From 1:00 pm you would attend your own lessons with the elder wives of the clan where they would lecture you in ‘womanly duties’ which was a fancy way of saying they would order you how to talk, sit, move, even breathe with only Naoya’s pleasure in mind.
At 5:00 pm you would be done with your forced reprogramming and begin preparing his dinner. Then you would sit beside him as he ate with his father, brothers, uncle and older cousin.
This in particular you dreaded most, his father was cruel and leering, and his sons, Naoya’s half brothers, were lecherous, his uncle was downright antagonistic and Naoya was far too easy to rile up.
A look from one of his brothers, his father even saying your name and you were the subject of his cruelty for the rest of the day.
6:00pm you would clean his dishes and prepare him tea while he studied or handled tasks for his father that the old bastard couldn’t be bothered with.
At 8:00pm you would bathe, together this time, though Naoya was insistent on waiting until your wedding night to ‘fulfil your duties’ he was still a teenage boy at the end of the day, and his ‘reward’ for patience was at least being able to look to his heart’s content.
9:00pm you would prepare his futon and your own beside him, he would scold you every night for setting yours a little too far from his own, but still you would rebel in the only way you could.
10:00pm you would both lay down, Naoya would find your hand across the space between you and begin talking about his day, his plans for the future, whoever managed to gain his ire that particular day, and when he was on the cusp of sleep he would talk about you, small insignificant things bubbling up as he drifted off, he liked your hair a certain way, he likes your new perfume, he wants you to wear your green kimono tomorrow, the one that matches his eyes.
When he was finally asleep when the estate was silent and the servants had retired to their quarters at 1:00am you would turn away from him, slipping your hand from his grasp and cry for yourself, for Satoru, for your mother and father who would not save you.

Days passed like that, then months, then years and somehow without your notice, without your permission you were 17 years old, Naoya 18, and you were to be wed.

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The ceremony itself was extravagant and far too over the top for what felt to you like a rope around your neck and the floor falling out from beneath you.

Sorcerers and elders both renowned and less so flooded the Zenin estate.

For months leading up to the wedding the clan was abuzz, everything was to be carried out perfectly.
You didn’t even have a say in any aspect of your own marriage, not that you’d ever given a shit about it.

When you imagined your future all those years ago before Naoya, when you were small and full of hope you imagined yourself and Satoru atop the world, a world where strength was the decider, not birth nor gender, or the irrelevant opinions of dying old men.

The only man you ever imagined yourself being tied to was your brother, you would both be sorcerers, best friends and as long as you could fight for Satoru’s beliefs you would be happy.

how naïve your dreams were.

You’d sat through the ceremony like the porcelain doll your grandfather had gifted you as a baby, silent, stiff and beautiful. You wondered if your parents had thrown her out like you, if anything in your room at the Gojo estate remained at all.

Naoya couldn’t take his eyes off you, it was everything he’d ever wanted in this moment.
This must be how Toji-kun felt, he thought.

To have the strength and will to make heaven and earth move for him, obey his command and lead you both right here where you were always meant to be.

He’d heard his cousin married too, before the incident at Jujutsu high, but he highly doubted Toji’s bride was as perfect as his own.

The sake you shared was ash on your tongue, a lone crystalline tear rolling down your cheek as your union was sealed with a kiss that Naoya deepened more than proper, of course, you weren’t sure if it was to humiliate you even further in front of the vultures surrounding you or out of his own twisted desire for you.

You experienced your marriage as if through a foggy Lens, far removed from your body floating somewhere in the void.

One minute you were bowing before your audience and the next you were being pulled to stand by Naoya, the entirety of guests and clan members clapping as you slowly woke as if from a dream.

Your heart beat violently to the beat of every clap, you knew exactly what this meant for you, the elder wives had told you what was expected of you on your wedding night, but you had blindly hoped the day would never come.

Naoya in his eagerness had swept you off your feet, showing off his cursed technique to take you to your marital bed.

Cheers and congratulations echoed behind you both, all men of course, you could hear the laughter and crude comments they shouted after Naoya, encouraging him to do his duty.

You were petrified, shaking like a leaf as your gaze swept the room prepared for your consummation, thin paper walls surrounded the large futon in the centre of the room, candles outside illuminating the horrific sight of seats, rows upon rows surrounding the room, just beyond those thin paper walls.

How fitting that the clan that prized the 10 shadows technique would have a glorified shadow box for the occasion.

Zenin men rushed to fill the seats, their faces not visible just their silhouettes, but that did nothing to ease your distress, Nor dampen the intensity of their eyes on you.

“Naoya they-“ you could scarcely get the words out, your eyes scanning your audience to be, your frantic turning causing you to feel dizzy, stomach twisting up inside until you began to feel sick from physical fear.

He must catch what you mean, because he huffs, as if you’ve said something so stupid it’s funny.

“It’s expected. they need to watch, to make sure you do your duty” his explanation was flippant, as if he wasn’t telling you an entire council of dirty old men were here to witness him take you by force.

It was barbaric, inhumane. Not even the Gojo clan were this insane. For god’s sake you were freshly turned 17.

“Please, no. Make them go away please!” You found yourself clinging to him again, as if he could protect you from the men outside, as if he wasn’t the reason you were in this mess. But he was also all you had, who else could you run to?

He sighed, brushing his perfectly styled hair back from his forehead.

“Don’t pull this shit with me now Y/N” he sighs, you almost got the feeling he enjoyed your little tantrums.

He was always like that, even as a little boy he would pull your hair or call you names just to be on the receiving end of your attention, negative or otherwise.

He smirked then as something seemed to spark in his mind.

“I can always ask my useless brothers to hold you down if that’d make it easier for you” his laugh was cruel and echoed, to your ever rising panic, by the men behind the shoji screens.

They were all there, lined up in rows as if audience members at a play, laughing at you, at your futile attempts to conserve even a shred of your dignity.

You couldn’t do this.

Fear perhaps the strongest you’d ever felt in your life crawled beneath your skin, setting your blood alight, your heart beat so hard in your chest it felt like it would burst from behind your Rib cage and run out of the room itself.

The cursed energy you had been neglecting since you were taken from your family bubbled inside you, unbeknownst to you but caught by Naoya’s intense gaze your fingers had begun being taken over by the void, your body preparing itself to slip into the abyss between realities. Out of his reach.

“I’m scared. I want my brother, I want Satoru!” The admission explodes from behind your lips before you can stop yourself, somewhere in the back of your mind you realise how childish you sound begging for Satoru like you were 5 years old again.

After all it’s been years and you still haven’t heard from him, the last information you’d gotten from Naoya about your brother was that he’d killed Naoya’s cousin, a man Naoya admired deeply.

You had been punished by him for Satoru’s actions of course, after all he couldn’t even think of laying a finger on the real source of his anger.

But still you held out hope that Satoru would come for you, that he hadn’t forgotten you.

The strike lands hard, your head cracking to the side, the sound echoes in the room and you fall back against the futon from the force of it, your cursed energy pacified from his own, effectively shocking your body out of its futile attempt to protect you.

Red hot pain swallows your face, tears burn in your eyes and you’re so dazed and shocked from it that you can do nothing but stare up at Naoya, eyes wide, sobs beginning to rack your chest, your hand shakily reaches to touch the corner of your mouth, and pulls away wet with blood.

Your vision swims with tears as you realise he’s cut your lip, with his wedding ring no less.

The candlelight casts his frame in harsh shadows, his face half obscured, those terrifying snake like eyes piercing you like a knife “You know better than to speak his name Infront of me” he’s grinning, no doubt amused at having put you in your place, but there is nothing but fury behind his teeth.

He hit me, you think numbly. Your pride fracturing like glass beneath you.
this isn’t what you were meant for. Didn’t Satoru always call you strong? Didn’t he believe in you? he said so himself, that you could join him at jujutsu tech when you were of age, and the two of you would change the world of sorcery together.

But that was years ago and he’d all but forgotten about you now hadn’t he?

When you were a child your father had struck you in a similar manner, for something as innocent as declaring you’d be a jujutsu sorcerer one day.

Satoru had found out, had hugged you tightly, even offered to kill your father for daring to raise his hand to you. If only you had the foresight to accept his offer back then.

“we’ll show them, Lil sis. Dry your tears, never let them see you cry” he’d told you.

You’d failed at that too.

Naoya shrugs his haori from his shoulders, sighing in that usual smug way of his.

“I’ve waited so long for this. I’ve been patient and accommodating where I honestly didn’t need to be, and you’re ruining it for me” he hisses, glaring down at you like you’re a particularly unruly pup he’s bringing to heel.

He undresses himself with elegant precision, every movement accounted for until he stands bare Infront of you.

“Fix your face, you should be honoured, should be kissing my damn feet”

He is handsome you admit, conventionally attractive in every way, his body defined and honed to a knife’s edge, his face handsome and his voice and confidence something many young women your age would surely fawn over.

Were you anyone else you would surely be infatuated with him, but you are only who you have always been and seeing him standing over you, expectant and resplendent in all his glory is like gazing into the jaws of death.

He’s large.. Down there. You’ve only ever seen him naked before, had only him as a point of reference, but you know he must be bigger than the average man.

If every man was as well-endowed as Naoya you highly doubted women would enjoy sex at all, though if the older wives in the clan were anything to go by pleasure was not a thing for women, the only pleasure a woman could feel was in birthing strong sons, as they would often tell you.

You wish you felt any kind of attraction for him, any sexual desire whatsoever, but you just can’t.
Perhaps it’s because you were a late bloomer, or maybe something is wrong with you, but you don’t find yourself aroused or hungry for him the way he is for you.

You were too scared to admit it to him, to ask him about your body and the things you feel, or don’t feel, so you held your tongue and pretended you could feel the same way as him, it was easier than defying him.

You know what’s expected of you, and you know your personal feelings on the matter don’t hold any weight, so what use is there in beating yourself up over it?

“Unless you want me to fix it for you?” He grins, moving towards you as if to strike you again.

“I’m sorry! I just- I thought I was for you only” you shriek, hands fisted in the silk of the Shiromuku separating you from him, as if you could force it to remain on your body through sheer will alone.

“You really are just a weak little girl aren’t you Y/N?” He sighs wistfully, as if he’s gently telling a young child that Santa doesn’t really exist. he’s enjoying this far more than he’s letting on which is saying something, you and every man lined up outside know that spitting on those lesser than him is Naoya’s greatest pleasure in life.

“I could see it, always could. Even when you pretended you were anything but I knew deep down you were always begging for a man to come save you” his words are just the right amount of condescending to anger you, and just the right amount of taunting that you know you can’t do anything about it.

He wants your defiance, wants a reason to have to punish you in front of his father and his family.

“I’m that man. Your precious ‘brother’ left you behind like you were nothing, your father tossed you aside for some coins in his pocket and a minor seat at the table”

His words are cruel, tearing at your soft underbelly and hitting their mark as they so often do.

Your father hadn’t even spoken a word to you as he handed you off to Naoya, he didn’t even have the consideration to look you in the eye.

You hadn’t even seen your mother tonight, you hoped it was because she couldn’t bear to lose you and not the more likely reason that she couldn’t be bothered even speaking to you.

What would your parents think if they could see you right now, would they regret it? Or would they simply turn their backs on the sight like they did everything else.

Naoya crawls over you now, not unlike a predator descending on its long hunted prey.

“Submit to me, accept me. You were made to be my wife, to carry my sons, to walk 3 steps behind me always in life”

You tremble as his hands trace over your kimono, feeling the lines of your body through the restrictive layers.

“I own you. So lay back and let me have what I deserve”

His hands tear at the expensive fabric covering your chest, the once beautiful garment tearing with a sharp rip, your breasts bounce at the violence of his need, his sharp eyes already staring before you can think to cover yourself.

“Fuck” he groans, abandoning his undressing of you to cup the globes of your chest in his hands, pushing them up and together.

You were denied undergarments by the older women responsible for dressing you.

“The young master isn’t blessed with patience, you’ll have no use for them tonight” they’d giggled amongst themselves, treating you like a slab of meat being tossed into a lion’s den, a sacrifice to save the herd.

Naoya’s aunt had caught your wrist as you were being walked down from the main house to the venue by the handmaidens.

“You look a proper Zenin wife now” she smiled serenely, but behind her dark eyes there was only sorrow, the knowing kind.

Before you could say anything she had leant closer to you, making sure you were looking into her eyes.

“It will hurt. Zenin men are known for their strength after all. If you lay down and don’t fight it, perhaps you’ll be able to walk the next morning” her advice was sage, spoken from experience, and meant only for your ears, in a gesture entirely unlike her she squeezed your trembling hands in her own, bowing before stepping back from you.

“Thank you” you had managed to whisper to her through the lump in your throat, you tried to smile but found you couldn’t.

You force yourself to go limp against the futon, letting your hands slip beside you to tangle in the sheets, you wanted no part in this, but perhaps if you followed her advice it would be over sooner.

“That’s better, you’re learning your place, wife” Naoya grinned, his hands gliding in reverence down to the fabric still keeping your lower half secret from his ravenous gaze.

He had of course seen you bare for him routinely every night, but you were always so shy, covering yourself from him, skin flushed red and voice pitched up in embarrassment while you bathed him, he’d allowed you that much.

In fact he thought your prudish behaviour was sweet, endearing even, and Proof of your virtue, it made undressing you tonight that much sweeter.

As the last of your kimono is torn from you, goosebumps consume your flesh, you’re exposed to the temperature of the room, and the hungry eyes of its occupants.

Naoya’s hands caress your soft skin, tracing your frame with quiet admiration, his pupils blown wide.

“Beautiful. Nothing less is satisfactory for a man like me” pride was evident in his tone and the spark in his eyes.

You turned your face from him, focusing on the tatami floor beside you both.

His gaze was too cruel, and you couldn’t bear to look as he took something that was supposed to be special from you, something that was supposed to be given willingly.

But of course, Naoya was none too pleased at your attempt to dissociate yourself from the situation and himself.

His fingers bit into the meat of your cheeks as he forced you to turn back to him.
You would be surprised if you woke in the morning without finger-tipped shaped bruises covering you face.

“Don’t turn away from me, I want you to see when I make you mine” he declared against your lips, smashing his own against them and quickly seeking to dominate your mouth.

Though it was loathsome and degrading you allowed him to kiss you, parting your lips with closed eyes, following his lead and returning his kiss.

Naoya had taught you how best to kiss him too, after all.

Your body twitches and jumps beneath his hands as he trails his palm down your stomach, his fingers slipping between your bodies to the opening at your clenched thighs.

“Spread your legs, let me see” he hums against your ear.

Shakily you manage to separate them through the shudders taking hold of your body, your toes curling into the futon as your thighs rest on either side of Naoya’s hips.

To your absolute horror, you hear with startling clarity the sound of your audience members shifting in their seats, the creaking of the furniture echoing in the room as they lean in to share Naoya’s inspection of your womanhood.

“They’re staring, can you feel them? Dirty old bastards probably never seen pussy like yours in their lives” he grins, smug in the knowledge that he would be the only man to ever touch you like this.

Tears slipped down your cheeks again at the indignation of it all, and like that night he had pinned you with the Zenin crest so long ago, you allow yourself to cling to him, your hands reaching up to hold him, face burrowing into his neck to hide your shame.

Better the devil you know, as they say.

“You’re perfect like this” he coos, your body pulling taught as he grinds his cock against you, the sensation is strange, your stomach feels tight, clenching in fear but you can feel the heat blooming between your thighs Every time the head of his cock catches on your clit.

You can’t fight the little gasps spilling from your parted lips, so you do your best to contain them for Naoya’s ears only.

“You’re wet” he grins against your lips, pulling back to spread your pussy lips apart with his thumbs, you’ve never seen him look so happy you think, so hungry and desperate for something, ashamed of yourself for finding the smallest hint of pride in the fact he finds your body so beautiful, that at least he wants you.

What he says next is quick to snap you out of the thought.

“Hold still, I don’t plan on going slow”

Your eyes widen, a protest already bubbling in your throat but before you can so much as open your mouth he’s forcing himself inside you.

Sharp pain blooms in your core, spreading outwards like vibrations through a spider web, the air is punched from your lungs violently, like you’ve been submerged in freezing water.

Your vision swims and you feel distant from yourself like your mind can’t catch up to your body.

Someone’s crying, you realise, is that me?

Your eyes drift down to where the pain and tearing sensation throbs outward, you see red, blood dripping down his cock as it pumps in and out of you.

You were aware blood was natural when losing your virginity, but you were wholly unprepared for the pain that came with the tearing of your Hymen.

“Fuck you’re tight. Ease up you’re gonna strangle me” he moans, fingers digging into you as he tries to adjust to the sensation of being inside you.

“Naoya” you gasp through clenched teeth, tears slipping down your face “it hurts”

“Good, that means you weren’t lying about being a virgin” he snarks, ignoring your concern completely in favour of chasing his own pleasure.

You didn’t expect anything less, but it still hurts you somehow.

His thrusts are deep and forceful, the sound of his hips smacking your ass with every movement somehow overtaking the sobs of pain you can’t smother completely.

The sound of your joining is too lewd for you to bear, the slick rhythmic ‘Plap! Plap! Plap!” Only worsening the deep humiliation consuming you.

You shouldn’t look but you can’t help it, your eyes flicking over Naoya’s shoulders to the silhouettes behind the shoji, your witnesses watching in approving silence.

You can only close your eyes and try to forget that this violation will never be healed, that the most humiliating moment in your life is being broadcasted to these degenerates.

Of course Naoya won’t allow that though, when he feels your presence drifting he slaps your pussy, hard. Right over your clit.

He laughs at the way you squeal at the sharp sting, your pussy clenching tighter around him like a vice, only further encouraging him to keep slapping you again and again and again until your pussy is raw and swollen.

You can hear it then, you are crying, sobbing softly like a child, your throat is raw and you can do nothing but chant “stop stop stop!” Though it’s futile and you’re only hurting yourself as you fight to get away from him.

You thought you could handle this, that you could remove yourself from the situation, sink deep into your own mind and let him have his fun, but this isn’t what you were expecting, you thought surely he wouldn’t want to hurt you like this.

How stupid could you be?

You scramble to try and get away from him, but he laughs and holds you tighter, his fingers biting into your calves where he holds your legs wide open, your joints aching with the stretch.

“Where are you running to?” He grins, letting his weight fall over you, laughing to himself as your fists beat uselessly against his chest, he’s stolen the energy from your body, you find you can only cry and beg him to show you mercy.

This is how it should be, he thinks. This is what you were made for, at the end of the day no matter your cursed energy, no matter Satoru’s acknowledgement of you, you’re a weak little girl, like all the rest.

He’s power drunk from the knowledge he’s taken something precious from the strongest sorcerer alive, that coupled with the approving eyes of his family behind the shoji, and his love for you, because surely that’s what this feeling is isn’t it? Is only heightening his pleasure, and his violent need to chase this feeling until he tips over it, dragging you with him.

He had been faithful to you all these years, though he knew he need not be, he had no interest in whores that weren’t you, and only entertained their flirting and wandering hands because it was good for his ego.
You are the only one worthy of being beneath him, of this he is certain.

You weren’t aware of it then but his inexperience was another factor of his mistreatment of you, he bragged and put up a cocky front around his family but he was as virginal as you at the end of the day, and his family were no help in educating him in how to treat a woman.

He continues his assault of you, thinking your dramatics were just that, after all the men in his family said this was how sex was; dominance, power and pleasure, he was definitely feeling it.

Somewhere after the third or fourth round you had gone limp, your voice gone completely, letting Naoya manoeuvre you like a marionette as he sought his pleasure with single minded focus.

His appetite was too much for you to handle, the raw ache and the overwhelming sensations rendering you unable to do much of anything but gasp and cry.

Your body is sore deep inside of you, like he’d broken something, your mouth aching from his kisses, lips bruised and swollen, and your skin burned from friction, still he did not stop until sunlight began to creep through the walls of the estate.

You hovered somewhere between waking and dreaming, only letting the excruciating pain take you under completely when Naoya finally stills inside you for the last time and his arms pull your weight against his chest.

As you drifted in that cold cruelty you almost thought you heard the elders and his family clapping, but you couldn’t tell if that wasn’t just the beating of your heart.

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You had woken a day later, numb and blinking up at the ceiling in Naoya’s room as it shifted, fuzzy and barely discernible to your eye.

Judging by the light from the windows It looked to be about midday.

Naoya was nowhere to be seen and in fear of incurring his wrath you had tried to stand up out of bed only to find you couldn’t move your body.

Your eyes fluttered down to your hands, widening through your sluggishness as you realised a drip was passing fluid intravenously.

What happened?

You tried to call for Naoya but the words caught in your throat, dissolving against the rawness of it, like waves breaking up against rocks, producing only a startled groan.

You were about to try standing again when the door slid open, as if someone had sensed your panic.

You flinched, expecting your husband to storm in and berate you for being lazy, but it was his aunt who poked her head through the door, carrying a tray of tea.

“You’re awake” she hummed, closing the door behind her softly, as if she didn’t want anyone to hear you two.

She knelt beside you, pressing her cold hand to your forehead, your skin was clammy and you felt hot under your skin as if your blood was boiling, you groaned in pleasure as you chased the cold sensation, leaning into her palm gratefully.

You expected her to reprimand you, to tell you to sit up straight, but instead she tucked your hair back behind your ear and smiled sadly at you.

“Poor girl, my warning didn’t help much I see”

She must have understood the question in your scrunched expression, because she took a deep breath before sitting up a little straighter.

“You’re heavily medicated right now so you probably don’t remember much, that might be a blessing” she frowned, setting a straw in the cup to offer to you, you couldn’t move your arms very well so she simply held the straw to your mouth, you accepted it gratefully, smiling at her in thanks. the floral blend of the tea was cooled, the flavours subtle but delicious, the liquid soothing your raw throat as you sipped at it slowly.

“Your pelvis was fractured due to your husband’s.. Enthusiasm” she continued, carefully considering her words, the walls had ears in the Zenin Estate after all.

“You’ve been in surgery since yesterday, but your husband insisted you come home to recover, the family medics will take care of you” she set the cup back down beside her, wiping your lips gently with an embroidered handkerchief produced from her sleeve.

“Aside from that, you’ve sustained, tears and damage internally, you’re being given antibiotics and pain medication” she gestured to the drip then, before sighing.

Her hands clenched in her lap.

“I had to- I wanted to come see you” she admits, hesitating, you can’t blame her, if she wasn’t ordered to be here by the man himself you don’t want to imagine what Naoya would do if he caught her tending to you like this.

“The only female medics in the estate are midwives, and the men in this clan care not for a woman’s body, I needed to know that you were okay” she confesses, her hands restlessly petting your hair.

It was nice, how long had it been since you’d been touched by anyone but Naoya? It made you feel safe.

“You remind me of the previous mistress. She suffered greatly in this house, at the hands of her husband. I cared for her but.. I couldn’t help her. I don’t want to make the same mistakes again” she continues, her dark eyes finding your own again.

She looked so much younger like this you thought, vulnerable, it was uncomfortable almost to see her this way, she was so untouchable any other time.

It was awful of you, but seeing her like this had reminded you she was only human too.

Your hand found her own, weakly clasping it.
“thank you” your voice was foreign to you, crackling like static and stinging your throat, but you forced the words out anyway.

You had misjudged her, had rudely thought she was being critical of you, bullying you when she was only trying to keep you from getting hurt.

When you could manage to eke out more than 2 words at a time you would be sure to apologise.

A smile tugged at her own lips.

“Don’t strain yourself, rest. I’ll come check on you whenever I have a spare minute, if you need me ask one of the staff for me okay?”

You nodded, still unable to wipe the smile off your face, whatever pain medication they had you on must be high in quality, you thought.

She brushed your hair back from your face in a gesture that reminded you of your own mother, back when you were still her daughter.

“I should go, your husband has been hovering lately, he’ll be done with his training soon. Go back to sleep” she squeezed your hand one more time before standing, taking the tea tray with her, no doubt to get rid of the evidence.

You watched her leave with a heavy weight forming in your chest.

Of course Naoya did this to you, you’d expected the consummation of your marriage to be unpleasant, but waking up an entire day later with no memories of your coupling, laying broken in his bed was not what you had expected.

Though your memory was clouded you could only imagine what he’d done to you. Bastard.

Tears slipped down your face, soaking the collar of the loose gown the doctors must’ve dressed you in before leaving whatever hospital Naoya was forced to take you to.

The tears wouldn’t stop, and you found yourself gasping and sobbing like a child again, calling for your only hope in your mind because you couldn’t say his name within these walls.

Where are you Satoru?

The door slid open again, and you knew this time it wasn’t Naoya’s aunt, but the bastard himself.

You jumped, flinching as the door clattered loudly, slamming behind him as he rushed to your side.

You tried to distance yourself from him, fearing he’d come to finish the job and finally kill you, but you had the strength of a wet noodle and couldn’t even manage to shift away from him, never mind mount a great escape.

“Y/N” he dropped to his knees beside you, pulling you into his arms, mindful of the machines hooked up to you.

His heart beat rapidly against your chest, his hands swiping at the tears soaking your face.

He looks tired, you thought.

That was unusual for him, had he been worrying about you? Was that supposed to make it better?

He pulled back to speak with you, his mouth opening Then closing without saying a word, his eyes were angry, no doubt he was blaming you for being weak enough to be hurt by him, for not being strong enough to handle him.

It was just like him to be unwilling to admit fault or to be forced to apologise to a lowly woman like you.

If you had the energy you would’ve backhanded him, repercussions be damned, but you were too tired to even struggle against his hold on you.

You tried to say his name, to curse at him maybe but it came out as an intelligible noise from the back of your throat.

You were tired, your body forcing you back into sleep.

Through your fluttering eyelashes you managed to catch him pressing a kiss to the corner of your mouth where your lip seemed to be split, it stung a little, like his affections often did.

He cradled you in his arms like that with a strange look in his eye, one you’d never seen on him.

“I won’t hurt you again” you thought you heard him whisper, but you couldn’t be entirely sure, maybe your mind was telling you what you desperately wanted to hear in an effort to self-soothe.

Was he sad? You thought as sleep pulled you back under, what the hell did that mean?

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A year.

That’s how long it took for you to make a full recovery.

A year of him hovering around you like a persistent little fly, trying desperately to prove to you he wasn’t the monster he’d proven himself to be.

You couldn’t walk for 6 months, reduced to being ‘doted’ on by your loving husband and the servants, as if your pride wasn’t already broken and tattered, barely hanging on by a thread.

For the rest of those 12 months you couldn’t walk without a walking frame and gruelling physical therapy, Naoya had the bare decency to have a physician in the city assigned to you, so you didn’t have to be abused by one of the doctors from the clan.

You imagined if the clan doctors were responsible for your rehabilitation they’d have simply pretended female hysteria was all that was ailing you, and that you were faking your injuries for sympathy.

Your physical therapist was a surprisingly young woman, she had a fairly interesting career handling sports injuries and the like.
You were grateful for once that Naoya couldn’t bear to leave you unsupervised in a man’s company, doctor or not, because she was a big help in making you comfortable enough to be touched again.

You’d developed an aversion, well more like a full blown phobia, to any kind of physical contact following the recovery of your memories from that night.

Your husband was at the end of his rope, his possession of you unable to take the way you thrashed and screamed like a wild animal whenever he tried to hold you, to brush your hair from your thinning face, or even to hold your hand.

It was hell, you thought you’d endured enough suffering for a lifetime but your husband’s show of strength that night had opened you up to a whole new level of agony.

The only light you could find at the end of the tunnel was that Naoya was just as miserable as you were, and you were safe from your womanly duties until your body repaired.

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Though not for lack of trying on Naoya’s part you didn’t get pregnant until you were 20 and he was 21, 2 years after you’d recovered fully.

There were many concerns among the clan’s higher ups that Naoya’s recklessness on your wedding night had affected your ability to reproduce, and your sanity.

It was one of the Major concerns the doctors had about you during your recovery period, and it was discussed so much you’d begun to fret over it too, so much so that Naoya had even started worrying about it, hesitating in initiating sex with you in fear of hurting you again, or damaging your future chances at providing him with a son.

With your recovery in mind Naoya had assured you he didn’t really care when you got pregnant as long as you gave him an heir eventually, which directly contradicted his need to cum inside you at least 4 times a day but you found no point in bringing that up to him, after a long recovery period and Naoya actually taking the time and initiative to make sex pleasurable for the both of you, after all painful sex was declared a possible issue you might struggle with for some time, you found you somewhat enjoyed the intimacy shared between you, he was easier to understand when it came to sex, and it was easier for you to accept his affection.
That way you could blame your desire on your body’s response to stimulation, and not your emotional need to be close to him.

It was a hard thing to come to grips with, the fact that a man who could hurt you like this was your only solace in the misery he’d carved out for you.

He was of course already lined up to be the next clan leader with no known opposition, given that his older brothers were all ‘useless meat sacks worth even less than women’ in his own words, and he planned on living for a long time so as long as you spat out a little carbon copy of him before you were past your prime as a woman, as he put it, the two of you would have no issue.

It was his father that insisted you get pregnant sooner rather than later, he was as professional as a man like him could be about it.

“I’m getting sentimental in my old age” he’d said, a notion you’d seriously doubted given the man had as many neglected children as he did hangovers.

“So you and my son will give me a grandkid, and you’ll make sure it’s a grandson if you want the little tyke to live of course. my brother disgraced the family well enough the first time, we don’t need any more girls” he’d chuckled, as if discussing the weather, and not the life of a child, his grandchild.

You could do nothing but nod in silence, too afraid you’d tell him it’ll be a cold day in hell before you ever spat out another little Zenin prick for their sausage party if you opened your mouth.

Of course the old bastard couldn’t be satisfied with that though, and had to pick on you anyway he could to amuse himself.

Like father like son.

“My son managed to beat that personality out of you? You know I think I might’ve preferred you when you still had your tongue in tact” he laughed, head thrown back as if he was that amused by himself, maybe he was, if Naoya was any indication the Zenin were nothing if not vain, and the old man’s aversion to being fully clothed seemed to only further support the theory.

“Wouldn’t be the first time you’ve ever been disappointed in life I imagine, Otousan” you hum before you can think better of yourself, your hands twitch in your lap to cover your mouth, but the damage was already done.

Why must you be so argumentative, was Naoya’s spite rubbing off on you?

“Hah!” He’d laughed, actually laughed at that, before taking a swig from his signature gourd of sake, he was never seen without one dangling loosely in his grip now that you think about it.

“You’ve a pretty face girl, and you seem to have my fool son wrapped up between your legs, but mind that temper. I’m not always so forgiving” His words were reprimanding but he seemed a little too tipsy to actually care that much, thank goodness.

Strangely enough he seemed amused by you often, so often in fact that Naoya had begun thinking the old man had some kind of crush on you. Gross.

Maybe he just found your misery entertaining.

“If only I were a few years younger, I would’ve liked to see what all the fuss is about” he smirked, his eyes leisurely trailing over your body.

It was an awful feeling, like the night of your wedding all over again, but at least you had a barrier no matter how flimsy between you and the men that night, here in Naobito’s office there was nothing to protect you from his undressing you with his eyes.

It was a feeling you’d never get used to but had been subjected to more times than you could count at the Zenin estate.

You couldn’t believe you were actually thinking it but where the hell was Naoya when you needed him?

As if he’d heard your distress signal for better or for worse your darling husband had chosen that exact second to interrupt, and judging by that crazed look in his eye he’d heard what his father had said, and was none too pleased about it to boot.

Before he could start berating you, accusing you of seducing his father you had leapt up from your seat, rushing to wrap your arms around him.

“I- I missed you” you gasped, and you meant it.

For the first time in your entire relationship with Naoya you reached up to kiss him on his lips, trying to convey through your affection that this wasn’t your doing, and you weren’t ignorant to how much your willingness to touch him of your own volition had surprised him, and pleased him, if the slight flush to his cheeks was any indication.

Having deepened the kiss to a scandalous degree, your husband, ever seeking to gain the upper hand smacked your ass before letting his hands settle on your hips.

“Of course you did” Naoya smirked, his usual cocky attitude back in play, in fact if it weren’t for his hand tightening around your waist you’d assume he’d forgiven you completely.

“At ease boy, I was just admiring my daughter’s beauty” Naobito chuckled, he seemed dead set on getting you into trouble today, what had you done to piss him off you wondered.

“You’re both dismissed, go, I expect results soon” he waved you both off with a sigh, making sure to get a nice look at your ass as you turned to leave, which didn’t escape Naoya’s notice.

In hindsight you couldn’t figure out if Naobito was really just that perverted and shameless or if he was some mad genius riling Naoya up on purpose because sure enough your punishment for drawing his father’s gaze again resulted in your pregnancy.

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Carrying a child for those nine months was another trial in strength you were solely underprepared for.

Not only were you expected to continue carrying out your regular duties in service to your husband, now your every move was dictated by physicians and old men who probably understood nothing of a woman’s body in the first place.

The Zenin refused to move with the times, still using practices and traditions far outdated in the modern world, which most likely attributed to their problem of women in the family dying during childbirth.

Thankfully Naoya was a little more lenient with your request for modern doctors, he’d take you out to your appointments himself, always private doctors in extremely elite facilities, keeping a firm grip on your leash should you get the bright idea to attempt running from him.

When you’d both found out you were having a boy you were wary, seeking Naoya’s gaze as your eyes drifted from the ultrasound.

To your relief he looked happy, proud as always, but there was something like wonder in his eyes as he stared at the projection of the son you made together.

To your utter surprise he’d taken your hand in his own, kissing your knuckles over your wedding ring.

Usually genuine acts of affection between the two of you were reserved for moments when you were alone, at your request.

After the incident on your wedding night Naoya had taken it upon himself to try and make intimacy between you two as comfortable for you as possible, he seemed to carry a lot of guilt over that night and your condition afterwards, which was something you couldn’t really wrap your head around, or maybe you just didn’t want to believe he cared for you.

He still showboated and used every opportunity he had to brag of his claim to you to any man that would listen, but he was only ever gentler, you wouldn’t say loving, behind closed doors; So his kiss had startled you.

And of course your surprise hadn’t escaped his notice, that cocky smirk falling back into its rightful place as your face flushed with heat, to your husband’s delight of course.

The doctor laughed, cooing at the two of you, she thought you were a cute young couple, poor woman.
If only she knew even half the truth.

Your heart skipped a beat traitorously in your rib cage, again, not a feeling you were entirely unfamiliar with though you would never admit it.

You would blame it on the relief of knowing your child was safe and healthy, the anxiety and ulcer-inducing stress that had been consuming you ever since Naobito sat you down and made his demand, had finally left you, leaving you tired and in need of comfort no matter who it came from.

So you had tucked yourself against Naoya’s side the second you were back in the car, resting your head on his shoulder and letting your hand fall over his heart.

Usually he would have to drag you over half into his lap by force so he could grope your chest to his hearts content while you rode to wherever you were heading, but today you found yourself wanting to be close to him, as strange as that was, you tried to be understanding with yourself about it.

He of course teased you mercilessly for being so touchy, but he couldn’t hide his approval of your actions, and in true Naoya fashion, he had to escalate the moment by pulling you into his lap and rucking up your kimono around your waist so he could guide you onto his cock, whispering filth and encouragement into your ear while he thrust up into you.

You were thankful for the privacy partition, but when you arrived back at the estate you noticed the driver’s embarrassed expression as he held the door open for you and a preening Naoya, who had deliberately left your lip gloss smudges on his neck visible for every member of the clan to know what you had both done.

The entire clan celebrated with Naoya that night.

It was bizarre to you, gifts and offerings for your little family were given by family members and the staff, and Naobito himself had paused the celebrations to congratulate you for doing your duty with an impromptu speech. He was well past drunk and kept making comments on your body but you appreciated the fact he could give you even a little credit.

You were thankful for a reprieve from the usual oppressive atmosphere of clan life, but when you were alone you’d find yourself sinking into despair.

You didn’t have any experience with raising children or even the intricacies of birth, you’d barely even been afforded the right to act like a child yourself when you were one, and as the days passed steadily you had begun to worry more and more that you could not love a child forced upon you.

And worse still that the child you were bringing into the world, could not love you.

You were terrified.

Not just for yourself but your son too, Naoya had told you of his childhood before, he was a prodigy, the first child among many failed attempts to inherit his father’s cursed technique.

Making him Naobito’s pride and joy.

The weight of expectation was saddled upon him from infancy into the present, the Zenin were severe in their training of him, often tiptoeing the line of pushing the young boy too far, but Naoya had taken to the weight of their gazes like a fish to water, he excelled at every challenge set before him with ease, had seemed to thrive on the ambition of it all, and in exchange he was treated like a god among men, anything his gaze landed on his father gifted him with a snap of his fingers, Including you.

You’d asked once, laying in the afterglow of your coupling when Naoya was feeling particularly affectionate, about his mother.

You’d often wondered about her since Naoya’s aunt mentioned her.

Naobito never spoke of her, his office held no photographs of her, and his wedding ring was no longer worn.
though he had so many mistresses and wives over the years you suppose you couldn’t blame him for forgetting, he could barely remember his own children’s names, and they were all named after him too.

Naoya’s aunt was the only person who seemed to even remember her, and with how well things were going between the two of you, you didn’t want to sour your new bond by asking her about it.

So that left only your husband.

“Didn’t know her” Naoya shrugged indifferently, far more interested in taking advantage of your willingness to indulge him.

For someone so obsessed with strength and dominance Naoya was clingy, his hands couldn’t bear to be separate from your skin when you were together, he had to be touching you or his mood would sour and he’d start getting aggressive like an angry chihuahua.

When he could see you weren’t satisfied with his answer he continued with a huff.

“She died shortly after I was born, my father and the elders had decided it would be better for me to be separated from her. The old man said she was weak and sentimental and didn’t want her fallacies to influence me” his hands caressed your shoulder and your growing baby bump as he spoke, leaning down to trail kisses across your neck.

“What happened to her?” You were almost afraid to ask but you had to know, for your baby’s sake if not for you own.

It reminded you of Satoru and the Elders decision to separate him from his parents, how lonely that had made him, would your baby be subjected to the same treatment?

“She flung herself into the curse pit 12 days after I was born, said she couldn’t bear to live without her son” his voice was despondent, and you couldn’t help but note he’d said ‘her son’, and not ‘me’ as if he’d removed himself from the equation entirely to spare himself the pain, if he was even capable of feeling any pain for a woman.

“That’s awful” you could only imagine what would become of you if your own baby was taken from you after all of this. Would Naoya allow it? Or worse still, would he be the one ordering your separation?

“It is what it is. If she was weak enough to do something like that then she deserved to die” he spat, but his hands tightened around you and his lips drifted to seek comfort in your own.

When Naoya finally let you come up for air, you found his gaze, noting he was already seeking yours as well, like he knew exactly what you were thinking.
How did he do that?

“ will I-”

“That won’t be you” he interrupted quickly smothering the flames of your panic.

He pulled you impossibly closer to him, your noses touching, chest to chest, legs tangled in each other.

The look in his eyes held that familiar possessive edge, even the mention of you somehow being taken from him, sparking that fury in him.

“The old man plans on giving me command of the Hei unit” his voice was softer, his hands already moving to spread your legs again as you felt his hardness against your hip.

It would seem your impromptu interrogation had riled him up enough to need to claim you again.

“My son will need his mother. I won’t allow anyone else to touch him. Or you” he promised, sliding himself inside you again with a groan.

His reassurance lifted a weight from your chest, you knew Naoya was telling the truth, his persisting obsession with you would surely save you and your son from such a grim fate.

As he rolled his hips into you, not for the first time you’d found yourself thinking he was almost quite handsome like this, when there was no one else around and his jagged edges softened however minutely at the touch of your hand.

You could almost imagine an entity separate from him, from the man who dictated over your life with an iron fist, one you could forgive yourself for falling for.

He’d spent the rest of the night losing himself in you, the passion that had begun to burn between you was like fire in your gut slowly threatening to burn you from the inside out, you had no idea if it was your hormones or the strange way you’d almost begun to tolerate him lately but instead of submitting yourself to the force of his need you found yourself reciprocating it.

His eyes were wild and wide as your body moved to match his rhythm, your legs clinging to him tightly, pulling him in as deep as he could go, arms wrapped around his shoulders as you grind back on him.

You had held each other’s gazes as he came inside you again, and when you thanked him and asked for more he was all too happy to oblige.

It was new, you’d fallen asleep tracing patterns on his chest, humming to yourself while he played with your hair. you’d woken the next morning with that familiar ache feeling less painful and more satisfying, seeking his warmth before your mind could catch up to your body, but he was already gone, his side of the futon long since cold.

Your heart clenched and that boiling shame filled you, were you so desperate that one night of passion was enough to forget his numerous transgressions against you?

You rolled back over, the ache and disappointment confusing you. Tears began to gather at the corners of your eyes, you blinked them back stubbornly, almost missing the sight of a large box wrapped in dark green ribbon beside you.

Almost leaping from the futon, you snatched it up, falling back to inspect it.

Like that night so long ago you found yourself treating it as if it would blow up in your face, squinting at it as you slowly lifted the lid.

He’d gifted you a kimono of pale pink and green, cherry blossoms embroidered on the silk, with a matching obi bearing the clan’s crest, it was beautiful.

“Wear this for me” was scrawled in his elegant hand on a card inside, on top of matching lingerie of course, insatiable bastard.

Later when you were summoned to help him change into his training clothes, you were surprised he’d called for you to come to the training grounds, usually he liked to return to your room so he could sneak in a quick moment between you two, you’d assumed that’s why he’d gifted you the Kimono after all, he was often having to order new ones for you because he couldn’t keep his hands or his strength to himself.

The young man who came to fetch you was Naoya’s age, you recalled seeing him at events sometimes, he was the only kid that seemed to hang around Naoya for his own enjoyment.

Ranta? you think his name was.

When you turn to ask him if you remembered correctly he’d turned beet red, stumbling over his words while confessing he didn’t expect a lady such as yourself to recognise him.

A lady? You couldn’t help the laugh that slipped from you at that, much to his surprise.

You’d managed to strike up polite conversation with him while you walked, he told you he was Naoya’s cousin, and was eager to ask you about your own relation to the strongest sorcerer, he had an amazed look in his eye as you talked about yours and Satoru’s childhood. It was nice.

He’s cute, you thought to yourself, catching the little glances he kept sneaking of you, how a man like Ranta had found himself so close to Naoya of all people you wouldn’t even attempt to understand, they seemed to genuinely like each other though, as bizarre as it was to think that Naoya could like anyone.

The training grounds were abuzz with noise, laughter and loud conversations among the men.

the scent of sweat and blood assaulted your nose, you were overwhelmed by it, recalling the way it felt to stand with Satoru in the training grounds of the Gojo estate, the two of you were always getting into trouble for dirtying yourselves, for making a mess of the place.

Before you could let sadness overtake you at the memory, every man seemed to stop and stare at your arrival, some were silent, afraid to make even a sound whilst others murmured about you amongst themselves.

“Woah is that-”

“Holy shit-”

“Master Naoya is one lucky man huh?”

Their comments made you tense up, your gaze searching the sea of faces for that familiar smirk.

When you finally found him he was already looking right at you, smug grin in place and his green eyes almost seeming to sparkle with delight as his eyes moved up and down your figure.

You lowered your gaze as was expected of you and bowed to him formally, cradling your bump to emphasise your status as Naoya’s wife, just as he expected of you.

Though you wanted to rush to him and thank him for the beautiful gift, you wouldn’t dare to embarrass him in front of these men, no matter his endearment towards you, you doubted you would survive such a slight.

“There she is” he drawled in his usual laidback way, his arms open to receive you, you were expected to close the distance between you, the heir moved for no one.

Elegantly you shuffle towards him, keeping your eyes only on him and no one else.

You noticed immediately he was putting on a show, though for what reason you couldn’t really understand.

It made you nervous, had you upset him last night? Was this a punishment he intended to carry out Infront of his fellow soldiers?

He swept you up into his arms, his hands sliding down to the globes of your ass, showing you off Infront of his fellow men, were it any other day you might’ve protested but you figured he’d earned a little squeeze play for the tenderness he’d handled you with last night.

“Did you sleep well, wife?” He drawled, smirking down at you in a way that conveyed his amusement at your compliance, was he seriously expecting you to fight him off Infront of a unit boasting the Zenin’s most elite soldiers? Asshole.

“I did, thank you husband” you nod, unable to contain the slight flush to your cheeks and the way you cling to him. You can feel the room locked on the two of you, on you especially, it’s nerve wracking.

“You look beautiful, I’ll enjoy tearing this off you tonight” Naoya hums, pleased as punch at your demureness, he thought given your extended history together and how familiar the two of you are with each other’s bodies that you’d of outgrown that shyness by now, but he’s glad to see you still haven’t.

“I-” you cleared your throat, gathering the courage to reply in a way that would satisfy him and his company “I look forward to it” you make sure to give him a little smirk of your own, if he’s going to tease you’ll be damned if you don’t give as good as you get.

It seemed to be the right answer as he grinned from ear to ear, sweeping you into a possessive kiss as the men surrounding you both cheered and laughed.

“So that’s where those marks on his back came from”

“And where he keeps disappearing to”

“Shit I don’t blame him how does he get anything done knowing that’s waiting for him?”

“Master Naoya is the man!”

Their comments were a bit too much, making you hide your face in Naoya’s chest, which only inflates his ego even more as the men start commenting on how cute the young master’s wife is, gods you’d need to become a full blown hikikomori to live this down.

“Are you all done clucking amongst yourselves like a gaggle of hens?” That sharp voice belonging only to Naoya’s uncle Ougi, cuts through the atmosphere, a tense silence quickly replacing the laughter and joy.

“Uncle! Just who we were waiting for” Naoya grinned, never one to take anything serious. His smile sharp and fox like as he always was when he was up to something.

Ougi seemed to notice it too, his eyes squinting at his nephew before shifting to you still held in the young man’s embrace.

“What is the girl doing here? The training grounds are no place for a woman” he spat, and boy if looks could kill you imagine you’d be naught but a fine mist of blood in the air by now.

Ougi was never your favourite of Naoya’s inner circle you had to deal with, and you were certainly not favoured by him.

Naobito you could tolerate by plugging him full of Sake and listening to his endless boasting, he was a perv but thankfully he’d never touched you.
And his weird fondness for you meant you didn’t have to fear being in his presence.

His cousin Jinichi was intimidating, well more like terrifying really.
He had a reputation in the clan as being a stern, no-nonsense kind of man, he was often silent, preferring to let actions speak for him.
He had no interest in you whatsoever, thank heavens, the only time he’d ever acknowledged you was when he found you crying in the garden after Naoya had beat you for Toji’s death.
You had no idea the older man was there at all he’d simply rested a heavy hand on your head, ruffling your hair gently before continuing his solemn walk.
If you understood correctly Toji was his younger brother, and so you were even more shaken by his decision to show you kindness after your brother had killed his own.

But Ougi, there was never a man that inspired more fear in you, not even Naoya was so sub-human, your skin crawled whenever you felt those black eyes on you, and you’d never hated a man more than when you were witness to his treatment of his wife.

Naoya scoffed at his offended tone, always playing whenever he was talking to his uncle, it drove the older man insane, especially because he could do nothing about his nephew’s insolence.

“My wife’s place is wherever I will her to be” he snarks, his hands tightening around your waist, lips kissing you atop your head, as if Ougi wasn’t even here. You weren’t ignorant to just how much that seemed to piss the older man off.

A Zenin man like him: hiding savagery behind the guise of tradition, ‘Respect’ was everything to him, hierarchy ‘honour’ if a Zenin man could even possess such a thing.
You were witness to him and Naoya getting into spats over Naoya’s lack of respect for his elders on numerous occasions.

“Today is special after all, today the Hei unit has the honour of new leadership” Naoya continued, addressing everyone in the room then, barely suppressing a chuckle at the way his uncle’s face cracked.

“What?” It was hissed at Naoya, like Ougi was a snake coiled tight, poised to tear out his throat.

“The old man was gonna break it to you, but I figured there’s no fun in that” he shrugged, pretending he wasn’t acutely aware of his uncle about to blow steam out of his ears like a cartoon character.

Gods why did you have to be in the middle of their dick measuring contest, they were like little girls having a playground spat, except they could probably kill each other and you in the middle before you could blink.

“After all you were deemed unfit to become the next heir when I was born, it’s only fitting I be the one to tell you” Naoya laughed, as if he couldn’t feel your wariness in the way you held tighter to him, in the way your hand drifted protectively to your stomach.

He glanced down at you, giving you a confident wink, as if to say ‘I’ve got you’

“With my beautiful wife and my son as witness” he continued, rubbing over your baby bump with a proud smile.
“That’s two more areas I’ve succeeded in where you’ve previously failed, isn’t that right uncle?”

You realise what this is now, another one of Naoya’s little games, he’d asked you here to rub salt in Ougi’s wounds, after all it was no secret the man held extreme regrets over not conceiving a son, and you remember Ougi’s black eyes glaring into you when it was announced you were carrying a boy, as if he wanted to cross the room and cut what he thought he deserved from your stomach.

You couldn’t lie, a nasty little part of you felt satisfaction at seeing him humiliated like this, Infront of men he deemed his lessers, Infront of you who he deemed as something less than human.

You only wish Naoya weren’t insulting his aunt in the same breath.

“You ins-” rage, animalistic in nature burns through Ougi’s gaze, he looks as if he can’t decide who he wants to kill more, you or your husband.

Naoya ignores him entirely of course, looking down at you with a mischievous expression curling his plush lips.

“What do you think Y/N? you’ve already proven yourself of more worth to the clan than my uncle anyway”

It isn’t just you that gapes at Naoya for that, every member of the Hei and Ougi himself cannot believe Naoya just asked you your opinion, and to add insult to injury had declared you: a woman, a womb, above a man.

What has gotten into him?

You’re speechless, almost expecting him to laugh it off, but he doesn’t waver from looking at you expectantly, waiting for you to say your piece while his hand rubs your lower back.

You wrack your brain on the spot for something clever to say, something that Naoya would approve of.

“It’s as you often say: men who are weak are worse than women and should be stabbed in the back and die, right my love?” Your voice isn’t as strong as Naoya’s but it seems to hit it’s mark all the same, and you know he’s proud by the way his hand tightens on your waist and his sharp teeth shine through his smile.

“You little bitch” Ougi snarls, already raising his hand to strike you.

You don’t flinch, as you already expected Naoya catches the older man’s hand before he could even take a step towards you.

Ranta moves, stepping in front of you too with a determined look, not that it mattered.
Ougi wouldn’t make it past your husband, but you appreciated him for protecting you and your son regardless, if Naoya would allow it you would like to thank him.

“Careful uncle, you’re addressing the future mistress of this clan, and unlike your own, my wife isn’t weak enough to be threatened by you” he hisses, you can see his shoulders shaking with the effort it takes him not to lose his temper.

Your eyes widen at his words, it was far from calling you strong but Naoya had never defended your strength, especially not to another man.

Had you fallen into some alternate dimension without your notice?

Ougi tears himself from Naoya’s grip, shooting you a look that could kill you where you stand, before turning and leaving, no doubt to rant about Naoya’s insubordination to his brother.

You find you can finally take a breath when he disappears from your sight completely, your arms cradling your bump, ‘we’re okay now, little one’ you think, the rapid pace of your heart was no doubt stressing your poor little boy, you can feel him shifting inside you.

Naoya’s shadow falls over you in your quiet contemplation, his hand tucking under your chin, lifting your gaze to his.

“You did good, I'll reward you tonight” he promises, gods the way he’s looking at you is far from appropriate, you imagine if you weren’t surrounded by curious eyes he’d have you stripped and on your knees for him already.

“Thank you, for the gift.. I mean, it’s beautiful” you manage to say, shying away from the intensity of his gaze.

He huffs, ever amused by your flustered expression.

“Of course. My wife deserves nothing but the best” he continues, kissing you on your forehead.

It feels too domestic to you, like this isn’t just a show of power anymore, you try to change the subject, remembering what you were called here for in the first place.

“I need to help you change, where should we-”

“No need” he interrupts smoothly, no doubt already anticipating your diversion.

To your surprise Naoya begins undressing himself until he stands shirtless in front of you, handing his clothing off to Ranta.

You let your eyes trace his body, admittedly feeling quite hot at his defined chest and muscles, he was always prideful in his appearance.
He kept himself fit and chiseled, you often marveled over his good looks in private, lest you inflate his enormous ego even further.

It had to be the hormones because why else would you be so affected by his body that you see everyday?

You and Naoya are usually tangled up in each other around this time, you bent over the nearest surface so he can have his fill before he’s pulled away by his duties.

“For motivation” he’d rationalise.

He had explained to you many times that he was more effective in training after being inside you, that remembering and meditating on the feeling of you helps him remain focused, it had become routine and your body had gotten used to it, that must be why you’re itching to reach out and touch him.

“You seem flustered Y/N, you don’t have to be so shy about staring y’know? I’m all yours” his teasing voice interrupts your frantic thoughts, earning a few chuckles from the men still listening in on the two of you.

“I should be going” you squeak, but your eyes still linger on him, gaze following the defined lines of his abs and stomach, down to the dusting of meticulously kept black hair that trails into his pants.

“You sure?” He smirks, and you can just tell he’s getting a real kick out of this, you imagine this will be a new thing to tease you about for a while.

“Mhmm” you hum, lips pursed, tearing your gaze from his body to look back up at him.

“May I be excused?”

“Yeah, take the day off from your duties, wait for me in our room” he whispers between you two, slapping your ass as you turn to hurry out of the training grounds, the room exploding into a cacophony of laughter and approving voices behind you.

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Though it wasn’t always so amicable between you two.

Naoya had not changed completely after all, you had just gotten better at adapting to his moods, responding appropriately to his behaviour, and the two of you had become better at coexisting.

There were days like that where you could almost believe the two of you were in love, as rare an occurrence as they were.

Unfortunately for you as it had always been, the clan and his family’s expectations were doled out on Naoya, which in turn meant his stress and frustrations were then taken out on you.

You tried convincing yourself that it was better for everyone this way, he hadn’t hit you again since your wedding night, and as long as your body was there to receive him whenever he desired, you could ease the burden for him.

In the past you had witnessed him abusing servants, his brothers, even his aunt who you had come to love and her darling twin daughters.

You had heard of the two of them in passing from Naoya and Naobito but had never actually seen them, never even learned their names, you wanted to ask their mother about them but had held your tongue in fear of offending her.

The two of you had warmed up to each other after all. she was an elusive woman, hard to read and determined it seemed to keep you at a semi-acceptable distance for the sake of keeping up appearances.

You couldn’t fault her for that, Naoya was possessive after all, even more so now that you were heavily pregnant and if he was bored he would make problems just to enjoy doling out punishments.

whenever you would seek her company she was nowhere to be found but when you would need a drink, a snack or assistance with something she was there with what you wanted before you could even ask how she knew.

You had naturally gravitated towards her, she was the only other woman in these halls who understood the burden of being a Zenin wife, and who seemed to care for you as more than just a walking, talking incubator.

She had shown you kindness, and so you did everything in your power to protect her.

Naoya had told you once that she was without cursed energy, a supposed ‘dud’ in his own words, as she had failed for many years to bring a child to term, and when she finally did it was only made worse for her as they were girls, and worse still, twin girls with weak to nonexistent cursed energy.

She could no longer bear children after her twins and was therefore useless, he shrugged, but you had never met a woman so strong in your life.

It was on a fairly regular day that you had plucked up the courage to bridge a little bit more of the gap between you. You were both in the laundry room sewing up your respective husband’s clothing.

“Will you ever tell me your name?” You ask, peeking up at her from the tear you were repairing in a pair of Naoya’s Hakama.

For a man who was so particular about his clothing right down to the way it was made and handled he was always careless with his belongings, the habits of a man too rich to care.

You supposed it didn’t bother you that much, it atleast gave you something to do with your hands now that you couldn’t strain yourself with physical labour.

It wouldn’t be long at all until your boy would grace this world.

“Silly girl, you could’ve asked” she scoffed, a smile tugging at the corner of her lips, you found you were always happy to see her smile no matter how many times you saw it, she was always so severe when In anyone else’s company, so it felt like a blessing whenever she relaxed around you.

“It’s Miyo” she offered then, giving you a polite little bow.

You made to leap up from your seat, forgetting your current condition in your excitement, you didn’t get far of course, Miyo reaching out to steady you with a panicked expression.

“I’m Y/N!” You grinned, like you were just meeting her for the first time today.

“I know that, you fool!” she scolded, before you both couldn’t take it anymore and softly laughed between yourselves.

The silence between you was comfortable after that, and the two of you had moved on to washing the clothing before Miyo spoke again.

“How are you handling your pregnancy, have you been drinking the tea I left for you?” She asked, scanning over your face for any signs of sickness, you seemed a lot less pale than you were before she’d started leaving you tea in the morning; a positive sign.

“Yes, thank you, the morning sickness is a lot more tolerable” you hummed, you were incredibly grateful for Miyo’s care, she seemed to know more about your body than those useless male doctors did.

“I thought it would help, I had trouble with morning sickness right up until I gave birth too. Just another blessing for women carrying a Zenin” she sighed, recalling her own pregnancy troubles.

“Apologies, I’d almost forgotten you a mother yourself Miyo-San” you recalled she mentions her little girls very rarely, and you had never even seen her with them once during your life in the estate.

“It’s alright. Not many people consider me one. to be a mother in this clan you must give birth to strong healthy boys, my girls are rarely seen as children so I’m not seen as a mother” she explained, unaffected by just how heartbreaking the reality of what she admitted was.

You supposed no one had ever saw fault with how she was treated, so she had been led to believe it was normal.

“That isn’t right” you growled, your fists clenching around the sheets you were scrubbing in the little basin and washboard the Zenin were adamant on all wives using.

You longed for a washing machine, maybe when Naoya took over you could con one out of him, even a tiny little one with a hand crank would be better than breaking your back over these tubs.

“I know, but it’s just the way things are” she smiled sadly, reaching over to ease your grip before you could hurt yourself, always thinking of you before herself.

“It doesn’t bother me anymore, my children may be a curse in the eyes of this clan but they will never be less than a blessing to me”

She went back to her own washing, watching you as you looked down at where your own little blessing rested, she caught the fear in your eyes, the worry she’d often see on your face, she’d witnessed it before many times after all, had lived through it herself.

Becoming a mother was tough, and she couldn’t bear to see you suffer through it alone, she had become quite attached to you, thinking of you as a daughter to her.

“Would you like to meet them? Perhaps my girls can ease some of your own doubts about motherhood” she offered.

You were surprised by her willingness to share such a private part of her life with you, you knew exactly how protective she was of her children, how hard she worked to keep them from the gaze of others.

Yet she would trust you enough to let you meet her girls. It was touching truly.

“However, I’d ask that you not tell Naoya about your meeting, he would not spare Maki and Mai if he discovered they had contact with you”

“Of course, I would never betray your trust in me Miyo-San” you vow.

Later that day after you’d both finished your laundry, Miyo led you to her and Ougi’s residence within the estate, she explained a little bit about her twins, Maki and Mai, her girls would be running minor errands but they’d come straight back after they were done.

The two of you sat outside in the breeze, watching over the courtyard where Miyo would usually wait for her them.

“Ah there they are, girls!” Miyo waved them over, oblivious to the two young girl’s distress.

You stood up from your seat, squinting to see what they were doing, you could make out Maki pulling Mai along as she closed her eyes in fear.

You could see it then, the thing behind them that had frightened Mai so badly.

“M-y.. Bab..yyyy” the curse groaned, it’s voice unnatural, a horrible thing, it sounded like several voices layered over each other, each of them twisted and choked.

It was tall, impossibly so, towering over the twins in it’s terrifying glory. It’s body was wrong, twisted and broken, it’s head facing backwards. long black hair clinging like moss to its Snow White skin, it seemed to be wearing a kimono but it was covered in black blood and falling off the curse’s emaciated body, its legs hung at odd angles, one twisted entirely around causing it to shamble oddly.

It was strong, you could feel its energy spreading out like roots over the ground, causing the grass and flowers in it’s immediate vicinity to wither and die.

It’s clawed fingers reached for Mai.

Your body moved before your mind thought to, slipping into the void as you let it carry you across the yard, your kunai was already gripped in your hand, pulled from the void, and when you stepped through the tear between realities again you swung your blade with all the strength you could muster, cleaving the curse in two.

You stumbled from the force of your attack, managing to catch yourself on your hands and knees before you could tumble over, your hands fell to your stomach, holding where your little prince rested.

You managed to catch the curse’s eye as it disintegrated, it’s body being swallowed up by the void.

“Baa..by” it groaned, reaching for your stomach, black tears running down its face.

For reasons unknown to you, you felt a deep sadness as it disappeared, and you couldn’t help feeling a chill knowing it was trying to reach for your son.

It must’ve escaped from the pit you realised, how reckless of the Zenin to have such strong curses housed freely in their home, especially where young children were about.

Children. You turned back to Maki and Mai, looking over both the young girls.

“Are you both alright?” You gasped, unsure if either of them had been attacked before you could reach them, but they seemed perfectly fine if not a little distressed.

It was Mai that spoke up first, her eyes wide and full of wonder.

“Miss how did you-”

“Mai did she get rid of the monster?” Maki interrupted, pulling her sister back from you a little bit with a stern look in her brown eyes.

She was protecting her sister, you realised.
what a strong young girl.

“Yeah!” Mai cheered, shrugging off her sister entirely in favour of running towards you.

“How? Are you a sorcerer like Chichi?” She questioned, bouncing on her feet as she looked you over, her hands hovering over you as if she wanted to help but didn’t know how as you slowly rose to your feet.

It was Maki that spoke up this time, stepping forward to question you.

“Can you show us?” She was a little more stern than Mai, she reminded you of Miyo when she was in her strict mom mode, it was adorable.

“Girls have you forgotten your manners?” Miyo spoke up, her hands folded Infront of her as she scolded her young children.

She didn’t understand what you had done, one minute you were beside her and the next she could see you talking to her girls across the yard. was it your technique? She remembers you telling her you were trained in sorcery before your betrothal to Naoya.

She looked over the courtyard, taking notice of the grass blackened and withered where her twins had come running from, the rot seemed to end abruptly just past where you stood.

Had you protected her children somehow?

“Sorry, thank you miss” they bowed in unison, you were positively enchanted by the way they spoke in sync, you’d never met any twins before, it was so cute how they did everything together subconsciously, like they were connected.

They reminded you of a pair of kokeshi dolls, their pretty black hair cut into near identical little bobs, their different coloured kimono the most distinguishing trait between them, both different complementary colours lovingly hand sewn by Miyo, you suspected.

“It’s alright, please call me Y/N, I’m glad you’re both okay” you reassure them.
After being chased by that awful curse you could hardly fault them for being a little informal, god knows you and Satoru were far from proper at that age.

“Miss is it true you’re married to Naoya?” Maki dares to ask, her little face scrunched up in disapproval as she says your husband’s name, you take it she didn’t approve of the pairing, you could hardly blame her.

“Yes, which I suppose would make me your cousin too wouldn’t it?” You offer, smiling brightly at the two, they seem to relax slightly at your gentle tone, as if your kindness to them wasn’t expected.

“But you’re so pretty big sis, why would you marry him?” Mai grumbles, earning a laugh from you.

“Yeah, and you’re nice and you protected us” Maki chimes in.

“Girls, you mustn’t talk that way about the young master, remember?” Miyo scolds, she was confident you would never say a word about her two girls, but she had to ensure they didn’t slip up ever.

“Yes okachan” they nod.

Mai reaches for your hand first, tugging on it gently with a hopeful smile on her face.

“Can you play with us, big sis?”

Maki joins her then, tugging on your sleeve a little more forcefully than Mai, you find you don’t have it in you to refuse them a thing.

You’d spent the rest of the day with them and Miyo, playing chase in the gardens and answering their endless flood of questions, they were inquisitive and seemed to think you an endless wellspring of knowledge, they had never been outside the clan’s walls and were eager to know everything about you and what your life was like before you ended up here.

It was the most fun you had in a while, you expected the twins to be reserved and overly proper like Miyo, but to your surprise and joy they were a lot like you and Satoru at that age, full of energy, always talking over each other and coming up with sly little plans to amuse themselves, it was heartening to know that such wonderful little girls could still exist in this place, even with how awful the Zenin clan is.

It gave you hope for your son.

It was a little after dark when you made it back to your own quarters, the Hei were out on a mission so Ougi and Naoya were both absent, leaving you free to share a lovely meal with Miyo and her girls.

You had helped her clean up and get Maki and Mai ready for bed before retiring yourself for the night.

However when you opened the door to yours and Naoya’s home you were stopped in your tracks by him sprawled on one of the lounges, staring directly at you with a dark look on his face.

Busted.

He didn’t bother to offer you a greeting or to even let you greet him, he simply shifted in his seat where he lounged like a king, ready to pass judgment.

“One of the servants told me you exorcised a curse in the garden today” his voice was calm, too calm, like the quiet before the storm.

His eyes traced your body, fists clenching at the black splotches on your Kimono, evidence of your sins.

You figured lying would get you nowhere, and wasting his time stalling would only make his anger worse, best to cut to the chase.

“Yes, is that a problem?” Your voice betrayed none of your anxiety, but you were sure your face gave away your feelings, he was frightening when he was mad at you, unpredictable.

“I don’t know, do you think I’d take issue with you putting yourself and our son in danger so you can play at being a hero?” he spits, glaring at you.

“You know I would never put him in harm's way” you defended, unable to suppress the anger in your voice at him having the gall to accuse you of such a thing.

“Do I? Do you think I’m ignorant to what you do while I’m gone?” he stands and crosses the room in one swift motion, his anger carrying him directly Infront of you, fists clenching at his sides.

If you were ignorant to his nature you would assume he was holding himself back, but no, you knew your husband well enough to know his anger wasn’t something he ever thought to shield you from.

You don’t flinch as he grabs you tight around your arms, but you do stiffen at the feeling.

“I’d be an idiot if I thought that” you scowl, as if you had the luxury to be unaware in his presence.

You weren’t ignorant to his little spies he’d ordered to keep an eye on you, you wanted to believe it was his way of showing concern, of making sure you were safe, not another measure of control.

It seems you were wrong about that.

“You’d be an idiot regardless. Why are you spending time with that failure of a woman and her defective little brats?” He spits, his hands tightening a little too hard around your upper arms, you wince but he ignores you completely, if anything his fingers dig into you more at your show of pain.

“Don’t speak about them that way” your conviction surprised you and him as well, judging by the way his eyes widened, and a scowl pulled at his lip.

“And now you think you can tell me what to do?”

“Yes, because I’m carrying your son and if you ever even think of punishing Miyo-San and the girls I’ll join your mother in the pit” you don’t know what possessed you to say such a thing, maybe you were just desperate to defend the only friends you had in this godforsaken place, you couldn’t bear to see a hair touched on their head, consequences be damned.

He’d struck you then, a swift crack across the face that sent you stumbling to the floor, your hands cradling your stomach protectively as you fell on your knees.

He seemed shocked by what he’d done, already reaching for you, but you glared at him with such anger he’d stopped in his tracks.

“There he is. There’s my husband. I should thank you for reminding me exactly what you are, I’d almost found myself forgetting” you laughed bitterly, struggling to lift yourself from the floor.

He reached for you again, his hand closing around your upper arm to pull you up, but you fought him off like a cornered animal.

“Don’t touch me!” You shrieked, and if it wasn’t for the genuine fear in your voice and your wild thrashing, reminiscent of your state before your recovery, you suspect he would’ve ignored you completely.

You pushed past him, opening the bedroom door and closing it behind you none too gently.

He didn’t follow you, you were grateful for that.

You bathed alone, the door locked so he couldn’t interrupt you, and when you finished and climbed into the futon to sleep you curled in on yourself, crying like a fool.

You don’t know why you let his actions hurt you, you should be used to his behaviour, he was always like this: kind one minute and spiteful the next, it was exhausting, and too confusing on your feelings for you to keep up with.

It made you hate yourself, to carry such affection for a man who was so cruel to you made you feel so weak.

But when he was good, he was so good.

You felt loved by him in those rare moments, like you could forgive it all, let your grudges slip through your fingers like sand and reach for him instead.

But it never lasted, you would take one step forward and two steps back.

The bedroom door slid open, you muffled your sobs with the duvet, keeping still to feign sleep, you didn’t have the energy to argue with him right now, the most minor things could blow up between you, and it was only ever you caught in the blast.

Either he was fooled or he just couldn’t be bothered with your ‘dramatics’, as he put it.
Naoya passed you completely in silence, his footsteps heavy, making his anger in you obvious, heading into the bathroom and starting the shower.

You let the sound of rushing water lull you into a relaxed state, the tears wouldn’t stop, but you cried in silence, no longer sobbing, just comfortably numb.

The bathroom door slides open then, followed by Naoya slipping into bed beside you, seeking your warmth, his hands reach for you, waiting for you to crawl into his arms like usual.

You ignore him completely, curling further in on yourself and cradling your stomach.
You won’t give in it to him, you’ve had enough.

He huffs, growling something under his breath before reaching for you again.

“I won't punish those brats or their mother, stop crying and get over here” he grumbles, rolling his eyes like he’s dealing with a child and not his wife who he had hit, again.

You don’t budge, forcing out a simple “go away”

He curses at you, shuffling across the space between you to curl himself around you.

“Tch. You’re lucky I’ve grown sick of your wailing” he huffs, practically draped over you, his hands wandering to the collar of your gown, toying with the idea of slipping his hands underneath, you’d probably start screaming at him like a banshee if he dared though, so he resigns himself to cupping your breasts over the fabric, it always helps him when he’s particularly pissed off.

You however are practically seething at his stupidity, who does he think he is using your boobs as a stress toy right now.

“Is this your way of apologising? I’m in no mood tonight” you snap, you’d shuffle away from him if you could but you’re on the edge of the futon as it is, and you’ll be damned if you leave the bed for him.

“Me apologise? You should be apologising for testing the limits of my grace, for making me lose my temper” he argues, pulling you over to face him, he atleast looks guilty at the swelling of your cheeks and eyes. He didn’t want to make you cry, if you’d just listen to him.

“You hit me, you could’ve hurt our son and all for what? Because I didn’t let those sweet little girls get hurt? I don’t understand you sometimes” you find yourself actually expressing your opinion for once.

Since the day you were taken from your family you’ve denied him the pleasure of your arguments, you knew he liked your frustration and you’d be damned if you wasted your time and energy entertaining him.

It was easier to just ignore him, you’d gotten this far doing so, but he had lit in a fire in you tonight and you were primed to blow up in his face.

“You should understand that I want you safe. Did you even consider what using your technique could do to our son before you did something so stupid?” He growls, shaking you by your shoulders, begging you to see sense.

You hadn’t, you realised.

Void running was dangerous for others if you pulled them into your technique, they had the risk of losing themselves in the infinite, or being driven insane by it.

And you had used it on your son. But surely your body housing him was enough to protect him from any adverse effects right?

“I’m sorry, my body moved before I could even think, I just wanted to protect Maki and Mai” you cry, covering your face from him, your recklessness could've hurt him, your sweet boy.

He finds his gut twisting up at your tears, an unfamiliar feeling, usually he revels in your displays of emotion, taking pride in having any effect on your moods, your tears in particular a favourite of his, he’d always aim to make you cry as a kid, he stupidly thought you looked prettiest like that. but this just feels bad.

He pulls you tighter against him, hushing you as you sob into his chest.

“Stop crying, y’know I hate it” he grumbles, but he soothes you all the same, drying your tears and holding you tight while the shaking of your body ceases.

“I’m sorry” you gasp.

“Shut it with the sorry shit. It’s fine, I forgive you” he snarls, trying his hardest to hide his distress at your sadness, he doesn’t ever want to make you cry again.

When you’ve settled down, sniffling into his chest, no more tears, he speaks up again.

“Why do you care about those two so much, huh? They’re weak. They’ll only taint our son, and you”

“Why do you think that? Because they’re girls? What if we have a daughter one day, will you hate her too?” you argue.

You couldn’t bear the thought, to have your own children hated by their father for something as insignificant as their gender, you wouldn’t allow it. You'd sooner join his mother than ever let any daughter of your own be treated that way.

“We won’t have daughters” he scoffs, waving off your concern like it meant nothing at all to him.

“You can’t know that, what if we do?”

He's surprised by your determination to argue the point with him, usually you're stone cold in the face of his provocations.

“Would you love her?” you persist, unwilling to drop this line of questioning until you know for sure your children are safe with him.

“Of course” I love you, don’t I?

He wouldn’t allow himself to say it, but you could almost feel the words in his weighted gaze, in the way he held you so tightly.

“Will you allow me to keep seeing the girls?”

He scoffs at that, like he can't believe you’d actually ask him such a thing.

“I don’t like sharing, you know that” he reminds you, that familiar possession in his gaze.

“You aren’t sharing me with anyone!” You couldn’t help your voice raising in your exasperation, gods it was like talking to a brick wall with him.

“I’ll only spend time with them when you’re preoccupied, and I’ll be yours unconditionally for as long as you want, however you want, whenever you want me”

“Is that so?” He hummed.

You seemed to peak his interest with your proposition, his hands already drifting to squeeze your breasts again, god he was horrible at reading the room.

“I guess it is hot when you’re so willing” he considers, a smile tugging at his lips as he thinks of all the lewd things he could convince you to do for him.

And he supposed having you be around other children would be good practice for when your son was born, even if they were useless defects.

“Fine, but you best be careful, if my uncle finds out you’re making friends with his wife and spawn, it won’t be you receiving his punishment” he warns, hands drifting to your thighs with an innocent look on his face.

"really?" you huff.

"you want to hang out with those little shits right? Do a good job and I'll allow it" he smirks, untying your gown.

"fine. But you're doing all the work, I'm tired"

You turn from him, letting him manoeuvre your body how he wants so he could slide in behind you, fair's fair I guess.

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The night you gave birth was one you would never forget, you could feel it coming on the entire day, but your little one was proving more stubborn than even you, so you’d taken to walking back and forth in the garden to speed up the process.

Naoya was on a mission with the Hei, so it was just you, Miyo by your side and the twins picking flowers to give to you, they had made a game of speculating what their little cousin would be like, and you were grateful their joy was distracting you from the anxiety of giving birth for the first time.

The four of you were laughing at the twin’s silly ideas for baby names when your water finally broke.

Miyo had taken charge from there, helping you stumble to the infirmary and speaking for you to the healers and midwives while you breathed through your contractions.

She stayed by your side, holding your hand in her own while you pushed and pushed, the pain was indescribable, incomparable to any such pain you’d endured in your life, but when you felt that pressure give way, heard the sound of your Son’s cry echo through the estate like the ringing of a bell, the pain ceased, all you could feel was your son’s cursed energy resonating with your own, as if his soul had reached out and touched yours.

“My son, may I hold him please?” You reach out to the midwives, taking in their scepticism at giving you your baby, a stern look from Miyo and your son’s wailing encourages them to ignore protocol and hand him over.

He was placed in your arms, wiped over, cord cut and wrapped in the deep green blanket you’d sewn for him months prior, his head was thick with dark black hair, his little eyes wide open and staring right at you, the same beautiful green as his Father.

“Hi baby” you cooed, tears gathering in your eyes, your son, he’s here finally in your arms, after all your suffering, everything you endured for this moment.

“He’s beautiful Y/N-San” Miyo smiled from beside you, brushing your hair back from your face where it clung to you from your exertion.

It wasn’t long before the doors of the infirmary burst open and Naobito and your husband entered the room, flanked by the most important of the Clan’s elders.

Naoya was dishevelled, his impeccable clothing dirty from fighting and rumpled beyond what he would usually deem acceptable, his hair was pushed back from his face, sticking at odd angles like he’d run his fingers through it too many times.

His eyes were wide, there was almost a look of fear in them before they found you and your son.

And you’d never forget the look in his eyes that night, the way they’d softened as they never had before, he was beautiful, your husband; one of the worst men you’d ever had the misfortune of meeting in your life was beautiful, it was so obvious now that his looks were reflected in the face of your son.

He seemed to catch on to your admiration of him, but instead of that usual knowing smirk, you found his eyes reflected your own thoughts, he was admiring the way you looked in this moment too.

You couldn’t imagine you looked enticing at all, you were in labour for hours, your hair was falling out of its elaborate up-do, your body covered in sweat, your kimono falling off your shoulders indecently, legs still propped up to help with pushing, barely covered by the white sheet you’d been given for modesty.

You must look horrible.

But to Naoya you were never so beautiful as you were in this moment.
You were glowing, radiant as you cradled your son.

Their voices overlapped with each other, through your exhaustion and the hazy glow of finally holding your son you could make out small fragments of their conversations.

“This energy-“

“Could it be-“

“Such a strong presence”

Naobito was the first to rush to your side, though Naoya was closely behind him.

“My grandson” he was full of pride, holding your boy up so he could inspect him, and judging by the grin on his face, he was more than pleased.

“Master Naobito the boy is exceptional” one of the elder’s spoke up behind him, ignoring your presence completely in favour of gushing over your son.

“Congratulations” the others chimed, bowing to the clan head and his first grandson.

In a move that shocked you and everyone present, Naobito turned back to you, placing a heavy hand on the top of your head and ruffling your hair gently, as you’d seen him do to Naoya countless times.

It was the Zenin equivalent to embracing you.

“You did good, girl. He’s strong, looks just like his father” he smiled, and for once it held no hidden spite nor sly amusement.

“Thank you, otousan” you sigh, relief flooding you at the older man’s approval.

“C’mon boy, you gonna stand there gaping all night?” Naobito turned to his son then, offering the boy to his father, who looked unsure, afraid even.

It was such an out of place expression on Naoya: your headstrong overconfident husband, that you found yourself laughing.

Well more like sighing in amusement, you were exhausted.

Naoya reluctantly accepts his son, cradling him carefully to his chest, as if he’s made of glass. He smiles down at you as he takes his time inspecting the boy.

“He looks like me” he finally says, proud, wondrous even, like he can’t quite believe it.

It makes your chest tighten in that strange familiar way, seeing him hold the baby you conceived together. You don’t know if you were drunk on the relief of his birth, or if you were so tired you were just overly affectionate, but you found yourself admiring your husband.

“Isn’t he lucky” you hum, poking fun, earning an amused huff from Naoya.

The doctors tend to you while the men speak amongst themselves, your exhaustion blocks out most of their conversation, but you do pick up on Naoya growing angry with the elders.

When you’re cleaned up and laying comfortably, propped up by cushions Miyo-San had brought for you, your attention drifts to the men in the room again, worry starting to build in your stomach.

Were they discussing what to do with you?

“Leave us, I want to be alone with my wife” Naoya finally barks, turning from the conversation completely in favour of moving towards you.

The elders sputter behind him, looking to Naobito for assistance , the older man simply chuckles, waving off their concern.

“You heard him, let’s leave the young ones to themselves now” he gives Naoya a quick pat on the shoulder, giving a little wave to your son before he turns and leaves, the Elders reluctantly following behind him.

Miyo bows and takes her leave too, the doctors and midwives following until it’s just you, your husband and your son.

Naoya kneels beside you, his hand finding your own.

“He’s perfect” he finally breathes, his eyes lift to stare into your own “just like you”

Your heart flutters in your chest, and you grow warm from his affection.

“Will you give him a name?” You ask, you imagined he would have strong opinions on what was appropriate for a Zenin man’s name.

Naoya ponders over it, his brow scrunched in concentration as he looks down at your son.

“What do you think?” He finally asks, turning to you for help. He didn’t really have any ideas, he thought you would want to name your son, you were always so opinionated after all.

You think over it yourself, Maki and Mai’s suggestions were far too out there, who’d name a child after their favourite fruits after all?

You and Naobito had discussed possible names over tea one afternoon, he’d said he gave his children names like his own to continue his legacy and suggested you to do the same.

Then Miyo came to mind, you had struck up the courage to ask her for Naoya’s mother’s name, you were both sitting under the cherry blossom tree near her and her family’s residence, working on sewing a blanket together for your sweet boy.

“Her name was Nao” she had smiled sadly, her hands drifting to the tree, “I planted this here in her honour” she confessed, you got this strange feeling from the sorrow in Miyo’s eyes that she had loved Nao perhaps more than a friend loved another, that there had been something beautiful and forbidden between the two of them before she tragically took her own life, the beautiful cherry blossom tree that was cared for so tenderly, that Miyo and her children sat under to exist peacefully away from the darkness of the Clan seemed to support that theory.

You would honour a legacy yes, but it wouldn’t be that of an undeserving man’s.

“Naoto. Zenin Naoto” you offer, you knew Naoya had no knowledge of his mother’s name, of how much she had loved him, if you could do anything for the woman Miyo saw so much of in you, the woman who had given you your husband and through her legacy your son, it would be to pass on her love for her son through your own.

“A strong name, it suits our boy doesn’t it?” He considers, gazing down at your sweet boy as if to question his approval.

He was pleased you decided to name your son something so similar to his own name, you really were softening up on him.

“Naoya” you call for him, unsure why exactly. Maybe you just wanted to look at him again, or to say his name.

“Hmm? do you need me to call the doctors back in?” he's focused on you instantly, fretting over you.

“No, I’m fine. I’m just happy” you huff, tears gathering in the corners of your eyes as you gaze up at him.
“Thank you for making me a mother, it’s the greatest gift you’ve ever given me”

He smiles at that, unguarded and lacking the usual bite to it his smiles carry, he’s not smug, nor teasing just happy.

“You’re my greatest gift. You and Naoto” he replies, so uncharacteristically serious, his eyes burn with a warm determination.

You almost let those 3 little words slip. They sit right there on the tip of your tongue, but fear holds you back, fear of what it would mean to admit such a thing, fear that he could never love you in the same way you love him.

Making you feel this way about him was the cruellest thing Naoya has done to you, but you do, you love him.

You want him to feel the same but you just can’t admit it, what does that say about you? That you would allow yourself to love a man like him? One that hurt you and the people you love, how could you admit to yourself you loved a man who forced himself on you?
And worse still that you craved desperately to be loved by that man?

Whatever your feelings they were thoughts better pondered another day, right now you just wanted to rest.

“Stay with me please? I just want to rest my eyes” you plead, afraid that if you fall asleep when you open your eyes Naoto will be gone, snatched up by the vultures in this place.

Naoya kisses your forehead, settling down beside you for the long haul.

“Shh, we’ll be here” he reassures you, watching over you as your eyes slowly close.

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The sound of the bedroom door sliding open and closed interrupts your reminiscing, the man of the hour himself stepping in and smirking down at you where you sit with Naoto.

“Huh? No greeting for your husband?” He snarls, his lip pulling up in displeasure, but he lacks any real annoyance, you can tell by the look in his eye, he’s just teasing.

“Sorry, I think I drifted off. welcome home”

Naoya crosses the room in his usual lazy swagger, lifting your chin to pull you into a messy kiss, the kind that leaves you a little breathless and a flush on your cheeks.

He smirks at the effect he has on you, reaching behind his back for something he was hiding from you.

“For you” he hums, offering you an elaborate bouquet that definitely looks professionally made, not the kind on display at little flower stands but something he had to go out of his way to have made for you.

You trade Naoto for the flowers, bringing the bouquet to your nose to smell the sweet fragrance.

“Am I dying?” You deadpan, to Naoya’s apparent amusement, a snort slipping from him as he flicks you on the forehead.

You don’t think he has ever given you flowers in the entire time you’ve known each other, never mind such an extravagant bouquet, infact the only time you ever receive flowers is from Maki and Mai, the gardeners are always up in arms about flower bushes being ravaged by animals.

Just what has gotten into him?

“This the thanks I get for doing something nice for my wife?” He grumbles, hugging Naoto close to his chest, he only needs the one arm to hold him securely, the other he gently pokes at his chubby cheek.

He looks so natural with your son in his arms you would think he’d been a father for years, like everything else in his life Naoya had taken to parenting as easy as breathing too.

It was infuriating, you really only had Miyo-San to help you navigate your new duties as a mother and still you were unsure of yourself a lot, but Naoya who’d never expressed any care for any children past or present was so good with Naoto.

You’d hoped he’d be back from his mission in time to see your son before he went to sleep, your baby was restless all day looking for his daddy after all, not even the twins, who your son favoured most, could cheer him up, you suspected he was teething and that was contributing to his awful mood.

“Your mommy’s a cruel woman isn’t she Naoto?” He grumbles, earning a laugh from you.

“They’re lovely, I’m just wondering what’s the occasion?” You laugh, after 11 years of being together he still managed to surprise you, thankfully in a good way this time.

You move to place the flowers in a vase on the coffee table, filling it with water from the half sipped glass you had sitting beside you.

“6 months today” he hums flashing you a grin before he moves to the bedroom, walking Naoto over to lay him in his crib, he covers him with the blanket you and Miyo made for him, brushing his hair back from his forehead, you follow along behind him, leaning against the doorway to watch him.

“You’ve been counting?” You shouldn’t be surprised given his perverted nature but you are surprised he’d care so much about waiting for you.

“Of course, I miss my little pussy after all, and I bet she misses me too” he smirks, looking back at you over his shoulder with an expression of pure hunger.

“Youre insatiable, not Infront of Naoto” you scold, but the flush to your cheeks and your pouty expression lets him know he’s had an effect on you, and he wouldn’t be Naoya if he didn’t exploit that.

“6 months without touching you, do you know what that does to a man?” He muses, strolling towards you, his arms wrapping around your waist to pull you tight against him.

“I didn’t think that kind of thing would matter to you” you huff.

“You kidding? What you thought I’d run out on my wife and son to bury my dick In some cheap whore?” He scoffs, his lip twitching, you hadn’t expected him to be so offended by your words.

By your silence Naoya seems to understand that it was exactly what you were expecting.

His father was hardly the paragon of monogamy, and though he admitted to you he had given you his virginity, you never expected him to be faithful to you for the rest of your life together.

You figured he’d find his pleasures wherever he could get them while you were unavailable, and you’d turn a blind eye because really what could you do? Ask him not to? And risk admitting that you wanted him to touch only you? That it might kill you to ever know he could love another? You’d rather choke on your tongue than ever admit such a thing.

“Is that what you think of me? After all I do for you” he pouts, struggling to stay offended as he gets a nice look at your swollen breasts down the collar of your robe: no bra, nipples hard and heavy with milk.

If he could high five Naoto he would.

“Close your eyes” he smirks suddenly, his hand reaching into his pocket.

“If you’re going to kill me id prefer to look at you”

“Shut-up. c’mon play along” he whines, turning you around, he slips something cold over your neck, a chain with a charm that nestles in the dip of your chest, you feel his fingers deftly closing the clasp on the nape of your neck, pressing a tender kiss over the spot before letting your hair fall back over it.

He turns you with a flourish, pulling you back into his arms as you laugh softly at his enthusiasm, you hand reaching to grab the charm now resting above your breasts.

A beautiful platinum locket rests in the palm of your hands, you find the little latch and open it to find a photo of Naoya holding Naoto at his ceremony to introduce him to the clan, this one is far better than the one that rests framed on Naoya's desk as it's just the two of them, the most important men in your life.

“Jewellery and flowers? What’s next a string quartet?” you blush, joking to hide how deeply touched you are by the gesture, had he been researching ways to woo a woman or something? His gifts were usually a little off the mark, always well-meaning guesses at what you would be pleased by, Makeup, kimono, enough lingerie to fill an entire closet.
You always thanked him for them, just appreciating that he thought to gift you something at all, but tonight he had managed to give you the perfect gift.

“Nah, but maybe I can give you something better” Naoya shrugs, lifting you up effortlessly into his arms and walking you to the futon, he lays you down gently, following you until he’s kneeling between your spread legs, arms on either side of your blushing face.

Your breath hitches as he pulls open your robe, groaning to himself at your naked body, how is it possible that you’ve gotten even sexier?

You move to cover yourself, embarrassed at the sight of your chest still leaking slightly from feeding Naoto.

He wrestles your arms down pinning them next your head, letting his fingers trace a path down them and over your collarbones, he’s uncharacteristically slow in his exploration of you, perhaps he’s trying to be accomodating to you.

“I’ve been thinking” he offers, cupping your breasts in his palms, giving them gentle squeezes to feel just how full they are.
You’re fit to burst, Naoto must be feeling off from teething, usually you aren’t so swollen.

“Don’t hurt yourself” you tease, letting your legs curl around him, tracing the back of his legs with your toes.

His squeezing of your chest makes you hiss at the sensitivity, they’re tender tonight, fuller than they should be, you’ll have to do some pumping after Naoya’s had his fill of you for the night.

“Maybe Naoto could benefit from having some brothers?”

“Did that old bastard put you up to this?” You scoff, that damn Naobito couldn’t be satisfied, he got one grandson and then he started talking about an army of them, all strong Zenin men like him he bragged, that old drunk was trying to kill you.

“Nah, this is all me” Naoya shrugs.

“And is this a request or a command?” You hum, you know Naoya doesn’t relent when he sets his mind to something, he’s determined that way.

“What do you think?” He grins, spreading your legs, lifting your thighs to settle on either side of his hips.

“You’re a cold hearted woman, making me lay beside you in this bed for 6 months without touching you” he growls, his hands roving over your body, overwhelmed with all the places he wants to touch you, to taste you.

“You play innocent, but I know you like torturing me” he continues,
“I bet you get so wet knowing I’m fucking my fist thinking bout you”

You groan, rubbing your thighs together, turned on by his words, but your body refuses you the reaction he deserves.

You should already be dripping for him at this point, you usually are, but as he dips his fingers between your sex he feels no moisture.

“Hmm?” He frowns.

“It’s not you, I-I read somewhere that women can have complications with… g-getting wet after birth” you stumble over your words, embarrassed beyond belief that you have to explain this to Naoya, it wasn’t that you felt no desire for him, or that you don’t crave his touch as much as he does you, it’s just your body has been going through so many changes after Naoto’s birth, you were sure it would be fine given time, of course you hadn’t expected your husband to be counting down the days till he could be inside you again.

Maybe it’s the pressure of meeting his demands that has you so tense.
You can’t lie and say you haven’t felt deeply insecure in your body since you started growing to accommodate your child, but Naoya was always quick to shut down your doubts, if anything he wanted you more after you started carrying.

You’re able to keep fit due to the strict schedule the Zenin clan runs on, so your body is in shape, if not a little more curvy than usual, but you do worry, about your stretch marks, the heaviness of your breasts and if your body will still feel pleasurable to Naoya.

It’s stupid but you want to be good for him, to be wanted and desired by him, if that 11 year old girl leaning over the koi pond could see you now, she’d probably drop kick you.

“Oh well, guess I’ll have to help my girl perform hah?” He drawls, undeterred by your bodies stubborn behaviour, you’re unsure what he’s getting at, watching him skeptically as he lowers himself further down your body.

“What do you-”

You don’t get to finish your sentence before he’s lifting your thighs over his shoulders, looking back up at you with a frankly devilish expression as he kisses you over your mound.

“Ah, you- that’s indecent-” you stutter, never has he tried to kiss you down there, you weren’t even sure if that was a thing men took pleasure in.

“Decency has no place in this marriage” he scoffs, endeared by your embarrassment, he honestly forgot you wouldn’t even know eating pussy was a thing, he kept you sheltered just the way he liked it.

“You’re my wife, which means I can get as filthy as I want with you” he hums, rolling the pad of his thumb over your clit with a hungry look in his eye.

You can’t help protesting.

“Are you sure you want to-”

“I’m sure. Lay back, spread your legs wide for me, let me see my girl” he interrupts, leaving no room for arguments.

You do as he says, letting your knees fall apart as far as they can with your legs on his shoulders, toes digging into his back nervously.

He smirks down at the sight of you, how he’s missed your pussy.

“She’s still just as pretty, let’s see how she tastes”

Before you can protest Naoya drags his tongue in a long swipe from your opening to your clit.

You gasp, arching off the bed, unsure if you want to chase the feeling or run away from it, how could just one touch from him light such a fire in you.

“Poor baby, you missed me too huh?” He croons, laughing at the embarrassed expression on your face as you realise he’s talking to your pussy, and not to you.

He wraps his arms around your thighs, giving you that toothy grin of his before he buries his tongue between your lips.

It’s electric, the sensation, his tongue hot and wet as it licks you up and down, and you keen at the feeling of it gently playing with your clit.

He laughs at the twitching of your thighs, the way your body tries to run from him, like it can’t take how good he makes you feel.

It’s that pride in having such an effect on you that drives him to bury his face in you completely, his tongue angling into your tight little hole while he uses his nose to grind against your sensitive bundle of nerves.

You haven’t changed a bit, he thinks, you still clench around him like you’re trying to strangle the life out of him, he can’t wait till he can feel you wrapped around his dick.

You can’t resist your body’s instinct to grind against him, your hips rolling in uncertain circles against his mouth, rocking against him.
He feels so good, his tongue buried deep in you, thrusting in and out, his nose bumping your clit with every thrust, you can feel a mixture of your coaxed wetness and his saliva dripping down your crack.

It’s lewd and filthy and so fucking good.

You cry out into the pillow from the intensity of it, trying to keep your voice down for Naoto’s sake, but his father groaning against your pussy and the filthy wet sound of him eating you out like he’s starving just might disturb your little angel’s sleep anyway.

You bury your fingers in Naoya’s bleached hair, unsure if you want to pull him deeper or push him away.

“More- please more” you manage to gasp out, tears of pleasure soak your face, if you were in your right mind you would feel embarrassed by your neediness but right now you can only chase that burning feeling.

“Whatever my baby wants” Naoya smirks, pulling away from you, and gods, is it a sight.
A flood of hot slick gushes from you at the sight of him, his face is flushed red like he’s been dipping into his Father’s collection, green eyes hazy with lust, hair wild and sticking up at odd angles, and your wetness has soaked his face from the bridge of his nose to the elegant definition of his chin.

His lips are red and swollen, saliva and you smeared over the back of his hand as he prepares to get back to work.

He offers you two of his fingers with a wink.

“Get them wet for me yeah?”

You don’t need to be told twice.

He groans at the way you take him in so eagerly, your pretty lips wrapping tight around his fingers, tongue lathing over them with renewed enthusiasm.
He’s surprised by your initiative, you’re usually so shy when you suck his cock, always demure and coquettish in your movements, even when he tests your limits and fucks your throat wild and hard you, always struggle a little to take what he dishes out with that lovely infuriating shyness, like you won’t allow yourself to be undone by him.

It only drives him that much wilder, seeing you behave so lewdly, so unabashedly over only sucking his fingers, if he knew eating your pussy would have you acting like this he’d have his head between your thighs every night.

“Naoya I-” he pulls his fingers from your mouth with a slick pop! A string of saliva connecting his digits to your lips, it’s so filthy.

“Don’t think, just feel me” he encourages.

His fingers slide into you with ease, he’s gotten you so wet he probably didn’t even need to wet them, but he wanted to be thorough, if he ended up hurting you again it could break this bliss you’ve fallen into, he doesn’t want you to ever hate him again the way you did when you were kids, he wants nothing but your love now that he knows what it feels like.

“Ah!” You gasp as he scissors his fingers inside you, stretching you out slowly while his tongue pays attention to your clit, rolling over it in tight circles, pausing momentarily to suck on it, kiss it, give it a gentle nibble that makes you arch up off the futon, before he repeats the process.

It’s too much, you feel like you’re on fire, the knot in your lower stomach winding tighter and tighter with every second.

Naoya can see it, can see how your stomach tenses and twitches with your thighs, your breasts bounce with the shaking of your body, you’re at your limit, and he only feels more determined to push you past that threshold.

His fingers thrust inside you, picking up pace as he crooks his fingers upwards, curling them against your slick walls and searching for that spot inside you he knows will make you tense up and shake in pleasure, he ignores your muffled whimpering and your pleas to slow down in favour of writing his name over and over again on your clit with his tongue.

Mine, he thinks. you’re all mine.

“Naoya, I can’t- something-” you stumble and trip over your words, desperately trying to convey that you feel something you aren’t used to, a pressure building inside you, gods you think you might.. And on Naoya, he’d kill you.

You try one last time to protest, trying to wriggle yourself out of his hold, but he speeds up unnaturally using his technique to thrust his fingers in you like a machine, his tongue rolling over you so fast it feels like he’s vibrating against you.

You can’t take it.

You cry out, biting down on your hands where they fly to cover your mouth, the muscles in your thighs tense up beneath his palms, your back lifts off the futon in such a way you worry you’ve broken it, and you shake and tremble like a leaf as you cum on Naoya’s tongue, a gush of hot liquid spraying onto him as you let go, you don’t even have it in you to feel ashamed, your vision whiting out and your brain ceasing all function as he forces you over that edge.

You squirted. Naoya groans at the realisation, letting his fingers fall from you so he can bury his face in your trembling pussy.

He licks you clean, ignoring the way you twitch and jump from sensitivity, he hushes you with gentle little hums and his hands massaging the tightness from your thighs where they shake in his hands.

Only when he’s swallowed every last drop of you does he pull back, wasting no time in undressing himself while he kneels over your ruined body, he smirks down at you, all confidence and pride at having reduced you to a puddle as he reveals his body to you one piece at a time.

He’s showing off, of course, he knows how much you like his physique, how much you try to convince yourself you aren’t affected by it, but whenever you two are like this you can’t keep your hands off him.

“I-I’m sorry” you manage to eke out, embarrassed by what just happened, you’ve never done that before, had no idea you were capable of such a thing, you don’t even know what that was, did you pee on him? Oh gods you’d never live it down, and why was he so happy if you had, he should be strangling you for doing something so degrading.

“You don’t even know what you did do you baby?” He coos, leaning down to kiss you as you start to cry, no doubt because you think you’ve wronged him somehow, how sweet his beautiful wife is, still so innocent even after all these years.

“You came, and now we aren’t stopping till I make you do it again” he explains, letting his cock fall over you, he grinds against you, catching his head on your clit while he slicks himself up through your wetness, you jump at the overstimulation, but you still pull his weight down ontop of you until he’s sandwiching his cock between your sweaty bodies regardless.

“We- we have to be quiet.. Naoto-” you try to reason with him but he’s swallowing you up in a possessive kiss before you can get your sentence out.

You taste yourself mixed with him, and moan at just how dirty that is, at how much of a slut he’s made you to find yourself so aroused over such a thing.

“He’ll be fine, he needs to get used to sleeping through the sound. I plan on fucking his mommy every night after all” he confesses against your lips, smirking at the sharp inhale you take at his dirty words.

“You can’t say something like that so casually-” you scold, embarrassed by how much his words turn you on.

“It’s fine. He probably remembers it from the womb anyway” Naoya shrugs, his lips drifting to the crook of your neck, his favourite place to mark you.

“You’re gonna kill me one of these days” you groan, covering your face with your hands in an attempt to hide your shame, but of course Naoya is having none of it.

He wrestles your hands down from your face again, guiding them to fall over his shoulders.

A gleam flashes in his eyes as he gazes down at you In reverence, his sharp eyes catching the moisture on your nipples.

You move to apologise, to cover your chest with something but he stops you in your tracks, his lips pressing against your wet breasts, tongue poking out to give you a curious lick.

“Naoya! You can’t- it’s for Naoto” you protest, beyond embarrassed at him doing such a thing.

You were acutely aware of his ‘fascination’ you would call it, with your breasts, his constant need to touch them only growing as your boobs started to fill with milk. He wasn’t ever subtle about it, never bothered hiding his particular fetish, but you never expected him to try drinking your milk, it was too embarrassing for you to comprehend, and you felt immensely guilty over how hot that made you feel.

“He’s had his fill, besides he’s getting a bit fat” your husband shrugs, smacking your hand away so he can continue inspecting your chest, giving into his curiosity and sucking one into his mouth.

“He’s not fat! He’s a baby” you spit, smacking him on the chest, he laughs at your protectiveness, you always get so fierce whenever someone mentions Naoto’s size in a disapproving way, he knows you love your chubby little boy.

“He needs to get used to sharing, you’ll be feeding two soon” he teases, delighting in the way you flush at his words.

“We can’t have another so soon Naoya..” you try to reason, even thinking of having another baby so soon was stressful, you don’t know how you’d manage such a thing, and though the thought of adding onto your little family was certainly enticing you had to be logical about this.

“I know, but it really gets me hot thinking of you heavy with my kids. So let’s just pretend we can okay” he shrugs, never dampened by your protestations, to him a ‘No’ was a ‘Yes’ waiting to happen with just the right amount of persuasion.

“And maybe, if it happens, it happens” he continues, kissing the frown from your lips.

“If you get me pregnant again before Naoto has turned 1 I’m gonna kill you” you seethe, and you will hold him to it.

“Then you better hope your body doesn’t decide that for us hmm?” he smirks down at you, guiding his cock inside you.
He eases in with little resistance, your body doesn’t tense up, you don’t try to force him out, your walls do tighten around him but you welcome him in.

He groans at the feeling of you clamping down on him, his lips seeking your own with renewed passion.

“Fuck. I missed this, you gotta ease up baby you’re too tight” he groans, massaging your hips with his thumbs, waiting for you to stop clenching around him like you’re trying to strangle him.

“Sorry, it’s still a lot” you wince, forcing yourself to relax, sex hasn’t been painful for you in a long time but sometimes you do scare yourself a little, your doctor says it’s perfectly normal to be wary after pregnancy, that you just have to go at your own pace.

You calm down, letting your body relax around him, your legs wrapping around his waist to pull him in.

Naoya rocks gently into you, stretching you out slowly.

You’re so beautiful, hair falling around you like a halo, that shy little smile on your face as you notice his admiration of you.

“I missed you” you confess, breathless and starry eyed, wrapping your arms around him, hating the smallest little space between you.

“Yeah?” He smirks, always a glutton for your affection.

“Yeah”

You’re already over sensitive from Naoya’s performance earlier, your body loose and relaxed from the earth shattering orgasm he gave you.

Maybe it’s the recent dry spell from your recovery, or maybe he’s finally achieved his dreams of making you as filthy as him because you feel that need for him again deep in the pit of your stomach, and this time you want to take charge.

Naoya seems to notice you have something you want to ask, his hips slowing as he pulls back to look down at you.

“What’s on your pretty little mind?” He asks, cupping your face in his palms, so you have nowhere to run.

“I-i want to.. Can I?” You stutter, pressing your palm flat against his chest, motioning to get on top of him.

“Fuck. You wanna ride me baby?” His eyes blow wide like a kid in a candy store, that smug grin always taunting you.

You nod, and he flips you both far too easily and swiftly, like he was just waiting for you to ask.

You’re no stranger to riding him, but he’s usually the one setting the pace, controlling you from below, but this time he seems far too content to let you control him.

You roll your hips, lifting yourself the barest amount on his cock before falling back down on it, he groans, nodding up at you to keep going, encouraging you to seek your pleasure.

You fuck him just like that, slowly working up to bounce in his lap harder, he curses and grips your hips in a vice, his body bowing forward, like you’re pulling him into your gravity.

It’s hot and wet and he can’t fucking take seeing you like this.

You guide his hand up your body, slow and sensual, putting on a show just for him.

His eyes widen as you coax him to wrap his hand around your throat, his gaze snaps to your own above him, questioning you, but the determined look in your own gaze only encourages the contact.

I want this, it says.

Your fingers squeeze around his own, your wedding ring’s bumping against each other as you force him to squeeze you, not enough to cut off your breathing but just enough to feel him there.

When he relents and gives you what you want, he groans at the way your head rolls back in pleasure, your long hair falling like water around you.

Your hips pick up speed, until your bouncing up and down so hard your whole body reverbs, muscles clenching, your body shaking, he can’t look away.

He thrusts up into you, matching the rhythm you’ve set for him, your hips roll and fall down on his cock, your fingers splayed across his chest for stability while your others holds his hand around your neck.

He’s never seen a more beautiful sight.
your breasts bounce with each buck of your hips, soft little moans escaping your lips no matter your attempts at biting back your sounds, trying to contain your noises of pleasure from spilling into the room, from breaking the charged space between you.

It’s devastating, the way your bodies work so perfectly in sync, he’s had you probably every possible way, but he’s never felt so much pleasure as he does in this moment, helping you take what you want from him.

He lets you guide him, but he can’t resist thrusting up into you, making you squirm and guiding your hips as they shudder and falter the closer you get to that peak.

You speed up, grinding over him, your voice rising, shaky moans being torn from you with every pass of your hips over him, every bump of your clit on the muscles of his groin.

You cum like that, creaming around him while he bounces you on his cock, the tightness of your pussy clamping around him pulling him over that edge right behind you with a startled moan.

He yanks you down ontop of him so he can groan into your mouth as he fills you up, his cock twitching inside you, hungry for more as you slowly ease up on him, your insides painted white and overflowing with him.

He pulls out with a broken groan, kissing you as he brushes your hair back from your face, taking in every detail of your drunken expression.

You’re so raw like this, so soft and beautiful, no hiding from him.

“Fuck, you have any idea how sexy that was?” He groans against your lips, hands kneading the fat of your ass.

“Why don’t you show me?” You smirk, surprising him with your confidence, it’s hot.
He should let you take charge more often.

“You don’t know what you’re getting yourself into” he grins, sharp teeth and that crazy look in his eyes.

He flips you both with ease, manoeuvring you beneath him until you’re on your knees, facing the head of the futon with your ass in the air, his legs propping your own open as he guides himself into you again, the mixture of your cum and his own squelching out around his cock and dribbling to the duvet below your spread legs.

It’s obscene, he smirks down at you as you hide your face in the pillow, but he won’t let you be ashamed.

That look in his eye tells you he likes what he sees, encouraging you to let go even further.

You look back over your shoulder at him, giving him a teasing smirk as you shake your hips back on him, earning a sharp smack on your ass that he soothes with his warm palm, letting his fingers trace up the curve of your spine before wrapping around you.

One arm coils around your throat again, giving a soft squeeze that makes your breath hitch while he pulls you up and against him with an arm around your stomach.

He thrusts up inside you with renewed force, bouncing you on his cock, your hands cover your mouth pressing your moans back into your throat before they can slip out.

The sound of your cunt swallowing him eagerly is already far too loud for the quiet of the room, the rhythmic squelching and the slap of his hips connecting with your ass filling the room with the sounds of your eager coupling.

Your eyes drift to Naoto in your haze of pleasure, scanning over his sleeping face, he hasn’t moved an inch, still sleeping soundly clutching his fox teddy.

His peace gives you permission to lose yourself in Naoya, you hold his hand over your stomach, pressing down against where he bulges inside you, the pressure heightening the pleasure of him bumping your cervix with each strong thrust.

He moans at the sensation, his fingers sliding down your arched body to play with your swollen clit, it has you hunching over, your body trying to struggle away from the intense feeling, your hips losing their rhythm in favour of bucking with wild abandon simultaneously trying to escape him and pull him deeper.

“Oi, stop running from me” he snarks, panting against your ear, giving it a gentle bite before pulling you into a kiss.

“You dish it out, you better fucking take it” he bites down on your neck, giving you a love bite he’ll want you to proudly wear, much to your own embarrassment.

You seize up from the intensity of everything he’s throwing at you, your body trembling and shaking around him like he’s hit a live wire, you can’t stop yourself from screaming out his name as you come around him, squirting all over his cock and the futon.

“That’s my girl” he groans, burying himself as far as he can inside you while he releases again, this one taking more out of him, his body bowing over your own as you collapse into the mess you’ve both made.

He pants into your shoulder, his heart matching the rapid beating of your own as you lay hunched over each other in bliss, his fingers find your own, curling between them so your left hands are connected, wedding rings glinting beside each other.

His lips drift over your shoulder, pressing kisses over your flushed skin while you come down from your high.

A soft babble breaks the silence of the room, your head snapping to the sound.

Naoto moves in his cot, rolling over onto his tummy as he coos to himself, unbothered by yours and Naoya’s interruption of his sleep.

“Shit, my bad baby” Naoya huffs, pushing his hair back from his forehead as he slowly pulls back from you, he moves to slips his hakama back on, tossing your gown back over your spent body.

“Let me-” you start to push yourself up on shaky legs, pulling your gown back over yourself, but Naoya stops you. Leaning down to suck a love bite on your ass cheek.

“Ow! Our son’s watching you perv!” You scold him, glaring over your shoulder at his smug laugh.

“I got him” he smirks, already dodging where your arms flailed back to hit him, crossing the room to pick up his son.

You hear Naoto’s laughter and his excited little babbles as he realises his father has come home.

You manage to roll over to look at them both, a warmth settling in your chest at the sight.

Naoto clings to his father, babbling all the while like he couldn’t wait to talk to him, his thick black hair is sleep mussed, curling up at odd angles like a fluffy little duck’s butt.

You can’t help laughing at the sight, he’s just too cute.

Naoya brings him over to the futon, laying him down between you as he joins you in bed.

Your son turns to you, giggling to himself as he notices you smiling at him, his father’s eyes sparkling back at you with that familiar mischievousness, he’s definitely going to be a handful when he’s older, you think.

“You should be sleeping” you scold him, though you reach out to pull him towards you regardless, he squeals in delight, chubby little hands immediately finding your chest.

Like father like son.

Naoya leans over to kiss you on your forehead, ruffling Naoto’s mess of curls even more, earning him a giggle from his son.

“Daddy’s fault, didn’t know mommy would scream so loud” he smirks, shuffling to cradle you both in his arms with a look that is far too smug.

“Don’t make me punch you” you huff, earning a laugh and a far too self satisfied kiss from your bastard of a husband.

You lay together like that, Naoya talking to Naoto about his day, while you watch them both, feeling yourself slowly succumbing to sleep at the peacefulness of the moment.

“I need to clean up” you grumble, though your body protests at the idea you need to change the duvet, you can feel it clinging uncomfortably to your skin from your coupling, you hope the futon was safe from the splash zone, your body is a little too worn out after all that to be rolling up the futon and replacing it, you’d wash it in the morning, far too spent to bother trekking down to the laundry now.

You don’t want Naoto sleeping in your mess, as he’d cling to you and his father for the rest of the night now.

He usually ends up in your bed through the night anyway, Naoya likes him close, worries for him though he won’t admit it when he can’t feel him close.

You clean yourself up quickly, redressing in a fresh gown and cotton panties, Naoya had already rolled up the futon by the time you were finished, tossing it into the bathroom until tomorrow.

After cleaning himself up he helped you roll out the spare and prepare it for you both while you got Naoto settled.

It didn’t take long for Naoto to wear himself out again, he sat between you and his father in the freshly made bed, playing and babbling at you both until his eyes grew heavy and he curled against you to drink himself back to sleep.

Naoya’s eyes burn into you while you rock him to sleep, it wasn’t unusual to catch him focused on your chest while you fed your son, only this time his gaze was a lot softer.

“Don’t tell me you still aren’t satisfied” you tease, hoping he wasn’t gearing up for another round, you loved the intimacy but gods he exhausted you.

He grins, tracing your arm where it rests over Naoto, patting his bum gently, soothing him into deep sleep.

“I’m never satisfied, want you all the time” he says, far too casually, as typical for him, he seems to enjoy making you stumble with his words.

“But I’m just thinking” he sighs, his eyes close, those infuriatingly thick and long eyelashes of his fluttering against his cheeks.

Not for the first time you find yourself thinking, for a clan that claimed to boast male superiority he sure was pretty, he’d make a beautiful woman in another life.

“Talk to me” you encourage him, lacing your hand with his own.

“It’s nothing important, I’m just happy” he admits, thumb tracing circles over your hand, never content with just touching you.

“Zenin Naoya, happy, it’s gonna rain” you deadpan.

“Shut-up” he chuckles, you’re always such a smartass.

He can admit it now that he’s always liked that about you, enjoyed the two of you going at each other’s throats when you were kids, you always had something smart to say to him, he was too stubborn or too shy to admit he thought you were funny back then.

How times change.

“Are you happy?” He asks, you look up at him surprised by his sudden line of questioning.

Happy? You don’t think he’s ever asked you that before, he looks hopeful and scared all at once like your answer could make or break him.

“I didn’t think I could be for a long time, but now..” you admit, squeezing his hand as you gaze into those green eyes you’ve grown to adore.

“Sometimes I feel like I shouldn’t be, but I am. I’m happy here, with you and our baby” you mean it, though it hurts your pride to say it, you couldn’t imagine being anywhere else but here right now.

He exhales, like a weight has been lifted from his chest.

“Good”

He leans over to kiss you, over the faint line on the corner of your lips, where he had once hurt you.
You aren’t ignorant to the way his lips drift there often, you know he regrets hurting you, and as strange as it sounds you forgave him for it a long time ago.

“I want you to be happy, always” he continues, pulling back to look over you, he never gets sick of it, just watching you.

There’s a soft energy between you two, a calm that settled in over the years without you noticing, without your permission.

You feel it in his gaze, In the restlessness of his hands, those 3 little words sitting heavy between you.

“Will you ever say it to me?”

He seems surprised you addressed the elephant in the room, his cheeks flushing that adorable shade of pink.

You can confidently say you’re the only person on earth to make Zenin Naoya, the prodigal son, blush like a school boy.

“Do you need me to? I thought it was obvious from the first time we met” he huffs, he doesn’t know why it’s so hard for him to just say it to you, he’s felt it his whole life, but he can’t bring himself to just spit the words out. Damnable pride.

To Zenin men love is a fallacy. A weakness.

Women weren’t deserving of love, of devotion, they were just tools at the end of the day, wombs to further the clan.

But you, he could never think of you like that.
Maybe that’s why he hated you so much when you were kids, why he felt the need to put you in your place.

Your mere existence went against everything he was taught, everything drummed into his head.

He loves you, he always has.

His family are wrong. Loving you doesn’t make him weak, it made him strong, and now with the little family you’ve carved out for yourselves he won’t allow anything to come between you.

“You don’t have to, I just need to know you do” you confess.

It isn’t easy for you to admit, but you need the reassurance.
You can’t keep torturing yourself wondering if you’re allowed to feel this way, if he feels it too.

“I do.. Do you?” He looks right into you, gaze unsure and yet full of determination.

Hope, the thing with wings, unfolds in your chest.

A tear slips down your cheek, Naoya catches it with his lips, pressing the salt of it into your own.

“Yeah, I do” you admit, it’s freeing, it feels like letting go and reaching out all at the same time.

Naoya smiles, kissing you again and again until you’re breathless and giddy, scolding him for almost waking Naoto again.

He’s quick to remind you your screaming woke him up, dodging your attempt to swat at him with a smug little grin.

You fall asleep arguing with each other over it, curled together with Naoto between you.