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Steven blinked his eyes open when his phone rang. "Hello?"
"Hey, you wanna go for a drink or something? I'll buy." Axl sounded weird, but Steven just put it down to his phone screwing things up.
"Sure. Where at?"
"Is Rage alright?"
"Yeah, man. I can be there in... ten, maybe?"
"Alright. See you in a minute." Axl hung up before Steven could even respond.
Steven pushed open the swinging doors to find Axl already holed up at a table in the corner. There were already two full drink glasses on the table. "You didn't wanna sit at the bar?"
Axl shook his head. "Don't really wanna talk to a lotta people right now."
Okay, he definitely sounded weird. Like quiet and raw like he'd been screaming or something. Steven sat down at the other side of the table. He tried to grab Axl's hand but he pulled away. "What's wrong, man?"
Axl shook his head again. He took a deep breath and swallowed down the lump in his throat. "My dad's dead."
"What?"
"Someone he was working with shot him. No one found him for a few days. He's..." Axl stared down at the table. He could feel himself going bright red.
"I don't wanna be an ass, but didn't he hit you? What's—"
"Not him. My real..." Axl trailed off. He already felt like a moron being this close to tears for that degenerate, he definitely didn't have it in him to claim him like that.
"I'm so sorry."
"So fuckin' stupid," he spat under his breath. "I didn't even know him."
"That's not stupid. He was still your dad."
"No, it's... I'm sorry I dragged you all the way out here, I know it's late I just..."
"You don't have to apologize."
"I couldn't talk to anyone else." Axl was talking past Steven, staring through him with nothing in his eyes.
"Why not?" It felt like a dangerous question, but Axl was the one that brought it up.
"Izzy already knows what happened, he's just gonna think I'm nuts. And Slash and... They just won't get it. They don't... they won't get it. Maybe you won't either, I hope you don't, but you won't... won't say anything."
Steven reached for Axl's hand again and this time he didn't pull away. "What happened?"
"He... Before he ran away, he did some... stuff." Stuff? God, he sounded ridiculous. Axl rubbed his eyes and his face with his free hand. He wasn't crying yet, but it was coming and he needed something to do with his hands anyway. "He... fucked me," he started, finally settling on the less violent of the words he was struggling between, "when I was a baby. I don't... I guess I kinda remember it happenin', but I don't really remember him, y'know? I just... It's really fuckin' messy to miss someone who did that to you."
Steven almost felt his heart stop. That was bad. Really really really bad. But Axl already knew that. There wasn't any point in making it some big thing. "I'm so sorry. I..." He just stopped. There weren't any good words for this kind of thing. Nobody made "sorry your dad molested you" cards because you can't exactly boil it down to just a nice quick line and move on. "Do you wanna talk about it?"
"I don't know," Axl whispered. Tears were really streaming down his face now. He pulled his hand away from Steven to wipe his eyes, then put his head down and just grabbed the back of his neck. "It's not... He fuckin' sucked, man. I know that. You don't get shot by a meth dealer if you're a standup guy, but... Everything was so fucked, growing up. It's... I know you know, but it was worse than what I ever really said. A lot worse. So living in hell, basically, my..." Axl didn't have it in him to call the fucker that again. "He was like a way out, I guess. It was this massive relief to figure out I wasn't related to my mom's husband and, I don't know, man. It felt like a kinda lifeline knowing there was some other family out there, someone with, like, my eyes and shit. And now he's just gone."
Steven got up without a word and sat down in the chair next to Axl. He moved to touch his back but stopped with his hand in the air. "Can I touch you?"
"Please," Axl rasped. He could feel the tension in his chest rising up into his throat to strangle him. He needed some kind of anchor to keep him in the real world. "I hate..." He didn't even know where that sentence was going. He hated a lot of things in that moment.
After a second, he checked his watch. Tears and the two drinks already in his system made his eyes blur, but it was fucking late. "I should probably..." It made him feel like a child, but he didn't wanna go home. Slash was there and maybe he was asleep but maybe he wasn't and Axl just didn't have it in him to have to play this off.
"You wanna come home with me?" Steven offered.
"Your... your girlfriend won't mind?"
"She's off with her parents, she won't even know."
Axl nodded. "Yeah, just let me—"
"I'll get the bill." Axl looked up at Steven but he didn't even try to argue. He was too drained. He just nodded.
"You want your drink?"
"You take it. One of us has to drive."
Axl was slumped over in Steven's passenger seat. He was four drinks deep, now, and fading fast. He was so tired. And heavy.
Steven pulled into his spot and got out of the car. He opened Axl's door for him and helped him to his feet. He kept Axl's arm around his shoulders to hold up some of his weight. He walked Axl into his apartment and all the way to his bedroom.
"You don't have... I can sleep on the couch, I—"
"It's fine, dude, I promise. Take the bed."
"Thank you." Axl looked so sincere it almost hurt. His eyes were still watery and now they were round and wide. He looked like a big kid.
"Don't mention it."
Steven shut the door behind Axl. He went straight for his landline and punched in Slash's number. "You awake?"
"Of course." He could hear Slash grinning through the phone. "What's up?"
"I need a... favor, I guess." That was a close enough word.
"Anything. Is everything alright?"
"Yeah, just... I can't tell you too much, you just gotta trust me on this. Axl's here and he's not doing great. He won't talk about it, but he's dealin' with something. Could you just maybe go a little easy on him the next few days?"
"For sure."
"And could you... I don't think Duff and Izzy are gonna take me seriously, could you maybe..."
"Yeah, I'll tell 'em. He's gonna be alright?"
"I think so. Just give him time."
"Alright. See you tomorrow?"
"See you."