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Ford had honestly forgotten all about it. He'd found it back when he was in his 20s: young, dumb, and full of an unquenchable thirst for knowledge. He'd made a lot of discoveries back then, and honestly this one had barely registered.
After all, what use did a spry 20-something have for a fountain of youth?
He had absolutely no interest in reliving his teenage years, and being any younger would only be a hazard to his research. So, he'd (very, very carefully) bottled some of the water and stored it away on a shelf in his lab, and hadn't thought of it since.
Until now, of course.
Ford had been watching his brother closely. Ever since Weirdmageddon, all sorts of terrifying health problems had been coming to light, and Ford did not want to risk losing his brother to something as inane as heart disease. Not after everything.
So when Stan had woken up that morning favoring his right leg, Ford noticed immediately.
"'S just an old injury actin' up," Stan said when he asked. "It always kinda hurts, but some days are worse than others."
Ford frowned, disliking the idea that his brother had been in constant pain and hadn't told him. "Do you take medication for it?" He knew it was a silly question as soon as he asked. Ford could barely get Stanley to take medication for genuinely life-threatening illnesses, let alone a little bit of (constant) pain. "Well, surely there's something we can do to alleviate it?"
"I've been dealin' with this for 30 years. There's nothin' you can do unless you can turn back the clock, Sixer."
And that was when he finally remembered that little vial tucked away in the back of his supplies.
Ford shot up from the breakfast table and bolted to the lab on their ship, ignoring Stan's annoyed mumbling behind him. Frantically, he rifled through his hoard.
He'd brought everything he thought he could possibly use from his home lab with him onto the ship. It had to be there. It had to.
Finally, at the back of a mostly-unused shelf, he spotted it: water from the fountain of youth. With a triumphant yell, he snagged the bottle and darted back to the kitchen.
Stanley eyed him, fork full of eggs frozen on its way to his mouth. "Whatcha got there?"
Ford grinned manically. Stan put his fork down.
"Stanley, do you want to be with me for the rest of our lives?"
"...Is this a proposal?"
Ford blinked. "What? No." He paused, head tilted. "Well, I didn't intend that, but we can certainly discuss-"
"Get to the point."
"Right." Ford placed the bottle on the table and took a seat, grasping his brother's hand in his own. "We have wasted so much time. I have spent decades missing you and resenting you and hating myself for both. Now that we're finally together, who knows how long we have left? And how long we have to actually enjoy it?" He looked at the bottle. "You asked for a way to turn back the clock; this is it. This is the answer to our problems, Stanley. The fountain of youth."
His eyebrows shot up. "No kiddin'?" Stan picked up the bottle gently in his free hand, scrutinizing its contents. "How young are we talkin'?"
"I don't know exactly." Stan opened his mouth to protest, but Ford cut him off. "When I ran my experiments when I first studied the water, it consistently decreased the age of the imbiber by approximately half, but I can't give a precise age it would return us to."
"Around half, huh? So somewhere around 30?"
Ford nodded.
Stan hummed thoughtfully. "Not exactly a great time for me." He glanced at Ford. "Or probably you."
Ford waggled his hand. "Depends on the year. Some were markedly better than others. Regardless, it just returns your body to the physical state it was in at that age. Current memories and everything should remain intact."
"Should?" Ford grinned at him. "You're such an asshole."
"So?" Ford asked. "What do you think?"
Stan stood from the table silently. Ford closed his eyes, trying not to let the implied rejection sting. Stanley could make his own choices, after all. Not everything was about him.
A dull thud hit the table in front of him. Ford's eyes snapped open to see a shot glass sitting in front of him.
He turned to see Stan pouring a shot full of the water from the fountain of youth into his own glass. "I think," Stan said as the water trickled out, "we are gonna scare the pants offa the kids when we video call them later."
He held the bottle out to Ford with a soft smile. Ford's fingers brushed against Stan's as he took it, smiling in return. "They won't know what hit them."