Chapter Text
"Ughhhhhhhh" Tattletale complained. "Coil is such an asshole. First he blackmails all of us into being villains, then he starts blackmailing the mayor!"
There was a knock on her door. "Hey Lisa, are you ok? It's past midnight..." It was Taylor.
"Yeah, don't worry about me. I'm just thinking about the mayor" Lisa called back, closing her laptop and rolling into bed. If only there was a way to expose Coil AND stop him from blackmailing mayor Christner, she thought.
Taylor went back to her room and sat in her bed. She thought about what Lisa had said, and what she had said out loud when she must've know Taylor's bugs were listening. Obviously, she was hinting at something. A plan, probably. But what?
*The Next Day*
"Hey Lisa, I figured it out." Taylor said, not looking up from her newspaper and tea.
"What?" Lisa asked
"What you were telling me last night. The plan to get back at Coil." Taylor said.
Lisa raised one eyebrow and shrugged. "Just fill me in before you do anything drastic. Remember, we're a team."
Taylor nodded. "Of course. I'm going to swing by town hall this morning to get the paperwork."
Lisa's power helpfully explained that Taylor was probably thinking about getting an authority figure involved.
"Should I get a public announcement set up?" Lisa asked.
Taylor nodded. "Yeah. Good thinking. I'm going to offer the position of campaign manager to you."
Lisa's power helpfully shorted out and went "wh- uh- w- wait, what? what?"
Taylor folded the newspaper, set down her tea, put on her mask (she was already wearing her costume), and walked out the door, leaving Lisa to process what had just happened.
----
"Um. Can I help you?" asked the clerk.
"Hi. I'd like to file a candidacy for mayor." Skitter said.
The clerk, whose name tag read 'Johnson', blinked. "Aren't you a villain?"
Skitter shrugged. "I haven't been convicted of anything. There was a candidate last election who was only running to try and pardon himself from his pyramid scheme getting metaphorically nuked by Watchdog. You let him run."
Johnson gulped. "Do you have any experience in politics?"
Skitter shrugged "I know how laws work. There was a candidate last election who thought that a mayoral pardon would work for a federal crime. You let him run."
Johnson tugged at his shirt, clearly grappling with the idea of being known as the guy who let a villain run for mayor. However, she wasn't technically NOT allowed to run...
"Alright." He acquiesced. "Here's the paperwork. I'll collect it when you're done." He frowned nervously.
Skitter picked up a pen.
L NAME: Villain
F NAME: Skitter
MI: D
DOB: Classified
ADDRESS: Undersiders Secret Base
Johnson gawked at her paper. "You're telling me your name is 'Skitter D. Villain'? And your birthday is classified? Are you even old enough to run?"
Skitter glared up at him. "Are YOU trying to find out my secret identity? Haven't you ever heard of the unwritten rules?"
Johnson squinted at her. "No? I've never heard of that before in my life. Is it a cape thing?" He asked, but stopped himself from asking anymore questions when Skitter held her glare at him.
She finished filling out the paperwork and pushed it into his hands. As she got up to leave she saw Gallant and Vista walking in through the front door.
"Skitter!" Gallant yelled
"Oh. Hey, Gallant. Hey, Vista. How's it going?" Skitter responded.
"We're here to stop you from... uh... what ARE you doing here?" Vista asked
"Paperwork." Skitter said, the eye roll noticeable in her voice.
Gallant put a hand to his chin, like on the thinker statue. "What for?"
"You'll see. Announcement later today" Skitter said, walking past the two heroes out of the building.
*Later that day*
"If I'm elected mayor, I promise to crack down on animal violence and the foul practice of dogfighting! If I'm elected mayor, I promise to crack down on Hard Drugs with effective rehabilitation programs! If I'm elected mayor, I promise to recommission the abandoned Endbringer shelter in the commercial district!" behind her mask, Taylor raised an eyebrow to Tattletale, who was sitting next to the teleprompter she was reading from. Lisa nodded like she would explain later and rolled her hand in a 'keep going' gesture. "If I'm elected mayor, I promise to pass the Lesbian Gay Etc Nonbinary Defense, or LeGEND act! If I'm elected mayor, I promise to begin scrapping operations on the boat graveyard, from which the raw materials will go directly back into city infrastructure!" Skitter raised a hand for the camera, making a fist. It was a really supervillain-y mid-monolouge gesture. "I will fight for the downtrodden, the powerless, and those without a voice. Vote for Skitter for mayor!"
*Meanwhile, at Medhall*
"A GAY LAW?!" Kaiser yelled to a room full of Empire capes. "That bug bitch! She dares?!"
Hookwolf pounded a fist on the table. "My fightin' rings!" he growled.
Victor scowled. "Who else is running? We need to support any other campaign from hers."
*Meanwhile, at the Merchant's hideout*
"CRACKING DOWN ON HARD DRUGS?!" Skidmark yelled to a room full of... Trainwreck. Mush was asleep on a moldy couch somewhere and Squealer was in her garage.
"Those fucks are gonna fuck our biz!" he growled, flipping the TV off with both fingers. "We fucking gotta fucking make fucking sure they fucking don't fucking win! Since I'm a super genius, I got a plan."
*Meanwhile, in the abandoned Endbringer shelter in the commercial district*
"What the hell??? I'm paying her! She turns on me like this? Tries to expose my secret base? She must've found it with bugs! Whatever, I'll just donate a bunch of money to what's-his-face who I'm already blackmailing so he wins anyway." Coil opened up his computer.
His eyes inside his costume widened with shock. "DROPPED OUT OF THE RACE TO FOCUS ON HIS FAMILY? THAT'S NOT F- ooooh. I see. The PRT are holding on to him to take over whenever they actually get their hands on Skitter and she can't be mayor anymore. Whatever. I'm sure whoever else is running is just as susceptible to blackmail and bribery. Everyone is susceptible to blackmail and bribery. That's why I do it to everyone I meet."
*Meanwhile, in the office of some random guy*
"Wow! I can't believe my luck! My only opponent in the mayor race is now a villain with a scary reputation, AND I got three massive donations! All in one day! No scandal could stop me now!" Said Guy Randy as he cheered.
A news team burst through the door. A rather large camera was shove in Guy Randy's face, not that he minded. A well-dressed reporter held a microphone.
"Mr. Randy! How does it feel to get three large donations in one day?" The reporter asked.
Guy Randy scratched his chin. "Well, I gotta say, I'm glad all these people agree with my policies. Well, that or they understand that having villains run the city would be... well, it would be a disaster. Overall, I'm feeling... pretty great, actually!"
"Wonderful!" Exclaimed the blonde reporter. "Alright, Alec. I think that's all we needed!"
The cameraman smiled. "Finally! I'm going on break! To the demo section of the video game isle of the electronics store!" he yelled as he left.
The reporter turned to Guy Randy. "At least he's not a nepo hire, amiright?" she said as she left as well.
Guy Randy shrugged. They must've been the only cameraman and reporter available. Oh well, back to premature celebration of his mayoral win!
*later that night*
Taylor sat on the couch watching TV. The news was just getting to the good part!
"-running against Skitter is Guy Randy, who describes himself as 'moderate, but a little bit of everything'. Today, he received three large donations from what could only be the Empire Eighty-Eight, The Archer's Bridge Merchants, and Coil's Organization. When asked about these donations, Randy had this to say"
The video cut to a very happy looking man in his office. "I'm glad all these people agree with my policies."
The video cut forwards a bit. "having the villains run the city would be..." Guy Randy seemed to shift a bit. "pretty great, actually!"
When the feed returned to the news anchors, it showed nothing but shocked faces. "Did he actually say that? Holy shit" one of them said under their breath, but loud enough for the microphones to pick up.
Taylor looked up at Danny, who was now watching the TV from behind the couch, having stopped to watch as he passed by.
"Wow." Said Danny. "I knew he was a union-busting asshole, but I never expected him to be in the pocket of three different gangs. At least Skitter will keep her crimes out of the docks..."
"You're not worried about a villain running for mayor?" Taylor asked, surprised
Danny shook his head. "The gangs have run this city one way or another for a long time now. If not in someone's pockets, the mayor would have to make concessions anyway to avoid attacks"
"Skitter doesn't seem like she wants to make concessions" Taylor said, as the TV rolled through a list of Skitter campaign promises.
"I suppose..." Danny started "The other gangs might think twice if they have to contend with the Undersiders as well as the police, PRT, and Protectorate. Though, the latter might have to arrest the Undersiders if they're doing any crimes, mayor or no."
"You sound like you're talking about a gang alliance or something" Taylor said.
"Eh." Danny said. "I've met gang leaders; I've met politicians. They're more similar than they are different. Besides, did you hear she wants to clean up the boat graveyard?"
"Huh" Taylor said.
*The next day*
Taylor sat on the couch of the Undersiders lair. Lisa had set up a cork board along the wall of the lair full of various campaign materials. Taylor's spiders worked overtime in the weaving area. Lisa walked in with a new printout and tacked it to the board.
"I've set up a campaign rally for tomorrow night. A surprising amount of people are going to be there. Armsmaster has already RSVP'd despite not receiving an invite, though I'm pretty sure that's just to scare us into not doing any villainous activity during the event." She said with an eyeroll.
Taylor nodded. "We did expect at least as much, didn't we?" she shrugged.
"Yeah. Though, with how fast he did so, it's safe to say that they're likely on high alert to respond to your campaign." Lisa said.
"I'm surprised they haven't put forwards a candidate of their own." Taylor said.
Lisa smirked. "It's not like they can order any of the heroes to run, and they're pretty busy. Armsmaster might've, if he wasn't the leader of the Protectorate. That kinda goes for the PRT suits too. For a lot of them, mayor would be a demotion, or at least might seem like it."
"But what about Christner?" Taylor asked.
"If he doesn't run, and you win, and the PRT get you, they can replace you with him. If he does run, he's technically already a candidate and therefore already 'lost' the election. It's some special cape rule that was technically originally about if a candidate triggers mid-election and pulls out of the race or resigns because of it, but if we got a decent lawyer we could totally use it to blast them with and force a special election which would give you time to escape and run again as your own replacement." Lisa answered.
Alec walked into the lair from his room and pulled the most battery-acid-y energy drink out of the refrigerator.
"Hey dorks, I'm all for fucking with random politicians, but the election's not for another two months." He walked over to the couch. "Video games are for right now. Move ya butt."
Taylor moved over to a chair by the campaign plan board.
Lisa gave Alec a look, then turned back to Taylor. "Oh, I also managed to snag an invite to that PRT fundraiser on Thursday. How far along is your mayor costume?"
Taylor paused for a moment. "The body and mask are done, I just need to make the hat. Although... maybe I can snag Trickster's?"
Lisa shook her head. "Nah, Coil's relocating the Travelers out of the city. If we didn't have a campaign to run I'd say road trip, but, well, we're a little too busy."
"Damn." Said Taylor. "I should be ready by tomorrow night. I'll call my dad and tell him I'm staying over. Wanna draft some policy?"
Lisa sighed. "Yes, Taylor. I would love to draft policy with you."
"Gaaaaaaaaay" called Alec from the couch.
"He's right." said Taylor, with a nod.
Lisa raised an eyebrow.
"We have to actually write that LeGEND bill" Taylor addended.
"Of course, sweetie" Lisa smiled.
"What?" Taylor squeaked.
Lisa rolled her eyes, still smiling. "Nothing, don't worry about it."