Work Text:
11:12AM
Ilya: Get the fuck out here!
Troy reads the text and gets up to put on his jacket. He kisses Harris at the door,
“I’ll be back in a few hours.”
“Tell Ilya hello for me.”
“You going to be bored without me?” Troy tries to bait Harris for another kiss.
“Bored? I’m going to Dolce Café with Amy and Heather for an afternoon open mic, so…yes.” Harris smiled and kisses Troy again. “No, it’ll be fun, and I’ll see you back in a few hours.”
Troy sneaks in a peck and takes off. When he runs down the stairs of the apartment complex and walks outside, Ilya, is leaning against a new car, parked in front of the building. Troy laughs,
“Holy shit, is this another new car?”
Ilya shrugs, “I traded in my McLaren. Wanted something new.”
“Red?”
“Da, Shane looks good in red.”
“I thought ‘Shane looks good in Yellow,’ I recall you saying?”
‘Da, he does, I still have the Lotus, alright, get in. We need to speed.” Ilya gets into his driver side and the music starts bumping, though Troy can barely make it out, it’s more vibration than song.
Before he gets in he takes a long look at the car and raises his eyebrows, “Damn it’s sick.” He says to himself before he opens the car door and jumps in.
*
“And so the great thing about the brand is its more of a lifestyle choice than just a product you know?” A man Shane cannot remember the name to is cornering him at the bar as Shane nods agreeingly lost in his own thoughts. He really wished he could have gotten out of this brand deal’s breakfast. He was supposed to spend all day working at a photoshoot for this new “cutting-edge” Spandex wear but not before being dragged to a brunch spread to listen to the board of execs drone on as if they invented the wheel. It was like added torture. He can’t stop thinking about Ilya, who early this morning was acting a bit distant, or maybe just off. Not even sad, just…off kilter. Shane tried to push but Ilya didn’t give an inch. If something was wrong, he was hiding it, which now makes Shane overthink more than he already does. Before, he’d accept Ilya at face value, he’d laugh at the diversion joke and believe Ilya when he said everything was good, now, unfortunately, he doubts Ilya, or rather he wonders. Wonders if an insidious feeling is lurking underneath Ilya’s cool exterior. Shane keeps replaying the morning conversation in his head, feeling as though he’s missing something.
~earlier that morning~
“Must you do boring brand day? I thought maybe…. since beginning of season is so soon, and we will be busy, we could…” Ilya trailed off and started covering Shane in kisses. Wrapping his arms around him and smothering him like a prisoner in their bed. Shane laughs as Ilya continues, kissing him and explaining his plan, “maybe do a picnic, by the river, I make Shashlik on the grill, Olivier salad, you like that… we take it down and watch the water… is so nice out, birds are singing, sun is out…”
It all sounded so nice that Shane had a hard time giving an excuse, Ilya continued, “then we go to movies, I know place with old films I watched as a kid… I show you...” kissing continues. It was so very seductive that it almost worked, but Shane interjects
“My mom set this up, it’s not my fault!” and that seemed to pause Ilya, but Shane pressed on, “I can’t believe I forgot too. I’m lucky I even checked my email last night.” Shane breaths this into Ilya’s neck. “I’m sorry. I should be back around dinner maybe.”
“Maybe?” Ilya keeps kissing him but his breath hitched a bit, making Shane nervous.
“Yeah? I don’t know how long the photoshoot will go.” Shane gulped quietly, and starts rubbing Ilya’s back, in a slow and deliberate motion. “Do you need me here, for any reason? Because if you’re feeling…not well, I’ll cancel.”
“No no, I’m good.” Ilya pushes off Shane and lays back on his side of the bed. Shane looks over unconvinced. He rolls to his side to be at Ilya’s side.
“Hey, if anything’s wrong, tell me.” Shane grabs for Ilya’s curls and twirls them. “Are you…sad?” Sad was code for depression. Depression was the big word Ilya didn’t want to use; because of his mother, because he hadn’t been formally diagnosed, because the time Shane said depression out loud, Ilya’s face went pale. So sad became the safe placeholder Ilya tolerated.
Ilya shook his head in a dismissive way, “No, am not sad. I’m fine.” Ilya smiled, but it was forced and Shane knew it. Shane wanted to cancel. It’s September, which means it’s coming up on a year around the time Ilya was at his lowest, something he hasn’t been at since. Shane’s been waiting slightly, for the other shoe to drop, for another inevitable low. He would be perfectly happy to never witness a depressed Ilya, but Shane doesn’t hope for the best, he’s learned how to prepare for the worst. Walking back into Montreal that day last January taught him that, finding that note taught him that.
“I’ll cancel.”
“No! Do not cancel! I was just messing with you!” Ilya rolls himself over on top of Shane again and kisses him, over and over. Shane can’t help but smile, but he’s on edge. Ilya pulls away and looks him in the eyes, “Just try and be home for dinner, okay?”
“I will.” Shane reached up and met his lips.
~
“That’s why you’re such a great brand ambassador, we think! For cutting-edge sportswear, you really hit all the potential markets!”
Shane nodded along and was pretty sure the guy was suggesting him being gay, Asian, and a top-level hockey athlete was great for pandering, but the man was trying to smother it in vague corporate speak. Shane needs fresh air. He excuses himself to leave out a porch door to a balcony at this country club lunch hall. He pulls out his phone to text.
Shane: I’m so bored, I want to leave.
Ilya: You bored? Wow.
Ilya: Then leave ;)
Shane: If only I could. I would
Ilya: The only thing stopping you is not loving me enough.
Shane: Beyond untrue. What’s stopping me is Mom actually.
Ilya: Yes, don’t let her down.
Shane: I won’t. I love you, I’ll be home as soon as I can
Ilya: I love you. I’m with Troy right now.
Shane: Oh god, have fun.
Ilya: We always do.
Shane felt slightly better. He was hanging out with someone today. He wasn’t just at home sulking alone. Shane was going to try and take the best photos as quick as he could. He just wanted to make it home for dinner. He had to make it home for dinner.
**
After Ilya and Troy toured the new car around Ottawa, they went for lunch. Ordering a large spread of various diner food; from pancakes to onion rings, to a BLT sandwich, a tuna melt, and chocolate milkshakes. Shane would be gagging.
“So…any reason you texted me at 9:30am this morning so that we come do this?” Troy asked biting into the BLT.
“Can I not hang out with bestie?” Ilya asked sipping on his chocolate milkshake, leaning back into the booth.
“Of course, you can. But where’s Shane today?”
“Brand photoshoot day.”
“Ahh okay, this checks out.”
“What?”
“You wanted to hang because you were bored without Shane.”
“No! I wanted to show off new car and today was perfect opportunity.”
“So why 9:30am and not when you knew you had today free?”
“He forgot about it until last night.” Ilya looks out the window and continued to sip his milkshake.
“Ah.” Troy put down his sandwich. “So tell me.”
“Tell you what?”
“What’s up? What’s wrong?”
Ilya twitches and grabs his nose. “Nothing is wrong?”
“I’m not dumb. You’re…. perturbed about something. It’s written all over you face.”
“Nothing is written on my face.”
“So you’re mad he has a brand deal?”
“No.”
“Mad he forgot about it, leaving you to a boring Saturday?”
“No.”
“Alright, well I’m getting mad you’re making me drag this out. Just fucking say it man.”
Ilya looks over at Troy and just stares at him. His eyes aren’t cold or warm, just neutral, busy even.
“It’s one of our last weekends before season, I just wanted more time, I guess.”
“That’s it? You live together now, you’re going to be on the same team. You get forever now. You’ll get all the time.”
Ilya twitches his mouth but he nods.
“You are right. I’m being selfish.”
“Umm, pretty sure I didn’t fucking say that?”
Ilya looks at Troy and gives a smirk.
“I know. Sorry.” Ilya folds his hands on the table and his thumb rubs against his index finger, then he picks up an onion ring and eats it whole, no sauce. Troy thinks he’s crazy sometimes, but Troy also sees he's on edge. When he finishes chewing, he says, “I just had a surprise plan for today and his brand shoot ruined it. No big deal. My fault for not mentioning it to him.” Ilya waves his hand as if to dismiss the conversation now.
“Just do it tomorrow...you know... Sunday?” Troy continues on.
Ilya stares at Troy again, this time the eyes were a bit pensive and maybe glassy.
“Tomorrow. Hmm” He picks up another onion ring. “Maybe.”
*
12:02PM
Troy: Gonna be outta line here...
Shane: What’s up, are you still with Ilya?
Shane: Is he okay?
Troy: Yeah, we got lunch.
Troy: now we’re heading to the movies?
Troy: Honestly, I don’t know. He seems off.
Shane: He seemed off this morning
Shane: I tried to cancel and he told me not to.
Shane: What’s he saying?
Troy: He made a surprise day date for you two
Troy: Brand thing ruined it, so now I think I'm on it.
Shane: Fuck, I knew it was something.
Shane: Did he say anything about it?
Troy: No, he made me drop it.
Troy: I have to go home to Harris after the movie.
Troy: he seems sad though, I don’t want to leave him alone.
Troy: When are you done?
Shane: Fuck, I’m just gonna cancel. I’ll let you know
Shane: I’ll tell them I’m sick.
Shane pretended he threw up in the bathroom. Told the Brand organizer the lunch gave him food poisoning, that he needs to go home and reschedule the photoshoot. They try to talk him into seeing if it’ll pass, but the face he made forced them to immediately drop that suggestion. He wasn’t fucking around. He grabbed his bag of stuff and keys and left. He’d be home from this in 50 minutes. Now he just needs to figure out Ilya.
The whole ride home Shane is thinking about the morning conversation. He replays it slowly. It’s obvious to Shane upon reviewing it that the surprise date was the picnic/movie idea. It’s very unlike Ilya to want to do a picnic date, to sit outside by a river, listen to the birds, he said. It’s not very Shane like either. The movies are also a bit out of their element. Shane tries to mull it over in his head why Ilya would plan a surprise date and why it mattered so much and why it threw him off to not go through with it.
*
“Since when do you like movies?” Troy asked as they pulled into the parking lot, “Also why are we at like…an arthouse?”
“What is arthouse?” Ilya asked, he gestured to the movie posters out in front of the place.
“Yeah, no I know, arthouses are theaters that play old films, or classics, or indie films.”
Ilya looked at the theater. “Yes I know, I like old films more. Helped me with English as a kid.”
“Oh. Got it.” Troy gives a thumbs up and exits the car with Ilya. As they stroll up to the theater, they have the list of films currently playing; all three of them…
Attack of the Killer Clowns
Some Like it Hot
Finding Nemo
Not a lot to work with and Troy has only seen Finding Nemo. Ilya moves to the ticket salesperson and grins,
“Uh hi, two for Some like it Hot.” He pays for the tickets and hands Troy his.
“I’ve never seen this.” Troy confesses, Ilya looks him up and down,
“Ah, I figured.”
“Is this some favorite of yours?”
“I planned to come here today anyway and see it.” He took a pause, “With Shane.” He smiled softly at Troy, “But you will do. Come on.”
Shane: I’ll be home in an hour.
Troy: Good, it’s some old film, starts in 10. you’ll beat us back.
Troy: Probably a good thing
Shane: Perfect, thanks
As Troy and Ilya take their seats in this nearly empty theater, Ilya with a handful of popcorn that Troy tries to take some from but Ilya keeps moving away from him every time.
“You said I could have some of yours! I would have gotten my own if you didn’t want to share.”
“No you said you didn’t want a full one and you’d have some of mine. I never agreed to this.”
Troy groaned.
“So, this is some classic film or something?” Troy decided they could talk over the onslaught of ads.
“Yes, is Marilyn Monroe! Classic! You are so uncultured.” Ilya keeps eating his popcorn by the mouthful.
“Sorry! Ya know, my parents didn’t bother showing me much of anything growing up.” Troy said this as an olive branch. Ilya and Troy have spoken to each other about their upbringings, their family dynamics; they bonded over having distant and judgmental fathers. Ilya got quiet, staring straight at the screen. The ads ended and the opening credits started. He leaned over without breaking eye contact with the screen and whispered,
“My mother and I would watch this all the time. One of the few American films Russians could watch when she was growing up.” Ilya put more popcorn in his mouth and kept staring straight ahead to the screen. Troy slowly looked over at him after hearing that, he could see Ilya’s eyes were glassy again, but they were also wide-eyed and youthful, like a kid getting candy. Troy gulped and he had to wonder. Is it her birthday today or … that day?
*
When Shane got home, he set his keys down and immediately changed into different clothes, date clothes. He made great timing, and Ilya would probably be home in an hour or so. He has not one clue yet why the date Ilya planned was important, but it was important enough that Ilya took Troy to the movies instead, to carry on with the date in some fashion, which means it was deliberately planned. Why didn’t he just say so? I would have cancelled. But this is the thing with Ilya. He wants to open up but on his own time, his own terms, and no matter how Shane approaches him, it’s never easy for Ilya to be forced to open up. He thought back to the conversation from this morning yet again. Any tiny morsel of clues other than the fact it’s coming up on a year from his lowest low. Maybe it’s seasonal…
He went to the fridge to grab a ginger ale, and he saw the meat marinating uncooked but already in a pan on skewers and the ingredients for the Olivier salad were there too. He said he’d make those Russian dishes for the picnic. Maybe it’s seasonal, fuck maybe it’s…
It’s some old film
Ilya very rarely spoke about his mother. If he did, it was small clues. She liked this, she made that. Shane knew all about ten facts about her and he remembered them all.
She sewed him clothes and hemmed his pants when they were too long as the hand-me-downs from Alexei. She loved running to the butcher to get the freshest cuts of tenderloins and meat for stews and dinner. She loved hockey. She would garden to get fresh chamomile for tea and keep buying bulbs of lilies whenever they were available, she liked purple ones. She could sing very well, Ilya said she would open the kitchen window when she washed dishes in the morning, she'd duet with the birds. Her and Ilya would watch old black and white films while she ironed clothes. She wore a cross necklace always; the very one Ilya wears has. She had a beautiful beaming smile; Shane is certain the very one Ilya has. She was so funny. She was so sad.
Now Shane doesn’t know for certain, is it her birthday, or the day she died but he knows for sure, today is about her; it can’t be anything else. Shane pulls the food out of the fridge and a recipe off the internet for Olivier salad, and starts making it.
*
Ilya and Troy are listening to the ending scene. Troy is laughing at the absurdity and humor of the scene, but Ilya is getting teary eyed.
“Well I’m not a natural blonde!”
“I don’t care.”
“Well I smoke like a chimney”
“Doesn’t bother me.”
“I can never have children.”
“We can adopt some.”
“Well…I’m a man!” and the character rips off his wig to show he’s not a woman.
The other man goes,
“Well, nobody’s perfect!”
It’s funny, it’s cutesy. It’s way progressive and before it’s time given the year it was made. Troy looks over to Ilya as the ‘The End’ title cards appear only to see he has tears in his eyes paired with a big grin. He’s a mess of emotions Troy can tell. He decides to give him a second, Troy just watches the end credits as they sit in silence. Ilya gets up quickly,
“I need to use bathroom, then I’ll drop you off for Harris. See you out there.” Ilya turns and leaves Troy still sitting in his seat. As Ilya walks out, Troy pulls out his phone to see a message from Shane,
2:11PM
Shane: It’s his mom. Something with his mom today.
2:42PM
Troy: I was just going to text you that.
Shane: Did he say something?
Troy: We watched Some Like It Hot.
Troy: He and his mom used to.
Shane: Is it over?
Troy: Yes, we’re leaving now. He’ll be back probably in 20 minutes.
Shane: I’m home by 3pm. See you soon.
Ilya: What? That’s not possible?
Shane: I got done early.
Shane: I’m that good.
Ilya: I’ll be home soon. Went to movies with Troy, leaving now.
Shane: Ya lyublyu tebya
…
…
Ilya: Ya lyublyu tebya
Ilya: I really wasn’t expecting this.
**
When Ilya dropped off Troy, Troy slapped him on the shoulder,
“Thanks for lunch and the movies. I loved it.” Troy smiled with sincerity. “Seriously.”
“Goodbye bestie.” Ilya huffed out. “Thank you for joining me today last minute.”
Troy sat for a moment in the car, hand on the handle about to push out, but he stalled,
“I don’t know what today is and you don’t have to tell me. But Shane can’t read minds, neither can I. We’re both really good at guessing, but…” Troy took a pause, “You owe it to… yourself to express the hard shit. It’s not a burden. Didn’t I say before that being overly strong is the problem.”
Ilya didn’t look over, he stared at the wheel, but he nodded along. “Yes.”
“And I think you called me smart then.”
“Misspoke.”
“Ah, well. You do that a lot.”
Ilya then met eyes with Troy who flashed a grin. Troy opened the handle and got out then leaned into the window of the car.
“I know I am not always up front.” Ilya manages while looking at Troy through the window, then just nods as if to convey I’m working on it.
Troy sports a closed mouth smile and says,
“Well nobody’s perfect!” and he walks away. Leaving Ilya to huff out a laugh in his car, watching Troy go into Harris’s apartment building, tears come out of his eyes but he’s laughing too.
*
Shane needed to make sure he texted Ilya about being home early because god knows Ilya would drop off Troy then wander the streets til dark by himself; especially if he felt nothing was waiting for him at home. Little did he know, Shane had been home; made the Olivier Salad, had the skewers on the grill, and packed an entire picnic basket. One that Shane remembered was stuffed in the closet. A beautiful wicker basket that Harris gave Ilya a whole year ago when he won some Centaur raffle last season. Ilya said he put all his tickets in it for the wine. It was good wine.
Shane cut up cheeses and even the smoked meats he found in the fridge too then grabbed a small beverage cooler and put Ilya’s favorite drinks along with his favorite drinks. They were going to go sit by the river, and enjoy this picnic, and listen to the birds sing. And Shane is going to hope that Ilya will forgive him for not knowing that today is apparently, one of the hardest days of the year for him. Shane figures he’s going to add more to his list of Irina facts. One being whatever September 20th is.
**
When Ilya pulls in, he sees Shane’s car is already here. He figures he must of just beat him back. Ilya feels lighter, having done lunch and a movie with Troy clearly had helped. It was a good day, even better now that Shane was home early, as promised. He walks through the door and immediately sees Shane in the kitchen, washing his hands. He’s wearing a nice button up and smiles wide at Ilya when he sees him approach. Ilya looks and sees the picnic basket on the kitchen island, packed, with a small cooler bag next to it. Shane closes in on the steps between them and extends out for an embrace.
“I’ve got the picnic all ready.” Shane says as he throws his arms around Ilya. “I made the Oliver salad and Shashlik is cooked. There are smoked meats I cut up and cheese cubes…”
Ilya squeezes Shane incredibly tight in this hug and Shane can tell immediately that Ilya is crying. The heaves and nose sniffles are loud as he holds steadfast onto Shane as his anchor to stay upright. Shane begins to rub his back slow and deliberate like this morning. “I love you. I’m sorry I didn’t know what today is. I’m here.” Ilya continues to sniffle but he’s trying to regain his composure. Still firm in the hug, he says,
“Is my fault, I didn’t say.”
“It’s okay, I imagine it’s hard.”
Ilya takes a few big breaths into Shane, calming himself down inside this hug. Shane keeps holding on and rubbing softly his back, “Is it her…” Shane doesn’t want to assume either way, even though he’s sure there’s just two options. Ilya takes a few more breaths, knowing it’s his turn to fill in the blanks.
“It’s her birthday.” Ilya says it and starts crying again, and with intense sobs, he says “It’s my mom’s birthday.” This makes Shane well in his eyes. It should have been a day celebrating her, and it still can be. Troy went to the movies with him, Shane is doing the picnic now. He squeezes Ilya tight.
Shane lets out, “Happy Birthday Irina." and that makes Ilya cry a bit more. "I can make that vanilla box cake, I brought the mix back with us from the cottage.”
This makes Ilya laugh and he pulls away and wipes his tears. Shane helps wipe them too. “Bad idea? Do Russians not do birthday cake?” Shane huffs as Ilya is all smiles with a blotchy face.
“No, we do. Is just a very difficult cake. Is not box cake.” He laughs again. “But yes, we should make the cake. She was not picky.”
Once Ilya composes himself and shakes off the relief of letting Shane in, he focuses on the picnic.
“So you made everything?” Ilya says, he peaks into the basket.
“Yes! I hope I made the salad right. I followed an online recipe.”
“Is probably correct, not hard to make.”
“Not like the birthday cake?”
“Honey cake is 16 layer cake.”
“Oh holy shit you weren’t kidding.”
“Nyet” Ilya laughs. “Okay, so picnic?”
“Yes, let’s go eat and listen to the birds sing. Maybe we can sing back and duet.”
Ilya nods because he knows he told Shane that about his mom. His eyes well up again but with an immense appreciation for Shane. Letting the people you love in is a very good thing; Troy was indeed smart sometimes. Ilya sniffles and clears his throat.
“Ahh, I don’t think you can sing very well.” Ilya jokes as he begins to follow Shane, who has picked up the picnic basket and begun leading them out.
Shane rolls his eyes and smiles,
“Give me a break Ilya, nobody’s perfect.”