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As is true of most of the best things in life, it was completely and totally Jackie’s idea.
“Come on, are you serious? You’ve never played ‘Never Have I Ever’?” Jackie asks, clearly shocked by the implications. But Shane just takes another light swig of his beer. It’s the off-season, and they’re not in charge of any children tonight, so he decided to let loose while the four of them sit on the beach watching the bonfire.
“I mean, when I was a kid, sure. But I hadn’t done much that wasn’t hockey, so it was never that fun, you know?” Shane explains. It doesn’t affect him much – or at all – but he regrets saying anything to begin with when Jackie’s eyes widen.
Jackie looks between their husbands, who have been strategically sat apart. They’re not terrible, not anymore, but Jackie and Shane are smart enough to not risk it during the better moments.
Hayden, following Jackie’s lead, turns to Shane eagerly. “Come on, man! You always left right when we would start at a bar, and that’s if you decided to come out with us at all.”
Shane sighs. He never wanted to play with his team – with anyone – because he was so stressed that he’d give himself away. Something about the way he talked about women would be a red flag or he’d admit to something that seemed too “gay”... it was a lose-lose situation in the making, so he avoided it altogether.
Shane risked a glance at Ilya, and it immediately became clear that it was game-over. If he really didn’t want to, he’d have an out. But his husband’s stupidly unfair puppy dog eyes had always been too much for him to resist. “...Fine.”
Around him, his friends cheer into the night sky, giggling as they do, and Shane’s heart flip-flops between allowing a genuine smile and swallowing the thrum of anxiety that’s materialized in his bloodstream. He’s almost certainly about to embarrass himself; he can barely talk about sex with his husband, let alone his best friends. Even though he’s out, his body still reacts to the feeling of exposure in the way a deer reacts to the scent of a nearby wolf.
But Ilya’s here. Hayden’s here. Jackie’s here. And he trusts the three people around him more than anyone else on earth. The thought of sharing these precious pieces of his life – pieces that were once locked carefully behind his teeth – terrifies him. But maybe it’ll be worthwhile to find something bigger than his fear.
Once everyone cracks open a new drink, Jackie claps her hands, looking at Shane expectantly. “As the newbie, you wanna do the honors?”
Shane has no idea whether or not to feel honored, but the eyes on him aren’t going away. “Uh. Never have I ever… missed a flight?”
Everyone rolls their eyes, dutifully taking their first drinks while Shane’s eyes widen in surprise. “You all have missed a flight?”
Ilya dramatically fakes a snore. “Boring, Hollander! Of course we miss flights. I am rich and famous, and Pikes have fifty children.” Hayden chimes in correcting him, but Ilya barrels on, subtly winding his fingers through Shane’s as he teases. “How have you never missed a flight?”
“Oh, uh, I don’t know. I always show up within the window they recommend.”
Jackie laughs lightly, gesturing for Hayden to go next. His question is a little spicier: “Never have I ever smoked weed.”
Jackie and Ilya just roll their eyes and drink while Hayden and Shane look on. “Potheads,” Hayden accuses jokingly.
“Hon, as soon as you retire, I am getting the kids a babysitter and getting you stoned.” Jackie says emphatically.
Ilya laughs alongside her, thinking hard. “Never have I ever been fucked with toy that vibrates.” Shane shoots a half-hearted glare at Ilya; his husband knows he’s been fucked with a vibrating toy because his husband was the one doing the fucking. It helps that Jackie raises his bottle to him in a cheers before she takes a drink of her own.
“Fair enough, Ilya. Alright… Never have I ever had a sex marathon lasting at least two full days.” Shane easily takes another drink, mirroring Ilya, but finds that Hayden and Jackie are looking at them with their eyebrows raised.
“I don’t even know how you do that,” Hayden confesses, sounding equally baffled and… impressed? Shane doesn’t linger on it too long, latching onto the details he’s more comfortable with.
“I mean, we took naps, and the bathroom was right there, but you have to plan ahead. Protein bars, bottles of water, stuff like that.” Jackie almost looks like she wants to take notes, and Shane catches Ilya smirking next to him.
Quickly, Shane shakes off the self-consciousness with a deep, grounding breath. Taking his turn is almost certainly the fastest way for everyone to move on, and he’s determined to match the intensity of his husband “Never have I ever slept with more than one person in the same day, separate instances.”
This time, when everyone else drinks, he doesn’t feel so scrutinized. Instead, there’s enough playful jeering to go around as they reveal the circumstances: hockey celebration, summer in Moscow, and the craziest frat party of Jackie’s life.
Hayden looks on with interest before startling when he realizes it’s his turn again. “Never have I ever driven over an hour for sex.”
Ilya rolls his eyes and drinks, but Shane balks. “We were long distance! We didn’t make the drive just for sex.”
He does his best to sound firm, but Hayden and Jackie are clearly having none of it. Shane looks to Ilya – the love of his life, the sun to his moon, the man he’ll grow old with – for back-up. Ilya – traitor, instigator, the man who will be sleeping on the couch – simply taps his bottle with their joined hands. “Drink up, моя любовь.”
Everyone laughs and cheers – somehow, Shane included as he begrudgingly tilts his bottle to his lips – before Ilya commands the group’s attention. “Never have I ever played strip poker.”
Only Hayden drinks, surprised eyes on Ilya. Shane doesn’t blame him, his eyebrows climbing.
“Really?” Hayden asks once he swallows his beer.
Ilya shrugs, unashamed. “Have you ever played normal poker with Shane? I could wear winter coat and still end up naked while he keeps all of his clothes on.”
Shane preens at the assessment; he’s not known for being a poker shark, but the few who are aware of his skills have stopped extending invitations. Unless they’re trying to fleece somebody.
Hayden and Jackie nod sagely as Shane files the topic away for later. He’d assumed Ilya had played games like this with Sveta, but if not… Shane was always looking for firsts to give his husband.
Jackie grins deviously, and when she speaks, a playful air of self-deprication in her tone – though Shane isn’t fooled; Jackie’s clearly winding up for something. “Never have I ever won a Stanley Cup.”
The hockey players around her groan good-naturedly, obediently sipping their drinks. Shane’s beer is starting to run low, and he belatedly realizes he may have been drinking too much on each “sip”. After a moment of consideration, he grabs another bottle; it’s the off-season. He can drink if he wants.
As he resettles, he can’t help but claim retribution. “Never have I ever been pregnant.”
Jackie giggles, pointedly taking a sip of her drink. Next to him, Ilya dramatically flops closer to Shane, grasping his chin playfully in his free hand and letting a whine leak into his voice. “But моя любовь, I have been trying so very hard.”
Hayden chokes on air while Jackie’s giggling grows louder, ringing out over the waves. Ilya winks at Shane as he rejoins their hands. Shane, for his part, flushes a deep red.
“Fuck off,” he says without much heat, rolling his eyes.
Hayden composes himself fairly quickly, taking his turn with a gleam in his eyes. “Never have I ever been walked in on by my parents – or in-laws,” he quickly amends, though Ilya quickly waves him off.
Shane, however, requires some clarity. “Define ‘walked in on’.”
Hayden bobbles his head before declaring, “Ass or tits out at minimum.”
Shane hums, making a small show of dropping his drink into the seat’s cupholder, before Jackie’s drinking catches his eye.
“Asshole,” she gripes as she fishes out her next bottle. Hayden can only smile in response, clearly thrilled to have caught Jackie as she looks to Shane and Ilya. “I was like, 17 and my parents came home to find me getting eaten out by my high school boyfriend.”
Ilya’s smile grows exponentially, and Shane can see a chirp coming from a mile away. “Ah, so Canadians do not have locks on their doors? Is new invention here, yes?”
Quickly, Jackie pops the cap off of her next bottle. “We weren’t exactly thinking too hard about that,” she says, as though it’s anywhere near a good defense. Shane’s sure that it’s only Ilya’s genuine respect for Jackie – and his genuine desire to continue embarrassing his husband – that pushes him to move on.
He’s immediately proven correct when Ilya sits up, his grin turns shark-like. “Never have I ever bought collar for bedroom.” Ilya looks at Shane, winking as he takes a swig. Shane quickly matches, too thrown off by the sudden change in rules to process the statement itself.
“Asshole, you aren’t supposed to say something you’ve done! That’s against the rules!”
“I drank!” Ilya insists right back, turning to Jackie and Hayden for an official ruling.
Shane joins him, but he’s suddenly reminded of the situation that caused the debate when he notices Jackie and Hayden’s twin looks of shock. Shane’s face flushes as the Pikes try to regain composure.
Hayden gets there first. “A collar?!”
Shane hides his face behind his hands in embarrassment as Jackie pulls herself back to the group. “Yeah, as long as you drink, you can do that.”
“A collar?!” Hayden asks again, delight mixing with the shock.
Shane just nods, finally breaking the spell around Hayden as laughter bubbles up out of him. “Holy shit, dude!”
“It’s not my fucking fault!” Shane exclaims, aware that he sounds petulant – and even more aware that he doesn’t need to defend himself at all. Still, he can feel the heat creeping up his neck.
Ilya laughs beside him, eyes teasing and warm and safe. “Ah, so I forced you to buy more? I added sparkles and padding and –”
“Shut. Up,” Shane insists, turning quickly to cover Ilya’s mouth while keeping their hands clasped together. Jackie and Hayden gasp once again, cracking up immediately after while Shane’s heart pounds. It’s not that out there to use collars, according to his research, and he thinks they understand that Ilya was kidding about the sparkles. The padding was just smart. So he's definitely good here.
It's just… Ilya is always so good at pulling him from his comfort zone, giving him a safe place to land as he stretches the bounds of how far he’ll go. And it certainly helps that this is all happening in the context of a competition, with alcohol, among friends. But it’s not easy to ignore the growing pressure behind his sternum.
Once the laughter dies down, Jackie asks to mix things up. “Can I just ask a question?”
Shane turns to Ilya; he has no idea how this game is supposed to work, but he doubts that this is in the rules. Isn’t the point that they phrase it as a weird statement? And how does that work with the drinking component?
Ilya clearly thinks about it, looking to Shane for any clue he wouldn’t be okay with this. When Shane only shrugs (giving a tentative nod in acquiescence), he turns back to Jackie.
“Yes, but both of you must drink if you get an answer.”
Jackie nods, quickly accepting the deal on Hayden’s behalf. Shane nods, too, grateful that his husband found a way to keep the structure mostly intact. He chances a glance at Hayden, expecting him to have some issues, but he’s clearly as invested after nearly three beers. “Deal. Okay, I’ve been dying to know: What’s the craziest sex you’ve had?”
Shane splutters at the question. He shouldn’t be surprised; Jackie’s always had a lot less shame than Hayden, and it’s not like the man’s a virgin with four kids. But still, he wasn’t expecting anything that direct.
Quickly, Shane recovers, truthfully sharing, “I don’t think we have ‘crazy’ sex or anything. I mean,” he hedges, glancing at Ilya, “it’s pretty normal, right?”
Ilya smiles at Shane, nodding kindly, and for a moment Shane lets himself be reassured. Until he turns back to Jackie.
“Do you remember earlier this season, when I got in the fight with Kent?” Jackie nods, and Shane sees Hayden lean forward out of the corner of his eye. Unfortunately, there’s not enough time for Shane to process what’s about to happen before he hears, “Didn’t even get to wipe the blood off my teeth before I was being dragged to old, abandoned part of Toronto’s stadium.”
Shane’s eyes squeeze shut. In all actuality, he doesn’t consider that to be “crazy”; “crazy” would be doing something they have no interest in just to say they had, as far as Shane’s concerned. And he was very interested in getting on his knees for his bloody husband – nose still bleeding, teeth still stained red, and so unbelievably sexy.
But he’s also aware that hockey injuries play far less of a role in the average couple’s sex life, so he’s willing to let the label slide.
Shane opens his eyes, turning his head just enough to watch Hayden process what he’s heard. He’s tried over the years to hide details like this from his best friend, for a lot of reasons. Part of it’s always been the fact that they were teammates for over a decade; what if Hayden thought Shane was getting off on his own bloody smiles? What if he suddenly couldn’t look at him the same way?
He also knows, for better or for worse, that a lot of his fear still revolves around the gay of it all. Conceptually having sex with men? Hayden supported him immediately. Tangibly dating Ilya Rozanov? It took longer, but now they’re sharing a beach together. They haven’t even hit each other once this entire trip!
But Shane has always avoided details, out or not. He’s not under the impression that Hayden thinks he’s a blushing virgin – anymore – but he just can’t imagine that Hayden wants to know any of this to begin with. It feels like a bridge too far, like this is all too much to ask for; Shane isn’t so greedy to expect that he can be this honest without something giving. Even if Jackie is enjoying herself, he doesn’t want this to be the line that his best friend can’t cross.
“Dude,” Hayden starts, sitting back heavily in his seat. Shane grips the neck of his beer bottle firmly, anxiety thrumming through him. “How the hell did you not know you were gay until 2017? You’ve seen guys getting their faces bashed in since you were, like, seven at the latest!”
Relief and joy (and some healthy embarrassment) crashes into Shane like a wave as he laughs, full and real. As soon as Hayden says it, Shane knows it was ridiculous to be so worried. He’s never really needed to worry with Hayden. He’s had Shane’s back for years, no matter how hard the circumstances. Here, with Shane being the most himself he’s ever been around the man, could never be any different.
Shane shrugs his shoulders – taking note of how quickly and completely the tightness in his chest disappeared – with mild chagrin. “Shut up! He looked fucking hot!”
Hayden shakes his head, clearly amused. “The two of you were made for each other, I swear. He gets in fights and you fuck him about it – what else did I expect?”
It’s not lost on Shane that this is the most explicit support Hayden has ever given Shane and Ilya’s relationship. It’s honestly some of the most explicit support he’s received about his relationship from anyone, and the fact that it’s from Hayden only adds to the stress unwinding itself from where it’s lived in his body this whole evening. He quickly lifts the lip of his bottle to his mouth, drinking to cover up the grin threatening to split across his face and swallow his happily overwhelmed feelings.
When he’s done, Jackie nods at him encouragingly. “Oh, right, um… do I have to ask a question now? Or are we still playing the game?”
Ilya squeezes his hand, pulling Shane’s focus and settling his heart rate. “You can do either, though we will have to drink if you ask a question.”
Shane nods at the parameters provided. “Okay, uh…” He pauses, wracking his brain for something vaguely interesting. After a moment, a lightbulb turns on in his mind and he sits up straighter. “Never have I ever actively used another person to make my partner jealous.”
He turns to face Ilya, fully aware of the smug grin on his face. Ilya only looks back, eyebrows raised. Shane has no idea if Hayden or Jackie have taken a drink, deadlocked in this battle with his husband.
“Well?” Ilya asks, breaking the silence. Shane’s mouth drops open slightly at the insinuation.
“I didn’t do shit to try to make you jealous, asshole,” he responds, waiting for Ilya’s concession.
Fortunately, he knows his husband well enough to know it’ll take a little more poking for him to take a drink.
“Rose. Landry,” Ilya says, jokingly emphasizing her name to poke back at Shane. Shane just rolls his eyes, very familiar with this game.
“You know that’s not why I dated her. Besides, I basically ran to the bathroom once I realized you were there. Unlike a certain someone who nearly ate a woman’s ear while staring at me.”
Ilya huffs a put-upon sigh, and it’s only then that Shane knows he’s won. Instead of continuing to needle the point, he leans over to plant a quick kiss to Ilya’s lips. “Drink up, babe.”
Ilya makes a show of finishing his beer, grabbing another to follow it. They’ve talked about Rose plenty, so Shane knows he isn’t still jealous, but he moves his chair closer to Ilya’s anyways, hooking his ankle around Ilya’s. He always wants to be as close to Ilya as humanly possible, and he hopes that it conveys his love as best as he can. Based on the answering kiss to Shane’s cheek, he knows the message was received.
Quickly, it becomes Hayden’s turn. “Never have I ever used a cock ring.” This time, only Shane and Ilya drink, and they can tell the question isn’t entirely theoretical. “Okay – is it, like, good? Because it seems like it would be intense,” Hayden follows up.
“Is that question, Pike?” Ilya asks, faux innocence dripping from his tongue.
“Fuck off, Rozanov, I’m not burning a question on that.”
Shane rolls his eyes, squeezing Ilya’s hand before turning to Hayden. Despite the heat in his cheeks, he’s not actually that embarrassed. Tipsy (quickly heading towards drunk)? Absolutely. But the kind of mortification he’d expected to leave the evening with is now fully removed from his mind. “It’s definitely a lot, but… yeah, it’s fucking good,” he replies, knowing he sounds a little breathy as he fights against the recall. He clears his throat to bring his attention back. “But definitely have a bolt cutter on hand. And start with something stretchy like silicon.”
With each word, Hayden’s eyebrows rise, but he miraculously doesn’t call attention to Shane’s familiarity. Instead, he looks like he’s making a mental note, glancing at Jackie with some barely concealed heat.
“Yeah, got it.”
Ilya laughs, turning to Jackie. “Same question to you, Better Pike: craziest sex.”
Jackie turns to Hayden, a silent conversation passing as Shane and Ilya look on. After a beat, Jackie turns back. “We took a road trip right after the first season we started dating.” Hayden nods emphatically, and Shane and Ilya take their required drinks.
After a beat of silence, Ilya pushes back. “And? He gives good road head?”
For the first time all evening, Jackie blushes across the fire. “We laid the driver’s seat back for a couple of miles,” she says, far more tentative than her usual brash approach to sex. It’s baffling until Hayden clarifies.
“We, uh, shared a seat. And I worked the pedals.”
Shane’s eyes nearly bug out of his head, and Ilya throws his head back laughing. “She rode you while driving?”
“Hey, don’t knock it ‘til you try it!” Jackie exclaims, clearly enjoying their shocked expressions enough to pull herself back from the brink of embarrassment. At her words, Ilya’s head whips toward Shane’s.
“Nope,” he says before his husband can even try to ask. “Definitely not.”
He can feel Ilya pouting next to him, but he knows better than to believe it’ll be dropped; if there’s a way to do this safely, Ilya will find it and present it to Shane in a way that somehow answers his every question and addresses his every concern. And then Shane will learn that he’s already set it up.
And Shane will go and get fucked within an inch of his life while driving a moving vehicle.
It’s just science.
When he manages to keep his cool, refusing to make eye contact with Ilya, his husband gives up and swings his attention over to Jackie.
After a moment of thought, she finally lands on something. “Never have I ever been choked.” In unison, the four of them take a drink. Shane’s expecting some more gentle ribbing – and, surprisingly, he’s almost looking forward to the teasing that’s sure to come. At this point, Shane knows that choking is nothing Hayden can’t handle hearing about. At least for tonight, he's loose and happy and comfortable talking about sex in a way he’s never been before. He can handle some well-deserved teasing.
Instead of getting it, he’s shocked to see Hayden and Jackie’s eyes grow wide as they stare at each other.
Hayden breaks first. “You have? When?”
Next to him, Ilya eagerly looks on, a brilliant smile on his face. To his surprise, Shane is matching it effortlessly. He’s never asked Hayden about anything to do with sex before, but if it’s this fun, maybe this feeling can last for more than just one night.
“My college boyfriend Jason was into it,” she says, shocked and slightly defensive. “When the hell did you get choked?”
Hayden flushes, attempting to hide his embarrassment behind his beer bottle. “Uh, maybe three months before we met? I picked a girl up at a bar, and she turned out to be a little freaky,” he shares, throwing a joking wink at Shane on the last word.
Shane, however, is stuck on the timing. Hayden’s words swirl in his head until an image appears, nearly a decade old. “Holy shit, Hayd!”
The eyes around the bonfire swivel to Shane with vastly different expressions. Ilya’s with interested delight. Jackie’s with eager anticipation. Hayden’s with confusion that immediately melts into abject horror.
“Shane–” Hayden tries to interrupt, but after finishing his second beer, it’s all too easy to plow ahead.
“The Buffalo game during rookie season! You said you fell on your fucking stick, and JJ asked if you did it four fucking times.”
Hayden groans while Jackie’s head snaps back to her husband, an open-mouthed grin taking over her whole face. “Hayden Pike, you’ve been holding out on me!”
Hayden’s shoulders shake in silent laughter while he stares at the sky, clearly trying to rein in his blush. Finally, he looks back at his wife, equal parts embarrassed and in love – the same expression they’ve all been wearing as more bottles open. “I’ll think of a way to make it up to you.”
Jackie grins, pulling her chair closer to her husband by a few extra inches. Beside him, Shane feels Ilya do the same. The movement draws his eye as he takes a sip of his third beer, looking to him expectantly for Ilya’s turn.
Ilya eyes Shane with a smirk on his face, and he instantly knows that he’s absolutely about to regret agreeing to this game.
“Never have I ever had sex while on phone,” Ilya says, looking straight at Shane without taking a drink. Slowly, Shane pulls his beer to his lips.
In the background, Jackie cackles while Hayden shakes his head, beginning to lift his drink as well. “Man, it’s phone sex, not sex on the phone! And if you’re gonna say shit like that, you gotta drink.”
But Ilya turns, shaking his head at Hayden while Shane makes mortified eye contact with Jackie. “No, I said what I meant, Pike. I haven’t had sex while on phone call.”
Hayden’s confusion lingers for just a second before his eyes flick to Shane. A horrified understanding dawns on his face as his beer lowers, and Shane watches his cheeks darken. “Wait a fucking second… didn’t you two get together after Shane’s concussion?”
Ilya cackles into the night as Shane prays for a lightning bolt to strike him dead. Unfortunately, a clear sky full of beautiful stars looks back, mocking him. Wordlessly, he nods, and Hayden jumps out of his chair.
“Oh my God! You were having sex on that call? Are you serious?”
Shane musters up as much of a defense as he can. “I mean, it was a blowjob, so…”
“That is not better. Holy shit, Hollzy,” Hayden says, flopping back into his chair. “That’s insane!”
“Ilya started it!” he pushes back, but he knows it’s a losing fight because, as always –
“Did I tape phone to your face so you cannot hang up?” Ilya goads. It’s well-trod ground, and it’s definitely a fair point. Shane had once gone two years without hooking up with Ilya, so he knows he has the willpower to do anything other than sit on the edge of the couch, right in his line of sight. Or, yeah, tell Hayden that he’d call him back in five minutes.
Hayden still looks horrified, but Jackie takes pity on Shane. “You can’t tell me you haven’t done worse,” she chides, smiling.
Hayden whips around to her, but the gleam in her eyes reveals that it’s far too late to stop whatever she’s about to say. “Jackie, no, please don’t do this –”
“Never have I ever gotten a blowjob while my best friend was asleep in the next hotel bed over,” Jackie says, giggling as Hayden looks up at the sky in mortification. Ilya laughs in shock as he takes a swig of his drink, pulling himself back down to face the group.
“I hadn’t seen you in ages,” Hayden whines to Jackie, who hasn’t stopped laughing since she said anything. Beside her, Ilya laughs along.
“Hard to have more kids that way, Pike, but at least you’re saving world from overpopulation.”
Hayden flips Ilya off before turning to Shane. “I did not want you to find out about that, man.”
Tomorrow, he’ll undoubtedly blame the alcohol for what he’s about to say. But tonight, Shane simply looks at the fire before shrugging, saying, “Never have I ever been woken up by my best friend getting a blowjob and had to wait until it was over to go back to sleep.”
Quickly, as though he hasn’t already let the cat out of the bag by saying it out loud, he slams the rest of his third beer.
Around him, the group erupts.
He watches from the corner of his eye as Hayden groans, burying his face in his hand and leaning back in his seat. Next to him, Jackie’s eyes widen in mirth, the hand covering her mouth unable to contain the cackles that echo around the empty beach.
All while Ilya laughs with his full chest, looking at Shane with a level of joy and bewilderment he rarely gets to see directed at him.
“Why the hell didn’t you leave?” Hayden asks, laughing, once he finally manages to emerge from behind his hands.
“I thought that would be worse!” Shane defends, a smile pulling at his lips. He was faced with no good options, and he figured Hayden would never find out. But, since they’re sharing…
“He’s got you there, Hayd,” Jackie admonishes with a smile still on her face. “Would you really have wanted him to get up and go to the bathroom or something?”
Hayden’s petulant, “No,” sets them off on another round of giggles, and something loosens in Shane’s chest.
Without much thought, Shane grabs his fourth beer of the evening and cracks it open. “Hayden, your turn.”
As Shane drains the last of his bottle, he looks at the quieting group around him. At some point, Hayden and Jackie’s chairs slid closer and closer before Jackie gave up and moved to sit between Hayden’s legs, her head on his chest. Ilya’s fingers have stayed threaded in his the whole time, a stabilizing presence as he admitted more than he thought he would ever say to anyone apart from his adoring husband.
He and Jackie are the only two that haven’t been pegged by a woman. Ilya gave Sasha an ill-advised stick-and-poke tattoo before he left for the draft, which Shane absolutely had to ask about later. And Hayden had to be seriously talked out of a dick piercing – and from the look in his eyes, it seems he wasn’t fully convinced.
Shane answered several questions directed toward himself and Ilya – talking about his least favorite flavor of lube, admitting to his kink spreadsheet, and even revealing how little time had truly passed between that first tender kiss and Shane falling to his knees after the CCM shoot all those years ago in Toronto.
With every answer, he felt all of his lingering unease drift away. At the beginning of this game, he thought he’d be embarrassed forever – and he feared that he would be seen as too much of an outsider for his friends to handle. Now, he just feels warm as he soaks up the joy and friendship – and belonging – swirling around him.
With a quick squeeze, Shane brings Ilya’s eyes back to his own. “Take me home?” Shane asks, soft and gooey in a way he rarely allows himself to be in front of others. Across from him, Jackie and Hayden look on with pride and contentment in equal measure.
Ilya, however, only has his eyes on Shane. “Yes, моя любовь. I’ll take you home.”
As Shane stands, Jackie and Hayden rise to say goodbye. Shane refuses to think about why they’re not making the trek back with them. Instead, he gives each of them a hug goodbye, allowing himself to linger for another moment.
For years, Shane thought that if he told the truth, he’d end up in a worse position than he could imagine. Without hockey, Shane didn’t know who he would be; risking that felt insane.
But now, hugging his best friend – who hugs back just as tightly, even after all of the questions and reveals and mortifying secrets spilled tonight – he wishes he’d had more time like this. The honesty, the closeness, the camaraderie; he thought he didn’t need any of it, and he wishes he could go back and tell the truth sooner.
Rather than absorb that melancholic feeling, he grips Ilya’s hand in his and lands on a different one: peace. He didn’t shy away from them, and none of them turned from him, either. He got to joke around with his friends and hold Ilya’s hand, and in a few months, they’ll all be back on the ice. Somehow, some way, he gets to have it all. His wildest dreams get to come true, and it’s just a random fucking Tuesday night in Mexico.
Halfway up the beach, he stops, tugging Ilya in for a kiss. At the questioning look in his eyes when he pulls back, Shane sighs happily. “I just really love you.”
Ilya’s eyes soften, and he leans back in to capture Shane’s mouth in a kiss once more. It’s soft and tender and everything he was once terrified to admit to wanting.
“I love you too, мой костер. Let’s go home.”