Chapter Text
It was time for her annual checkup.
Christmas was just around the corner. Vicky shrugged her coat off as she stepped in the hospital. It wasn’t snowing yet, but just in case.
“You might want to take a look at this.” Dr. Jenner handed Vicky the results.
She took it over, scanning title after title - CBC, RBC… She didn’t understand any of it, but all the numbers were green, so it should mean—
Wait.
At the bottom sat the only red text on the entire sheet - Hanahaki: Positive.
She looked at Dr. Jenner, hoping for some kind of an explanation.
“I’m sorry. Maybe you’d want to run the test again…?”
Vicky looked at the sheet again, folded it carefully, then slid it into her bag. “I’ll see myself out. Thank you for the appointment.”
She wrapped her coat tighter around herself. Cold wind gushed immediately when the main door of the hospital slid open. Vicky stepped onto the pavement, her boots making cracking sounds softly beneath.
It was snowing a little outside, not so much that the people had to tred through the piles, but just enough to make them realise that it was different from 20 minutes ago.
—
Vicky’s first “I love you” was after 20 years old.
Gianni smiled at her. “I’m so glad we’re soulmates.” He took her in his arms and slid his fingers softly in her hair, pressing a kiss on her forehead.
“Me, too.” Vicky whispered.
“I’ve dreamt of a girl since I was seven. I’m happy that it’s you.”
Vicky quirked her lips into a small grin. “That’s so creepy and romantic at the same time.”
Gianni frowned, lifting his head just to look at her. “No, I mean…soulmate dreams.”
“What do you mean?”
“No one told you about soulmates? Didn’t you have dreams when you were little?”
Vicky sat up. What? Dreams…
Memories rushed back suddenly - The playground. The rusty swings. The…girl.
…“Are you lonely too?” “Me, too.”
“Things will get better.”
“I…I thought you were only a dream.”…
How could she forget? “Oh, those.” said Vicky weakly.
“Are you alright?” Gianni placed a hand on her shoulder.
She remembered the feeling of holding hands with the girl in her dream, and the warmth that crept into her palm - being safe, and happy. Like she finally found someone that she could share everything together. Gianni’s touch grew cold. She eased closer, trying to remember how it felt to be right by his side.
“Vicky? Are you ok?”
She hummed in agreement and snuggled closer. “Just sleepy. Sorry.”
“You did dream of me, right?” It was after half an hour before Gianni spoke.
Neither of them answered.
Vicky dreamed.
—
There was a tap on her shoulder.
7-year-old Vicky turned around quickly, and nearly stumbled as a girl scooted close to her. She was on all fours and growled softly like a tiger. “Who are you?”
“I’m Silvia.” She sat on the swing next to Vicky.
Where were they? Vicky looked around. It was the kindergarten playground. She gripped the chains a bit tighter. No one really talked to her at school. “I…I’m Vicky.”
“Are you lonely, too?” Silvia asked.
“…I guess.” Vicky blinked, not expecting the question. “Are you, too?”
“Nobody talk to me.” Silvia kicked the sand beneath the swing.
Vicky nodded. Gazing at the girl she’d never met before, she blurted out, “This is a dream, isn’t it? I’ll never see you again.”
Silvia stopped the swing and turned to look at her. “We will.” Vicky heard no more before she was whisked back into the real world.
Wake up, wake up.
I don’t want to, Vicky buried her face in the pillow, there’s someone…waiting… Wait. She rolled over and blinked, adjusting to the sunlight peaking through the curtains of her bedroom.
It was a dream. Vicky couldn’t hide her disappointment, but got dressed anyway. It was 7:30 am. Better not be late. That was her last thought before the dream faded into the deep side in her mind.
—
Then it was 2007.
“Mama! I joined the swimming team!”
It’d been a whole year since Vicky’s family moved to the US. She realised that she loved a lot of things - swimming, animals, nature, drawing…… She started to dream once more.
Silvia appeared again. Vicky helped her climb up the slide. “Push me.” She grabbed her hand, smiling eagerly. They landed at the bottom.
Silvia didn’t smile back.
“What’s wrong?” She asked quietly.
“Someone stole my stuff. I know who it is, but I can’t get it back.”
“I’m sorry.” Vicky gripped her hand tighter. “I hope things will be better.”
Wind whistled and Silvia was blown away. Vicky wrapped her arms around her huddled knees, her palm cold.
—
“Wake up.”
Vicky awoke with a jolt. Gianni had gone. She wanted to go back to dreaming, but squeezing her eyes tightly shut, all that was in front of her was darkness.
So, it had been Silvia. All along.
Vicky couldn’t open her eyes. What if she looses hold once she did? She remembered those times Silvia’s hand slipped out of hers, when darkness ended abruptly, and she became forgetful under sunlight.
She opened her ears and printed the rusty chains of a swing into her memory. Every blood pulse and every rustle of the wind synced together. Her hand pressed against the bedsheets, as if trying to carve in the feeling of their palm lines intertwined.
—
“Happy Birthday!” Silvia and Gianni took out the cake together. The only time she had seen them walking alongside each other without bickering, afraid that the cake would fall.
Vicky smiled and took a deep breath, ready to blow the candle. The sharp scent of smoke shot in her throat. She turned aside frantically, a lump already forming from her lungs. She tried to swallow, stood up, and stumbled towards the bathroom.
Inside, she clamped a hand around her neck. Don’t…don’t let them know…
Gianni rushed in after Silvia, who clutched her shoulder immediately. “Vicky, Are you ok?”
Her hand shot up to clasp her mouth shut, but it was too late. A clump of pink petals fell into the sink. Blood stained with white tiles. Tiny roots sprawled across the edge and hung low.
Both Silvia and Gianni froze and stared.
Vicky pushed pass both of them and ran to her bedroom.
—
She recognised Gianni’s knock. Then Silvia’s. None of which she made a sound. Her throat tinkled and twisted. A whole flower spilled out and Vicky gazed at the ball of Hydrangea with watery eyes.
It hurt so much. By now, she couldn’t tell whether it was her throat or her heart.
“I’m dying,” Vicky whispered out loud.
Soon, all the knocking died down.