Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Things that Harlequin can't do.

1. He can't say that the hotdogs are made from soylent green.

2. He can't say that any dairy food is human breast milk.

3. He can't tell people that Pierrot has been hit with the ugly stick and that's why he is covered up.

4. He can't put flowers in Doctor's mask.

5. NO LIQUID ASS OR FART SPRAY!!!

6. He can't tell Doctor to hold something and walk off. Doctor will keep holding it for him when Harlequin decides to come back to get said item.

7. Don't put hair dye in anyone's shampoo or hair care. You know what you did to Pierrot and Jester.

8. No more watching Bob's burgers. He got ideas to pull pranks with it.

9. No fart machines.

10. No changing Pierrot's ringtune or text message tune.

11. No messing with Pierrot's phone or Ticket Taker's.

12. No messing with anyone's phones.

13. No pens cap swapping.

14. No leaving chocolate candy in a pool at hotels.

15. No brown dyes on Doctor's plants.

16. No sex in the main tents.

17. No sex in someone else's bed.

18. No sex in the open, even if no one can see.

19. No sex on Ticket Taker's desk.

20. No sex on Jester's desk.

21. No sex in shared hotel rooms.

22. Don't swap Doctor's tools with kids' doctor toys.

23. No swapping tools with kid versions of said tools.

24. Don't use stilts. We are already tall enough.

25. No kidnapping human kids as a ‘joke' if they go sneak into the circus.

26. Don't put hot sauce on shared food.

27. Don't put hot sauce in anyone's coffee but your own.

28. No tricking humans into having your homemade hot sauce. This is not a sex joke.

29. No cricket noise prank machine. It had driven all of us crazy in finding it.

30. No prank machines at all!!!