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Dear Ms. Shinonome,

Thank you very much for attending our offices for our first meeting today. I am most pleased to finally meet you in person after our previous telephone conferences.

As spoken, based on the current information available, your case is a straightforward one. I understand that you have already served a divorce petition on your wife, Ms. Asahina Mafuyu, and that she does not intend to contest the divorce. All that is left on the agenda is to explore how to deal with the matrimonial assets and achieve a clean break with her as far as possible.

I have noted that you are particularly concerned with obtaining custody of your "beloved children". I have conducted some preliminary research on the current law and regret to inform you that your "children" cannot be the subject of any custody order made by the court.

However, there may be some other avenues we can pursue to ensure your "children" will return to your side. I assure you that my team and I will make every possible endeavour to secure this result.

I shall keep you informed of any further development. In the meantime, should you have any further enquiries, please do not hesitate to contact me.

Yours sincerely,
Naruhodou Ryuuichi
Attorney-at-law

NARUHODOU LAW OFFICES
成歩堂法律事務所

Delivering Legal Solutions since 2001

Dear Ms. Shinonome,

One more matter — while I understand the importance of your "children" to you, for the sake of clarity, I kindly ask that you refer to your "children" as "cats" in our future correspondence.

Thank you in advance for your kind understanding.

Yours sincerely,
Naruhodou Ryuuichi
Attorney-at-law

NARUHODOU LAW OFFICES
成歩堂法律事務所

Delivering Legal Solutions since 2001

Dear Ms. Shinonome,

As previously discussed, please see attached for your benefit my detailed legal advice on the issue of the custody of your cats.

I do not wish to repeat my advice in full here, but may I provide you of a brief overview of the same. In short, under the current law in Japan, cats are treated as "chattels" or property, and not members of the family. In other words, because cats are not treated as children of the family, we will not be able to fight for "custody" of your cats in the strict sense.

Consequently, our best course of action is to enter into a settlement agreement with Ms. Asahina, which is what we normally do with matrimonial assets. Distribution of matrimonial assets in divorce proceedings is carried out primarily through agreement by the parties. Should the parties reach a reasonable agreement, the court is likely to grant an order in the agreed terms to you.

In the settlement agreement, we could ask Ms. Asahina to give the cats to you, or allow them to stay with you for a few days each week, should you so wish. This shall require further negotiation and liaising with Ms. Asahina and her lawyers.

Please let me know whether this course of action is agreeable to you. Should you have any enquiries, please do not hesitate to contact me.

Yours sincerely,
Naruhodou Ryuuichi
Attorney-at-law

NARUHODOU LAW OFFICES
成歩堂法律事務所

Delivering Legal Solutions since 2001

Dear Ms. Shinonome,

I understand your viewpoint completely. As an owner of cats myself, I do not agree with the legal position that cats are property. I wholeheartedly believe that they are beloved family members and should be treated as such.

Yet such is the state of the law in Japan, and I am unfortunately powerless as of now to change it. However, it might please you to know that certain areas of the world, such as British Columbia, consider pets as sentient beings in a divorce context and treat the issue of who they should live with after a divorce with utmost importance. May we both look forward to the adoption of this legal position in Japan.

Please do let me know of your thoughts regarding the proposed course of action. I shall be awaiting your favourable reply.

Yours sincerely,
Naruhodou Ryuuichi
Attorney-at-law

NARUHODOU LAW OFFICES
成歩堂法律事務所

Delivering Legal Solutions since 2001

Dear Ms. Shinonome,

Please see attached for your reference a copy of the letter dated 30 April 2034 from Ms. Asahina's lawyers to us.

From the letter, it appears that Ms. Asahina has agreed to a meeting between us to discuss the custody of your cats. This is great news indeed and saves us the trouble of going to court for now. However, Ms. Asahina maintains a very strong stance that the cats belong to her, and that you should not be granted access to any of them.

At this juncture, I believe it is necessary for us to prepare an affirmation setting out all the relevant information and details, such as your relationship with Ms. Asahina, the background of your cats, and why you are of the opinion that you are entitled to the guardianship of your cats over Ms. Asahina.

Please kindly give me a call, so that we may discuss this matter further.

Yours sincerely,
Naruhodou Ryuuichi
Attorney-at-law

NARUHODOU LAW OFFICES
成歩堂法律事務所

Delivering Legal Solutions since 2001

Dear Ms. Shinonome,

Thank you very much for speaking with me at length over the phone.

As spoken, I will prepare a draft affirmation concerning the matter and send it to you for your perusal and approval some time later this week.

While I entirely understand that Ms. Asahina may not have been the most easy-going and amenable since the break-down of your relationship, and that the dispute over your beloved cats have caused you immense trouble and vexation, please do kindly refrain from using phrases such as "that insufferable asshole" and "the pain in my [redacted] ass" in any future communications with external parties, whether written or oral. (More "family-friendly" versions you subsequently switched to, such as "bovine excrement", should peferrably not be used as well.)

The usage of such language may inadvertently paint you in a negative light and damage our case. For the sake of your beloved cats, it is best that we give the courts and the other party as positive of an impression as possible.

In the meantime, should you wish to discuss the matter further, please do not hesitate to contact me.

Yours sincerely,
Naruhodou Ryuuichi
Attorney-at-law

NARUHODOU LAW OFFICES
成歩堂法律事務所

Delivering Legal Solutions since 2001

Dear Ms. Shinonome,

I hope this email finds you well.

I am in the midst of preparing the draft affirmation and would like to clarify one matter with you.

From the screenshots of the texts between you and Ms. Asahina that you have sent me, I see that your cats are named Carnation, Bowbow, Beet, and Misa. However, I have seen that "Misa" has also been referred to as "Mimi", "Mi", "Missy", and a variety of other names.

Please kindly let me know the proper name of Misa to be inserted into the affirmation. This is to ensure that the cat is clearly and umambiguously specified in your affirmation and the subsequent settlement agreement, which will leave no room for further disputes.

Thank you in advance, and I look forward to your reply.

Yours sincerely,
Naruhodou Ryuuichi
Attorney-at-law

NARUHODOU LAW OFFICES
成歩堂法律事務所

Delivering Legal Solutions since 2001

Dear Ms. Shinonome,

Thank you for your prompt reply.

While I must commend the creativity behind naming a cat "Misandry", I believe the court may not share my appreciation for the same.

May I suggest that we keep the name "Misa" for "Misandry" in our future documents and correspondences. Thank you.

Yours sincerely,
Naruhodou Ryuuichi
Attorney-at-law

NARUHODOU LAW OFFICES
成歩堂法律事務所

Delivering Legal Solutions since 2001

Dear Ms. Shinonome,

May I remind you of our first negotiation meeting with Ms. Asahina and her lawyers tomorrow in our offices at 3 p.m., details of which have been sent to you in my previous email.

Please remember to bring originals of the documents as set out in the list attached herewith. There is no need to bring any cat kennels. Unfortunately, it is unlikely for us to be able to recover your cats tomorrow.

I look forward to seeing you soon.

Yours sincerely,
Naruhodou Ryuuichi
Attorney-at-law

NARUHODOU LAW OFFICES
成歩堂法律事務所

Delivering Legal Solutions since 2001

Dear Ms. Shinonome,

Please do not be so harsh on yourself. While the outcome of today's negotiation meeting may not be the most ideal for us, there is absolutely no need to blame yourself for the same. Even if we were unable to arrive on any agreement with Ms. Asahina today, we have at least delineated and demarcated the scopes of our commonalities and differences.

Divorce is often an emotionally-charged and acrimonious process. Verbal altercations such as the one that took place today are extremely commonplace and happen in most, if not all, cases. I assure you that none of us will think any less of you or the case because of it.

Trust me, in my years of practice I have seen all sorts of happenings in the negotiation room. This includes the hurling of liquids, paperwork, and even infants (yes, infants) across the room by aggrieved parties.

Let us re-attempt to negotiate with Ms. Asahina once we are well-equipped to do so again.

Yours sincerely,
Naruhodou Ryuuichi
Attorney-at-law

NARUHODOU LAW OFFICES
成歩堂法律事務所

Delivering Legal Solutions since 2001

Dear Ms. Shinonome,

Thank you for letting me know that you have met Ms. Asahina in private in an attempt to come to an agreement on the custody of your cats.

I am sorry to hear that Ms. Asahina is as unyielding and unbudging as she has been throughout the course of these proceedings. Perhaps we may have to think of yet more ways to persuade her and at least obtain some access to your cats, if she is so unwilling to relinquish ownership.

That being said, for the sake of protecting your own interests, I would advise that any future meetings with Ms. Asahina be made known to me in advance, or, better yet, be conducted while I am present as your legal advisor.

Further, to answer your question: yes, a divorce decree is reversible. While it is indeed always a virtue to remain "intellectually curious", as you have put it, if there are any matters you would like to discuss with me, in particular pertaining to any planned or contemplated reversals of divorce decrees, please do not hesitate to let me know.

Yours sincerely,
Naruhodou Ryuuichi
Attorney-at-law

NARUHODOU LAW OFFICES
成歩堂法律事務所

Delivering Legal Solutions since 2001

Dear Ms. Shinonome,

Please accept my most sincere apologies for my baseless assumption in my last email to you. It was my last intention to probe into your personal affairs, even though it does concern your divorce, and I am your divorce lawyer.

That being said, it is my paramount duty to protect your rights in the current proceedings. Therefore, if there are any changes in circumstances that have arisen, please do not hesitate to let me know.

Yours sincerely,
Naruhodou Ryuuichi
Attorney-at-law

NARUHODOU LAW OFFICES
成歩堂法律事務所

Delivering Legal Solutions since 2001

Dear Ms. Shinonome,

Understood. At your request, I shall not be making any further enquiries, comments or assumptions on the matter henceforth.

Yours sincerely,
Naruhodou Ryuuichi
Attorney-at-law

NARUHODOU LAW OFFICES
成歩堂法律事務所

Delivering Legal Solutions since 2001

Dear Ms. Shinonome,

It appears that past meetings and discussions with Ms. Asahina, including those which you have conducted with her privately, have yielded no useful results. I consider us to be currently stuck in a stalemate.

In light of this, it is unlikely that we may have the benefit of reaching any meaningful agreement with Ms. Asahina through more negotiation meetings. It may be necessary for us to attempt the alternative of “conciliation”.

Conciliation is suitable for when parties are unable to reach any agreement for divorce, and is legally required before the matter can proceed to trial. It is similar to mediation in other countries, if you are familiar with the concept. The conciliation will be presided over by a judge and a two-person "conciliation committee", and the three of these individuals will try to assist the parties and their legal representatives in reaching a divorce agreement.

Please kindly give me a call at your convenience such that we may discuss the matter further. Thank you.

Yours sincerely,
Naruhodou Ryuuichi
Attorney-at-law

NARUHODOU LAW OFFICES
成歩堂法律事務所

Delivering Legal Solutions since 2001

Dear Ms. Shinonome,

This is a reminder that conciliation with Ms. Asahina will be held tomorrow at 9:00 a.m. at the Tokyo Family Court. Please kindly refer to my previous email for further details.

As this is an appointment with the court, please kindly arrive well in advance of the stipulated time, preferably at around 8:15 a.m. This will afford me adequate time to brief you further on some important matters to take note of during the conciliation.

Please do not be late tomorrow. I cannot overstate the importance of this. Failing to be punctual to court proceedings is one of the seven cardinal sins of law. Not only will it ruin the judge's impression of you, but it may even prove to be fatal to your case, should we find the judge to be in a particularly turbulent mood tomorrow.

Again, please do not be late!

Have a good night's rest and I look forward to seeing you tomorrow.

Yours sincerely,
Naruhodou Ryuuichi
Attorney-at-law

NARUHODOU LAW OFFICES
成歩堂法律事務所

Delivering Legal Solutions since 2001

Dear Ms. Shinonome,

May I know of your current whereabouts? The lunch break has ended 10 minutes ago, and I have not been able to reach you via phone nor text.

Please let me know your current status ASAP, thank you.

Yours sincerely,
Naruhodou Ryuuichi
Attorney-at-law

Sent from my BlackBerry

NARUHODOU LAW OFFICES
成歩堂法律事務所

Delivering Legal Solutions since 2001

Dear Ms. Shinonome,

Where are you? Please kindly let me know if everything is alright.

Yours sincerely,
Naruhodou Ryuuichi
Attorney-at-law

Sent from my BlackBerry

NARUHODOU LAW OFFICES
成歩堂法律事務所

Delivering Legal Solutions since 2001

Dear Ms. Shinonome,

The court is frustrated with waiting and I am regrettably at the end of my capabilities to stall any longer.

Please call me upon receipt of this message. It may be best for you not to come into the courtroom directly.

Yours sincerely,
Naruhodou Ryuuichi
Attorney-at-law

Sent from my BlackBerry

NARUHODOU LAW OFFICES
成歩堂法律事務所

Delivering Legal Solutions since 2001

Dear Ms. Shinonome,

For better or for worse, I have told the judge and conciliators that you have run into an emergency. They are not happy with the fact that we have not notified them in advance of your early departure.

I hope that you are safe. Please kindly call me back as soon as you see this. Thank you.

Yours sincerely,
Naruhodou Ryuuichi
Attorney-at-law

Sent from my BlackBerry

NARUHODOU LAW OFFICES
成歩堂法律事務所

Delivering Legal Solutions since 2001

Dear Ms. Shinonome,

Thank you for the update. I am very glad to hear from you and to know that you are safe.

While I am very happy to hear that you have reconciliated with Ms. Asahina through your "passionate encounter", please do not, and I must reiterate, DO NOT depart early from court appointments in the future to "kiss [your] wife silly at the back of the building".

While I do not wish to and, in any regard, am not entitled to pass any judgment on the matter, the court is entitled to do so, and your early departure without any prior notice is likely to upset the court. I highly doubt they will accept "make out to make up", as you have very aptly put it, as a legitimate reason for our wasting of the court's time.

Rest assured, however, that I am on top of the matter and will do my best to minimize any damage done. If you are minded to reverse your divorce with Ms. Asahina, it is imperative and advisable that you take action as soon as possible, before the divorce is finalized. We may set up another conference to discuss this matter further.

Once again, I am happy to hear that you have decided to reconcile with Ms. Asahina and will not proceed with the divorce any further. I can say that the conciliation went well, even though the conciliation itself was done through rather unconventional means.

Please kindly give me a call such that we may discuss our next steps. Thank you.

Yours sincerely,
Naruhodou Ryuuichi
Attorney-at-law

NARUHODOU LAW OFFICES
成歩堂法律事務所

Delivering Legal Solutions since 2001

Dear Ms. Shinonome,

I cannot overstate how much of a delight it was to see such a lengthy and heartfelt personal update from you sitting in my mailbox on a Monday morning. Though I did not have the opportunity to respond immediately, for which I apologise, please rest assured that it made my week.

To begin with, my most sincere congratulations to you on your remarriage with Ms. Asahina. Although I am a divorce lawyer by occupation, it brings me the most joy and satisfaction to see my clients find true love, companionship, and happiness, whether from relationships newly forged or rekindled.

While I must express my gratitude to you for inviting me to your wedding reception, I am afraid I must decline as it unfortunately clashes with prior work commitments. Further, as much as it flatters me, you overstate my importance in your "rediscovering your love" for Ms. Asahina. I was only fulfilling my duties as your lawyer; it is you and Ms. Asahina who worked hard to resolve your differences and find love in one another again.

Regardless, please kindly let me know of the particulars of the wedding reception once they have been finalized; I shall see that a flower arrangement be sent over as an expression of my heartfelt wishes.

On the other hand, I am most interested in the "Shibuya Cat Lovers" club that you speak of. As you have correctly stated, I am indeed a big fan of cats, as should have been apparent throughout the course of our professional relationship. (I am most grateful you see it as a ground for connection between us, rather than a source of professional embarrassment on my part.)

As previously mentioned, my husband and I do have two cats of our own, photos of which have been attached herein for your reference and perusal. While I may not be able to guarantee my presence (for work often beckons at the most inconvenient of times), I shall be most excited to attend the "Shibuya Cat Lovers" club meetings when available. Please kindly forward me further details, such that I may look into their membership.

On this note, may I also congratulate you on the newest addition to your family. I have perused the photos of him you have sent me. They are expertly shot and perfectly capture the cuteness and mischievous spirit of the kitten. Your friend Ms. Azusawa is a very talented photographer indeed.

I thoroughly enjoyed reading your explanation behind the name chosen for your new kitten. "Phoenix" is indeed a perfect name — not only does it match the kitten's fiery orange fur, but, may I add, it encapsulates how your relationship with your beloved has sprung back to life in the face of adversity. Truly genius! I am sure that little Phoenix will prosper and grow into a happy and handsome cat in your care.

Once again, thank you for your update, and allow me to express my heartfelt congratulations to you again. It was my utmost pleasure working with you as your legal advisor. Please do not hesitate to contact me in the future for any further matters, cat- or non-cat-related.

Yours sincerely,
Naruhodou Ryuuichi
Attorney-at-law

NARUHODOU LAW OFFICES
成歩堂法律事務所

Delivering Legal Solutions since 2001