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Alexander Hamilton hadn’t shown up to any of his classes.
To anyone that didn’t know him, that wouldn’t be overly alarming. After all, what normal college student didn’t skip out at least a few days? Except Alex wasn’t a normal college student. He attended classes religiously, illnesses be damned. For him to miss, without anyone forcibly dragging him home, meant something must be seriously wrong. John was worried. But John also couldn’t afford to miss classes to find his boyfriend. He pulled his phone out of his pocket as a clap of thunder sounded from outside. It had been raining all day, and everyone seemed much more gloomy as a result.
Checking his messages yielded the same result it had ten minutes ago. Alex hadn’t responded to any of John’s worried questioning. Firing off a couple messages to Herc and Laf revealed that the youngest of their group hadn’t responded to either of them, as well. His only consolation was that he was in his last class of the day, and it was almost over. As soon as they were dismissed, he could go home to the small apartment he and Alex shared off campus. Tapping his foot anxiously, John turned his gaze from the droning professor at the board to the window, watching the rain fall.
As soon as class broke, John was up and out the door. He sent one more message to Alex, hoping against hope that maybe he was just sick, that he was smart enough to stay home and maybe sleep and that was why he wasn’t answering. The twisting feeling in his gut had him pretty convinced something else was going on, though. John made it home in record time, his desire to get out of the rain and to make sure Alex was okay both driving him to go that much faster.
“Alex, darling, I’m home! Are you okay?” The words were out of his mouth before the door was fully shut behind him, and the lack of a response had him dumping his stuff on the floor and rushing into their shared room. It was empty. “Alex…?!” John called, a hint of panic creeping into his voice. His chest loosened slightly when he heard a faint whimper coming from the closet. Flinging the door open revealed his dear Alexander, curled up on the floor, hands digging fiercely into his arms. John winced at the hint of blood visible underneath his boyfriend’s fingernails. “Oh, Alex.”
Alex looked up then, as if he hadn’t even noticed John flinging the closet door open, and he seemed to curl in on himself more. John knelt down beside him, gently grabbing his hands. “Alex, baby, you’re hurting yourself. Why don’t you hold onto my hands instead? There you go, darling.” After some coaxing, John managed to get Alex to shift his death grip from his arms to John’s hands. He was pretty sure circulation was being cut off by how tight Alex was holding them, but he’d rather get pins and needles in his fingers than let Alex continue to harm himself. “Alex, I…you need to tell me what’s wrong, baby. I can’t help if I don’t know.”
Alex was trembling, leaning forward in order to rest his head against John’s shoulder. He took a shuddering breath, exhaling it in what sounded suspiciously like a sob. “Th-the storm…the storm, I can’t, I’m gonna die-” His words became incoherent beyond that, but that was all John needed, and he cursed himself for his own stupidity. Alex had told him about the hurricane. Seeing his entire town completely destroyed, being stuck in the middle of it all alone, of course that would have a lasting effect on Alex. And it had been raining all day…how long had he been sitting in the closet, shivering and alone?
John wrapped his arms around the smaller man, holding him securely and gently shushing him. “It’s okay, Alex. You’re safe. You’re not back on Nevis, you’re in New York. You’re with me, with John. It’s just a storm. You’re safe, I swear.” The sound that came out of Alex then was without a doubt a sob, followed by a murmuring of words that John hadn’t quite been able to catch. John carefully stroked Alex’s hair, not wanting to startle him, and felt the man relax slightly into his hold.
Eventually, Alex’s words became understandable, and John felt his heart break as he realized Alex was apologizing, though whether it was to John or to those who died in the hurricane was unclear. Either way, it was entirely unnecessary and unacceptable. John shushed him again, carding his hand through Alex’s hair once more. “It’s okay, Alex. It’s okay. You have nothing to apologize for. You’re safe. It’s okay.”
John wasn’t sure how long they stayed in the closet, huddled together while Alex went between breaking apart and piecing himself together, the entire process starting anew with each clap of thunder. John continued his platitudes the whole time, with Alex resting against his chest to help ground him. A while after the storm had stopped, John realized that Alex had fallen asleep. John couldn’t help but let out a sigh of relief. The bags under Alex’s eyes were testament to the fact that he didn’t get enough sleep, and having what appeared to be an all day panic attack had to be draining. It was because of these reasons that John decided not to move. Alex needed the rest and John needed the reassurance that Alex was actually more or less okay. And when his boyfriend woke up, they would have a long talk about the ridiculousness of dealing with everything alone when you had friends and a loving boyfriend more than willing to help.