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“Bones it’s not your fault” Jim Kirk whispered, tearing his gaze away from whatever lay outside the bars, to stare into the eyes of his best friend.
“How is this not my fault? I smuggled the damn ale onto this planet, which in turn got us stuck in the damn brig” Leonard scrubbed a hand over his face, worry making the lines in his forehead crease deeper.
“Bones none of us knew Andorian Ale was illegal here. It’s not listed on the file for this colony, nor is their war with the Klingons. It’s ok, we’ll finagle some way out of this” Jim reassured him, turning his gaze back to stare beyond the bars of their cell.
He and Bones had been imprisoned here on this planet, located somewhere in the Kanta System, after Bones had unwittingly smuggled illegal Andorian ale onto the surface, something considered a grave crime. While it wasn’t exactly the ideal situation, Jim had to have hope that Spock would find a way to get them out of here. After all, they were innocent of any real malice. It was an accident.
“I should have done more research” Bones muttered, hanging his head.
“Hey, that wasn’t your responsibility. I should have known everything about this place before I risked the life of my best friend. If anyone should be apologising here, it’s me. Some Captain I am”
“Jim you can’t be expected to know every minute detail about every planet we beam down to. You authorised shore leave here, and we all know the planet is mostly safe, apart from the usual crimes. It is after all one big city. Don’t beat yourself up about this” he said, resting a hand on Jim’s shoulder. He knew Jim would never knowingly risk the life of any of his crew, but accidents happened.
Like now for instance.
“I’ve never been in prison before”
A shadow passed over Jim’s face, some distant memory that still haunted him, and for a moment he was back there…back on Tarsus IV. Back during the food shortage that had almost killed him.
“I have” he said softly, still unsure if he even wanted to broach this subject, especially now. Being back behind bars brought all the long repressed memories back, and he felt the creeping fingers of claustrophobia tease along his skin.
“What?”
Jim sucked in a deep breath. “It’s a long story that happened even longer ago, but yeah. I’ve been imprisoned before. Not pleasant then, and not overly so now either”
He didn’t miss the curiosity that flashed through Leonard’s eyes, the curiosity and the swiftly following sympathy.
“What happened?”
Jim shook his head and chewed the inside of his lip, keeping his eyes trained on the floor. “Let’s not talk about this now? Ok? I’ll tell you, I will. It’s just too close to talk about right now”
Leonard placed his hand on his shoulder. “Ok. We’ll get out of here, I promise”
“Look at you, a minute ago you were the panicky one” Jim said weakly, huffing out a dry laugh. God he hoped Spock was working hard to get them out, he couldn’t stand being in here. He craved the endless ocean of space, the wide open freedom where he could go where he pleased. It was too close in here, too…familiar.
The memory from his childhood was not a pleasant one, but then nothing in Jim Kirk’s childhood had been overly enjoyable. Tarsus IV had suffered from terrible food shortages, and he and his brother had been almost abandoned on the planet’s surface, death an almost constant companion. He could still taste it, death – it tasted like metal, cold and unforgiving, and utterly terrifying. He never wanted to feel that way again.
Thankfully the incident had been wiped from his file, only Captain Pike knew of it and he would have preferred to keep it that way, but he’d wanted to reassure Bones. Stupid really. How was the thought that ones Captain had been imprisoned a comforting notion? God his logic was twisted. It was a wonder any of his crew followed him.
Sighing softly he tried to push the thoughts from his mind, but there was a funny taste in his mouth, metallic…and horribly familiar.
“You look very pale all of a sudden, put your head between your knees” Bones instructed, placing his large hand over the back of Jim’s neck, just the way Jim liked it.
“I’m ok” Jim managed, fighting off the anxiety attack.
“Shush, just breathe. Slowly”
Jim did as instructed, sucking air into his lungs slowly. In and out. In and out. After a while it began to work, and the taste of metal dissolved on his tongue. If only it were that easy to dissolve the memories.
“How long have we been down here?” he wondered.
Bones shrugged. “Bout 5 hours I think. Your damn first officer is taking his time”
“I’m sure he’s working on it. Placating the Kantan government won’t exactly be easy. Have you seen what they look like?”
Bones nodded. “Yep. Attractive creatures”
Jim chuckled as he recalled the appearance of their current hosts. Short and rotund, they were shaped more like giant grapes with legs, but apparently they wielded significant telepathic power. Not that he ever wanted to be close enough to test that out.
“Hey, these guys are supposed to have huge telepathic abilities. Can’t they just read our minds? Then they’d know it was all a mistake” Jim said, leaning close.
“Do you want to attract one of these goddamed things?” Bones quipped. While not overly threatening, the Kanta people were known to be able to turn a weak mind to mush.
“True”
They sat in silence for a while, each lost in their own thoughts. Surely Spock wouldn’t need more than 5 hours to convince the Kanta government that theirs had been an honest mistake? Besides, after this Jim could really go for some of that Andorian ale. Better to do that back on the Enterprise, lest he rub salt into the wounds.
Finally after another hour the welcome sight of his First Officer made them both grin in relief.
“Spock! Oh thank God” Jim said as he rose to his feet.
Beside Spock, a Kanta official unlocked the cell door and allowed them to leave, offering them peace after such an event.
“Of course. I’m sure the United Federation of Planets would be welcome and open to negotiations with your people. Once again on behalf of myself and my colleague, I apologise sincerely for the mistake made today.”
“Go in peace Captain Kirk” the Kanta said, waving his stubby arm. Jim felt a wave of vertigo and realised the alien was scanning his mind. Everything went fuzzy for a minute before his vision cleared and he looked up. Bones seemed to have been similarly affected, but Spock was fine.
“Thank you” he said, knowing the alien had made an honest mistake. There were no hard feelings here, but there were many more to be discussed back on board the Enterprise. He was sure Bones wouldn’t let him forget about his revelation in the cell, and he realised it wouldn’t be half bad to share his secret pain with his best friend.
Bones always had a way of making him feel like the most important man in the universe, and that was a very very large place. That they both knew from experience.
Just as he felt the familiar tingle of the transporter beam, Jim realised he needed to feel that right now. He needed to feel like he was the most important man in the world. At least to somebody.
And that somebody was Leonard McCoy. His Bones.